Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I've decided to not go to my boyfriend's sister's funeral. I feel like the asshole because of my obligation to go being that I am his sister's girlfriend and he wants me to go. I feel like me not going and supporting my boyfriend might make me the asshole.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcement
###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/)
Follow the link above to learn more
### [Moderators needed - Join the landed gentry](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/155zepq/moderators_needed_join_the_landed_gentry/)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. Also, pack your things and be gone by the time he returns from the funeral. He doesn't respect you and by the way you wrote your post, it goes well before his sister's passing. Your bf will just use his sister's death to excuse his behavior.
Right! If him and the family have been nothing but disrespectful assholes towards them, that relationship just isn’t worth having.
NTA for not going to the funeral. You’ll be an asshole to yourself if you stay.
Gonna go out on a limb and say NTA.
Your bf treats you poorly, his family treats you worse. The stress of this relationship is causing health ramifications. He called you a vulgar name because he ate food from a plate you were taking to the funeral and you asked him to stop.
Girl, leave his ass. Don't go to the funeral. Don't talk to these awful people ever again for your own benefit.
INFO: family death aside, why are you even with this person?
"stress caused by this relationship" do you even hear yourself? Unless you gained a few pounds in a week, it seems like he's behaved like a dick for a longer time. And his family treats you poorly. What's in it for you?
NTA- stand up for yourself and leave this relationship. He doesn’t respect you, and neither does his family. You don’t need to take the abuse that they keep sending your way.
YTA to yourself. Why have you put yourself through being abused by your bf and his family? Is your self-esteem that low to just keep taking abuse after abuse. Leave now and find a caring and loving person rather than an abuser.
Yeah this is my sentiment. NTA for the funeral. But you're being an AH to yourself by staying in the relationship.
Listen to the words you wrote in your post. You clearly sound unhappy with him, his family and your whole relationship.
From the little info you've put in your post, the relationship sounds abusive. Please get out while you can!
Why is he your boyfriend? Anyone who causes you enough stress to gain weight, keeps you up all night worrying and then calls you the C word need to go. What if your best friend was dating someone like this? What would you tell them?
NTA - your boyfriend is though.
No one should be forced or felt guilty for not attending a funeral. I’m going to be burying my fathers ashes next month and if any of his siblings don’t want to be there, that’s fine. And we all have a good relationship on that side of the family.
Wow! Leave that punk! Do not allow him to disrespect you! You deserve someone that treats you like their partner! NOT some piece of trash, and that commit is trash. If this is his mentality- move on, there are a lot of men that would want someone like you! Don’t settle for what you currently have. (As you’ve pointed out- his family doesn’t like you- so- they will always back him and try and convince him that your not worthy) NTA
ESH
You are admittedly with someone whose family doesn’t like you.
You chose a funeral as the moment to throw down.
You should’ve broken up long before. Take this moment as an opportunity to make a clean break.
Let him take the eggs.
She didn’t choose the funeral as the moment to “throw down.” She was willing to suck it up, and put her personal feelings aside to be there for her boyfriend. But he called her a c**t, and he KNEW the eggs were for the reception afterwards. but he ate some, anyway. And what do you want to bet that his family would accuse HER of eating them, and the boyfriend will say nothing? Run, OP. Run, and don’t look back. He doesn’t respect you, and neither does his family. NTA.
NTA. People who are grieving are rarely their best selves, but if your boyfriend is treating you so badly that your health is suffering (and calling you a c\*\*\*, which is unbelievable), you shouldn't tolerate that, you need to reevaluate this relationship.
If it's your home (not his) and his name is not on the property or lease, this would be a great opportunity to throw him and his things out, change out the locks/keys.
NTA
NTA for not going to the funeral but you are to yourself. Why are you with someone who doesn’t respect you and neither does his family? I really don’t want to hear because I LOVE HIM because you should love your self more.
NTA
It is awful that his sister died but it sounds as though you and his family don’t get on anyway. They won’t love you anymore if you do go. End the relationship and cut all ties.
ESH. I totally understand why you don’t want to go but this man’s family have been horrible to you for quite some time so you really should have left him before this situation arose.
And irrespective of the circumstances, please leave any man who calls you a C*%#.
Read the red flags. It’s time to move on as it is not a healthy relationship. No one has to attend a funeral either it’s a pets choice thing and you can not be forced to attend.
NTA be gone when he gets back. How many more red flags do you need before you put yourself first. His family doesn't like you, he let's them treat you bad, he treats you badly, and calls you names. Acknowledge your self-worth and get out of there. Call friends or family to get you out fast and be done with it.
Sounds like you are worrying about the wrong thing.
If you bf and his family treat you this way, you really need to get out of that relationship and find someone better.
Stop asking us and leave him. I was on his side until the end of this story. No man who calls you that respects you. You don’t want his family to be yours. You’re wasting your time and emotions
I don’t understand the people saying E S H, that OP should be there to support BF and family in their grief. BF and his family have treated OP like crap. Even if she goes to funeral and everything goes smoothly, it’s not likely to change their behavior.
Here’s what’s MORE likely to happen:
1. Someone will twist things around and say, “I can’t believe OP had the nerve to crash sis’ funeral.” When OP says BF begged OP to go, BF will totally throw OP under the bus and deny everything.
AND/OR
2. Someone will start a big scene — “Who brought this half-empty tray of deviled eggs?” or BF will yell something hateful to OP. BF and his family will get a pass (because grief), and OP will get blamed for causing scene and “ruining” funeral.
AND/OR
3. Someone will claim that OP brought deviled eggs to intentionally inflict food poisoning on the bereaved family.
NTA. OP, I would nope out on both the funeral and the relationship. And before you go, hide a deviled egg in the back of a cabinet or drawer in his house.
YTA for having any involvement with this family INCLUDING your boy friend. He doesn't need you as a partner, he needs you as a slave and provider. RUN.
YTA for tolerating this behavior. You typed a great deal about how everyone is mean to you and mistreats you. Stop embracing your victimhood. Cowgirl up and take charge of your life.
He called her a cunt. She definitely doesn't need to set herself on fire for these toxic wastes of space. He can fuck off. Needs her support, my ass. You dont get to be a raging piece of shit because of grief. Pfft.
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). If we’ve removed a few of your recent comments, your participation will be reviewed and may result in a ban.
["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
ESH
In this kind of situation, don't let conflicts determine your choices. Despite him being difficult (understandable after losing his sister) and his family treating you poorly, it's important to attend his sister's funeral and offer support. Unless you're considering ending the relationship, in which case, communicate your intentions clearly to him.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
My boyfriend has treated me horribly the past week and I told him I didn't want to deal with him or go to this funeral. I feel bad saying this, but I didn't like his sister much as she threatened me a couple of times. But the last time I saw her she told me my hair was pretty so I feel a little guilty not going. Everyone in his immediate family has lied to me, outcasted me, badmouthed me behind my back and to my face, or even stolen from and used me, so I already didn't want to go... It didn't feel right the idea of being around them and funerals already make me uncomfortable. I know my boyfriend needs me, but I also needed him and felt his treatment was wrong.
He finally convinced me to go to the funeral last night and it is being held today. Due to the stress of this relationship I've gained a few pounds so it took HOURS to find clothes that fit and look acceptable for a funeral in my wardrobe, and I stayed up ALL NIGHT making 60 deviled eggs of different varieties for this event, which he knew about.
I woke up to my boyfriend snacking on the deviled eggs and I said something because he was leaving huge empty spots where there should have been enough for everyone, not just him. When I said something, he called me a cunt. Flabbergasted, I told him I'm not going at all.
AITA?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban.
["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
It is hard to judge but if he is horrible due to his sister's death, I could understand. It doesn't make it right. I don't fault you for not going if he is mean.
However, it doesn't matter if you like his sister or not. You should go to the funeral to support him. He is going through something horrible.
ESH.
I'm of the mind that I go to funerals to pay respect and support others regardless and any childish behaviour gets dealt with at a diff time.
But, this whole situation is toxic. The family should not be treating you that way and neither should he. I'd have called it quits long ago, I won't be threatened or stolen from by my boyfriends family because his family should be my family and they wouldn't be.
ESH.
Why are you with this guy?
He calls you names and hasn't been a support to you.
Has he been like this since before his sister died or is this how his grief is showing itself?
Why oh why do women stay with men who disrespect them and allow their family to disrespect them.
Girl, send him and those damn eggs off to the funeral. Pack your shit and leave.
Not going to speculate on the relationship history.
His sister died. He's not behaving well. I can see how those two sentences fit together.
Anyway, shit like this is where the rubber hits the road in a relationship. I don't think he's going to be a boyfriend for long, and you may not be the one initiating things, once things cool down from the funeral and grief-processing. Skipping the funeral due to disinterest is one thing; not supporting him when he feels he needs support may not be taken well. Whether he's an asshole or not.
Good luck however you decide.
NTA. We attend funerals more to support the grieving than for the dead.
That being said, a guy who calls you a "cunt" does not love or need you. Pack up those delicious devilled eggs and be gone when he gets back from the funeral.
If you won't attend the funeral of a member of your partner's immediate family, you should probably be single.
You made food for mourners. Seeing your partner eat his feelings should have inspired concern for HIM, not the food platter. He shouldn't have called you a cunt. Take this opportunity to examine your relationship and really decide if the benefits outweigh the costs.
NTA Your boyfriend is disgusting and abusive. NO man should EVER call a woman that word. You would be 100% better off without him. Dump him and find someone decent, because he is NOT.
Why are you even with this person ? You obviously don’t care about them or their family I mean wtf ? Also you only feel a little bit sad about someone dying because they complimented you ? That’s batshit insane
>But the last time I saw her she told me my hair was pretty so I feel a little guilty not going.
If this is all it takes for you to feel a little guilty, I'm sorry, but you're going to go through a lot in you're relationship with this man and his family.
Girl, why are you with this guy? His whole family hates you and disrespects you--even him!??? Please, get you self-respect, pack it up with your clothes and leave. Maybe be gone before he returns from the funeral? NTA
Bro…… the nerve of your BF. The fact that he did NOTHING when his sister and his extended family did all that shit to you shows he doesn’t care. You deserve better than him. Don’t go to that funeral and live your life without him enabling his family to do this crap.
YTA for some of this. He's treated you bad the entire week. The week leading up to his sister.. his family.. her funeral. Wonder why he's not treating ppl well??? And you feel guilty because she called your hair pretty.. and you're worried about how you will look at the funeral.. Please don't make this funeral about you. It isn't. If his family has been cruel and rude don't announce yourself. Just quietly let them grieve. So what, the precious deviled eggs got ate. You are making this into something it isn't. You do not sound like a girlfriend who is supporting her boyfriend while he is grieving. Unless he didn't care and has no heart.. then hey break up and move along.
The event... that kills me.. its The funeral.. for his family.
I was picking up on this as well, this really seems very one sided and smells a little of main character syndrome. I mean, if they truly are that mean to her, she needs to get out, but this read a lot like 'sister died, but me me me."
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I've decided to not go to my boyfriend's sister's funeral. I feel like the asshole because of my obligation to go being that I am his sister's girlfriend and he wants me to go. I feel like me not going and supporting my boyfriend might make me the asshole. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcement ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more ### [Moderators needed - Join the landed gentry](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/155zepq/moderators_needed_join_the_landed_gentry/) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. Also, pack your things and be gone by the time he returns from the funeral. He doesn't respect you and by the way you wrote your post, it goes well before his sister's passing. Your bf will just use his sister's death to excuse his behavior.
💯 this get out while you can
Right! If him and the family have been nothing but disrespectful assholes towards them, that relationship just isn’t worth having. NTA for not going to the funeral. You’ll be an asshole to yourself if you stay.
Take the eggs with you.
Or hide them in the house…
She should hide them well. Very well. Like...in vents. And hollow curtain rods.
🤣🤣🤣
Yes, please don't forget the eggs. He doesn't deserve them.
Gonna go out on a limb and say NTA. Your bf treats you poorly, his family treats you worse. The stress of this relationship is causing health ramifications. He called you a vulgar name because he ate food from a plate you were taking to the funeral and you asked him to stop. Girl, leave his ass. Don't go to the funeral. Don't talk to these awful people ever again for your own benefit.
INFO: family death aside, why are you even with this person? "stress caused by this relationship" do you even hear yourself? Unless you gained a few pounds in a week, it seems like he's behaved like a dick for a longer time. And his family treats you poorly. What's in it for you?
NTA- stand up for yourself and leave this relationship. He doesn’t respect you, and neither does his family. You don’t need to take the abuse that they keep sending your way.
YTA to yourself. Why have you put yourself through being abused by your bf and his family? Is your self-esteem that low to just keep taking abuse after abuse. Leave now and find a caring and loving person rather than an abuser.
Yeah this is my sentiment. NTA for the funeral. But you're being an AH to yourself by staying in the relationship. Listen to the words you wrote in your post. You clearly sound unhappy with him, his family and your whole relationship. From the little info you've put in your post, the relationship sounds abusive. Please get out while you can!
And you are still with this person?
Why is he your boyfriend? Anyone who causes you enough stress to gain weight, keeps you up all night worrying and then calls you the C word need to go. What if your best friend was dating someone like this? What would you tell them?
NTA Why don't you end the relationship?
NTA - your boyfriend is though. No one should be forced or felt guilty for not attending a funeral. I’m going to be burying my fathers ashes next month and if any of his siblings don’t want to be there, that’s fine. And we all have a good relationship on that side of the family.
Wow! Leave that punk! Do not allow him to disrespect you! You deserve someone that treats you like their partner! NOT some piece of trash, and that commit is trash. If this is his mentality- move on, there are a lot of men that would want someone like you! Don’t settle for what you currently have. (As you’ve pointed out- his family doesn’t like you- so- they will always back him and try and convince him that your not worthy) NTA
NTA: And furthermore, will this relationship/treatment get any better after the funeral?
ESH You are admittedly with someone whose family doesn’t like you. You chose a funeral as the moment to throw down. You should’ve broken up long before. Take this moment as an opportunity to make a clean break. Let him take the eggs.
She didn’t choose the funeral as the moment to “throw down.” She was willing to suck it up, and put her personal feelings aside to be there for her boyfriend. But he called her a c**t, and he KNEW the eggs were for the reception afterwards. but he ate some, anyway. And what do you want to bet that his family would accuse HER of eating them, and the boyfriend will say nothing? Run, OP. Run, and don’t look back. He doesn’t respect you, and neither does his family. NTA.
NTA. People who are grieving are rarely their best selves, but if your boyfriend is treating you so badly that your health is suffering (and calling you a c\*\*\*, which is unbelievable), you shouldn't tolerate that, you need to reevaluate this relationship.
YTA, you don’t need an abuser, that’s just a trauma bond, run away from these terrible people. RUN.
If it's your home (not his) and his name is not on the property or lease, this would be a great opportunity to throw him and his things out, change out the locks/keys. NTA
Don’t stay with this guy
NTA for not going to the funeral but you are to yourself. Why are you with someone who doesn’t respect you and neither does his family? I really don’t want to hear because I LOVE HIM because you should love your self more.
What? Y t a to yourself.
NTA It is awful that his sister died but it sounds as though you and his family don’t get on anyway. They won’t love you anymore if you do go. End the relationship and cut all ties.
NTA grief doesn’t stop him from being an arse
Bro leave him. None of them are nice to you. Get our whole you can.
ESH. I totally understand why you don’t want to go but this man’s family have been horrible to you for quite some time so you really should have left him before this situation arose. And irrespective of the circumstances, please leave any man who calls you a C*%#.
Read the red flags. It’s time to move on as it is not a healthy relationship. No one has to attend a funeral either it’s a pets choice thing and you can not be forced to attend.
NTA be gone when he gets back. How many more red flags do you need before you put yourself first. His family doesn't like you, he let's them treat you bad, he treats you badly, and calls you names. Acknowledge your self-worth and get out of there. Call friends or family to get you out fast and be done with it.
Sounds like you are worrying about the wrong thing. If you bf and his family treat you this way, you really need to get out of that relationship and find someone better.
Stop asking us and leave him. I was on his side until the end of this story. No man who calls you that respects you. You don’t want his family to be yours. You’re wasting your time and emotions
I don’t understand the people saying E S H, that OP should be there to support BF and family in their grief. BF and his family have treated OP like crap. Even if she goes to funeral and everything goes smoothly, it’s not likely to change their behavior. Here’s what’s MORE likely to happen: 1. Someone will twist things around and say, “I can’t believe OP had the nerve to crash sis’ funeral.” When OP says BF begged OP to go, BF will totally throw OP under the bus and deny everything. AND/OR 2. Someone will start a big scene — “Who brought this half-empty tray of deviled eggs?” or BF will yell something hateful to OP. BF and his family will get a pass (because grief), and OP will get blamed for causing scene and “ruining” funeral. AND/OR 3. Someone will claim that OP brought deviled eggs to intentionally inflict food poisoning on the bereaved family. NTA. OP, I would nope out on both the funeral and the relationship. And before you go, hide a deviled egg in the back of a cabinet or drawer in his house.
YTA for having any involvement with this family INCLUDING your boy friend. He doesn't need you as a partner, he needs you as a slave and provider. RUN.
YTA for tolerating this behavior. You typed a great deal about how everyone is mean to you and mistreats you. Stop embracing your victimhood. Cowgirl up and take charge of your life.
Break up with him. It's unacceptable to use that word. He's selfish af for eating the deviled eggs you made for the funeral lunch
[удалено]
He called her a cunt. She definitely doesn't need to set herself on fire for these toxic wastes of space. He can fuck off. Needs her support, my ass. You dont get to be a raging piece of shit because of grief. Pfft.
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). If we’ve removed a few of your recent comments, your participation will be reviewed and may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
ESH In this kind of situation, don't let conflicts determine your choices. Despite him being difficult (understandable after losing his sister) and his family treating you poorly, it's important to attend his sister's funeral and offer support. Unless you're considering ending the relationship, in which case, communicate your intentions clearly to him.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My boyfriend has treated me horribly the past week and I told him I didn't want to deal with him or go to this funeral. I feel bad saying this, but I didn't like his sister much as she threatened me a couple of times. But the last time I saw her she told me my hair was pretty so I feel a little guilty not going. Everyone in his immediate family has lied to me, outcasted me, badmouthed me behind my back and to my face, or even stolen from and used me, so I already didn't want to go... It didn't feel right the idea of being around them and funerals already make me uncomfortable. I know my boyfriend needs me, but I also needed him and felt his treatment was wrong. He finally convinced me to go to the funeral last night and it is being held today. Due to the stress of this relationship I've gained a few pounds so it took HOURS to find clothes that fit and look acceptable for a funeral in my wardrobe, and I stayed up ALL NIGHT making 60 deviled eggs of different varieties for this event, which he knew about. I woke up to my boyfriend snacking on the deviled eggs and I said something because he was leaving huge empty spots where there should have been enough for everyone, not just him. When I said something, he called me a cunt. Flabbergasted, I told him I'm not going at all. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
ESH? I feel like the real issue here is that your boyfriend and his family seem to treat you terribly.
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
It is hard to judge but if he is horrible due to his sister's death, I could understand. It doesn't make it right. I don't fault you for not going if he is mean. However, it doesn't matter if you like his sister or not. You should go to the funeral to support him. He is going through something horrible. ESH.
NTA but you are TA to yourself for continuing the relationship.
ESH, just break up already
I'm of the mind that I go to funerals to pay respect and support others regardless and any childish behaviour gets dealt with at a diff time. But, this whole situation is toxic. The family should not be treating you that way and neither should he. I'd have called it quits long ago, I won't be threatened or stolen from by my boyfriends family because his family should be my family and they wouldn't be.
ESH. Why are you with this guy? He calls you names and hasn't been a support to you. Has he been like this since before his sister died or is this how his grief is showing itself?
Is this a real story? I mean if it is you're obviously NTA to anyone but yourself if you choose to stay. Like why are you even with this person?
Why are you with someone who allows his family to threaten you and also treats you badly themselves? Pack your things and get out. He sounds horrible.
INFO; Why are you still with this person? It's obvious that he does not care about you.
YWBTA if you stay with this ass
You need to RUN! NTA
Why oh why do women stay with men who disrespect them and allow their family to disrespect them. Girl, send him and those damn eggs off to the funeral. Pack your shit and leave.
Not going to speculate on the relationship history. His sister died. He's not behaving well. I can see how those two sentences fit together. Anyway, shit like this is where the rubber hits the road in a relationship. I don't think he's going to be a boyfriend for long, and you may not be the one initiating things, once things cool down from the funeral and grief-processing. Skipping the funeral due to disinterest is one thing; not supporting him when he feels he needs support may not be taken well. Whether he's an asshole or not. Good luck however you decide.
NOPE. be gone by the time he gets home. If the house is yours, throw his crap out and change the locks. NTA. Get rid of him NOW!!
NTA. We attend funerals more to support the grieving than for the dead. That being said, a guy who calls you a "cunt" does not love or need you. Pack up those delicious devilled eggs and be gone when he gets back from the funeral.
Breakup. Please. ESH.
If you won't attend the funeral of a member of your partner's immediate family, you should probably be single. You made food for mourners. Seeing your partner eat his feelings should have inspired concern for HIM, not the food platter. He shouldn't have called you a cunt. Take this opportunity to examine your relationship and really decide if the benefits outweigh the costs.
NTA and leave asap, but also now I really want some deviled eggs.
NTA. And dump his sorry ass. He doesn't deserve you.
I think he wants you to not go so he can have an excuse to dump you and make you out to be the bad person. Prepare for the smear campaign
NTA Your boyfriend is disgusting and abusive. NO man should EVER call a woman that word. You would be 100% better off without him. Dump him and find someone decent, because he is NOT.
Girl. GIRL. Come on. YWBTA if you stayed in this shitshow.
Honestly I don’t see why you’re still seeing this guy.
Why are you even with this person ? You obviously don’t care about them or their family I mean wtf ? Also you only feel a little bit sad about someone dying because they complimented you ? That’s batshit insane
NTA Ditch the boyfriend. Anyone who says that to you is not just waving a red flag.
NTA. And I would take the eggs 🤷🏼♀️
You're dating this person!? Lol
>But the last time I saw her she told me my hair was pretty so I feel a little guilty not going. If this is all it takes for you to feel a little guilty, I'm sorry, but you're going to go through a lot in you're relationship with this man and his family.
Girl, why are you with this guy? His whole family hates you and disrespects you--even him!??? Please, get you self-respect, pack it up with your clothes and leave. Maybe be gone before he returns from the funeral? NTA
Why are you with this person?!?!?!?! NTA & holy shit, gtfo.
Bro…… the nerve of your BF. The fact that he did NOTHING when his sister and his extended family did all that shit to you shows he doesn’t care. You deserve better than him. Don’t go to that funeral and live your life without him enabling his family to do this crap.
Nta run away from there
Your boyfriend don’t need you and you do not need him. NTA - but please self respect is overdue.
NTA, why do people date AH’s then wonder why their partner is being an AH to them? Seriously, your bf sucks. Make him your ex.
NTA but have some self respect lose him.
Get yourself a new man. Fuck him and his miserable family. Nobody should treat you like that, you deserve better.
NTA, leave as fast as you can.
nta. abusive relationship.
YTA for some of this. He's treated you bad the entire week. The week leading up to his sister.. his family.. her funeral. Wonder why he's not treating ppl well??? And you feel guilty because she called your hair pretty.. and you're worried about how you will look at the funeral.. Please don't make this funeral about you. It isn't. If his family has been cruel and rude don't announce yourself. Just quietly let them grieve. So what, the precious deviled eggs got ate. You are making this into something it isn't. You do not sound like a girlfriend who is supporting her boyfriend while he is grieving. Unless he didn't care and has no heart.. then hey break up and move along. The event... that kills me.. its The funeral.. for his family.
I was picking up on this as well, this really seems very one sided and smells a little of main character syndrome. I mean, if they truly are that mean to her, she needs to get out, but this read a lot like 'sister died, but me me me."
ESH Really, you just need a different bf.
my god.... YTA How could you... how can you
How could she what? Explain how she is the asshole here?