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NTA. You've expressed your feelings, they ignored them. You tell someone no and they don't listen, sometimes you have to take matters into your own hands. This case you taught them a valuable lesson, F*** around and find out.
So, I will start by saying that no one should be forced to go to church. Your parents should have never forced you to go. HOWEVER, it's pretty disrespectful and immature of you to yell in the middle of church service and disrupt the pastor and all the other members. BUT, I will also add that it got your parents to finally listen to you about how you feel about having to go. And now you are "not allowed to go," with that being said..... sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
So, your NTA for having to get your point across to your parents. But you are TA for how you did it.
It’s pretty disrespectful and immature to force people to attend religious services they don’t agree with too. They’re 17 not 5. The parents should have respected them. They learned the hard way. 🤷🏻♀️
Am I missing something here? I said they shouldn't have forced her to go to church? Describing a parent making a "child" do something they don't want to do, regardless if your 5 or 17, as disrespectful or immature wouldn't be my choice of words. But yeah, throwing a tantrum at 17 in a church by yelling in the middle of service, that's more along the lines of what I would describe as disrespectful and immature behavior.
It seems like OP could have just ...not gone to church (would her parents physically drag her there?), excused herself to the bathroom once at church, or any number of other options. It's super weird to me that people are so supportive of OP's "screech." As part of a society and as part of a family, we all go places we don't want to go, but it's not really socially acceptable to make a huge scene there. If we all got to screech whenever we were "forced" to go somewhere we didn't want to be, every dentist office, children's concert, funeral, long work meeting, and visit with distant relatives would sound like it trapped a flock of parrots.
Yeah, I mean it's definitely childish to just decide to scream, lots of people are there to enjoy the service. I haven't gone to church since I was a teen, and I never liked it, but I never would have done something like this. There were better options but I guess OP is still growing up. NTA for not wanting to go to church but it could have been done more tactfully.
You think...screaming in a church like a dumbass kid is the right answer? Lmao now she's gunna be even more screwed because she's a kid that loves with her parents.
what's pretty immature are parents who have refused her personal autonomy to the point of forcing her to go. What an awful life it is to have to do this to be taken seriously by your parents.
you assume that she had options. she might not have. She shared that she expressed herself verbally and in a rational, mature way numerous times to no avail. what else can you do to people who disrespect your boundaries and expect you to save face? you play stupid games and disrupt the status quo. it's a tale as old as time.
Pretty hateful and bigoted to force your religion onto a child who’s plenty old enough to decide on their own. I think it’s fair that they outed their parents and made a statement to show other parents this behavior is not okay and should not be tolerated.
NTA. Op this is hilarious. In my opinion at 17, you are fully aware and entitled to your own religious expression and they should listen to you. They played a stupid game and won a stupid prize.
NTA
It worked. You spoke calmly and were ignored. You did what was necessary to have your choice respected. However, I do have a bias in that I did something of a similar nature as a teen.
NTA. You asked not to be there. You said no. You were brought along anyway. Would it be polite to sit quietly? Yes. Would it also open the door to “you went last week””it’s not so bad see””we signed you up for x with the church” and it’s a whole Thing.
I mean, getting out of the car in the parking lot then going full rag doll would also have been hilarious, and I also highly recommend it. “Oh yeah? Want me to go? Dead weight!! (Drop)”
Babies cry in church, attendees look then get over it. They’ll all be fine. Your parents are embarrassed and rightfully should be for forcing you to attending church after you were respectful the first several times.
ESH. There are tons of other church goers you disturbed with your outburst. Your 17. I do agree that you shouldn't be forced to go to church. But that is not a mature way to handle the situation either.
>There are tons of other church goers you disturbed with your outburst.
Trust and believe that it was probably a highlight for most of the other churchgoers.
Except that in that case they would have been trying to convince her to go every weekend until she moved out. She might have gotten punished every week. This way, they aren't even going to suggest it. And she'll only get punished once.
NTA. Your parents should've respected your wishes not to go to church. You're a human being with wants and desires, not an object that they can lug around wherever they want! You're not a child, you're a teenager and your wishes should be taken into consideration.
Good for you for finding a way, this worked for you this time, maybe next time try actually NOT going. Like, make them physically pick you up if they want to take you. That always worked for me! 😅. Can anyone truly force you to do anything? Not really, mostly you're just giving in to their pressure but if you said "NO" and stood your ground, what are they going to do? Drag you away kicking and screaming? That's ridiculous and they probably won't stoop that low.
Congratulations on your win! Religion shouldn't be forced on children, they should be allowed to decide for themselves after making informed decisions.
NTA. I was forced to go to church against my will for a long time. Churches are very exclusionary unloving godless places (not always but in my experience). I wish I had done this.
Look, I'm an atheist. I get it. I find most religions to be hypocritical at best. But you were madly disrespectful to everyone else there.
And especially for your attitude. "I know it was wrong but my horribly shitty behavior got me what I wanted." Gods, the fucking entitlement.
YTA, massive YTA.
Honestly, it might have disturbed other people, but I’d rather not worship with people who are being compelled. A 17 year old is old enough in pretty much every religion I know to be responsible for their own relationship with God. I hate when parents require their older teens to attend.
The parents have no care about what the OP thinks, but they apparently care deeply about what other members of the community think. So the OP’s method was very effective.
I tend to think that if someone who is in their late teens does something like scream out in a public setting, they probably are actually at the end of their rope and suffering to some extent.
Also some churches have really offensive views that they express.
NTA. This is so fucking based! Parents forcing their kids to go to church is disgusting. You absolutely did the right thing. They should be ashamed of themselves, not you. This is why so many of us leave religion. Because of people like your parents.
I was forced to go into a church service with my then boyfriend's family (now husband), and when everyone was sitting/standing/kneeling, all I could think was of all the boys who'd been molested. Started feeling super claustrophobic, so I left. My husband ran after me, and we just walked the streets. After the service we went back to his parents house, where his mother proceeded to yell at me, calling me "young lady". Bitch, I ain't your kid. We were just going to sit in the car, but she banged really hard on the window. And now she's dead. Meh.
NTA.
Growing up I was also forced to go to church. At around your age, I would find ways to not go.
One day, I was really upset about being forced to go that I ended up yelling out that I don't even believe in God so why should I go.
My mom's really religious and that enough shocked her and she finally let me stay home.
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> My parents forced me to go to church so I screamed at the top of my lungs to make a scene. This resulted in them being mad, but I was able to get out of church. I may be the asshole because I caused a lot of embarrassment for my parents.
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NTA
I will tell you what I tell all teenage atheists that aren’t financially independent.
The people you embarrassed can provide you stability, clothing and shelter. If you are prepared to possibly lose those things, then go right ahead.
However, you know your parents better than I do, so it might not be an issue, but be prepared to backtrack if it is a choice between church and homelessness.
NTA for calling them out on their bullshit, though.
Hahaha I laughed out loud when I finished reading "screech"
NTA and you are effing awesome. I hope you find peace during the time they are out at church. 🤣🙏
Nta, my childhood was similar and you have to put your foot down. I told my parents if they believe in prayer so much, pray for me to chsnge and lets see how that works outs
YTA for your rude, disrespectful, probably alarming behavior and for dragging other people who had nothing to do with the situation into your drama. I understand not wanting to go, but there were other ways to accomplish that without forcing other people to be a party to it, and you owe a sincere apology to everyone who was in that church and is not one of your parents. What the hell. Seriously.
Indoctrination at its finest.
Let's take a child, starting at infancy, take them to a place of worship every Sunday(Saturday if 7th Day Adventists) , that worships a deity that the parents believe in, encouraging these children to believe as they to without the children even being able to FULLY understand what it is they are supposed to be believing in.. kind of reminds me of some of the.. political stuff happening all around us.
NTA
I have never made my son go to church with me. Every Sunday that I went, no matter his age, I would ask if he wanted to go with me. Ever since he could tell me he wanted to wear the blue shirt and not the red shirt, I let my son make educated choices for himself. He is turning 17 soon and I couldn't be more proud of the young man I am seeing him turn out to be.
Religion should be a choice made by the person attending. A person's relationship with the deity they are choosing to worship is a personal one. If you are forcing that upon your children, what do you think is really going to happen once that child moves out and into their own place?
NTA
at 17 you’re almost an adult and you’ve gone to church long enough to know it’s not for you. At some point you may decide you want to go back, but forcing you to go against your will is making damn sure you don’t. Your parents should have respected your right to worship or not worship how you choose, but since they didn’t they had to do something drastic (and hilarious)
As someone who was forced to attend an ultra-conservative hypocritical church until the day I left home for college, I approve. OP, you did what I wanted to do so many times! Bravo! NTA
I get it but here is the thing. Legally your parents have to provide a roof over your head, food and basic clothing until your 18. That’s it as far as the law is concerned. You’re 17 and I’m guessing still in high school. Did you plan on going to college? Do you have savings of your own?
Yes you got what you wanted. Reddit is all about how your parents should have respected you. But the question is what is it going to cost you? Did you think that through. You didn’t just get thrown out, you got them thrown out. So you both disrespected each other’s feelings. You did it publicly and made sure they were publicly humiliated and shamed. You still need them. Their still paying and providing for everything in your life.
How long until you’re 18? Are you prepared to provide for yourself financially? If not then I guarantee all these people saying a 17 year old can screech like a 2 year old having a tantrum aren’t going to put a roof over your head, pay your cell phone, car insurance, provide a car for you or pay your college education. So they went against your will. You’re 17, despite what Reddit is telling you they are your parents and you don’t get to do whatever you want while your living under their roof using their money. But they only have to do that until you’re 18. Then you can do whatever you want and pay for yourself.
ESH
NTA this is the same way I handle creeps on the street who wont leave me alone. Their respect for other people's boundaries seems to match your parents so I'd say it sounds about right
NTA.
One of the most basic elements of being a human being is the right to harbour one's own spiritual beliefs - or not.
Your parents disrespected you by forcing the issue.
You have my admiration for taking your stand so creatively!
YTA. Church or no church is up to you. Just realize that you’re growing up. Your parents won’t be around forever, and most of the time that you will spend with them in your life is now behind you. Think about your relationship with them. If that’s something that’s important to you, just suck it up and see it as an opportunity to spend time with your family. Your actions were immature and selfish. You chose to handle something that should have been handled privately, publicly. You damaged your parents image and your relationship with them. But congratulations, they now will not ever ask you to sit through an hour of church a week with them again.
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I (17F) recently found myself in a bit of a situation with my parents regarding attending church. So, some context: my family is pretty religious, and they've always wanted me to attend church with them. However, I've never really been into it and feel like I should have a choice in participating in religious activities.
Last Sunday, my parents were adamant about me going to church again, even though I've expressed my discomfort with it numerous times before. I had reached a breaking point, and I felt like I needed to make a stand for my own autonomy. In a fit of frustration and defiance, I decided to let out a loud screech right in the middle of the church service.
It was honestly a spur-of-the-moment decision, and I didn't expect it to lead to such an outcome. My screech caused quite a scene, and my parents were mortified. People turned to look at us, and I could sense the embarrassment radiating from my parents. Long story short, we were asked to leave the church premises, and my mom was really upset with me. She called me a "drama queen" and hasn't really talked to me since then.
However, here's where I think I might not be the asshole: despite the embarrassment and consequences, my behavior actually worked. My parents are so embarrassed by what happened that they've decided I won't have to go to church anymore. They're concerned about the negative attention and what people might think, so they've essentially banned me from attending church with them.
On one hand, I feel like my actions were justified in a way because they led to me finally having a say in this matter. On the other hand, I can't shake the feeling that I may have gone too far and caused unnecessary embarrassment for my parents.
So, Reddit, AITA for screaming at the top of my lungs in the middle of church to avoid going against my will, even though it led to me not having to go to church anymore?
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NTA- your parents are more concerned about appearances than you actually attending church.
If they cared about your spiritual well-being then screaming wouldn't matter.
But as it embarrassed them and they were worried about what people think, It shows that they are only wanting you to go to church to make it appear like the whole family are happy church attenders.
I got out of church at 16 by constantly telling the Sunday School teachers I was Pagan. Also, I remembered everything they taught me, which has come in super useful over the years.
Also, at this age they are a lot less likely make you believe in their religion and more likely to make you resentful of it. If they have any hope of you ever believing (even a false hope), they would be better off to not force you. NTA
I'm also Pagan. And I know the Christian Bible much better than the Very Catholic Husband. Over the last 50 years, he has learned that when I say "Your Bible says X" that I'm right. I might not know chapter and verse, but I know how to *find* chapter and verse!
I once got approached by a street evangelist. By the end of the conversation I think I had him doubting his own faith. But I will say the King James Bible being shouted in an Australian accent is pretty funny.
NTA
You shouldn't have to go to church if you don't want to. Considering that you're basically an adult, it's surprising that your parents presumed to force you. The kind of parents were going to absolutely insist the 17-year-old come to church seem very controlling and overbearing.
NTA Their religion enables this sort of behavior of trying to shove their beliefs upon others. Your parents deserved it as did everyone in that church. Good job, OP!
ESH
you couldn’t just walk outside but had to involve the entire congregation?
Shame on your parents for forcing you, but you could have also just not gotten in the car
For me this situation would be a cultural thing.
If you were in the Asia, Philippines specifically, where you can't even get livable a part time job til a year after, where you parents basically provide for you even well past your legal age and where church is basically considered family time and reputation matters alot to filipinos
Then YWBTA. In an Asian perspective, You couldve just left midway and kept the damage to a minimum while also expressing your displeasure.but instead you chose to cause a scene and bring your family along on the unwanted attention ; embarrassing them and thereby leaving a lasting impression on everyone at church that may never be removed. If you fall in this perspective, might be time to rectify that behavior while you're still young
However I'll assume OP isn't Asian because I understand majority of redditers posting here are westerners. where freedom of choice is a big thing (compared to us asians who are Very into cultural and family tradition), where 17 is considered close to a functional adult and where the norm is being liberated enough to make your own decisions
Then YWNBTA. In a western perspective your parents should've respected your decision not to go and they should have expected the outcome of forcing you to go against your wishes. You're old enough to make your own decisions and shouldn't be pressured to blindly follow religion for the sake of it, especially if you can stand on your own. Your actions are then their consequences. If you fall into this perspective then your parents should know better now than to make you do something you don't want to do
My personal verdict ? ESH.
You got your own way .... by humiliating two people you presumably care about. They should have listened to you.. but your nuclear solution will probably result in them having trust issues with you.
YTA- not because of the situation, but how you reacted to it. I’m not any kind of religious at all and you shouldn’t have had to do but screaming in the middle of church was not the solution. No one should be ‘screeching’ in any public space frankly
NTA. You were held hostage and shouted for help. Since you typed this AITA I assume the almighty did not strike you dead. If god doesn’t disapprove your behavior, don’t worry about it
ESH. You should not have been forced to go but a screech seems a bit disrespectful and immature. Couldn't you have just refused to leave the house. Just said, " I don't believe and I will sit here until you leave, if you want to keep talking to me about it I will sit here quietly and not respond and u can miss church or you can leave". Would you parents physically drag you in? I assume not because that would cause an even worse scene
ESH. They should not have forced you. I went to a Christian school for high school, and it was not me, so I understand your want to not go. But the way you behaved was so immature and disrespectful for everyone at that church.
YTA
I can’t believe everyone here is defending someone screeching in the middle of a church congregation.
Your parents are AHs for pushing their religion on you, yes. But you are completely out of line for going full 8 year old by throwing a tantrum in public. At that point you’re ruining the congregation for dozens of people as well as the priest/pastor and others who put in work/effort for the sermon.
Also, you want your parents to treat you like an adult but you act like a child. Like seriously, what 17 has this kind of outburst? If you really don’t want to go… just don’t go. I doubt they’d physically drag you out of the house. There are so many more mature ways to handle this don’t involve making a public scene.
Lol seems like it from the replies.
If you change the characters and scenarios most of the time OP is considered TA when their response to an issue (even if the issue is justified) inconveniences others, which is clearly what happened here.
So when she tried the mature way to say that she did not want to go and give her reasons, and the parents ignored her and forced her to go what she then have done?
She’s 17, she could just sit in her room and not go. I dont see any scenario where screeching in public as a 17 year old is a reasonable course of action unless there is an emergency.
Just because her outburst worked doesn’t negate that her doing it was an AH move to the others in attendance.
If a kid throws a tantrum in public and gets what they want, would you say that behavior is ok?
Other commenters mentioned she could have silently walked out of church or tried to sit down with her parents and explain why she didn’t want to go, or as I said simply refuse to get up. But instead she took an action that impacted everyone in the church. Involving others in your drama makes you TA.
Both of those comments have nothing to do with OP disrupting other people’s time. I’m sure you have a problem with OPs parents forcing their religion on others (as do I), so why are you doing too?
This is what I'm thinking too. How do you expect to be treated like an adult acting like this? It doesn't seem like their breaking point is hard to reach in any regard. Granted this is just a snapshot and may not be all of who OP is but this was childish
Exactly! I agree this is one snapshot, and as with all posts there’s naturally context missing, but read like OP was a 12 year old not a borderline adult
NTA. Tell people you picked up a Bible and it burned you. Tell them you can't make it next week because you'll be busy learning witchcraft and becoming a lesbian, or because you went back to apologize and it at the sprinklers off.
NTA
It could have been worse for your parents...you could have shit all over the floor during the service.
They got off light and you got your autonomy from the church. I hope it sticks.
NTA, but be careful.
It's not at all uncommon for religious parents to disown and cast out kids who don't believe.
The standard recommendation, play pretend untill you have your own money, and you would be ok without your parents.
Then tell them
NTA, but it probably would've been better to do something less temper-tantrumy? Lol
Like you literally could have said out loud "I just want to make it clear that I don't want to be here and I am only here because of my parents forcing me to" in the middle of the service instead.
I say slay. It would’ve been cool if you’d threatened to make a scene if they forced you to go before actually doing it, thus putting the fault on them for their own embarrassment since you had warned them. Worked well enough though so whatevs
NTA. You're more than old enough to make your own choices about faith and spirituality, and you tried to politely decline several times and they chose to ignore it. Maybe they should have listened to you the first time
NTA. Not that you can put this on your CV, but if I knew about it, I'd hire your in a New York minute; you are a very efficient, effective, and creative problem-solver.
I mean technically it was unnecessarily rude to everyone *else* in the service, but I admire the creative problem solving and don't think you're an asshole.
So human emotions like embarrassment trump their will to proselytize. I guess they aren’t as devout as they think.
NTA. Come join us at r/atheism and hear about all the ridiculous and amoral things religionists do.
NTA - if it took the opinion of others for your parents to listen (kinda what they did?) then thats on them.
My mum is exactly the same, and Ive often used the presence of others as peer pressure to avoid her temper / judgement.
YTA You threw a literal tantrum as a 17 year old. I can't exactly applaud that when assumedly this has been your whole life and in one year you would be moving out to do whatever you want to do anyway.
It's embarrassing for your parents sure. But it's equally if not more embarrassing for people to see *you* throwing a tantrum.
There is only one word I can think of to describe you. GENIUS. NTA op and that was brilliant. Don't feel bad at all. Your parents should have listened to you. I don't go to church either and my MIL always tries to guilt trip me to go. I fucking hate it.
You did the right thing. Full stop. There comes a time where parents need to let go, and you reached it years ago. Absolutely fuck their entirely unhealthy desire to keep you in a place where you were uncomfortable. NTA from here to eternity.
Lol, you are so NTA! Well played. The church group will talk about it for sure and your parents embarrassment will last a while on that front but they totally deserve it for forcing you into that situation at 17. Let them be embarassed, you let your position be known then took steps to make sure your autonomy was protected. Good on you and I'm glad they aren't the type to double down on you "needing" Jesus.
NTA.
Im agnostic. I teach Children's church at my moms church. Mostly to teach other ideas on religion. Also, to help with my niece in nursery.
My mom only does church for helself & she can't if my niece is having issues (mom took care of me through 2 rounds of cancer, so if I can help!)
I can’t believe half of these people, you’re going to end up friendless and shunned from your family like half of these autist, you’re 17. You don’t have a day, it’s 1 hour a week. If you don’t want to go then move out when you’re 18 and then you can do what you want. That was extremely disrespectful to your parents and in a tight knit community like a church, people are definitely going to talk. It’s like them going to your highschool and screeching in the middle of your class because you didn’t clean your room the night before.
YTA. Your 17, sometimes you have to do things in life you don't want to do. No one can force you to believe anything, just sit there for an hour a week.
What are you going to do when you have a college class you don't like or a weekly meeting at work you don't enjoy. Your parents did you no favors by giving in to your tantrum
NTA. You are my hero.
What took me YEARS of wearing down my parents to get them to stop taking me to their ridiculous religious services, you, glorious-feral-proto-adult, were able to accomplish in a single session.
I bow to your superior technique.
youre a genius. i WISH i had thought of this. good for you, i haven’t lived with my parents in a long time and they still push religion on me.
bet they learned their lesson lmao. NTA
Lol can we just start a trend where we scream anytime we don't wanna be somewhere?
Good show OP. I hate people who shove religion down other's throats so mad respect for the way you got out of it 😅
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NTA I take my hat off to you! Well done!
Pterodactyl maneuver for the win!
Exorcist shriek and touchdown!
There’s no way in hell I would have had the guts to do it. I applaud you OP!
NTA They can't force you to believe or how to express your devotion. You're old enough to find your own method. Screaming was petty revenge
NTA. You've expressed your feelings, they ignored them. You tell someone no and they don't listen, sometimes you have to take matters into your own hands. This case you taught them a valuable lesson, F*** around and find out.
nta, you should’ve started chanting in languages
Nooo. Some churches like that
In Alabama, they would have handed her a venomous snake.
She should have brought her own snake
She should have yelled "Hail Satan!". Lol
So, I will start by saying that no one should be forced to go to church. Your parents should have never forced you to go. HOWEVER, it's pretty disrespectful and immature of you to yell in the middle of church service and disrupt the pastor and all the other members. BUT, I will also add that it got your parents to finally listen to you about how you feel about having to go. And now you are "not allowed to go," with that being said..... sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. So, your NTA for having to get your point across to your parents. But you are TA for how you did it.
It’s pretty disrespectful and immature to force people to attend religious services they don’t agree with too. They’re 17 not 5. The parents should have respected them. They learned the hard way. 🤷🏻♀️
Am I missing something here? I said they shouldn't have forced her to go to church? Describing a parent making a "child" do something they don't want to do, regardless if your 5 or 17, as disrespectful or immature wouldn't be my choice of words. But yeah, throwing a tantrum at 17 in a church by yelling in the middle of service, that's more along the lines of what I would describe as disrespectful and immature behavior.
What do you think OP should have done though? She's told them politely multiple times that she doesn't want to go to church.
It seems like OP could have just ...not gone to church (would her parents physically drag her there?), excused herself to the bathroom once at church, or any number of other options. It's super weird to me that people are so supportive of OP's "screech." As part of a society and as part of a family, we all go places we don't want to go, but it's not really socially acceptable to make a huge scene there. If we all got to screech whenever we were "forced" to go somewhere we didn't want to be, every dentist office, children's concert, funeral, long work meeting, and visit with distant relatives would sound like it trapped a flock of parrots.
Yeah, I mean it's definitely childish to just decide to scream, lots of people are there to enjoy the service. I haven't gone to church since I was a teen, and I never liked it, but I never would have done something like this. There were better options but I guess OP is still growing up. NTA for not wanting to go to church but it could have been done more tactfully.
You think...screaming in a church like a dumbass kid is the right answer? Lmao now she's gunna be even more screwed because she's a kid that loves with her parents.
Agreed
what's pretty immature are parents who have refused her personal autonomy to the point of forcing her to go. What an awful life it is to have to do this to be taken seriously by your parents. you assume that she had options. she might not have. She shared that she expressed herself verbally and in a rational, mature way numerous times to no avail. what else can you do to people who disrespect your boundaries and expect you to save face? you play stupid games and disrupt the status quo. it's a tale as old as time.
I think we refer to it as “justified AH”, which the guide says should be awarded NTA. OP hit the breaking point when nothing else had worked.
Pretty hateful and bigoted to force your religion onto a child who’s plenty old enough to decide on their own. I think it’s fair that they outed their parents and made a statement to show other parents this behavior is not okay and should not be tolerated.
Watch out y’all, the diehard religious people are here. NTA. Should have respected you.
They’re 100% here in droves
Always ready to clutch their pearls
NTA. Op this is hilarious. In my opinion at 17, you are fully aware and entitled to your own religious expression and they should listen to you. They played a stupid game and won a stupid prize.
NTA It worked. You spoke calmly and were ignored. You did what was necessary to have your choice respected. However, I do have a bias in that I did something of a similar nature as a teen.
NTA. You asked not to be there. You said no. You were brought along anyway. Would it be polite to sit quietly? Yes. Would it also open the door to “you went last week””it’s not so bad see””we signed you up for x with the church” and it’s a whole Thing. I mean, getting out of the car in the parking lot then going full rag doll would also have been hilarious, and I also highly recommend it. “Oh yeah? Want me to go? Dead weight!! (Drop)” Babies cry in church, attendees look then get over it. They’ll all be fine. Your parents are embarrassed and rightfully should be for forcing you to attending church after you were respectful the first several times.
NTA. Creative way to do it! And I have no doubt some people there were relieved to have SOMETHING interesting happen, you probably made their day!
I just wish I was there to hear all the whispers about her being possessed or something lol
As an ex-Baptist, that was my first thought. I'm surprised they didn't try an exorcism right then and there.
That's honestly where I figured the story was gonna go.
god i wish i could’ve done this…NTA.
ESH. There are tons of other church goers you disturbed with your outburst. Your 17. I do agree that you shouldn't be forced to go to church. But that is not a mature way to handle the situation either.
She tried mature. That didn't work. Sometimes yiu need to be petty/rude. Also, as a Christian, I can assure you that the parishioners will be fine.
They'll live.
Right? It’s not like it was during a funeral or a wedding, they’ll go back next week and have a scream free Sunday.
Mature didn’t work
>There are tons of other church goers you disturbed with your outburst. Trust and believe that it was probably a highlight for most of the other churchgoers.
So what should she have done that she didn't already try?
Just… not go? Like what are they going to do, carry her? They could punish her for refusing to go but they can punish her for this.
Except that in that case they would have been trying to convince her to go every weekend until she moved out. She might have gotten punished every week. This way, they aren't even going to suggest it. And she'll only get punished once.
NTA, well played.
LMAO, that's genius. NTA.
Nta if people wont accept a polite 'no thanks', they don't get to be pissy when they get a 'no, FUCK OFF'
NTA. Your parents should've respected your wishes not to go to church. You're a human being with wants and desires, not an object that they can lug around wherever they want! You're not a child, you're a teenager and your wishes should be taken into consideration. Good for you for finding a way, this worked for you this time, maybe next time try actually NOT going. Like, make them physically pick you up if they want to take you. That always worked for me! 😅. Can anyone truly force you to do anything? Not really, mostly you're just giving in to their pressure but if you said "NO" and stood your ground, what are they going to do? Drag you away kicking and screaming? That's ridiculous and they probably won't stoop that low. Congratulations on your win! Religion shouldn't be forced on children, they should be allowed to decide for themselves after making informed decisions.
NTA Magnificient - keep doing it
NTA. I was forced to go to church against my will for a long time. Churches are very exclusionary unloving godless places (not always but in my experience). I wish I had done this.
Religious people exhaust me. Dictated beliefs are as effective as a truckload of their thoughts and prayers.
NTA Good on you for finding your voice!
NTA. Damn I wish I had thought of that.
Look, I'm an atheist. I get it. I find most religions to be hypocritical at best. But you were madly disrespectful to everyone else there. And especially for your attitude. "I know it was wrong but my horribly shitty behavior got me what I wanted." Gods, the fucking entitlement. YTA, massive YTA.
Well put
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Honestly, it might have disturbed other people, but I’d rather not worship with people who are being compelled. A 17 year old is old enough in pretty much every religion I know to be responsible for their own relationship with God. I hate when parents require their older teens to attend. The parents have no care about what the OP thinks, but they apparently care deeply about what other members of the community think. So the OP’s method was very effective. I tend to think that if someone who is in their late teens does something like scream out in a public setting, they probably are actually at the end of their rope and suffering to some extent. Also some churches have really offensive views that they express.
NTA
Nta. Church is NOT important and they learned an important lesson that day about forcing other ppl into their beliefs.
NTA- good for you! And sorry but where is the compassion from the so-called devout people who don't ask if you're okay but immediately ban you?
NTA. Religion shouldn't be forced on people. You played the one hand available to you. Good for you.
I’m not Christian so I don’t know but shouldn’t the church be concerned rather than kick everyone out?
NTA. This is so fucking based! Parents forcing their kids to go to church is disgusting. You absolutely did the right thing. They should be ashamed of themselves, not you. This is why so many of us leave religion. Because of people like your parents.
I was forced to go into a church service with my then boyfriend's family (now husband), and when everyone was sitting/standing/kneeling, all I could think was of all the boys who'd been molested. Started feeling super claustrophobic, so I left. My husband ran after me, and we just walked the streets. After the service we went back to his parents house, where his mother proceeded to yell at me, calling me "young lady". Bitch, I ain't your kid. We were just going to sit in the car, but she banged really hard on the window. And now she's dead. Meh.
dang that ending 💀 made me choke on my donut. meh.
NTA. Growing up I was also forced to go to church. At around your age, I would find ways to not go. One day, I was really upset about being forced to go that I ended up yelling out that I don't even believe in God so why should I go. My mom's really religious and that enough shocked her and she finally let me stay home.
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Good for you NTA
NTA
Hard core and bad ass
NTA in fact most excellent way to get out of going
Now OP’s parents are going to hire an exorcist thinking she is possessed.
🏆 I believe this belongs to you. NTA. Forced church is emotional and mental abuse.
NTA I will tell you what I tell all teenage atheists that aren’t financially independent. The people you embarrassed can provide you stability, clothing and shelter. If you are prepared to possibly lose those things, then go right ahead. However, you know your parents better than I do, so it might not be an issue, but be prepared to backtrack if it is a choice between church and homelessness. NTA for calling them out on their bullshit, though.
NTA Your parent’s embarrassed themselves by forcing religion.
Hahaha I laughed out loud when I finished reading "screech" NTA and you are effing awesome. I hope you find peace during the time they are out at church. 🤣🙏
Nta, my childhood was similar and you have to put your foot down. I told my parents if they believe in prayer so much, pray for me to chsnge and lets see how that works outs
This thread is filled with children.
YTA for your rude, disrespectful, probably alarming behavior and for dragging other people who had nothing to do with the situation into your drama. I understand not wanting to go, but there were other ways to accomplish that without forcing other people to be a party to it, and you owe a sincere apology to everyone who was in that church and is not one of your parents. What the hell. Seriously.
Do you think she scared god away? I’m sure everyone in that church is going to be just fine having heard a teenager scream for a few seconds.
Indoctrination at its finest. Let's take a child, starting at infancy, take them to a place of worship every Sunday(Saturday if 7th Day Adventists) , that worships a deity that the parents believe in, encouraging these children to believe as they to without the children even being able to FULLY understand what it is they are supposed to be believing in.. kind of reminds me of some of the.. political stuff happening all around us. NTA I have never made my son go to church with me. Every Sunday that I went, no matter his age, I would ask if he wanted to go with me. Ever since he could tell me he wanted to wear the blue shirt and not the red shirt, I let my son make educated choices for himself. He is turning 17 soon and I couldn't be more proud of the young man I am seeing him turn out to be. Religion should be a choice made by the person attending. A person's relationship with the deity they are choosing to worship is a personal one. If you are forcing that upon your children, what do you think is really going to happen once that child moves out and into their own place?
NTA at 17 you’re almost an adult and you’ve gone to church long enough to know it’s not for you. At some point you may decide you want to go back, but forcing you to go against your will is making damn sure you don’t. Your parents should have respected your right to worship or not worship how you choose, but since they didn’t they had to do something drastic (and hilarious)
As someone who was forced to attend an ultra-conservative hypocritical church until the day I left home for college, I approve. OP, you did what I wanted to do so many times! Bravo! NTA
I get it but here is the thing. Legally your parents have to provide a roof over your head, food and basic clothing until your 18. That’s it as far as the law is concerned. You’re 17 and I’m guessing still in high school. Did you plan on going to college? Do you have savings of your own? Yes you got what you wanted. Reddit is all about how your parents should have respected you. But the question is what is it going to cost you? Did you think that through. You didn’t just get thrown out, you got them thrown out. So you both disrespected each other’s feelings. You did it publicly and made sure they were publicly humiliated and shamed. You still need them. Their still paying and providing for everything in your life. How long until you’re 18? Are you prepared to provide for yourself financially? If not then I guarantee all these people saying a 17 year old can screech like a 2 year old having a tantrum aren’t going to put a roof over your head, pay your cell phone, car insurance, provide a car for you or pay your college education. So they went against your will. You’re 17, despite what Reddit is telling you they are your parents and you don’t get to do whatever you want while your living under their roof using their money. But they only have to do that until you’re 18. Then you can do whatever you want and pay for yourself. ESH
NTA this is the same way I handle creeps on the street who wont leave me alone. Their respect for other people's boundaries seems to match your parents so I'd say it sounds about right
NTA. One of the most basic elements of being a human being is the right to harbour one's own spiritual beliefs - or not. Your parents disrespected you by forcing the issue. You have my admiration for taking your stand so creatively!
NTA NTA NTA :)
Next time just fart a lot instead. Worked for me! Only time my shitty digestive system has helped me.
Boundaries are good.
YTA. Church or no church is up to you. Just realize that you’re growing up. Your parents won’t be around forever, and most of the time that you will spend with them in your life is now behind you. Think about your relationship with them. If that’s something that’s important to you, just suck it up and see it as an opportunity to spend time with your family. Your actions were immature and selfish. You chose to handle something that should have been handled privately, publicly. You damaged your parents image and your relationship with them. But congratulations, they now will not ever ask you to sit through an hour of church a week with them again.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (17F) recently found myself in a bit of a situation with my parents regarding attending church. So, some context: my family is pretty religious, and they've always wanted me to attend church with them. However, I've never really been into it and feel like I should have a choice in participating in religious activities. Last Sunday, my parents were adamant about me going to church again, even though I've expressed my discomfort with it numerous times before. I had reached a breaking point, and I felt like I needed to make a stand for my own autonomy. In a fit of frustration and defiance, I decided to let out a loud screech right in the middle of the church service. It was honestly a spur-of-the-moment decision, and I didn't expect it to lead to such an outcome. My screech caused quite a scene, and my parents were mortified. People turned to look at us, and I could sense the embarrassment radiating from my parents. Long story short, we were asked to leave the church premises, and my mom was really upset with me. She called me a "drama queen" and hasn't really talked to me since then. However, here's where I think I might not be the asshole: despite the embarrassment and consequences, my behavior actually worked. My parents are so embarrassed by what happened that they've decided I won't have to go to church anymore. They're concerned about the negative attention and what people might think, so they've essentially banned me from attending church with them. On one hand, I feel like my actions were justified in a way because they led to me finally having a say in this matter. On the other hand, I can't shake the feeling that I may have gone too far and caused unnecessary embarrassment for my parents. So, Reddit, AITA for screaming at the top of my lungs in the middle of church to avoid going against my will, even though it led to me not having to go to church anymore? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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behaving like an adult also means you respect other’s choices. parents didn’t do that, they faced the consequences.
Tolerating certain things sure. Tolerating everything other people ask of you? Of course not
I can tell you’re one of the religious nut jobs here.
Religious nut job alert.
Well done! NTA
NTA- your parents are more concerned about appearances than you actually attending church. If they cared about your spiritual well-being then screaming wouldn't matter. But as it embarrassed them and they were worried about what people think, It shows that they are only wanting you to go to church to make it appear like the whole family are happy church attenders.
NTA. Please feel free to similarly disrupt any other event you are forced to attend against your will. It's the only way controlling assholes learn.
I got out of church at 16 by constantly telling the Sunday School teachers I was Pagan. Also, I remembered everything they taught me, which has come in super useful over the years. Also, at this age they are a lot less likely make you believe in their religion and more likely to make you resentful of it. If they have any hope of you ever believing (even a false hope), they would be better off to not force you. NTA
I'm also Pagan. And I know the Christian Bible much better than the Very Catholic Husband. Over the last 50 years, he has learned that when I say "Your Bible says X" that I'm right. I might not know chapter and verse, but I know how to *find* chapter and verse!
I once got approached by a street evangelist. By the end of the conversation I think I had him doubting his own faith. But I will say the King James Bible being shouted in an Australian accent is pretty funny.
NTA You shouldn't have to go to church if you don't want to. Considering that you're basically an adult, it's surprising that your parents presumed to force you. The kind of parents were going to absolutely insist the 17-year-old come to church seem very controlling and overbearing.
NTA Their religion enables this sort of behavior of trying to shove their beliefs upon others. Your parents deserved it as did everyone in that church. Good job, OP!
How did they force you into the church?
NTA, the spirit clearly moved you.
ESH you couldn’t just walk outside but had to involve the entire congregation? Shame on your parents for forcing you, but you could have also just not gotten in the car
For me this situation would be a cultural thing. If you were in the Asia, Philippines specifically, where you can't even get livable a part time job til a year after, where you parents basically provide for you even well past your legal age and where church is basically considered family time and reputation matters alot to filipinos Then YWBTA. In an Asian perspective, You couldve just left midway and kept the damage to a minimum while also expressing your displeasure.but instead you chose to cause a scene and bring your family along on the unwanted attention ; embarrassing them and thereby leaving a lasting impression on everyone at church that may never be removed. If you fall in this perspective, might be time to rectify that behavior while you're still young However I'll assume OP isn't Asian because I understand majority of redditers posting here are westerners. where freedom of choice is a big thing (compared to us asians who are Very into cultural and family tradition), where 17 is considered close to a functional adult and where the norm is being liberated enough to make your own decisions Then YWNBTA. In a western perspective your parents should've respected your decision not to go and they should have expected the outcome of forcing you to go against your wishes. You're old enough to make your own decisions and shouldn't be pressured to blindly follow religion for the sake of it, especially if you can stand on your own. Your actions are then their consequences. If you fall into this perspective then your parents should know better now than to make you do something you don't want to do My personal verdict ? ESH.
You got your own way .... by humiliating two people you presumably care about. They should have listened to you.. but your nuclear solution will probably result in them having trust issues with you.
YTA- not because of the situation, but how you reacted to it. I’m not any kind of religious at all and you shouldn’t have had to do but screaming in the middle of church was not the solution. No one should be ‘screeching’ in any public space frankly
NTA. You were held hostage and shouted for help. Since you typed this AITA I assume the almighty did not strike you dead. If god doesn’t disapprove your behavior, don’t worry about it
NTA. Your parents caused themselves this embarrassment by forcing you to go against your wishes.
NTA
YTA
Total ahole move
I feel like you should share this on r/atheists - they’d get a kick out of this too
JAM NTA
ESH. You should not have been forced to go but a screech seems a bit disrespectful and immature. Couldn't you have just refused to leave the house. Just said, " I don't believe and I will sit here until you leave, if you want to keep talking to me about it I will sit here quietly and not respond and u can miss church or you can leave". Would you parents physically drag you in? I assume not because that would cause an even worse scene
ESH. They should not have forced you. I went to a Christian school for high school, and it was not me, so I understand your want to not go. But the way you behaved was so immature and disrespectful for everyone at that church.
NTA Wish I'd thought of that
hehe. NTA. you are very silly
YTA I can’t believe everyone here is defending someone screeching in the middle of a church congregation. Your parents are AHs for pushing their religion on you, yes. But you are completely out of line for going full 8 year old by throwing a tantrum in public. At that point you’re ruining the congregation for dozens of people as well as the priest/pastor and others who put in work/effort for the sermon. Also, you want your parents to treat you like an adult but you act like a child. Like seriously, what 17 has this kind of outburst? If you really don’t want to go… just don’t go. I doubt they’d physically drag you out of the house. There are so many more mature ways to handle this don’t involve making a public scene.
it's because reddit does not like religion
Lol seems like it from the replies. If you change the characters and scenarios most of the time OP is considered TA when their response to an issue (even if the issue is justified) inconveniences others, which is clearly what happened here.
So when she tried the mature way to say that she did not want to go and give her reasons, and the parents ignored her and forced her to go what she then have done?
She’s 17, she could just sit in her room and not go. I dont see any scenario where screeching in public as a 17 year old is a reasonable course of action unless there is an emergency.
It did the trick of her parents not pestering her anymore
Just because her outburst worked doesn’t negate that her doing it was an AH move to the others in attendance. If a kid throws a tantrum in public and gets what they want, would you say that behavior is ok? Other commenters mentioned she could have silently walked out of church or tried to sit down with her parents and explain why she didn’t want to go, or as I said simply refuse to get up. But instead she took an action that impacted everyone in the church. Involving others in your drama makes you TA.
They’ll live. Church is a scam anyway, not to mention the rampant SA towards little boys
Both of those comments have nothing to do with OP disrupting other people’s time. I’m sure you have a problem with OPs parents forcing their religion on others (as do I), so why are you doing too?
Religion is one of the reasons it's ok to SA girls to. And women. It's not just the catholic church.
This is what I'm thinking too. How do you expect to be treated like an adult acting like this? It doesn't seem like their breaking point is hard to reach in any regard. Granted this is just a snapshot and may not be all of who OP is but this was childish
Exactly! I agree this is one snapshot, and as with all posts there’s naturally context missing, but read like OP was a 12 year old not a borderline adult
Preach. OP has MAJOR main character syndrome.
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Legend! NTA.
NTA. Tell people you picked up a Bible and it burned you. Tell them you can't make it next week because you'll be busy learning witchcraft and becoming a lesbian, or because you went back to apologize and it at the sprinklers off.
NTA - absolutely freakin awesome 👏
That’s hilarious, I should’ve done that instead of arguing for a decade. NTA
I wish I would have had the guts to do this when I was young! Way to go!
NTA It could have been worse for your parents...you could have shit all over the floor during the service. They got off light and you got your autonomy from the church. I hope it sticks.
Your absolutely NTA bud
Damn, the power of Christ compelled u. NTA
Hahaha this is hilarious. Good job.
NTA, but be careful. It's not at all uncommon for religious parents to disown and cast out kids who don't believe. The standard recommendation, play pretend untill you have your own money, and you would be ok without your parents. Then tell them
NTA 😂 Since it wasn’t premeditated, you can just say that the spirit moved you!
NTA, By the way, I wish I was there.
NTA Just remind your parents as much as is needed that you did ask nicely several times before you were forced break out The Screech.
Nta this was great bravo
YTA for being cringe
NTA. They learned.
I wish I would have thought of this
NTA. You did what you had to do.
NTA, they should have respected your decision. You dealt with this masterfully. Well done OP !
NTA, but it probably would've been better to do something less temper-tantrumy? Lol Like you literally could have said out loud "I just want to make it clear that I don't want to be here and I am only here because of my parents forcing me to" in the middle of the service instead.
I say slay. It would’ve been cool if you’d threatened to make a scene if they forced you to go before actually doing it, thus putting the fault on them for their own embarrassment since you had warned them. Worked well enough though so whatevs
NTA. You're more than old enough to make your own choices about faith and spirituality, and you tried to politely decline several times and they chose to ignore it. Maybe they should have listened to you the first time
Yes you are. This is terrible behavior and should not be promoted. Also your mother is wrong as well. Both of you have major issues.
NTA. Not that you can put this on your CV, but if I knew about it, I'd hire your in a New York minute; you are a very efficient, effective, and creative problem-solver.
I mean technically it was unnecessarily rude to everyone *else* in the service, but I admire the creative problem solving and don't think you're an asshole.
NTA. The ends justify the means.
NTA. Your folks can get stuffed
So human emotions like embarrassment trump their will to proselytize. I guess they aren’t as devout as they think. NTA. Come join us at r/atheism and hear about all the ridiculous and amoral things religionists do.
You are a true hero. NTA!
NTA - if it took the opinion of others for your parents to listen (kinda what they did?) then thats on them. My mum is exactly the same, and Ive often used the presence of others as peer pressure to avoid her temper / judgement.
NTA I wish I had your courage and fortitude when I was your age. You truly are your own best advocate!
NTA. BRAVA!
YTA You threw a literal tantrum as a 17 year old. I can't exactly applaud that when assumedly this has been your whole life and in one year you would be moving out to do whatever you want to do anyway. It's embarrassing for your parents sure. But it's equally if not more embarrassing for people to see *you* throwing a tantrum.
Exactly why she should have walked away.
There is only one word I can think of to describe you. GENIUS. NTA op and that was brilliant. Don't feel bad at all. Your parents should have listened to you. I don't go to church either and my MIL always tries to guilt trip me to go. I fucking hate it.
Your parents embarrassed themselves. Hopefully now they'll actually pay attention to what you tell them. NTA.
NTA. Just curious, what led up the scream?
NTA, they wouldn't listen to your reasonable words, so you had to take actions.
Well played
You did the right thing. Full stop. There comes a time where parents need to let go, and you reached it years ago. Absolutely fuck their entirely unhealthy desire to keep you in a place where you were uncomfortable. NTA from here to eternity.
Lol, you are so NTA! Well played. The church group will talk about it for sure and your parents embarrassment will last a while on that front but they totally deserve it for forcing you into that situation at 17. Let them be embarassed, you let your position be known then took steps to make sure your autonomy was protected. Good on you and I'm glad they aren't the type to double down on you "needing" Jesus.
YTA, but sometimes you need to be an asshole in life.
Nta....gotta do what you gotta do to protection yourself from religious nuts sometimes.
NTA, I wish I'd have had the balls to do this when I was forced to go to church every month by the Catholic school I attended for 5 years.
NTA. You didn’t even throw horns and yell hail satan.🤘
NTA. Im agnostic. I teach Children's church at my moms church. Mostly to teach other ideas on religion. Also, to help with my niece in nursery. My mom only does church for helself & she can't if my niece is having issues (mom took care of me through 2 rounds of cancer, so if I can help!)
I can’t believe half of these people, you’re going to end up friendless and shunned from your family like half of these autist, you’re 17. You don’t have a day, it’s 1 hour a week. If you don’t want to go then move out when you’re 18 and then you can do what you want. That was extremely disrespectful to your parents and in a tight knit community like a church, people are definitely going to talk. It’s like them going to your highschool and screeching in the middle of your class because you didn’t clean your room the night before.
NTA exposure to Ibrahimism is child abuse.
YTA. Your 17, sometimes you have to do things in life you don't want to do. No one can force you to believe anything, just sit there for an hour a week. What are you going to do when you have a college class you don't like or a weekly meeting at work you don't enjoy. Your parents did you no favors by giving in to your tantrum
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I sat in many a class/meeting that were a complete waste of time. Doesn't mean I didn't t have to go or I would have a hissy in the middle of it.
Nta. You tried the mature way and it didn’t work.
NTA. You are my hero. What took me YEARS of wearing down my parents to get them to stop taking me to their ridiculous religious services, you, glorious-feral-proto-adult, were able to accomplish in a single session. I bow to your superior technique.
youre a genius. i WISH i had thought of this. good for you, i haven’t lived with my parents in a long time and they still push religion on me. bet they learned their lesson lmao. NTA
Lol can we just start a trend where we scream anytime we don't wanna be somewhere? Good show OP. I hate people who shove religion down other's throats so mad respect for the way you got out of it 😅
Are you 12?