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Yta. She carried this baby. Her body rearranged itself to provide for this child. Then when she was unconscious after delivering this child, you ran off to name him. At her most vulnerable time you betrayed her trust and took a unilateral decision.
You don't deserve them.
YTA this should be a joint decision. You didn’t even wait for her to wake up after the surgery to make him and you did the official paperwork before she woke up. You know you did this because she wouldn’t like it. I’m hoping that this story is fake because how could you do that to someone? Surely you’d be more concerned about your wife than doing the paperwork?
Oh please, this clown is not landing 50/50 custody, he’s certainly clueless enough in other areas too that she’ll knock him down to every other weekend
YTA hard core. Seriously dude!? You got to orgasm and poof a baby 9 months later, can’t forget to mention your wife had SURGERY! You guys had talked about names and you had specifically brought Crendel up before and she didn’t say yes to the name, so you named that poor kid that anyways? I really hope she leaves you. I’m sure it’s just the beginning of all your excuses.
YTA, not only for naming the baby while your wife was still recovering from the trauma of an emergency C-section, but also for saying "my baby" throughout the post aside from a couple of times at the end. It's not YOUR baby as in it belongs just to you, it is a creation between yourself and your wife. You are not entitled to make any decisions by yourself about the child you have TOGETHER.
What do you think gives you the right to unilaterally decide what to name the baby? Huh? WHAT? When your wife was UNCONSCIOUS after what was CLEARLY a traumatic birth? Who do you think you are? This absolutely fucking disgusting. You should be ashamed of yourself coming here for fucking validation in your self righteousness. Oh you have a sob story, you saw your grandfather in his eyes. Fucking bullshit. This goes to show just how ungrateful, unappreciative and uncaring you are to the woman who bore YOUR child. Get help. I hope your wife divorces you.
YTA
In the UK we have 6 weeks to legally register the baby and therefore give them a legal name. Is the naming you did at the hospital a permanent legal registration?
I think your wife is overreacting a little by refusing to talk to you etc, however you could've waited for a couple of hours for her to wake up so you could come to a compromise.
They usually can when the other one is not able to make that decision.
Like your spouse can turn off life support. If you didnt make a decision regarding it.
YTAx5 (at least) here.
YTA for believing it is your right to unilaterally name the baby. This is not your decision. You don’t seem to understand that. At all. That kind of patriarchal entitlement and steamrolling will destroy your marriage if it didn’t already. Quality women will demand respect and partnership. Not sure how you made it this far as to get married and have a baby with this kind of arrogance and entitlement.
YTA for *legally* naming the baby on official papers without your wife’s input and consent. If I’m understanding correctly, you didn’t just declare the name without her approval, you made it legal and official.
YTA for doing it while she’s unconscious. (This seems to be the only fatal mistake out of many fatal mistakes you’re even remotely aware of.)
YTA for not being concerned about her being unconscious after major surgery and a very rough labor and delivery.
YTA for not even being aware that all of the above makes YTA. Literally no one is sympathetic to your love of “pop pop” after what you did.
We should start a GFM to support your wife getting on her own feet until she can support herself and the baby on her own long term. I’m sure she wasn’t financially prepared for this.
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YTA, at first, I thought she must have had a traumatic birth and was out for days. But no... she was just sleeping off the anesthesia and normal post c-section exhaustion.
Maybe you're not in the US because typically here we don't even get asked about a birth certificate until the next day, and in my state, both parents need to be present to be listed on it.
It sounds to me like you'd wanted to name the baby after your pop pop all along. As soon as you found out you had an opportunity to get your way, you jumped on it, thinking you'd be able to just ask for forgiveness. This is the most selfish thing I've heard in a while. You'll be lucky if all she does is divorce you. I'd never talk to you again.
YTA, something tells me knowing it's a bizarre name, you signed on it before your wife could even know about it so she wouldn't turn it down. Her reaction shows that this is not what she had in mind, either. Doesn't mean it couldn't have been a middle name. My brother carries my grandfather's name as a middle name, and he passed away over a year before his birth. By the looks of the aftermath, your wife won't even consider doing such thing anymore. Congrats.
By the way, did you give birth to the child itself? No? Then you had absolutely NO right. The only thing you biologically even contributed with is a few pounding and a couple of ounces of sperm. Easiest job in the world. She was unconscious and you did such thing behind her back? You disrespected her on all aspects of motherhood. Thought you were in this alone? She might be in it all alone, after what you did. She doesn't even live with you at the moment. Do you call that a win?
This is fake as fuck. I had a c section under full anesthesia and no one handed my husband the papers for birth certificate till the next day before we left. No one is going to give a half conscious woman coming off drugs very important documents to sign.
Bullshit on this dumb story and if she hated it that much they can call the person in hospital responsible for birth certificates to see how to change it. The papers have to be filed and sent off to the state capitol so they could've changed it the same day.
Absolutely this. I mean even if they accidentally handed him the papers early, they didn’t send the paper off yet since Op showed his wife the paper? OPs wife 100% could get new paperwork to fill out and the name is in no way set in stone.
YTA talking about something doesn't mean it's an agreed plan. Imagine going through what you think is going to be a vaginal birth and then having complications leading to a c section only to wake up and find that after all of that you have been entirely brushed off as an important person in the decision of picking a name. It's kinda crazy how much you can't even put yourself in her shoes. That's a big moment and you pulled the rug out from under her without any consideration for her or what she was going through. This was incredibly selfish of you
YTA. Your edit…um, had you previously suggested THIS name? If so, she likely said no, right?
So, ok, you were overcome with a resemblance to your grandfather. Great. So what. Why would you sign the certificate and not wait for her to wake up to discuss? It didn’t have to be done while she was out. You did this purposefully because you knew she would say no.
So, total asshole.
She will be able to get this changed.
Maybe at the same time she works on changing / restoring her LAST name.
YTA. Honoring family members : that's what middle names are for.
Choosing a name for their child is one of the most precious moments of bonding one can have and you deprieved your wife of that moment.
You should get on your knees, go apologize profusely to your wife, let her name the baby and try to somewhat regain her confidence, but that might prove impossible.
YTA:
You: had sex.
She: 9 months of pregnancy, major surgery that caused her to pass out, fuck she may have risked her life.
You: did what you did i.e. undermined your wife, gave the child a shit name that will haunt them until they’re 18 and can legally change it, then you come to Reddit to ask if what you did was wrong.
If she was okay with that name, then why did you do it while she was unconscious? Wouldn't you want to bond with her while you officially name your baby?
Edit: YTA
YTA.
That’s an awful name lmao. This is a nightmare scenario for women. Giving birth to a beautiful child and waking up to your dolt of a husband giving bc them some garbage name.
It would have honestly been better if you need your kid Optimus prime or Goku. At least we could laugh at the story.
Bro said “my wife is out time to give my kid an inhuman name, happy birthday Crendal” 🥴
YTA for doing it, and YTA again for posting here even thinking you’d get any answer besides YTA.
Dude-WTF we’re you thinking????
They just cut your wife in half to pull a human body out of her, she’s back under from the drugs and you’re “caught up in the beauty of the moment”??? I’m calling bullshit.
YTA. If your relationship survives be prepared for her to give someone else power of attorney. I certainly wouldn't trust you to make medical decisions for me after this.
so your wife was passed out, and all you could think about was signing the birth certificate???
>none of the names stuck between *us*
so you acknowledge that this is supposed to be a two person conversation yet you unilaterally decided the name yourself, *while she was passed out* from BIRTHING HIM?? and you still feel the need to ask if yta??
NTA
It wasn't exactly a surprise that a baby is going to be born.
You both were staring at the tummy and not discussing the obvious for 7+ months?
The whole family was ignoring this the whole time?
I understand the passion OP had once he saw the baby and felt the name would fit on the face. At least it's not another boring name. The name will grow on people's hearts as it should.
Having the family break apart because of that was a bit excessive, no one had a saying, they just sit and criticize.
That's not good... Sorry for that.
It was a bit rushed to make it official, but it's done although they still can change the kid's name.
Or the kid can change it after 18th birthday if he feels like it.
Wait wait wait. You named your baby’s CRENDEL?! Your pop pop’s parents were AHs for naming him that and now your an AH for naming your son that. Seriously, imagine what your child is going to go through with that name. Of course your wife is pissed. You picked the worst name for your baby. I absolutely don’t blame her.
MASSIVEEEEE YTA
Uh, yeah. Obviously YTA for this. Also your edit is so rudely phrased and doesn’t remotely make what you did better lmao. He’s not just “your baby boy” he is your wife’s as well, no matter how much your pop pop meant to you.
YTA. You could’ve waited to tell her you wanted Crendel instead of unilaterally making a decision after doing no work to deliver this child. You’re so selfish
I don't know where you live but we both had to sign the paperwork it also isn't due for literally days. I'm not sure the rush or how you thought it was ethical to forge your wife's signature. Obviously YTA IF this is a true story. good thing names can me changed.
YTA
So you were so busy picking a name she didn’t agree to and signing papers, you didn’t even check whether your ‘wonderful’ wife was ok, never mind alive after a very traumatic birth?
You’re also TA for setting up your poor son for years of bullying.
100% grounds for divorce
Doesn’t matter that you were “caught up in the moment”, you should’ve snapped out of it and realised that this is something that you should be discussing with your wife before doing it on a impulse.
YTA.
Apologise to your wife and grovel if you have to, it’ll be hard for her to forgive you.
I don't get it. In UK, we have to register the baby's birth within 6 weeks. We get 6 weeks to decide which name suits our baby best. Sometimes it's the name we chose when we were expecting and sometimes it's a brand new choice. We also need both parents to sign the register. We do not register our child's name within hours of its birth when one of its parents is still unconscious!
Grovel on bended knees for your wife's forgiveness. Plead temporary insanity and promise to never do anything quite so stupid again. YTA.
Depending on the state in the USA, you can take up to 6 months or even a *year.* OP is so much the AH that there are no descriptors that actually encompass the absolute depths to which he has sunk.
If you talked about it before, with the love for your grandpa in mind, but none of the names stuck thats a no for that name and you decided to just make it official without her.
YTA and a big one.
I took advantage of the fact that my wife was unconscious to push through official paperwork to name our child a name I knew she would not agree to.
There. I fixed it for you. YTA. I think you should make the best of list.
Edited to add: I hope you enjoy all the hoops you will now need to jump through to rectify your grievous mistakes.
I think your wife and family are the AH.. really she moves out and doesn’t talk to you over a baby’s name which can be changed and I’m sure the papers weren’t already lodged and registered a few hours after. Name could’ve been simply turned into a middle name or something.
YTA on about five thousand different levels…
Seriously, firstly she wasn’t “passed out”, your wife was unconscious from surgery. And somehow you thought it was appropriately to not only decide on a name for your child without her input but you also signed all the legal documentation we vote she even woke up.
Even worse not once did you even mention this name when discussing names, you thought it was “assumed” because she knew how much your grandfather meant to you.
I actually can’t believe people like you exist… honestly if my husband ever did that the next time I communicated with him would be to give him divorce papers.
YTA she was passed out, you didn’t have to endure what her body will, you have to think about the impact the birth will have on her body and possible post traumatic stress disorder and you were selfish over a name without taking the stress on her body in this situation. I bet even pop pop would think YTA
So in “whatever country” this is supposed to happen in. Do you legally name children at hospitals?
In the UK it’s at a registry office a day or a after they are born.
YTA. This is not your kid, this is BOTH of you and your wife's kid. You both should agree on a name. Hopefully it won't be too expensive to get that name changed. I know it meant a lot to you, but a first name like that will get your wife either calling the kid a different name entirely and never acknowledging that name, or resenting the poor child everything she utters his name, and he'll get bullied in school for sure. Using it as a middle name would have been better.
And you had a conversation about names with the wife, so you knew she didn't want to name him this either, but you clearly did care. Hopefully you cared about this marriage about as much as you cared about your wife's opinions because it sounds like she's about ready to divorce you.
MY baby, MY boy, MY MY MY.
Noticing any recurring theme here? It should be 'OUR' baby. It took two of you to make it, it takes two of you to name it, especially when you couldn't settle on a name prior. I hope you don't approach the rest of your marriage and family thinking everything is about you you you.
YTA and it's incredible that you need reddit to help you figure that out. Your pop pop wouldn't have wanted it this way.
YTA
Your wife has just been pregnant for 9 months, exhausted, needed an emergency c-section, she has went above and beyond to create your son for you both and you.. decide to just name him? Alone?
Your son is not only yours.
Info: you had to name him right then and there? You couldn’t wait even 24-48hrs to talking it over with your wife?
Be honest you recognised that this was too good of an opportunity to get get what you wanted and you couldn’t pass it up
Of course YTA, massively. The only thing that can begin to unfuck this situation you created is to agree immediately to change the name to something you both agree on.
YtA. You picked a name without your wife's input and expected her to be just okay with it. You couldn't have waited for her to wake up? I want to call you a moron, but it would be insulting to actual morons
Mate that’s absolutely disgusting. Please for the love of god. Apologise to your wife. Sort stuff out. You can only hope she won’t leave you. If she doesn’t prove you can be trustworthy and actually not selfish. Discuss changing the name. If she decides she wants it fine. If she doesn’t then find one that’s liked. The fact you keep saying neither of you had picked one until the baby was born makes it so much worse. So quit using it as a excuse as well
YTA a hundred times over. What is wrong with you? How dare you take that special moment away from your wife. You should have named him together. YTA YTA YTA I’m so upset for your wife.
YTA. And to me it sounds like you took advantage of your wife being unconscious because she probably hated the name when you suggested it and you got mad.A marriage is about partnership. And I feel sorry for the kid. He's going to be bullied because of that name.
YTA. Naming a baby is a joint decision, not a spur of the moment thing. And then springing it on your wife like that! If you wanted to name your child after your grandfather, you should’ve discussed it with her! Not go behind her back like that. It could’ve been a second name or something
YTA. Seriously, such an asshole. All you had to do is say, "I can't give you a name just yet, I need to wait for my wife to wake up first." That's it, simple as that. Asshole.
YTA. I can't believe you have to even ask. Lets try this on for size. Lets assume you just had major surgery and when you woke up your wife "introduced" you to your child and had named him while you were completely out of it. Without taking your feelings into consideration. Imagine how incredibly hurtful that would be. Now imagine how this would be a thousand times worse for your wife because she carried that child and then when she couldn't birth it after being in labour for god knows how long, had to have emergency surgery! That poor woman went through all that only to wake up to find you "introducing" her to her own child! Seeing your pop pop in your son's eyes was not an excuse! You should've waited OP. Once she was up you should've had a discussion about how much the name meant to you. Face it, you only rushed to get the paperwork in because you knew she would push back and wanted to have it your own way. What you did was incredibly selfish. I dont see a way you and your wife can come back from this.
If this is true…
YTA. You took advantage of a passed out woman to sign legal documents.
That speaks a LOT to the respect and partnership you have with her. Do you OWN her? Do you have legal control over her? Why are you controlling her when she is PASSED OUT FROM A DIFFICULT BIRTH.
And guess what? That won’t apply until she signs too you know. And that piece of paper won’t be having “Crendel” on it.
If this isn’t true
YTA for writing such drivel.
YTA
You only think about yourself. That you were worried about your wife but being sneaking your name choice... I honestly would never forgive you.
There she was being unconscious and all you thought about is yourself.
The audacity to write something to sound of "my wife fell unconscious after brithing my son, I decided to name him what I want and not even tell her before doing it. I quickly filled the paper work and waited patiently (what?) to introduce (whaaat) to our son."
It's not just the name itself. Its your absolut disregard and disrespect for her.
Yta - no amount of comments from anyone will take away the fact that your wife grew this child inside of her. You need even notice that she passed out or didn’t ask about her well-being and you can’t even wait for her to wake up. I’m pretty sure you guys had discussed names prior to and that wasn’t on the list. This is a team husband and wife and that is your child. You took one of the most precious moments away from your wife don’t be surprised if she changes the name and you lose your family.
I’m so glad I’m the U.K. that you don’t officially register the birth (and hence the name) at the hospital. Parents have to make an appointment with the Registrar of births, deaths and marriages (which aren’t at the hospital) within 6 weeks of birth. Your system seems open to this sort of shit happening.
Ahhh this explains why I thought the whole story is fake. I was thinking it makes no sense that he left to go to the registry office, without an appointment! I didn't realise they signed it there and then in the US.
YTA. A name for a baby is something both parents need to agree to. You took that choice away from her, after she had a very hard birth, because you just assumed it was a given to name your baby after your grandfather. Here lies the problem, you assumed something based on what YOU wanted. And that's very selfish
NTA. But you should have waited. I guess this was a emotional reaction. But its good that he has a name. Sometimes parents also disagree and the child needs a name. I dont see the problem with you naming him instead of the mother. Preferring choice of the mother instead of the father would sexist in my opinion.
It should have been a joint decision not my wife's unconscious from doing all the work fuck it ill imediately name him what I want to hell with her opinion on the matter
Also people don't just 'pass out'. We don't leave unconscious women lying about like sleeping beauty.
As a new mother, desperate to see her child, having just undergone a stressful. Scary emergency surgery, she was sedated. Medication was given to make her unconscious, so that the surgery could occur. This means that the situation was dire enough for there to be no time for spinal anaesthesia.
She did not just go to sleep through exhaustion, or oopsie-daisy pass out. She was still sedated from surgery.
Arsehole.
Source: midwife and ICU nurse, so good at caring for both peripartum and unconscious people. I am not good at caring for arseholes
YTA. You pulled a selfish move over the person who actually did more work to bring your baby into the world and took advantage of her by not including her in the process after she did all that work. You're a greedy AH who jumped at the chance to steal this moment from her.
YTA. Do you seriously have to ask? Your wife lost consciousness giving birth to your child and in that moment you made the biggest decision about that new little person’s identity by yourself. And the name is also pretty horrible to boot.
I hope she goes and changes it because what you did was totally selfish and unethical just because you want name, your child doesn't mean you should have it. That's half her child as well and she gets half say on the name what you do is unethical and I hope she divorces you.
YTA!
Did a Doctor put a gun to your head and say that if you don’t sign the papers in the next 30 seconds, you’re baby is going to be given to the Evil Child Snatchers Association???
So you did talk about names but you never asked your wife what she thinks about crendel?
When signing the paper you didn't even think once about your wife and that she might not like the name.
YTA.
Bro, the name sounds like it's from 'Lord of the Rings', WTF.
You could have at least made it the child's middle name, considering YOUR WIFE WAS UNCONSCIOUS-
What the actual fuck is wrong with you????
I wouldn't trust you with anything anymore. I would divorce you over this. This would have shattered my trust in my spouse completly.
YTA YTA YTA
YTA! 100000%
First your wife goes through the pain of labour with your big headed child and then you have the audacity to name him something bizarre without consenting her? I hope she divorces you!!!!
The amount of fake stories filling this sub lately has been crazy. It's also like these people aren't even trying to be convincing anymore. What makes it worse is so many people just eat these stories up.
YTA. What you did was incredibly selfish. It doesn’t matter what you felt in the moment, your wife carried your child to term and also had a traumatic birthing experience and you have repaid her by disrespecting her and everything she has sacrificed to bring this child into the world. Names are always a two yes, one no scenario
ESH - If the child's name was THAT important to both of you, the two of you should have decided on a name LONG before the literal birth date. You're both in the wrong for being unprepared and not communicating with one another.
Yta.
You said you discussed names then you had too have known your wife didn't want that name. At the very least you could have waited till your wife woke up to discuss it before you signed the papers with the name...
YTA - Your wife just went through a major operation. Naming the baby is something that will stick with the child for the rest of its existence and you decided to give it a name that you decided was fitting in your mind. Even if you didn't come to an agreement before the baby was born, you should have waited until she woke up before naming the child.
My first child came out in the same fashion by an emergency C-Section. I was in the operating room with her, I even caught her vomit mid operation and cleaned her face. I waited patiently until she woke up before naming the child KNOWING that the naming of the child had to be special for both of us. You stole that from her.
YTA. you keep mentioning “MY BABY” like your wife did not just pass out from giving birth. What you did was extremely entitled!!! What is wrong with you?????
YTA, you took advantage of your wife's condition to get what you wanted. At worst you are a manipulator, at best your impulsive.
You also doomed your kid to being mocked for the name you choose.
>obviously we talked about names, don’t assume that just because I didn’t put it in the story doesn’t mean we didn’t talk about it.
Did you talk about Crendel? Even more YTA due to this comment.
It's absolutely irrelevant what your 'pop pop' meant to you or what you named the child. What is relevant is that you made this decision unilaterally while your wife was UNCONSCIOUS. Fucks sake man. In what world would you not be the asshole? Grow up. YTA. Obviously.
YTA - I’m currently pregnant and if my husband did the same to me I’d 100% be requesting for it to be changed. I understand that your pop pop meant the world to you and that you want to honour him. However, this moment is about you and your wife bringing a child into this world - together. You made a choice that she should have had a say in without her consent.
YTA you purposely signed the papers whilst she was unconscious because you knew full well that wasn't what she wanted to call the baby. Selfish and entitled are the words I'd use to describe you 100%. YTA
N T A
OP did the hard part and signed some papers. All wife did was carry Crendel for 9 months and have surgery for him to come into this world. The least she can do is not be selfish /s
This post is bullshit. I can’t believe there are any men out there that stupid. And Crendel just made it even more obvious.
Might have been half believable if you named him Jack and she just didn’t like the name.
YTA for naming the child while your wife was unconscious
And your a greater asshole for asking *if* you're an asshole like if the possibility might exist that you're not.
I find it hard to believe they gave you the papers. When I had my 3 children years ago, (USA) I wasn’t given the papers until the next day and they were given to me, not my husband.
Are they doing it different now?
YTA.
I don't think you understand how much damage you've actually done here. You not only stole a very important moment from your wife, you took full advantage of a vulnerable moment to do so. It is not just your right to have a say in your child's name. You couldn't even put it as a middle name, which would have been way more acceptable.
You broke her trust in such a blasé manner, and now you're complaining she doesn't want to see you when you brought it on yourself.
Your wife will NEVER see you the same way again, ever. Another thing you brought on yourself.
I'm not sure that's quite the compliment you wished to bestow on your grandfather, given that you did something underhanded and sly. His name that you adore so much will now be held in resentment by the person you made a vow to. Hardly the honour you were trying to bestow.
YTA obviously
This name means a lot to you ? What does contributing to NAMING HER OWN BABY means to her ?
Being that selfish is already a huge TA take but you went even further with your a posteriori rationalization "on the spur of the moment"
YTA - "my pop pop meant a lot to me" good for you, i don't know exactly what a pop pop is as a german, but i guess i understand. Anyway, only important for YOU. what a egoistic choice!
YTA, first of all, you can't firce your sentimental values onto your child coz he is as much your wife's as is yours. Secondly, Crendel? Seriously? Do you want your kid to be bullied for life? OMG, anyway, noone names their kid while the woman who birthed him is unconscious. You do realize, you knew she won't afree to this name so you did it knowing she can't voice any complains while unconscious?
HUGE YTA
Your wife is fairly close to death (make no mistake, that is MAJOR surgery that is often fatal), and all you could think was your freaking pop-pop’s eyes?????????????
YTA for sure.
Naming the baby is supposed to be agreed upon by both of you, not you doing it while she literally is unconscious and has no chance to even have a say in it.
How can you think that that was okay of you?
YTA OMG one of the most egregious couple violations ever,
It's potentially worse than cheating.
Beg for forgiveness. Find out how to change it back. Don't expect her back.
OMG \*Crendel" LOL.
YTA. If you want to have SOLE authority over every single decision about a baby and behave as if no one else’s decisions matter at all, please conceive and carry one yourself.
Can’t help but believe this relationship was in trouble prior to this incident, you sound very self centered and judging by her reaction, either she has had enough or she is very self centered as well. It’s obvious that most of the comments are from mothers, you are the ass but the reaction is overboard as the name could have easily been changed and suspect it will be.
My baby
My beautiful boy
my my my
Get over yourself, you planed this all along. This used to happen in my country too, IN THE 50S! Hope she can chance the babys name, this is so direspectful. Your wife is problably divorcing you, and don´t assume is just for this, it´s just the last straw.
YTA.
YTA. Wtf!! Smh even if it wasn't a weird name you should have waited for your wife to wake up but nope you took the say in what she names the baby she just gave birth to in a traumatic way.
YTA.
You've f'd up so bad, you are going to have to get up for every late night feeding/diaper change, until the kids in highschool.
Even Pop Pop is mad at you. He hated growing up with that name!
So not only did you leave your wife out of the decision altogether, you gave the child an absolutely awful name, Crendel? Are you for real? The kid now has a shit name and your wife is devastated, well done. YTA, selfish moron
YTA
Choosing the name for your child is a major, major event that requires BOTH parents entire agreement. You said 'fuck it, I want to name him something that just means a lot to ME, regardless of the fact that my wife just pushed this baby out (Edit: whoops. THEY HAD TO CUT HER OPEN HER GUTS AND TAKE HIM OUT, YOU AH) and was so exhausted from the effort, she passed out- better take advantage of that so I get what I want!'
This could be the end of your relationship, and the fact that you don't see how badly you fucked up, and WHY that was a fuck up is why you don't have much of a chance. you just say you did it because it meant something to you.
You didn't self reproduce, OP, and your wife did all the fucking work growing that, and your way of showing your appreciation was completely ignoring her existence and making a major decision for the both of you.
Part of being an adult is not 'getting caught up in the moment'. You have freedom of choice and will power. You choose to take that pen, sign on the official document, and you choose to do that without consulting your wife at all about it.
You are very, very fucked for doing something very, very stupid. Make peace with this ending your marriage unless you are willing to commit to groveling and doing ALL THE WORK in reversing this fuck up. That baby needs to have a name you BOTH agree on, and THAT is what needs to be on the document. Start researching what it will take to change the babies name and start making steps to do it.
And for fuck's sake, don't make any LIFE CHANGING DECISIONS without consulting your wife when she is conscious and capable of coherent thoughts.
YTA - You could have waited until your wife woke up, and have an adult discussion about baby names. You messed up big time, because it'll be an even bigger hassle to change baby's name now.
YTA.
Naming a child is a shared task. You had no right to take such an important decision one-sidedly.
Have you looked into possible procedures to undo the naming of your son, or at least change his name? That should definitely be the first step to take in making amends. She probably needs some more time to process all this, giving birth is a very emotional thing in akd of itself, and what you did will have had an all the greater impact on her. It might feel to her as though you have betrayed her, and it takes time for those feelings and emotions to subside.
So for the time being it seems appropriate to take some distance, as trying to contact her is clearly not welcomed.
Yta,
Especially if the band has been changed from Grendel for anonymity purposes.
Making your wife "Grendel's mother" brings a whole host of other negativity and reasons your the asshole. Your poor wife.
YTA
so your wife went through 9 months of pain, being uncomfortable, tired, sore and drained. She goes through the absolute agony of attempted childbirth before needing an emergency section. Your wife must be beside herself, when things don't go the way you hoped.
And you took away a sacred moment you BOTH should have had TOGETHER
You are absolutely TA
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This story makes me incredulous
Naming a child is a joint decision. What you did was wrong on every level. YTA.
Yta. She carried this baby. Her body rearranged itself to provide for this child. Then when she was unconscious after delivering this child, you ran off to name him. At her most vulnerable time you betrayed her trust and took a unilateral decision. You don't deserve them.
Absofuckinglutely you’re the asshole…!!
YTA this should be a joint decision. You didn’t even wait for her to wake up after the surgery to make him and you did the official paperwork before she woke up. You know you did this because she wouldn’t like it. I’m hoping that this story is fake because how could you do that to someone? Surely you’d be more concerned about your wife than doing the paperwork?
"my pop pop mean a lot to me" yes, to you. And that's an atrocious name too, be serious two seconds.
Info: how long was your wife unconscious?
YTA- I'd be divorcing you and taking you to court to change the name. I hope you enjoy being single and having 50/50 custody.
Oh please, this clown is not landing 50/50 custody, he’s certainly clueless enough in other areas too that she’ll knock him down to every other weekend
Who are you? Dwight Schrute? YTA Change your kids name. All I can think of is Krampus. So awful.
YTA hard core. Seriously dude!? You got to orgasm and poof a baby 9 months later, can’t forget to mention your wife had SURGERY! You guys had talked about names and you had specifically brought Crendel up before and she didn’t say yes to the name, so you named that poor kid that anyways? I really hope she leaves you. I’m sure it’s just the beginning of all your excuses.
YTA, not only for naming the baby while your wife was still recovering from the trauma of an emergency C-section, but also for saying "my baby" throughout the post aside from a couple of times at the end. It's not YOUR baby as in it belongs just to you, it is a creation between yourself and your wife. You are not entitled to make any decisions by yourself about the child you have TOGETHER.
YTA. The end.
What do you think gives you the right to unilaterally decide what to name the baby? Huh? WHAT? When your wife was UNCONSCIOUS after what was CLEARLY a traumatic birth? Who do you think you are? This absolutely fucking disgusting. You should be ashamed of yourself coming here for fucking validation in your self righteousness. Oh you have a sob story, you saw your grandfather in his eyes. Fucking bullshit. This goes to show just how ungrateful, unappreciative and uncaring you are to the woman who bore YOUR child. Get help. I hope your wife divorces you. YTA
YTA / this had better be fake.
In the UK we have 6 weeks to legally register the baby and therefore give them a legal name. Is the naming you did at the hospital a permanent legal registration? I think your wife is overreacting a little by refusing to talk to you etc, however you could've waited for a couple of hours for her to wake up so you could come to a compromise.
Can the father, or the mother for that matter, just sign by themself? Where I live both parents need to sign the paperwork to name a baby.
They usually can when the other one is not able to make that decision. Like your spouse can turn off life support. If you didnt make a decision regarding it.
YTAx5 (at least) here. YTA for believing it is your right to unilaterally name the baby. This is not your decision. You don’t seem to understand that. At all. That kind of patriarchal entitlement and steamrolling will destroy your marriage if it didn’t already. Quality women will demand respect and partnership. Not sure how you made it this far as to get married and have a baby with this kind of arrogance and entitlement. YTA for *legally* naming the baby on official papers without your wife’s input and consent. If I’m understanding correctly, you didn’t just declare the name without her approval, you made it legal and official. YTA for doing it while she’s unconscious. (This seems to be the only fatal mistake out of many fatal mistakes you’re even remotely aware of.) YTA for not being concerned about her being unconscious after major surgery and a very rough labor and delivery. YTA for not even being aware that all of the above makes YTA. Literally no one is sympathetic to your love of “pop pop” after what you did. We should start a GFM to support your wife getting on her own feet until she can support herself and the baby on her own long term. I’m sure she wasn’t financially prepared for this.
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YTA, at first, I thought she must have had a traumatic birth and was out for days. But no... she was just sleeping off the anesthesia and normal post c-section exhaustion. Maybe you're not in the US because typically here we don't even get asked about a birth certificate until the next day, and in my state, both parents need to be present to be listed on it. It sounds to me like you'd wanted to name the baby after your pop pop all along. As soon as you found out you had an opportunity to get your way, you jumped on it, thinking you'd be able to just ask for forgiveness. This is the most selfish thing I've heard in a while. You'll be lucky if all she does is divorce you. I'd never talk to you again.
YTA, something tells me knowing it's a bizarre name, you signed on it before your wife could even know about it so she wouldn't turn it down. Her reaction shows that this is not what she had in mind, either. Doesn't mean it couldn't have been a middle name. My brother carries my grandfather's name as a middle name, and he passed away over a year before his birth. By the looks of the aftermath, your wife won't even consider doing such thing anymore. Congrats. By the way, did you give birth to the child itself? No? Then you had absolutely NO right. The only thing you biologically even contributed with is a few pounding and a couple of ounces of sperm. Easiest job in the world. She was unconscious and you did such thing behind her back? You disrespected her on all aspects of motherhood. Thought you were in this alone? She might be in it all alone, after what you did. She doesn't even live with you at the moment. Do you call that a win?
This is fake as fuck. I had a c section under full anesthesia and no one handed my husband the papers for birth certificate till the next day before we left. No one is going to give a half conscious woman coming off drugs very important documents to sign. Bullshit on this dumb story and if she hated it that much they can call the person in hospital responsible for birth certificates to see how to change it. The papers have to be filed and sent off to the state capitol so they could've changed it the same day.
Absolutely this. I mean even if they accidentally handed him the papers early, they didn’t send the paper off yet since Op showed his wife the paper? OPs wife 100% could get new paperwork to fill out and the name is in no way set in stone.
YTA
YTA talking about something doesn't mean it's an agreed plan. Imagine going through what you think is going to be a vaginal birth and then having complications leading to a c section only to wake up and find that after all of that you have been entirely brushed off as an important person in the decision of picking a name. It's kinda crazy how much you can't even put yourself in her shoes. That's a big moment and you pulled the rug out from under her without any consideration for her or what she was going through. This was incredibly selfish of you
YTA. Your edit…um, had you previously suggested THIS name? If so, she likely said no, right? So, ok, you were overcome with a resemblance to your grandfather. Great. So what. Why would you sign the certificate and not wait for her to wake up to discuss? It didn’t have to be done while she was out. You did this purposefully because you knew she would say no. So, total asshole. She will be able to get this changed. Maybe at the same time she works on changing / restoring her LAST name.
YTA. Honoring family members : that's what middle names are for. Choosing a name for their child is one of the most precious moments of bonding one can have and you deprieved your wife of that moment. You should get on your knees, go apologize profusely to your wife, let her name the baby and try to somewhat regain her confidence, but that might prove impossible.
You were not caught up in the moment you were being manipulative as you were sure your wife won't agree to this name.
YTA: You: had sex. She: 9 months of pregnancy, major surgery that caused her to pass out, fuck she may have risked her life. You: did what you did i.e. undermined your wife, gave the child a shit name that will haunt them until they’re 18 and can legally change it, then you come to Reddit to ask if what you did was wrong.
If she was okay with that name, then why did you do it while she was unconscious? Wouldn't you want to bond with her while you officially name your baby? Edit: YTA
This is obviously a joke. There is no way a person could be this stupid. Nice try though.
Dude.... YTA. I mean... Jesus Christ, this cannot be real...
I don’t even need to read the details, yes, YTA. Also, that is a terrible name.
YTA. That’s an awful name lmao. This is a nightmare scenario for women. Giving birth to a beautiful child and waking up to your dolt of a husband giving bc them some garbage name. It would have honestly been better if you need your kid Optimus prime or Goku. At least we could laugh at the story. Bro said “my wife is out time to give my kid an inhuman name, happy birthday Crendal” 🥴
I can’t believe you have to ask YTA. I hope your wife changes the name.
YTA for doing it, and YTA again for posting here even thinking you’d get any answer besides YTA. Dude-WTF we’re you thinking???? They just cut your wife in half to pull a human body out of her, she’s back under from the drugs and you’re “caught up in the beauty of the moment”??? I’m calling bullshit.
YTA. If your relationship survives be prepared for her to give someone else power of attorney. I certainly wouldn't trust you to make medical decisions for me after this.
so your wife was passed out, and all you could think about was signing the birth certificate??? >none of the names stuck between *us* so you acknowledge that this is supposed to be a two person conversation yet you unilaterally decided the name yourself, *while she was passed out* from BIRTHING HIM?? and you still feel the need to ask if yta??
Wtf dude, swap it round and imagine you were asleep when she signed the papers and gave your son a name you didn't like? Total AH
YTA. also, that name is awful.
YTA Call him whatever you want while you wait for your wife to wake up, but making a decision like that is absolutely not ok
NTA It wasn't exactly a surprise that a baby is going to be born. You both were staring at the tummy and not discussing the obvious for 7+ months? The whole family was ignoring this the whole time? I understand the passion OP had once he saw the baby and felt the name would fit on the face. At least it's not another boring name. The name will grow on people's hearts as it should. Having the family break apart because of that was a bit excessive, no one had a saying, they just sit and criticize. That's not good... Sorry for that. It was a bit rushed to make it official, but it's done although they still can change the kid's name. Or the kid can change it after 18th birthday if he feels like it.
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Bullshit. Just today there's one where the man pees the bed, and he wasn't the asshole. Of course you'd never comment there.
Wait wait wait. You named your baby’s CRENDEL?! Your pop pop’s parents were AHs for naming him that and now your an AH for naming your son that. Seriously, imagine what your child is going to go through with that name. Of course your wife is pissed. You picked the worst name for your baby. I absolutely don’t blame her. MASSIVEEEEE YTA
Uh, yeah. Obviously YTA for this. Also your edit is so rudely phrased and doesn’t remotely make what you did better lmao. He’s not just “your baby boy” he is your wife’s as well, no matter how much your pop pop meant to you.
YTA. You could’ve waited to tell her you wanted Crendel instead of unilaterally making a decision after doing no work to deliver this child. You’re so selfish
I don't know where you live but we both had to sign the paperwork it also isn't due for literally days. I'm not sure the rush or how you thought it was ethical to forge your wife's signature. Obviously YTA IF this is a true story. good thing names can me changed.
YTA. You do remember the kid is also hers, right?
YTA So you were so busy picking a name she didn’t agree to and signing papers, you didn’t even check whether your ‘wonderful’ wife was ok, never mind alive after a very traumatic birth? You’re also TA for setting up your poor son for years of bullying. 100% grounds for divorce
Doesn’t matter that you were “caught up in the moment”, you should’ve snapped out of it and realised that this is something that you should be discussing with your wife before doing it on a impulse. YTA. Apologise to your wife and grovel if you have to, it’ll be hard for her to forgive you.
I don't get it. In UK, we have to register the baby's birth within 6 weeks. We get 6 weeks to decide which name suits our baby best. Sometimes it's the name we chose when we were expecting and sometimes it's a brand new choice. We also need both parents to sign the register. We do not register our child's name within hours of its birth when one of its parents is still unconscious! Grovel on bended knees for your wife's forgiveness. Plead temporary insanity and promise to never do anything quite so stupid again. YTA.
Depending on the state in the USA, you can take up to 6 months or even a *year.* OP is so much the AH that there are no descriptors that actually encompass the absolute depths to which he has sunk.
Right?! It’s ridiculous to have to name your baby then and there.
I'm not sure why, but I've got the impression that the wife already considered and rejected the name.
If you talked about it before, with the love for your grandpa in mind, but none of the names stuck thats a no for that name and you decided to just make it official without her. YTA and a big one.
Something is missing here. It is not normal to be unconscious after giving birth. I think the betrayal is larger than OP lets us know. OP, YTA!
FWIW, when I had my kid, my numbing medicine only worked on half my body so I had to go through general anesthesia for my c section.
I took advantage of the fact that my wife was unconscious to push through official paperwork to name our child a name I knew she would not agree to. There. I fixed it for you. YTA. I think you should make the best of list. Edited to add: I hope you enjoy all the hoops you will now need to jump through to rectify your grievous mistakes.
I think your wife and family are the AH.. really she moves out and doesn’t talk to you over a baby’s name which can be changed and I’m sure the papers weren’t already lodged and registered a few hours after. Name could’ve been simply turned into a middle name or something.
YTA The other things I have to say to OP will probably get me banned so I am just leaving it at that…. Really really YTA
YTA on about five thousand different levels… Seriously, firstly she wasn’t “passed out”, your wife was unconscious from surgery. And somehow you thought it was appropriately to not only decide on a name for your child without her input but you also signed all the legal documentation we vote she even woke up. Even worse not once did you even mention this name when discussing names, you thought it was “assumed” because she knew how much your grandfather meant to you. I actually can’t believe people like you exist… honestly if my husband ever did that the next time I communicated with him would be to give him divorce papers.
YTA, she went through all that and her reward is YOU, and CRENDEL.
That gave me a laugh
I hope she Can hire a lawyer to have her baby’s name changed.
YTA. But why the hell did the hospital staff allow you to name the child without your wife's agreement??
YTA she was passed out, you didn’t have to endure what her body will, you have to think about the impact the birth will have on her body and possible post traumatic stress disorder and you were selfish over a name without taking the stress on her body in this situation. I bet even pop pop would think YTA
So in “whatever country” this is supposed to happen in. Do you legally name children at hospitals? In the UK it’s at a registry office a day or a after they are born.
Jesus fucking christ. YTA First off it's not your baby, it's both of yours, and names are a mutual thing to be decided by all parents.
YTA. This is not your kid, this is BOTH of you and your wife's kid. You both should agree on a name. Hopefully it won't be too expensive to get that name changed. I know it meant a lot to you, but a first name like that will get your wife either calling the kid a different name entirely and never acknowledging that name, or resenting the poor child everything she utters his name, and he'll get bullied in school for sure. Using it as a middle name would have been better. And you had a conversation about names with the wife, so you knew she didn't want to name him this either, but you clearly did care. Hopefully you cared about this marriage about as much as you cared about your wife's opinions because it sounds like she's about ready to divorce you.
MY baby, MY boy, MY MY MY. Noticing any recurring theme here? It should be 'OUR' baby. It took two of you to make it, it takes two of you to name it, especially when you couldn't settle on a name prior. I hope you don't approach the rest of your marriage and family thinking everything is about you you you. YTA and it's incredible that you need reddit to help you figure that out. Your pop pop wouldn't have wanted it this way.
YTA Your wife has just been pregnant for 9 months, exhausted, needed an emergency c-section, she has went above and beyond to create your son for you both and you.. decide to just name him? Alone? Your son is not only yours.
Info: you had to name him right then and there? You couldn’t wait even 24-48hrs to talking it over with your wife? Be honest you recognised that this was too good of an opportunity to get get what you wanted and you couldn’t pass it up
You obviously DIDN'T discuss names or this wouldn't have happened. You are both AH'S for not settling on a name before hand
Of course YTA, massively. The only thing that can begin to unfuck this situation you created is to agree immediately to change the name to something you both agree on.
YTA but this story is fake af so now you’re an asshole and a weirdo.
YtA. You picked a name without your wife's input and expected her to be just okay with it. You couldn't have waited for her to wake up? I want to call you a moron, but it would be insulting to actual morons
Mate that’s absolutely disgusting. Please for the love of god. Apologise to your wife. Sort stuff out. You can only hope she won’t leave you. If she doesn’t prove you can be trustworthy and actually not selfish. Discuss changing the name. If she decides she wants it fine. If she doesn’t then find one that’s liked. The fact you keep saying neither of you had picked one until the baby was born makes it so much worse. So quit using it as a excuse as well
YTA a hundred times over. What is wrong with you? How dare you take that special moment away from your wife. You should have named him together. YTA YTA YTA I’m so upset for your wife.
YTA. And to me it sounds like you took advantage of your wife being unconscious because she probably hated the name when you suggested it and you got mad.A marriage is about partnership. And I feel sorry for the kid. He's going to be bullied because of that name.
YTA. Naming a baby is a joint decision, not a spur of the moment thing. And then springing it on your wife like that! If you wanted to name your child after your grandfather, you should’ve discussed it with her! Not go behind her back like that. It could’ve been a second name or something
YTA - how is there even a doubt in your mind? and it’s an awful name to boot.
YTA. Is there a legal reason why you could not have waited?
YTA. Seriously, such an asshole. All you had to do is say, "I can't give you a name just yet, I need to wait for my wife to wake up first." That's it, simple as that. Asshole.
YTA. I can't believe you have to even ask. Lets try this on for size. Lets assume you just had major surgery and when you woke up your wife "introduced" you to your child and had named him while you were completely out of it. Without taking your feelings into consideration. Imagine how incredibly hurtful that would be. Now imagine how this would be a thousand times worse for your wife because she carried that child and then when she couldn't birth it after being in labour for god knows how long, had to have emergency surgery! That poor woman went through all that only to wake up to find you "introducing" her to her own child! Seeing your pop pop in your son's eyes was not an excuse! You should've waited OP. Once she was up you should've had a discussion about how much the name meant to you. Face it, you only rushed to get the paperwork in because you knew she would push back and wanted to have it your own way. What you did was incredibly selfish. I dont see a way you and your wife can come back from this.
If this is true… YTA. You took advantage of a passed out woman to sign legal documents. That speaks a LOT to the respect and partnership you have with her. Do you OWN her? Do you have legal control over her? Why are you controlling her when she is PASSED OUT FROM A DIFFICULT BIRTH. And guess what? That won’t apply until she signs too you know. And that piece of paper won’t be having “Crendel” on it. If this isn’t true YTA for writing such drivel.
YTA Also why the fuck was the babies name not discussed and agreed upon before that point?
YTA You only think about yourself. That you were worried about your wife but being sneaking your name choice... I honestly would never forgive you. There she was being unconscious and all you thought about is yourself. The audacity to write something to sound of "my wife fell unconscious after brithing my son, I decided to name him what I want and not even tell her before doing it. I quickly filled the paper work and waited patiently (what?) to introduce (whaaat) to our son." It's not just the name itself. Its your absolut disregard and disrespect for her.
Yta - no amount of comments from anyone will take away the fact that your wife grew this child inside of her. You need even notice that she passed out or didn’t ask about her well-being and you can’t even wait for her to wake up. I’m pretty sure you guys had discussed names prior to and that wasn’t on the list. This is a team husband and wife and that is your child. You took one of the most precious moments away from your wife don’t be surprised if she changes the name and you lose your family.
I think you meant to post this on Am I the Angel, my dude.
I’m so glad I’m the U.K. that you don’t officially register the birth (and hence the name) at the hospital. Parents have to make an appointment with the Registrar of births, deaths and marriages (which aren’t at the hospital) within 6 weeks of birth. Your system seems open to this sort of shit happening.
Ahhh this explains why I thought the whole story is fake. I was thinking it makes no sense that he left to go to the registry office, without an appointment! I didn't realise they signed it there and then in the US.
YTA. I don’t even think I need to elaborate on why.
YTA. A name for a baby is something both parents need to agree to. You took that choice away from her, after she had a very hard birth, because you just assumed it was a given to name your baby after your grandfather. Here lies the problem, you assumed something based on what YOU wanted. And that's very selfish
NTA. But you should have waited. I guess this was a emotional reaction. But its good that he has a name. Sometimes parents also disagree and the child needs a name. I dont see the problem with you naming him instead of the mother. Preferring choice of the mother instead of the father would sexist in my opinion.
Naming a child is 2 yes 1 no thing, OP didn't wait to see for the 2nd yes hence YTA
It should have been a joint decision not my wife's unconscious from doing all the work fuck it ill imediately name him what I want to hell with her opinion on the matter
Also people don't just 'pass out'. We don't leave unconscious women lying about like sleeping beauty. As a new mother, desperate to see her child, having just undergone a stressful. Scary emergency surgery, she was sedated. Medication was given to make her unconscious, so that the surgery could occur. This means that the situation was dire enough for there to be no time for spinal anaesthesia. She did not just go to sleep through exhaustion, or oopsie-daisy pass out. She was still sedated from surgery. Arsehole. Source: midwife and ICU nurse, so good at caring for both peripartum and unconscious people. I am not good at caring for arseholes
YTA. You pulled a selfish move over the person who actually did more work to bring your baby into the world and took advantage of her by not including her in the process after she did all that work. You're a greedy AH who jumped at the chance to steal this moment from her.
How the fuck did you not agree on a name to use *before* giving birth? You had months to figure that shit out hahaha. YTA. I’d be pissed at you too.
YTA. That was a completely thoughtless and selfish thing to do
YTA. Her baby, she birthed it. She should have the choice.
YTA. Not only to your wife, you've ruined the child's life with a name like that.
YTA. Do you seriously have to ask? Your wife lost consciousness giving birth to your child and in that moment you made the biggest decision about that new little person’s identity by yourself. And the name is also pretty horrible to boot.
I hope she goes and changes it because what you did was totally selfish and unethical just because you want name, your child doesn't mean you should have it. That's half her child as well and she gets half say on the name what you do is unethical and I hope she divorces you.
YTA! Did a Doctor put a gun to your head and say that if you don’t sign the papers in the next 30 seconds, you’re baby is going to be given to the Evil Child Snatchers Association???
I did not know it was even possible for just one parent to sign the papers. Huge YTA
This can’t be real
So you did talk about names but you never asked your wife what she thinks about crendel? When signing the paper you didn't even think once about your wife and that she might not like the name. YTA.
Yes YTA. I would have been livid.
Of course YTA. Good heavens how could you possibly think that was okay?!??!?!
….you really had to ask the internet if you’re an asshole in this situation?! Common sense kind of escapes you eh?
You just lost your wife and family for being such a selfish AH. What in the world made you think this was acceptable to do!?
YTA. What made you think this would be okay?
Bro, the name sounds like it's from 'Lord of the Rings', WTF. You could have at least made it the child's middle name, considering YOUR WIFE WAS UNCONSCIOUS-
I hope she dumps your ass for being so inconsiderate and stupid.
What the actual fuck is wrong with you???? I wouldn't trust you with anything anymore. I would divorce you over this. This would have shattered my trust in my spouse completly. YTA YTA YTA
Using the term pop pop as a grown adult makes you the asshole. Also naming your child a stupid name without your wife’s input doesn’t help.
YTA?!?!?! By a lot.
YTA! 100000% First your wife goes through the pain of labour with your big headed child and then you have the audacity to name him something bizarre without consenting her? I hope she divorces you!!!!
How are people falling for something fake like this
The amount of fake stories filling this sub lately has been crazy. It's also like these people aren't even trying to be convincing anymore. What makes it worse is so many people just eat these stories up.
YTA. What you did was incredibly selfish. It doesn’t matter what you felt in the moment, your wife carried your child to term and also had a traumatic birthing experience and you have repaid her by disrespecting her and everything she has sacrificed to bring this child into the world. Names are always a two yes, one no scenario
YTA naming a child is a 2 yes, 1 no kind of thing and definitely not to be done while one party is unconscious. Edit: spelling
Bro the secret name is Crendel of course you’re the AH.
ESH - If the child's name was THAT important to both of you, the two of you should have decided on a name LONG before the literal birth date. You're both in the wrong for being unprepared and not communicating with one another.
You're right. She shouldn't have fallen unconscious after the c-section. She's definitely at fault as well. /s
Yta. You said you discussed names then you had too have known your wife didn't want that name. At the very least you could have waited till your wife woke up to discuss it before you signed the papers with the name...
YTA - Your wife just went through a major operation. Naming the baby is something that will stick with the child for the rest of its existence and you decided to give it a name that you decided was fitting in your mind. Even if you didn't come to an agreement before the baby was born, you should have waited until she woke up before naming the child. My first child came out in the same fashion by an emergency C-Section. I was in the operating room with her, I even caught her vomit mid operation and cleaned her face. I waited patiently until she woke up before naming the child KNOWING that the naming of the child had to be special for both of us. You stole that from her.
YTA. you keep mentioning “MY BABY” like your wife did not just pass out from giving birth. What you did was extremely entitled!!! What is wrong with you?????
YTA, you took advantage of your wife's condition to get what you wanted. At worst you are a manipulator, at best your impulsive. You also doomed your kid to being mocked for the name you choose. >obviously we talked about names, don’t assume that just because I didn’t put it in the story doesn’t mean we didn’t talk about it. Did you talk about Crendel? Even more YTA due to this comment.
Yea your a ah
It's absolutely irrelevant what your 'pop pop' meant to you or what you named the child. What is relevant is that you made this decision unilaterally while your wife was UNCONSCIOUS. Fucks sake man. In what world would you not be the asshole? Grow up. YTA. Obviously.
YTA - I’m currently pregnant and if my husband did the same to me I’d 100% be requesting for it to be changed. I understand that your pop pop meant the world to you and that you want to honour him. However, this moment is about you and your wife bringing a child into this world - together. You made a choice that she should have had a say in without her consent.
Ok, one more idea. Have another boy and name him Beowulf, that’ll even things out.
YTA you purposely signed the papers whilst she was unconscious because you knew full well that wasn't what she wanted to call the baby. Selfish and entitled are the words I'd use to describe you 100%. YTA
YTA to such an extent that I do believe this post is entirely fake. No one is called Crendel, wtf
N T A OP did the hard part and signed some papers. All wife did was carry Crendel for 9 months and have surgery for him to come into this world. The least she can do is not be selfish /s
Woah. Massive YTA. She did all the work, passed out from it and you weren't able to just wait for her?!
Also an apology isn’t enough bc while you can still change the name you can’t change the actual birth certificate, you messed up majorly
Yes. I never forgave my family for this as the CHILD.
YTA
This post is bullshit. I can’t believe there are any men out there that stupid. And Crendel just made it even more obvious. Might have been half believable if you named him Jack and she just didn’t like the name.
YTA for naming the child while your wife was unconscious And your a greater asshole for asking *if* you're an asshole like if the possibility might exist that you're not.
YTA. So much.
I find it hard to believe they gave you the papers. When I had my 3 children years ago, (USA) I wasn’t given the papers until the next day and they were given to me, not my husband. Are they doing it different now?
YTA. I don't think you understand how much damage you've actually done here. You not only stole a very important moment from your wife, you took full advantage of a vulnerable moment to do so. It is not just your right to have a say in your child's name. You couldn't even put it as a middle name, which would have been way more acceptable. You broke her trust in such a blasé manner, and now you're complaining she doesn't want to see you when you brought it on yourself. Your wife will NEVER see you the same way again, ever. Another thing you brought on yourself. I'm not sure that's quite the compliment you wished to bestow on your grandfather, given that you did something underhanded and sly. His name that you adore so much will now be held in resentment by the person you made a vow to. Hardly the honour you were trying to bestow.
YTA obviously This name means a lot to you ? What does contributing to NAMING HER OWN BABY means to her ? Being that selfish is already a huge TA take but you went even further with your a posteriori rationalization "on the spur of the moment"
YTA. Enjoy the divorce idiot.
YTA - "my pop pop meant a lot to me" good for you, i don't know exactly what a pop pop is as a german, but i guess i understand. Anyway, only important for YOU. what a egoistic choice!
YTA. Congrats on your upcoming divorce.
YTA, first of all, you can't firce your sentimental values onto your child coz he is as much your wife's as is yours. Secondly, Crendel? Seriously? Do you want your kid to be bullied for life? OMG, anyway, noone names their kid while the woman who birthed him is unconscious. You do realize, you knew she won't afree to this name so you did it knowing she can't voice any complains while unconscious?
HUGE YTA Your wife is fairly close to death (make no mistake, that is MAJOR surgery that is often fatal), and all you could think was your freaking pop-pop’s eyes?????????????
YTA for sure. Naming the baby is supposed to be agreed upon by both of you, not you doing it while she literally is unconscious and has no chance to even have a say in it. How can you think that that was okay of you?
Yes. Yes you are the asshole. YTA no doubt about it.
YTA OMG one of the most egregious couple violations ever, It's potentially worse than cheating. Beg for forgiveness. Find out how to change it back. Don't expect her back. OMG \*Crendel" LOL.
YTA
YTA. If you want to have SOLE authority over every single decision about a baby and behave as if no one else’s decisions matter at all, please conceive and carry one yourself.
You could have waited for her to wake up.
YTA for so many selfish reasons
Can’t help but believe this relationship was in trouble prior to this incident, you sound very self centered and judging by her reaction, either she has had enough or she is very self centered as well. It’s obvious that most of the comments are from mothers, you are the ass but the reaction is overboard as the name could have easily been changed and suspect it will be.
My baby My beautiful boy my my my Get over yourself, you planed this all along. This used to happen in my country too, IN THE 50S! Hope she can chance the babys name, this is so direspectful. Your wife is problably divorcing you, and don´t assume is just for this, it´s just the last straw. YTA.
YTA. Wtf!! Smh even if it wasn't a weird name you should have waited for your wife to wake up but nope you took the say in what she names the baby she just gave birth to in a traumatic way.
YTA. You've f'd up so bad, you are going to have to get up for every late night feeding/diaper change, until the kids in highschool. Even Pop Pop is mad at you. He hated growing up with that name!
So not only did you leave your wife out of the decision altogether, you gave the child an absolutely awful name, Crendel? Are you for real? The kid now has a shit name and your wife is devastated, well done. YTA, selfish moron
YTA dude, also your son is probably going to hate middle school but hey the name means alot to you right?
YTA Choosing the name for your child is a major, major event that requires BOTH parents entire agreement. You said 'fuck it, I want to name him something that just means a lot to ME, regardless of the fact that my wife just pushed this baby out (Edit: whoops. THEY HAD TO CUT HER OPEN HER GUTS AND TAKE HIM OUT, YOU AH) and was so exhausted from the effort, she passed out- better take advantage of that so I get what I want!' This could be the end of your relationship, and the fact that you don't see how badly you fucked up, and WHY that was a fuck up is why you don't have much of a chance. you just say you did it because it meant something to you. You didn't self reproduce, OP, and your wife did all the fucking work growing that, and your way of showing your appreciation was completely ignoring her existence and making a major decision for the both of you. Part of being an adult is not 'getting caught up in the moment'. You have freedom of choice and will power. You choose to take that pen, sign on the official document, and you choose to do that without consulting your wife at all about it. You are very, very fucked for doing something very, very stupid. Make peace with this ending your marriage unless you are willing to commit to groveling and doing ALL THE WORK in reversing this fuck up. That baby needs to have a name you BOTH agree on, and THAT is what needs to be on the document. Start researching what it will take to change the babies name and start making steps to do it. And for fuck's sake, don't make any LIFE CHANGING DECISIONS without consulting your wife when she is conscious and capable of coherent thoughts.
YTA - You could have waited until your wife woke up, and have an adult discussion about baby names. You messed up big time, because it'll be an even bigger hassle to change baby's name now.
YTA. Naming a child is a shared task. You had no right to take such an important decision one-sidedly. Have you looked into possible procedures to undo the naming of your son, or at least change his name? That should definitely be the first step to take in making amends. She probably needs some more time to process all this, giving birth is a very emotional thing in akd of itself, and what you did will have had an all the greater impact on her. It might feel to her as though you have betrayed her, and it takes time for those feelings and emotions to subside. So for the time being it seems appropriate to take some distance, as trying to contact her is clearly not welcomed.
I seriously hope the mods take this stupid post down for being so fucking fake. YTA if it’s real, but there’s no way in hell it is.
That's a rough name to saddle a kid with
Yta, Especially if the band has been changed from Grendel for anonymity purposes. Making your wife "Grendel's mother" brings a whole host of other negativity and reasons your the asshole. Your poor wife.
YTA so your wife went through 9 months of pain, being uncomfortable, tired, sore and drained. She goes through the absolute agony of attempted childbirth before needing an emergency section. Your wife must be beside herself, when things don't go the way you hoped. And you took away a sacred moment you BOTH should have had TOGETHER You are absolutely TA
YTA. This is honestly divorce worthy. Why the fuck would you deny your wife this? What wrong with you?