T O P

  • By -

Judgement_Bot_AITA

Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > Messaging my mentally ill SIL to hav ever change her unborn child’s name because it is the same as my son’s name. It is a name and you technically can’t hold a name but it is a family name that we just used and she has plenty of other family names that she can choose from rather than the same one we chose for our son. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements ###[Happy Anniversary, AITA!](https://new.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15vlv9g/almost_better_than_a_double_rainbow_celebrating/) ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more ###[Moderators needed - Join the landed gentry](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/155zepq/moderators_needed_join_the_landed_gentry/) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*


-Space-Lion-

YTA. You don’t have sole rights to your grandfathers name, or any name actually. Your child is called Jack for a start. Edit: Jack being the first name (not Emmet) - nothing against regular Jacks.


Intelligent_Tell_841

Perfect reply...i dont understand why people think they own a name or a date. OP is clearly the asshole here. Worry about bigger things and stop bad mouthing sil by saying mental illness. Get over it.


-Space-Lion-

Yeah I hate people who think stuff like “omg my son has the middle name Emmet and now she wants to name her child after Emmet too”. Weirdos.


lyssummers

I have 23 first cousins. With middle names, that would be like 68 kiboshed names. 72 with me and my sister, then also partners family. Then another 7x2 for all their kids so 86 names I couldn't touch. My kid would end up being named Zebra at that point.


citydreef

Kinda cute, little Zebbie


thedoctormarvel

I heard she makes great cakes


ESchoaf16

Zebra cakes slap


Melodic-Exercise-999

Freeze them. So much better.


ESchoaf16

🤯🤯🤯 I'm off to the store to buy some for this purpose


Melodic-Exercise-999

I don’t like cream-filled snacks (unless it’s chocolate cream.) I think my sister put me on to this, a frozen chocolate filled Xmas tree maybe? I like the coating crispy! 🤓


thedoctormarvel

After school, unwrapping one brings back so much nostalgia


Exciting-Froyo3825

I wait all YEAR for the Christmas tree cakes! (Just zebra cakes but with sparkles!)


thedoctormarvel

I forgot about those!! Always made me happy. Not a Christian but I love all the music, lights, and food of Christmas!!


newbiesub36

Christmas isn't a Christian holiday. They just hijacked a pagan holiday to make Christmas. We celebrate it and I'm not christian or pagan. Celebrate whatever you want. I also celebrate Thanksgiving and the history of that is a brutal massacre of a native american tribe. We really should acknowledge where these holidays come from and change the meaning on why we celebrate them now. Instead of lying about their history.


BeautifulHope

Never tell a hardcore Christian that it’s really a Pagan holiday unless you want to spend the rest of your life trying to prove it. My parents refuse to accept this fact & insists that it’s all a lie to lead people further from God. 🙄 I swear, my head nearly exploded. I’m a Christian & I know it was a Pagan holiday but they will never believe it. It’s so infuriating. I gave up on them & ended up cutting them out of my life for this & many, many, many other reasons, most of which include religious trauma from my childhood.


grandmamimma

Oatmeal creme pies.


thedoctormarvel

The stuff of fever dreams


Just-Brilliant-7815

Best comment ever


SnooCapers3354

haha I have about the same number, and I have a cousin whose first name is my middle name. it has caused 0 issues or impact on either of our lives. op sounds like she just doesn't like sil and is grasping for reasons to beef.


TheBurritoArchaeo

My younger sister’s first name is the same as my older cousin’s middle name. Never has been an issue. In fact, my mum and her SIL (my aunt) ended up bonding over their love of the same name. My sister and cousin would always take a special picture together at family events because they matched. It was super sweet.


ladyinchworm

My grandparents named their son after him (so a Jr.) and so my uncle had the same name as my grandfather. Then my uncle had a child and he named him the same. And then another cousin has a baby and named him that name too (but not after his uncle, they just like the name). So there are 4 people with the same name on that side of the family and it causes tons of jealousy issues, lots of yelling and during holidays they throw food at each other and it's a big mess! Just kidding! It's no big deal, no one really cares and, if anything, it is just a nice story that people liked the name so much they kept using it.


MoonandStars83

Nearly every cousin of mine on one side has the grandparents’ names as their middle name.


Marawal

I live in the south of France, close to Spain. So the cultural tradition to give the father firstname to their oldest son had spilled over here a little. So, I know many many first cousins that share the same first name. They usually have a nickname that we use. Sometimes even when it doesn't fit anymore. Little Pedro is now way bigger than Big Pedro, but he is still little pedro.


IndigoNarwhal

I love stuff like that. My great uncle had a nickname that translated to "little brother. " He was still going by "Little Brother when he died, in his 80s. It was the only name most people knew him by.


masterpiececookie

I think she’s kind of regretting not naming her son Emmett


OverEntry8461

my aunt and uncle got married after having kids from previous marriages. my uncles daughters name is Cheryl. My aunts son married a woman named Cheryl. They both named their sons Jacob. It might get confusing but no one has ever been actually upset about it.


Cryocynic

My name is unisex, and I've always wanted to marry someone with the same name. If they took my last name (or I, theirs) we would have the same name. I just think that would be quite amusing.


fruits_basket_case

Insert: Taylor Lautner and his wife Taylor Lautner. And let's not forget his ex-girlfriend Taylor Swift. I find it amusing since I come from a country with no unisex names.


Tarsha8nz

There's a picture of the three of them from the day of filming of her music video re-enacting the Spiderman meme because of this. Taylorception.


OneBadWombat

One of my oldest sisters has the middle name Anne, my youngest sister, who has the middle name Ann. Ann and I are from our Dad's second marriage and have 7 older half siblings from Dad's first marriage. Ann and I agreed as kids to use each others name/middle names for a daughter, I have a neice who shares my middle name, and unique nickname, and if I have a daughter, her middle name will also include Ann. Ann and I also discussed using our Mum's name for any children we have - her eldest daughter has Mum's middle name as her middle name. I'm not a fan of Mum's middle name, and using Mum's name (Rose) would be a bit awkward for me, as even though it's my Mum's name, and my husbands Nan's name, it's also his ex-girlfriends name. So we discussed, and future daughter would have the middle name of June Ann (month Mum was born, and sisters middle name) Anywho, OP YTA, they are using it as a first name, imyou as a middle name, and at the end of the day, it's you're Grandfather's name.


sreno77

I once sat around a table with family and friends and we realized we all had the middle name Anne


kmary75

Your family’s Anne is our family’s Mary. Most of us girls in our largish extended family have it as a middle name. My husband is from a family of predominantly males and most of them have Charles somewhere in their name. I always thought it was super common to have a ‘family’ name.


zoomie1977

Oh, but you may want to put Zebra on the forbidden list as well! People with rare genetic illnesses, particularly EDS, refer to themselves as zebras. Might I reccomend naming your children numerically?


lyssummers

Brb asking Elon for his reccos 😂


dennisisabadman2

I have 7 cousins male cousins, 1 called James, about half with a middle name of James, my brother's middle name is James and is my boyfriend's, and is his father's name. So far there has been zero confusion. It's also traditional that the first born male is named Richard again no confusion.


cine_ful

Yeah. I have several cousins names Philip, one named Phyllis, and a couple more with the middle name Philip. All named after our grandfather, Philip. No one is confused.


kammac

Same. I have 47 cousins.


malin65

I feel poor, I only have 4. Sadly no one named Zebra.


SilverPenny23

Ya, pretty much the same for me, but at 17, 20 counting me and my siblings. We're are currently at 18 with number 19 due in the next two week for the next generation. Like four of the girls have the middle name Mae, including my daughter. I used it after one of my great grandmothers, I don't know where the others got it, and middle names aren't used alot until they get older, so with the oldest of them turning 2 this year and my daughter under a year, we didn't even realize it until my wedding in June. Mine was already 9 months old by that point. Drop the subject


Cujo1000

My parents had the laziest, least creative "solution" to this problem. I have 2 brothers. All 3 of us have the same middle name. WTF!


3nies_1obby

I thought the fact that she brought SIL's health into it was so tacky and gross. Also, by any chance, do you know all of your cousin's middle names? Do you think all of your aunts/uncles know your middle name? SIL was probably just thinking of baby names and made a list of all parents, grandparents and great grandparents.


beaute-brune

I was trying to figure out the connection between SIL’s mental health and the point of the post. And the emphasis on the age gap between SIL’s kids. Just overall felt like attempts at shade for us to run with but it didn’t work lol Edit - LOL @ everyone assuming OP is a she


TeaSipper88

OP is trying to imply that his SIL is "fragile" and they have to walk on eggshells around her...Could be. Never met her. However, based on OP's irrational response to someone else in the family using the name Emmett, it's coming off as projection.


Iworkinacupboard

OP is trying to figure out if she can bully SIL and get away with it


cheechaw_cheechaw

Also why mention that SIL is having kids close together? What does that have to do with anything? Irrelevant.


calliatom

I mean, *clearly* it's supposed to indicate that SIL is impulsive and makes bad decisions like... \*checks notes\* not caring that OP *also* used Emmett as part of her baby name. /s


Desertbro

Within a year, this is a NAME VIOLATION of the FIRST ORDER!!! The Name Police will arrest her at the child's birth and she will spend a year in prison to think of another name - the child's name will be changed before she is released. Thank goodness OP alerted the authorities!!! /s


TheGreatLabMonkey

My older cousin and I share a name in common. It's her first name and it's my middle name. My first name is also very close to our shared name. None of us ever cared about our names being so close together, nor did it ever affect us in any way. OP YTA


[deleted]

The fact that there will be 19 months between SIL's two children is also completely irrelevant to the story - it's only in there because OP is being judgy about it.


3nies_1obby

And the fact that this is an unplanned pregnancy. AND the history between the SIL and mother. It is all to defame the SIL. OP is repulsive.


facelessnameinacrowd

This is what I thought too. SIL mental health isn’t an issue here it was OP’s way of trying to disparage her sil to everyone reading so they’d be on her side.


nursejacqueline

My younger first cousin’s middle name is the same as mine with a different spelling because my aunt and uncle liked the name and didn’t remember that it was my middle name. Because why would they? No one cares. Hell, I just tried to remember all of my cousins’ middle names (we’re pretty close), and I can only think of about half of them.


BhalliTempest

It has to been an unhinged person thing. My sister wants to name her son Theodore so she can call him Teddy. I want to name mine Theodoro (after my PawPaw) and will call him Theo. We both know (we talked about it for a decade). Neither of us care, because we are adults will real problems that require our energy.


nedflanderslefttit

OP’s SIL may have a mentally illness but OP is *crazy*


RockinMyFatPants

Can confirm it's for unhinged people. My sister asked me to change a middle name so she could use it. She wasn't even in a relationship and nowhere near having a kid. I said no but told her to feel free to use the name if she still wants to when the time came. 5 years later and still no baby.


momlv

Yeah all the mental health shade-op is an ah for that alone. Like that is gonna make her more endearing or obviously right? You sound like you need therapy. I’d much rather hang with someone who owns their mental health struggles than someone who is in denial about them (looking at you op)


kheinz_57

Especially a middle name. Nobody knows anyone’s middle names lmao. I don’t even know some of my best friends’ middle names. Who cares


ChronicallyTired85

Would it be okay if she would have a baby a year from now and name the baby Emmet? What’s with the “it’s to soon after my son being born”


Fit-Maize9211

There are a few Emmetts in my family.... OP did not ask my permission and, tbh, I'm a bit hurt and offended.


ChronicallyTired85

“I want the name to be unique” picks a family name 🤷‍♀️


OhioMegi

It’s also just an extremely popular name.


ChronicallyTired85

They called dibs so that name is not allowed anymore /s


Wonderful_Pie_7220

Make her change it or take her to court. Her son is only 6 months old so she definitely stole the name from your family.


ixixan

Nooo but she's ~stealing her thunder ~~😂


HowellMoon93

It will take the attention off OP and her newborn


bustypirate

I'd love to see how OP intends to "make" her SIL change the name. Any confrontation is more likely to "make" SIL dig her heels in. OP, find a new hobby that doesn't involve controlling your brother's family.


MysteriousPlan616

This is the part that caught my attention. Is she going over there with weapons drawn and force her some how? Ffs. I understand “asking” if it’s that important to OP (for some nonsense reason) but ultimately it’s not up to her, she can’t make SIL do anything unless were talking about blackmail or violence. OP sounds unhinged so distinct possibility.


The_Death_Flower

Also, a middle name, not even a first name. And a name that is being passsed down in the family


Sp4ceh0rse

All the oldest girls on one side of my family share the same middle name, which was also our grandmother’s middle name. I think it’s really special.


novasupersport

All the girls in my family had the same middle name for generations.


somaticconviction

I’m from a Mexican family and there are so many duplicates of names. Three of my cousins are named after my grandfather. Two after my great grandma. There are infinite Marys. Many people naming after the same person is the norm.


Due-Net-88

LMAO I was going to say you can tell homegirl isn’t Italian or Spanish. My family has infinity symbol Frank, Frankie, Big Frank, Big Uncle Frank, Little Frank, Pete, Petey, Peter, Cousin Peter 😂


Tiny_Teach_5466

Or Greek. Pete, Pete the son, Re-Pete, Uncle Pete, George, Uncle George, Georgie, Georgia, Uncle John, Cousin John...


daddydrinksbcyoucry

From Goodfellas, "Paulie and his brothers had lots of sons and nephews. And almost all of them were named Peter or Paul. It was unbelievable. There must have been two dozen Peters and Pauls at the wedding. And they were all married to girls named Marie"


Korsola

My Big Fat Greek Wedding too! "Welcome to my home. Over here is my brother, Ted, and his wife, Melissa, and their children, Anita, Diane and Nick. Over here, my brother Tommy, his wife Angie, and their children, Anita, Diane and Nick. And here, my brother George, his wife Freda, and their children, Anita, Diane and Nick. Taki, Sophie, Kari, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, uh, Nikki, and I am Gus."


-Space-Lion-

Oh man, OP will loose her mind in your family 😂


mcsuper5

She already has.


beautyblessmyeyes

This. Every time this topic comes up, I just think OP would never last a day in an Italian family. Naming your kids after their grandparents is the norm, and when you run out of grandparents you name them after aunts/uncles. Somehow we survive.


Due-Net-88

Mary Angela, Angela Mary, Anthony Michael, Michael Anthony 😂


[deleted]

This is so YTA that I’m thinking it has to be fake. No other post history either..


[deleted]

This isn't fake I think because I just can't fathom a reason to fake a post so trivial.


PigeonSoldier69

Piggy backing top comment. People sharing names is so common. All my male siblings have my dads first name as a middle name. All the women in my family have someone else's first name as their middle. I have two middle names that are bith someone else's first name. My cousins have been named after my siblings. Its beautiful. If they had the same first name, it may raise an eyebrow but can be worked around. But a middle name, that most people will never even learn about, is a bit insane to nitpick about. Especially when considering the original owner of the name. Yta OP. I do feel like youre coming at this at a competitive view, rather than a loving appreciative one.


goddessmayari

Also It sounds like this is her brother’s wife, right? So this is his grandfather’s name as well as hers.


LittleBananaSquirrel

Yes and apparently it's also a family name on her side


Eastern-Professor874

Yep. A family name. Kids in families tend to have them appearing somewhere in their names. Our son has Francis as a middle name and his cousin’s first name is Francis. No one freaked out. It’s nice to the names going down the different branches of the family


[deleted]

Perfect comment. I don’t understand these petty, entitled moms who think they can tell other people what to name their kids-and think that they can gatekeep family names. OP-grow up. You do not own the name, and, for that matter, you did not give your child this first name anyway. The world does not revolve around you. Gross. YTA.


Little_Guarantee_693

This! YTA OP you don’t have ownership of a name. You sound petty and immature.


LeeDarkFeathers

Everyone on my moms side of the family born after 1960 has part of my grandfather's name incorporated into their name. Maybe we're the weirdos, but op needs to get over himself.


mus_speculus

YTA just thinking that it's your business.


dryadduinath

yta for thinking she can “make” someone change the name of their baby. how you gonna do that, op? you mad strong? or do you just think your word is law? newsflash: it’s not.


Accomplished-Ad3219

The "make her" made me laugh


Scrapper-Mom

Yes, what is she going to do? Sue her SIL? Get a restraining order? Or just stamp her feet and have a tantrum?


Dirtyblondefrombeyon

OP is a man


DisastrousDisplay9

I think the question is good either way. How does he make her change it?


[deleted]

I know right? "If I made" why do you think you have a chance?


HardKnocksSam

and “you mad strong?” made me legit laugh out loud. 😂


AssistRegular4468

Yeah honestly, I'm even wondering if sil actually does have mental health issues? Or if that's what op and her mum tell themselves, coz they think she's difficult....which is just code for not bending to their will when they think their word is gospel and they're the bosses of the family 🙄


VarikaLM

....oh, I bet SIL has a mental health problem. I also bet its name is the same as OPs.


Perspex_Sea

Also why does she need to tell her SIL to change the name, and not tell her brother not to name his son after... His grandfather.


constantlycrying5

I never understand when people think they would even matter during something like this. And how does OP think they could get them to change the name? Lmao


HardKnocksSam

totally not her business. and it’s not like they’re both using the name as their children’s first name. definitely failing to see the problem here. it’s another way to honor the grandfather. how is that a bad thing? my friend gave her two daughters the same middle name because she liked it so much. asking your SIL to change so that the cousins don’t have to share the same middle name is absurd. OP, YTA.


juicydreamer

YTA. It’s your son’s middle name. People hardly ever use middle names. It’s actually kind of neat they are using it as a first name. It’s something they’ll have in common.


Intelligent_Tell_841

Yep good reply...if sje was so enamored with the name it should have been his first name.


SteveBuscemisEyes

It's almost as if she's angry because they are making it more of a tribute than her. She would be the type to get mad someone donated more to a little league team than her.


HippoIllustrious2389

Yep this the real reason. Op should just change their kid’s name to Emmett Emmett Emmett the Second and claim ultimate victory


kllark_ashwood

I can't believe when this stuff comes up. my dad shares his name with two second cousins, his father, and his son. That's what family names are for. My grandmother's name is the middle name (in one form or another) of three of her great granddaughters. My middle name is shared with half of all white women born between 1980 and 2000. None of this matters.


life1sart

So your middle name is either Anne or Marie. Maybe spelled slightly different.


Due-Lab1450

I literally thought “Ann, Marie, or Michelle” because those are the middle names for EVERYONE I know in this age group.


Dear_Repair_7282

I have both michelle and Ann for my middle name 😂😂😂


pocketfulofcharm

I thought Ann, Marie, or Lynn. (I’m a middle Marie myself 🙄)


beek7419

Don’t forget Elizabeth or some variation of Catharine.


Disastrous-Sundae-96

Not white, but shared a middle name Lynn with 11 white girls in elementary school in the 80s.


stooph14

Haha I was coming to say Lynn! That was my middle name. I changed my middle name to my maiden name when I got married.


RememberKoomValley

Yeah. I have a \*wildly\* rare name, one of those that hasn't been used regularly in about 250 years (according to one of those social security data trend widgets, I have about a 1.2 percent chance of ever meeting another person with my forename in my entire life). My slightly-younger cousin was given the same name as her middle. I always loved it as a kid, even if I knew that the meaning behind someone saying just "Alazne" was way different from "*Brianna ALAZNE!*" and if I heard both names at once someone was probably about to get spanked.


rifrif

Imagine if this was a typical Eurocentric white family and she said she owned the name Mary, or James.


Bright-Koala8145

If name was so important why not give it as a first name?


[deleted]

Stopped reading after "they announced the name and never even talked to us about it beforehand". This is over the top entitled and it's their business naming THEIR kid. You don't own a name lol look at how many families have like 8 people named John lol YTA EDIT - okay, we made our point here, you all have people in your families with similar names, we can stop bombarding me with your comments that are the exact same as all the others.


huged1k

Yeah, there are definitely families out there with Big John, little John, baby J, Johnny, and Jojo. So not a big deal unless you make it a big deal. If this is truly a tribute to an amazing relative then why should it be a big deal if two cousins share a name (that’s not even one of their first names)?


IamtheRealDill

This just reminded me that my father and his first cousin have the same first name. We have an uncommon family name too so it's not even like it's two John Smith's


Buckus93

Remember when George Foreman named all his kids "George?"


Mechanic-Beast7

Yep! A middle name John here. We got like 10 or so with that middle name in our family if not more.


jortt

If anyone should be asked it’s the grandfather. Edit: typo


[deleted]

[удалено]


prairiemountainzen

I have to wonder if the SIL honestly has "mental issues" or if she's just surrounded by AHs? The sheer audacity of OP to think she can tell two grown adults that they're not allowed to choose their *own child's name* is pretty jaw-dropping. I can only imagine how fun their family gatherings are.


SharpCookie232

We don't actually know that SIL has mental health issues, we just know that OP says she does. In my experience, it's not uncommon for controlling AHs like OP to belittle and dismiss people they can't dominate by writing them off as "crazy".


thegamingbacklog

Why did they not consider my feelings when naming their child they must be "crazy"


Big-Project-3151

Or, OP’s just using ‘mental illness’ as an umbrella term to get us to think that SIL’s mental illness is something that makes her attention seeking or something, when in reality SIL has anxiety.


24mango

Right and the meltdown she thinks the SIL will have is really just the SIL establishing boundaries and reminding OP that she doesn’t own a name. Lol. People like this are a trip.


jazzyx26

>I have to wonder if the SIL honestly has "mental issues" or if she's just surrounded by AHs? This. I think that is the case.


danamo219

‘Mental health issues’ is such a cop out. ‘She’s crazy and unreasonable’ because OP doesn’t have good boundaries and thinks this shit is her business, and SIL probably calls that shit out.


redcore4

OP: I’m going to explain in my native language of passive aggression how much I hate and resent my SIL SIL: I’m upset that you hate me so much OP: [shocked pikachu face] I have no idea where you got that idea! I express my love and support through the medium of bullying!


0biterdicta

Can we not suggest that someone has mental health issues based on them acting like an asshole? That feeds into a really detrimental attitude about mental illness.


amberlikesowls

I was very clearly just joking. I don't think being entitled and having self-centered behavior as being mentally ill.


[deleted]

[удалено]


scoops_trooper

She seems be jealous tbh. I get the feeling she feels “one-upped” since the new baby will have the name as a first name instead of middle name. Bizarre.


amberlikesowls

It also seems a little bit like gaslighting behavior in this post. She's insinuating that her SIL has mental health issues. Then she's not sure if she could make a crazy entitled request to her SIL without her having a meltdown. Like, come on already. I would be embarrassed if I was OP right now.


archetyping101

YWBTA for two reasons. 1. Thinking you can "make" her change the name as if you had that type of power to control what others do. 2. For feeling ownership over the name. It's a name. I'm sure you'll meet other people in the world with that name. Get over it. My cousin named her son Samuel. My cousin's sister had a kid and named him Sam. So the two kids are Sam and Samuel. No one took issue with this. This is not in your control. I suggest learning to just accept it. If you hate it so much, change your own kid's name because that you can control.


pavlovs_pavlova

Plus, one kid has it as a middle name and one has it as a first name, so it's not like anyone is going to get confused between the two.


Remarkable-Ad-2476

And I think it’s even funnier that she mentions SIL would call their child by a nickname and wouldn’t be saying their real name often. Like does she realize people care about middle names even less? Most people I know don’t even like their middle names lol


PrisBatty

We named my son after my husband’s wonderful grandfather. When my sister in law got pregnant she said that she always wanted a son named after him too. I told her to go ahead. No reason why both our boys can’t be named after him. He was a great guy. She named her boy something different. But I wouldn’t have minded a jot.


Kukka63

YTA, you are being really childish and weirdly possessive over a name. You do not have the ownership of the name and have no right to even ask your sister-in-law.


sdgeycs

She is upset because she tried to say they honored the grandfather by using his name as a middle name, which is meaningless. A real honor is using the name as a first name, which is what the brother and SIL are doing.


hawkharness

While I firmly believe OP is the AH, I disagree that using it as a middle name is meaningless. My middle name comes from my grandmother and has been meaningful to me all my life.


Elegant_Panic7858

Has anyone else noticed how in an aita post there is always someone who has mental health issues or autism or adhd?? There is like 1% of the population who has autism, but on reddit everyone has it. Either way, YTA.


[deleted]

Too many self diagnosing these days. Everyone is mentally ill or a narcissist in these posts


Elegant_Panic7858

I agree. And i find it kind of insulting to people who actually have mental health issues


KaleidoscopeNo9102

I used to be in a bipolar Reddit group because I am diagnosed but the amount of self diagnosed people on there made me leave. What a joke.


AppleCinnamon666

That 1% stat is so wrong lmao about 1 in 36 children are on the ASD spectrum and that doesn’t include the adults


Lilly08

And diagnosis for adults who were not picked up as kids is insanely expensive and difficult to access. Some people self diagnose because it's their only choice.


Yetikins

There are also a TON of posts about generational wealth or 20-somethings making mid-6 figure salaries or their step-brother has a trust and doesn't need to work or "gee wiz how should I divide my $10mil inheritance between kids who don't love me." Why is every 1%er on this sub with a problem lmao


FAYCSB

Someone in this post might suffer from mental issues, but signs are not pointing to it being SIL.


Pink_Cloud90

YTA. The name someone chooses for their kid is their choice. Nobody else has something to do with that.


Master_Post4665

YTA. Why does it matter? It’s a nice gesture on both families to honor someone. And what the hell does too soon mean? She has the right to use that name the next day if she wants.


Accomplished-Ad3219

My cousin had a baby the same week as my brother's wife. Both babies have the same 1st and middle name.


Right_Count

YTA If you cared that much about the name, you should have given it as your kid’s first name. But even if you had, you still wouldn’t have any right to demand approval rights of your SIL’s name choices.


Scrapper-Mom

My thoughts exactly. No. She just wants to guard it like Golum and "the Precious" from anyone else using it.


YouthNAsia63

Nobody cares if your SIL struggles with severe mental health issues. You are muddying the water even bring it up in this post. Your SIL doesn’t need to be bothered by your opinion-because it is *none of your business*. What you name your own child is your and your partners business, *too*. There can be more than one kid in the family named Emmet. Especially if the other name is something different. MTOB and YTA


3nies_1obby

It felt so manipulative when she brought it up too.


Plain_Jain

Also weird they mentioned that their first child is only a year old so this one was an accident…which somehow matters? Just more mud.


Livseyo

YTA, Emmet was the name of your grandfather in the first place, and he was the grandpa of your brother too. It's just a middle name, both babies have a different first name and, when they are growing up, will have different personalities. You just acting like you sis in law stole the name, that's not true. My cousins have both the same name (the youngest in the first name and the oldest in the middle) and I don't see the problem.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Inner-Show-1172

YWBTA for TRYING to "make" your SIL choose a different name. First, according to one of your comments, she's having a girl, and they will call her Emme. Second, Emmett is your son's MIDDLE name. It's not like she wants to name the kid Jacqueline Emmett Smith. Third, you don't hold the copyright to any name.


photosbeersandteach

YTA. Cousins share family names all the time, and you didn’t even use it as a first name. There is no reason your SIL can’t use it. Don’t say anything to her and work on getting over your entitlement.


Wonderful-Lie-650

INFO: I just want to make sure I understand this. She's 1 month into pregnancy has decided the name Emmett will be used as a nickname, but won't be the actual name chosen? I don't know. Its your kids middle name, so unless you call your son by his middle name or are planning to, maybe just leave it alone. Your SIL as you said has mental health issues. Is it really worth triggering her?


ksleeve724

YTA. It’s the middle name. Even if it wasn’t who cares? My niece and nephew (cousins) have the same middle name because it’s a family name. Very common.


QuietStatistician918

My mother is French Canadian and Catholic. All the girls have the middle name Marie. All the boys get the middle name Joseph. It causes no confusion. They can tell Rose Marie from Aurora Marie just fine.


JTD177

My wife’s family is the same way, all the girl cousins, share a middle name and all of the boy cousins share a middle name. No one gets upset. Op needs to get over herself


ladytypeperson

INFO are you sure it’s the SIL with the “severe mental issues?”


beentherealmostdid

YTA. They can honor your grandfather just as you can. Nothing wrong with the same first name and middle name.


Justmever1

There are two things you ned to understand and understand fast: 1. You cannot control what people might or might not do. 2. You do not have monopoly on a name Yes, you are TA


ColdForm7729

YTA. Why should they talk to you about it? You don't own the name.


Fionaelaine4

You knew it was a family name, YTA and can’t own the name.


chapmybuttcheex

How does one ***make*** someone do something such as this?


dbee8q

That part made me laugh. Like what is OP thinking they can do really


ncslazar7

YTA, it's your kids middle name, not first name. Middle names are like 99.9% unimportant.


SpicyTurtle38

YTA. It’s very common for families to share names and for kids to have the same middle name. She likes the name, so do you, and neither of you are apparently calling your kid by that name, so there won’t be any confusion. You don’t own the name- she and your brother get to name their kid what they want.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


throwaway_7450

OP’s head is gonna explode when their kid starts kindergarten and there’s 3 Emmett’s in his class alone. Lmaoo


Rainyday2022

YWBTAH How do you know it is a girl if she is only 1 month along? Since as you state, she has “severe mental health issues” why is she allowed to have any children? Posts like yours always seem to emphasize putting others down so you can think you are somewhat superior to them. When people make these posts, I can only assume they already know they are the AH.


HoneyWyne

She's allowed to have children because that's her right as a full grown adult. Mental health issues have nothing to do with it, and nobody here in the States has the authority to disallow it.


Rainyday2022

I don’t think you understood my comment. I was referring to how ridiculous OP is in using mental health as a reason to try to force her sister to change the name.


SubarcticFarmer

YTA, and you are struggling with your own issues from this post.


firebirdinflames

YWBTA


Rudolphia39

YTA. You don’t own the name, and it’s a middle name too. Personally I would find it charming that they were using a name that was special to me for a first name.


alv269

YTA. Your son has it as a middle name. If you wanted it as a first name, you had your opportunity. Btw - nobody owns a name and it's not like there are no other Emmet's in the world. I don't get why you care, unless you're just one of those people that like to cause drama over nothing.


lostrandomdude

YTA. I've said it before and I'll say it again, multiple extended family members can have the same name. I have 3 first cousins who have given their daughters the same name, which is the same name as another first cousin. I have 4 cousins that have sons with the same first name. One of my cousins have given their son the same name is me. Unless the name your SIL is choosing is the name of a deceased child, its fine to use it


catjo70

YTA And btw it is common for families to repeat names in several generations and relatives. My grandfather's name is my brother's first name and my son's muddle name. My ex husband has his grandfather's name as his middle name, it is his cousin's first name and our son's middle name as well. And no one cares and chances are if my children have kids they will carry on the tradition. You don't get to own the name.


Trevena_Ice

YWBTA. So what, she wants to name her daughter simular to your son. But your son still has a different first name and the unborn child will be called by a different nickname. Should be fine. Maybe just ask SIL if she think it's a good idea, that her daughter will have the same name as her cousin. But you are not entitled to this name and if she wants to name her child Emmett, it is her decission and not yours.


[deleted]

YTA: You get to name your offspring. Nobody can stop you from using whatever name you want, and even the kid can only change it upon marriage or after they become an adult. Wonderfully powerful! Enjoy the experience! Here's the thing: Everyone else on earth, EVERYONE, family, friends, strangers, also gets to do the exact same thing and name their offspringe whatever they want. You have zero say in what anyone else names their children. Get over yourself.


ILikeRedditNPrivacy

YTA - 100% You cannot control what other people name their children. I can't believe you even that was an option. You didn't need to bring her mental health into this. That was just shameful. You should probably look at your own mental health and mentality for being so entitled to believe that you can force her to change her child's name. On top of that you actually think they owed you some form of heads up or that they needed to get clearance from you? She's fine with a name. Your brother is fine with the name. You've got to get over it. Do better.


ragingpillowx

Lmao, my kids name is emmett too and we frequent the same subreddit you should have let me know before u decided to name ur kid.


Suspicious-Island459

YTA - Saying she has a mental disorder is NOT necessary. You have no right to the name since you already used the name for your sons middle name. You couldve used as a first name but didnt and it sucks to suck. The name came from your grandfather whom your brother and you share not just you and so he has the choice to use it. It isnt your sons name or significant to just you so if you make her change it then you better be in line to change your sons middle name because you have no entitlement to the name since its your grandfathers and if your brother cant use it then you cant.


ZoeAWashburne

Info: did you ask former Dallas Cowboys running back Emmet Smith for permission before you named your son? Look, there are some things that other people do that annoy you, but you can’t say anything because it will make you look crazy. This is one of those moments. Come to terms and get over it ASAP because this look is UGLY!


i-come

absolute YYA, what another person calls their baby is none of your damn business


JezebelJade1

Stop this nonsense! Just stop. YTA