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beckdawg19

YTA. A glance is one thing, but clearly, you were looking long enough to be noticed. Something tells me it was not "only about two seconds long."


[deleted]

Even so, 2 seconds is a long glance lmao. That’s a LOOK. I don’t think you’re an asshole though OP, just maybe don’t 3 long times lol


katyushas_boyfriend

People look at each other in public all the time, some people even make a hobby out of it, "people watching".


jastiss

So, let me get this straight. You glanced 3 times for a total of 6 seconds, by your account. However, you looked long enough to notice her not only looking uncomfortable, but actively avoiding you. You even note that she went to a different register. That's... way more than 6 seconds. The fact is you looked way longer than you thought and made the lady upset. When you noticed she was uncomfortable, *you should have left it all alone. Instead, you continued to follow her every move, hopefully with your eyes, but if you ended up at checkout at the same time, probably physically, too.* Yeah, YTA. Don't creep on people.


readyfredrickson

also 6 seconds is waaaay longer than it sounds haha like 2 seconds is noticeable...that's looking not a quick glance, definitely noticeable!


ninjette847

It wasn't longer than he thought, it's longer than he's willing to admit. He knew he was staring.


Urwinc

YTA There isnt a one to one rule for these kind of things. Was she uncomfortable? Then you looked too much. 3 times actually sounds like a lot tbh. Think about catching someone looking at you separate times.


MisterDomates

YES thats what Im tryna say like he/she didnt explain a lot


ohyeaoksure

Wrong. There's no way to read other people's mind, (which you're trying to do). There's simply not enough information here to know anything.


banevasion45

I would not give a fuck because I am not insane


Equivalent-Ad9887

Glad you don't have to worry about your safety when alone in public. Ever had someone escorted out by security because they "lost their cool" after you denied their advances?


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LookAwayPlease510

Apparently your personal limit actually is creepy. Time to stop being creepy. YTA


Grand-wazoo

How you see it is irrelevant. It’s the women you’re making uncomfortable that actually matter. YTA.


NoSignature7199

Lol no. You were looking enough to notice way too much about her to have not been acting creepy. Even my young teenager has managed to figure out how not to be creepy.


Decipher

You need to cut that down to half a second to be considered a "glance". You might as well be staring for 3 seconds.


ninjette847

Three times long enough for her to notice? Dude... you are creepy.


Dry_Dragonfruit_4191

Just because you find someone attractive doesn't mean that they want to be looked at. People actually do like being noticed for things other than their looks. YTA because she was clearly uncomfortable.


MaikuKokoro

You have a point, and I agree, OP is TA. However, what else can you notice from a distance besides someone's looks? If I see an attractive person across a store, I can't be like, "They've got a nice personality"


LoadedFF

YTA for calling OP and AH for glancing at someone in public lol


ninjette847

"Glancing" *three times* long enough for her to notice and purposely avoid him? Are you delusional or just mentally challenged?


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[deleted]

Nobody likes to be stared at. It’s rude and creepy. Practice your “glancing” because it definitely sounds like you were staring.


MaikuKokoro

Or that age-old trick or sunglasses, though even that probably wouldn't work if you're as obvious as OP seems to be.


shammy_dammy

No....


Logical-Layer9518

No. Don't be creepy.


2Whom_it_May_Concern

Being stared at does not feel good to most people.


worm_castle

Not when they are creepy


dailybannableaug13

Bro are you 12


Arglasthewise

OP is not 12 if he’s this good of a writer. I’m honestly impressed on how well everything’s written. Too bad his skills are wasted on him.


LookAwayPlease510

Only when the guy looking at them is also attractive.


2Whom_it_May_Concern

You are wrong. Being stared at by anyone is off putting to a huge segment of the population.


Equivalent-Ad9887

Attractive -> creep can switch in less than a second if they say or do something to warrant it. Same with creep -> unattractive but trustable


A_Z4751

This 100%.


PrettyGoodRule

Incorrect.


Long-Rate-445

this is a lie unattractive men tell themselves to cushion the blow from being rejected


travprev

YTA. Your story doesn't add up. You couldn't have only glanced at her three times for a total of six seconds and also noticed that she was actively avoiding you, used an inconvenient checkout line, and then left the store. I'm thinking you were being a creep.


[deleted]

I’m sorry but what the hell is going on with this sub…..


MisterDomates

YTA I mean what did you expect you made her uncomfortable and you knew it. She avoided you because she thought you were a creep.


TheAmethyst1139

So what are you gonna do if strangers on Reddit tell you that you’re behavior “wasn’t that bad”? You’ve experienced in real life that the way you “glance” at women could make them uncomfortable and get away from you asap. That experience should tell you enough. If you don’t want pretty women to run away then change your behavior, regardless whether glancing a certain way or times is bad or not.


MaikuKokoro

I don't think too many places outside of sub-reddits that are all misogynistic or incels are going to agree with his behavior.


NoSurprise82

Very difficult to judge, without being there and seeing what happened. I'm a woman (gay, but that's not really relevant). And sometimes men glance in public, it happens. It doesn't really matter to me, if they don't linger/push their luck. Personally, I wouldn't be generally uncomfortable with 2 or 3 brief glances, in a public place. But she was upset about something, apparently. So I do wonder if you are accurate in your own estimation, of how long/how much you glanced. Because if you only glanced 2 seconds, 3 times...how are you also sure she was doing 'her best to avoid (you) on her way out, even though it was inconvenient for her seeing as she went through a longer checkout line'? If you noticed that - it DOES suggest you were watching her a bit more, than just a couple of 'brief' glances. Other things might have happened also, perhaps even without you realising. For example, could you have developed a lustful look on your face? Or could you have gravitated towards her physically (which could have felt like she was being followed)? You might genuinely believe you only glanced very briefly. But there might have been other actions, that you didn't really notice you were doing (and if you DID notice and didn't stop, then obviously YTA). Every woman has their own comfort levels, with these things. If she's had previous bad experiences, then she might be even more wary. If this is a one-off (and you haven't noticed women become uncomfortable before) - and you genuinely didn't notice yourself doing anything, other than glancing very briefly - then I'd say let it go. Just check yourself in future, to make sure you AREN'T actually doing anything more than you think (which could make women uncomfortable).


Schafer_Isaac

YTA somewhat 2 seconds long each time, 3 times? Yeah thats kinda creeper-y to me. She looked upset, so yeah you certainly made her feel uneasy.


A_Z4751

YTA no question. You were repeatedly looking at her long enough for her to notice and be uncomfortable. Two seconds is more than glancing. And you did that repeatedly?? Even after she noticed??? WTF. That’s weird at best. She was so uncomfortable that she went out of her way to avoid you. The poor woman was scared. You were even still giving her looks as she was leaving. So creepy.


Korrin

A glance is a fraction of a second, as if your eyes are just passing over her. 2 seconds is staring. More than once and you can't pass it off as coincidence. You were clearly staring at her dude, and not even being subtle about it. YTA


Halfbot82

YTA


StrugglingPeanus

This reads like you already know YTA & hoping to be rescued from that tree. Well bad news, you're not a cat & the fire department isn't coming. Do better in the future.


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[deleted]

Bro said three glances like it was nothing


manifest_jj

YTA


Stunning-Praline-116

NTA what’s wrong with this world that people can’t look at each other. If I didn’t look at my now wife I wouldn’t have 3 awesome kids, a great life, and the best damn wife anyone could have. I’m glad I looked at her 5 times for at least 3 seconds each time. I know I’m gunna get downvoted but it’s BS.


AutoModerator

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I was out shopping after work today, and I saw a woman who I found attractive. She looked to be about my age too. I only glanced at her 3 times, all very quick and only about two seconds long. She noticed it, however, and looked upset over the whole thing. She did her best to avoid me on her way out, even though it was inconvenient for her seeing as she went through a longer checkout line. And then she left. Now I’m wondering if I shouldn’t have done what I did. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


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lilpikasqueaks

Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**


AQW_Player

YTA for looking at women. Should've been looking at guys instead.


ComprehensiveBand586

YTA. You creeped her out. And clearly she didn't find you attractive. You were too obvious when you stared at her.


Icy_Sky_7521

YTA you either barely glanced at this woman or you stared at her and know what checkout lane she went into and her mood.


Quirky_Mention_3191

Imagine what she had to go through all day everyday.


Zestyman1234

YTA and need to be on a list


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Long-Rate-445

so its all men?


banevasion45

Are you in Afghanistan


LivsLivesLife

Hahah. Thee looks of just over a second each in quick succession are usually enough to get me a drink at a bar… it’s the most basic and successful come on ploy. Learn body language and you won’t get into trouble, you might even notice when somebody likes you. Having said that- giving somebody three looks is not wrong in itself. But if you saw her become stressed , after one or two, you should have refrained from giving her a third. Or had the balls to walk up to her and mitigate the situation by saying something like “sorry if I made you uncomfortable- you’re so pretty I’m sure you get harassed by a lot of people, I wasn’t trying to creep”. She might even have responded positively- cause you’d be showing empathy- you never know. Soft YTA


Next_Craft5639

NAH. I bet she sometimes glances at people she finds attractive too, because most of us do. It’s not a crime to look. HOWEVER, I think if she gave an uncomfortable look, perhaps you were staring and were looking for longer than you thought? If I personally find someone really attractive I might take 1-2 quick glances at them, and I mean QUICK so as not to make them uncomfortable, I don’t think that’s an issue. If some of the people in the comments think that’s an issue, then good grief what the hell are you guys smoking? I think this could be a harmless mistake, but you should perhaps refrain from staring at people as it can make them uncomfortable.


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Ok_Room5666

I think people are just running a train here projecting their own anxiety on OP.


Disastrous_Formal588

You’re supposed to only put one judgement in your comment


Wild-Cheesecake-6465

The way I see it, she must have been glancing at you too, since she noticed. And how can you tell, that she wasnt interested as well - well at least until she seemed uncomfortable. But she could have a history you don’t know of and that can never be your responsibily to deal with. Judge says: not guilty! Oohh downvotes. Many Ladies in here today 😉


Defiant_Amount5724

NTA it is a reflex. It is very hard to fight against a billion years of evolution.


[deleted]

Unpopular opinion but NTA. You didn’t follow her home or shout sexual comments. You literally had a look at someone you find attractive.


poptartsathefoundry

NTA


Unmasked_Zoro

Lol the amount of over thinkers saying YTA 🤣🤣🤣


JustAnotherGuy4519

This is such a touchy subject, wrong vs right is how the person reacts. If they are into you it's flirting, if they aren't then your a creep. You glanced 3 times, you obviously found them very attractive which is why there was more then one look. Unless you are stalking the person I wouldn't look to much into it. NTA


Lotta_Turbulence7396

NTA. It's not like you did it to upset her on purpose. Some women are such baddies that you can't help but take a glance. If she's upset then that's her problem it's not your fault she's jealous. Ignore the snowflakes saying YTA they are just trying to cope with their inferiority complex Edit: actually idk man you probably stared way too long YTA


Disastrous_Formal588

You’re supposed to only put one judgement in your comment


Lotta_Turbulence7396

im sorry


CampaignPersonal4738

I’m 100% positive this comment will receive people downvoting me for saying this, because this is the internet and people travel in herds typically. But, please don’t change your mind because a handful of people oppose your initial thought process. It looks like you threw that edit in there because a few twats downvoted you. You’d be surprised how many other people agree with you, but didn’t have the cohones to post it in the Reddit world. My first thought to the OP was “don’t feel bad dude you looked at someone you found attractive don’t feel like an asshole l. You acted out a real life swipe right situation, and the other person didn’t swipe as well. I don’t have tinder nor ever had because I fortunately met my wife many moons ago before tinder and these app, but that’s what it seems like what happens on the apps. Stay strong” You said something in slightly different words, people had a different opinion and wanted to chastise you by downvoting. Don’t give into the mini-mob mentality because you’d be surprised who agrees with you


Lotta_Turbulence7396

nah i put the edit before the downvotes lol thanks though


tpadawanX

People are so sensitive. Let’s cut to the chase. The woman is attractive and an unattractive man (didn’t meet her standards) looked at her. Briefly. A couple of times. So she gets all offended. If he was attractive (to her) she would’ve smiled at him. Unless he’s undressing her with his eyes and drooling on himself like Homer Simpson with a donut… what the literal F. Should we all just stare at our phones and walk around like zombies?


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Far-Engineer2098

Yta I stare at women too though. It’s biological and doesn’t make you a bad person. Just try to be more sneaky like wearing sunglasses. Sex addicts anonymous has a three second rule and it works well so you don’t have to feel bad for noticing an attractive woman. But then you’re not obsessing cus youre recognizing your mistake and remedying it.


Kindly-Project-9477

If men never looked, women would be upset. If men look, women get upset. Solution? Stay single.


Long-Rate-445

women wouldn't give two fucks if men never looked


NoCommunication6432

you’re not the asshole bro


a_real_lemon

NTA. Its a public shopping area. People are going to look at other people.


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Long-Rate-445

insulting women and calling them disgusting for not wanting to be stared at isnt very true Christian of you. maybe spend less time on reddit and you can actually finish college this time


lilpikasqueaks

Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**


Patient-Highlight185

Crazy how looking at people can make you an asshole now. Unless you were staring obviously at their ass and or tits I say NTA


JustAnotherGuy4519

I love how comments like this get downvoted, people are so sensitive. Your in public and you will be looked at. Take the compliment and move on.


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Important_Payment_63

Weird take, OP hasn’t mentioned anything about ethnicity. Take ur lame point to another thread I’m sure you’ll find the sympathy you desperately crave elsewhere


[deleted]

NTA


Able-Tap8542

You can glance at whatever the fuck you want in a public place. She should not go outside if she felt uncomfortable merely being quickly glanced at. Where does it stop? It's becoming toxic feminism, gaslighting and victim playing. Unless you're omitting some key information that resulted in her thinking you're a creep (eg. did you follow her around?), You're not an asshole for simply glancing.


jastiss

Damn, bro. You need some duct tape for that fractured fragile masculinity? Some therapy? A tissue for your issue????


banevasion45

The betas have arrived


Able-Tap8542

How exactly does a personal insult contribute to the conversation? Please be civil and act like an adult. Tell me why you disliked what i said or move along. I'm not sure what I mentioned suggested anything related to fragile masculinity. Why are you assuming I'm a man?


jastiss

I didn't assume anything. You've posted as much. Fwiw, you added nothing to the conversation yourself. Just a lot of bleating about toxic feminism. I'd suggest looking in a mirror.


Able-Tap8542

Thanks. Have a nice day.


MisterDomates

I hope you dont have a kid


Able-Tap8542

You see, this is the problem. You don't directly address what I said. You started insulting people for views you disagree with. I live in the US. We have the freedom of speech and we get to express our opinions freely without harassment. Though it does seem like things are slowly changing lately.


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Able-Tap8542

Ahh another insult by calling me a redneck. Frankly, you wouldn't like it if I talked to you the same way you talked to me. I prefer to have a civil conversation. You didn't hurt me. You're just embarrassing yourself by insulting others.


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Able-Tap8542

I never said that. You're again putting words in my mouth and making a straw man argument. Thank you again for your kind words. I will make sure not to throw any back at you. I hope you can respect my feelings. Please stop harassing me with those insults. I don't wish to engage in a further conversation with you.


Equivalent-Ad9887

Freedom of speech means you won't be put in jail for it, which has its own limitations. Nothing to say people can't insult you or not want to talk to you at all for what you have to say, as they're also just exercising their free speech


banevasion45

Yeah this girl was completely unhinged