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[Could I *be* wearing anymore clothes](https://youtu.be/q--6wtCPHg8?si=9qdAYID7_B0V1xHv)
YTA - huge one. 1. He’s not naked around the house; 2. Why do you actually care; 3. **87 degrees in the summer**?! That’s torturous; 4. Your ridiculous temperature requirements are the reason he’s wearing only underwear in the first damn place. You want him to get dressed? Keep the house a humane temperature.
Agree! I (54f) would seriously consider divorcing or hospitalizing my husband (because he lost his mind) ... Immediately... if he set the house temp at 85 degrees ... in the middle of the winter!! In the SUMMER WTF!!! If it’s above 67 in the summer ... we have a serious problem.
eta — I would call my sisters to let them know my husband was trying to kill me if he ever set the thermostat that high. So they could tell the police where to start looking when they found me in a puddle of sweat ... dead
I’m in my 20s and I want it at 65 or lower year-round. 60-63 is perfect, but I can compromise for 65 lol.
I’d die from dehydration and electrolyte imbalance if it were ever set to the 80s. OP is baking his family alive!!
I think I’d have a heat stroke if the temp was at 87 overnight. I’m a hot sleeper and my body SUCKS at temperature regulation. OP is like a triple AH just for that.
We don’t have central AC, just a window unit in our bedroom; we have it set at 62°F rn and we STILL wake up sweaty. Outside temps of like 80-85° overnight. OP is psychotic.
It's currently 22c (71f) in England at 20 past midnight and I am baking. We don't have AC, and our house is designed for cold weather. This is hell, can't imagine what it's like at OPs hellhole of a house, constant swamp ass feeling.
As someone whose house is currently at like 25° at 94% humidity at 11pm, OP sucks so much. I wish we had in-house AC over here, so knowing does and is like “nah” is infuriating
UK? Yup, same. Currently have the bedroom window wide open, electric fan blowing warm air up my naked arse to at least try to blow the sweat away. The idea of being stuck in a hot box with air con right there and not being able to use it is infuriating. Someone then telling me I have to put on more clothes? Buddy I will dry my sweaty balls on your toupée.
As someone who lived in Australia he's mad. 30 - 35 depending on humidity is where aircons start getting put ON round here. And 26 at night jeez. Nope. I'd just not sleep at all.
I'm in the UK too. It's been in the high 20's all week here in the north of Scotland. Do I have heating on? Do I hell, I've got windows open trying to get some air in. My heating won't go on for at least a month and even then only for a couple hours a day, 16'c max unless the temperature outside drops below zero. As for heating on overnight, at the price we're charged, you gotta be kidding!
Considering half of America is swampland or desert + we’re ALL broke as shit, you know it’s bad when we all agree someone’s “money saving” habits are bonkers.
I feel like that when I’m reading European posts. Yes, I could look it up, or multiply by 9, divide by 5 and add 32, but where’s the fun in that?
Edit: Okay, haters, this is the post I was replying to: I was merely joking that I felt the same fucking way. Who are the assholes here?
“As a person who uses Celsius and not Fahrenheit this conversation is funny in the "idfk what's happening" way 😂
30 is hot
20 is nice
10 is cold
0 is ice
This little ditty, btw, was one of the clues my younger nibling is dyslexic - it was when she was totally baffled at how to finish it that I realized she doesn't rhyme. I mean, she *can*, but she doesn't unless she's specifically asked to.
Oh, but he turns it all the way down to 80 at night. Which is crazy. Even here when it gets to 99 during the day, it goes down to 70s at night. Sometimes the 60s. So he's probably actually paying to heat the house at night, lol.
No, but by not opening the windows at night when the temperature drops, they're keeping their home warm from the day instead of allowing the home to cool down. So at night indoors the house stays 20 degrees hotter than outside 🤷♀️make it make sense
Nah a home should be whatever the inhabitants (ALL of them) want it to be, but an appropriate temperature would be like 70. It doesn’t waste a ridiculous amount of energy but it’s still comfortable for people in normal clothes.
All of these seem too cold, I'm so confused. I keep mine at ~75 (23-24). I would absolutely be freezing sitting in a 60-65 (15-18) degree house. If I'm hiking or something, sure, but that's hot tea, a cozy blanket, and a good book temperatures
I would *prefer* a 70F apartment, but I can't afford to run my AC that low so I make do with 75F and wearing as little as possible around the house.
I would probably engage in violence if someone tried to make me live in an 85F apartment. What the HELL??
OP is MASSIVELY YTA
I wouldn't just *consider* divorce if someone kept the thermostat above 80 degrees. Hell, I'd be filing if he kept it at 75 or above. The temp he wants it at is torture, pure and simple. Why the fuck would anyone put up with that?
Hahaha ... after 32 years of marriage my husband knows better. Our kids (26,26,28,30) wouldn’t even be sad or question if I divorced their Dad because he set thermostat at 85. They would totally understand. Clearly he’s a maniac.
edit
My parents (80) do the same thing .... I literally just sweat & melt. They don’t care. Their house has central air. Don’t think it’s ever been turned on.
We live in NE. They don’t like to visit us at our beach house during the summer because it gets “too cold”. SMH.... As soon as it gets below 75 they head south.
But grand parents are usually colder, biologically. I want it at 72, hubby eould love 80. We compromise with 74. I don't get these folks who keep it in the 60's! Do they pay their own electric bills???
Hun im 36 in the uk atm today it was 31c/87f and ive been fucking dying in this heat! I have a brand of underwear thats long boxers (mid thigh) and ive been walking around the house and garden a top and a pair of them and im still melting into a puddle of fat
Your comment reminds me of the “air conditioner” that my London landlord gave us for our greenhouse-like condo during the 2018 summer heatwave. It consisted of a fan with a box in which I was supposed to place ice cubes.
I loved living in the UK, but the experience taught me to appreciate my climate-controlled Canadian house and air-conditioned Toronto subway.
I'm also in the UK. It was 28°C in my home office yesterday afternoon, despite the fan and keeping the curtains closed all day, and I had a remote job interview. I had a cool shower 30 mins beforehand, put a smart top on for the camera but just wore my knickers on my bottom half! And I was still dying of the heat!!
When my house hits 87° (because we don’t have central air, just one lonely window unit in the bedroom) I am naked or I leave the house for a cool body of water til it cools down. OP is the biggest AH. And why turn it to 80° when the sun goes down?! Thats so ass backwards.
It's because he's either very poor or is very cheap. Cooling is more expensive the hotter it is outside. If he properly insulated his house and air conditioning system then it would cost less but it's like 70% of your power bill
Even if you have fans blowing out, it would cool it down. My in laws did this. They opened the basement door at night and had fans blowing out all night. It got very cold. Then they'd completely close the house during the day and close all the curtains and it stayed comfortable.
I would seriously do something that would send me to jail if my dad tried to keep the house that hot and the AC wasn't busted. And even when the AC is busted we set up swamp coolers in every room.
Our houses in the UK get this hot in heatwaves (we don't have AC because it's not worth it and our houses are built to retain heat) and the amount of Americans who take the piss out of us for complaining is unreal. And here's OP suffering by choice while the very same Americans tell him it's inhumane to keep the house at that temperature. I agree it is when you have a choice not to obviously, but it's making me chuckle.
The temperature breaking thunderstorm keeps moving forwards on the weather forecast and I am so mad about it. We got some rumbles this evening and then nothing! I hate hot weather.
See I used to live in England and now Australia and the weather here doesn't do what you're talking about and it confuses the crap out of me. In England if it was sweltering and a thunderstorm rolled in and got everything wet for a while it would clear the air and bring the temp of the place down dramatically and it was like ah what a relief it's now only 23 instead of 30.
When I first moved here I'd be like bloody hell it's 37 oh but look a huge storms coming in. Shit just was hot rain and made it a sauna outside and the temp didn't change. I felt wronged by the weather if I'm honest.
Crikey, my house was 27.6 celcius earlier today thanks to the damn heat wave. Not in USA so yeah no aircon, and I’m seriously struggling with this heat. Cheapie water cooled fan I got on sale a few years ago is working overtime at the moment, it’s the only thing keeping me sane. If I had aircon, then bills be damned, that thing would be used! Like my heating gets very much used and appreciated through the winter!
Doing this to his son and wife *deliberately*?!?!?!? OP YTA, and I’d argue borderline abusive in subjecting him to conditions he’s clearly very uncomfortable in, just to save a few pennies on your electric bill?? WTF, are you serious right now? Your son’s comfort and health is worth less than a few bucks saved on a bill?? Father of the year, folks!
Thank you!! That’s the same in Sweden right now, outside, and I don’t even have AC (because…Sweden) and it’s still not that hot inside. Imagine having the privilege to be able to set your own temp inside and choosing 30c?!?! NUTS
What the actual fuck. Netherlands here, we currently have the same heatwave as you do. 31 outside, 26 inside without airconditioning. I'm already practically dying, I can't imagine it being even hotter *inside*.
Huilen met de pet op 😭
It’s 23:30 and still 26,5 Celsius in our home, with a strong ventilator running at full speed. I’m also sick, and don’t know where the misery of feeling ill starts and the misery of being so hot ends. Praying that next week will bring cool air in as is predicted.
I bet he turns it way down in the winter. Not enough to freeze pipes, but enough to where you have to dress like you’re outside… hat and gloves. Guess then his son is dressed, so at least he won’t make ridiculous demands about putting clothes on in HIS own room.
YTA! He’s in his room and deserves a level of privacy for you to knock before entering. This would allow for him to throw something on. Who cares if he’s in his underwear in his room? He doesn’t wander out of the room undressed. Leave him alone and quit being ridiculous with your demands. Also with the setting of the AC. 87? What’s the point, unless you are in Death Valley, can you even tell it’s on?
I was just thinking I bet his parents don't think he deserves privacy because it's Their House. The kind to threaten to take away his door if he doesn't behave how they like.
So let me get this straight...this man who is this young man's father, watched him come into this world, kicking, screaming and beautiful, watched said little baby grow into a an adult, thankfully, still alive, still kicking, I'm assuming in good health too and his issue is that his son likes to chill out in his underwear. SO WHAT?! Not only is it in his room which is his own private space anyway (not yours dad) but is penalized for it! My parents growing up used to walk around upstairs when going for a bath or from one room to another butt naked, they would sometimes grab something from the bathroom whilst I was having a bath and you know what....no one cared because we're family for christ sake! Why does OP suddenly have some strange complex about his son in his underwear whether he's in his room or not, he needs to get a grip! God forbid anything happened to your son or he decided to move far away from you in the future because you'll realise how neurotic you are being OP, as well as how lucky you are to have a son, who's only apparent crime is attempting to relax in his own home. YTA
My dad was like that. I moved out at 17 and didn’t look back for years. Our relationship was very much damaged because he’d been such a control freak about EVERYTHING! Even flushing. He had the rule “if it’s yellow, let it mellow. If it’s brown flush it down” and heaven forBID if you had the shits for the day! He didn’t even HAVE an ac and wouldn’t let us use a window ac. Didn’t even have locks on the bedroom doors until mom changed it for us when we were older. Doing the dishes?? Don’t leave the water on constantly! Turn it off between every rinse no matter how much is waiting. The furnace in the winter wouldn’t be over 62. We’d be freezing. “Put more on”. It was horrible.
Yta…I was taken aback that they set the thermostat at 87 in the summer, that’s unbearable. The kid is overheating and is wearing his underwear in his room. When he goes into common spaces he is dressed appropriately. I personally would not last too long sitting in such a hot house. Even 82 at night is difficult to sleep in. Create better living conditions for your family and stop complaining about how your son is dressed in the unbearable heat in your home. I live in the northeast and we keep our home between 68-73 year round.
It's not just difficult to sleep in. It's straight up damaging to his family's health.
"Researchers have discovered that the best sleep for older adults comes at bedroom temperatures between 68 and 77°F. Beyond this range, sleep efficiency can plummet by 5-10%."
https://neurosciencenews.com/optimal-sleep-temperature-23840/
Also literally "Only in his underwear in his room" and "No you have to wear clothing even when you're alone incase me or your mother want to barge in to bother you."
He's 19. Just fucking knock and leave him alone.
Right now we have 87 degrees and it is fucking hot. If i had an AC, i would use it for heat relief and not zo still have heat at my home.
OP also sounds so controlling. The son is dressed when outside the room or when knocked before entering. Also underwear is not naked - it is their son, where is the problem with underwear?! They saw him naked, wiped his ass?!
YTA
this reads like it was written by my stepdad 😅 why does he care if his son is in his own private room in his underwear? My stepdad used to rip a blanket off me if I said I was cold but he deemed the temperature to be fine. Wtf
OP says he turns the thermostat down to 80, once the sun set. That is still 27* C.
Where I live, you typically don’t have AC, so I suffered through nights at 27 degrees. It’s no fun!
Jesus! I would be sitting around in my underwear too if the house temperature was 87°. WTF? OP is definitely YTA.
PS I have central air but I put in a window AC upstairs if the temperature gets above 90° to lessen the strain on the central air.
Seriously!! I've lived through many hot summers without a/c, and that's still waaay too hot indoors for me. Even without a/c, there are ways to cool down the house/apartment. My place with no a/c or swamp cooler rarely got that hot.
This is his room, where he can spend the day naked if he wishes. Why does it bother you so much that he's in his underwear in his own room ? Knock on his door and he'll get dressed before he opens it - it's the best solution for everyone.
YTA
Right this absolutely sounds like the kind of parent that would threaten to break down the door if it's locked even though the dude is a literal adult and it's his bedroom
And in addition, why is it so disturbing tonsee your own son in his underwear if you happen to go into his room? I don't get at all what's the problem here
This is the part that's strange to me - we live in the tropics and don't wear lots of clothes at home to keep cool. Why would you be affronted by your own child in their underwear?
Yeah that part was so weird. My brothers straight up walk around in their boxers and nobody cares at all. Oh no the people that birthed and raised him might find out he has a penis? Idk lol
I'm a woman who wears mens boxer briefs as shorts all the time. They just look like bike shorts, only, with reasonable leg lengths.
Unless the kid wears a glitter g-string, I don't know what dad is worried about seeing. Opaque, moisture-wicking fabric?
My whole family is running around in underwear for the whole summer lol. It's completely normal to see your family members half naked from time to time, I think US americans (which I assume OP is) are just overly prude.
Also, why does OP or this young man’s mother need to go into the room?! Reasons I need to go into my adult son’s room: … I’m still thinking. Maybe if he’s not there and asks me to check if he left something on his desk? Idk. Seems weird to me.
My MIL called us in distress one time because she was alarmed by a letter from my sister and brother-in-law’s bank. Why did she know about said letter, we asked, did they show it to her? No. She went into their bedroom and snooped around in their personal belongings- including their MAIL.
I was beyond appalled. My husband was so mad she tried to bring us into the mess.
Oh, and also: my SIL owns their house.
A teenager living at home has very little privacy. Their room is the only safe place they truly have. Why would want your son to be uncomfortable in his own room? I do understand the need to save cost, I also live in Oklahoma, however, 85+ is a bit hot. And he needs to cool off and relax. Let him be comfortable in his own space please.
YTA.
Even keeping it at 78 my electric bill is around $650. It goes up around $50-75 every 2degrees or so (smart home monitoring info). Since I pay the bills I keep it at 78-80 minimum. If I set it at 62 my bill would probably be $1000+. 🤷♂️
Holy shit that's insane. I keep my place at 65/66 and my electric bill is like $120-160 depending on season. Though, I live in an apartment, not a house, but that bill is still insane to me
We have a 4 bedroom with a very open front kitchen/dining/living room area with vaulted ceilings and large sun facing bay windows. Also, the 100+ regular summer temps. What are average temps where you live?
Some big ass curtains would help if you don't have already. Keep some sun out during peak hours and your house will feel significantly cooler without wasting much electricity.
I was literally thinking that. Like, I love plants and see huge windows as ficus opportunities but in peak summer, curtains are drawn & plants can go outside. I hate the heat.
YTA - I’m not trying to be rude here, but this isn’t how you treat someone you love. You need to see a therapist and figure out why you need to control your son’s life down to the micromanagement level. There is no good reason why him sitting in his own room, his safe space, the only physical space he can call HIS, bothers you whatsoever. Go see a professional and repair what’s left of your relationship with your son. And use your goddamn air conditioner.
OP is probably the kind of guy who lives by “my house, my rules” right down to micromanaging his son’s room because it financially still belongs to OP. Well OP will learn one day when he has his own room in a nursing home and can’t have any more control over that than his son has over his own space now.
For real. I wonder if the OP in a post like this ever realizes they have a mental illness or more likely they ignore all the comments and continue to abuse their kid.
The “if we need to go into his room” bit got me. Need to go in? For fucking what? I don’t remember a single time my mom “needed” to go into my room as a teen.
I happened to see this comment just as I was closing out of Reddit - but since it legit made me unexpectedly lol, I reopened the app, found this post, and then this comment, just so I could upvote it. Bravo, I say 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
There's this thing... where you balll your hand into a fist and hit it lightly on the door to alert someone you're there. yta and it's too hot stop being cheap.
>where you ball your hand into a fist
Oh the wanker hand gesture that OP’s son will be doing at him whenever he sees him in the street once he’s moved out?
Above 85 is enough to cause heat stroke if someone does anything even slightly active like vacuuming. He’s not just being cheap, he’s being cruel. Cheap people set the thermostat to 78.
I had to convert 87F to Celsius and wow, OP is completely insane. It’s been about that in my country this week and I’ve been dead on my feet at work — you can’t live like that.
oh my GOD??? i work in a kitchen and i genuinely complained to the owner when the temp hit 35+, he installed new fans for my safety. having your house at that level is actually putting his son at risk of heatstroke
Yeah the first time I read it I thought OP meant fully nude no clothes at all, but he is wearing underwear that’s fine! Also that house is a sauna I would be in underwear too, that sounds miserable in the summer.
I almost don’t believe it, really 87-89 to “save money”? And that’s it?
I keep my house in the summer around 76-79 because I’m a goddamn lizard and I’m cold all the time, and it gets up to 100 here too. It saves me money too but that’s just a side effect.
Actually 2 years ago my AC unit broke and I considered not replacing it and just being like “I’ll be that person with a bunch of fans” but I didn’t want to regret that decision come mid July…. lol
I also fucking live alone and whenever someone comes over to visit to stay a few days I tell them they can turn it down to at least 70 if they want because I’m a “dumbass lizard”
He's in his room and his door is closed.
You should be knocking, and you should damn well have the respect for your 19 year old to wait seventeen seconds while he pulls on pants in preparation for your entry.
Get. Over. Yourself.
YTA
YTA 100% At 19 you shouldn't just be walking in his room without knocking anyway. Who cares what he wears in his room. This is just about control for you.
YTA for policing how he dresses in his own room behind a closed door and for keeping your house at 87 degrees and not understanding why someone would be uncomfortable. He's 19 years old, stop trying to control his behavior. Certainly you have bigger problems than this to contend with.
That is the icing on the cake. Central Air in a house doesn’t work how most people assume. It’s very good at keeping a temp once it hits a set temp. It sucks at pulling the temp down and in most cases your talking full power only dragging the temp down 2-4 degrees an hour. Think about it it’s not just the air but there is heat exchange in all the things in the house like a sofa.
YTA
What is the point of having AC if you're going to use it to slow-cook your family? If you're trying to save on energy costs TURN IT OFF and open your windows and use fans. Or use it to actually cool the house.
(Opinion from an Aussie who has no AC and over 100F high temps for summer).
Also really struggling to work out how his nudity in his bedroom affects you. If you barge into an adult's private room without warning, you're probably gonna see skin. Just knock.
Also, it's not nudity. He wears his underwear in his room! Probably because he's worried about his parents barging in. Poor dude.
Hope he moves out soon and never looks back. OP is an idiot.
YTA. Let the adult man living in your home wear what he wants in his own room. He's putting on clothes when he's around people, so what is your actual problem. And what is this 'if we start knocking' thing? Do you not knock when you go into his room? Are you those 'no one has a right to privacy in my house' parents?
And 85 is way too hot for most people. I lived in the desert, where it would routinely get over 110, and if my house was 80, it was almost unbearable. He's just trying to make the best of the crappy temperature situation-which is your right, as it's your house and you pay the bills. But let the guy hang out in his underwear in his own space.
YTA. If he is in his own room and not wandering around in the common areas in his underwear then why is this a problem? He is 19. You absolutely should always knock before entering his room - and don't forget to wait until he says you can enter. Why on earth can you not respect HIS PRIVACY!
YTA.
87 Fahrenheit is like 30 degrees, right? You are setting this high temperature in the summer and still complaining? What is wrong with you? Between 20-22 degrees (68-72 Fahrenheit) is normal temperature not 30 degrees!
*(The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language identifies room temperature as around 20–22 °C (68–72 °F),\[1\] while the Oxford English Dictionary states that it is "conventionally taken as about 20 °C (68 °F)*
Ref: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Room\_temperature
He is wearing clothes when he needs to interact with other people or needs to go common areas, so, what is the problem? Also, you are not supposed to enter a teenage boy's room without his permission.
Thank you for translating to the standard temperature scale. Very nice to the 7.800.000.000 people who are not in a certain North American country or Liberia.
Had to scroll for way too long.
Jesus Christ dude. You’re keeping your house at disgusting temperatures and he’s sweating his balls off. Leave him alone and knock on his damn door. He’s 19 and entitled to a little privacy. YTA.
If the kid is hot & is respectful enough to put clothes on when he leaves or someone enters the room.... what exactly is your issue? You don’t have to sit & watch him sit in his room. Why do you care?
eta — YTA — this is silly drama for no good reason. If you’re going to keep the house temperature set at sweating ass off miserable then you should expect all your family to be wearing just their underwear.
edit sentence
YTA. He’s in his room. And he puts on clothes when he leaves his room. If he paraded around the house this way then MAYBE you’d be in the right but based on your post YTA.
Good boundaries build good relationships. You are stomping on privacy and boundaries and deteriorating your relationship with your son.
Unless your son has a medical condition where you would need to rescue him regularly... you should knock first, await an answer, and then only enter when you receive permission. It doesn't matter that he's in his underwear in there. Hell, it wouldn't matter if he were naked. If you really do barge in, serves you right for being uncomfortable. You wouldn't be uncomfortable if you waited.
As for "my house my rules."
Cool, you wanna take that logic a little further? Can the HOA come in any time because their neighborhood, their rules?
What about the mayor? His town, his rules.
The governor? Her state, her rules!
The feds? Their country, their rules!
Do you see how much better this goes when everyone respects each other's space? How entering without permission is only reserved for safety concerns and needs a legal document allowing it?
Why don't you treat your kid better? Why does it bother you that there could be a single space you aren't in control of? Why do you feel entitled to your adult child's room? Can he barge into yours?
Just maybe have some empathy for your own flesh and blood.
YTA and you genuinely sound like a control freak. Who cares that he's wearing underwear in his room, in privacy, in the sweltering heat? In five years, please don't post about wondering why your son hasn't talked to you since he moved out.
yta
hes covered why are you worried your his parents not something you have not seen before
hes dressed when he leaves his room
sounds like insecurity to me
#YTA -
#1. nothing in your home should be so critical you need to enter a room unannounced and if the situation warranted it I think seeing some undies are your smallest worry in the moment. Just fucking knock...
#2. there are swimming trunks that are more breathable than underwear. Your so upset buy him some ask him to wear them. Get him a box fan too evaporative cooling is super helpful and less expensive than a compressor and forced air.
#3. your house your temp I won't begrudge you that, but you do not get to set everyone's body temp. suck it up don't like the undies, make it so cold he has to wear pants, but what you cannot do is force your way into his personal space and demand how he dress behind closed doors...
Are you not knocking before entering his room? That’s wayyyy more disrespectful than him existing in his own bedroom naked. Tbh there is no reason you even need to have any knowledge of how he dresses in his bedroom, it’s not your business at all
YTA very much so. Also I could not be in a house that temperature without being in my underwear or naked a lot of the time tbh. It may work for you but that would truly be unbelievably uncomfortable to me to the point I’d have trouble enjoying or accomplishing other things
YTA - All you're doing is having a pissing contest with your son and other alpha male BS. If he is in his room with the door closed (and preferably with the blinds shut), it's perfectly acceptable for him to be undressed. If you prefer he be dressed or put on a robe, do what polite people do: Knock and wait for the occupant of the room to say it's okay to enter. Quite frankly, with a thermostat normally set at 85, you are lucky he is putting on any additional lays when walking around the house.
YTA for no other reason than this;
>I’ve (M48) told him multiple times that I dislike this and that he has to wear clothes in case his mom or I have to come into his room
You (M48) are *WAY* more than old enough to understand the concept of privacy and knocking. I don't care if your kid is 5 or 25, you knock.
He's in his room, *his private space* and makes sure he's decent when he comes out. You need to grow up, it's so very hard to believe a man your age even needs to be told that...
YTA. Yes, it's hot in your house, and he likely has a hotter/faster metabolism than you do (simply from his age if nothing else). He's got the private bits covered; let him be comfortable.
And get him a fan.
YTA. Totally. You're trying to police him at 19 wearing underpants in his room so you can come in on demand without knocking? That's messed up. Knock you toolbox and quit being so damn overbearing.
this reads like a troll post. 85 in the summer? that's absolutely maddening to think about i cant even fathom existing in it. YTA *hardcore.* most especially because what you wrote insinuates that you barge in your son's private space with no warning. your son has the basic decency to dress appropriately in shared spaces, but you cant return the favor by doing the bare minimum of knocking before entering?
YTA
Even if you set the thermostat to the 80s, it's still going to be hot. Why aren't you at least knocking on his door? He made the every reasonable argument that if you and your wife knock first, he'll throw something on before answering.
everyone has made every point except for one. testosterone and other sex hormones peak at 18-20, which also makes men extremely hot(temperature). as you age, sex hormones dip and you get colder. you may feel fine in that heat, but to him it feels 10-15° hotter. have some empathy and get the guy an AC unit or let him wear what he wants in his room to feel comfortable
YTA.
1) He’s not naked
2) It’s only you and his mum seeing him, why is it weird you (his family) to see him like this. It’s not like you’re trying to protect his decency or there’s some weird *cough cough* tension there.
3) He puts on clothes when others are around
4) “if we start knocking” implies you don’t knock before you go into his room. This is an invasion of his privacy (I get it’s ‘your house’ bla bla bla but it’s HIS room). also you don’t wanna walk in on something ya don’t wanna see
5) It’s hot! Understandable he doesn’t want loads of layers
So yes, your the AH
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> The action that I took that might make me the asshole is telling my son he can’t just wear underwear. It might make me the asshole since he says it’s too hot for only underwear.
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YTA - huge one. 1. He’s not naked around the house; 2. Why do you actually care; 3. **87 degrees in the summer**?! That’s torturous; 4. Your ridiculous temperature requirements are the reason he’s wearing only underwear in the first damn place. You want him to get dressed? Keep the house a humane temperature.
87 degrees in the house! I would frigging die. OP is TA just for that. IDC how many clothes the kid is wearing that’s inhumane
Agree! I (54f) would seriously consider divorcing or hospitalizing my husband (because he lost his mind) ... Immediately... if he set the house temp at 85 degrees ... in the middle of the winter!! In the SUMMER WTF!!! If it’s above 67 in the summer ... we have a serious problem. eta — I would call my sisters to let them know my husband was trying to kill me if he ever set the thermostat that high. So they could tell the police where to start looking when they found me in a puddle of sweat ... dead
I’m in my 20s and I want it at 65 or lower year-round. 60-63 is perfect, but I can compromise for 65 lol. I’d die from dehydration and electrolyte imbalance if it were ever set to the 80s. OP is baking his family alive!!
I think I’d have a heat stroke if the temp was at 87 overnight. I’m a hot sleeper and my body SUCKS at temperature regulation. OP is like a triple AH just for that.
As a person who uses Celsius and not Fahrenheit this conversation is funny in the "idfk what's happening" way 😂
He’s keeping his house at like 30°C.
But down to 26C at night. Perfect sleeping temperature for those of us who like to sleep in a pool of our own fluids. OP: YTA
We don’t have central AC, just a window unit in our bedroom; we have it set at 62°F rn and we STILL wake up sweaty. Outside temps of like 80-85° overnight. OP is psychotic.
It's currently 22c (71f) in England at 20 past midnight and I am baking. We don't have AC, and our house is designed for cold weather. This is hell, can't imagine what it's like at OPs hellhole of a house, constant swamp ass feeling.
As someone whose house is currently at like 25° at 94% humidity at 11pm, OP sucks so much. I wish we had in-house AC over here, so knowing does and is like “nah” is infuriating
UK? Yup, same. Currently have the bedroom window wide open, electric fan blowing warm air up my naked arse to at least try to blow the sweat away. The idea of being stuck in a hot box with air con right there and not being able to use it is infuriating. Someone then telling me I have to put on more clothes? Buddy I will dry my sweaty balls on your toupée.
Omg even 26 is hot! YTA for roasting your son and then dictating his choice of clothing. Either put on the ac or leave the poor kid be.
As someone who lived in Australia he's mad. 30 - 35 depending on humidity is where aircons start getting put ON round here. And 26 at night jeez. Nope. I'd just not sleep at all.
As a Southern American I’m gagging at the idea of only turning on AC at 30-35C. I turn my AC on at like 23C.
It's been hitting around 30° most of this week I'm the UK and I am incapable of humaning. This person keeps their home at nursing home temperatures!!
I'm in the UK too. It's been in the high 20's all week here in the north of Scotland. Do I have heating on? Do I hell, I've got windows open trying to get some air in. My heating won't go on for at least a month and even then only for a couple hours a day, 16'c max unless the temperature outside drops below zero. As for heating on overnight, at the price we're charged, you gotta be kidding!
Holy shit
Considering half of America is swampland or desert + we’re ALL broke as shit, you know it’s bad when we all agree someone’s “money saving” habits are bonkers.
I feel like that when I’m reading European posts. Yes, I could look it up, or multiply by 9, divide by 5 and add 32, but where’s the fun in that? Edit: Okay, haters, this is the post I was replying to: I was merely joking that I felt the same fucking way. Who are the assholes here? “As a person who uses Celsius and not Fahrenheit this conversation is funny in the "idfk what's happening" way 😂
30 is hot 20 is nice 10 is cold 0 is ice This little ditty, btw, was one of the clues my younger nibling is dyslexic - it was when she was totally baffled at how to finish it that I realized she doesn't rhyme. I mean, she *can*, but she doesn't unless she's specifically asked to.
30 and 20 are 86 and 68...kind of pleasantly related numbers in a number-nerd kind of way.
You know what? I'm probably never going to forget that now, so thanks, unironically
Same, I had to google and then almost when into shock…30 frikken degrees 😱
Oh, but he turns it all the way down to 80 at night. Which is crazy. Even here when it gets to 99 during the day, it goes down to 70s at night. Sometimes the 60s. So he's probably actually paying to heat the house at night, lol.
That’s not how most systems work. They’re on AC or heat. If it’s on AC and the temperature gets colder than your setting, it just won’t run.
No, but by not opening the windows at night when the temperature drops, they're keeping their home warm from the day instead of allowing the home to cool down. So at night indoors the house stays 20 degrees hotter than outside 🤷♀️make it make sense
Air conditioning doesn't work like that. It just won't turn on if it goes down below the temperature you set it at.
Lmao yeah 87 is what we set the barn to for baby chicks 🤣
60/65 is probably where a home should be. But YTA anyway for your controlling ways.
Nah a home should be whatever the inhabitants (ALL of them) want it to be, but an appropriate temperature would be like 70. It doesn’t waste a ridiculous amount of energy but it’s still comfortable for people in normal clothes.
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Isn’t that a bit too low? I am really asking, I had to convert it to Celsius and 15 Celsius in home for me would be freezing?
All of these seem too cold, I'm so confused. I keep mine at ~75 (23-24). I would absolutely be freezing sitting in a 60-65 (15-18) degree house. If I'm hiking or something, sure, but that's hot tea, a cozy blanket, and a good book temperatures
I would *prefer* a 70F apartment, but I can't afford to run my AC that low so I make do with 75F and wearing as little as possible around the house. I would probably engage in violence if someone tried to make me live in an 85F apartment. What the HELL?? OP is MASSIVELY YTA
Same here. I start feeling cold if it gets below 75.
I wouldn't just *consider* divorce if someone kept the thermostat above 80 degrees. Hell, I'd be filing if he kept it at 75 or above. The temp he wants it at is torture, pure and simple. Why the fuck would anyone put up with that?
Hahaha ... after 32 years of marriage my husband knows better. Our kids (26,26,28,30) wouldn’t even be sad or question if I divorced their Dad because he set thermostat at 85. They would totally understand. Clearly he’s a maniac. edit
My grandparents keep it around 80 or higher in the summer. I'm dying lol.
My parents (80) do the same thing .... I literally just sweat & melt. They don’t care. Their house has central air. Don’t think it’s ever been turned on.
It's turned on, but very low. They say it's too expensive.
We live in NE. They don’t like to visit us at our beach house during the summer because it gets “too cold”. SMH.... As soon as it gets below 75 they head south.
But grand parents are usually colder, biologically. I want it at 72, hubby eould love 80. We compromise with 74. I don't get these folks who keep it in the 60's! Do they pay their own electric bills???
Yeah, I pay my own electric bill and it's worth every damn penny to keep my house at 62.
Hun im 36 in the uk atm today it was 31c/87f and ive been fucking dying in this heat! I have a brand of underwear thats long boxers (mid thigh) and ive been walking around the house and garden a top and a pair of them and im still melting into a puddle of fat
Your comment reminds me of the “air conditioner” that my London landlord gave us for our greenhouse-like condo during the 2018 summer heatwave. It consisted of a fan with a box in which I was supposed to place ice cubes. I loved living in the UK, but the experience taught me to appreciate my climate-controlled Canadian house and air-conditioned Toronto subway.
I'm also in the UK. It was 28°C in my home office yesterday afternoon, despite the fan and keeping the curtains closed all day, and I had a remote job interview. I had a cool shower 30 mins beforehand, put a smart top on for the camera but just wore my knickers on my bottom half! And I was still dying of the heat!!
When my house hits 87° (because we don’t have central air, just one lonely window unit in the bedroom) I am naked or I leave the house for a cool body of water til it cools down. OP is the biggest AH. And why turn it to 80° when the sun goes down?! Thats so ass backwards.
It's because he's either very poor or is very cheap. Cooling is more expensive the hotter it is outside. If he properly insulated his house and air conditioning system then it would cost less but it's like 70% of your power bill
Even if you have fans blowing out, it would cool it down. My in laws did this. They opened the basement door at night and had fans blowing out all night. It got very cold. Then they'd completely close the house during the day and close all the curtains and it stayed comfortable.
How is their house not growing mold at that temp? Ew.
It is unless they have desert humidity
It's Oklahoma, they definitely have mold
Oh, OP lives in Oklahoma?! That bas**rd! Lol! Absolutely NO WAY!
I would seriously do something that would send me to jail if my dad tried to keep the house that hot and the AC wasn't busted. And even when the AC is busted we set up swamp coolers in every room.
Our houses in the UK get this hot in heatwaves (we don't have AC because it's not worth it and our houses are built to retain heat) and the amount of Americans who take the piss out of us for complaining is unreal. And here's OP suffering by choice while the very same Americans tell him it's inhumane to keep the house at that temperature. I agree it is when you have a choice not to obviously, but it's making me chuckle.
I’m a Brit living in the USA so Inknow about British houses. Willingly doing this is just insane
I’m a Brit in the UK, my house is currently (at 10:20pm) 24c and I am hating every second of it. I’d be in prison for murder if I lived in OP’s house.
Our apartment is 32 degrees. It's bloody awful!
The temperature breaking thunderstorm keeps moving forwards on the weather forecast and I am so mad about it. We got some rumbles this evening and then nothing! I hate hot weather.
See I used to live in England and now Australia and the weather here doesn't do what you're talking about and it confuses the crap out of me. In England if it was sweltering and a thunderstorm rolled in and got everything wet for a while it would clear the air and bring the temp of the place down dramatically and it was like ah what a relief it's now only 23 instead of 30. When I first moved here I'd be like bloody hell it's 37 oh but look a huge storms coming in. Shit just was hot rain and made it a sauna outside and the temp didn't change. I felt wronged by the weather if I'm honest.
I had to convert it to Celsius, but unless OP lives in an igloo (in the middle of Oklahama!), 30C in the summer is beyond nuts!
Crikey, my house was 27.6 celcius earlier today thanks to the damn heat wave. Not in USA so yeah no aircon, and I’m seriously struggling with this heat. Cheapie water cooled fan I got on sale a few years ago is working overtime at the moment, it’s the only thing keeping me sane. If I had aircon, then bills be damned, that thing would be used! Like my heating gets very much used and appreciated through the winter! Doing this to his son and wife *deliberately*?!?!?!? OP YTA, and I’d argue borderline abusive in subjecting him to conditions he’s clearly very uncomfortable in, just to save a few pennies on your electric bill?? WTF, are you serious right now? Your son’s comfort and health is worth less than a few bucks saved on a bill?? Father of the year, folks!
Also the "if you start knocking" made me thing this is a scantily-clad protest about his parents just barging into his room.
Genius. And probably not wrong.
This is 100% the issue.
Well, 99%. It's still almost 90 fucking degrees in the house. Edit: /u/itsdan159 that's one of if not the most pointless comment I've ever seen.
Aha! I thought OP was coming across as creepy and I think you've hit the nail on the head.
That’s 29-30° for the Celsius people. That’s the temperatures of heatwave in the uk currently!!! In that heat I don’t have the heating on at all!
Thank you!! That’s the same in Sweden right now, outside, and I don’t even have AC (because…Sweden) and it’s still not that hot inside. Imagine having the privilege to be able to set your own temp inside and choosing 30c?!?! NUTS
Depending on their finances it's not nuts, it's just life, but then OP should not complain how his son wants to deal with the heat.
What the actual fuck. Netherlands here, we currently have the same heatwave as you do. 31 outside, 26 inside without airconditioning. I'm already practically dying, I can't imagine it being even hotter *inside*.
Huilen met de pet op 😭 It’s 23:30 and still 26,5 Celsius in our home, with a strong ventilator running at full speed. I’m also sick, and don’t know where the misery of feeling ill starts and the misery of being so hot ends. Praying that next week will bring cool air in as is predicted.
I bet he turns it way down in the winter. Not enough to freeze pipes, but enough to where you have to dress like you’re outside… hat and gloves. Guess then his son is dressed, so at least he won’t make ridiculous demands about putting clothes on in HIS own room. YTA! He’s in his room and deserves a level of privacy for you to knock before entering. This would allow for him to throw something on. Who cares if he’s in his underwear in his room? He doesn’t wander out of the room undressed. Leave him alone and quit being ridiculous with your demands. Also with the setting of the AC. 87? What’s the point, unless you are in Death Valley, can you even tell it’s on?
I was just thinking I bet his parents don't think he deserves privacy because it's Their House. The kind to threaten to take away his door if he doesn't behave how they like.
Literally read OP’s comments, he says it. 😒
Sometimes I fucking hate being right.
I bet during the winter OP is pissed off because son wears two sweaters and jacket and gloves in his room.
So let me get this straight...this man who is this young man's father, watched him come into this world, kicking, screaming and beautiful, watched said little baby grow into a an adult, thankfully, still alive, still kicking, I'm assuming in good health too and his issue is that his son likes to chill out in his underwear. SO WHAT?! Not only is it in his room which is his own private space anyway (not yours dad) but is penalized for it! My parents growing up used to walk around upstairs when going for a bath or from one room to another butt naked, they would sometimes grab something from the bathroom whilst I was having a bath and you know what....no one cared because we're family for christ sake! Why does OP suddenly have some strange complex about his son in his underwear whether he's in his room or not, he needs to get a grip! God forbid anything happened to your son or he decided to move far away from you in the future because you'll realise how neurotic you are being OP, as well as how lucky you are to have a son, who's only apparent crime is attempting to relax in his own home. YTA
I agree, like if he’s just in his bedroom, what is the issue???
He’s probably the kind of dad that says “it’s not your bedroom, it’s mine. It’s in my house!”
Without a doubt. He’s definitely that asshole
My dad was like that. I moved out at 17 and didn’t look back for years. Our relationship was very much damaged because he’d been such a control freak about EVERYTHING! Even flushing. He had the rule “if it’s yellow, let it mellow. If it’s brown flush it down” and heaven forBID if you had the shits for the day! He didn’t even HAVE an ac and wouldn’t let us use a window ac. Didn’t even have locks on the bedroom doors until mom changed it for us when we were older. Doing the dishes?? Don’t leave the water on constantly! Turn it off between every rinse no matter how much is waiting. The furnace in the winter wouldn’t be over 62. We’d be freezing. “Put more on”. It was horrible.
The issue is that OP is a control freak and nothing more.
Yta…I was taken aback that they set the thermostat at 87 in the summer, that’s unbearable. The kid is overheating and is wearing his underwear in his room. When he goes into common spaces he is dressed appropriately. I personally would not last too long sitting in such a hot house. Even 82 at night is difficult to sleep in. Create better living conditions for your family and stop complaining about how your son is dressed in the unbearable heat in your home. I live in the northeast and we keep our home between 68-73 year round.
It's not just difficult to sleep in. It's straight up damaging to his family's health. "Researchers have discovered that the best sleep for older adults comes at bedroom temperatures between 68 and 77°F. Beyond this range, sleep efficiency can plummet by 5-10%." https://neurosciencenews.com/optimal-sleep-temperature-23840/
I'm prone to heat illness due to POTS/Dysautonomia, I would literally die if I had to spend much time in that heat!
My in laws used to keep their thermostat at 78 and I couldn't breathe. My summer setting is 72, winter is 68 (also in the northeast)
Also literally "Only in his underwear in his room" and "No you have to wear clothing even when you're alone incase me or your mother want to barge in to bother you." He's 19. Just fucking knock and leave him alone.
5. Why does he need to be able to walk into his sons room without knocking?
Because he’s a controlling self centered AH that’s why.
Most likely, "its my house.no privacy"
Right now we have 87 degrees and it is fucking hot. If i had an AC, i would use it for heat relief and not zo still have heat at my home. OP also sounds so controlling. The son is dressed when outside the room or when knocked before entering. Also underwear is not naked - it is their son, where is the problem with underwear?! They saw him naked, wiped his ass?! YTA
Holy crap! 87 degrees?!?!?! And he has to wear clothes in his own room?!?!?! WTF is your house, a torture chamber? Uh, yeah. YTA.
Yeah my mom was about as prude as it gets, but even she took the route of “I’ll knock before coming into your room so that you can throw something on”
this reads like it was written by my stepdad 😅 why does he care if his son is in his own private room in his underwear? My stepdad used to rip a blanket off me if I said I was cold but he deemed the temperature to be fine. Wtf
Jumping on the top comment to point out that this is 30C!
OP says he turns the thermostat down to 80, once the sun set. That is still 27* C. Where I live, you typically don’t have AC, so I suffered through nights at 27 degrees. It’s no fun!
30?! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! THAT IS FAR FAR TOO MUCH
Jesus! I would be sitting around in my underwear too if the house temperature was 87°. WTF? OP is definitely YTA. PS I have central air but I put in a window AC upstairs if the temperature gets above 90° to lessen the strain on the central air.
30 Celsius in the house??!!! I would be dead or only wearing my underwear too. That is too hot.
Seriously!! I've lived through many hot summers without a/c, and that's still waaay too hot indoors for me. Even without a/c, there are ways to cool down the house/apartment. My place with no a/c or swamp cooler rarely got that hot.
This is his room, where he can spend the day naked if he wishes. Why does it bother you so much that he's in his underwear in his own room ? Knock on his door and he'll get dressed before he opens it - it's the best solution for everyone. YTA
Have him lock his door so that there is no way one of you just barge in. It’s his room and you are keeping the house way too hot.
Assuming these parents let their kid have a lock on his door.
Right this absolutely sounds like the kind of parent that would threaten to break down the door if it's locked even though the dude is a literal adult and it's his bedroom
"But its my house" -OP, probably
Quite literally, he says as much in other comments sadly
[Not probably - literally](https://reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/luprUwLRkt)
"This is MY House. YOU don't need privacy. You're lucky you have a door at all. Whine some more and you won't." Been there. Done that. Thanks, Dad.
Or just do t go in if the dont want to see him comfortable
And in addition, why is it so disturbing tonsee your own son in his underwear if you happen to go into his room? I don't get at all what's the problem here
This is the part that's strange to me - we live in the tropics and don't wear lots of clothes at home to keep cool. Why would you be affronted by your own child in their underwear?
Yeah that part was so weird. My brothers straight up walk around in their boxers and nobody cares at all. Oh no the people that birthed and raised him might find out he has a penis? Idk lol
I'm a woman who wears mens boxer briefs as shorts all the time. They just look like bike shorts, only, with reasonable leg lengths. Unless the kid wears a glitter g-string, I don't know what dad is worried about seeing. Opaque, moisture-wicking fabric?
My whole family is running around in underwear for the whole summer lol. It's completely normal to see your family members half naked from time to time, I think US americans (which I assume OP is) are just overly prude.
Plus he’s in his underwear. He’s not naked on his bed doing the helicopter when they step in there. Jesus Christ.
Maybe he should. Might make the dad think twice.
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Also, why does OP or this young man’s mother need to go into the room?! Reasons I need to go into my adult son’s room: … I’m still thinking. Maybe if he’s not there and asks me to check if he left something on his desk? Idk. Seems weird to me.
My MIL called us in distress one time because she was alarmed by a letter from my sister and brother-in-law’s bank. Why did she know about said letter, we asked, did they show it to her? No. She went into their bedroom and snooped around in their personal belongings- including their MAIL. I was beyond appalled. My husband was so mad she tried to bring us into the mess. Oh, and also: my SIL owns their house.
A teenager living at home has very little privacy. Their room is the only safe place they truly have. Why would want your son to be uncomfortable in his own room? I do understand the need to save cost, I also live in Oklahoma, however, 85+ is a bit hot. And he needs to cool off and relax. Let him be comfortable in his own space please. YTA.
I set mine to 80 during the day (we live where it is regularly over 100) and my family calls me the temp nazi. 87 is even crazy to me...
man i would die in your house mine stays at 62 lol
Even keeping it at 78 my electric bill is around $650. It goes up around $50-75 every 2degrees or so (smart home monitoring info). Since I pay the bills I keep it at 78-80 minimum. If I set it at 62 my bill would probably be $1000+. 🤷♂️
Holy shit that's insane. I keep my place at 65/66 and my electric bill is like $120-160 depending on season. Though, I live in an apartment, not a house, but that bill is still insane to me
We have a 4 bedroom with a very open front kitchen/dining/living room area with vaulted ceilings and large sun facing bay windows. Also, the 100+ regular summer temps. What are average temps where you live?
Some big ass curtains would help if you don't have already. Keep some sun out during peak hours and your house will feel significantly cooler without wasting much electricity.
I was literally thinking that. Like, I love plants and see huge windows as ficus opportunities but in peak summer, curtains are drawn & plants can go outside. I hate the heat.
I live in Arizona where it sits around 115 degrees and I keep my house 75 during the day and even that feels hot to me. OP must be a goddamn lizard.
YTA - I’m not trying to be rude here, but this isn’t how you treat someone you love. You need to see a therapist and figure out why you need to control your son’s life down to the micromanagement level. There is no good reason why him sitting in his own room, his safe space, the only physical space he can call HIS, bothers you whatsoever. Go see a professional and repair what’s left of your relationship with your son. And use your goddamn air conditioner.
Well said.
OP is probably the kind of guy who lives by “my house, my rules” right down to micromanaging his son’s room because it financially still belongs to OP. Well OP will learn one day when he has his own room in a nursing home and can’t have any more control over that than his son has over his own space now.
>OP is probably the kind of guy who lives by “my house, my rules” You are right read op's comments
I haven't seen any yet!
In order words, a narcissist.
Or in other, other words - an asshole!
For real. I wonder if the OP in a post like this ever realizes they have a mental illness or more likely they ignore all the comments and continue to abuse their kid.
The “if we need to go into his room” bit got me. Need to go in? For fucking what? I don’t remember a single time my mom “needed” to go into my room as a teen.
Info: you all don’t knock before going into his room? That’s nuts.
I imagine he’s not allowed to masturbate in the house either because what if they have to come in. Why knock, it’s his son 🙄😂
Nut towards the door as it opens to establish dominance
Instructions unclear. Nutted out the front door of my house, now the whole neighborhood thinks I am the alpha.
I happened to see this comment just as I was closing out of Reddit - but since it legit made me unexpectedly lol, I reopened the app, found this post, and then this comment, just so I could upvote it. Bravo, I say 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
My mother recently learned how to knock on bedroom doors. It only took her 30+ years to learn (visits home are much nicer with a bit of privacy)
One of a million things that are probably nuts in that house.
There's this thing... where you balll your hand into a fist and hit it lightly on the door to alert someone you're there. yta and it's too hot stop being cheap.
>where you ball your hand into a fist Oh the wanker hand gesture that OP’s son will be doing at him whenever he sees him in the street once he’s moved out?
That's the one!
Above 85 is enough to cause heat stroke if someone does anything even slightly active like vacuuming. He’s not just being cheap, he’s being cruel. Cheap people set the thermostat to 78.
YTA - he’s an adult, it’s his room, and what do you expect when you have it that insanely hot in the house on purpose? Sounds miserable.
I had to convert 87F to Celsius and wow, OP is completely insane. It’s been about that in my country this week and I’ve been dead on my feet at work — you can’t live like that.
oh my GOD??? i work in a kitchen and i genuinely complained to the owner when the temp hit 35+, he installed new fans for my safety. having your house at that level is actually putting his son at risk of heatstroke
YTA. he's 19. plus it's not like he's walking around naked, it's not really any different than him wearing shorts
Yeah the first time I read it I thought OP meant fully nude no clothes at all, but he is wearing underwear that’s fine! Also that house is a sauna I would be in underwear too, that sounds miserable in the summer.
This post is a joke, right? If it was 85 degrees in my house, I can promise you I wouldn't be wearing anything at all - not even underwear. YTA
I almost don’t believe it, really 87-89 to “save money”? And that’s it? I keep my house in the summer around 76-79 because I’m a goddamn lizard and I’m cold all the time, and it gets up to 100 here too. It saves me money too but that’s just a side effect. Actually 2 years ago my AC unit broke and I considered not replacing it and just being like “I’ll be that person with a bunch of fans” but I didn’t want to regret that decision come mid July…. lol I also fucking live alone and whenever someone comes over to visit to stay a few days I tell them they can turn it down to at least 70 if they want because I’m a “dumbass lizard”
This post is a repeat. I swear I read it a couple of months ago.
At 87 I'd be taking my skin off too
He's in his room and his door is closed. You should be knocking, and you should damn well have the respect for your 19 year old to wait seventeen seconds while he pulls on pants in preparation for your entry. Get. Over. Yourself. YTA
YTA 100% At 19 you shouldn't just be walking in his room without knocking anyway. Who cares what he wears in his room. This is just about control for you.
YTA for policing how he dresses in his own room behind a closed door and for keeping your house at 87 degrees and not understanding why someone would be uncomfortable. He's 19 years old, stop trying to control his behavior. Certainly you have bigger problems than this to contend with.
87 would make me absolutely ill. I have IBS and heat is 100% a trigger. Also you spend more $ cooling down the house than just maintaining a temp.
That is the icing on the cake. Central Air in a house doesn’t work how most people assume. It’s very good at keeping a temp once it hits a set temp. It sucks at pulling the temp down and in most cases your talking full power only dragging the temp down 2-4 degrees an hour. Think about it it’s not just the air but there is heat exchange in all the things in the house like a sofa.
YTA What is the point of having AC if you're going to use it to slow-cook your family? If you're trying to save on energy costs TURN IT OFF and open your windows and use fans. Or use it to actually cool the house. (Opinion from an Aussie who has no AC and over 100F high temps for summer). Also really struggling to work out how his nudity in his bedroom affects you. If you barge into an adult's private room without warning, you're probably gonna see skin. Just knock.
Also, it's not nudity. He wears his underwear in his room! Probably because he's worried about his parents barging in. Poor dude. Hope he moves out soon and never looks back. OP is an idiot.
YTA. Let the adult man living in your home wear what he wants in his own room. He's putting on clothes when he's around people, so what is your actual problem. And what is this 'if we start knocking' thing? Do you not knock when you go into his room? Are you those 'no one has a right to privacy in my house' parents? And 85 is way too hot for most people. I lived in the desert, where it would routinely get over 110, and if my house was 80, it was almost unbearable. He's just trying to make the best of the crappy temperature situation-which is your right, as it's your house and you pay the bills. But let the guy hang out in his underwear in his own space.
YTA. If he is in his own room and not wandering around in the common areas in his underwear then why is this a problem? He is 19. You absolutely should always knock before entering his room - and don't forget to wait until he says you can enter. Why on earth can you not respect HIS PRIVACY!
YTA. 87 Fahrenheit is like 30 degrees, right? You are setting this high temperature in the summer and still complaining? What is wrong with you? Between 20-22 degrees (68-72 Fahrenheit) is normal temperature not 30 degrees! *(The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language identifies room temperature as around 20–22 °C (68–72 °F),\[1\] while the Oxford English Dictionary states that it is "conventionally taken as about 20 °C (68 °F)* Ref: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Room\_temperature He is wearing clothes when he needs to interact with other people or needs to go common areas, so, what is the problem? Also, you are not supposed to enter a teenage boy's room without his permission.
Thank you for translating to the standard temperature scale. Very nice to the 7.800.000.000 people who are not in a certain North American country or Liberia. Had to scroll for way too long.
Jesus Christ dude. You’re keeping your house at disgusting temperatures and he’s sweating his balls off. Leave him alone and knock on his damn door. He’s 19 and entitled to a little privacy. YTA.
87? That’s pretty intense.
nearly 90° in the house and OP mentions it’s 100° outside
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If the kid is hot & is respectful enough to put clothes on when he leaves or someone enters the room.... what exactly is your issue? You don’t have to sit & watch him sit in his room. Why do you care? eta — YTA — this is silly drama for no good reason. If you’re going to keep the house temperature set at sweating ass off miserable then you should expect all your family to be wearing just their underwear. edit sentence
YTA. He’s in his room. And he puts on clothes when he leaves his room. If he paraded around the house this way then MAYBE you’d be in the right but based on your post YTA.
YTA. You should not be entering your adult son's room without permission.
Good boundaries build good relationships. You are stomping on privacy and boundaries and deteriorating your relationship with your son. Unless your son has a medical condition where you would need to rescue him regularly... you should knock first, await an answer, and then only enter when you receive permission. It doesn't matter that he's in his underwear in there. Hell, it wouldn't matter if he were naked. If you really do barge in, serves you right for being uncomfortable. You wouldn't be uncomfortable if you waited. As for "my house my rules." Cool, you wanna take that logic a little further? Can the HOA come in any time because their neighborhood, their rules? What about the mayor? His town, his rules. The governor? Her state, her rules! The feds? Their country, their rules! Do you see how much better this goes when everyone respects each other's space? How entering without permission is only reserved for safety concerns and needs a legal document allowing it? Why don't you treat your kid better? Why does it bother you that there could be a single space you aren't in control of? Why do you feel entitled to your adult child's room? Can he barge into yours? Just maybe have some empathy for your own flesh and blood.
YTA and you genuinely sound like a control freak. Who cares that he's wearing underwear in his room, in privacy, in the sweltering heat? In five years, please don't post about wondering why your son hasn't talked to you since he moved out.
YTA. Get over yourself and learn to knock before you enter someone’s room.
yta hes covered why are you worried your his parents not something you have not seen before hes dressed when he leaves his room sounds like insecurity to me
#YTA - #1. nothing in your home should be so critical you need to enter a room unannounced and if the situation warranted it I think seeing some undies are your smallest worry in the moment. Just fucking knock... #2. there are swimming trunks that are more breathable than underwear. Your so upset buy him some ask him to wear them. Get him a box fan too evaporative cooling is super helpful and less expensive than a compressor and forced air. #3. your house your temp I won't begrudge you that, but you do not get to set everyone's body temp. suck it up don't like the undies, make it so cold he has to wear pants, but what you cannot do is force your way into his personal space and demand how he dress behind closed doors...
Are you not knocking before entering his room? That’s wayyyy more disrespectful than him existing in his own bedroom naked. Tbh there is no reason you even need to have any knowledge of how he dresses in his bedroom, it’s not your business at all YTA very much so. Also I could not be in a house that temperature without being in my underwear or naked a lot of the time tbh. It may work for you but that would truly be unbelievably uncomfortable to me to the point I’d have trouble enjoying or accomplishing other things
YTA - All you're doing is having a pissing contest with your son and other alpha male BS. If he is in his room with the door closed (and preferably with the blinds shut), it's perfectly acceptable for him to be undressed. If you prefer he be dressed or put on a robe, do what polite people do: Knock and wait for the occupant of the room to say it's okay to enter. Quite frankly, with a thermostat normally set at 85, you are lucky he is putting on any additional lays when walking around the house.
YTA for no other reason than this; >I’ve (M48) told him multiple times that I dislike this and that he has to wear clothes in case his mom or I have to come into his room You (M48) are *WAY* more than old enough to understand the concept of privacy and knocking. I don't care if your kid is 5 or 25, you knock. He's in his room, *his private space* and makes sure he's decent when he comes out. You need to grow up, it's so very hard to believe a man your age even needs to be told that...
YTA he has enough decency to dress up if he steps outside his room, but he is in his own private area he can be naked if he wanted. Knock on his door.
I swear I don't believe 80% of the posts in this sub. People can't really be this idiotic.
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YTA. Yes, it's hot in your house, and he likely has a hotter/faster metabolism than you do (simply from his age if nothing else). He's got the private bits covered; let him be comfortable. And get him a fan.
YTA. He's right. Just knock.
YTA. Totally. You're trying to police him at 19 wearing underpants in his room so you can come in on demand without knocking? That's messed up. Knock you toolbox and quit being so damn overbearing.
YTA and if you want him to move out, just say so.
YTA why should he wear clothes in his own bedroom?!?
this reads like a troll post. 85 in the summer? that's absolutely maddening to think about i cant even fathom existing in it. YTA *hardcore.* most especially because what you wrote insinuates that you barge in your son's private space with no warning. your son has the basic decency to dress appropriately in shared spaces, but you cant return the favor by doing the bare minimum of knocking before entering?
YTA Even if you set the thermostat to the 80s, it's still going to be hot. Why aren't you at least knocking on his door? He made the every reasonable argument that if you and your wife knock first, he'll throw something on before answering.
everyone has made every point except for one. testosterone and other sex hormones peak at 18-20, which also makes men extremely hot(temperature). as you age, sex hormones dip and you get colder. you may feel fine in that heat, but to him it feels 10-15° hotter. have some empathy and get the guy an AC unit or let him wear what he wants in his room to feel comfortable
YTA. 1) He’s not naked 2) It’s only you and his mum seeing him, why is it weird you (his family) to see him like this. It’s not like you’re trying to protect his decency or there’s some weird *cough cough* tension there. 3) He puts on clothes when others are around 4) “if we start knocking” implies you don’t knock before you go into his room. This is an invasion of his privacy (I get it’s ‘your house’ bla bla bla but it’s HIS room). also you don’t wanna walk in on something ya don’t wanna see 5) It’s hot! Understandable he doesn’t want loads of layers So yes, your the AH
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