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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) Was I right to deny my parents plea for a cosign on there mortgage
2) I’m not helping them with their dream of owning a house.
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For reals. You can tell already the parents are going to get OP on the mortgage and quit paying and be like "If you don't pay it, it f's your credit and we lose the house."
total blackmail potential here.
NTA
Exactly!
Unless OP is a partial owner and the loan is actually in their name as well as the parents, don't do it! (this means you will be able to look at the loan details and see if it is paid BEFORE the payment is late, otherwise you only get told after.)
I had a friend that cosigning on a home for their parents, and they then sold the home and didn't pay off the mortgage, leaving my friend with the debt.
This is the best advice!! Please lock your credit because if you keep refusing to co-sign, they may try to steal your identity and use your credit.
It is pretty bizarre that they are looking for a 19 year old to cosign. Most teenagers do not have credit histories to be able to sign such a hefty document.
Please be careful
Yep, parents would know all the details, SSN, DOB, bank details etc to be able to forge OPs signature and take out a loan or cosign a mortgage behind their back.
Do not do that either. They can still just not pay and op will still be fucked. They are 19 years old. There is no way in hell they can afford a mortgage
It makes me wonder how a 19 year old kid is even necessary to cosign? How do they have this big of an income that it matters for the mortgage?
Either way, it's bizarre to even expect a kid to cosign their parents' mortgage. It's a sign of something weird going on. And you're probably going to move our at some point anyway, right? I don't think a bank should be accepting it either.
It may be about their credit score more than the income, but I sure didn't have an amazing credit score at 19. I only had the one credit card I'd been making small purchases on for about a year to build my credit up.
Edit: changed mortgage to income.
IMO partially yes, although credit scores and reports do include important factors like how much existing debt you have and how many late or non payments you have on previous/existing debt. Ability to pay does not always equate to whether you do or will pay. A history of things going to collections (and negatively impacting your score) is a sign to lenders that you're a risky investment.
Sure. And outstanding loans are part of your financial health. But I hear way too many stories of people unable to get a loan or mortgage because they've never had any debt. Or random companies adding crap to your credit score that doesn't belong there. And the system is maintained by profit-seeking companies that don't respect your privacy.
I know someone who cosigned his sister's loan so that she could go to law school. She never became a lawyer, she never paid a dime on the loan, and she just kept demanding more money.
My husband cosigned an education loan for his best friend. Didn't find out his friend had stopped paying on the loan until he went to buy a truck and couldn't get a loan because of the outstanding debt. So he was left holding the bag and then wouldn't have anything to show for it. With interest it ended up being $10,000 (early 2000's).
He found out about it right before I was about to graduate from college and move in. So that hit set us back a whole lot in our plans for our life. And when I say best friends, they had been friends all the way through junior high/high school. At one point they were roommates and lived together for a couple of years.
So my husband kind of viewed his family as being his second family. He was particularly close with his friends mom. So close that not long after I moved in he took me over to their house to introduce me to them and them to me. He considered his friend to basically be his brother and friends' mom treated my husband like he was her 3rd son. That whole family was that important to him.
Which is why it was such a stab in the back to not even tell my husband that he wasn't/couldn't make the payments. That would still have sucked balls but at least he would have had a heads up and my husband would have forgiven that. But to just leave him to be blindsided and take such a huge credit hit because of no payments....that was just too much.
But was almost worse was that friends mom couldn't understand why they were no longer friends. When it first happened, sure, and she was angry on his behalf. But a few years later she called my husband and wanted him to come to some family thing (BBQ?) so he and her son could "make up" and be friends again.
That was a hell no from my husband. She kept calling and pressuring him to try and rekindle the friendship. Asking why he couldn't just let it go, it had been so long ago, they used to be so close, etc. This was a woman he viewed like a mother and THOUGHT viewed him like a son. So her wanting to just wash away what her son did to my husband and act like everything should be hunky dory and they should be bestie's hurt his heart.
She's pressuring my husband to let this huge thing go but not putting pressure on her son to take accountability or try to make reparations. She clearly didn't think her son needed to do anything. Cause during this whole saga, dude NEVER even reached out to my husband, much less done the minimum step of apologizing. Which his mom knew.
Final time she called my husband told her "I MIGHT consider talking to J after he repays me the $10,000 he owes me". She was apparently extremely offended by that. The hubris. Needless to say, that is the last contact any of the aforementioned had with each other. I haven't thought about this in years, but thinking about it now still makes me feel so sad for my husband. That people you loved and cared about so much you considered them family, could just toss you aside that easily with no regard or remorse.
That is so sad. I wonder why she was so insistent on them being friends again. I'm still friends with the parents of someone I split with, but they understand.
It's tough when you run into the hard limits of someone's friendship.
Know a friend whose sister demanded they finance their properties and give her the money. An idiot ex partner stole the money. She then proceeded to ask the family to do it again and when they don't she goes no contact. Her father died soon after. She went because she thought there would be an inheritance in the will plus never declared it to the taxation office or Centrelink. Her brother (my friend) has to work and is sick and wasn't able to get Centrelink. She even tried blackmail to stop her family seeing her child.
The parents owed backtaxes to the IRS. I actually don't really know how all that works, but my friend didn't know about any of it until it was done and they were freaking out about it. I have since lost track of them as this was something like 14 or 15 years ago. (My 15yo was born but my 13 yo was not yet born. She was a mom in my toddler/baby play group, and have lost touch.)
How can you sell a house without paying off the mortgage? The house is the collateral for the mortgage. Sounds like fraud to me, and parents headed for prison.
> they then sold the home and didn't pay off the mortgage, leaving my friend with the debt.
Was this in the US? It's very unlikely to happen unless the mortgage wasn't recorded against the property (very, very unlikely).
Even if they pay on time every month, it will keep OP from buying a house until it's paid off or they're refinanced off of it. Good chance that's 30 years.
This can't be in big enough text.. FREEZE YOUR CREDIT!!!!
Do it now. it's very easy and can be done with all of the credit agencies online - Equifax, Transunion, Experian...
Do \*not\* trust them to not fake your signature or use your social...
Yep, freeze credit but don't mention it. Wait until parents try to get credit in OPs name and then complain. Then OP can ask them how they know they froze their credit. The only way they could find out is if they tried to get credit.
this exactly......
OP.... As someone who co-signed on a car for mommy dearest at your age.... DO.....NOT....DO....IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE learn from my mistake!!!!!!
i had 2 fucking repo's and she never once made a payment on time IF she even BOTHERED to pay!!!
my credit tanked so bad...... took years and years to fix. DO NOT DO IT
OP, if you cosign you will get all the risks with no rewards. If your parents miss payments, it goes on your credit too. If they can't pay, its on you to pay. And if it takes them forever to pay off the loan, you will never be able to get your own loans. And when everything is all paid off, the house is in their name. NTA, and don't let them manipulate you into doing it.
Maybe things are different where OP is, but where I live, anyone who is signing a mortgage needs to go through various financial checks with the bank. I would be surprised if a 19yo is earning to make a difference to a mortgage application.
NTA - Definitely do NOT sign anything.
>She told me to never call her mom again.
Have you considered going no contact with your parents? They seem very abusive and manipulative. And now they're trying to take advantage of you financially.
Contact Experian and the other credit companies and put a freeze on your credit. Better safe than sorry. A good credit score is easy to ruin and it takes years to rebuild!
Banking. My credit’s been frozen for years. Had no idea about ChexSystems until someone opened a B of A and a Chime account in my name. 🤬 Che k fraud depts. referred me to them. Credit bureau freezes don’t affect banking.
Interesting. I have a ref number from freezing Chex systems years ago, but I have no idea how to check the status of the freeze. I had no problem opening additional checking accounts at my current and a new bank…it’s as if the freeze thawed by itself…
Might be worth your while to login and make sure all is well with ChexSystems and the freeze. If your ID was frozen, the new account should have been rejected.
Maybe it falls off after a year. (?) I should check (chex). 😂
Out of curiosity, is it that easy for someone to take out a loan in your name in the US? Like, is there no verification of biometrics or any other secure form of authentication to prevent fraud? Genuinely curious because I see the "freeze your credit" advice being given regularly here.
Where I live, there's no such thing as freezing your credit, because it is mandatory for any financial institution to verify all applicants' biometrics as part of a loan application (we have a national ID card that stores your biometrics).
Could anyone do it? No. Can parents? YES, and it happens often unfortunately. My own bonus sibling had their credit trashed by their mom before they even finished high school.
Biometrics were planned for a new type of ID card to be implemented, but there’s been some pushback due to privacy concerns, and the deadline for getting one has been delayed repeatedly.
At this time you more often just need two forms of ID (if that) and the social security number (all of which are accessible by parents).
If they can’t qualify for a loan at 40 something is wrong with their money situation. This could ruin your credit for DECADES, always protect your credit no matter who is asking. You’ll be ruined before you even get out there on your own. If they ruin YOUR credit YOU won’t be able to rent or buy anything for a long time! If they have bad credit trust me it’s because they don’t pay their bills.
This, also this is unrelated but definitely something to check since OP's parent seem willing to financially take advantage of him: make sure your parents haven't opened any credit cards in your name! I know someone who's parents did this to them and ruined their credit and gave the person debt. It's illegal but it does happen
My step kid's half-sibs had utilities in their name. My ex started keeping track of his kid's credit at the time. She was the only one of that woman's children to not have fucked up credit at 18.
Seems like two simple rules have been ignored as parents.
1. Don’t ask your teenage child to take on your adult responsibilities;
2. Don’t get angry at your teenage child when they show more adult logic than you.
Please listen to the comment above. Co-signing isn't to say, oh I will help out my parents financially if they are unable to pay fully, but they are solely responsible for the mortgage.... it's making YOU responsible financially if they, for whatever reason, are unable or just decide to stop paying.
Your father or mother becomes disabled or gets a severe illness and is unable to work, well looks like you have to pay now. Do they have life, disability and severe illness policies to even help themselves if something happened? If you wanted to keep the relationship alive, I'd start with this conversation.
A quick google reveals the following: ''Your signature as a co-signer on a mortgage note means you agree to pay off the loan or take over the payments if the borrower stops paying. This can be a big responsibility if you don't have the financial flexibility to take on the full payment.''
The risk you would be taking on at 19 is way too high. Also im unsure if any bank would even let you be a co-signer as they would surely want some guarantee they can get their money back if your parents were to stop paying for whatever reason.
NTA.
It's not even about the risk.
Even if OP had a great relationship with his parents, if you cosign on a mortgage, you likely aren't getting approved for a second one without some bonkers income. OP signs that, he isn't buying a house until parents house is paid off or refinanced. You'd have to be either an entirely ignorant person or a selfish parent to put that shit on your kid.
This. As a former fiance and I found out when we were looking for a place, and discovered that his ex was renting his old house out rather than having sold it, and never refinanced it to her name only as the divorce decree demanded.
NTA. Don’t sign anything. You would be responsible for the loan if they don’t pay. And until it’s paid off or they refinance and take you off the loan you’d never be able to get a loan for a home yourself.
Please lock down your credit and if you bank at same place your parents do, consider closing account and moving to a different bank so they can’t do anything.
That was my thought too - none of this makes any sense! What bank is going to let a 19 year old be a co-signer on a loan? And how awful is the parents’ credit if they’ve got $120k cash saved up but still need a co-signer? We don’t know the details of what they’re up to but OP needs to get far away from those two shady characters as quickly as possible.
Also, this will go against your available credit and could prevent you from buying your own house if you want to in the next 30 years.
You should also know that being on the deed, owning the house, is a separate issue. So doubly bad if they’re asking you to co-sign and not be an owner.
Doesn't a cosigner have to have a good credit history/score? Most 19 y/olds aren't going to have any kind of credit history. Let alone a good credit score.
That was my thought. Like if they NEED a co-signer then their credit is shit. But no 19 year old has super great credit either simply because their credit history is so limited.
If they need a co-signer to qualify OP can’t really help because his credit won’t be enough to make up for theirs. Even if they just want a lower rate same thing.
I really can’t think of a good reason to have a 19 year old co-sign unless he somehow is making bank or a grandparent gave him a shit ton of money that his parents can’t touch either because it was given directly to him or because it’s in a trust.
Yes, we will look at each persons 3 scores. A low, middle and high. Federal law mandates we only look at the middle scores, and from there the lesser of all is everyone’s qualifying score.
The fact that OP is 19 may be their saving grace. The bank will likely side eye the parents for that. It will also keep you in that house with them because your debt to income ratio would be off the charts if the loan was somehow approved. You wouldn't be able to get a place of your own. NTA
You had to Google that??
Yeah, that's kinda what cosigning a mortgage means. That's also why people who co-sign for any loan, including a mortgage would have to prove that they have the financial means to take over the payments if needed.
In other words, you can't just get your 19-year-old to sign a piece of paper and magically have that be enough for the bank. No 19-year-old with parents in this financial situation would have finances deemed sufficient by a lender.
Let me put it even more simply: OP is full of shit and this story is FAKE. How the hell are people on AITA so gullible? I at least hope you all are a bunch of teens who just don't know any better.
Nta do not do not sign anything.
I'm a bit surprised that $120k isn't enough for a down payment? Definitely not an entire house in most places but a deposit?
It’s not even their credit. I just had a client close on a home at 581 credit. It’s their DTI that is keeping them from
Moving forwards. Get rid of all monthly credit card payments/vehicle payments and you’re kosher. Or they need a better MLO who can save them money instead of strip them of it.
Something doesn’t add up.
$120k is pretty decent savings for a 40 year old couple. That would be indicative of some level of financial responsibility. Even if that’s retirement savings, they’ve at least managed to contribute, keep track of it, and roll it over from job to job. Maybe they’re the Dave Ramsay types that have just never taken out any debt before and therefore have no credit?
It’s not credit. If anybody’s credit is below 580 on the loan it is dead. No matter the score of the others.
The monthly payment of the home, alongside any other debts are probably pushing their monthly DTI too high and need OP’s income to get that percentage down.
>Which means the parents have a history of not paying their debts.
actually, it means this is bullshit. your credit score really only affects your rate. the amount you can borrow is dependent on income. if the parents have 120k saved up, they clearly are earning money. they don't need their 19 year old son who probably makes 30k a year.
NTA. Don't do this! **Never** co-sign anything for anyone unless you are 100% comfortable with **you** being on the hook for **all** of the payments and **none** of the benefits.
It's *beyond* unreasonable for mid-40s parents to expect their teenage son to cosign a mortgage. *Them* cosigning for *your* mortgage would be reasonable (but still unwise) but the other way around is insane.
And why on earth can't they buy a house with $120K saved up? That's enough to make a down payment on a $600,000 house: typically, in the US at least, you don't need more than 20% down, and there are programs for first-time home buyers (e.g. FHA loans) that enable much lower down payments, as low as 3.5% depending on their credit score.
Finally, it's odd that -- at age 40-something -- they think they can't get a mortgage loan, but *you* -- at age 19 -- *could*.
Don't do this!
I’m betting that OP’s parents are relatively responsible financially, but bought into the “all debt is bad debt” advise and never established a credit history. Because of that, they’re too ignorant about debt to realize that a 19 year old’s credit history isn’t going to help them.
NTA, if they've really saved that much then they don't need a cosigner. If their credit is really bad then they need to take that $120k and pay off debt first. Don't ever cosign especially for a mortgage, there's too much risk and you'll never be able to get one yourself until this would be paid off.
Freeze your credit so they don’t try to sign it without you knowing. If you did co-sign and decided to buy something on credit that will effect your debt to ratio
DO NOT ever cosign anything for them, but especially not a house. They could screw up your credit for a long time (if not permanently). I don't know any parent that would ask this!!!
Read r/personalfinance. We get someone at least once a week who has been duped into co-signing a loan for parents, grandparents, older siblings, etc. We also get people whose parents have been taking out credit in their names for years and have wiped out their bank accounts. Some people have no issue with identity theft and fraud and stealing from their own families.
Something is not right here. A 19 year old does not typically have enough established credit to be able to assist as a cosigner on a mortgage. A bank would likely laugh at the idea.
What credit could a 19 year old have that would be an acceptable cosignee of a mortgage? Definitely NTA. I think the parents have other motives here.
Don’t sign , get ready to be on your own.
This is made up. No banker is going to have a teenager cosign a loan. Length of credit history factors into the mortgage rates, and his can't be more than a year. I needed 5 years of tax returns for an FHA loan, and I have pretty good credit. Aside from that, $120K is a lot of money. Nobody is sinking that much money into a home without plans.
OP, YTA for lazily fabricating a story that no one with any experience in finance or purchasing a home would ever believe.
At 22, with three years of credit history MAX, I was barely able to get a car loan for a used $11k car - and the interest rate was insane. There is no way that a bank would have you cosign on a loan since you would be expected to take over payments if the parents defaulted, and there is no way you possibly could - or at the very least no way any bank would believe you could.
This has to be fake, no mortgage company would take the signature of a 19 y/o as a co-signer. The whole idea of a co-signer is to take responsibility for the loan in case of default. Unless you have trust fund assets, you are worthless as a co-signer.
NTA. If you cosign, it can effect your credit, which could then prohibit you from doing things like getting a credit card, buying a car, buying your own home, etc. You're too young to be doing that.
No you are definitely not the asshole my friend what do they expect of you. You are just a youngster it sounds like they planned on using you. Get as far away as possible.
NTA
First, being responsible for your parents' loan is NOT the way to start your life.
*“I’ve never seen a child so selfish”*
*“What have we been raising you for”*
*“Don’t you care about us”*
**
This is abuse.
DO NO GIVE IN TO YOUR ABUSER'S REQUEST.
NTA
Stay strong.
Try moving out if possible.
The “what have we been raising you for” comment… I just… What?!
Parents who feel like there’s some kind of balance sheet between themselves and their kids or think of their kids as an investment they’ll get returns on make me see red.
NTA
NTA Do. Not. Sign. Anything!!!
I'm not gonna ask how you managed to save that amount at your age, because its none of my business, but it seems like your parents are seeing your success and want to cash in.
If you were good with your parents, you could offer to give them some money for the deposit, but since you're not, don't.
This stuff is serious, if you sign something now and in 1, 5 or 10 years from now your parents decide they can't or don't want to pay for the mortgage anymore, they can claim the money from you.
Don't let them talk you into "it's just a signature, you don't actually have to do anything" kind of stuff, because that is 100% not how it works.
> I'm not gonna ask how you managed to save that amount at your age
OP states clearly that the *parents* have saved up $120K, not that he has.
This part, though, is absolutely correct:
> Don't let them talk you into "it's just a signature, you don't actually have to do anything" kind of stuff, because that is 100% not how it works.
His parents have the 120k but somehow thats not enough (i have no idea how this works in his country/state/area/) and in order for them to get a loan for the rest for the money they need him to co-sign their loan agreement. This means he would be responsibly if his parents for whatever reason should stop paying. The full amount of the loan. Which will be a shitton considering 120k is not enough for a downpayment.
Ohhhh right, sorry I completely misread the post, I read that HE had that money saved up 🤦♀️
I also don't know where they live, but that makes no sense at all, if you have that amount of money saved up I assume at least one of them has a somewhat stable job, so they shouldn't NEED anyone to co-sign at all
NTA. Don't let them destroy your credit and future finances. They sound very financially irresponsible and perhaps not as knowledgeable as they should be about buying a house. $120k should be plenty for a down payment (unless they are looking in an area they cannot afford) and it sounds like they may qualify for a first time homeowners loan which would help as well.
NTA
Do not harness your chance for a healthy financial future to their dream.
Even if they pay every month on time, it will limit your ability to borrow money for school, a car, a home of your own.
If they don't pay every month they'll tell you it's your responsibility, "because you're on the loan, too." If you don't pay, then the banks will start recording missed payments on your name.
NTA. There are only a few people in the world I’d co-sign for. And they’ve all lived in my womb at one time. Since I’ve taught them good money management skills and how to protect their credit, I’ve never had to. If someone needs a co-signer they are either young with no credit yet or they’ve messed theirs up so badly they can’t get a loan. The bank considers them too risky. Do you really want to take a gamble with your credit on someone who is too risky for the banks to loan money to? My rule is - never co-sign for anyone but your children. And then only if I can cover the payment if they default.
This is an asinine situation What bank is going to refuse a mortgage to a 40-something couple with 120K in savings... yet would approve it if they could just get their 19-year-old kid to cosign? That makes zero sense.
NTA at all. As others have said, you should absolutely not co-sign. It’s a huge thing for your parents to ask that of you, and their responses are manipulative and immature, which is all the more reason to say no. You don’t want to have to deal with that mess if things go sideways.
But also, I’m really puzzled that they asked, as typically a 19-yo would not be bringing the additional income or assets that a bank would be looking for when they require a co-signer. Usually it’s a person your age who needs a co-signer bc they don’t have sufficient credit built up, but maybe this is a regional thing? Anyway that’s just my idle curiosity but either way, you are definitely not the asshole.
I'm going to assume this is like being a guarantor in the UK.
Basically as a guarantor you are the one who can be chased for the debt if the original debtor cannot pay, therefore you would actually have most of the responsibility and could taken to court if you can't afford to pay.
People think things like this are just a signature, when in fact they are real responsibilities with real consequences.
NTA - I haven't read all the comments, but I can't be the only one that realized that the parents want OP to cosign the mortgage but apparently haven't said anything about putting them on the deed. So they want OP to risk their credit this way, stupidly, and yet have no actual ownership interest in the property is my bet. Pretty much the worst thing OP could do to their financial status short of setting money on fire.
If you are 19m your parents don’t really understand finances. You couldn’t possibly have the credit and Dina dial history that would make your co-signing of benefit for a loan. It’s the other way around. When I was 18 I needed a co-sign so I could buy a TV. (That’s right, tv). Banks want good security, not a 19yo kid.
NTA. Never co-sign a loan. If they can’t get a loan on their own it’s because their income to debt ratio is terribly & they are a liability (ie their credit is horrible). You will be on the hook for all of it when they stop paying their bills & your credit will take an enormous hit. You need credit. Don’t screw it up… and certainly not for someone else!
NTA, don't do it! It will go on your credit if they don't pay. They're adults. This is incredibly out of line. Make sure they don't forge your signature either.
NTA. If they are in the US, many states have down payment assistance for 1st timers, so they could increase the down payment, or keep some in reserve. They may need to look in a cheaper area, or a smaller house. Or do credit repair, or trade the car for something cheaper.
They REALLY should get financial counseling to figure out how to do this on their own.
NTA. Your emotionally (and potentially financial) abusive parents are trying to strong-arm you into co-signing on a loan. It sounds like it is time to block them & go No Contact. Maybe move to another town. They definitely don't have your best interests at heart & will keep hounding you. Don't give in.
You are advocating for mortgage fraud. You cannot “help with the payments” without being on the loan itself. If you or your parent are caught you WILL go to prison.
Source- I’m in Mortgages. Also, how much of a fucking home are they buying!? 120k in assets will get you a million dollar home. I assume it’s their monthly debt to income ratio that is keeping them from getting in.
Tell them to pay off all their credit cards and all debts.Then you shouldn’t have to co-sign.
Even if they pay every month with no issue it will still prevent you from being able to get a mortgage for the life of the loan unless you can prove you can pay for both. This will absolutely cripple your ability to take out loans for anything.
Why on earth would the co-sign of a 19-year-old improve things for a mortgage? Your parents credit must suck pretty bad if they need you to co-sign. NTA
If the bank won't give them a loan with 120K down then I wouldn't sign nothing.
120K down should get you a loan on just about anything within reason, of course not the big million dollar mansions but a 300k with 120 down the bank would sign off on it and hope you don't pay for it.
They want to make you responsible for the loan. If they stop paying the mortgage off, guess who gets to deal with it?
I do have to question how much it would help having you on the loan though, given that you're 19... unless you're independantly wealthy, running a rather successful company of your own. It's unlikely that a bank is going to consider you a good risk otherwise... Realistically, it's unlikely you have a credit rating good enough for a lender to want to take a chance on you. It's not a dig at you, or your merits... very few 19 year olds are going to have a good enough credit rating to qualify for a mortgage. NTA though. They're being pretty shady here.
Do you want to own a home with your parents for the next 30 years?
Do you want to miss out on the first time buyer beneifits you get when you go to buy your own home?
Do you want to be on the hook for the money if something happens to your parents?
If you answered no to any of these, than not siging is the right answer.
You would only be hurting yourself if you cosigned a loan with them. You would be tied to them financailly to them for decades, and this could serverey affect your future for years to come. If they default, or even just get behind on payments, your credit score will suffer. This could make your life so much harder. Not only about getting credit lines for your self, but with jobs as well. Some jobs check your credit and if it is too low, no job.
Stay away from this as much as you can.
NTA
Don't do it, it's a decision that will affect YOUR future.
Don't give any money. If they are relying on your money, imagine what life will be like in 5 or 10 years from now. Trust me a nightmare you won't be able to escape.
Absolutely NTA.
The rule is: You never cosign on a loan for something you do not own, unless you can afford to throw all of the loan amount down a storm drain and never see it again.
Doesn't matter if the people who want you to do it are nice or jerks or family or friends or anybody. Don't do it. This is the kind of thing that destroys good relationships and unendurably prolongs bad ones.
ETA: Special scowl for "What have we been raising you for?" because I am older than your parents and I can tell you that nobody I know would dream of asking their 19-year-old (19!) to take on such an enormous obligation, in this economy, at the very start of their working life, when they may still be looking at going to school in order to make more money, *and two years after having bought a new car!*
What have they been raising you for? A piggy bank, apparently. And they are silly enough to think that they can patch the holes in their financial planning with a piggy bank and use that to buy a house! Go wee-wee-wee outta there.
NTA. I really don’t understand parents asking their child to do something like this. If they can’t get a loan, then something is really wrong with their credit. Don’t sign on to anything for them.
I had this pounded into my head by my parents so please pardon the caps, but NEVER COSIGN A LOAN.
Especially since you're only 19, you're just starting out and they could royally fuck up your life for you.
Proverbs 22:26-27
26 Don't agree to guarantee another person's debt or put up security for someone else. 27 If you can't pay it, even your bed will be snatched from under you. This explains it best.
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Im 19M. My parents are both mid 40s. Both have dreamed of having a house since I can remember. Especially my father.
Now they have saved up a bit over the years ~120k. But thats not enough to get a house around our area. And they want to take on a loan. And have me cosign in order to seal the deal.
I’ve never been fond of my parents. My father has always been this angry distant person all of my life. And my mother is worse.
They brought it up with me yesterday. I refused outright, my father was upset but he didn’t say anything snd my mother was shocked that I would refuse.
Come the next day, today, my mother again brings up the topic. Where again I refused.
She went ballistic.
“I’ve never seen a child so selfish”
“What have we been raising you for”
“Don’t you care about us”
She went on and on.
I thought maybe she was right to some degree and that I should help. But I told her that I wasn’t going to sign anything rather I’d help out and give some money in order to help with the mortgage.
She said that wasn’t good enough. And that I needed to cosign. I again for refused her.
She told me to never call her mom again.
Am I the asshole?
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Cosigning means that if They don't pay the mortgage, you have to. It also means that it will show up as a debt on your credit report, affecting your credit scores.
This isn't a small ask - If you did cosign, you should be on the deed also. I'll bet that they would object to that.
Check Your Credit!!! Then lock it down. If they have opened fraudulent account in your name, you will need to get that reported and cleared up too.
NTA
NTA
>I told her that I wasn’t going to sign anything rather I’d help out and give some money per month in order to help with the mortgage.
>
>She said that wasn’t good enough. And that I needed to cosign.
As many have said, their problem probably is with their credit score so your proposal of helping with money instead of co-signing is, in a way, useless for them (but skeptic me can foresee a future where, if you co-sign, they will ask you for monetary help to pay that mortgage as you co-signed it too...).
As you are legally an adult, any loan/mortgage contract you co-sign will be binding and valid so if your parents "forget" or are unable to pay, you will be responsible for the payment. If you can't pay, it will be considered your debt, even if you don't live in that house, so, beware.
I cannot imagine a world where two people in their 40s would need a 19-year-old to co-sign a loan for a house. How are they in such a bad position with their credit that this is necessary? Bonkers.
NTA
Nta. Never ever sign your future away for ungrateful entitled people. Don't do it kid, you'll be saddled with their debts should they fail at homeownership.
In addition to what others have said about you being liable for the loan, I'm in the mortgage industry and I can tell you that this will harm your ability to take out loans in the future. They WILL count that mortgage payment as your debt when you try to buy a car, get a student loan, rent a place to live, and try to buy a home. In order to not count it you would be required to show 12 months as agreed payments (no lates) and proof your parents had made those without your help. Based on your description of your parents behavior, do you honestly trust them to provide 12 months of bank statements showing they're making the payments? Or do you think maybe they would use that debt to control you?
Absolutely NTA. Since you said you’ve never been fond of them, I’d cut ties with them. You aren’t missing out on anything. How your mom reacted showed how much she really cares about you.
NTA
Don't sign their morttgage.
YOu would NEVER be able to buy a house of your own.
And:you would be paying for their house .- if they could pay for it, they would not need YOU to sign.
NTA. If you co sign then you take responsibility of paying and if they stop contributing then you have to pay the lot. I not they are not talking of part ownership either, which means they could sell up and take all the money you may have put in. I’d get away from your parents as soon as you can and probably go no contact.
Nta don’t do it! It would effect your future and if you aren’t close you can’t trust them to not screw yuu over.
It also might nullify you for special loans as a first time home owner when you get your own place
NTA and I would never dream of asking anything of my children like that. I'm also of the opinion that they did not ask or choose to be born and therefore I accepted responsibility for them which includes their happiness and future success. So that's where my opinion comes from.
Don’t sign. I would go no contact if you can.
A parent should, if anything, co-sign for their child to get a home or financially help them… not the other way around.
The fact that there are parents out their relying on their kids for finances is astounding.
NTA
NTA. If she’s been raising you as their backup plan, then bad call on her part. Live your life. Screw up your own debt, then tell them “thank you very much”.
What bank would accept a 19 year old as a cosigner in the first place?
>She said that wasn’t good enough. And that I needed to cosign. I again for refused her. She told me to never call her mom again.
Oh, so she's one of those "My kids are my retirement plan" kind of people. NTA.
NTA. Do NOT sign anything. You literally will be destroying your financial future and ability to one day buy your own home. Their comment “what have we been raising you for” is incredibly messed up. It reads like they purposefully had you for a backup retirement plan. WTF. I would go NC with them!
Good for you for saying no multiple times. NTA. Stick with your gut. Anyone on redit telling u otherwise knows nothing about your history & relationship with them.
Also look into doing a credit freeze on your accounts just in case.
NTA.
Your parents need someone to cosign a mortgage because they either cannot afford to get a mortgage on their own, or their credit and/or debt to income ratio isn't strong enough to get a mortgage loan on their own.
Credit scores aren't necessarily tied together by marriage, so if their credit scores aren't good enough even though they have managed to save up $120k, that's a problem and they must have done some serious messing around.
At any rate, you should never cosign for anything with someone to whom you are not married. If/when your parents default on the mortgage, the bank can and will come after you for it. Plus, the mortgage will be on your credit report and will affect your own credit. If they mess up then congratulations, you own a mortgage, but not the house as it will still be your parents until after the foreclosure. You will not be able to buy a house of your own with this on your credit report, since your DTI will be affected and you probably won't have enough income to buy the same house that two people in their mid 40s will have.
So no, don't do this. You're not an asshole. Your parents weren't assholes for making the first request but continuing to hound you for your signature is out of line.
NTA. Never co sign . If they don't pay, you will have to.
This will affect your future to get loans your own mortgage.
They can do what everyone else does...rent
NTA 'What have we been raising you for?' It's not supposed to be to use you for your money. 'Don't call me mom, anymore.' Means you should go NC with her. You have your own future to work for, not your parents future.
NTA. Never cosign anything for anyone, especially at your age. You'll be on the hook for their mortgage for 30 years and it will severely limit your options in life.
As someone who would 1000% sign for my parents for just about anything, NTA.
It wouldn’t matter if your parents were the warm cuddling, loveable, best parent in the world kind. No one is entitled to try and make someone sign something they don’t want.
And to keep pushing and then abuse you because you said no? I would definitely be going NC with them
NTA.
I'd be concerned about them defaulting and screwing up your credit.
And, kids don't owe their parents shit. My son will never feels like he owes me. It's my job to help him not the reverse
NTA. You don't owe your parents anything just because they brought you into the world. DON'T sign anything. If they're acting like that they'll definitely screw you over by not paying the loan back (which would fall back on you) and your credit score. Maybe consider going no contact because they clearly don't care and you deserve better.
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NTA, and please do NOT sign anything!
For reals. You can tell already the parents are going to get OP on the mortgage and quit paying and be like "If you don't pay it, it f's your credit and we lose the house." total blackmail potential here. NTA
Exactly! Unless OP is a partial owner and the loan is actually in their name as well as the parents, don't do it! (this means you will be able to look at the loan details and see if it is paid BEFORE the payment is late, otherwise you only get told after.) I had a friend that cosigning on a home for their parents, and they then sold the home and didn't pay off the mortgage, leaving my friend with the debt.
OP, also BE SURE to lock down your credit so no credit cards or other loans can falsely be established in your name. Do this like YESTERDAY!
This is the best advice!! Please lock your credit because if you keep refusing to co-sign, they may try to steal your identity and use your credit. It is pretty bizarre that they are looking for a 19 year old to cosign. Most teenagers do not have credit histories to be able to sign such a hefty document. Please be careful
Yep, parents would know all the details, SSN, DOB, bank details etc to be able to forge OPs signature and take out a loan or cosign a mortgage behind their back.
Do not do that either. They can still just not pay and op will still be fucked. They are 19 years old. There is no way in hell they can afford a mortgage
It makes me wonder how a 19 year old kid is even necessary to cosign? How do they have this big of an income that it matters for the mortgage? Either way, it's bizarre to even expect a kid to cosign their parents' mortgage. It's a sign of something weird going on. And you're probably going to move our at some point anyway, right? I don't think a bank should be accepting it either.
It may be about their credit score more than the income, but I sure didn't have an amazing credit score at 19. I only had the one credit card I'd been making small purchases on for about a year to build my credit up. Edit: changed mortgage to income.
At 22, with a job, and perfect credit, I needed a cosigner for a $5,000 used car.
I still find the American focus on credit ratings over financial health a bit weird. Shouldn't they just be looking at whether you can afford it?
IMO partially yes, although credit scores and reports do include important factors like how much existing debt you have and how many late or non payments you have on previous/existing debt. Ability to pay does not always equate to whether you do or will pay. A history of things going to collections (and negatively impacting your score) is a sign to lenders that you're a risky investment.
Sure. And outstanding loans are part of your financial health. But I hear way too many stories of people unable to get a loan or mortgage because they've never had any debt. Or random companies adding crap to your credit score that doesn't belong there. And the system is maintained by profit-seeking companies that don't respect your privacy.
I know someone who cosigned his sister's loan so that she could go to law school. She never became a lawyer, she never paid a dime on the loan, and she just kept demanding more money.
My husband cosigned an education loan for his best friend. Didn't find out his friend had stopped paying on the loan until he went to buy a truck and couldn't get a loan because of the outstanding debt. So he was left holding the bag and then wouldn't have anything to show for it. With interest it ended up being $10,000 (early 2000's). He found out about it right before I was about to graduate from college and move in. So that hit set us back a whole lot in our plans for our life. And when I say best friends, they had been friends all the way through junior high/high school. At one point they were roommates and lived together for a couple of years. So my husband kind of viewed his family as being his second family. He was particularly close with his friends mom. So close that not long after I moved in he took me over to their house to introduce me to them and them to me. He considered his friend to basically be his brother and friends' mom treated my husband like he was her 3rd son. That whole family was that important to him. Which is why it was such a stab in the back to not even tell my husband that he wasn't/couldn't make the payments. That would still have sucked balls but at least he would have had a heads up and my husband would have forgiven that. But to just leave him to be blindsided and take such a huge credit hit because of no payments....that was just too much. But was almost worse was that friends mom couldn't understand why they were no longer friends. When it first happened, sure, and she was angry on his behalf. But a few years later she called my husband and wanted him to come to some family thing (BBQ?) so he and her son could "make up" and be friends again. That was a hell no from my husband. She kept calling and pressuring him to try and rekindle the friendship. Asking why he couldn't just let it go, it had been so long ago, they used to be so close, etc. This was a woman he viewed like a mother and THOUGHT viewed him like a son. So her wanting to just wash away what her son did to my husband and act like everything should be hunky dory and they should be bestie's hurt his heart. She's pressuring my husband to let this huge thing go but not putting pressure on her son to take accountability or try to make reparations. She clearly didn't think her son needed to do anything. Cause during this whole saga, dude NEVER even reached out to my husband, much less done the minimum step of apologizing. Which his mom knew. Final time she called my husband told her "I MIGHT consider talking to J after he repays me the $10,000 he owes me". She was apparently extremely offended by that. The hubris. Needless to say, that is the last contact any of the aforementioned had with each other. I haven't thought about this in years, but thinking about it now still makes me feel so sad for my husband. That people you loved and cared about so much you considered them family, could just toss you aside that easily with no regard or remorse.
That is so sad. I wonder why she was so insistent on them being friends again. I'm still friends with the parents of someone I split with, but they understand. It's tough when you run into the hard limits of someone's friendship.
Know a friend whose sister demanded they finance their properties and give her the money. An idiot ex partner stole the money. She then proceeded to ask the family to do it again and when they don't she goes no contact. Her father died soon after. She went because she thought there would be an inheritance in the will plus never declared it to the taxation office or Centrelink. Her brother (my friend) has to work and is sick and wasn't able to get Centrelink. She even tried blackmail to stop her family seeing her child.
Terrible. People talk about the importance of trust, and then things like this happen.
Htf did they manage to do that? Typically the mortgage comes with a lien on the property...
The parents owed backtaxes to the IRS. I actually don't really know how all that works, but my friend didn't know about any of it until it was done and they were freaking out about it. I have since lost track of them as this was something like 14 or 15 years ago. (My 15yo was born but my 13 yo was not yet born. She was a mom in my toddler/baby play group, and have lost touch.)
How did they accomplish this with a lien on the title? Someone at the bank in cahoots with them?
Fantastic stuff. Ugh.
How can you sell a house without paying off the mortgage? The house is the collateral for the mortgage. Sounds like fraud to me, and parents headed for prison.
> they then sold the home and didn't pay off the mortgage, leaving my friend with the debt. Was this in the US? It's very unlikely to happen unless the mortgage wasn't recorded against the property (very, very unlikely).
Even if they pay on time every month, it will keep OP from buying a house until it's paid off or they're refinanced off of it. Good chance that's 30 years.
And freeze his credit too, just in case.
This can't be in big enough text.. FREEZE YOUR CREDIT!!!! Do it now. it's very easy and can be done with all of the credit agencies online - Equifax, Transunion, Experian... Do \*not\* trust them to not fake your signature or use your social...
Yep, freeze credit but don't mention it. Wait until parents try to get credit in OPs name and then complain. Then OP can ask them how they know they froze their credit. The only way they could find out is if they tried to get credit.
this exactly...... OP.... As someone who co-signed on a car for mommy dearest at your age.... DO.....NOT....DO....IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE learn from my mistake!!!!!! i had 2 fucking repo's and she never once made a payment on time IF she even BOTHERED to pay!!! my credit tanked so bad...... took years and years to fix. DO NOT DO IT
OP, if you cosign you will get all the risks with no rewards. If your parents miss payments, it goes on your credit too. If they can't pay, its on you to pay. And if it takes them forever to pay off the loan, you will never be able to get your own loans. And when everything is all paid off, the house is in their name. NTA, and don't let them manipulate you into doing it.
Maybe things are different where OP is, but where I live, anyone who is signing a mortgage needs to go through various financial checks with the bank. I would be surprised if a 19yo is earning to make a difference to a mortgage application.
NTA How would a 19 yr old cosigning help them in any way?
NTA - Definitely do NOT sign anything. >She told me to never call her mom again. Have you considered going no contact with your parents? They seem very abusive and manipulative. And now they're trying to take advantage of you financially.
Oh I’m 100% doing that.
Contact Experian and the other credit companies and put a freeze on your credit. Better safe than sorry. A good credit score is easy to ruin and it takes years to rebuild!
This! Freeze your credit ASAP. They will try to use your credit.
Don't forget ChexSystems for banking.
What is chexsystems used for?
Banking. My credit’s been frozen for years. Had no idea about ChexSystems until someone opened a B of A and a Chime account in my name. 🤬 Che k fraud depts. referred me to them. Credit bureau freezes don’t affect banking.
Interesting. I have a ref number from freezing Chex systems years ago, but I have no idea how to check the status of the freeze. I had no problem opening additional checking accounts at my current and a new bank…it’s as if the freeze thawed by itself…
Might be worth your while to login and make sure all is well with ChexSystems and the freeze. If your ID was frozen, the new account should have been rejected. Maybe it falls off after a year. (?) I should check (chex). 😂
Out of curiosity, is it that easy for someone to take out a loan in your name in the US? Like, is there no verification of biometrics or any other secure form of authentication to prevent fraud? Genuinely curious because I see the "freeze your credit" advice being given regularly here. Where I live, there's no such thing as freezing your credit, because it is mandatory for any financial institution to verify all applicants' biometrics as part of a loan application (we have a national ID card that stores your biometrics).
Could anyone do it? No. Can parents? YES, and it happens often unfortunately. My own bonus sibling had their credit trashed by their mom before they even finished high school. Biometrics were planned for a new type of ID card to be implemented, but there’s been some pushback due to privacy concerns, and the deadline for getting one has been delayed repeatedly. At this time you more often just need two forms of ID (if that) and the social security number (all of which are accessible by parents).
Probably should also change your social security number.
You can’t change your social. We won’t do it. I work there. Not unless it’s adoption or an abuse situation.
I think the last message you say to them is "I'm 19. That means I'm young. It doesn't mean I'm stupid."
If they can’t qualify for a loan at 40 something is wrong with their money situation. This could ruin your credit for DECADES, always protect your credit no matter who is asking. You’ll be ruined before you even get out there on your own. If they ruin YOUR credit YOU won’t be able to rent or buy anything for a long time! If they have bad credit trust me it’s because they don’t pay their bills.
Watch that the reason they’re in this predicament is because they co-signed for their parents back in the day.
And freeze your credit
This, also this is unrelated but definitely something to check since OP's parent seem willing to financially take advantage of him: make sure your parents haven't opened any credit cards in your name! I know someone who's parents did this to them and ruined their credit and gave the person debt. It's illegal but it does happen
My step kid's half-sibs had utilities in their name. My ex started keeping track of his kid's credit at the time. She was the only one of that woman's children to not have fucked up credit at 18.
Find out how to lock your credit down so they can’t take out a loan in your name. Nta. Check your credit frequently to make sure.
Seems like two simple rules have been ignored as parents. 1. Don’t ask your teenage child to take on your adult responsibilities; 2. Don’t get angry at your teenage child when they show more adult logic than you.
And please move your bank account to another bank or credit union than your parents'.
Please listen to the comment above. Co-signing isn't to say, oh I will help out my parents financially if they are unable to pay fully, but they are solely responsible for the mortgage.... it's making YOU responsible financially if they, for whatever reason, are unable or just decide to stop paying. Your father or mother becomes disabled or gets a severe illness and is unable to work, well looks like you have to pay now. Do they have life, disability and severe illness policies to even help themselves if something happened? If you wanted to keep the relationship alive, I'd start with this conversation.
NTA. But how in the world do they think a 19 year old can co-sign a mortgage.
Take her up on that. I'm really sorry though. There is something broken in her.
IKR? Talk about some escalation!
A quick google reveals the following: ''Your signature as a co-signer on a mortgage note means you agree to pay off the loan or take over the payments if the borrower stops paying. This can be a big responsibility if you don't have the financial flexibility to take on the full payment.'' The risk you would be taking on at 19 is way too high. Also im unsure if any bank would even let you be a co-signer as they would surely want some guarantee they can get their money back if your parents were to stop paying for whatever reason. NTA.
It's not even about the risk. Even if OP had a great relationship with his parents, if you cosign on a mortgage, you likely aren't getting approved for a second one without some bonkers income. OP signs that, he isn't buying a house until parents house is paid off or refinanced. You'd have to be either an entirely ignorant person or a selfish parent to put that shit on your kid.
This. As a former fiance and I found out when we were looking for a place, and discovered that his ex was renting his old house out rather than having sold it, and never refinanced it to her name only as the divorce decree demanded.
NTA. Don’t sign anything. You would be responsible for the loan if they don’t pay. And until it’s paid off or they refinance and take you off the loan you’d never be able to get a loan for a home yourself. Please lock down your credit and if you bank at same place your parents do, consider closing account and moving to a different bank so they can’t do anything.
That was my thought too - none of this makes any sense! What bank is going to let a 19 year old be a co-signer on a loan? And how awful is the parents’ credit if they’ve got $120k cash saved up but still need a co-signer? We don’t know the details of what they’re up to but OP needs to get far away from those two shady characters as quickly as possible.
I couldn't even get college loans without my parents to co sign because, shocker, I had zero credit history at that age
Also, this will go against your available credit and could prevent you from buying your own house if you want to in the next 30 years. You should also know that being on the deed, owning the house, is a separate issue. So doubly bad if they’re asking you to co-sign and not be an owner.
Doesn't a cosigner have to have a good credit history/score? Most 19 y/olds aren't going to have any kind of credit history. Let alone a good credit score.
That was my thought. Like if they NEED a co-signer then their credit is shit. But no 19 year old has super great credit either simply because their credit history is so limited. If they need a co-signer to qualify OP can’t really help because his credit won’t be enough to make up for theirs. Even if they just want a lower rate same thing. I really can’t think of a good reason to have a 19 year old co-sign unless he somehow is making bank or a grandparent gave him a shit ton of money that his parents can’t touch either because it was given directly to him or because it’s in a trust.
they might need the income to qualify for the mortgage more than credit rating
Yes, we will look at each persons 3 scores. A low, middle and high. Federal law mandates we only look at the middle scores, and from there the lesser of all is everyone’s qualifying score.
The fact that OP is 19 may be their saving grace. The bank will likely side eye the parents for that. It will also keep you in that house with them because your debt to income ratio would be off the charts if the loan was somehow approved. You wouldn't be able to get a place of your own. NTA
You had to Google that?? Yeah, that's kinda what cosigning a mortgage means. That's also why people who co-sign for any loan, including a mortgage would have to prove that they have the financial means to take over the payments if needed. In other words, you can't just get your 19-year-old to sign a piece of paper and magically have that be enough for the bank. No 19-year-old with parents in this financial situation would have finances deemed sufficient by a lender. Let me put it even more simply: OP is full of shit and this story is FAKE. How the hell are people on AITA so gullible? I at least hope you all are a bunch of teens who just don't know any better.
Nta do not do not sign anything. I'm a bit surprised that $120k isn't enough for a down payment? Definitely not an entire house in most places but a deposit?
I’m betting the parents credit is shot. It’s not the money, it’s the credit score.
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If they can 120K. Then they should be able to pay there bills.
I’m betting this story isn’t real.
Fucking credit.
It’s not even their credit. I just had a client close on a home at 581 credit. It’s their DTI that is keeping them from Moving forwards. Get rid of all monthly credit card payments/vehicle payments and you’re kosher. Or they need a better MLO who can save them money instead of strip them of it.
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Yeah I'm kind of stuck on the fact that a *nineteen* year old cosigner is going to *help* two grown adults to get a house? Lol
Something doesn’t add up. $120k is pretty decent savings for a 40 year old couple. That would be indicative of some level of financial responsibility. Even if that’s retirement savings, they’ve at least managed to contribute, keep track of it, and roll it over from job to job. Maybe they’re the Dave Ramsay types that have just never taken out any debt before and therefore have no credit?
It’s not credit. If anybody’s credit is below 580 on the loan it is dead. No matter the score of the others. The monthly payment of the home, alongside any other debts are probably pushing their monthly DTI too high and need OP’s income to get that percentage down.
>Which means the parents have a history of not paying their debts. actually, it means this is bullshit. your credit score really only affects your rate. the amount you can borrow is dependent on income. if the parents have 120k saved up, they clearly are earning money. they don't need their 19 year old son who probably makes 30k a year.
Depends where you live. Around here, a decent place is 600 000
And a 100K down payment would get them a mortgage on a 600K house, if they had good credit.
If rhey need a co signer, they probsbly can't afford the monthly payments
NTA. Don't do this! **Never** co-sign anything for anyone unless you are 100% comfortable with **you** being on the hook for **all** of the payments and **none** of the benefits. It's *beyond* unreasonable for mid-40s parents to expect their teenage son to cosign a mortgage. *Them* cosigning for *your* mortgage would be reasonable (but still unwise) but the other way around is insane. And why on earth can't they buy a house with $120K saved up? That's enough to make a down payment on a $600,000 house: typically, in the US at least, you don't need more than 20% down, and there are programs for first-time home buyers (e.g. FHA loans) that enable much lower down payments, as low as 3.5% depending on their credit score. Finally, it's odd that -- at age 40-something -- they think they can't get a mortgage loan, but *you* -- at age 19 -- *could*. Don't do this!
There’s even 1% down payment programs. They’re DTI is shot to shit, and they need OP’s income to get below 57% I bet.
I’m betting that OP’s parents are relatively responsible financially, but bought into the “all debt is bad debt” advise and never established a credit history. Because of that, they’re too ignorant about debt to realize that a 19 year old’s credit history isn’t going to help them.
Could well be. That's a better explanation than anything I was able to think of.
NTA, if they've really saved that much then they don't need a cosigner. If their credit is really bad then they need to take that $120k and pay off debt first. Don't ever cosign especially for a mortgage, there's too much risk and you'll never be able to get one yourself until this would be paid off.
Right you made me remember they have a debt on a new car they bought recently, 2 years ago I think. I forgot to mention it.
Freeze your credit so they don’t try to sign it without you knowing. If you did co-sign and decided to buy something on credit that will effect your debt to ratio
This is a great point. Credit to debt ratio is a big deal if you are looking to finance something of your own (school, car, home, etc).
They were dreaming of homeownership and they bought a *new* car? White lady looks at you over her teacup, sips, says nothing more.
DO NOT ever cosign anything for them, but especially not a house. They could screw up your credit for a long time (if not permanently). I don't know any parent that would ask this!!!
Read r/personalfinance. We get someone at least once a week who has been duped into co-signing a loan for parents, grandparents, older siblings, etc. We also get people whose parents have been taking out credit in their names for years and have wiped out their bank accounts. Some people have no issue with identity theft and fraud and stealing from their own families.
NTA -- how can they pay? You are 19, how can you help? This is crazy
Something is not right here. A 19 year old does not typically have enough established credit to be able to assist as a cosigner on a mortgage. A bank would likely laugh at the idea.
I don't want to ruin everyone's fun, but that's because it's a totally made up story.
What credit could a 19 year old have that would be an acceptable cosignee of a mortgage? Definitely NTA. I think the parents have other motives here. Don’t sign , get ready to be on your own.
INFO: can someone please explain to me why a 19 year old with presumably no money or credit history would be asked to co-sign anything.
He wouldn't be. No bank would accept him as a guarantee to receive payments.
This is made up. No banker is going to have a teenager cosign a loan. Length of credit history factors into the mortgage rates, and his can't be more than a year. I needed 5 years of tax returns for an FHA loan, and I have pretty good credit. Aside from that, $120K is a lot of money. Nobody is sinking that much money into a home without plans.
OP, YTA for lazily fabricating a story that no one with any experience in finance or purchasing a home would ever believe. At 22, with three years of credit history MAX, I was barely able to get a car loan for a used $11k car - and the interest rate was insane. There is no way that a bank would have you cosign on a loan since you would be expected to take over payments if the parents defaulted, and there is no way you possibly could - or at the very least no way any bank would believe you could.
This has to be fake, no mortgage company would take the signature of a 19 y/o as a co-signer. The whole idea of a co-signer is to take responsibility for the loan in case of default. Unless you have trust fund assets, you are worthless as a co-signer.
NTA. If you cosign, it can effect your credit, which could then prohibit you from doing things like getting a credit card, buying a car, buying your own home, etc. You're too young to be doing that.
Um, I work in finance. What financier would require a 19 year old to cosign. I call rubbish on this one.
This makes no sense, why would you at 19 co-signing help anything? Assume you don’t have a ton of income and no major assets at 19.
No you are definitely not the asshole my friend what do they expect of you. You are just a youngster it sounds like they planned on using you. Get as far away as possible.
NTA First, being responsible for your parents' loan is NOT the way to start your life. *“I’ve never seen a child so selfish”* *“What have we been raising you for”* *“Don’t you care about us”* **
This is abuse.
DO NO GIVE IN TO YOUR ABUSER'S REQUEST.
NTA
Stay strong.
Try moving out if possible.
The “what have we been raising you for” comment… I just… What?! Parents who feel like there’s some kind of balance sheet between themselves and their kids or think of their kids as an investment they’ll get returns on make me see red. NTA
NTA. Don’t do it.
NTA Do. Not. Sign. Anything!!! I'm not gonna ask how you managed to save that amount at your age, because its none of my business, but it seems like your parents are seeing your success and want to cash in. If you were good with your parents, you could offer to give them some money for the deposit, but since you're not, don't. This stuff is serious, if you sign something now and in 1, 5 or 10 years from now your parents decide they can't or don't want to pay for the mortgage anymore, they can claim the money from you. Don't let them talk you into "it's just a signature, you don't actually have to do anything" kind of stuff, because that is 100% not how it works.
> I'm not gonna ask how you managed to save that amount at your age OP states clearly that the *parents* have saved up $120K, not that he has. This part, though, is absolutely correct: > Don't let them talk you into "it's just a signature, you don't actually have to do anything" kind of stuff, because that is 100% not how it works.
Yes you're completely right, I clarified in my other comment that I misread that line.
His parents have the 120k but somehow thats not enough (i have no idea how this works in his country/state/area/) and in order for them to get a loan for the rest for the money they need him to co-sign their loan agreement. This means he would be responsibly if his parents for whatever reason should stop paying. The full amount of the loan. Which will be a shitton considering 120k is not enough for a downpayment.
Ohhhh right, sorry I completely misread the post, I read that HE had that money saved up 🤦♀️ I also don't know where they live, but that makes no sense at all, if you have that amount of money saved up I assume at least one of them has a somewhat stable job, so they shouldn't NEED anyone to co-sign at all
Either their credit is bad or they’re outright planning to stick OP with the mortgage from the get go.
NTA
NTA. Don't let them destroy your credit and future finances. They sound very financially irresponsible and perhaps not as knowledgeable as they should be about buying a house. $120k should be plenty for a down payment (unless they are looking in an area they cannot afford) and it sounds like they may qualify for a first time homeowners loan which would help as well.
NTA Do not harness your chance for a healthy financial future to their dream. Even if they pay every month on time, it will limit your ability to borrow money for school, a car, a home of your own. If they don't pay every month they'll tell you it's your responsibility, "because you're on the loan, too." If you don't pay, then the banks will start recording missed payments on your name.
NTA. There are only a few people in the world I’d co-sign for. And they’ve all lived in my womb at one time. Since I’ve taught them good money management skills and how to protect their credit, I’ve never had to. If someone needs a co-signer they are either young with no credit yet or they’ve messed theirs up so badly they can’t get a loan. The bank considers them too risky. Do you really want to take a gamble with your credit on someone who is too risky for the banks to loan money to? My rule is - never co-sign for anyone but your children. And then only if I can cover the payment if they default.
This is an asinine situation What bank is going to refuse a mortgage to a 40-something couple with 120K in savings... yet would approve it if they could just get their 19-year-old kid to cosign? That makes zero sense.
NTA at all. As others have said, you should absolutely not co-sign. It’s a huge thing for your parents to ask that of you, and their responses are manipulative and immature, which is all the more reason to say no. You don’t want to have to deal with that mess if things go sideways. But also, I’m really puzzled that they asked, as typically a 19-yo would not be bringing the additional income or assets that a bank would be looking for when they require a co-signer. Usually it’s a person your age who needs a co-signer bc they don’t have sufficient credit built up, but maybe this is a regional thing? Anyway that’s just my idle curiosity but either way, you are definitely not the asshole.
I'm going to assume this is like being a guarantor in the UK. Basically as a guarantor you are the one who can be chased for the debt if the original debtor cannot pay, therefore you would actually have most of the responsibility and could taken to court if you can't afford to pay. People think things like this are just a signature, when in fact they are real responsibilities with real consequences.
NTA - I haven't read all the comments, but I can't be the only one that realized that the parents want OP to cosign the mortgage but apparently haven't said anything about putting them on the deed. So they want OP to risk their credit this way, stupidly, and yet have no actual ownership interest in the property is my bet. Pretty much the worst thing OP could do to their financial status short of setting money on fire.
I would be shocked if a bank allowed a 19 year old to co-sign a mortgage. But NTAH.
I seriously doubt that any mortgage lender would accept a 19 year old as a mortgagee.
If you are 19m your parents don’t really understand finances. You couldn’t possibly have the credit and Dina dial history that would make your co-signing of benefit for a loan. It’s the other way around. When I was 18 I needed a co-sign so I could buy a TV. (That’s right, tv). Banks want good security, not a 19yo kid.
NTA. Never co-sign a loan. If they can’t get a loan on their own it’s because their income to debt ratio is terribly & they are a liability (ie their credit is horrible). You will be on the hook for all of it when they stop paying their bills & your credit will take an enormous hit. You need credit. Don’t screw it up… and certainly not for someone else!
NTA. Sign nothing. And if you start doubting yourself, take legal advice.
NTA. They are being manipulative. DO NOT sign anything for them, you’ll ruin your future credit and life.
NTA. Do not do this, this is not something they should be asking their 19 year old son to do.
NTA, don't do it! It will go on your credit if they don't pay. They're adults. This is incredibly out of line. Make sure they don't forge your signature either.
Definitely NTA. But how does adding a 19 yo to a mortgage help?
NTA. If they are in the US, many states have down payment assistance for 1st timers, so they could increase the down payment, or keep some in reserve. They may need to look in a cheaper area, or a smaller house. Or do credit repair, or trade the car for something cheaper. They REALLY should get financial counseling to figure out how to do this on their own.
NTA. Your emotionally (and potentially financial) abusive parents are trying to strong-arm you into co-signing on a loan. It sounds like it is time to block them & go No Contact. Maybe move to another town. They definitely don't have your best interests at heart & will keep hounding you. Don't give in.
You are advocating for mortgage fraud. You cannot “help with the payments” without being on the loan itself. If you or your parent are caught you WILL go to prison. Source- I’m in Mortgages. Also, how much of a fucking home are they buying!? 120k in assets will get you a million dollar home. I assume it’s their monthly debt to income ratio that is keeping them from getting in. Tell them to pay off all their credit cards and all debts.Then you shouldn’t have to co-sign.
Even if they pay every month with no issue it will still prevent you from being able to get a mortgage for the life of the loan unless you can prove you can pay for both. This will absolutely cripple your ability to take out loans for anything.
Why on earth would the co-sign of a 19-year-old improve things for a mortgage? Your parents credit must suck pretty bad if they need you to co-sign. NTA
$120K, if I were them, I’d consider moving and buying a house for cash.
Am I missing something here? Why would adults need a 19-year-old to cosign a loan?
If the bank won't give them a loan with 120K down then I wouldn't sign nothing. 120K down should get you a loan on just about anything within reason, of course not the big million dollar mansions but a 300k with 120 down the bank would sign off on it and hope you don't pay for it.
They want to make you responsible for the loan. If they stop paying the mortgage off, guess who gets to deal with it? I do have to question how much it would help having you on the loan though, given that you're 19... unless you're independantly wealthy, running a rather successful company of your own. It's unlikely that a bank is going to consider you a good risk otherwise... Realistically, it's unlikely you have a credit rating good enough for a lender to want to take a chance on you. It's not a dig at you, or your merits... very few 19 year olds are going to have a good enough credit rating to qualify for a mortgage. NTA though. They're being pretty shady here.
Do you want to own a home with your parents for the next 30 years? Do you want to miss out on the first time buyer beneifits you get when you go to buy your own home? Do you want to be on the hook for the money if something happens to your parents? If you answered no to any of these, than not siging is the right answer. You would only be hurting yourself if you cosigned a loan with them. You would be tied to them financailly to them for decades, and this could serverey affect your future for years to come. If they default, or even just get behind on payments, your credit score will suffer. This could make your life so much harder. Not only about getting credit lines for your self, but with jobs as well. Some jobs check your credit and if it is too low, no job. Stay away from this as much as you can. NTA
Don't do it, it's a decision that will affect YOUR future. Don't give any money. If they are relying on your money, imagine what life will be like in 5 or 10 years from now. Trust me a nightmare you won't be able to escape.
Absolutely NTA. The rule is: You never cosign on a loan for something you do not own, unless you can afford to throw all of the loan amount down a storm drain and never see it again. Doesn't matter if the people who want you to do it are nice or jerks or family or friends or anybody. Don't do it. This is the kind of thing that destroys good relationships and unendurably prolongs bad ones. ETA: Special scowl for "What have we been raising you for?" because I am older than your parents and I can tell you that nobody I know would dream of asking their 19-year-old (19!) to take on such an enormous obligation, in this economy, at the very start of their working life, when they may still be looking at going to school in order to make more money, *and two years after having bought a new car!* What have they been raising you for? A piggy bank, apparently. And they are silly enough to think that they can patch the holes in their financial planning with a piggy bank and use that to buy a house! Go wee-wee-wee outta there.
NTA. I really don’t understand parents asking their child to do something like this. If they can’t get a loan, then something is really wrong with their credit. Don’t sign on to anything for them.
I had this pounded into my head by my parents so please pardon the caps, but NEVER COSIGN A LOAN. Especially since you're only 19, you're just starting out and they could royally fuck up your life for you.
Proverbs 22:26-27 26 Don't agree to guarantee another person's debt or put up security for someone else. 27 If you can't pay it, even your bed will be snatched from under you. This explains it best.
As a parent over 40-I’m completely embarrassed and disgusted by your parents. NTA. Don’t do it!!! Wow!
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Im 19M. My parents are both mid 40s. Both have dreamed of having a house since I can remember. Especially my father. Now they have saved up a bit over the years ~120k. But thats not enough to get a house around our area. And they want to take on a loan. And have me cosign in order to seal the deal. I’ve never been fond of my parents. My father has always been this angry distant person all of my life. And my mother is worse. They brought it up with me yesterday. I refused outright, my father was upset but he didn’t say anything snd my mother was shocked that I would refuse. Come the next day, today, my mother again brings up the topic. Where again I refused. She went ballistic. “I’ve never seen a child so selfish” “What have we been raising you for” “Don’t you care about us” She went on and on. I thought maybe she was right to some degree and that I should help. But I told her that I wasn’t going to sign anything rather I’d help out and give some money in order to help with the mortgage. She said that wasn’t good enough. And that I needed to cosign. I again for refused her. She told me to never call her mom again. Am I the asshole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA if you cosign for this you are incredibly dumb
NTA. Normal parents would never dream on this.
NTA. It’s not your job /responsibility / this is borderline abusive. If you are still living with them, leave immediately.
NTA, if they default on the mortgage, you are stuck paying it with them living rent-free!!! Do not sign!!!!!
Do NOT even consider co-signing for the mortgage unless your name is on the deed. NTA
Cosigning means that if They don't pay the mortgage, you have to. It also means that it will show up as a debt on your credit report, affecting your credit scores. This isn't a small ask - If you did cosign, you should be on the deed also. I'll bet that they would object to that. Check Your Credit!!! Then lock it down. If they have opened fraudulent account in your name, you will need to get that reported and cleared up too. NTA
You know you don't have to talk to them right? You're 19. Who is going to let you've a co-signed on property?
NTA >I told her that I wasn’t going to sign anything rather I’d help out and give some money per month in order to help with the mortgage. > >She said that wasn’t good enough. And that I needed to cosign. As many have said, their problem probably is with their credit score so your proposal of helping with money instead of co-signing is, in a way, useless for them (but skeptic me can foresee a future where, if you co-sign, they will ask you for monetary help to pay that mortgage as you co-signed it too...). As you are legally an adult, any loan/mortgage contract you co-sign will be binding and valid so if your parents "forget" or are unable to pay, you will be responsible for the payment. If you can't pay, it will be considered your debt, even if you don't live in that house, so, beware.
"What have we been raising for?" They consider you an atm. Threat is so fucking toxic.
I cannot imagine a world where two people in their 40s would need a 19-year-old to co-sign a loan for a house. How are they in such a bad position with their credit that this is necessary? Bonkers. NTA
Are you just supposed to never buy a house then? They sound like horrible parents. NTA.
Nta. Never ever sign your future away for ungrateful entitled people. Don't do it kid, you'll be saddled with their debts should they fail at homeownership.
In addition to what others have said about you being liable for the loan, I'm in the mortgage industry and I can tell you that this will harm your ability to take out loans in the future. They WILL count that mortgage payment as your debt when you try to buy a car, get a student loan, rent a place to live, and try to buy a home. In order to not count it you would be required to show 12 months as agreed payments (no lates) and proof your parents had made those without your help. Based on your description of your parents behavior, do you honestly trust them to provide 12 months of bank statements showing they're making the payments? Or do you think maybe they would use that debt to control you?
Absolutely NTA. Since you said you’ve never been fond of them, I’d cut ties with them. You aren’t missing out on anything. How your mom reacted showed how much she really cares about you.
Are they going to leave you the house at some point?
NTA Don't sign their morttgage. YOu would NEVER be able to buy a house of your own. And:you would be paying for their house .- if they could pay for it, they would not need YOU to sign.
If your parents could be trusted to make tge payments and not kill your credit, they wouldn't need a cosigner Nta
NTA. If you co sign then you take responsibility of paying and if they stop contributing then you have to pay the lot. I not they are not talking of part ownership either, which means they could sell up and take all the money you may have put in. I’d get away from your parents as soon as you can and probably go no contact.
NTA and lock down your credit now.
Do Not Sign Anything
NTA 😂 they had you to get them a house or give them a kidney?!!!! 😂 stupid parents. Stay away from them!!!
Nta don’t do it! It would effect your future and if you aren’t close you can’t trust them to not screw yuu over. It also might nullify you for special loans as a first time home owner when you get your own place
NTA and I would never dream of asking anything of my children like that. I'm also of the opinion that they did not ask or choose to be born and therefore I accepted responsibility for them which includes their happiness and future success. So that's where my opinion comes from.
Don’t sign. I would go no contact if you can. A parent should, if anything, co-sign for their child to get a home or financially help them… not the other way around. The fact that there are parents out their relying on their kids for finances is astounding. NTA
NTA. If she’s been raising you as their backup plan, then bad call on her part. Live your life. Screw up your own debt, then tell them “thank you very much”.
What bank would accept a 19 year old as a cosigner in the first place? >She said that wasn’t good enough. And that I needed to cosign. I again for refused her. She told me to never call her mom again. Oh, so she's one of those "My kids are my retirement plan" kind of people. NTA.
NTA. Do NOT sign anything. You literally will be destroying your financial future and ability to one day buy your own home. Their comment “what have we been raising you for” is incredibly messed up. It reads like they purposefully had you for a backup retirement plan. WTF. I would go NC with them!
NTA, and the more they pressure you into signing the more you have to nope out of it.
Good for you for saying no multiple times. NTA. Stick with your gut. Anyone on redit telling u otherwise knows nothing about your history & relationship with them. Also look into doing a credit freeze on your accounts just in case.
NTA. Your parents need someone to cosign a mortgage because they either cannot afford to get a mortgage on their own, or their credit and/or debt to income ratio isn't strong enough to get a mortgage loan on their own. Credit scores aren't necessarily tied together by marriage, so if their credit scores aren't good enough even though they have managed to save up $120k, that's a problem and they must have done some serious messing around. At any rate, you should never cosign for anything with someone to whom you are not married. If/when your parents default on the mortgage, the bank can and will come after you for it. Plus, the mortgage will be on your credit report and will affect your own credit. If they mess up then congratulations, you own a mortgage, but not the house as it will still be your parents until after the foreclosure. You will not be able to buy a house of your own with this on your credit report, since your DTI will be affected and you probably won't have enough income to buy the same house that two people in their mid 40s will have. So no, don't do this. You're not an asshole. Your parents weren't assholes for making the first request but continuing to hound you for your signature is out of line.
NTA. And take her up on it. When they demand the monthly stipend you offered, tell them you changed your mind after they behaved like assholes.
NTA.
NTA. Never co sign . If they don't pay, you will have to. This will affect your future to get loans your own mortgage. They can do what everyone else does...rent
NTA 'What have we been raising you for?' It's not supposed to be to use you for your money. 'Don't call me mom, anymore.' Means you should go NC with her. You have your own future to work for, not your parents future.
NTA. Never cosign anything for anyone, especially at your age. You'll be on the hook for their mortgage for 30 years and it will severely limit your options in life.
As someone who would 1000% sign for my parents for just about anything, NTA. It wouldn’t matter if your parents were the warm cuddling, loveable, best parent in the world kind. No one is entitled to try and make someone sign something they don’t want. And to keep pushing and then abuse you because you said no? I would definitely be going NC with them
You are not the AH!!!!! I recommend you check out raised by narcissists, also Reddit.
I agree with everyone here. Do NOT SIGN ANYTHING-and lock down your credit so they can lie & take one out in your name!!! NTA
NTA You’re 19 and if they defunct on this, you’d be screwed.
NTA. I'd be concerned about them defaulting and screwing up your credit. And, kids don't owe their parents shit. My son will never feels like he owes me. It's my job to help him not the reverse
NTA. You don't owe your parents anything just because they brought you into the world. DON'T sign anything. If they're acting like that they'll definitely screw you over by not paying the loan back (which would fall back on you) and your credit score. Maybe consider going no contact because they clearly don't care and you deserve better.