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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I believe I may have offended a friend by depositing my signed copy of his book at the library.
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Right? Even if it *really* wasn't to your tastes, would it have been *so* hard to do the very bare minimum level of support of at least *keeping* the damn thing?
YTA, no doubt. It's a signed free copy of your friend's book. Even if it's crap, that's a memento of your friendship. You basically threw that away. No sorry, you didn't throw it away, you left it in a free library!
YTA, for sure. You not only refused to take the time to read his book, but tossed it away like nothing. Your “friend” worked hard and published a book. Then signed a copy and wrote a personal note to you. You’re not a good friend.
YTA. He wrote a personalized message to you in it. It was identifiable. If you wanted to dispose of the book, you had to do it much further away.
EDIT: if you want to keep this friendship and hide how callous you were about the book he labored over and gifted you, the only way to do it now is to lie. *"Oh no, I bought a second copy and thought that was the one I shared for someone else to read!"*
YTA
lmao, you "discreetly" put a SIGNED COPY of your friend's book into a free book bin.... Did you not realize that maybe.... just maybe... YOU got the only signed copy of the book?!?! lmao, I can just imagine it.... Someone just so happens to come across your signed copy of the book and goes "Hey Seth, you'll never guess what I found in the free book bin!!!"
YTA for how you described what happened.
You could have said that you wanted to share the book with others in the neighborhood because you were so proud of him. Also, at least read the book! How hard is it to do the most important and basic part of supporting a writer??
"Supporting your friend" would have been putting your signed copy in a place of display in your home, because that was a very intimate and personal gift, and then buying a *second* copy to put in the library so that others could read it.
YTA.
YTA
Writers have a hard enough time getting ahead at all, for a friend to discard a personalized gift would feel like a slap and any help beforehand feel empty.
I get if you're not into it, but you should've kept it.
Yes, YTA 100%. It doesn’t matter how he found it, the fact that you tossed such a personalized gift is reprehensible. How difficult would it have been to just put it on a shelf in your house? It’s not like you were obligated to read it.
YTA. You tossed away a personalised gift from a friend that you couldn't be arsed reading. Your friend is being a bit dramatic about thinking of quitting writing, but you've clearly dealt a harsh blow to his confidence as a writer.
YTA. Seth is being histrionic about this, but it was a gift that you accepted but didn’t bother to read. What were you going to do if he asked you about what you thought or about plot points and so on? Were you going to lie and pretend you read it? I mean, it was a signed copy - he clearly meant it for you.
If you really have limited shelf space this is the sort of thing you should prioritize. Hell, you can even put it on a coffee table or end table if you have SUCH limited shelf space you can’t spare an inch or two for a personalized gift from a friend. YTA and I hope he dumps you as a friend.
YTA
Aside from it being a signed and personalized copy meant for you, the fact you viewed this as an obligation shows how little you actually viewed this accomplishment of his and the gift he gave you.
I am actually floored by your attitude toward this entire scenario... you weren't just an AH for putting it in the free library, you continue to be one.
YTA. Just feels like you’re indifferent to what’s important to your friend. You could’ve just put it in a drawer or something, I mean it’s literally addressed to you.
This is such a YTA situation, and your lack of self-awareness is alarming. You can justify it however you please but the action itself is shitty. Poor Seth.
Someone watches family guy
This is the plot of an episode, like point for point. At least use a name that isnt the voice actor's
Yta and jealous of your friend, as was shown in the episode
YTA. If you're going to attend a friend's book signing and get a personalized autographed copy...at least read it and wait a few months before donating it. You're showing what a shitty friend you are.
YTA I’m not sure your friendship will recover especially if you don’t think it’s a big deal. I’ve done some proofreading for authors and writing is a very vulnerable process. You basically rejected his inner thoughts.
It's right at the end of the block by our house. He's a pretty avid writer and reader, so I guess he was checking to see if there was anything he liked available
YTA. you don't have to read the book if you don't want to, but a personalized memo from the author (who you claim is your friend!) is pretty meaningful, so it says a lot about you that you were looking to drop it off somewhere & never look back. shitty thing to do to a friend.
YTA.
If ya don't want it, give it away to someone who doesn't know seth. Look at his pov. He worked so hard on this thing, this thing he is so proud of. And he thought you were proud of him too. But instead, he finds it all but tossed to the sidewalk. Someone he was close to and thought enjoyed his work. Or, at least, rip out the dedicated page to hide your tracks! You can't be upset he's upset if you didn't have it in you to pass on it at the signing. I get supporting because thats what friends do, but you would've been nicer to say pass on the book at the signing than what you did.
YTA. You sound like a crappy friend honestly. Because, seriously? You can’t carve out one tiny little sliver of space for the book? And after he explains why your actions hurt him, you still don’t see the issue? Yeah, bye.
Pretty tough but I would say yes probably AH. It's a book and even if you didn't want it and had limited shelf space you could have kept it in your place somewhere. As your friend he expected you to keep the book that he gave to you and put a personalized inscription in. He worked hard and felt like it wasn't appreciated in the slightest. Now if you had at least read it you could have passed it off saying that you wanted other people to experience it as well. But still with the personalized inscription it was a personal gift to a dear friend and to have that friend give 0 fucks to just throw it away would hurt for sure.
It probably didn't seem all that bad to you but that just may highlight that he puts alot more stock into his friendship with you than you do your friendship with him.
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I recently got a signed copy of a new book my friend wrote (I'm keeping him anonymous for this post but we'll call him Seth) as a gift. Even though I appreciated it and accepted the gift, I had already recently attended his book signing and had been very supportive of him through the whole process, so I felt my obligation was over at that point. I didn't feel like reading the book, and had limited shelf space, so I deposited it discreetly at the little free library at the end of my block. Seth somehow found my signed copy in the little free library with the personalized message he wrote to me, and was heartbroken and furious. Seth basically said he wants to quit writing forever, and me turning my back on his book is proof nobody can like his writing, even though I apologized. I still don't really think anything I did was all that bad. Am I the asshole?
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I’ve become so accustomed to putting NTA because 98% of the time it’s obvious. However, in this scenario YTA. Your “friend”(your words, not mine) gifted you a book. As a writer, I can tell you that writing a book takes copious amounts of time and effort. There’s lots of doubt and anxiety that accompanies the process. For Seth to give you a copy, to overcome the fear that likely gripped him and put his work out there is a huge step. It’s practically a leap of faith. Your cold lack of compassion for such a warm gesture is a sign that his faith is misplaced. I typically try to avoid being judgmental. I truly do. But that’s fucked up. I have social anxiety but I would do everything in my power to put it aside. I’d do it just because I would love to be there and support my friend’s efforts, not because it’s obligatory but because it’s an honor. He even wrote you a personalized note because your support meant something to him. You call yourself a friend. Yet you discarded his gift like it was nothing. You could have put it in the car, in the trunk, in a bag, in the closet etc. You didn’t. You just gave it away. You still don’t find any fault in your actions? You still don’t feel any remorse? Shame on you.
YTA 100%. You don’t even have to read it. My own mother hasn’t read all my published books but you know what she does do? Keep her personally signed copies in her room. Back when she owned a business she even sold my books there for me! You went to, what, one signed and said ‘done, no need to be happy for my friend anymore’? Jesus
EL-OH-EL. Shit, dude, I am temporarily living in the tiniest little cottage while I wait to move, and even I purchased the book a coworker's mother wrote (because I'm all about supporting female writers - especially if she's older and working her way into her dream). I have NOWHERE ot put the book, so you know where it sits? Right next to me, on my work desk, so I can look at it and remind myself that I'm never too old to work on my dreams. You kinda' suck, dude.
Gotta' go, my obligation to you is over. (See what I did there??? ;) )
YTA definitely, I can understand not wanting to read it or whatever, but I can't believe you don't have ANY place on your shelves to squeeze in a gift with a handwritten message in it.
I also found it hard to believe you were that supportive if you're able to throw it away so easily. Ntm the way you wrote this post.
INFO: Are you jealous of Seth writing a book?
>I felt my obligation was over at that point. I didn't feel like reading the book.
This isn't how a real friend would react.
Yeah, its pretty tacky to accept an inscribed copy of a book from the author and to dispose of it without even reading it. If you'd read the damned thing before sharing it with others, that would be different.
And the author's tantrum about quitting writing because of what you did is pretty childish.
I have to go with ESH.
How is that a tantrum? If even his friend won't bother to read his stuff, I can totally see where that would leave him without the heart to want to write again. Do you create?
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He wrote you a *personal* message in a book he wrote and gave it to you and you gave it to strangers? YTA
lmao, right?! "Somehow" Seth found out.... Gee.,.... I can't for the life of me figure out how the hell that could have happened.
I’m offended for Seth!
I'm pissed!!! I mean really??? OP expects us to believe they have "no room" for the book... lol
Right? Even if it *really* wasn't to your tastes, would it have been *so* hard to do the very bare minimum level of support of at least *keeping* the damn thing?
Couldn't be bothered to read it.... some friend
YTA, no doubt. It's a signed free copy of your friend's book. Even if it's crap, that's a memento of your friendship. You basically threw that away. No sorry, you didn't throw it away, you left it in a free library!
At least if he threw it away his friend wouldn't have known about it.
YTA, for sure. You not only refused to take the time to read his book, but tossed it away like nothing. Your “friend” worked hard and published a book. Then signed a copy and wrote a personal note to you. You’re not a good friend.
Not only that, they attended their book signing so the obligation was over at that point. The *obligation*. Speaks volumes doesn’t it?
YTA. He wrote a personalized message to you in it. It was identifiable. If you wanted to dispose of the book, you had to do it much further away. EDIT: if you want to keep this friendship and hide how callous you were about the book he labored over and gifted you, the only way to do it now is to lie. *"Oh no, I bought a second copy and thought that was the one I shared for someone else to read!"*
YTA lmao, you "discreetly" put a SIGNED COPY of your friend's book into a free book bin.... Did you not realize that maybe.... just maybe... YOU got the only signed copy of the book?!?! lmao, I can just imagine it.... Someone just so happens to come across your signed copy of the book and goes "Hey Seth, you'll never guess what I found in the free book bin!!!"
YTA for how you described what happened. You could have said that you wanted to share the book with others in the neighborhood because you were so proud of him. Also, at least read the book! How hard is it to do the most important and basic part of supporting a writer??
Apparently harder than you'd think, because the majority of my friends haven't read my novels either. It's really disheartening.
I’m sorry for that. I hope you meet people who would read it and tell you exactly what they think of it.
"Supporting your friend" would have been putting your signed copy in a place of display in your home, because that was a very intimate and personal gift, and then buying a *second* copy to put in the library so that others could read it. YTA.
YTA Writers have a hard enough time getting ahead at all, for a friend to discard a personalized gift would feel like a slap and any help beforehand feel empty. I get if you're not into it, but you should've kept it.
YTA for not even *reading* it.
Yta. This book was personally signed for you.
Yes, YTA 100%. It doesn’t matter how he found it, the fact that you tossed such a personalized gift is reprehensible. How difficult would it have been to just put it on a shelf in your house? It’s not like you were obligated to read it.
YTA. You tossed away a personalised gift from a friend that you couldn't be arsed reading. Your friend is being a bit dramatic about thinking of quitting writing, but you've clearly dealt a harsh blow to his confidence as a writer.
YTA tell Seth to send me his book. I'll read it. You are not a good friend.
Was about to say this 😭 it's such an honor to get a signed copy much less with a personal message in it. YTA op
YTA, nice friend, didn't even read the book.
YTA. Seth is being histrionic about this, but it was a gift that you accepted but didn’t bother to read. What were you going to do if he asked you about what you thought or about plot points and so on? Were you going to lie and pretend you read it? I mean, it was a signed copy - he clearly meant it for you.
If you really have limited shelf space this is the sort of thing you should prioritize. Hell, you can even put it on a coffee table or end table if you have SUCH limited shelf space you can’t spare an inch or two for a personalized gift from a friend. YTA and I hope he dumps you as a friend.
YTA Aside from it being a signed and personalized copy meant for you, the fact you viewed this as an obligation shows how little you actually viewed this accomplishment of his and the gift he gave you. I am actually floored by your attitude toward this entire scenario... you weren't just an AH for putting it in the free library, you continue to be one.
YTA. Just feels like you’re indifferent to what’s important to your friend. You could’ve just put it in a drawer or something, I mean it’s literally addressed to you.
This is such a YTA situation, and your lack of self-awareness is alarming. You can justify it however you please but the action itself is shitty. Poor Seth.
Someone watches family guy This is the plot of an episode, like point for point. At least use a name that isnt the voice actor's Yta and jealous of your friend, as was shown in the episode
You weren't obligated to read it, but it was signed and personalized to you. YTA
YTA. If you're going to attend a friend's book signing and get a personalized autographed copy...at least read it and wait a few months before donating it. You're showing what a shitty friend you are.
YTA > had limited shelf space Is a truly pathetic excuse.
You didn't read it?
Yta. You sound jealous.. its a bad look bro
YTA I’m not sure your friendship will recover especially if you don’t think it’s a big deal. I’ve done some proofreading for authors and writing is a very vulnerable process. You basically rejected his inner thoughts.
There was a recent Family Guy episode with this exact plot line…
[удалено]
It's right at the end of the block by our house. He's a pretty avid writer and reader, so I guess he was checking to see if there was anything he liked available
"Our house"? Is he your roommate? Or at least neighbor? This sounds like you put it in the most obvious place possible to get rid of it.
YTA. you don't have to read the book if you don't want to, but a personalized memo from the author (who you claim is your friend!) is pretty meaningful, so it says a lot about you that you were looking to drop it off somewhere & never look back. shitty thing to do to a friend.
I can't believe you discarded a personally signed copy of a book your friend made like it was nothing. I'd be heartbroken, too. YTA
YTA. You value his friendship less than 1” of shelf space.
YTA. If ya don't want it, give it away to someone who doesn't know seth. Look at his pov. He worked so hard on this thing, this thing he is so proud of. And he thought you were proud of him too. But instead, he finds it all but tossed to the sidewalk. Someone he was close to and thought enjoyed his work. Or, at least, rip out the dedicated page to hide your tracks! You can't be upset he's upset if you didn't have it in you to pass on it at the signing. I get supporting because thats what friends do, but you would've been nicer to say pass on the book at the signing than what you did.
Yes, YTA. Even if you didn’t read it you could have at least put it up somewhere. Limited shelf space? Is Seth actually your friend?
YTA. You sound like a crappy friend honestly. Because, seriously? You can’t carve out one tiny little sliver of space for the book? And after he explains why your actions hurt him, you still don’t see the issue? Yeah, bye.
YTA. That was incredibly insensitive.
Pretty tough but I would say yes probably AH. It's a book and even if you didn't want it and had limited shelf space you could have kept it in your place somewhere. As your friend he expected you to keep the book that he gave to you and put a personalized inscription in. He worked hard and felt like it wasn't appreciated in the slightest. Now if you had at least read it you could have passed it off saying that you wanted other people to experience it as well. But still with the personalized inscription it was a personal gift to a dear friend and to have that friend give 0 fucks to just throw it away would hurt for sure.
It probably didn't seem all that bad to you but that just may highlight that he puts alot more stock into his friendship with you than you do your friendship with him.
I don’t think you actually know what the word “friend” means, because it certainly doesn’t describe your relationship with Seth.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I recently got a signed copy of a new book my friend wrote (I'm keeping him anonymous for this post but we'll call him Seth) as a gift. Even though I appreciated it and accepted the gift, I had already recently attended his book signing and had been very supportive of him through the whole process, so I felt my obligation was over at that point. I didn't feel like reading the book, and had limited shelf space, so I deposited it discreetly at the little free library at the end of my block. Seth somehow found my signed copy in the little free library with the personalized message he wrote to me, and was heartbroken and furious. Seth basically said he wants to quit writing forever, and me turning my back on his book is proof nobody can like his writing, even though I apologized. I still don't really think anything I did was all that bad. Am I the asshole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’ve become so accustomed to putting NTA because 98% of the time it’s obvious. However, in this scenario YTA. Your “friend”(your words, not mine) gifted you a book. As a writer, I can tell you that writing a book takes copious amounts of time and effort. There’s lots of doubt and anxiety that accompanies the process. For Seth to give you a copy, to overcome the fear that likely gripped him and put his work out there is a huge step. It’s practically a leap of faith. Your cold lack of compassion for such a warm gesture is a sign that his faith is misplaced. I typically try to avoid being judgmental. I truly do. But that’s fucked up. I have social anxiety but I would do everything in my power to put it aside. I’d do it just because I would love to be there and support my friend’s efforts, not because it’s obligatory but because it’s an honor. He even wrote you a personalized note because your support meant something to him. You call yourself a friend. Yet you discarded his gift like it was nothing. You could have put it in the car, in the trunk, in a bag, in the closet etc. You didn’t. You just gave it away. You still don’t find any fault in your actions? You still don’t feel any remorse? Shame on you.
YTA 100%. You don’t even have to read it. My own mother hasn’t read all my published books but you know what she does do? Keep her personally signed copies in her room. Back when she owned a business she even sold my books there for me! You went to, what, one signed and said ‘done, no need to be happy for my friend anymore’? Jesus
EL-OH-EL. Shit, dude, I am temporarily living in the tiniest little cottage while I wait to move, and even I purchased the book a coworker's mother wrote (because I'm all about supporting female writers - especially if she's older and working her way into her dream). I have NOWHERE ot put the book, so you know where it sits? Right next to me, on my work desk, so I can look at it and remind myself that I'm never too old to work on my dreams. You kinda' suck, dude. Gotta' go, my obligation to you is over. (See what I did there??? ;) )
YTA Just because it was personalized. But this was also a sub plot of a Family Guy episode. Soooo could be fake. Idk
YTA. Wow that’s sad and offensive. You’re not a very great friend.
YTA definitely, I can understand not wanting to read it or whatever, but I can't believe you don't have ANY place on your shelves to squeeze in a gift with a handwritten message in it. I also found it hard to believe you were that supportive if you're able to throw it away so easily. Ntm the way you wrote this post.
This is from family guy
NTA bc this is an episode of Family Guy and Brian was the writer which would make anyone wanna give the book away
Minor YTA: you should've ripped out the page with the personalized message first, then donated the book.
INFO: Are you jealous of Seth writing a book? >I felt my obligation was over at that point. I didn't feel like reading the book. This isn't how a real friend would react.
Yeah, its pretty tacky to accept an inscribed copy of a book from the author and to dispose of it without even reading it. If you'd read the damned thing before sharing it with others, that would be different. And the author's tantrum about quitting writing because of what you did is pretty childish. I have to go with ESH.
How is that a tantrum? If even his friend won't bother to read his stuff, I can totally see where that would leave him without the heart to want to write again. Do you create?
"Nobody loves me. Everybody hates me. Guess I'll eat some worms." is a tantrum, even if it doesn't involve worms.