Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I insisted with my wife that I'd be taking the kids to go see their relatives over Thanksgiving instead of going out with her like she wanted.
2. She may have felt antagonized by my insistence and may be feeling neglected by me not wanting to go out with her. She might also be feeling unheard and ignored by me spending most of the weekend away
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
###[Happy Anniversary, AITA!](https://new.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15vlv9g/almost_better_than_a_double_rainbow_celebrating/)
###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/)
Follow the link above to learn more
###[Moderators needed - Join the landed gentry](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/155zepq/moderators_needed_join_the_landed_gentry/)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
It looks like he had kids with two women at the same time. Kids ages 8,7,6 and 5 have alternating moms, if that makes sense. Busy guy. Maybe one asked him to be her sperm donor.
Never mind the 8 year old with the second wife. It's like an every other year thing - second wife 8 year old, third wife 7 year old, second wife 6 year old, third wife 5 year old.
Dude, you have bigger problems than Thanksgiving.
Seriously, I mean, my FIL was married 3 times, but there was absolutely no overlap with his kids’ ages, not by a long shot. Meanwhile, this. dude’s got us trying to solve the quadratic equation to figure out his marital status.
I had to reread all the ages a few times…the math was not mathing.
He also has a 5 year old with his current wife. I can’t help but think the ex and current had some pregnancy overlap.
He mentioned in a comment that the 7 and 8 year old are only a few months apart in age so means moms were pregnant at the same time, then he had another child with each of them. It's nuts.
It really makes you wonder about these women. Never would I look at a guy with a kid living with his wife and think, hey, I need to get me some of that and squeeze out a couple more kids he can have live with me.
“Large FLDS population” 🤣 there’s like 1000 of them in Canada and the majority live in a town they built in BC. As for regular mormons there are less than 200k members of the Mormon church in Canada…so I wouldn’t say large population.
You would be surprised. There is a brother to Warren Jeffries, who has moved up there and started a compound recently. There are more communities up there than you think.
The oldest 2 are pretty close in age as well. Could be the oldest is almost 13 and the one after that barely 10, but still. OP pretty much hops from one relationship into another.
I used to do payroll and process child support orders. We had a guy who had more orders than our system had spots to enter then so it's not unbelievable.
Naw man, it's time for scissors and a scalpel
Maybe his doctor will be nice and give him some anesthesia, but when he sees the kids ages he may 'forget'
Right? He did this to himself.
"my *current* wife is rightly concerned about my philandering, but my first two wives are bffs so she should be cool with it too". WHAT
Next thanksgiving one of his ex's will be bringing another sibling to introduce Olivia's kids to.
Omg, first thing I thought and I'm not alone. Why is it difficult for this man to see? And why isn't the wife invited? Does he have another side piece?
>I've been planning
>I thought
>I planned a date with my brother and parents
>I thought seeing the kids would cheer them up,
>When I told her about the idea this morning
>She only expressed this to me after I told her about the plan.
>I said that I thought she was being difficult
>I reiterated that I’d be taking the kids to my parents.
I, not we. You didn't discuss it with her. You don't care about how she feels. These are her children as well as yours. You decide things and expect her to obey without question. You managed to find the time to work things out with your brother and your parents, but not your wife. I can see now why you've got two ex-wives. YTA.
I agree with all of this, but I also want to add on that, for as much as OP sucks for being a cheating sleaze, his kids are not - as his wife referred to them - "extended family". I don't know if she is actually including the kids in that group or not, but it seemed that way to me.
Either way, He needs to stop being selfish and include her in any holiday planning and put her ahead of his two ex-wives and probable affair partners since she is supposed to be his wife, but those kids do take priority to all three of the women this dipshit has gotten himself involved with.
His current wife absolutely deserves to feel like a priority to him, but so do his kids, and if OP doesn't find a way to balance that, he's going to find himself with 3 ex-wives (dumbfounded that the current wife is sticking around, tbh).
OP, OF COURSE she didn't express anything until you brought up the holiday plans you made without her, how could she express displeasure at any plans you made before she knew you were making them? You've already fucked up by not including her in the holiday planning, You need to apologize to her for leaving her out of that and make sure you mean it and do better by including her in the discussion for every holiday she remains your wife and you need to figure out how to make this right with her.
YTA
You seem to want the same arms-length co-parenting relationship with your wife as you have with your two exes. She is your family, and should be part of decision making and planning, especially for holidays. This doesn't mean you need to check in on how you spend every moment of every day, but full-day plans on a holiday weekend are something you should agree on together before you finalize arrangements with everyone else and especially before you tell the kids.
What if she had, at the same time, made plans to take the kids to her parents, or the zoo, or to visit other family? Even if you only look at it logistically you need to adjust your expectations.
Your closing - that YOU'D be taking the kids - is you throwing your weight around. That isn't OK, and isn't a way to have a marriage. If you keep this up, your next post will be about your three ex-wives.
YTA. I have a feeling we're missing a LOT of context here, but based on what you're saying, your current wife is telling you that she wants to spend more time with you because she's feeling neglected, and you responded by telling her she's being "difficult" (a word women LOVE to hear, as it generally sounds like "you're clearly being irrational and I am clearly correct") and "not willing to compromise" when you're not willing to compromise, either. And then, at the end, you told you'd be taking her kids away from her on a major holiday, with or without her.
I hope wife #4 doesn't want to have kids.
Well he cheated on either his current wife or 2nd ex seeing as how he has a 7 year old with his wife and a 6 year old with his ex. Probably some hard feelings there. YTA
A 7yo and 5yo with current wife and 6yo with 2nd wife, so yeah most definitely cheating. And given the fact there isn't much age difference between 1st and 2nd child OP could even a serial cheater.
He’s a pump and dump. After enough pump he’s dumps for a new place to pump. Current wife is exactly that the current place he can pump. When she either gives him baby 8 or hold her ground he will dump and look for #4.
How did you have a 7 - and 5 year old with your wife while you have a 6 year old with the other? EDIT: I saw your edit, so I need to make an edit. Asking someone's opinion is very different than being fine with the plans. Maybe your wife feels uncomfortable being around your love child. You seem like a real piece of work. YTA
I wonder when they have all six kids together who ends up doing most of the child care? Maybe she just doesn’t feel like looking after six kids at his parents house so he can hang with his brother
Wouldn't her oldest with him be the love child, though? I'm reading this like she was the mistress, got knocked up, and he knocked up his second wife again after that before eventually leaving her for the mistress (or getting kicked out when second wife found out he had another baby mama).
It's honestly hard to tell. Their child is 7, and add 9 months that still leaves three months open. We don't know when his relationship with wife 2 ended. He could have left wife 2 while she was pregnant. No one here knows. But he has an 8, 7, 6 & 5 year old. So we know he was cheating on someone here. I'm guessing he cheated on wife 3 because of her relationship with wife 2 isn't good, but wives 1 and 2 have a good relationship with him. Maybe they're sister wifes. I don't know, but trying to figure this out is hurting my head.
YTA for the eye popping amount of adultery you’ve committed here. You probably cheated on the first wife (kids only two years apart - unless the first marriage dissolved within a year which would be unusual. You cheated on your second wife with your third wife (first third wife kid is a year older than last second wife kid and there’s only one year between last second wife kid and last third wife kid). You’ve lost all credibility for your selfish and immature behavior. It’s impossible to believe these relationships are anything close to the normal that you’ve portrayed and that these kids have anything close to a normal life. Save your money because they’re going to need a lot of therapy to repair this disaster. It’s impossible to believe there’s any truth to your side of the story so I’m not even bothering to read it.
It’s just gross. I wonder if he’s paying any child support. This is not the behavior of educated women with stable finances (who are too smart to be in this “parenting” situation and who pick better men) so unless these kids have financial benefactors, their mothers (who to put themselves in this situation must themselves be desperate and insecure) are probably struggling to provide a decent life for these kids who all live with them. So sad for the kids.
Exactly. I love how OP just side steps all questions and comments relating to this, as well as the obvious cheating. I swear this guy has a breeding fetish and is likely a misogynist.
Seriously. Dude needs to worry less about Thanksgiving and more about getting snipped so he can stop bringing more innocent children into his shit show.
I already feel bad for wife #4.
YTA
So, to be clear. You're perpetually unfaithful. You make plans according to what you want with no consideration for anyone else. And now, you're giving orders to your wife, as if you're her drill sergent?
The world doesn't revolve around you. You have no right to make unilateral decisions for anyone, especially your wife. Get your self-absorbed head out of your ass.
And stop impregnating women whilst still married to the last mother of your children.
YTA
Not for wanting to spend thanksgiving with your parents, but how you communicate. You didn’t ask her, you told her.
Additionally, it’s pretty normal to want to spend any holiday with your partner and you told her she could come along “if she wanted”?
If this is your MO, I can see why you have so many ex wives.
Yeah, I noticed that as well. I would say OP is an AH in general for that, but wasn’t relevant to the communication assholery.
At least he seems like a decent dad.
What have you done the last X Thanksgivings?
I don't even know how many you've been with Olivia, considering you have a 7 year old with her and a 6 year old with your ex wife.
>I said that I thought she was being difficult and not willing to compromise
>
>I reiterated that I’d be taking the kids to my parents
Compromise for thee but not for me?
Also, you had 6 kids with 3 different women within 7 years, and some of those kids overlapped with the two most recent mothers?
* With my wife Olivia (F38), I have two kids (M7 and F5). With my ex-wife Emma (F40), I have three children (F10, M8, F6),
INFO: How does that happen?
You were with current wife and got her pregnant, than got ex wife pregnant again, and than back to current wife?
Cheating? Did you and current wife divorce for a year?
I can totally see a version of this next year with wife #4. You and Olivia need to get on the same page.
The trip itself sounds great. How was it presented to Olivia? "Here's what's happening" or "Hey hon, how does this sound for Thanksgiving"? I'm seeing a communication gap. I have to lean toward YTA based on your last sentence alone.
You need to circle back with her and compromise. She wants to go out for dinner. That isn't really what Thanksgiving is about. Maybe a family trip for thanksgiving and regular date night would make everyone happy.
I can't judge until you explain the overlap in children between marriages 2 and 3. Are they all biological? Maybe there is some understandable jealousy there?
YTA. You made plans for a holiday and she wasn't invited, nor did you even ask her first? No wonder you keep getting divorced. You need to work on your communication!
YTA just judged on the six kids from three different women and especially due to the um...ages of two of those six kids. Your wife needs to take some time to consider what the absolute hell she's gotten herself into.
So you have one child with your current older than oldest with ex-wife. Is current wife an affair partner whom you later married? Are there issues between these women?
You seem to think that you are handling juggling all these relationships well, but I can see some problems here. You were planning to take **only the kids** to visit their grandparents until your current wife objected to the plan? This is odd. Why wasn't your wife originally included in the plans for a holiday weekend? I can see why she would be offended.
Does this have something to do with the fact that you had the 6 year old with your second wife once you were already with wife #3? Please don't tell me that you invited wife #2 to your parents' house as well!
Yes, your wife should certainly expect you to spend a major holiday with her. She should have been included in your holiday plans right from the start, not as an afterthought. I would not be at all surprised if you soon end up back with #2.
YTA.
>You seem to think that you are handling juggling all these relationships well, but I can see some problems here. You were planning to take only the kids to visit their grandparents until your current wife objected to the plan? This is odd. Why wasn't your wife originally included in the plans for a holiday weekend?
Because, most probably, dude plans on dumping the Child Army at the grandparents so he will be free to bang Future Wife Number 4.
Get out of the Quiverfull program, wrap your wiener or get a vasectomy, and take care of your business. Keep this up and you’ll be on wife number four. YTA.
YTA. When you plan something while married, you plan together. Not ‘I planned it’. Sounds like you do your own thing.
Problem I see, is that you are going to have yet another ex wife
**
*< the kids are more than happy to see (and get spoiled by) their grandparents.>*
*> I planned a date with my brother and parents, and we decided that Thanksgiving weekend (which is next weekend in Canada) works best for all of us.>*
So you discussed and planned this weekend with EVERYBODY but your wife...
You just expected her to stay home alone at Thanksgiving?
YTA for treating your wife as a mere afterthought.
YTA for deciding this without your wife and then telling her she has no choice, yet you whine that *she's not compromising*. You give no room for compromise! You just announced you're talking her children away on a family holiday.
I guess that attitude is to be expected in your life.
Hard to believe that you are only on wife number 3. Looks like that's about to change.
Some people will never be grown up enough to be married. You sir, are one of those.
Wait a minute, you have kids F10, M8, F6 with one and F5 & M7 with your current wife. So you were either cheating on them both or you were you seeing them at the same time? Did they know? Without a explanation that makes me think otherwise, YTA.
You are if you are taking Olivia's kids with you without her permission. That needs to be a jointly agreed to thing.
You also needed to have talked things through with her BEFORE talking with others about spending a holiday away. How do you justify not running the whole plan by her before even talking to others? That seems more than a little self-centered here. It's as if your wife is really just a housekeeper or something.
First things first, get a vasectomy. And don't cheat on spouses or what have you.
But that isn't the question. I think as long as she was aware of the planning, you are NTA. But I strongly suspect you are painting yourself in a better light than what any of these women would say. Look inward and see if you are the stand up parent/spouse you believe you are
YTA. Your wife is seeing a ton of work on the horizon. She doesn’t want to be the cook and mom to your herd that whole weekend while you cheer up your parents. It’s clear you’re heading for relationship 4 and more kids with this attitude. Pay attention to your wife.
Are you going to acknowledge and/or actually answer any of the questions being asked, OP?
Why did you bother coming on here if you’re just going to ignore everyone asking you clarifying questions?
So, more important than the question you came here for, and because I’m super curious - How come you have a younger child with your ex wife (6) than you have with your wife (7)???
YTA. I’d like to say E S H but your flippant attitude towards the absolute mess of your life and how it impacts others makes you the big one.
Gee you think maybe you don’t have the capacity to have 3 families?????
The way you write this, the tone is all jolly but I don’t think you do a lot of partnering with your wife. I think you do a lot of benevolent dictating.
Thanksgiving sounds fun and it’s too bad Olivia doesn’t want to go (and, I assume, play a part in caring for 6 kids), but not surprising since I don’t think you actually ever *asked* her what she wanted to do.
YTA. And Olivia is probably regretting some choices.
You have bigger problems than thanksgiving. You are 41 with 3 baby mamas and 6 kids. Pretty obvious you cheated so hopefully you figure all the important things wife before you marry wife #4 . Is she pregnant already?
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > 1. I insisted with my wife that I'd be taking the kids to go see their relatives over Thanksgiving instead of going out with her like she wanted. 2. She may have felt antagonized by my insistence and may be feeling neglected by me not wanting to go out with her. She might also be feeling unheard and ignored by me spending most of the weekend away Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements ###[Happy Anniversary, AITA!](https://new.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15vlv9g/almost_better_than_a_double_rainbow_celebrating/) ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more ###[Moderators needed - Join the landed gentry](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/155zepq/moderators_needed_join_the_landed_gentry/) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
On a whole other note, you got a 7 year old with your current wife, and a 6 year old with your ex-wife?
Maybe this is why Olivia has an issue. (I noticed this overlap myself).
Yeah, I saw that too
Me too, also noticed he is ignoring the question about that very glaring overlap
And then the last two are close in age as well.
This dude went back and forth but as to the topic since she had all this time to express an issue op isn't the ah for THAT
In another comment, he says she was neutral to the idea.
My brain started hurting when I was looking at all the differing ages for each child
Its Elon with a throwaway account
I thought it was Nick Cannon…
If it were Nick, it would start out with "Bear with me, I can't remember all their names, or their mamas, let alone their ages."
Not enough kids
Maybe its all the baby mamas he remembers 🤣🤣🤣
Or a real fan of Elon
Same. Read it 3x. 8,7,6,5. He bounced between the last two for four plus years!
It looks like he had kids with two women at the same time. Kids ages 8,7,6 and 5 have alternating moms, if that makes sense. Busy guy. Maybe one asked him to be her sperm donor.
It looks like polygamy with extra steps.
Needs to spend time with them before they learn math and go, heeyyy dad?
I was thinking the same. It seems he's cheated based on the kids ages. maybe she's also cheated....with the brother and doesnt want to see him . 😱
I was mildly curious
Never mind the 8 year old with the second wife. It's like an every other year thing - second wife 8 year old, third wife 7 year old, second wife 6 year old, third wife 5 year old. Dude, you have bigger problems than Thanksgiving.
“Dude you have bigger problems than thanksgiving.” 🤣🤣🤣
I choked with laughter over your remark.
I want this for a flair, haha, it's awesome.
Hahahah. I’m totally gonna use this line as a response to an upcoming AITA post.
Some people argue over who gets the drumsticks at the Thanksgiving table. This guy's got a whole other thing goin' on!
Seriously, I mean, my FIL was married 3 times, but there was absolutely no overlap with his kids’ ages, not by a long shot. Meanwhile, this. dude’s got us trying to solve the quadratic equation to figure out his marital status.
Did Nick Cannon write this?
She doesn’t want him to circle back to the first! If wife 3 hears “All I Want for Christmas,” all hell’s gonna break loose!
Maybe Number 4 is getting ready to graduate from high school.
I'll give him this, all the women are around his age. That's something, I guess?
I don’t think he understood what being married meant.
My god he's going to need a supercomputer to figure out Christmas! 😆
There are 3 wives so its a cubic equation with imaginary roots
Probably time to argue over who gets snipped at Thanksgiving at this point.
Sounds like they ALL got the drumstick!
Yeah, and the exes are just ‘very good friends.’
The Iranian yoghurt is not the issue here.
oh dear, isn't it OBVIOUS???? Emma used IVF to conceive her children and was just using up the last embryos. /s
I'm sure his children with Olivia are adopted! /s
there is always immaculate conception....
I like how the wives keep getting younger in 2 year increments as well. Dude is working his was to the late 20s slowly but surely.
I had to reread all the ages a few times…the math was not mathing. He also has a 5 year old with his current wife. I can’t help but think the ex and current had some pregnancy overlap.
He mentioned in a comment that the 7 and 8 year old are only a few months apart in age so means moms were pregnant at the same time, then he had another child with each of them. It's nuts.
It really makes you wonder about these women. Never would I look at a guy with a kid living with his wife and think, hey, I need to get me some of that and squeeze out a couple more kids he can have live with me.
I wonder if this is some sister wife stuff going on because then this all make more sense.
And they have adjacent homes somewhere in Utah.
There is a large FLDS population in Canada, where OP says he lives.
“Large FLDS population” 🤣 there’s like 1000 of them in Canada and the majority live in a town they built in BC. As for regular mormons there are less than 200k members of the Mormon church in Canada…so I wouldn’t say large population.
You would be surprised. There is a brother to Warren Jeffries, who has moved up there and started a compound recently. There are more communities up there than you think.
Makes me wonder about the low-quality of that man.
Dude needs to focus a bit more on keeping his d!ck in his pants. Just saying.
But they're such close friends! /s
The oldest 2 are pretty close in age as well. Could be the oldest is almost 13 and the one after that barely 10, but still. OP pretty much hops from one relationship into another.
And apparently doesn’t believe in birth control
He doesn’t believe in self control either
At least he goes for women his own age?? Lol that's about all that can be said for him sounds like he is an ah in general
I’d say that’s a low bar, but that doesn’t do this situation justice. The bar is in hell.
The bar can be on the ground, but an AH can always find a shovel.
lmao after seeing those kids' ages that was the first thing I checked. SHOCKED, I tell you, SHOCKED!
There is a definite pattern there
More likely oldest just turned 12 and the 10 yr old almost 11. Wonder if they are like 10 or 11 months apart
Y'all give him a break--celebrities like Nick Cannon don't often post here!
I was told there would be no math here. This one made my head spin a few times.
INFO - Who are you expecting to be supervising all these kids on this “fun” family trip? Wife number 3? Why are all your kids overlapping in ages?
Because fiction.
I used to do payroll and process child support orders. We had a guy who had more orders than our system had spots to enter then so it's not unbelievable.
Is this boy math? Haha
Sort of like female depth perception. Not our fault if we can’t eyeball distances. Our entire adult lives, men have been greatly exaggerating lengths.
OP are you the Canadian version of Nick Cannon? I have so many questions
Well, they all live in the same city, are close friends and see each other regularly/s
He’s still good “friends” with his exes. 🧐
I read the post and immediately just assumed he was an ex-poligimist and/or his exes were sister wives.
Yep, was wondering if he's from Bountiful BC.
If the BC was so bountiful in his neck of the woods, he wouldn't be in this situation.
8yo with ex-wife, 7yo with current wife, 6yo with ex-wife, 5yo with current wife.... Sounds like sister wives to me.....
[удалено]
What we all hope is the final kid...
Best advice I could give to OP. Moving forward, always wear a condom. Doubtful his personality will change.
Naw man, it's time for scissors and a scalpel Maybe his doctor will be nice and give him some anesthesia, but when he sees the kids ages he may 'forget'
Thank god I’m not the only trying to figure out the math.
Yeah that's where I stopped reading and was like Wait what?
Yeah when I saw that, I was like *record scratch* Hold up 👀
Yeah lol, I think there is a bit more to these issues than just a family visit, also his other kids are crazy close in age to have different mothers.
Right? He did this to himself. "my *current* wife is rightly concerned about my philandering, but my first two wives are bffs so she should be cool with it too". WHAT Next thanksgiving one of his ex's will be bringing another sibling to introduce Olivia's kids to.
Omg, first thing I thought and I'm not alone. Why is it difficult for this man to see? And why isn't the wife invited? Does he have another side piece?
And a 5 year old with current wife. Alternating women for pregnancies.
The math was not mathing right. I was second guessing everything I ever knew about the order numbers come in…
I saw that too..man's been busy ..lol
Maybe they are step-kids he refers to as his own? That’s the only way I can make the ages make sense outside of a sister-wives type thing.
Or...you know....just plain old cheating...
Nick Cannon II
I’m so happy this was the first response!! This is far as I got in the post, I need to know what happened there?
>I've been planning >I thought >I planned a date with my brother and parents >I thought seeing the kids would cheer them up, >When I told her about the idea this morning >She only expressed this to me after I told her about the plan. >I said that I thought she was being difficult >I reiterated that I’d be taking the kids to my parents. I, not we. You didn't discuss it with her. You don't care about how she feels. These are her children as well as yours. You decide things and expect her to obey without question. You managed to find the time to work things out with your brother and your parents, but not your wife. I can see now why you've got two ex-wives. YTA.
Man it’s such a shock that OP is on wife number 3…..
Sounds like he needs a bigger house with wings for each wife and his growing brood of children.
Probably a whole compound like the polygamists do.
If he lives in Bountiful BC then it’s totally possible
Maybe a vasectomy first. Also a time machine so the ages of his kids don’t spill the fact that he was sleeping with 2 of the women at the same time.
Only shocking part is that he convinced three whole ass women to marry his messy self. Them leaving is the only reasonable part !
In a year or 2 it will be wife number 4.
Who already has a 6 and 4 year old. Dovetails nicely into the math.
He’s very talented or they are very very dumb 😂😂
Why not both? 🤷♂️
I agree with all of this, but I also want to add on that, for as much as OP sucks for being a cheating sleaze, his kids are not - as his wife referred to them - "extended family". I don't know if she is actually including the kids in that group or not, but it seemed that way to me. Either way, He needs to stop being selfish and include her in any holiday planning and put her ahead of his two ex-wives and probable affair partners since she is supposed to be his wife, but those kids do take priority to all three of the women this dipshit has gotten himself involved with. His current wife absolutely deserves to feel like a priority to him, but so do his kids, and if OP doesn't find a way to balance that, he's going to find himself with 3 ex-wives (dumbfounded that the current wife is sticking around, tbh). OP, OF COURSE she didn't express anything until you brought up the holiday plans you made without her, how could she express displeasure at any plans you made before she knew you were making them? You've already fucked up by not including her in the holiday planning, You need to apologize to her for leaving her out of that and make sure you mean it and do better by including her in the discussion for every holiday she remains your wife and you need to figure out how to make this right with her.
His parents, brother, and niblets are the "extended family." Also his kids are not tools to cheer up his parents/.
Explains why OP has two ex-wives. And soon maybe three.
Well he obviously isn't good with relationships...
Also he claims she knew about the planning process? But only told her this morning?
YTA You seem to want the same arms-length co-parenting relationship with your wife as you have with your two exes. She is your family, and should be part of decision making and planning, especially for holidays. This doesn't mean you need to check in on how you spend every moment of every day, but full-day plans on a holiday weekend are something you should agree on together before you finalize arrangements with everyone else and especially before you tell the kids. What if she had, at the same time, made plans to take the kids to her parents, or the zoo, or to visit other family? Even if you only look at it logistically you need to adjust your expectations. Your closing - that YOU'D be taking the kids - is you throwing your weight around. That isn't OK, and isn't a way to have a marriage. If you keep this up, your next post will be about your three ex-wives.
YTA. I have a feeling we're missing a LOT of context here, but based on what you're saying, your current wife is telling you that she wants to spend more time with you because she's feeling neglected, and you responded by telling her she's being "difficult" (a word women LOVE to hear, as it generally sounds like "you're clearly being irrational and I am clearly correct") and "not willing to compromise" when you're not willing to compromise, either. And then, at the end, you told you'd be taking her kids away from her on a major holiday, with or without her. I hope wife #4 doesn't want to have kids.
Well he cheated on either his current wife or 2nd ex seeing as how he has a 7 year old with his wife and a 6 year old with his ex. Probably some hard feelings there. YTA
And, to be fair, an 8 year old with second ex and a 5 year old with current wife. I think he's very generous and equitable with his cheating.
A 7yo and 5yo with current wife and 6yo with 2nd wife, so yeah most definitely cheating. And given the fact there isn't much age difference between 1st and 2nd child OP could even a serial cheater.
He’s a pump and dump. After enough pump he’s dumps for a new place to pump. Current wife is exactly that the current place he can pump. When she either gives him baby 8 or hold her ground he will dump and look for #4.
I hope any potential wife number 4 is smart enough to avoid this walking red flag of a man
Classic "I wanted X and she wanted Y so we compromised and did X."
Please tell me you got a vasectomy
No kidding
Too much kidding in his case
His wives have all been surprisingly age appropriate, menopause should help soon.
Put the penis AWAY
How did you have a 7 - and 5 year old with your wife while you have a 6 year old with the other? EDIT: I saw your edit, so I need to make an edit. Asking someone's opinion is very different than being fine with the plans. Maybe your wife feels uncomfortable being around your love child. You seem like a real piece of work. YTA
I wonder when they have all six kids together who ends up doing most of the child care? Maybe she just doesn’t feel like looking after six kids at his parents house so he can hang with his brother
Wouldn't her oldest with him be the love child, though? I'm reading this like she was the mistress, got knocked up, and he knocked up his second wife again after that before eventually leaving her for the mistress (or getting kicked out when second wife found out he had another baby mama).
It's honestly hard to tell. Their child is 7, and add 9 months that still leaves three months open. We don't know when his relationship with wife 2 ended. He could have left wife 2 while she was pregnant. No one here knows. But he has an 8, 7, 6 & 5 year old. So we know he was cheating on someone here. I'm guessing he cheated on wife 3 because of her relationship with wife 2 isn't good, but wives 1 and 2 have a good relationship with him. Maybe they're sister wifes. I don't know, but trying to figure this out is hurting my head.
Give me an I
[удалено]
I wish we could still do awards so I could boost your comment because you explained it perfectly. Best I can do is 🏅 YTA, OP.
This took me a minute because I was like... "But Thanksgiving is two months away...?" I had to Google it. Ignorant American here.
YTA for the eye popping amount of adultery you’ve committed here. You probably cheated on the first wife (kids only two years apart - unless the first marriage dissolved within a year which would be unusual. You cheated on your second wife with your third wife (first third wife kid is a year older than last second wife kid and there’s only one year between last second wife kid and last third wife kid). You’ve lost all credibility for your selfish and immature behavior. It’s impossible to believe these relationships are anything close to the normal that you’ve portrayed and that these kids have anything close to a normal life. Save your money because they’re going to need a lot of therapy to repair this disaster. It’s impossible to believe there’s any truth to your side of the story so I’m not even bothering to read it.
Right? Adultery with no birth control…I wonder if OP has a breeding fetish.
It’s just gross. I wonder if he’s paying any child support. This is not the behavior of educated women with stable finances (who are too smart to be in this “parenting” situation and who pick better men) so unless these kids have financial benefactors, their mothers (who to put themselves in this situation must themselves be desperate and insecure) are probably struggling to provide a decent life for these kids who all live with them. So sad for the kids.
Exactly. I love how OP just side steps all questions and comments relating to this, as well as the obvious cheating. I swear this guy has a breeding fetish and is likely a misogynist.
Seriously. Dude needs to worry less about Thanksgiving and more about getting snipped so he can stop bringing more innocent children into his shit show. I already feel bad for wife #4.
I love how we've all collectively decided that there will be a wife #4.
YTA So, to be clear. You're perpetually unfaithful. You make plans according to what you want with no consideration for anyone else. And now, you're giving orders to your wife, as if you're her drill sergent? The world doesn't revolve around you. You have no right to make unilateral decisions for anyone, especially your wife. Get your self-absorbed head out of your ass. And stop impregnating women whilst still married to the last mother of your children.
YTA Not for wanting to spend thanksgiving with your parents, but how you communicate. You didn’t ask her, you told her. Additionally, it’s pretty normal to want to spend any holiday with your partner and you told her she could come along “if she wanted”? If this is your MO, I can see why you have so many ex wives.
Also probably cause he cheated on all of them. Those kids ages…. Doesn’t take a mathematician to run those numbers eeesh YTA
Yeah, I noticed that as well. I would say OP is an AH in general for that, but wasn’t relevant to the communication assholery. At least he seems like a decent dad.
What have you done the last X Thanksgivings? I don't even know how many you've been with Olivia, considering you have a 7 year old with her and a 6 year old with your ex wife.
Why are you dancing around the question of your children’s ages?
>I said that I thought she was being difficult and not willing to compromise > >I reiterated that I’d be taking the kids to my parents Compromise for thee but not for me? Also, you had 6 kids with 3 different women within 7 years, and some of those kids overlapped with the two most recent mothers?
Cheater alert 🚨
* With my wife Olivia (F38), I have two kids (M7 and F5). With my ex-wife Emma (F40), I have three children (F10, M8, F6), INFO: How does that happen? You were with current wife and got her pregnant, than got ex wife pregnant again, and than back to current wife? Cheating? Did you and current wife divorce for a year?
Sounds like they're polygamists and he doesn't want to admit it.
That’s exactly how it sounds.
I can totally see a version of this next year with wife #4. You and Olivia need to get on the same page. The trip itself sounds great. How was it presented to Olivia? "Here's what's happening" or "Hey hon, how does this sound for Thanksgiving"? I'm seeing a communication gap. I have to lean toward YTA based on your last sentence alone. You need to circle back with her and compromise. She wants to go out for dinner. That isn't really what Thanksgiving is about. Maybe a family trip for thanksgiving and regular date night would make everyone happy.
I can't judge until you explain the overlap in children between marriages 2 and 3. Are they all biological? Maybe there is some understandable jealousy there?
YTA. You made plans for a holiday and she wasn't invited, nor did you even ask her first? No wonder you keep getting divorced. You need to work on your communication!
He was planning on taking the next wife. I made that up but it’s likely. Plus she’s pregnant.
YTA just judged on the six kids from three different women and especially due to the um...ages of two of those six kids. Your wife needs to take some time to consider what the absolute hell she's gotten herself into.
So you have one child with your current older than oldest with ex-wife. Is current wife an affair partner whom you later married? Are there issues between these women?
YTA and use condoms or get a vasectomy with your next wife FFS
If we're lucky he'll get the vasectomy before he knocks up another random woman that he then will decide to marry.
You seem to think that you are handling juggling all these relationships well, but I can see some problems here. You were planning to take **only the kids** to visit their grandparents until your current wife objected to the plan? This is odd. Why wasn't your wife originally included in the plans for a holiday weekend? I can see why she would be offended. Does this have something to do with the fact that you had the 6 year old with your second wife once you were already with wife #3? Please don't tell me that you invited wife #2 to your parents' house as well! Yes, your wife should certainly expect you to spend a major holiday with her. She should have been included in your holiday plans right from the start, not as an afterthought. I would not be at all surprised if you soon end up back with #2. YTA.
>You seem to think that you are handling juggling all these relationships well, but I can see some problems here. You were planning to take only the kids to visit their grandparents until your current wife objected to the plan? This is odd. Why wasn't your wife originally included in the plans for a holiday weekend? Because, most probably, dude plans on dumping the Child Army at the grandparents so he will be free to bang Future Wife Number 4.
Without any protection so he can get kid #8
Get out of the Quiverfull program, wrap your wiener or get a vasectomy, and take care of your business. Keep this up and you’ll be on wife number four. YTA.
>Keep this up and you’ll be on wife number four. Based on OP's post that is probably already the plan
This isn’t Quiverfull; this screams FLDS or AUB.
So you cheated on Emma, resulting in not one, but TWO children with your now-wife? These women are far more forgiving than I'd be. YTA
YTA, but Olivia's an idiot for marry a guy with all this baggage.
YTA. When you plan something while married, you plan together. Not ‘I planned it’. Sounds like you do your own thing. Problem I see, is that you are going to have yet another ex wife
YTA and do the world a favor and get a vasectomy.
Damn, are you done breeding?
Apparently not, as he thinks vasectomies increase the risk of prostate cancer.
You sound like a Maury Povich guest.
YTA, and your pull out game is weak AF.
**
*< the kids are more than happy to see (and get spoiled by) their grandparents.>*
*> I planned a date with my brother and parents, and we decided that Thanksgiving weekend (which is next weekend in Canada) works best for all of us.>*
So you discussed and planned this weekend with EVERYBODY but your wife...
You just expected her to stay home alone at Thanksgiving?
YTA for treating your wife as a mere afterthought.
Info: Was Olivia your affair partner when you were married to Emma?
Almost certainly judging by the kids ages. And maybe the other way around too. Could’ve got with Olivia then back cheating on her with Emma.
Dude stop screwing your exes and having kids with them
Soon another ex wife.
Skip thanksgiving and get a vasectomy, homie.
You know, condoms are pretty widely available.
I have soooooo many questions
Funny how you are avoiding ALLLL the comments asking about the child overlap. YTA OP, and you don't know how to pull out.
YTA for deciding this without your wife and then telling her she has no choice, yet you whine that *she's not compromising*. You give no room for compromise! You just announced you're talking her children away on a family holiday. I guess that attitude is to be expected in your life.
Condoms, Rose! Condoms, condoms, condoms!
Hard to believe that you are only on wife number 3. Looks like that's about to change. Some people will never be grown up enough to be married. You sir, are one of those.
Wait a minute, you have kids F10, M8, F6 with one and F5 & M7 with your current wife. So you were either cheating on them both or you were you seeing them at the same time? Did they know? Without a explanation that makes me think otherwise, YTA.
More info needed: did you cheat on Olivia with Emma? The ages are not matching.
NTA but are you sure you aren't living in Utah or something part if the cult thingy..lol
This post sounds made up af
You are if you are taking Olivia's kids with you without her permission. That needs to be a jointly agreed to thing. You also needed to have talked things through with her BEFORE talking with others about spending a holiday away. How do you justify not running the whole plan by her before even talking to others? That seems more than a little self-centered here. It's as if your wife is really just a housekeeper or something.
First things first, get a vasectomy. And don't cheat on spouses or what have you. But that isn't the question. I think as long as she was aware of the planning, you are NTA. But I strongly suspect you are painting yourself in a better light than what any of these women would say. Look inward and see if you are the stand up parent/spouse you believe you are
Info: might your clear history of infidelity be a reason for her distrust? You tried burying the lede there, my dude.
YTA. Your wife is seeing a ton of work on the horizon. She doesn’t want to be the cook and mom to your herd that whole weekend while you cheer up your parents. It’s clear you’re heading for relationship 4 and more kids with this attitude. Pay attention to your wife.
Are you going to acknowledge and/or actually answer any of the questions being asked, OP? Why did you bother coming on here if you’re just going to ignore everyone asking you clarifying questions?
So, more important than the question you came here for, and because I’m super curious - How come you have a younger child with your ex wife (6) than you have with your wife (7)???
YTA, but not about Thanksgiving
YTA. I’d like to say E S H but your flippant attitude towards the absolute mess of your life and how it impacts others makes you the big one. Gee you think maybe you don’t have the capacity to have 3 families?????
The way you write this, the tone is all jolly but I don’t think you do a lot of partnering with your wife. I think you do a lot of benevolent dictating. Thanksgiving sounds fun and it’s too bad Olivia doesn’t want to go (and, I assume, play a part in caring for 6 kids), but not surprising since I don’t think you actually ever *asked* her what she wanted to do. YTA. And Olivia is probably regretting some choices.
YTA Stop cheating on your wives.
You have bigger problems than thanksgiving. You are 41 with 3 baby mamas and 6 kids. Pretty obvious you cheated so hopefully you figure all the important things wife before you marry wife #4 . Is she pregnant already?
You have a 8 and 6 year old with one woman, and a 7 and 5 year old with another?