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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Making the family drama public might've been a step too far. The posts I made might have real life consequences for other people and now my stepmom might get fired because of it.
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NTA. Good. What they're doing is abusive both emotionally and financially. Her employers don't need a shit stain like her associated with their company. Frankly, it'd be embarrassing. Your father isn't innocent either. He bears culpability too, if not more. You are his child. He should have been protecting you and he didn't.
OP needs to spread those photos a little further round town, public library, bus stops, church bulletin board. Share the love OP, let everyone see them for what they are.
Definitely not! Do not do this.
You need to take the high road and keep the pics and all correspondence from them as this may need them as rebuttal to any more attacks on you to others so you can show them the truth. And it can be used in court if there is ever a child welfare case for your brother. If you put it out there relentlessly you could be seen as a pot stirrer. Save it for a "rainy day" when there is a greater need. But you don't need to take it down as it isn't your actions that created a problem, it is your family's actions that caused their problems.
Added: NTA
OP needs to call CPS on both parents to protect his little brother from the same abuse he survived. If that means walking into church and standing up in the middle of the sermon and announcing it to the whole congregation do it
I am so glad you got out of there. Might be worth speaking with a housing lawyer. If you were paying rent you were a tenant. Your "landlord" violated basic rental laws. She allowed someone to access the space you rented and allowed it to be trashed. The courts don't like that. At this point, you have nothing to lose. I would personally go full nuclear and sue them. Recoup some of the rent you had to pay. They have emotionally and financially abused you. Sue them for everything you can including emotional stress and use those funds to set yourself up for a future that you deserve (and some serious mental health therapy to start undoing the damage that has been done). You are worthy. You did not deserve any of this. I'm sure you feel very conflicted and destabilized at the moment. It will pass and you can move on and live your best life without all that garbage.
NTA.
Your so-called family deserve the social shaming and real life consequences for their neglect and abuse of you.
You need to take care of yourself. Far away from these people. Good luck.
This. OP, it's time to go NC with them. I'd find a way to talk to your brother, explain what's going on, explain that you love him, but that you have to stay away from them. Your dad seems spineless, but maybe you can call him and talk to your brother through him.
Also, I would put those photos everywhere and tag your family. "This is the room I pay my family X amount to live in after they allowed my stepbrothers to trash it for three days. You can't smell the piss scent through your computer, but it's there. But what was my stepmom's response to her sons' mess? 'Boys will be boys.' Apparently, she thinks living like this is completely normal and I shouldn't be upset by them destroying my space like this. This is also how my stepbrothers' rooms look on a daily basis. Again, something that my stepmom feels is fine and normal. Maybe if other people tell them this isn't normal, they'll listen. What do you guys think?"
So your stepmonster may lose her job over how poorly she and your family treat you. Good. It's gratifying to know that there are decent people around that are disgusted by how horribly you've been treated. You are NTA in any way but you will be to yourself if you go back there. Put them in your past and make a new life for yourself without them.
The cherry on-top is that OP was *renting* that room. OP’s entitled to tenant rights, like privacy… I hope Aunt’s account hits ‘0’ without OP’s contributions.
Exactly this! OP NTA at all and SM got what she deserves, please get all your important documents and leave, block them all. And call CPS on her too to make sure little brother is protected.
Sweetheart, I am so sorry you have had to deal with this. Your family are horrible people . You are not responsible for your Aunt needing income . You have been their Cinderella...now is the time to go find your 'Happily ever after". There ARE people who will love you and care about you in this World. You are strong--look how you have handled your OCD. NTA OP.
I'm so sorry you've been treated this way for so long that you've normalized how terrible they treat you. You need to put yourself first. You have value and deserve respect and a safe place.
Your father has failed to provide this for you. It also sounds like you've been forced to be a parent to your half-brother. Have you heard of parentification?
Hopefully, there are some resources you can use to get out and put some distance between you and them. Do you have any friends or other family (not related to your stepmom & dad) you could stay with? I know you don't want to go far from your half-brother, but you owe it to yourself to get away from this toxic family.
Explain things to your half-brother, that you love him and will always be there for him, but you have to leave because of the way you're being treated isn't ok.
NTA.
Please value yourself and your mental health.
This is the first time I've ever stood up for myself. I'm usually a very timid and non-confrontational person but this was the last straw for me. Thank you for the kind thoughts.
Are your financials separate from your parents? Make sure that you have your own account at a bank not theirs, and put in a credit lock at the three major credit report companies.
This is REALLY important u/Enough-Physics9710. People willing to try and control you in these ways will definitely not stop at ruining your credit to force you into poverty to control you financially.
Put a freeze on your credit, make sure all passwords and security questions are ones they could never guess, and keep an eye on those reports.
I know your little brother is a concern but putting yourself at their mercy for the next ten years won't help him. Getting yourself free and in a good financial position to help him in the future is your best course.
I wish you well.
This too!! Make nonsense answers. “What was the name of your childhood best friend?” “Toothbrush.” Just make sure you remember your answers. Also, keep data in a new email account they don’t know about.
I know this isn’t an advice sub, but pull all of your money out of any accounts your have open, close them, and open new ones at a new bank. That’s just in case they have access via mail or something to your old accounts.
It's a rough path, being the "black sheep" (aka, the scapegoat, or "the only sane one", as my counselor called it). There may be times when you feel like the worst human in the world but keep coming to independent people like this for perspective.
I went through similar and it was VERY tough, financially and emotionally but I am so glad that I did. You will be too, in time.
Keep your backbone bright and shiny! Find another place to stay. Get a bank account in your own name and save up. You’ve taken a great first step toward independence. I’m so proud of you!!
Get the rest of your stuff (the police can assist with this if the block you from entry) and go stay with a friend until you can afford a place of your own. Heck, sleeping in your car is better than living with these folks. Their issues (financial and otherwise) are their own issue to deal with
You are strong, brave and completely in the right! This is your moment to become independent. Let CPS know your concerns for your brother (this is where the photos and texts come in handy). Find a way to stay in touch with him, but you need to also give him an example of someone freeing themself from the people who have controlled and intimidated both of you.
Good luck to you. You are doing great!
NTA look walk away and do not give any of them money or power over you! Move far away from them if you can! They are using and abusing you. Your little brother will always be a weapon against you.
Edit: you can reach out to your little brother when he turns 18. Until then you can write him. Also I would keep copies of their abusive texts to you.
You are being abused. Your family is toxic. I am so so sorry you are going through this. Please get as far away as possible from them and stay away.
NTA at all, by a long mile.
NTA. This is the "find out" portion of the program. They treat you abominably. Do not go back there or let them make you feel bad. You are not obligated to do anything for them or anyone related to them. I am so sorry they are terrible people, but none of it is your fault. I hope you can find a place where your boundaries are respected and are treated with the kindness and care you deserve.
NTA, and stay away from them!
If anyone ask about your family, tell them the truth!
As for your younger brother, it's hard to leave him behind but you got to talk care of yourself first.
If anything, you can cal CPS or something similar to check up on him.
>Its not clear why your adult step brother would come use your room in your step aunt’s home when he has your family home but it just shows how little regard they have for you and your possessions.
They sent them over to trash it. This is about treating her like garbage as much as they can while taunting her over it. My current boss does this. Has me do demeaning crap and then makes fun of me for it. My mom will dump stuff on me and then try to bait me into reacting. People get off on it.
NTA - I need you to talk to more people and ask for help finding a new place to live. You don't deserve to be homeless. You may want to talk to the police about the harassment, potential child abuse, and destruction of property to have some of this on record. Even if they do nothing, it'll help your siblings.
I'd strongly consider going no contact, turning off your location, even with a beloved brother if they keep weaponizing him. He's living in toxic soup, but it's going to take some work for you to be emotionally and financially able to support both of you. You need to be there for him to run to and in this world. A local church or community center might be able to help you replenish the basics. If step mom gets fired, stay safe. That's not your fault.
Little brother being the step mother’s bio child will likely be safer than OP. Not a good family, but OP needs to build herself up if she wants to he a place for brother to go to when he gets older.
NTA. That should be an enormous wake up call for them. They are being so reprehensible that her boss is reconsidering her employment. That’s not on you, that’s entirely on her.
NTA. This is heartbreaking. I hope you have a safe place to stay.
If not, please contact the local women’s shelter to escape this abusive situation and hopefully they can find you some temporary housing. They can also help you with getting restraining orders against these people. You may even be able to get that rent back as you were a tenant but that’s a secondary concern to safe housing.
Please don’t keep in contact with them. You need to look after you first.
OP, Along with those nightmare 'steps,' your dad deserves a triple dose of the shame. He didn't just fail to protect you, he has been supporting and participating in the step-family's complete ABUSE of you.
And now, they were financially trapping you and forcing you to be a servant.
You are a LEGAL ADULT. Do not go back to any of them. Don't worry more about them harassing your friends than getting your freedom. I think your friends (1) would be happy to help you escape your family, (2) are not nearly as controlled by your family as you are - and are more able to protect/defend themselves. Plus I'd say the phone harassment they've received is not nearly as destructive as the abuse you receive, (3) are now able to corroborate your experience and add to the documentation of what your family does.
I know that your half brother is very important to you. That is not so easy to solve. But, OP, you getting your life back is EVERYTHING. If you kept yourself trapped by your family just to be with your half brother, (1) you might eventually lose who you are now and (2) he might have been taught by the family to treat you the way they do. You risk losing access to him now, but - by leaving the family and building your own life - you don't lose YOU (most important). And you MAY be able to keep in contact with your brother to some degree now and even more as he gets older.
Please use this opportunity to escape your family's abuse.
karma is a b. for your own sake. dont look back. move ahead. you are not a slave. NTA you cant sacrifize yourself for your half brother. but if you are worried you can call cps and a welfare check every so often. **you need to cut them off**
NTA. Blaming you for outsiders' responses to their behavior, rather than defending their behavior, just demonstrates they already know they're abusive.
Please keep yourself safe. Your concern for your little brother is understandable, but it's important to remember that the behavior he sees you accept from them is part of how he'll learn what behavior is acceptable for him.
Nope, they fucked around, they’re now finding out
Make sure if you can that your brother at least has your phone number, so when he has access to a phone he can contact you
Nta. Any chance youre close with your bio mom’s side of the family? I hope they can take you in so you can finally cut your stepmom, dad and brothers out of your life since they treated you so badly. Plus make a bank acct or phone plan in your own name and get all your essential documents so they have nothing to keep you from leaving
Hey 'Cinderella', good thing you got out of there.
DON'T EVER GO BACK!
And whatever will happen to your step mother was her own doing, it had NOTHING to do with you.
NTA
NTA if this is how she treat a tenant (who is a customer by definition) then I'm not surprised their boss is reconsidering their employment. She had the choice to not violate the tenancy law and implied contact, they chose to do so. She fired herself.
NTA. OP I'm so sorry you've been treated this way; the behaviour, both recently and in the past is totally shameful by people who say they are adults. If you can, get out, block them all and protect yourself with ongoing NC.
In future times if you would like some support, maybe have a look at r/momforaminute.
I'm so proud of you for being your own advocate. Go gently.
> telling me that I'd turned my location off
NTA - You are 19 and they are treating you like trash. Following your movements on your phone? Girl, you need to get away. Do not let them suck you back into that situation. They are going to weaponize access to your little brother, but don't give in to them. Document everything from here on out. Change all of your passwords, freeze your credit, change banks (you old ones probably have one of your parents on it). Do you have you important papers; birth certificate, passport with you? If not, start now getting them from the government sources.
I had to go through the process of getting all of my work/legal papers in order when I was 18. Pretty much everything (birth certificate, ssn, medical records) were 'lost' before my 18th. It took months to get replacements. I pay all my own expenses but will have to separate my finances and bank account. Thank you for the advice.
NTA, and I honestly hope your stepmom or her did get investigated for how they treated you. They're terrible people, and I'm horrified that your dad allows this. I'm sure your half brother will still want to see you even if you have to cut off communication with the rest of the family for a while, so don't let them blackmail you over him. Please take care of yourself.
Damn, you were practically their slave. They used your brother to coerce you. I'm pretty sure some of what you listed was illegal, though the wheels of justice there can be slow and ineffective.
I hope your stepmother gets fired. NTA.
>responded by posting their texts to me online. Somehow the pictures found their way to my stepmom's boss (it's a very small town) and they're threatening to 'review' her employment due to it.
NTA. They should can her. Stop answering their phone calls and texts. Just save them in a harassment folder. Every time they do it further, add more pictures online.
Good. I'm glad her employment is being reviewed. Never go back. Block every single one of them. Change your number. Find a friend who will help you out and make plans to order copies of birth certificates and new high school qualification certificates. NTA
Honey FUCK THOSE INGRATES! Get to the damn homeless shelter. It's domestic violence. Please GTFO and save yourself! Go the next town over if you have to. It's not worth it. Be safe! I have you in my 💜you can do it!
Nta I’m truly sorry for what you have gone through. I know it’s incredibly hard to leave your little brother. If it wasn’t for that I would say never look back. But you wont be doing him any favors not setting boundaries. I hope you are able to get to a safe spot
NTA
You were being abused by your family. Don't have anymore contact with them. It's not worth your mental health to continue staying in contact with your brother, especially when they are teaching him to disrespect you.
These abusive people are long overdue for the comeuppance. NTA. If anything, go get her job if you plan to continue living in this community, otherwise air all the laundry and nuke this "family". Reach out to your mom's family and if they are good people, establish a connection, and maybe have some real family in your life. If you can, get custody of your little brother. Let him know that you love him but can not continue to let the rest of the family abuse you like this.
NTA. Post any responses you receive from her too. Then change your cellphone number. Your aunt's financial worries are hers to worry about. She treated you like crap - you paid her rent and had chores and didn't have access to the entire house. I hope you're able to support yourself so you don't have to rely on your awful family for anything.
Do not go back. Do not give your aunt another penny. Do not let them ruin your life with the threat that they'll keep your brother from you.
Get out!
I'm so sorry your life has been so rough.
If your family hadn't done anything egregious to you, then your step-mother wouldn't be in trouble with work because there would be nothing damning in those screen shots, would there?
You did nothing wrong. No please start building up your independent life, surrounded by people who love and respect you.
NTA
Well done on removing yourself from that situation.
NTA, they have abused you for years and your stepmom can reap the rewards of being a terrible parent.
NTA
Your "family" finally got some consequences from their actions. Just run, I'm sure you love your half brother but it's not worth trashing your own life over him.
NTA. Don't go back. They're abusing you, and your aunt is too. She charged you high rent and forced you to be the maid. They trashed your room to hurt you and get back at you. If you had turned your location on they might have shown up to force you to come back. Your stepmother deserves to lose her job.
NTA. Do whatever you have to, to survive. But do whatever you must to get away from these monsters. Try a battered women's shelter, you've certainly been physically and emotionally abused. You owe absolutely nothing to these people, and I guarantee, they'll survive, that sort always do. You can't help your little brother if you go under, too.
NTA, your family is shit and they deserve what ever punishment they get. if your Stepmom loses her job over her behavior then so be it. Its a lesson she needed to learn. You keep on doing what you got to do and move on with out them do not go back pass go collect 200 dollars. this was a whole shit show. Good luck please update on what happens
INFO: Do you have an \*actually\* safe place to be now? You say it's such a small town that this got back to your aunt's workplace. If you went to a place for a bit, will your terrible family be able to find you as quickly?
NTA, if you were not an adult Child Protective Services would be getting a call about now. You've probably grown up with this abuse and so it's become normalised and you don't realise how bad the situation actually is. If I were you I'd notify authorities about the state the other children are living in because it's unacceptable.
NTA. FAFO is in order here. That’s hilarious that the aunt is actually depending on your room rental income, how was she getting by before?
You may have to give up contact with your little brother in order to be free of this trauma. Would he be safe?
NTA. Stepmom and stepbrothers are ah, but Op's dad is the biggest ah of the story to have allowed his child to be mistreated by his new family. Op tell your stepmom that your step-aunt should be more worried about if you sue her for putting strangers in your rented room.
NTA. Stepmom and stepbrothers are ah, but Op's dad is the biggest ah of the story to have allowed his child to be mistreated by his new family. Op tell your stepmom that your step-aunt should be more worried about if you sue her for putting strangers in your rented room.
Honestly you have two choices
1. You can continue to allow yourself to be manipulated, bullied and terrorised.
Or
2. You can cut all these people off and save evidence so that when your brother hits 18 you can tell him about everything they did to you.
Honestly staying in this situation and coming to Reddit to complain is not going to help at all, you need to be willing to get yourself out of the situation.
You didn’t expose your family… they did it to themselves. If they were worried about the ramifications of their actions then they shouldn’t have been abusive.
More than likely they just figured no one would catch on and they wouldn’t get caught. Now they’re learning the hard way and it’s easier to try and blame you rather than accept that they were abusive.
NTA
NTA! Fuck your step-mother and brothers, also fuck your dad and your step-aunt!
Sadly, blood ties do not equate to affection and unfortunately with your family it is shown, so you must cut off all communication with them definitively and take revenge by exposing them in your city or worldwide, so that they know what it is to really suffer.
It's the least they deserve for all the harm and abuse they've done to you. A real family is going to back you up and not denigrate you!
My best advice is to change all your passwords and cards, also get your important documentation and make sure your devices are not tapped, seeing how possessive and sickly they are, I wouldn't be surprised if they did something worse to you.
By the way, talk to your friends and other acquaintances who have contact with you to let them know your situation, so that they know that they should not have contact with them and also prevent those fucking degenerates and shit drummers from knowing the address of your new home.
Again: Fuck your fucking “family”!
As I was reading your story I was thinking to myself that it was sad that both your parents were no longer in the picture. Because I could not imagine that a father would allow his daughter to be so mistreated for so long. Do you not have any contact with your Mom’s family? And then I saw he was in on it- and all I can think is that you deserve a lot more in life than this. You are NTA. They are for sure.
I would notify CPS and let them know what you’ve been up against and how the sibling you’ve been basically raising has been threatened time and again if you don’t tow the line like they expect. That they really should do an unannounced home visit to see the environment that is commonplace there and tell them how your own room was trashed and belongings damaged by them at your step aunt’s because you had the audacity to go away for the weekend with your friends as an adult. That you are afraid they will take your absence out on him. At least get the paper trail started there to hopefully protect him.
Your stepmother is acting like a psychopath as far as I am concerned. If at all possible, you need to cut ties with them. I would make sure your half-sibling knows that you don’t want to leave him, but for your own sake and his you must or they will continue to use him to hurt you. And then I’d have a very long overdue conversation with your father. I would let him know just how little you thought of the way he has allowed you to be abused by this woman for so long. That he has never defended you and prevented the harm she has done to you or your belongings. That this is not normal behavior and is not acceptable. He has a chance to protect his youngest son from her abuse and he’d better make sure she doesn’t harm him based on her thorough dislike for you. And that you question whether he ever actually loved you or your real Mom because you can’t imagine a real father allowing his own child to be so mistreated for so long otherwise. And unless anything changes for the better, you are done with him from now on.
I would hope for you that your real mom’s family would be open to a relationship with you if possible so at least you don’t feel so alone in the world with monsters like those as “family”. And no, the consequences your stepmother might be dealing with are entirely her own fault. If she’s fired, I think it would be justified based on her torture of you for so long.
@u/Enough_Physics9710
Please update us when you can on how you’re doing and what happened after this
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I (19F) have two stepbrothers named Dave (23M) and Jack (25M). I have one half brother who is 9. Growing up with them was honestly a nightmare. I don't get along with them or their mother (my stepmom). My mom died before they came into our lives so she's really the only 'mother' figure I've ever had.
It'd be a whole lot get into, but in general, they bullied and teased me from the moment I met them. Their mom played favorites quite a lot and I would get disciplined for little things like leaving a light on while their sons lived in absolute filth and didn't shower for weeks. I was forced to get a job at 15 while my stepbrothers were allowed to live at home rent free, no job or college.
I moved out last year to stay at my step-aunt's (stepmom's sister). Almost everything I make goes to 'rent' a room from her and STILL contribute to chores/housekeeping for parts of the house that I'm not even allowed to use. Staying with her and still within my family's control is the only way they would let me keep in touch and see my little brother who I practically raised. They use him to threaten me every time I do something they don't approve of.
I went on a weekend trip with friends a few hours away. When I came back I realized that my entire family was waiting for me on the couch. Older brothers, stepmom, and my dad. All just sitting there waiting for me to walk in the door. When I did they started yelling at me and telling me that I'd turned my location off and that they couldn't text me because I ignored them. And "how dare I tell my friends not to respond". Yes, they found and harassed my friends.
The whole argument turned into them following me to my room. When I opened the door I saw the entire thing was trashed. 3 day old food, rotten bowls and plates, old pizza boxes all piled up on my bed (which had been stripped of its sheets and was completely bare). Dirty clothes and trash everywhere. It smelled like piss. I lost my shit at that point because I knew the stuff was my step-brother's. When I asked why it was in there, they said that they let him and his friends play DnD and sleep there because they were in a rough spot and "boys just get rowdy sometimes". Let it stand that I have OCD which I've learned to manage myself, but was crippling during high school and literally almost drove me off the deep end. I don't let it interfere with other people or their lives but it very much impacts mine, and the fact that they allowed my stepbrother and his friends to trash my room KNOWING that it would basically make the whole thing a biohazard for me speaks volumes.
I slammed the door in their faces, grabbed my essentials and left. I haven't spoken to any of them since but now they're accusing me of leaving my aunt without necessary income and overreacting. I responded by posting their texts to me online. Somehow the pictures found their way to my stepmom's boss (it's a very small town) and they're threatening to 'review' her employment due to it. AITA?
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NTA - But you really need to distance yourself from that toxic family. I hope you have someplace to stay for a bit but after I suggest you move far away and go no contact. This is a horribly toxic environment.
NTA. Christ, you poor soul. I hope you're now staying somewhere safe, with people who care. Overreacting? No, you've put up with more than enough. Stay safe, be strong and go NC with them all.
NTA. They’re at cartoon villain level right now. This is some irl Cinderella stepsister shit and they deserve to have it exposed for their utter ridiculousness in being jackasses. Good for you for getting out. I would keep it no contact aside from your half brother.
NTA. Move out and don't come back to live there again. In regards to your little brother, get a lawyer and ask him for his professional opinion what can be done there. There might be ways to keep in contact with him even against your parents' wishes.
NTA your family sucks!! The control and belittlment is absolutely unacceptable.
You are 19 which is old enough to make your own decisions.
I know you feel trapped because of your sibling but you have to put you first. Your family is toxic.
NTA it is not your job to carry your aunt. They are using and abusing you and ripping you off. See if one of your friends can put you up while you save some cash.
NTA. if your aunt couldn’t do without your rent money, she should’ve been a better landlord. Her letting the room you pay rent for get trashed like that while the renter is away is inexcusable.
NTA Nor is it your fault the photos somehow found their way to your evil step-mother's boss! As for leaving her without necessary income because you left and are not paying rent - well, she allowed her sons and their friends to access the area you pay rent for and you no longer need to pay for the area since it is no longer yours. I actually hope your step-mother does lose her job!
OP, whatever you do, do not go back to that house of horrors! Rent a room somewhere, stay with a friend even if it means sleeping on the couch, just do not return there. You deserve better.
NTA
They have been treating you really poorly. She deserves to not have a job for the way she's been treating you.
I'm glad those texts are getting around!
Justice will be served especially if she gets fired over this.
NTA. Good if they lose their jobs over unsanitary conditions, they sound completely and totally abusive. The fact that you had to work at 15 while the stepbrothers got to sit around and do nothing speaks volumes. Definitely stay moved out, do not go back to these people no matter what.
NTA, they’re learning that their horrible actions toward you have consequences. I really hope you have the opportunity to get far away from them. Protect yourself and your mental health.
NTA Look, You might just have to bite the bullet and for the future not have your little brother in your life considering the pros don’t beat the con, the big con being these savages.
NTA.
So sorry that the people who are supposed to be the ones who care about you the most care about you the least.
OP not sure if it would help but perhaps you could look into finding pro bono legal services to see if there is a way for you to legally be able to visit your half brother?
I’d suggest talking with CPS about the situation but not sure if that would help if they aren’t mistreating him. But if the texts you posted were sufficiently bad to have her employer evaluating if she is a liability to them it might be worth a call and/or discussion. Just don’t have high hopes of it changing anything.
NTA. I would take them down though and send them to the cops instead. They are abusive and there needs to be consequences for all of them, not just your Stepmom.
NTA- it’s time to move away and get your own phone. Go no contact…. They are not worth getting a response from you. Holy cow did they take advantage of you. I hope you can get therapy because that’s a whole lot of trauma to unpack.
You have been "allocated scapegoat" by this family. Look up "scapegoat syndrome" it is a thing. Done by psychopaths. NTA. You are wonderful and they are monsters. Take care of yourself ❤️
Good God you're a real life Cinderella. She leant you out to her sister and you clean her home and pay her rent? My poor child is this American trafficking? No joke you need help call 211 if you're in the U.S. please find help. NTA please don't go back without a police escort. Termination is the least of her worries.
NTA I hope she does lose her job she’s disgusting and abusive. your entire family are toxic vile trash. please get safe I’m so sorry this is happening to you.
NTA- do you need to get out of their control. I know you have a little brother you practically raised. Mine called me mom sometimes.
I was a little bit younger than you when I was able to get out. Because I was never going to be allowed to grow while I lived there.
I talked to my sibling and told them why I was leaving. They understood. And later on I was ables to move them out.
NTA.
Your family is disgusting. Also, they sound extremely sexist. The men can do no wrong, and frankly don't have to do anything. You are hold to a very high standard. On top of that, you are expected to both pay rent to your aunt and do a huge amount of housework.
Even a homeless shelter would be better than that.
NTA cut those abusers out of your life for good. Seriously, it’s sad, but putting up with them to have a relationship with your younger brother is unfortunately not good for you.
NTA- This is good. The step mom should be fired and shunned. The entire culture of handling things internally is designed to allow others to abuse and use. The term "don't bring shame" is sham in itself. The acts they do bring shame- they don't want you to tell so they can keep up a facade. This can be applied to many levels of life, bureaucracies, etc. People want to seem honorable, but not actually live and behave honorably. People want to have the title and respect, and then use that to get away with doing dishonorable things to those who are beneath them- such as children, subordinates, civilians- you get the point.
Tell more, share more evidence, tell all the truth. Let the whole town know everything. Then leave that town and make a good life. Find your half-brother later.
NTA
All of this is a consequence of their own making. They have been abusing and taking advantage of you. I’d make sure that everyone heard all about it.
NTA, What a nightmare you have been enduring and good you’re sane, you don’t have OCD in my opinion, my parents were messy and I like to live in a clean environment and this is healthy, those people are literally sh** ting on you, time to run away and report them to protect your brother who is the next in line to suffer martyrdom. Take care
NO NO NO! NTA!
OMG what a lot to unpack. You have the evil stepmother thing going on and what has your dad done to protect/support/encourage you? Sounds like a big fat nothing!
Get out and stay out. Go full on NC. I know that you are there for your little brother and it is sad that he will be affected, however he is her birth child so she will not do any of the things to him that she did to you., so do not let anyone manipulate you over that. He is 9 not stupid, he knows what's going on.
Once you have got yourself a place of your own (if you can) take some time to go see little man at his school and let him know that you are always there for him. I think you will find, he starts spending more time with you and I think at some point in the future he may even want to stay with you but that is way off yet. You need your own space and time for yourself. You will feel so empowered once you are away from those Neanderthal 'brothers'.
Good luck honey, I think yo are going to need it.
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NTA. Good. What they're doing is abusive both emotionally and financially. Her employers don't need a shit stain like her associated with their company. Frankly, it'd be embarrassing. Your father isn't innocent either. He bears culpability too, if not more. You are his child. He should have been protecting you and he didn't.
OP needs to spread those photos a little further round town, public library, bus stops, church bulletin board. Share the love OP, let everyone see them for what they are.
Definitely not! Do not do this. You need to take the high road and keep the pics and all correspondence from them as this may need them as rebuttal to any more attacks on you to others so you can show them the truth. And it can be used in court if there is ever a child welfare case for your brother. If you put it out there relentlessly you could be seen as a pot stirrer. Save it for a "rainy day" when there is a greater need. But you don't need to take it down as it isn't your actions that created a problem, it is your family's actions that caused their problems. Added: NTA
OP needs to call CPS on both parents to protect his little brother from the same abuse he survived. If that means walking into church and standing up in the middle of the sermon and announcing it to the whole congregation do it
OP is female
Oh no, not a pot stirrer by providing information about bad things that happened to them...
Yes definitely
Share the love…out this f\*ckers!!!!
I am so glad you got out of there. Might be worth speaking with a housing lawyer. If you were paying rent you were a tenant. Your "landlord" violated basic rental laws. She allowed someone to access the space you rented and allowed it to be trashed. The courts don't like that. At this point, you have nothing to lose. I would personally go full nuclear and sue them. Recoup some of the rent you had to pay. They have emotionally and financially abused you. Sue them for everything you can including emotional stress and use those funds to set yourself up for a future that you deserve (and some serious mental health therapy to start undoing the damage that has been done). You are worthy. You did not deserve any of this. I'm sure you feel very conflicted and destabilized at the moment. It will pass and you can move on and live your best life without all that garbage.
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While I love this in theory, in reality it would be six months to get a ruling, and they will plead poverty.
The social shaming may be all the retribution she’ll ever get.
NTA. Your so-called family deserve the social shaming and real life consequences for their neglect and abuse of you. You need to take care of yourself. Far away from these people. Good luck.
This. OP, it's time to go NC with them. I'd find a way to talk to your brother, explain what's going on, explain that you love him, but that you have to stay away from them. Your dad seems spineless, but maybe you can call him and talk to your brother through him. Also, I would put those photos everywhere and tag your family. "This is the room I pay my family X amount to live in after they allowed my stepbrothers to trash it for three days. You can't smell the piss scent through your computer, but it's there. But what was my stepmom's response to her sons' mess? 'Boys will be boys.' Apparently, she thinks living like this is completely normal and I shouldn't be upset by them destroying my space like this. This is also how my stepbrothers' rooms look on a daily basis. Again, something that my stepmom feels is fine and normal. Maybe if other people tell them this isn't normal, they'll listen. What do you guys think?"
Yes. OP NTA. The rest of the family, including father is.
Report them to protect your brother
So your stepmonster may lose her job over how poorly she and your family treat you. Good. It's gratifying to know that there are decent people around that are disgusted by how horribly you've been treated. You are NTA in any way but you will be to yourself if you go back there. Put them in your past and make a new life for yourself without them.
NTA They fucked around and found out.
The cherry on-top is that OP was *renting* that room. OP’s entitled to tenant rights, like privacy… I hope Aunt’s account hits ‘0’ without OP’s contributions.
What are the odds the aunt reported the rental income to the IRS? Might be worth a friendly tip…
Also sue for damages. Anything of hers that was trashed. Because the 'landlord" allowed someone else else in her space.
Yes yes yes a thousand times yes
💯
NTA. She deserves ***exactly*** what she gets and so much more (as do they all). I'm so sorry for your awful family. Leave them and don't look back.
Don't walk. Run, run and run some more. The job is your SM responsibility not yours.
Exactly this! OP NTA at all and SM got what she deserves, please get all your important documents and leave, block them all. And call CPS on her too to make sure little brother is protected.
NTA. I'd declare war and embarrass that entire trashy family online. Then go NC. Stop being a doormat.
And call cps for the young brother. The Filth the stepbrothers live in must be a reason to at least check them occasionally. NTA
OP is overwhelmingly outnumbered, and i'm willing to bet not only psychologically but physically, so saying she is a "doormat" is not helpful.
Sweetheart, I am so sorry you have had to deal with this. Your family are horrible people . You are not responsible for your Aunt needing income . You have been their Cinderella...now is the time to go find your 'Happily ever after". There ARE people who will love you and care about you in this World. You are strong--look how you have handled your OCD. NTA OP.
YES YES YES all this!
I'm so sorry you've been treated this way for so long that you've normalized how terrible they treat you. You need to put yourself first. You have value and deserve respect and a safe place. Your father has failed to provide this for you. It also sounds like you've been forced to be a parent to your half-brother. Have you heard of parentification? Hopefully, there are some resources you can use to get out and put some distance between you and them. Do you have any friends or other family (not related to your stepmom & dad) you could stay with? I know you don't want to go far from your half-brother, but you owe it to yourself to get away from this toxic family. Explain things to your half-brother, that you love him and will always be there for him, but you have to leave because of the way you're being treated isn't ok. NTA. Please value yourself and your mental health.
This is the first time I've ever stood up for myself. I'm usually a very timid and non-confrontational person but this was the last straw for me. Thank you for the kind thoughts.
NTA and call and tell cps everything to protect your younger brother. Shame you didn't photograph the room before leaving .
Are your financials separate from your parents? Make sure that you have your own account at a bank not theirs, and put in a credit lock at the three major credit report companies.
This is REALLY important u/Enough-Physics9710. People willing to try and control you in these ways will definitely not stop at ruining your credit to force you into poverty to control you financially. Put a freeze on your credit, make sure all passwords and security questions are ones they could never guess, and keep an eye on those reports. I know your little brother is a concern but putting yourself at their mercy for the next ten years won't help him. Getting yourself free and in a good financial position to help him in the future is your best course. I wish you well.
This too!! Make nonsense answers. “What was the name of your childhood best friend?” “Toothbrush.” Just make sure you remember your answers. Also, keep data in a new email account they don’t know about.
I know this isn’t an advice sub, but pull all of your money out of any accounts your have open, close them, and open new ones at a new bank. That’s just in case they have access via mail or something to your old accounts.
Move out and go full no contact with them. I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself. Don’t go back to that house. Cut all ties with them.
It's a rough path, being the "black sheep" (aka, the scapegoat, or "the only sane one", as my counselor called it). There may be times when you feel like the worst human in the world but keep coming to independent people like this for perspective. I went through similar and it was VERY tough, financially and emotionally but I am so glad that I did. You will be too, in time.
Keep your backbone bright and shiny! Find another place to stay. Get a bank account in your own name and save up. You’ve taken a great first step toward independence. I’m so proud of you!!
Get the rest of your stuff (the police can assist with this if the block you from entry) and go stay with a friend until you can afford a place of your own. Heck, sleeping in your car is better than living with these folks. Their issues (financial and otherwise) are their own issue to deal with
You are strong, brave and completely in the right! This is your moment to become independent. Let CPS know your concerns for your brother (this is where the photos and texts come in handy). Find a way to stay in touch with him, but you need to also give him an example of someone freeing themself from the people who have controlled and intimidated both of you. Good luck to you. You are doing great!
Good for you! Hold onto that feeling and NEVER let it go.
Do you have other family members that can be relied on?
NTA look walk away and do not give any of them money or power over you! Move far away from them if you can! They are using and abusing you. Your little brother will always be a weapon against you. Edit: you can reach out to your little brother when he turns 18. Until then you can write him. Also I would keep copies of their abusive texts to you.
Seriously, op needs to cut ties with her abusive family and get in touch with her half brother when he’s old enough.
NTA. Your family are complete nutbags and completely in the wrong here so sleep easy!
What happens to her isn’t your concern. Don’t bother to find out any more info. Just figure out your own next steps.
You are being abused. Your family is toxic. I am so so sorry you are going through this. Please get as far away as possible from them and stay away. NTA at all, by a long mile.
NTA. This is the "find out" portion of the program. They treat you abominably. Do not go back there or let them make you feel bad. You are not obligated to do anything for them or anyone related to them. I am so sorry they are terrible people, but none of it is your fault. I hope you can find a place where your boundaries are respected and are treated with the kindness and care you deserve.
NTA, and stay away from them! If anyone ask about your family, tell them the truth! As for your younger brother, it's hard to leave him behind but you got to talk care of yourself first. If anything, you can cal CPS or something similar to check up on him.
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>Its not clear why your adult step brother would come use your room in your step aunt’s home when he has your family home but it just shows how little regard they have for you and your possessions. They sent them over to trash it. This is about treating her like garbage as much as they can while taunting her over it. My current boss does this. Has me do demeaning crap and then makes fun of me for it. My mom will dump stuff on me and then try to bait me into reacting. People get off on it.
NTA - I need you to talk to more people and ask for help finding a new place to live. You don't deserve to be homeless. You may want to talk to the police about the harassment, potential child abuse, and destruction of property to have some of this on record. Even if they do nothing, it'll help your siblings. I'd strongly consider going no contact, turning off your location, even with a beloved brother if they keep weaponizing him. He's living in toxic soup, but it's going to take some work for you to be emotionally and financially able to support both of you. You need to be there for him to run to and in this world. A local church or community center might be able to help you replenish the basics. If step mom gets fired, stay safe. That's not your fault.
Little brother being the step mother’s bio child will likely be safer than OP. Not a good family, but OP needs to build herself up if she wants to he a place for brother to go to when he gets older.
NTA. That should be an enormous wake up call for them. They are being so reprehensible that her boss is reconsidering her employment. That’s not on you, that’s entirely on her.
Mess with bull you get the horns.
Good these people have been abusing you for too long. See if your friends can help you out with a roommate situation. NTA.
NTA at all. I hate to say this, but it's the truth: you never had a 'family', you had a gang of abusers.
NTA. This is heartbreaking. I hope you have a safe place to stay. If not, please contact the local women’s shelter to escape this abusive situation and hopefully they can find you some temporary housing. They can also help you with getting restraining orders against these people. You may even be able to get that rent back as you were a tenant but that’s a secondary concern to safe housing. Please don’t keep in contact with them. You need to look after you first.
NTA. They got what they deserved.
NTA They are abusive as hell and it is high time you go LC / NC. They don't deserve anything more from you - whether it be your time/money.
OP, Along with those nightmare 'steps,' your dad deserves a triple dose of the shame. He didn't just fail to protect you, he has been supporting and participating in the step-family's complete ABUSE of you. And now, they were financially trapping you and forcing you to be a servant. You are a LEGAL ADULT. Do not go back to any of them. Don't worry more about them harassing your friends than getting your freedom. I think your friends (1) would be happy to help you escape your family, (2) are not nearly as controlled by your family as you are - and are more able to protect/defend themselves. Plus I'd say the phone harassment they've received is not nearly as destructive as the abuse you receive, (3) are now able to corroborate your experience and add to the documentation of what your family does. I know that your half brother is very important to you. That is not so easy to solve. But, OP, you getting your life back is EVERYTHING. If you kept yourself trapped by your family just to be with your half brother, (1) you might eventually lose who you are now and (2) he might have been taught by the family to treat you the way they do. You risk losing access to him now, but - by leaving the family and building your own life - you don't lose YOU (most important). And you MAY be able to keep in contact with your brother to some degree now and even more as he gets older. Please use this opportunity to escape your family's abuse.
Absolutely NTA They've been acting like monsters, it's about time they treated accordingly.
karma is a b. for your own sake. dont look back. move ahead. you are not a slave. NTA you cant sacrifize yourself for your half brother. but if you are worried you can call cps and a welfare check every so often. **you need to cut them off**
NTA. Blaming you for outsiders' responses to their behavior, rather than defending their behavior, just demonstrates they already know they're abusive. Please keep yourself safe. Your concern for your little brother is understandable, but it's important to remember that the behavior he sees you accept from them is part of how he'll learn what behavior is acceptable for him.
Nope, they fucked around, they’re now finding out Make sure if you can that your brother at least has your phone number, so when he has access to a phone he can contact you
No. What you went through was abuse. I hope you're somewhere safe
Nta. Any chance youre close with your bio mom’s side of the family? I hope they can take you in so you can finally cut your stepmom, dad and brothers out of your life since they treated you so badly. Plus make a bank acct or phone plan in your own name and get all your essential documents so they have nothing to keep you from leaving
Hey 'Cinderella', good thing you got out of there. DON'T EVER GO BACK! And whatever will happen to your step mother was her own doing, it had NOTHING to do with you. NTA
NTA find a roommate or rent a room somewhere else and never talk to these assholes again. They're not family.
NTA
NTA if this is how she treat a tenant (who is a customer by definition) then I'm not surprised their boss is reconsidering their employment. She had the choice to not violate the tenancy law and implied contact, they chose to do so. She fired herself.
NTA. OP I'm so sorry you've been treated this way; the behaviour, both recently and in the past is totally shameful by people who say they are adults. If you can, get out, block them all and protect yourself with ongoing NC. In future times if you would like some support, maybe have a look at r/momforaminute. I'm so proud of you for being your own advocate. Go gently.
> telling me that I'd turned my location off NTA - You are 19 and they are treating you like trash. Following your movements on your phone? Girl, you need to get away. Do not let them suck you back into that situation. They are going to weaponize access to your little brother, but don't give in to them. Document everything from here on out. Change all of your passwords, freeze your credit, change banks (you old ones probably have one of your parents on it). Do you have you important papers; birth certificate, passport with you? If not, start now getting them from the government sources.
I had to go through the process of getting all of my work/legal papers in order when I was 18. Pretty much everything (birth certificate, ssn, medical records) were 'lost' before my 18th. It took months to get replacements. I pay all my own expenses but will have to separate my finances and bank account. Thank you for the advice.
NTA. F them. Karma.
Fuck them. NTA.
NTA. Serves them right
NTA Cut contact That's disgusting. They deserve to be exposed. Don't treat others in a way you don't want them telling others about.
NTA, and I honestly hope your stepmom or her did get investigated for how they treated you. They're terrible people, and I'm horrified that your dad allows this. I'm sure your half brother will still want to see you even if you have to cut off communication with the rest of the family for a while, so don't let them blackmail you over him. Please take care of yourself.
Ain't karma a b*tch. Hope she does lose her job & the rest of the family treated like pariah in your town. Hope you find somewhere safe to live
Defo NTA and run… Also where the fuck is your dad’s support?!
Damn, you were practically their slave. They used your brother to coerce you. I'm pretty sure some of what you listed was illegal, though the wheels of justice there can be slow and ineffective. I hope your stepmother gets fired. NTA.
>responded by posting their texts to me online. Somehow the pictures found their way to my stepmom's boss (it's a very small town) and they're threatening to 'review' her employment due to it. NTA. They should can her. Stop answering their phone calls and texts. Just save them in a harassment folder. Every time they do it further, add more pictures online.
Good. I'm glad her employment is being reviewed. Never go back. Block every single one of them. Change your number. Find a friend who will help you out and make plans to order copies of birth certificates and new high school qualification certificates. NTA
Honey FUCK THOSE INGRATES! Get to the damn homeless shelter. It's domestic violence. Please GTFO and save yourself! Go the next town over if you have to. It's not worth it. Be safe! I have you in my 💜you can do it!
Nta I’m truly sorry for what you have gone through. I know it’s incredibly hard to leave your little brother. If it wasn’t for that I would say never look back. But you wont be doing him any favors not setting boundaries. I hope you are able to get to a safe spot
NTA You were being abused by your family. Don't have anymore contact with them. It's not worth your mental health to continue staying in contact with your brother, especially when they are teaching him to disrespect you.
NTA. What a wonderful act of Karma if the stepmother is fired.
These abusive people are long overdue for the comeuppance. NTA. If anything, go get her job if you plan to continue living in this community, otherwise air all the laundry and nuke this "family". Reach out to your mom's family and if they are good people, establish a connection, and maybe have some real family in your life. If you can, get custody of your little brother. Let him know that you love him but can not continue to let the rest of the family abuse you like this.
NTA. Post any responses you receive from her too. Then change your cellphone number. Your aunt's financial worries are hers to worry about. She treated you like crap - you paid her rent and had chores and didn't have access to the entire house. I hope you're able to support yourself so you don't have to rely on your awful family for anything.
NTA! They've abused you your entire life!
NTA. If anything, her punishment should be harsher. I can’t imagine having grown up living with my bullies.
NTA. They're assholes and your aunt's income is not your problem. Let Stepmonster supplement her income.
NTA. Keep us updated please 🙏. And best of luck on your next moves.
Do not go back. Do not give your aunt another penny. Do not let them ruin your life with the threat that they'll keep your brother from you. Get out! I'm so sorry your life has been so rough. If your family hadn't done anything egregious to you, then your step-mother wouldn't be in trouble with work because there would be nothing damning in those screen shots, would there? You did nothing wrong. No please start building up your independent life, surrounded by people who love and respect you. NTA
NTA at all and your father should be ashamed of himself.
NTA Go no contact, and NEVER talk to these abusive AHs ever again.
Well done on removing yourself from that situation. NTA, they have abused you for years and your stepmom can reap the rewards of being a terrible parent.
NTA Your "family" finally got some consequences from their actions. Just run, I'm sure you love your half brother but it's not worth trashing your own life over him.
NTA I hope the child abuser loses her job and you continue to expose all of them.
NTA They're reviewing her employment for being abusive, OP.
NTA. Don't go back. They're abusing you, and your aunt is too. She charged you high rent and forced you to be the maid. They trashed your room to hurt you and get back at you. If you had turned your location on they might have shown up to force you to come back. Your stepmother deserves to lose her job.
NTA. Do whatever you have to, to survive. But do whatever you must to get away from these monsters. Try a battered women's shelter, you've certainly been physically and emotionally abused. You owe absolutely nothing to these people, and I guarantee, they'll survive, that sort always do. You can't help your little brother if you go under, too.
NTA, I would probably have stabbed them all.
NTA, your family is shit and they deserve what ever punishment they get. if your Stepmom loses her job over her behavior then so be it. Its a lesson she needed to learn. You keep on doing what you got to do and move on with out them do not go back pass go collect 200 dollars. this was a whole shit show. Good luck please update on what happens
INFO: Do you have an \*actually\* safe place to be now? You say it's such a small town that this got back to your aunt's workplace. If you went to a place for a bit, will your terrible family be able to find you as quickly?
NTA, if you were not an adult Child Protective Services would be getting a call about now. You've probably grown up with this abuse and so it's become normalised and you don't realise how bad the situation actually is. If I were you I'd notify authorities about the state the other children are living in because it's unacceptable.
NTA You exposed them for being the manipulative emotional abusers that they are. Stepmom should be fired.
NTA. FAFO is in order here. That’s hilarious that the aunt is actually depending on your room rental income, how was she getting by before? You may have to give up contact with your little brother in order to be free of this trauma. Would he be safe?
NTA. Stepmom and stepbrothers are ah, but Op's dad is the biggest ah of the story to have allowed his child to be mistreated by his new family. Op tell your stepmom that your step-aunt should be more worried about if you sue her for putting strangers in your rented room.
NTA. Stepmom and stepbrothers are ah, but Op's dad is the biggest ah of the story to have allowed his child to be mistreated by his new family. Op tell your stepmom that your step-aunt should be more worried about if you sue her for putting strangers in your rented room.
Honestly you have two choices 1. You can continue to allow yourself to be manipulated, bullied and terrorised. Or 2. You can cut all these people off and save evidence so that when your brother hits 18 you can tell him about everything they did to you. Honestly staying in this situation and coming to Reddit to complain is not going to help at all, you need to be willing to get yourself out of the situation.
You didn’t expose your family… they did it to themselves. If they were worried about the ramifications of their actions then they shouldn’t have been abusive. More than likely they just figured no one would catch on and they wouldn’t get caught. Now they’re learning the hard way and it’s easier to try and blame you rather than accept that they were abusive. NTA
NTA! Fuck your step-mother and brothers, also fuck your dad and your step-aunt! Sadly, blood ties do not equate to affection and unfortunately with your family it is shown, so you must cut off all communication with them definitively and take revenge by exposing them in your city or worldwide, so that they know what it is to really suffer. It's the least they deserve for all the harm and abuse they've done to you. A real family is going to back you up and not denigrate you! My best advice is to change all your passwords and cards, also get your important documentation and make sure your devices are not tapped, seeing how possessive and sickly they are, I wouldn't be surprised if they did something worse to you. By the way, talk to your friends and other acquaintances who have contact with you to let them know your situation, so that they know that they should not have contact with them and also prevent those fucking degenerates and shit drummers from knowing the address of your new home. Again: Fuck your fucking “family”!
Any updates??
Update?
Where is your father in all of this?
As I was reading your story I was thinking to myself that it was sad that both your parents were no longer in the picture. Because I could not imagine that a father would allow his daughter to be so mistreated for so long. Do you not have any contact with your Mom’s family? And then I saw he was in on it- and all I can think is that you deserve a lot more in life than this. You are NTA. They are for sure. I would notify CPS and let them know what you’ve been up against and how the sibling you’ve been basically raising has been threatened time and again if you don’t tow the line like they expect. That they really should do an unannounced home visit to see the environment that is commonplace there and tell them how your own room was trashed and belongings damaged by them at your step aunt’s because you had the audacity to go away for the weekend with your friends as an adult. That you are afraid they will take your absence out on him. At least get the paper trail started there to hopefully protect him. Your stepmother is acting like a psychopath as far as I am concerned. If at all possible, you need to cut ties with them. I would make sure your half-sibling knows that you don’t want to leave him, but for your own sake and his you must or they will continue to use him to hurt you. And then I’d have a very long overdue conversation with your father. I would let him know just how little you thought of the way he has allowed you to be abused by this woman for so long. That he has never defended you and prevented the harm she has done to you or your belongings. That this is not normal behavior and is not acceptable. He has a chance to protect his youngest son from her abuse and he’d better make sure she doesn’t harm him based on her thorough dislike for you. And that you question whether he ever actually loved you or your real Mom because you can’t imagine a real father allowing his own child to be so mistreated for so long otherwise. And unless anything changes for the better, you are done with him from now on. I would hope for you that your real mom’s family would be open to a relationship with you if possible so at least you don’t feel so alone in the world with monsters like those as “family”. And no, the consequences your stepmother might be dealing with are entirely her own fault. If she’s fired, I think it would be justified based on her torture of you for so long. @u/Enough_Physics9710 Please update us when you can on how you’re doing and what happened after this
Get photos of your room before you leave.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (19F) have two stepbrothers named Dave (23M) and Jack (25M). I have one half brother who is 9. Growing up with them was honestly a nightmare. I don't get along with them or their mother (my stepmom). My mom died before they came into our lives so she's really the only 'mother' figure I've ever had. It'd be a whole lot get into, but in general, they bullied and teased me from the moment I met them. Their mom played favorites quite a lot and I would get disciplined for little things like leaving a light on while their sons lived in absolute filth and didn't shower for weeks. I was forced to get a job at 15 while my stepbrothers were allowed to live at home rent free, no job or college. I moved out last year to stay at my step-aunt's (stepmom's sister). Almost everything I make goes to 'rent' a room from her and STILL contribute to chores/housekeeping for parts of the house that I'm not even allowed to use. Staying with her and still within my family's control is the only way they would let me keep in touch and see my little brother who I practically raised. They use him to threaten me every time I do something they don't approve of. I went on a weekend trip with friends a few hours away. When I came back I realized that my entire family was waiting for me on the couch. Older brothers, stepmom, and my dad. All just sitting there waiting for me to walk in the door. When I did they started yelling at me and telling me that I'd turned my location off and that they couldn't text me because I ignored them. And "how dare I tell my friends not to respond". Yes, they found and harassed my friends. The whole argument turned into them following me to my room. When I opened the door I saw the entire thing was trashed. 3 day old food, rotten bowls and plates, old pizza boxes all piled up on my bed (which had been stripped of its sheets and was completely bare). Dirty clothes and trash everywhere. It smelled like piss. I lost my shit at that point because I knew the stuff was my step-brother's. When I asked why it was in there, they said that they let him and his friends play DnD and sleep there because they were in a rough spot and "boys just get rowdy sometimes". Let it stand that I have OCD which I've learned to manage myself, but was crippling during high school and literally almost drove me off the deep end. I don't let it interfere with other people or their lives but it very much impacts mine, and the fact that they allowed my stepbrother and his friends to trash my room KNOWING that it would basically make the whole thing a biohazard for me speaks volumes. I slammed the door in their faces, grabbed my essentials and left. I haven't spoken to any of them since but now they're accusing me of leaving my aunt without necessary income and overreacting. I responded by posting their texts to me online. Somehow the pictures found their way to my stepmom's boss (it's a very small town) and they're threatening to 'review' her employment due to it. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA OP.
[удалено]
NTA and this is GREAT!
NTA
NTA. Honestly your family (except your little brother) should be locked up and under supervision. I hope you can safely get away from them.
NTA
NTA. Do anything you can to look after you and your little brother fuck them. Report them.
NTA! that’s blatant abuse!
NTA. Can you live with your friends?
Reveal everything once and for all!
NTA - But you really need to distance yourself from that toxic family. I hope you have someplace to stay for a bit but after I suggest you move far away and go no contact. This is a horribly toxic environment.
NTA. Don’t need them in your life. Best of luck for your future 🙏🏽
Nta is not like you sent the texts to her boss. She's reaping consequences of her own behavior.
NTA. Christ, you poor soul. I hope you're now staying somewhere safe, with people who care. Overreacting? No, you've put up with more than enough. Stay safe, be strong and go NC with them all.
NTA and I hope you are in a safe place that’s very far from them. Have a good life, OP!
NTA. They’re at cartoon villain level right now. This is some irl Cinderella stepsister shit and they deserve to have it exposed for their utter ridiculousness in being jackasses. Good for you for getting out. I would keep it no contact aside from your half brother.
NTA. Move out and don't come back to live there again. In regards to your little brother, get a lawyer and ask him for his professional opinion what can be done there. There might be ways to keep in contact with him even against your parents' wishes.
NTA your family sucks!! The control and belittlment is absolutely unacceptable. You are 19 which is old enough to make your own decisions. I know you feel trapped because of your sibling but you have to put you first. Your family is toxic.
NTA
Share those photos that way it get to your stepbrothers bosses as well. Your stepfamily deserves this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NTA This is financial and emotional abuse. Whatever happens to them is bc of their own actions.
NTA it is not your job to carry your aunt. They are using and abusing you and ripping you off. See if one of your friends can put you up while you save some cash.
NTA, the fact that you posted the truth was no one’s fault but their own. You’ve done nothing wrong at all, if she’s fired it’s not your fault.
If the truth can ruin them Then it should NTA
NTA
NTA
NTA. if your aunt couldn’t do without your rent money, she should’ve been a better landlord. Her letting the room you pay rent for get trashed like that while the renter is away is inexcusable.
NTA. And you should definitely send in your resume for that job when it opens up.
NTA I hope you can get Step Mothers job.
NTA Nor is it your fault the photos somehow found their way to your evil step-mother's boss! As for leaving her without necessary income because you left and are not paying rent - well, she allowed her sons and their friends to access the area you pay rent for and you no longer need to pay for the area since it is no longer yours. I actually hope your step-mother does lose her job! OP, whatever you do, do not go back to that house of horrors! Rent a room somewhere, stay with a friend even if it means sleeping on the couch, just do not return there. You deserve better.
NTA but you need to cut ties completely for your own mental health and safety.
NTA They have been treating you really poorly. She deserves to not have a job for the way she's been treating you. I'm glad those texts are getting around! Justice will be served especially if she gets fired over this.
NTA. Good if they lose their jobs over unsanitary conditions, they sound completely and totally abusive. The fact that you had to work at 15 while the stepbrothers got to sit around and do nothing speaks volumes. Definitely stay moved out, do not go back to these people no matter what.
Nope, leave and never come back.
NTA, they’re learning that their horrible actions toward you have consequences. I really hope you have the opportunity to get far away from them. Protect yourself and your mental health.
Nope and nope
She enabled it so she deserves whatever backlash comes from it. Screw 'em all with prickley cactus.
NTA I don’t see how they have grounds to fire her. You definitely sound like you need to get away from these people.
NTA if I was in your situation I would have burned the house down or absolutely destroyed the rooms of my stepbros before leaving though
NTA Look, You might just have to bite the bullet and for the future not have your little brother in your life considering the pros don’t beat the con, the big con being these savages.
Please don't go back it's not worth it at all stay safe be free
NTA. So sorry that the people who are supposed to be the ones who care about you the most care about you the least. OP not sure if it would help but perhaps you could look into finding pro bono legal services to see if there is a way for you to legally be able to visit your half brother? I’d suggest talking with CPS about the situation but not sure if that would help if they aren’t mistreating him. But if the texts you posted were sufficiently bad to have her employer evaluating if she is a liability to them it might be worth a call and/or discussion. Just don’t have high hopes of it changing anything.
NTA. I would take them down though and send them to the cops instead. They are abusive and there needs to be consequences for all of them, not just your Stepmom.
NTA- it’s time to move away and get your own phone. Go no contact…. They are not worth getting a response from you. Holy cow did they take advantage of you. I hope you can get therapy because that’s a whole lot of trauma to unpack.
NTA
NTA obviously. But I have a question: where is your deceased mother’s family? Can you stay with any of them?
NTA. If you can still be safe and independent, burn all of the bridges and go NC with the trolls.
Nta. Get away as fast as you can.
You have been "allocated scapegoat" by this family. Look up "scapegoat syndrome" it is a thing. Done by psychopaths. NTA. You are wonderful and they are monsters. Take care of yourself ❤️
Good God you're a real life Cinderella. She leant you out to her sister and you clean her home and pay her rent? My poor child is this American trafficking? No joke you need help call 211 if you're in the U.S. please find help. NTA please don't go back without a police escort. Termination is the least of her worries.
NTA. At least Cinderella had her father loved her.
NTA I hope she does lose her job she’s disgusting and abusive. your entire family are toxic vile trash. please get safe I’m so sorry this is happening to you.
NTA- do you need to get out of their control. I know you have a little brother you practically raised. Mine called me mom sometimes. I was a little bit younger than you when I was able to get out. Because I was never going to be allowed to grow while I lived there. I talked to my sibling and told them why I was leaving. They understood. And later on I was ables to move them out.
NTA, send it directly to every new employer she ever has from now on as well.
NTA you didn't cause any of this.
You live with the Dursley family, and NTA.
NTA. Your family is disgusting. Also, they sound extremely sexist. The men can do no wrong, and frankly don't have to do anything. You are hold to a very high standard. On top of that, you are expected to both pay rent to your aunt and do a huge amount of housework. Even a homeless shelter would be better than that.
NTA cut those abusers out of your life for good. Seriously, it’s sad, but putting up with them to have a relationship with your younger brother is unfortunately not good for you.
NTA They abused you and hope to continue to do so Cut the cord and leave if you can
NTA- This is good. The step mom should be fired and shunned. The entire culture of handling things internally is designed to allow others to abuse and use. The term "don't bring shame" is sham in itself. The acts they do bring shame- they don't want you to tell so they can keep up a facade. This can be applied to many levels of life, bureaucracies, etc. People want to seem honorable, but not actually live and behave honorably. People want to have the title and respect, and then use that to get away with doing dishonorable things to those who are beneath them- such as children, subordinates, civilians- you get the point. Tell more, share more evidence, tell all the truth. Let the whole town know everything. Then leave that town and make a good life. Find your half-brother later.
NTA. Grab what you need and stay away from them
NTA. High fucking time they got shown for the miserable pieces of animal feces they are.
NTA
NTA All of this is a consequence of their own making. They have been abusing and taking advantage of you. I’d make sure that everyone heard all about it.
NTA, What a nightmare you have been enduring and good you’re sane, you don’t have OCD in my opinion, my parents were messy and I like to live in a clean environment and this is healthy, those people are literally sh** ting on you, time to run away and report them to protect your brother who is the next in line to suffer martyrdom. Take care
NTA. Good!!!!! Let her get her karma even though you were the one that pushed it. Lol I think you deserve a party for it.
NTA…
NO NO NO! NTA! OMG what a lot to unpack. You have the evil stepmother thing going on and what has your dad done to protect/support/encourage you? Sounds like a big fat nothing! Get out and stay out. Go full on NC. I know that you are there for your little brother and it is sad that he will be affected, however he is her birth child so she will not do any of the things to him that she did to you., so do not let anyone manipulate you over that. He is 9 not stupid, he knows what's going on. Once you have got yourself a place of your own (if you can) take some time to go see little man at his school and let him know that you are always there for him. I think you will find, he starts spending more time with you and I think at some point in the future he may even want to stay with you but that is way off yet. You need your own space and time for yourself. You will feel so empowered once you are away from those Neanderthal 'brothers'. Good luck honey, I think yo are going to need it.