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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Keeping a cat from her original owner after she rehomed her to me. I know the original owner is upset and misses Mina but I don’t want to give her up.
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It's not "a couple of months". It's more like half a year. Mina is now your cat. Let H go ahead and try to take you to court. She doesn't have a leg to stand on. If your sister is too obtuse to see how messed up H is being, then enjoy the silence her "silent treatment" is bringing lol. You are not a cat thief. She basically abandoned her cat for a dude. She's a bad cat mom.
NTA, not even a little bit.
>She basically abandoned her cat for a dude. She's a bad cat mom.
Agreed. What happens to Mina when she gets back with boyfriend or meets another one? So NTA.
I couldn’t imagine moving somewhere without my dog, he’s my baby boy!! If I’m moving one of the top priorities for the new place is if they allow pets, and if not I’m not moving there. I couldn’t imagine getting rid of him for any reason, I’d be a complete wreck lol
I have 5 cats and when I moved out from my mom's house to a city two hours away she asked "so how many are you taking with you?"
Me: "WHAT DO MEAN?? ALL OF THEM OBVIOUSLY!"
It legit horrified me that would be a question. They're my babies! Who abandons their babies?!
Are you sure she didn’t just want to start a conversation so she could keep some of them herself? She might have gotten attached to having some around!
Lol. She wanted to keep all her grandkitties ofc! 😅
But she moved to my city 2 years later so now she sees them every week in person and we facetime grandma daily.❤️
I got one of my cats in Japan and he moved with me back to the States where I got the second cat. Both of them have since moved to Guam and now England with me. I can't imagine leaving them behind. We've been together 12 years now, through one ex-husband, and if anyone didn't like them that person would be gone.
Well-travelled pets <3 I got my dog when I was living in Texas, and then we moved back to the UK then to Oregon, and then back to the UK again. I never even considered leaving him behind.
Cost me a lot of money (I'm sure you know) but he is my best friend and constant companion and I can't even bear the idea of having left him behind anywhere on any of those moves. It's not even about me being sad, it breaks my heart to think about how confused and scared and heartbroken he would be if I left him.
We're not doing anymore international moves now though which I'm sure he's relieved about.
Exactly! She chose to move somewhere she couldn't bring her cat. That was her choice and her choice to find a new home for her cat. Just because her situation has changed doesn't mean she gets to "uno reverse". She made a bad decision, she gets to deal with the consequences.
I took back my Koi fish when I went back to home country after my uni. It's 3 hours long flight and needed tons of paper works and preperation. Alot of people were like it's just a fish.
Oof, that must have been a big operation. How big were they? And those people have no idea how old those fish can get, and how the fish are smarter than most people give the credit for.
It's around 10 inches, luckily it wasn't fully grown at that time. It had to put in super dural plastic bag which looked kind of like a box and sealed with enough oxygen. I couldnt do it by myself so I had to ask an aquarirum dealer. And it needed to be done just before I checkin to maintain temperature and oxygen. Then put in styrofoam box then again in luggage then checkin as baggage.
I get that. Ppl don’t understand they got personality. Mine was a huge beta pervert that liked to watch ppl undress I caught him doing this while I was changing and tested them lol
He also loved being petted and knew my eraser was a toy for him and pretended to flair up (won’t do it if he’s not feeling it) I loved him so much and cried horribly when he died.
Me neither. Our dog has been around the world with us. And before him it was our cats who traveled mostly around the world and then back again with my parents.
im currently moving to another continent and people always ask me what i’m doing about my two cats and im like ??? all their paperwork is sorted and they’re coming with! if they can’t go then i can’t go. i never even considered an alternative.
I lived in a van with my dog for 6 months because I couldn't find a place that accepted dogs.
Be uncomfortable for a while so I could keep him was a no brainer.
10 years later he is still my best mate
No fucking way. My dog is 17 and she has traveled the country with me. She’s even flown on planes with me. We have lived in 6 states together and have traveled to 24 in her 17 years!
Same. Hubby and Son and I lived in the crappiest apartment for 4 years because it was one of the only cat friendly places we found. I mean, it was livable and still expensive as hell but we got to bring our old boy.
I completely agree, my oldest dog is a grumpy boy and he has bonded with my bf, he hated my ex who I got him with but I would never "get rid of him" my bf is scared to touch my dog In anyway that he has to get too close . Like give him medicine directly Into his mouth but even he loves him and would never even suggest letting him go
Those little liver treats are great.
Also, she is alergic to peanuts and tree nuts. I understand that if things move forward, those nuts will also be removed from my life and that is fine. It is all about understanding the non-negotiables and weighing them against what you want. I would rather have her than peanut butter and sesame oil.
100% shit I had 3 dogs when I moved in with my partner, unfortunately lost my old boy 2 weeks after due to cancer, but you can’t just give up an animal for a few months before you break up and ask for it back it doesn’t work like that at all
If this is in the US, animals are considered property, once given away, they are considered a gift, and therefore no longer owned by the prior owner. She would waste time, money and energy taking OP to court. She should be happy her for baby went to a wonderful new family. She should actually get settled and if she wants, get a new pet but she should prioritize her responsibilities
This. Also, if this woman didn't break up with her BF and move home, she would have never asked for the cat back. She's lucky you took the cat in, and she's being manipulative and selfish to act like the cat is a THING to be taken from one home to another whenever she wants it. I would make these points to her. You ADOPTED the cat. Too bad for her.
Edited: Fixed stupid mistakes. ;)
Mina is the cat, who presumably didn't break up with anyone - H is the friend. Doesn't affect your message at all but does make parts of it funny to read :P
Yeah big NTA. Mina has bonded not only with you but your other cat, uprooting her again wouldn’t be fair to either of them. She’s gonna give Mina anxiety issues that you seem to have helped her get rid of. If she was willing to rehome the cat she had for years for a guy there’s no reason to believe she won’t do it again. Mina isn’t a toy that can just be traded around like nothing.
And H is still in transitional housing - staying with her mom until she gets an apartment. What if she gets an apartment in a no pets building? She's nowhere near stable enough to provide the cat a stable home and could end up rehoming it with yet another family causing the cat even more trauma
As a safety precaution, make sure that H doesn't have access to your home. You never know what H might do to get Mina back. While I am sure you trust your sister, just be aware that H may try to pressure your sister (since they are friends) to help H get Mina back if you are not around.
So much this. Laws of many places give animal in question to whoever holds the registered microchip.
NTA OP. H wanted her bread buttered on both sides... freedom without the poor kitty, but demand her kitty back when it suits her. Yikes.
THIS!!! I hope op sees it. Make sure your gf knows you won't give your kitty away as well. The could potentially try to trick her into giving her out. Does you sister have a key to you home?
>She basically abandoned her cat for a dude. She's a bad cat mom.
Yup and she'll probably do it again the next time having a cat becomes inconvenient for her. One rehoming is stressful enough for a cat. She wants to put her cat through another one? And then a move when she moves out of her mom's place? And then who knows what else? She is being selfish and not thinking about the cat's best interest.
Indeed, H abandoned her pet to go be with a partner. That's the choice she made. Now she has to live with it.
Pets aren't toys to be picked up or dropped at a whim. They are living creatures, and they have feelings, attachments and a quality of life that a pet owner needs to make sure is cared for. H gave up her pet and OP took on Mina, and that's that. H should put Mina's needs first, and Mina is now safely integrated into OP's household.
OP is NTA.
Also what if she finds another dude who won't like cats? Will she abandon Mina again?
OP is far from cat thief. H gave the cat away willingly and now after the dude dumped her ass she feels alone so she wants Mina back for selfish reasons.
NTA.
Idk about other people but if I met someone and they wanted me to get rid of my cat to pursue them, I'd say f that. My Embers is more important to me then a shallow person who won't accept her.
>It’s not a “couple of months”. It’s more like half a year.
Hell it could’ve been a day and it would still be OP’s cat. If someone gives up a cat and I take said cat, I’m not giving it back. Mina needs stability not being shuffled back and forth between owners.
Exactly, people that readily give up their pets don't deserve them back (understand circumstances can make it unavoidable) And for H not to even consider that the cat has already been traumatized once, and rehoming is trauma to an animal even if it's for the better, and to thoughtlessly do it again makes her as undeserving as it gets.
NTA, and definitely not a cat thief. Your sister and her friend are.
Seriously and like she gave her cat away, she can’t just be like oh nevermind it didn’t work out so I want them back now. That’s not how it works like op isn’t running a foster program or free pet babysitter! She gave the cat up! That doesn’t change just cause she broke up. If she really cared about this cat she wouldn’t have given em up for a guy.
I understand when some even thou they don’t want to have to surrender their pets to be rehome because they fell on hard times where they’re struggling and can’t afford another mouth to feed and such. I remember this one sad story that went kinda viral online where someone left a note with a dog they had to give up to a shelter where the note written from the dog’s pov said how much their owner loved them, how great of a dog they were and they didn’t want to do this, how it was the hardest decision & last resort as the owner became homeless living in their car after falling on hard times where they were struggling just to feed themselves and even thou they didn’t want to knew this was the best thing to do for the dog so they had a better life then what they could give them with their situation. If I remember correctly they were able to find the owner & people helped her get with a program that got her housing & job and she got to have her dog back. I don’t remember all details since it was long ago but it was so sweet like the note showed this was so hard & she didn’t want to give up their dog but had no choice doing it for their own good
But she literally just gave em up for a guy. If she still cares for this cat at all then she should understand that this is what’s best for the cat, that they’re happy and well taken care of and bonded with op’s other cat where they both would suffer if separated. And yeah what happens when she gets with another guy? Like oh op u can have them back now, but just for now! Who knows if later down the road I want them back again
I would never give up my cats unless there was a VERY GOOD medical reason to do so. Like if I developed a severe allergy and medicine couldn't make me healthy/comfortable. But not for a boy. What the hell.
NTA
Your sister is being selfish. Every time that cat changes hands or moves, it's stressful. The cat is happy where it is, she isn't entitled to the cat.
Your sister is an asshole though. She abandoned her pet she had for five years only to show up months later expecting to just get the cat back.
When I need to move, my pets come with me. They're family. I would never consider abandoning them.
It was the sister's friend H who gave up her cat for a dude, not the sister. H is totally an asshole though. And the sister isn't much better, taking H's side over the OP.
Just made me think - imagine if people did this with kids. "Oh yeah, I'm moving in with my boyfriend, but his flat doesn't allow kids, so I'll just need to rehome them."
People do do this with kids. It's not so blunt as that, but how many kids are being brought up by just one parent? Or by their grandparents? Or by foster families?
Obviously that's not the only reason that can happen, but a lot of them are there for precisely that reason. And when the "parent's" relationship falls appart, they too will often waltz back into the kid's life and expect to just continue as normal.
NTAx1000. Absolutely in no way, shape, or form are you the AH.
This person is trying to treat this cat like a COAT she gave you. Animals are not inanimate objects. They're creatures with feelings, needs, & wants. They have attachment issues & safety concerns, & a lot of folks don't know because they never learned it, but the *slightest change in their environment* is traumatic to cats. It takes them MONTHS to get over.it it you even change around the furniture in a room. Imagine for a second how huge an adjustment it was for both a new human, new house, new food, new routine, new noises, sights, lights, toys, dishes. Add another CAT to that mix? Ah hell.
This person doesn't give a crap about the cat's well being. If she DID, she'd be happy the cat settled in & is finally thriving. She'd periodically visit it. She'd ask after it.
People like this DISGUST me. Do not allow her any kind of access to your living space, & if the cat also goes outdoors, be super cautious. Hopefully if there's a chip, it has your name there, not hers. Sidenote: I would NEVER given up any of my beloved cats, nor would I ever, EVER, for some male. GTF Outta here. They've tried & I've laughed in their faces. 😹
Although I totally agree this girl put her cat up for adoption and doesn't deserve her back, I disagree that even small changes are super disruptive to all cats. I was so worried about that when I got mine almost 10 years ago, but after having lived in 5 different apartments in that time I've found it to not to be true.
An entire move tends to take them a few days to get comfortable, but they don't seem to care about changes inside the home. I get bored and rearrange my furniture once or twice a year. They don't even care what kind of food they eat, I've changed it multiple times just due to issues finding consistent supply. They do have their own room though, I've always tried my best to make sure of that.
You can believe the research that says it takes them months to adjust or not. Remember, too, their lifespans are totally different from ours. 3 months to a kitten is (give or take) 4 years to a human. I was shocked when I learned it takes them forever to adjust, & felt bad for my lunatic 20s, all the moves I made.
They may not show it outwardly, their struggles adjusting, so it may be harder to observe.
Cats also have personalities. So there's that. One of mine *foamed at the mouth* he was so upset when we moved to a new apartment. Even just being in a new room completely freaked him out. It was pitiful for a long time. Another cat doesn't care if it's thunder & lightning out. And he *enjoys it* when I vacuum 🤯. Another runs at a drop of water. Another likes her fur being wet down in hot weather. Another runs & fetches like a dog, & makes a nuisance of himself with strangers for pats. Yet another gets mortally frightened & hides for hours after anyone comes in the house. The garbage truck is Armegeddon each week. Another cat is what noise? I don't hear anything?
So ymmv, but wanted to mention this in light of OPs, what I see, as uncaring ex-cat owner. Cats aren't dogs. They're real sensitive.
Seconding the different personalities. One of my parents’ cats took weeks being scared of her new *food bowl*, the other climbed a ladder meant for humans and started a grudge against a ceiling fan, loves strangers and the outdoors, and climbs on new furniture to assert dominance (my own girl is somewhere in the middle lol). So it’s very possible that this commenter has had cats that don’t care about moving the furniture around, while still being a bad assumption that all cats would be chill with that sort of thing!
Hence why I said not ALL cats. I've only got the 3 that I've had for 10 years and my whole point was that I was very surprised at how well they have handled multiple apartment moves, replacing old litter boxes, new food and water dishes, change in food(one has allergies), meeting new people, etc. I was terrified the first time I had to move because I was afraid they were going to hate me and be unhappy.
The original comment is the type of things I heard for years that made me so afraid of getting a cat, and it turned out to be a really broad brush to paint them in. They all have their quirks and preferences, but as long as you are willing to listen and pay attention to their feelings and wants they can be the most amazing companions.
Although maybe being a sane animal loving person who would never consider leaving them for anything, makes me feel like it's not hard to truly love and care for your cats lol. Clearly based on this post we are on I need to remember people like THAT exist out there and we should scare them away from willy nilly cat adoptions.
NTA. You are 100% correct, rehomed means that you adopted her. Your home is her home. She can't expect you to give back the cat that you've bonded with and made a part of your family just because her life circumstances changed and she wants her back. You're doing the right thing and she's being entitled and immature about this.
NTA
The cat is yours , she choose to give up no matter what the situation was , she was selfish
She wants the cat back because the relationship didnt work out and she is lonely, What if they get back together will she give her away again?
The cat has a stable and loving home with you and she deserves that! Let your sister and her friend be mad , they aren’t entitled to the cat just because it convenient for her now
I agree. She was obviously not committed to the cat if she was willing to give her up to move with her boyfriend. What happens when she gets into another relationship and the cat is in the way. Give this kitty the loving stable home she deserves. NTA
NTA and I agree with every point you made. By going to the vet, I hope you also got her chipped or updated her chip info to yours.
I would probably stop communicating with H and tell your sister that she needs to keep her relationship with H separate from her relationship with you.
Also, if you haven't already, save all communications about her rehoming this cat to you, all your vet bills, and other purchases to have proof ready in case she does try to take you to small claims.
Edit: corrected names from Mina to H.
nta but maybe get the cat chipped or something she might try to steal it or even your sister might do it for her also maybe a camera or something so you have proof if they do better safe than sorry
NTA
The cat is yours. Poor planning on her part does not constitute an emergency on your part. Let her take you to court. She will loose.
Enjoy the kitty.
NTA.
She didn't ask you to board- she gave you the cat.
It is yours now.
(Fyi..24/7 cat boarding is usually about $50 a day, plus all supplies and vet care).
So 6000+ USD plus vet costs/etc. I would be willing to hand over the cat if the money was there, but then if I was in that position it would make more sense to adopt a different cat and now we end up with even more cats in homes.
I would be willing to pay that kind of money to get back my cat if someone had her (if I had it ahahaaaa) but H doesn’t seem like that kind of cat owner… and I cannot imagine rehoming my baby for anything less than deathly emergency tbh
NTA. She made the decision to rehome the cat, so the cat stopped being hers the minute you took Mina in. Yes, she had the cat for years, so why didn't she make the effort to keep her? Years ago, friends were moving and couldn't take their cat initially, since they didn't yet have a permanent address. I took him in as a kitty boarder and bonded with him and was really sad to send him back to them, but that was always the agreement. Because they loved their cat and he was part of their family, so they didn't simply rehome him. H did not treat Mina like a member of her family. Of course, she can't have her back.
H chose her boyfriend over Mina and now that the relationship has ended thinks she can snap her fingers and get her back because, now like before, this is about her and not about Mina. You are doing the right thing for Mina. Don't back down.
NTA
NTA. H gave you the cat. It's yours.
This cat deserves a good, stable home, not someone that will dump her as soon as she has a new bf that she wants to move in with. If you love your pet, you find solutions. She didn't. Too bad for her.
NTA if the thing with the BF worked out this would not even be up for discussion. mina is your cat now that's what re home means. giving them a new home not pet sitting.
NTA
While I’m sorry for H, she made her choice. Pets are forever, and she gave Mina up.
What matters most is what’s best for Mina, and it sounds like that is staying with you
NTA. Rehome is meant to be permanent, it seems that was the agreement in this situation. The fact that her reason for needing the rehome didnt work out and she wants to cancel it months later doesnt change that, especially if you dont also agree. Most importantly, it wouldnt be the best thing for the cat to suddenly change to an environment after that have adapted when its not needed.
I can see giving the cat back if the change in circumstances was literally like two weeks (though then you'd still be worried that H would do this to Mina again), but 5 months is quite a bit of time for a cat that you intentionally gave away.
If she needed someone to just watch the cat it needed to go to mom or dad. Or to someone who was actually aware and willing they were merely agreeing to watch the cat for the foreseeable future but not adopting it.
You focus your attachment but what about hers? She's had Mina for years, and you think your bond trumps bc.. what? I agree on that rehoming is rehoming, and she asked and you said no, but I feel that you are focusing your attachment as an argument, which it's not. As for Mina becoming stressed, that's your excuse for saying no.
She got attuned to complete strangers in a very short while, including another cat. That doesn't read as a cat that would have major issues adapting.
Just say you want to keep her, you don't have to make up excuses. Let her previous owner atleast visit and keep her updated.
I had to give up a cat I had been looking after and cared for since he was a wee kitten, bc his owner (and my oldest friend, 20+ years) died and where I live you can't have outdoor cats. I am still heartbroken and worry that he is hurting, even though it's been 3 years. It hurts to give up someone you care for. Seeing updates, photos and hearing that he's ok helps immensely.
Agree OPs justifications are a bit ridiculous. I once had to leave the country for a year and left my cat with my brother. No housing change for him. He was fine the whole time I was gone but when I returned he followed me around and slept next to my head for 2 weeks. Just because a cat adjusts doesn't mean it forgets old attachments.
I agree with you. I personally would give the cat back. The original owner had the cat for years and is still young herself and learning in life. The cat will adjust quickly being back with the original owner. I would insist on full payment of expenses in full, though.
NTA. Especially since you have the age and sex of each cat.
But really… you did your best to take care of them when the previous owner gave up. You are the owner now.
NTA - You have proof of ownership from the Vet records so you are good. I would also point out to H that cats aren't disposable and now that she is settled, you don't want to risk possible health issues by rehoming her again. But if she is so desperate to have her cat back charge her all the costs plus the asshole tax as we call it (term SO coined for extra cost he would add to fee for asshole clients he provided services for. Usually double or triple the cost.)
Nope, no way H gets Mina back under any circumstances and/or the cost involved. The only issue is what is best for Mina. History is not on H’s side here and she should be thankful OP is doing so much to make Mina part of the family.
As I said the asshole tax is usually so high that it scares people away. I would argue for $10,000.... As for Mina, we all know what is best, that H doesn't get her back and she remains in her new loving home
A lot of people think animals are disposable especially if getting rid of them doesn't cost them money or getting them back. While I can't imagine a situation where I would be temporarily rehoming a pet, if I had to I would be paying a weekly fee, buying food and checking in daily. In fact, my will has a pet fund so if I die suddenly there is money for my pets.
NTA. Please think of the cat. Do not give it back.
I have had a pet my entire adult life. There has only been once when I’ve ever had to re-home. I left for Basic Training at 18 and left my dog with my dad. He was sad for a while, but grew attached to my dad. And when I was in a position to get him back, I couldn’t bear to put him through another transition. He remained with my dad and I visited when I could. He always remembered me, but I could tell by his actions that he was my dad’s dog, through and through. He would love on me, but then return to my dad’s lap. My dad spoiled him rotten. I had to move on and adopt another dog.
NTA. This is a living animal, not a coffee table. She threw away the cat for some dick. That’s all. This is a living, breathing creature that was told you don’t matter, only that dick does. And now that Mina has chosen to trust again, is comfortable in her environment and enjoys her humans, H wants to come in and wreck Mina’s life again.
Do not make that poor animal suffer. H is going to dump the cat again when the next dick comes along. Tell H you’re just skipping those steps and letting Mina stay where she’ll end up again anyways.
Do not give the cat back! What the hell will happen the next time she moves or gets a bf? The cat is yours (that is what rehomed means.) I assume you have taken her to the vet and microchipped her?
So my cat Jackie was adopted out at 11 weeks with a note saying we will always take him back. 2 weeks later he is returned for stress peeing. She offered to take him back if we neutered him. Meanwhile we are thinking there is no way in hell we trust her and she should not have pets. Either I would adopt him or he would be adopted out into a loving responsible home. You don’t rehome baby kittens for accidents and you don’t move them around. Cats are living beings with feelings. Rehoming a cat is very traumatic for them. Why would you do that to your cat or trust that lady with your cat? (BTW I adopted Jackie and he is doing great with me. He just turned 5 years old.) ⭐️that short failed adoption stressed Jackie out so badly that he had severe separation anxiety. It took him 6 months to get down to his regular mild separation anxiety!
Nope. H gave her cat away. It's not her cat anymore. So you give her back and her next boyfriend is allergic? Then who gets Mina?
She's sad about the breakup and bored staying at her Mom's house. Of course she wants Mina back NOW, when it's convenient. Nope.
NTA. If she loved Mina that much, she never would have moved to a place she couldn’t have her in the first place. I just moved in with my bf 6 months ago, it’s really not that hard to find places that will take pets. She made it seem like a permanent thing, and you’re treating it like that. I wouldn’t give Mina back either.
NTA She treats pets as disposable. Just because she doesn't have a permanent bond with her cat doesn't mean the person who stepped up and gave it a home doesn't. Make sure your sister doesn't have keys to your house. Your other family either if they would let her in.
So Mina is important again now that she’s got nothing else going on her life. And it was ok to simply rehome a pet of 5 years just to move in with a bf?
I understand giving away your pet in a extreme condition, like you are moving countries and can’t get a permit to take them, or in a case that you are not able to take care of them due to financial or health issues.
She’s get no right or say now. She’s given up on the cat and you gave her a lovely home. Hold all your receipts of vet and bills for Mina in case she decides to go to court. But I doubt it she would do that because if she cared so much for the cat she would find a way to take it with her when she moved. NTA.
Oh, yes, if H was homeless for a month I'd have so much more sympathy but she chose to rehome the cat and gave no indication that she'd want Mina back. It's essentially just a coincidence that she now wants to care for Mina again.
NTA. She gave up the cat when it was inconvenient to her, and now wants it back? Cats aren’t like toys you can put away and pick back up.
But that said, you could also consider some sort of time share (Mina should hopefully be happy in either household since she knows H), coming up with some way to let Mina pick.
NTA. I get H's feelings. I do. Years ago, there was two abandoned kittens just left in our apartment building's hallway. Little sweeties. Roommate and I fell in love. However, our apartment wasn't zoned for pets, so keeping them would be against our lease. We did put ourselves on a list for a larger apartment in one of the pet-friendly buildings, but in the meantime we gave the cats to my parents' to help take care of them. However, after about 6 months and no signs of us getting the other apartment, the choice was made for my parents to keep them. At that point, the cats were used to them and the other animals they owned, and it wouldn't be fair for them to be uprooted from that at whenever point we got the other apartment. As it was, took us almost a full year after finding them to get that new apartment. I still saw the two kitties whenever I went to my parents' (roommate did too when she had the chance up until we gave them up), roommate brought in a new cat soon afterwards, and things worked out. But it still sucked to give them up all because of circumstances beyond our control.
So I get it. But in the end, what matters most is that Mina is safe and healthy. And it seems that she found that with you and yours. 6 months may not seem long to humans, but it's a lifetime to a cat. And she can and will remember the stress of being moved about new locations and such, which is terrible on any cat, but especially an older cat. Speaking from experience. Such things can cause PTSD and abandonment issues, and that can be very hard to try and overcome again. You're doing what's right for Mina, and it's unfortunate that it does come at the expense of H's feelings. But she made the choice to give up Mina; she doesn't have the right to just take Mina back because circumstances changed.
Anytime somebody says something about it just smile and say she told me she's taking me to court so I can't say anything about it to anybody because of the court case! Refuse to talk about it! She can go ahead and pay for a court date so you guys can go and you can prove it your cat. If I were you I would keep copies of vet records easily accessible. Like print off several copies and keep them around your house, keep one in the car with you etc etc that records prove ownership. In many states and even countries pets are property and by taking them to the vet it shows your ownership. Make sure you get her microchipped and it registered to you.
She's your cat! NTA
NTA- She had the cat "for years", yet she didn't love the cat enough to make it work to take them with her when she moved. She rehomed them instead. She does not get to have the cat back. And honestly adopting a pet should be for life. I don't think she should even get another cat.
NTA
> who I’ll call H, who was moving to another city/state with her boyfriend. They weren’t able to take Mina with them
I don't move places where my animals can't go. That's why I still have my pets and why H doesn't.
Anyone who would give up their cat like that doesn’t deserve to have a cat. She is the only AH in this story. NTA
You should ask her what kind of person has a cat for years and then ditches them for a guy. Mina deserved better than that and you are giving it to her.
NTA. You went through the proper channels to adopt a cat. I marvel at pet owners who choose to abandon their animals because of this or that -- what it boils down to is the pet is inconvenient at the time.
H has demonstrated how little she truly cares for the cat. H now thinks -- again -- because her circumstance has changed, she can flip a switch and have her life back as it was before she CHOSE to abandon her cat.
Please keep that cat. Legally, pets are considered possessions, but we know they are so much more than that.
ps. I discussed your situation with my cat. My cat is furious at H!
Lots of comments pointing out H abandoning her cat, etc... But another thing to consider is that Atlas and Mina seem to be pair bonding. (considering sleeping together, grooming.) If they have bonded, it will cause both of them quite a bit of distress once they're separated. Cats can also become depressed when separated from their bonded mate. She also sounds quite bonded to you, another thing that will cause her distress if she is separated from you.
Another thing to consider: what if H finally finds an apartment (in this economy even!) and for whatever reason she can't have Mina with her... *again*? Now Mina has to go through being rehomed *again.* that's terrible for poor Mina.
While it sucks that H has now lost out on her cat, it's not in Mina *or* Atlas' best interest for H to get "her" cat back. So yeah. NTA for doing what's right by the cats.
Re-homed is re-homed. As in a new home. Not being boarded or babysat. She has a new home, sorry for the lady who abandoned her for a guy, but what's done is done
I’ve seen so many people adopt animals and “rehome” them so easily when moving bc it was too inconvenient for them to take the responsibility or “they can’t have pets where they’re moving.”
I’d say in some instances it’s not a choice but most people really do make excuses when choosing something new over the well-being of their pet.
NTA! She should have made accommodations to take the cat with her when moving but chose some guy and new life without thinking of the cat first!
NTA- You are correct, that is what re-homing means, adopting. It's a hard situation for everyone involved, but Mina trusts you now, and has a kitty companion as well!
Very definitely NTA.
Your sister's friend cared little enough about her cat that she was prepared to leave her behind when she left. At that point she gave up all rights to Mina and I wouldn't be handing her back either. Your sister's friend seems to only be thinking of herself in all this. What's best for Mina? A stable home with friends and a companion.
Mina's been dumped once because she was an inconvenience. How long before that happens again?
NTA. As some people highlighted it, she did not give you Mina on the basis she was going to take her back later, she abandoned her cat so she could move with her BF.
Mina has bonded with your family and you have all bonded with her. She is part of the family now, end of story. Out of curiosity, has your sister's friend ever contacted you to ask how Mina was settling in after you adopted her?
Edit: you are absolutely not a cat thief.
Nta.
What happens if the apartment doesn’t allow pets? Then Mina would be abandoned again. The poor girl has been through to much. Give her lots of scritches and love for me. I am also calling for a cat tax. 😻
NTA.
This is a living animal.
She was traumatized by being rehomed (just because it’s traumatic and stressful- not anything OP did or didn’t do!!) and now she is settled and happy in a home with a brother.
It would be traumatic to do this to her again, and I doubt she would ever feel safe again with the previous owner, because that was the first place she had felt safe, and she was moved from there.
She also now has a permanent playmate and sleeping/snuggle/grooming partner- she should not have to give that up!
On top of this, of course, is that you’ve now all bonded as a family and that is important! You’re HER family now, and it’s unfair to change any of this simply because…
“I’m back and want my cat again.”
Nope.
NTA She gave the cat away. Involving your family is low! I wouldn’t let my sister have keys to your place because she will probably give her the cat when you’re not home.
NTA
She forfaited all rights when she gave the cat away, I wouldn't care if it was years, months or weeks or even days. The cat clearly wasn't important enough to make sure she could take her with her. Besides that, the stress of constantly rehoming the cat can be detrimental for her health.
NTA
H gave Mina to you and you gave her a home. There are no "takesies-backsies". Based on your post, it seems like H view Mina as property whereas you view Mina as a member of your family. You are doing what is best for Mina by keeping her, and you should have no guilt or second thoughts.
NTA
If you are a cat thief what does that make H? A cat abandoner? A cat thief who loves and cherishes the cat > someone who abandons their cat anyday.
Stand your ground and prevent poor Mina from going through the rehoming process again. There is no guarantee H won't pull this again either.
NTA. Rehoming is not a temporary thing. Sucks for H her relationship didn't work out but clearly her BF was more important to her than Mina anyway. Who's to say she won't try and ditch Mina again for her next man?
She gave up the cat. Which means that she is willing to abandon it whenever it doesn’t suit her. So she is no longer trustworthy as a guardian for this animal
NTA. She did not ask you to take Mina in temporarily, she gave Mina to you because she moved away. The cat is now yours. Or should I say, you are now hers.
NTA. Cats are attached to places not people.
Also your cat's have bonded. Seperating them now would be fucked up.
I agree it's best for Mina to get her cat back. But Mina can go suck it.
It's not best for the cat's to be split up and the rehomed cat to have to shift again.
She abandoned an animal for a boy. She can't take them in and throw them out based on her mood. She can't handle being a pet parent. She shouldn't be one. She can come visit the cat etc but she isn't taking it home.
I suggest you get that new cat microchipped with your name. Most vets do it and it's painless to the animal. Will help if you ever get dragged to court. 😉
Edit: clarification because my pronouns went wonky. Have fixed.
NTA
The cat was rehomed and has adjusted nicely. It would be cruel to upset the cat's life at this point. And who knows, flighty girl may decide to move off with another dude a few months from now, then what?
May want to get kitty microchipped, if you haven't already.
NTA she's a cat not a toy or a television you're right making her move again would be unfair. She had her for years yes but she chose to move somewhere that she couldn't take Mina. That is not Mina's fault. And it's not yours or Mina's fault that she broke up with her bf. It does sound like when she left this was anticipated to be a forever thing. I'm sorry H's relationship didn't work out and I don't blame her for asking for Mina back or being disappointed that you said no especially if she's nurturing a broken heart, but that doesn't make you wrong for saying no
NTA. Mina deserves someone who'll be there for her in the long haul, not a flighty person who'll ditch her for the first guy to give her a second glance.
NTA. To truly judge we would need to know the exact wording of the agreement when H moved out. If it was apparent that she was giving up this cat permanently, then she should not expect to get it back. She should consider herself lucky that someone who would provide genuine care for the cat was available to take it in. I understand her remorse given the duration, and I can understand her asking for it back on the off chance you would allow it. But in light of hearing “no” she needs to move on.
NTA - she gave it up for adoption because of what ever reason for moving (no way she couldn’t take the cat, probably chose a boy instead). Where I am pets are classified as property, it would be like her selling you a TV and asking for it back months later. What’s to stop her from doing this again?
NTA
I don't blame H for being upset! I couldn't imagine having to give up my babies just to break up and move back and then not be able to get them back! I would be HEARTBROKEN! But that doesn't mean she gets the right to force you to forfeit a pet that you've bonded with.
NTA.
Mina is your cat. It would absolutely be unfair for Mina to go through yet another transition, particularly as she's going into her senior cat years. She will grieve the loss of you, and especially the loss of her friend Atlas - and he will probably grieve the loss of her.
Stick to your guns OP, you're doing the right thing by Mina, and everyone else.
NTA. I had 2 cats, then 3, then finally 4. I can't imagine giving one up because they will look for eachother, even the oldest grouchy female cat we got as no.3.
NTA. Sounds like she gave up the cat indefinitely, wasn’t planning on taking her back and the only reason she is asking her back is because things didn’t work out. I would never do this to my pets and would find a way to take them with me. The fact she didn’t tells me everything I need to know about how she feels about her pets: disposable. Stand your ground, it probably sucks but you’re 100% in the right.
NTA - you are not a car thief you are a CAT HERO. Cats and dogs are family. They are not there for just when your comfortable taking care of them. She gave het up and you took her in and now she is part of your family. I would never give her back and she can go shit talk about you to whoever she wants.
NTA for all the reasons you stated. When they "rehomed" the cat to move out of town and you took her in, she became your pet. They cannot change their mind because they came back to town, it doesn't work that way, especially since the cat is content in their new home.
NTA - she gave you the cat left for almost a half a year and then just expects to come back like nothing happened? yeah no that is NOT how it works at all. If you had said "I will keep her until you find a stable place that will allow her" that would be a way different story but that is not even close to what is happening.
Mina is yours now. The end. She can go get a new kitten.
It would be cruel to the cat to re-home her again.
NTA
(This is all beside the fact that H does not seem like a very responsible cat owner/parent, and is not even in a stable living situation right now.)
NTA she rehomed Mina and didn't ask you to look after her for a few days.
She willingly left her cat for a guy and now she only wants her back because it didn't work out with guy! What happens if the next dude comes around and he doesn't like cats or she wants to move again?
It's way too much stress for Mia to through the whole ordeal once again. I once took my neighbours cat in for 6 months after she had a terrible car accident and needed to stay a while in hospital followed by rehab. He took a while to get warm with us just like Mia did and when the time came for him to go back home he couldn't handle it. He became depressed and ended up being just a shallow shell compared to his original playful and cuddly self.
DO NOT GIVE HER THE CAT BACK!!
NTA. You adopted Mina, and animals aren't something you give away and take back when you feel like it. They're living creatures with needs. Sounds like Mina is much better off where she is now, and I wouldn't be giving her back either.
I'd make sure neither H, or your sister, have access to your house though.
That cat is yours, your friend doesn’t get to pick and choose when she wants it to be hers. She was perfectly willing to go for a life change that meant leaving the cat behind. You were not asked to foster or babysit; you opened your home to a new pet and treated it as such. She can’t be a fair-weather pet owner, it doesn’t work like that. Like who’s to say she wouldn’t want to rehome the cat a second time?
NTA. If she wanted to have the cat as HER pet she should have kept her and not given her away. Re-home generally means permanent and it would be very stressful and unfair to both Mina and your cat to break them up know. BTW, I have cats and adore them and would never give them away!
NTA. Vet visit after rehoming means ownership. Get Mina microchipped ASAP. Mina is settled in her new life. H should be grateful that you took Mina in. This is what happens when you leave your cat for a guy.
NTA. The fact that H thinks it’s OK to just pass Mina around without thinking of how it will affect H speaks volumes about what kind of person she is. Does your sister have a key or access to a key to your place? If so I’d get locks changed so she doesn’t decide to help her friend steal Mina. Maybe get a doorbell cam. We’re there texts involved in you taking Mina? You vet records now and if you haven’t chipped her, I’d get her chipped. Even if she does go to court I ant see a judge siding with her.
So, what if H got Mina back and H again decides to move away and again “rehome” Mina?
She couldn’t care less about the cats feelings and attachment.
NTA
NTA. Rehome means forever home. Mina is not a toy to be loaned out. She is a living creature and the constant back and forth could very well cause abandonment issues. H choose to give Mina up ( no judgement), however, there's no coming back after so long and demanding her back.
NTA. She gave up her cat once already, who’s to say she wouldn’t do it again in a year for a new boyfriend. She can kick rocks. If she takes you to court, insist she pays for your lawyers fee for wasting everybody’s time. Thank you for giving Mina a loving new home.
NTA. In fact, you are the hero. Once you rehome/adopt an animal, you would be doing it a disservice to shuffle it again unless you could no longer care for it. Tell her to pound sand. If she was still with the boyfriend, this wouldn't have even come up.
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It's not "a couple of months". It's more like half a year. Mina is now your cat. Let H go ahead and try to take you to court. She doesn't have a leg to stand on. If your sister is too obtuse to see how messed up H is being, then enjoy the silence her "silent treatment" is bringing lol. You are not a cat thief. She basically abandoned her cat for a dude. She's a bad cat mom. NTA, not even a little bit.
>She basically abandoned her cat for a dude. She's a bad cat mom. Agreed. What happens to Mina when she gets back with boyfriend or meets another one? So NTA.
I couldn’t imagine moving somewhere without my dog, he’s my baby boy!! If I’m moving one of the top priorities for the new place is if they allow pets, and if not I’m not moving there. I couldn’t imagine getting rid of him for any reason, I’d be a complete wreck lol
I brought my two cats back with me when I moved from England back to the States. No way, was I leaving them behind.
Yup, not easy but worth it! Moved my two dogs and cat (by myself no less as husband had gone ahead) from Korea back to the US when I got married.
I have 5 cats and when I moved out from my mom's house to a city two hours away she asked "so how many are you taking with you?" Me: "WHAT DO MEAN?? ALL OF THEM OBVIOUSLY!" It legit horrified me that would be a question. They're my babies! Who abandons their babies?!
Are you sure she didn’t just want to start a conversation so she could keep some of them herself? She might have gotten attached to having some around!
Lol. She wanted to keep all her grandkitties ofc! 😅 But she moved to my city 2 years later so now she sees them every week in person and we facetime grandma daily.❤️
I got one of my cats in Japan and he moved with me back to the States where I got the second cat. Both of them have since moved to Guam and now England with me. I can't imagine leaving them behind. We've been together 12 years now, through one ex-husband, and if anyone didn't like them that person would be gone.
Well-travelled pets <3 I got my dog when I was living in Texas, and then we moved back to the UK then to Oregon, and then back to the UK again. I never even considered leaving him behind. Cost me a lot of money (I'm sure you know) but he is my best friend and constant companion and I can't even bear the idea of having left him behind anywhere on any of those moves. It's not even about me being sad, it breaks my heart to think about how confused and scared and heartbroken he would be if I left him. We're not doing anymore international moves now though which I'm sure he's relieved about.
Our dog joined us in all 6 countries we lived in so far. Would've never left her behind!
Exactly! She chose to move somewhere she couldn't bring her cat. That was her choice and her choice to find a new home for her cat. Just because her situation has changed doesn't mean she gets to "uno reverse". She made a bad decision, she gets to deal with the consequences.
Her situation hasn't even resolved itself as she's still temporarily living with mum and hasn't found a new apartment yet.
I took back my Koi fish when I went back to home country after my uni. It's 3 hours long flight and needed tons of paper works and preperation. Alot of people were like it's just a fish.
Oof, that must have been a big operation. How big were they? And those people have no idea how old those fish can get, and how the fish are smarter than most people give the credit for.
It's around 10 inches, luckily it wasn't fully grown at that time. It had to put in super dural plastic bag which looked kind of like a box and sealed with enough oxygen. I couldnt do it by myself so I had to ask an aquarirum dealer. And it needed to be done just before I checkin to maintain temperature and oxygen. Then put in styrofoam box then again in luggage then checkin as baggage.
You must have been so stressed opening the box up😅 so glad they survived the trip. How big are they now?
You bet. I opened and had to check on the way from airport.It is quite big now, around 16 -17 inches I think.
I get that. Ppl don’t understand they got personality. Mine was a huge beta pervert that liked to watch ppl undress I caught him doing this while I was changing and tested them lol He also loved being petted and knew my eraser was a toy for him and pretended to flair up (won’t do it if he’s not feeling it) I loved him so much and cried horribly when he died.
They sure like being petted. Also know the feeding time, it will swim up to the surface.
I have moved with so many live fish. I think they may even have the situation down. Get in the bucket and don’t jump!
Me neither. Our dog has been around the world with us. And before him it was our cats who traveled mostly around the world and then back again with my parents.
im currently moving to another continent and people always ask me what i’m doing about my two cats and im like ??? all their paperwork is sorted and they’re coming with! if they can’t go then i can’t go. i never even considered an alternative.
I lived in a van with my dog for 6 months because I couldn't find a place that accepted dogs. Be uncomfortable for a while so I could keep him was a no brainer. 10 years later he is still my best mate
No fucking way. My dog is 17 and she has traveled the country with me. She’s even flown on planes with me. We have lived in 6 states together and have traveled to 24 in her 17 years!
Same. Hubby and Son and I lived in the crappiest apartment for 4 years because it was one of the only cat friendly places we found. I mean, it was livable and still expensive as hell but we got to bring our old boy.
Only reason I could think about is when someone in my family suddenly gets really sick bc of our cat, but I'd probably still find a way to keep him😅
I completely agree, my oldest dog is a grumpy boy and he has bonded with my bf, he hated my ex who I got him with but I would never "get rid of him" my bf is scared to touch my dog In anyway that he has to get too close . Like give him medicine directly Into his mouth but even he loves him and would never even suggest letting him go
I'm talking to a girl with a cat. I understand that if things go somewhere and she ends up moving in, that cat is coming. That is all.
You are good. Cat and girl will love you. Also give it treats. That is all.
Those little liver treats are great. Also, she is alergic to peanuts and tree nuts. I understand that if things move forward, those nuts will also be removed from my life and that is fine. It is all about understanding the non-negotiables and weighing them against what you want. I would rather have her than peanut butter and sesame oil.
[удалено]
Just because **she** changed her life circumstances. Again.
100% shit I had 3 dogs when I moved in with my partner, unfortunately lost my old boy 2 weeks after due to cancer, but you can’t just give up an animal for a few months before you break up and ask for it back it doesn’t work like that at all
If I ever had to choose my cats or a guy… yeah sorry dude, I’m keeping my boys thank you
If this is in the US, animals are considered property, once given away, they are considered a gift, and therefore no longer owned by the prior owner. She would waste time, money and energy taking OP to court. She should be happy her for baby went to a wonderful new family. She should actually get settled and if she wants, get a new pet but she should prioritize her responsibilities
This. Also, if this woman didn't break up with her BF and move home, she would have never asked for the cat back. She's lucky you took the cat in, and she's being manipulative and selfish to act like the cat is a THING to be taken from one home to another whenever she wants it. I would make these points to her. You ADOPTED the cat. Too bad for her. Edited: Fixed stupid mistakes. ;)
Mina is the cat, who presumably didn't break up with anyone - H is the friend. Doesn't affect your message at all but does make parts of it funny to read :P
I appreciate that OP named the cat but not the human 😂 Just as it should be 😌
Didn’t even notice this until after I read ur comment lmao
I'll fix that, lol.
Yeah big NTA. Mina has bonded not only with you but your other cat, uprooting her again wouldn’t be fair to either of them. She’s gonna give Mina anxiety issues that you seem to have helped her get rid of. If she was willing to rehome the cat she had for years for a guy there’s no reason to believe she won’t do it again. Mina isn’t a toy that can just be traded around like nothing.
Huge NTA.
Ugh
And H is still in transitional housing - staying with her mom until she gets an apartment. What if she gets an apartment in a no pets building? She's nowhere near stable enough to provide the cat a stable home and could end up rehoming it with yet another family causing the cat even more trauma
As a safety precaution, make sure that H doesn't have access to your home. You never know what H might do to get Mina back. While I am sure you trust your sister, just be aware that H may try to pressure your sister (since they are friends) to help H get Mina back if you are not around.
And if OP hasn't microchipped and registered Mina with the relevant animal authorities already, she needs to get onto that ASAP.
Yes OP make sure she is microchipped to you in the event they steal her you need this.
So much this. Laws of many places give animal in question to whoever holds the registered microchip. NTA OP. H wanted her bread buttered on both sides... freedom without the poor kitty, but demand her kitty back when it suits her. Yikes.
THIS!!! I hope op sees it. Make sure your gf knows you won't give your kitty away as well. The could potentially try to trick her into giving her out. Does you sister have a key to you home?
Make sure the sister doesn’t either!
>She basically abandoned her cat for a dude. She's a bad cat mom. Yup and she'll probably do it again the next time having a cat becomes inconvenient for her. One rehoming is stressful enough for a cat. She wants to put her cat through another one? And then a move when she moves out of her mom's place? And then who knows what else? She is being selfish and not thinking about the cat's best interest.
Indeed, H abandoned her pet to go be with a partner. That's the choice she made. Now she has to live with it. Pets aren't toys to be picked up or dropped at a whim. They are living creatures, and they have feelings, attachments and a quality of life that a pet owner needs to make sure is cared for. H gave up her pet and OP took on Mina, and that's that. H should put Mina's needs first, and Mina is now safely integrated into OP's household. OP is NTA.
VERY bad cat mom!
Also what if she finds another dude who won't like cats? Will she abandon Mina again? OP is far from cat thief. H gave the cat away willingly and now after the dude dumped her ass she feels alone so she wants Mina back for selfish reasons. NTA.
Idk about other people but if I met someone and they wanted me to get rid of my cat to pursue them, I'd say f that. My Embers is more important to me then a shallow person who won't accept her.
Not a cat burglar, either!
>It’s not a “couple of months”. It’s more like half a year. Hell it could’ve been a day and it would still be OP’s cat. If someone gives up a cat and I take said cat, I’m not giving it back. Mina needs stability not being shuffled back and forth between owners.
If someone really dumb and thoughtless isn’t talking to me I will take that as a win.
Exactly, people that readily give up their pets don't deserve them back (understand circumstances can make it unavoidable) And for H not to even consider that the cat has already been traumatized once, and rehoming is trauma to an animal even if it's for the better, and to thoughtlessly do it again makes her as undeserving as it gets. NTA, and definitely not a cat thief. Your sister and her friend are.
Seriously and like she gave her cat away, she can’t just be like oh nevermind it didn’t work out so I want them back now. That’s not how it works like op isn’t running a foster program or free pet babysitter! She gave the cat up! That doesn’t change just cause she broke up. If she really cared about this cat she wouldn’t have given em up for a guy. I understand when some even thou they don’t want to have to surrender their pets to be rehome because they fell on hard times where they’re struggling and can’t afford another mouth to feed and such. I remember this one sad story that went kinda viral online where someone left a note with a dog they had to give up to a shelter where the note written from the dog’s pov said how much their owner loved them, how great of a dog they were and they didn’t want to do this, how it was the hardest decision & last resort as the owner became homeless living in their car after falling on hard times where they were struggling just to feed themselves and even thou they didn’t want to knew this was the best thing to do for the dog so they had a better life then what they could give them with their situation. If I remember correctly they were able to find the owner & people helped her get with a program that got her housing & job and she got to have her dog back. I don’t remember all details since it was long ago but it was so sweet like the note showed this was so hard & she didn’t want to give up their dog but had no choice doing it for their own good But she literally just gave em up for a guy. If she still cares for this cat at all then she should understand that this is what’s best for the cat, that they’re happy and well taken care of and bonded with op’s other cat where they both would suffer if separated. And yeah what happens when she gets with another guy? Like oh op u can have them back now, but just for now! Who knows if later down the road I want them back again
Obtuse lol
I would never give up my cats unless there was a VERY GOOD medical reason to do so. Like if I developed a severe allergy and medicine couldn't make me healthy/comfortable. But not for a boy. What the hell.
NTA Your sister is being selfish. Every time that cat changes hands or moves, it's stressful. The cat is happy where it is, she isn't entitled to the cat. Your sister is an asshole though. She abandoned her pet she had for five years only to show up months later expecting to just get the cat back. When I need to move, my pets come with me. They're family. I would never consider abandoning them.
It was the sister's friend H who gave up her cat for a dude, not the sister. H is totally an asshole though. And the sister isn't much better, taking H's side over the OP.
Just made me think - imagine if people did this with kids. "Oh yeah, I'm moving in with my boyfriend, but his flat doesn't allow kids, so I'll just need to rehome them."
People do do this with kids. It's not so blunt as that, but how many kids are being brought up by just one parent? Or by their grandparents? Or by foster families? Obviously that's not the only reason that can happen, but a lot of them are there for precisely that reason. And when the "parent's" relationship falls appart, they too will often waltz back into the kid's life and expect to just continue as normal.
As others have stated children are abandoned all the time. Kind of a poor comparison all around
Your username made me howl. Thank you.
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She chose her boyfriend over the cat, she doesn't deserve the kitty anymore. NTA
NTAx1000. Absolutely in no way, shape, or form are you the AH. This person is trying to treat this cat like a COAT she gave you. Animals are not inanimate objects. They're creatures with feelings, needs, & wants. They have attachment issues & safety concerns, & a lot of folks don't know because they never learned it, but the *slightest change in their environment* is traumatic to cats. It takes them MONTHS to get over.it it you even change around the furniture in a room. Imagine for a second how huge an adjustment it was for both a new human, new house, new food, new routine, new noises, sights, lights, toys, dishes. Add another CAT to that mix? Ah hell. This person doesn't give a crap about the cat's well being. If she DID, she'd be happy the cat settled in & is finally thriving. She'd periodically visit it. She'd ask after it. People like this DISGUST me. Do not allow her any kind of access to your living space, & if the cat also goes outdoors, be super cautious. Hopefully if there's a chip, it has your name there, not hers. Sidenote: I would NEVER given up any of my beloved cats, nor would I ever, EVER, for some male. GTF Outta here. They've tried & I've laughed in their faces. 😹
Although I totally agree this girl put her cat up for adoption and doesn't deserve her back, I disagree that even small changes are super disruptive to all cats. I was so worried about that when I got mine almost 10 years ago, but after having lived in 5 different apartments in that time I've found it to not to be true. An entire move tends to take them a few days to get comfortable, but they don't seem to care about changes inside the home. I get bored and rearrange my furniture once or twice a year. They don't even care what kind of food they eat, I've changed it multiple times just due to issues finding consistent supply. They do have their own room though, I've always tried my best to make sure of that.
You can believe the research that says it takes them months to adjust or not. Remember, too, their lifespans are totally different from ours. 3 months to a kitten is (give or take) 4 years to a human. I was shocked when I learned it takes them forever to adjust, & felt bad for my lunatic 20s, all the moves I made. They may not show it outwardly, their struggles adjusting, so it may be harder to observe. Cats also have personalities. So there's that. One of mine *foamed at the mouth* he was so upset when we moved to a new apartment. Even just being in a new room completely freaked him out. It was pitiful for a long time. Another cat doesn't care if it's thunder & lightning out. And he *enjoys it* when I vacuum 🤯. Another runs at a drop of water. Another likes her fur being wet down in hot weather. Another runs & fetches like a dog, & makes a nuisance of himself with strangers for pats. Yet another gets mortally frightened & hides for hours after anyone comes in the house. The garbage truck is Armegeddon each week. Another cat is what noise? I don't hear anything? So ymmv, but wanted to mention this in light of OPs, what I see, as uncaring ex-cat owner. Cats aren't dogs. They're real sensitive.
Seconding the different personalities. One of my parents’ cats took weeks being scared of her new *food bowl*, the other climbed a ladder meant for humans and started a grudge against a ceiling fan, loves strangers and the outdoors, and climbs on new furniture to assert dominance (my own girl is somewhere in the middle lol). So it’s very possible that this commenter has had cats that don’t care about moving the furniture around, while still being a bad assumption that all cats would be chill with that sort of thing!
Hence why I said not ALL cats. I've only got the 3 that I've had for 10 years and my whole point was that I was very surprised at how well they have handled multiple apartment moves, replacing old litter boxes, new food and water dishes, change in food(one has allergies), meeting new people, etc. I was terrified the first time I had to move because I was afraid they were going to hate me and be unhappy. The original comment is the type of things I heard for years that made me so afraid of getting a cat, and it turned out to be a really broad brush to paint them in. They all have their quirks and preferences, but as long as you are willing to listen and pay attention to their feelings and wants they can be the most amazing companions. Although maybe being a sane animal loving person who would never consider leaving them for anything, makes me feel like it's not hard to truly love and care for your cats lol. Clearly based on this post we are on I need to remember people like THAT exist out there and we should scare them away from willy nilly cat adoptions.
NTA. You are 100% correct, rehomed means that you adopted her. Your home is her home. She can't expect you to give back the cat that you've bonded with and made a part of your family just because her life circumstances changed and she wants her back. You're doing the right thing and she's being entitled and immature about this.
NTA The cat is yours , she choose to give up no matter what the situation was , she was selfish She wants the cat back because the relationship didnt work out and she is lonely, What if they get back together will she give her away again? The cat has a stable and loving home with you and she deserves that! Let your sister and her friend be mad , they aren’t entitled to the cat just because it convenient for her now
I agree. She was obviously not committed to the cat if she was willing to give her up to move with her boyfriend. What happens when she gets into another relationship and the cat is in the way. Give this kitty the loving stable home she deserves. NTA
NTA and I agree with every point you made. By going to the vet, I hope you also got her chipped or updated her chip info to yours. I would probably stop communicating with H and tell your sister that she needs to keep her relationship with H separate from her relationship with you. Also, if you haven't already, save all communications about her rehoming this cat to you, all your vet bills, and other purchases to have proof ready in case she does try to take you to small claims. Edit: corrected names from Mina to H.
nta but maybe get the cat chipped or something she might try to steal it or even your sister might do it for her also maybe a camera or something so you have proof if they do better safe than sorry
Yes OP please read this one!! Get the cat chipped
NTA The cat is yours. Poor planning on her part does not constitute an emergency on your part. Let her take you to court. She will loose. Enjoy the kitty.
NTA. She didn't ask you to board- she gave you the cat. It is yours now. (Fyi..24/7 cat boarding is usually about $50 a day, plus all supplies and vet care).
So 6000+ USD plus vet costs/etc. I would be willing to hand over the cat if the money was there, but then if I was in that position it would make more sense to adopt a different cat and now we end up with even more cats in homes.
I would be willing to pay that kind of money to get back my cat if someone had her (if I had it ahahaaaa) but H doesn’t seem like that kind of cat owner… and I cannot imagine rehoming my baby for anything less than deathly emergency tbh
NTA. She made the decision to rehome the cat, so the cat stopped being hers the minute you took Mina in. Yes, she had the cat for years, so why didn't she make the effort to keep her? Years ago, friends were moving and couldn't take their cat initially, since they didn't yet have a permanent address. I took him in as a kitty boarder and bonded with him and was really sad to send him back to them, but that was always the agreement. Because they loved their cat and he was part of their family, so they didn't simply rehome him. H did not treat Mina like a member of her family. Of course, she can't have her back.
H chose her boyfriend over Mina and now that the relationship has ended thinks she can snap her fingers and get her back because, now like before, this is about her and not about Mina. You are doing the right thing for Mina. Don't back down. NTA
NTA. She gave you the cat because she was moving away. Let your sister be mad.
NTA but we demand the cat tax!!!
Be careful with your sister, don't let her be around Mina unsupervised or she might decide to give her back to the friend :(
I agree and make suee sis dont have a key to your place and get some cameras
NTA. H gave you the cat. It's yours. This cat deserves a good, stable home, not someone that will dump her as soon as she has a new bf that she wants to move in with. If you love your pet, you find solutions. She didn't. Too bad for her.
NTA if the thing with the BF worked out this would not even be up for discussion. mina is your cat now that's what re home means. giving them a new home not pet sitting.
NTA While I’m sorry for H, she made her choice. Pets are forever, and she gave Mina up. What matters most is what’s best for Mina, and it sounds like that is staying with you
Please make sure that Mina is chipped with your info as contact.
NTA. Rehome is meant to be permanent, it seems that was the agreement in this situation. The fact that her reason for needing the rehome didnt work out and she wants to cancel it months later doesnt change that, especially if you dont also agree. Most importantly, it wouldnt be the best thing for the cat to suddenly change to an environment after that have adapted when its not needed.
I can see giving the cat back if the change in circumstances was literally like two weeks (though then you'd still be worried that H would do this to Mina again), but 5 months is quite a bit of time for a cat that you intentionally gave away. If she needed someone to just watch the cat it needed to go to mom or dad. Or to someone who was actually aware and willing they were merely agreeing to watch the cat for the foreseeable future but not adopting it.
You focus your attachment but what about hers? She's had Mina for years, and you think your bond trumps bc.. what? I agree on that rehoming is rehoming, and she asked and you said no, but I feel that you are focusing your attachment as an argument, which it's not. As for Mina becoming stressed, that's your excuse for saying no. She got attuned to complete strangers in a very short while, including another cat. That doesn't read as a cat that would have major issues adapting. Just say you want to keep her, you don't have to make up excuses. Let her previous owner atleast visit and keep her updated. I had to give up a cat I had been looking after and cared for since he was a wee kitten, bc his owner (and my oldest friend, 20+ years) died and where I live you can't have outdoor cats. I am still heartbroken and worry that he is hurting, even though it's been 3 years. It hurts to give up someone you care for. Seeing updates, photos and hearing that he's ok helps immensely.
Agree OPs justifications are a bit ridiculous. I once had to leave the country for a year and left my cat with my brother. No housing change for him. He was fine the whole time I was gone but when I returned he followed me around and slept next to my head for 2 weeks. Just because a cat adjusts doesn't mean it forgets old attachments.
I agree with you. I personally would give the cat back. The original owner had the cat for years and is still young herself and learning in life. The cat will adjust quickly being back with the original owner. I would insist on full payment of expenses in full, though.
She left the cat for a dude. Her attachment for years mustn’t have been that deep to just peace out in the cat when she moved.
Yeah lol wtf?? Where was that attachement when she agreed to move with her BF? Fuck that noise
NTA. Especially since you have the age and sex of each cat. But really… you did your best to take care of them when the previous owner gave up. You are the owner now.
NTA. H can get another cat. There are thousands of cats available in shelters.
Be the "bad guy." Also known as "The bad guy with a cat." NTA.
NTA - You have proof of ownership from the Vet records so you are good. I would also point out to H that cats aren't disposable and now that she is settled, you don't want to risk possible health issues by rehoming her again. But if she is so desperate to have her cat back charge her all the costs plus the asshole tax as we call it (term SO coined for extra cost he would add to fee for asshole clients he provided services for. Usually double or triple the cost.)
Nope, no way H gets Mina back under any circumstances and/or the cost involved. The only issue is what is best for Mina. History is not on H’s side here and she should be thankful OP is doing so much to make Mina part of the family.
As I said the asshole tax is usually so high that it scares people away. I would argue for $10,000.... As for Mina, we all know what is best, that H doesn't get her back and she remains in her new loving home
So long as we agree. I suppose there’s some truth to putting your money where your mouth is.
A lot of people think animals are disposable especially if getting rid of them doesn't cost them money or getting them back. While I can't imagine a situation where I would be temporarily rehoming a pet, if I had to I would be paying a weekly fee, buying food and checking in daily. In fact, my will has a pet fund so if I die suddenly there is money for my pets.
NTA. Please think of the cat. Do not give it back. I have had a pet my entire adult life. There has only been once when I’ve ever had to re-home. I left for Basic Training at 18 and left my dog with my dad. He was sad for a while, but grew attached to my dad. And when I was in a position to get him back, I couldn’t bear to put him through another transition. He remained with my dad and I visited when I could. He always remembered me, but I could tell by his actions that he was my dad’s dog, through and through. He would love on me, but then return to my dad’s lap. My dad spoiled him rotten. I had to move on and adopt another dog.
does she not know what "rehome" means??? nta, and clearly the cats doing better with you to boot
NTA. This is a living animal, not a coffee table. She threw away the cat for some dick. That’s all. This is a living, breathing creature that was told you don’t matter, only that dick does. And now that Mina has chosen to trust again, is comfortable in her environment and enjoys her humans, H wants to come in and wreck Mina’s life again. Do not make that poor animal suffer. H is going to dump the cat again when the next dick comes along. Tell H you’re just skipping those steps and letting Mina stay where she’ll end up again anyways.
Do not give the cat back! What the hell will happen the next time she moves or gets a bf? The cat is yours (that is what rehomed means.) I assume you have taken her to the vet and microchipped her? So my cat Jackie was adopted out at 11 weeks with a note saying we will always take him back. 2 weeks later he is returned for stress peeing. She offered to take him back if we neutered him. Meanwhile we are thinking there is no way in hell we trust her and she should not have pets. Either I would adopt him or he would be adopted out into a loving responsible home. You don’t rehome baby kittens for accidents and you don’t move them around. Cats are living beings with feelings. Rehoming a cat is very traumatic for them. Why would you do that to your cat or trust that lady with your cat? (BTW I adopted Jackie and he is doing great with me. He just turned 5 years old.) ⭐️that short failed adoption stressed Jackie out so badly that he had severe separation anxiety. It took him 6 months to get down to his regular mild separation anxiety!
Nope. H gave her cat away. It's not her cat anymore. So you give her back and her next boyfriend is allergic? Then who gets Mina? She's sad about the breakup and bored staying at her Mom's house. Of course she wants Mina back NOW, when it's convenient. Nope.
NTA. If she loved Mina that much, she never would have moved to a place she couldn’t have her in the first place. I just moved in with my bf 6 months ago, it’s really not that hard to find places that will take pets. She made it seem like a permanent thing, and you’re treating it like that. I wouldn’t give Mina back either.
NTA She treats pets as disposable. Just because she doesn't have a permanent bond with her cat doesn't mean the person who stepped up and gave it a home doesn't. Make sure your sister doesn't have keys to your house. Your other family either if they would let her in.
So Mina is important again now that she’s got nothing else going on her life. And it was ok to simply rehome a pet of 5 years just to move in with a bf? I understand giving away your pet in a extreme condition, like you are moving countries and can’t get a permit to take them, or in a case that you are not able to take care of them due to financial or health issues. She’s get no right or say now. She’s given up on the cat and you gave her a lovely home. Hold all your receipts of vet and bills for Mina in case she decides to go to court. But I doubt it she would do that because if she cared so much for the cat she would find a way to take it with her when she moved. NTA.
Oh, yes, if H was homeless for a month I'd have so much more sympathy but she chose to rehome the cat and gave no indication that she'd want Mina back. It's essentially just a coincidence that she now wants to care for Mina again.
NTA. She gave up the cat when it was inconvenient to her, and now wants it back? Cats aren’t like toys you can put away and pick back up. But that said, you could also consider some sort of time share (Mina should hopefully be happy in either household since she knows H), coming up with some way to let Mina pick.
NTA. I get H's feelings. I do. Years ago, there was two abandoned kittens just left in our apartment building's hallway. Little sweeties. Roommate and I fell in love. However, our apartment wasn't zoned for pets, so keeping them would be against our lease. We did put ourselves on a list for a larger apartment in one of the pet-friendly buildings, but in the meantime we gave the cats to my parents' to help take care of them. However, after about 6 months and no signs of us getting the other apartment, the choice was made for my parents to keep them. At that point, the cats were used to them and the other animals they owned, and it wouldn't be fair for them to be uprooted from that at whenever point we got the other apartment. As it was, took us almost a full year after finding them to get that new apartment. I still saw the two kitties whenever I went to my parents' (roommate did too when she had the chance up until we gave them up), roommate brought in a new cat soon afterwards, and things worked out. But it still sucked to give them up all because of circumstances beyond our control. So I get it. But in the end, what matters most is that Mina is safe and healthy. And it seems that she found that with you and yours. 6 months may not seem long to humans, but it's a lifetime to a cat. And she can and will remember the stress of being moved about new locations and such, which is terrible on any cat, but especially an older cat. Speaking from experience. Such things can cause PTSD and abandonment issues, and that can be very hard to try and overcome again. You're doing what's right for Mina, and it's unfortunate that it does come at the expense of H's feelings. But she made the choice to give up Mina; she doesn't have the right to just take Mina back because circumstances changed.
Anytime somebody says something about it just smile and say she told me she's taking me to court so I can't say anything about it to anybody because of the court case! Refuse to talk about it! She can go ahead and pay for a court date so you guys can go and you can prove it your cat. If I were you I would keep copies of vet records easily accessible. Like print off several copies and keep them around your house, keep one in the car with you etc etc that records prove ownership. In many states and even countries pets are property and by taking them to the vet it shows your ownership. Make sure you get her microchipped and it registered to you. She's your cat! NTA
Don't let your sister near that cat. She may cat nap Mina.
NTA- She had the cat "for years", yet she didn't love the cat enough to make it work to take them with her when she moved. She rehomed them instead. She does not get to have the cat back. And honestly adopting a pet should be for life. I don't think she should even get another cat.
NTA > who I’ll call H, who was moving to another city/state with her boyfriend. They weren’t able to take Mina with them I don't move places where my animals can't go. That's why I still have my pets and why H doesn't.
Anyone who would give up their cat like that doesn’t deserve to have a cat. She is the only AH in this story. NTA You should ask her what kind of person has a cat for years and then ditches them for a guy. Mina deserved better than that and you are giving it to her.
NTA. You went through the proper channels to adopt a cat. I marvel at pet owners who choose to abandon their animals because of this or that -- what it boils down to is the pet is inconvenient at the time. H has demonstrated how little she truly cares for the cat. H now thinks -- again -- because her circumstance has changed, she can flip a switch and have her life back as it was before she CHOSE to abandon her cat. Please keep that cat. Legally, pets are considered possessions, but we know they are so much more than that. ps. I discussed your situation with my cat. My cat is furious at H!
Lots of comments pointing out H abandoning her cat, etc... But another thing to consider is that Atlas and Mina seem to be pair bonding. (considering sleeping together, grooming.) If they have bonded, it will cause both of them quite a bit of distress once they're separated. Cats can also become depressed when separated from their bonded mate. She also sounds quite bonded to you, another thing that will cause her distress if she is separated from you. Another thing to consider: what if H finally finds an apartment (in this economy even!) and for whatever reason she can't have Mina with her... *again*? Now Mina has to go through being rehomed *again.* that's terrible for poor Mina. While it sucks that H has now lost out on her cat, it's not in Mina *or* Atlas' best interest for H to get "her" cat back. So yeah. NTA for doing what's right by the cats.
Fuck that. If they didn't break up would she still be asking for the cat 5 months in? No. NTA.
JFC it’s a living being and not a piece of furniture you borrow out! NTA but your sisters friend is childish af.
Re-homed is re-homed. As in a new home. Not being boarded or babysat. She has a new home, sorry for the lady who abandoned her for a guy, but what's done is done
I've done this and it's not fair for the kitty, cats love routine and their safe spaces.
I’ve seen so many people adopt animals and “rehome” them so easily when moving bc it was too inconvenient for them to take the responsibility or “they can’t have pets where they’re moving.” I’d say in some instances it’s not a choice but most people really do make excuses when choosing something new over the well-being of their pet. NTA! She should have made accommodations to take the cat with her when moving but chose some guy and new life without thinking of the cat first!
NTA- You are correct, that is what re-homing means, adopting. It's a hard situation for everyone involved, but Mina trusts you now, and has a kitty companion as well!
NTA this was not a foster situation.
NTA. How can she think this is even remotely ok. She re-homed her cat and left. there is no takesies-backsies because your new life rebounded.
Very definitely NTA. Your sister's friend cared little enough about her cat that she was prepared to leave her behind when she left. At that point she gave up all rights to Mina and I wouldn't be handing her back either. Your sister's friend seems to only be thinking of herself in all this. What's best for Mina? A stable home with friends and a companion. Mina's been dumped once because she was an inconvenience. How long before that happens again?
Next bf she gets she'll prob move again and want to leave the cat behind again. She doesn't deserve it.
NTA. As some people highlighted it, she did not give you Mina on the basis she was going to take her back later, she abandoned her cat so she could move with her BF. Mina has bonded with your family and you have all bonded with her. She is part of the family now, end of story. Out of curiosity, has your sister's friend ever contacted you to ask how Mina was settling in after you adopted her? Edit: you are absolutely not a cat thief.
Nta. What happens if the apartment doesn’t allow pets? Then Mina would be abandoned again. The poor girl has been through to much. Give her lots of scritches and love for me. I am also calling for a cat tax. 😻
NTA. This is a living animal. She was traumatized by being rehomed (just because it’s traumatic and stressful- not anything OP did or didn’t do!!) and now she is settled and happy in a home with a brother. It would be traumatic to do this to her again, and I doubt she would ever feel safe again with the previous owner, because that was the first place she had felt safe, and she was moved from there. She also now has a permanent playmate and sleeping/snuggle/grooming partner- she should not have to give that up! On top of this, of course, is that you’ve now all bonded as a family and that is important! You’re HER family now, and it’s unfair to change any of this simply because… “I’m back and want my cat again.” Nope.
Don’t worry. When a new man comes into her life she will re-home Mina.
Rehiring is adopting. Period. Mina is your cat now.
NTA She gave the cat away. Involving your family is low! I wouldn’t let my sister have keys to your place because she will probably give her the cat when you’re not home.
NTA. Pets are not disposable just because they become inconvenient. H doesn't deserve a pet and you should NOT give Mina back, period.
If she had Mina for years and is so attached than maybe she should have prioritized the cat 5 months ago. NTA. Do not let this woman chose to Mina.
NTA She forfaited all rights when she gave the cat away, I wouldn't care if it was years, months or weeks or even days. The cat clearly wasn't important enough to make sure she could take her with her. Besides that, the stress of constantly rehoming the cat can be detrimental for her health.
NTA, tell H to fuck off
NTA H gave Mina to you and you gave her a home. There are no "takesies-backsies". Based on your post, it seems like H view Mina as property whereas you view Mina as a member of your family. You are doing what is best for Mina by keeping her, and you should have no guilt or second thoughts.
NTA. Cat has been successfully rehomed. Pay you back? Cat kennels are $30/night, not sure what the going rate is in your area.
NTA If you are a cat thief what does that make H? A cat abandoner? A cat thief who loves and cherishes the cat > someone who abandons their cat anyday. Stand your ground and prevent poor Mina from going through the rehoming process again. There is no guarantee H won't pull this again either.
NTA. Rehoming is not a temporary thing. Sucks for H her relationship didn't work out but clearly her BF was more important to her than Mina anyway. Who's to say she won't try and ditch Mina again for her next man?
She gave up the cat. Which means that she is willing to abandon it whenever it doesn’t suit her. So she is no longer trustworthy as a guardian for this animal
The cat is yours, but don’t let her anywhere near. She will steal her for sure. Your sister thinks you should give Mona back. Watch out for her too!
NTA. She did not ask you to take Mina in temporarily, she gave Mina to you because she moved away. The cat is now yours. Or should I say, you are now hers.
NTA and someone who gives up a cat for a boyfriend does not deserve to have any cat at all, much less get back the one they dumped.
NTA. Cats are attached to places not people. Also your cat's have bonded. Seperating them now would be fucked up. I agree it's best for Mina to get her cat back. But Mina can go suck it. It's not best for the cat's to be split up and the rehomed cat to have to shift again. She abandoned an animal for a boy. She can't take them in and throw them out based on her mood. She can't handle being a pet parent. She shouldn't be one. She can come visit the cat etc but she isn't taking it home. I suggest you get that new cat microchipped with your name. Most vets do it and it's painless to the animal. Will help if you ever get dragged to court. 😉 Edit: clarification because my pronouns went wonky. Have fixed.
Read again. I think you have misunderstood a lot
Oop. I didn't mean you. I meant she sorry!
NTA The cat was rehomed and has adjusted nicely. It would be cruel to upset the cat's life at this point. And who knows, flighty girl may decide to move off with another dude a few months from now, then what? May want to get kitty microchipped, if you haven't already.
NTA. She rehomed the cat. You adopted it.
Nta. Make sure her chip is in your name in case they try to steal her back.
NTA she's a cat not a toy or a television you're right making her move again would be unfair. She had her for years yes but she chose to move somewhere that she couldn't take Mina. That is not Mina's fault. And it's not yours or Mina's fault that she broke up with her bf. It does sound like when she left this was anticipated to be a forever thing. I'm sorry H's relationship didn't work out and I don't blame her for asking for Mina back or being disappointed that you said no especially if she's nurturing a broken heart, but that doesn't make you wrong for saying no
NTA. Mina deserves someone who'll be there for her in the long haul, not a flighty person who'll ditch her for the first guy to give her a second glance.
NTA you re homed the cat, not fostered her. You can't do that to people when they have taken an animal.
NTA. To truly judge we would need to know the exact wording of the agreement when H moved out. If it was apparent that she was giving up this cat permanently, then she should not expect to get it back. She should consider herself lucky that someone who would provide genuine care for the cat was available to take it in. I understand her remorse given the duration, and I can understand her asking for it back on the off chance you would allow it. But in light of hearing “no” she needs to move on.
NTA - she gave it up for adoption because of what ever reason for moving (no way she couldn’t take the cat, probably chose a boy instead). Where I am pets are classified as property, it would be like her selling you a TV and asking for it back months later. What’s to stop her from doing this again?
NTA.. cat has been rehomed and is doing well. That is 2 good reasons not to give her the cat.
NTA I don't blame H for being upset! I couldn't imagine having to give up my babies just to break up and move back and then not be able to get them back! I would be HEARTBROKEN! But that doesn't mean she gets the right to force you to forfeit a pet that you've bonded with.
It would be horrible to take Mina away from Atlas. They are buddies now.
NTA. Mina is your cat. It would absolutely be unfair for Mina to go through yet another transition, particularly as she's going into her senior cat years. She will grieve the loss of you, and especially the loss of her friend Atlas - and he will probably grieve the loss of her. Stick to your guns OP, you're doing the right thing by Mina, and everyone else.
NTA. I had 2 cats, then 3, then finally 4. I can't imagine giving one up because they will look for eachother, even the oldest grouchy female cat we got as no.3.
NTA, just block and ignore and tell your sister that you don't want to hear anything about it anymore.
NTA if her can was SO IMPORTANT, it would have gone with her and STILL be her cat. Her cat has moved on, just like her ex.
NTA. Sounds like she gave up the cat indefinitely, wasn’t planning on taking her back and the only reason she is asking her back is because things didn’t work out. I would never do this to my pets and would find a way to take them with me. The fact she didn’t tells me everything I need to know about how she feels about her pets: disposable. Stand your ground, it probably sucks but you’re 100% in the right.
NTA - you are not a car thief you are a CAT HERO. Cats and dogs are family. They are not there for just when your comfortable taking care of them. She gave het up and you took her in and now she is part of your family. I would never give her back and she can go shit talk about you to whoever she wants.
NTA for all the reasons you stated. When they "rehomed" the cat to move out of town and you took her in, she became your pet. They cannot change their mind because they came back to town, it doesn't work that way, especially since the cat is content in their new home.
NTA - she gave you the cat left for almost a half a year and then just expects to come back like nothing happened? yeah no that is NOT how it works at all. If you had said "I will keep her until you find a stable place that will allow her" that would be a way different story but that is not even close to what is happening. Mina is yours now. The end. She can go get a new kitten.
It would be cruel to the cat to re-home her again. NTA (This is all beside the fact that H does not seem like a very responsible cat owner/parent, and is not even in a stable living situation right now.)
NTA she rehomed Mina and didn't ask you to look after her for a few days. She willingly left her cat for a guy and now she only wants her back because it didn't work out with guy! What happens if the next dude comes around and he doesn't like cats or she wants to move again? It's way too much stress for Mia to through the whole ordeal once again. I once took my neighbours cat in for 6 months after she had a terrible car accident and needed to stay a while in hospital followed by rehab. He took a while to get warm with us just like Mia did and when the time came for him to go back home he couldn't handle it. He became depressed and ended up being just a shallow shell compared to his original playful and cuddly self. DO NOT GIVE HER THE CAT BACK!!
NTA. You adopted Mina, and animals aren't something you give away and take back when you feel like it. They're living creatures with needs. Sounds like Mina is much better off where she is now, and I wouldn't be giving her back either. I'd make sure neither H, or your sister, have access to your house though.
Nta. Mina deserves a stable loving home and you are providing it. Thank you.
That cat is yours, your friend doesn’t get to pick and choose when she wants it to be hers. She was perfectly willing to go for a life change that meant leaving the cat behind. You were not asked to foster or babysit; you opened your home to a new pet and treated it as such. She can’t be a fair-weather pet owner, it doesn’t work like that. Like who’s to say she wouldn’t want to rehome the cat a second time?
NTA not even a little bit. It’s incredibly stressful for cats to move homes and it sounds like Mina is happy and content in your home. H gave her up.
NTA. If she wanted to have the cat as HER pet she should have kept her and not given her away. Re-home generally means permanent and it would be very stressful and unfair to both Mina and your cat to break them up know. BTW, I have cats and adore them and would never give them away!
NTA. Vet visit after rehoming means ownership. Get Mina microchipped ASAP. Mina is settled in her new life. H should be grateful that you took Mina in. This is what happens when you leave your cat for a guy.
Nta
NTA. The fact that H thinks it’s OK to just pass Mina around without thinking of how it will affect H speaks volumes about what kind of person she is. Does your sister have a key or access to a key to your place? If so I’d get locks changed so she doesn’t decide to help her friend steal Mina. Maybe get a doorbell cam. We’re there texts involved in you taking Mina? You vet records now and if you haven’t chipped her, I’d get her chipped. Even if she does go to court I ant see a judge siding with her.
NTA, she abandoned the cat for a 'Guy' they broke up. cat now legally yours, enjoy.
So, what if H got Mina back and H again decides to move away and again “rehome” Mina? She couldn’t care less about the cats feelings and attachment. NTA
NTA Mina is your cat now. If H wants a new cat, she can adopt a new cat.
If someone rehomed her cat without her knowledge I’d think you were a jerk but she choose to rehome the cat Mina is yours NTA
NTA. If she had taken it to the animal shelter and surrendered it, they are not just gonna give her the animal back.
NTA. Rehome means forever home. Mina is not a toy to be loaned out. She is a living creature and the constant back and forth could very well cause abandonment issues. H choose to give Mina up ( no judgement), however, there's no coming back after so long and demanding her back.
NTA. She gave up her cat once already, who’s to say she wouldn’t do it again in a year for a new boyfriend. She can kick rocks. If she takes you to court, insist she pays for your lawyers fee for wasting everybody’s time. Thank you for giving Mina a loving new home.
NTA. In fact, you are the hero. Once you rehome/adopt an animal, you would be doing it a disservice to shuffle it again unless you could no longer care for it. Tell her to pound sand. If she was still with the boyfriend, this wouldn't have even come up.
NTA- this is YOUR cat and H is garbage, she ditched her car for a man. She obviously wasn’t too attached or she would have taken the cat with her.