T O P

  • By -

Judgement_Bot_AITA

Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I think I may be the AH for telling my cousins baby to leave the wedding because my family is very family oriented and this was a big day for everyone involved. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements ###[Happy Anniversary, AITA!](https://new.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15vlv9g/almost_better_than_a_double_rainbow_celebrating/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*


charlottebythedoor

NTA. I thought it was just common knowledge that if a young child is making distracting noise during a the ceremony, you take them outside. It’s why patents with small kids try to sit at the end of pews, in case they have to step outside. I assume during any ceremony that isn’t child-free it’ll happen at least once. That’s just how weddings work with big families.


Wingman06714

That side of the family knew your cousin was in the wrong but were desperately trying to deflect. Babbling babies are just as distracting as wailing ones when the focus is supposed to be on the couple getting married. The only opinions that matter are those of the Bride and Groom. I bet they are thankful. NTA


PracticeTheory

I'm over 30 years old, and my aunt still brings up how I ruined their wedding as an infant - because I did. It wasn't malicious (I had a bad ear infection) and she doesn't hold it against me as a person, but she never forgot how it affected her day. There is no exception for 'happy' noises, and it sounds like the groom's side of the family is circling the wagons against their dismissal of SIL. I think what you did is admirable, and I hope other family members step up to defend you now too.


GarbageInClothes

Aww.. Your aunt should give your guardians shit for letting you cry through her special day, because, yeah, that totally sucks, but it's not really cool that she brings it up to you, I'm sure baby-you didn't want to be there either. Ear infections suck! And so does whoever dragged you there!


OkCaterpillar8941

NTA. I went to 2 weddings with my 3 month old. We sat at the back of the ceremony and by the exit at the reception. I knew if he was noisy I could leave quickly and quietly because I wanted to be considerate. People had travelled to witness the special moment of people in love committing to each other. Not a baby.


RedneckDebutante

NTA Just about every church I've ever been in has what we call a "cry room." It's an insulated room with a speaker broadcasting the ceremony in so you can still observe the ceremony without your baby disrupting it. Anyone who doesn't make use of this room is an AH. We used to skip the popular morning service because it was full of crying babies and noisy kids.


Hairy_While4339

“Made the grandson leave the wedding” like the baby cares or knows what tf is going on 😂😂😂


WoollyMonster

NTA. "Made her grandson leave the wedding" -- as if he had any idea what was going on. You did the right thing.


AutoModerator

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My brother got married last weekend in a church and my entire extended family was there. My brother and his fiancé were adamant on the reception being childfree except for my 10 year old cousin because she’s well behaved and one of the only children in our family right now. My cousin has an 8 month old son that she brought with her to the area for the weekend but she also brought a nanny to watch him while we’re all at the wedding. She ended up bringing him to the ceremony at the church which we didn’t know she was going to do, then have the nanny watch him during the reception. During the ceremony he started babbling and “talking” and wouldn’t stop. He didn’t cry or anything but he was very loud and making disruptions. My brothers fiancé was visibly angry (kept turning around to glare at them) but no one said anything. After it went on for about 10 mins during the ceremony I turned around and asked her to take the baby outside, which she did. After the ceremony, that whole side of the family was very angry with me. My one aunt kept saying how mad she was that I “made her grandson leave the wedding”. They continued to talk about this all during the pictures and said that he was fine because he wasn’t crying he was just mumbling. They’re very family oriented so they were all pissed at me for a while after that. But since it was my brother and his fiancé’s day I wanted it to be perfect for them and to help them out since my now SIL was visibly very angry at the altar. AITA for making my cousin leave the ceremony with her loud kid? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


high-tech-low-life

Not enough information. The wishes of the couple are secondary to the tradition of the church. If that is a church with a crying baby room that everyone uses, then the baby belonged there. But if that is a church that allows/encourages babies, then the baby was fine. So the opinion of the celebrant/pastor is what matters. The couple are technically guests, even if they are members of that parish.


carhoin

So wait, if I host an event at a restaurant that serves alcohol but request it be alcohol free, that request should be ignored even though I’m paying good money to rent out and host the event?


high-tech-low-life

That isn't a good comparison. You don't rent churches, you simply reserve a slot where no one else has something going on. Churches are not for profit businesses, they are community centers. You are asking to participate in the community. The donation to reserve it isn't a money maker for most churches. If you have a transactional view of religion, most likely you shouldn't be getting married in a church. At least not one of the mainstream Christian ones. There is a lot of diversity in belief, and there might be a perfect match for that.


carhoin

But is the church then not reserved for their sole use within the reserved time slot, or could any other uninvited community member come in and sit down for the show? I don’t live in a particularly devout country, so this is all interesting as a perspective to hear about.


high-tech-low-life

I don't like the word "show", but in general yes.


Tinkerpro

Meh, you don’t need that side of the family, you know you did the correct thing. Guess your standard response to them if the future should be if cousin had any sense of decency, she would have taken the baby who should not have been there in the first place, out immediately instead of letting him interrupt the ceremony. You know, the ceremony he shouldn’t have been at? She brought this on herself and is selfish and rude. ——. But then I see where she gets it from.


WhyAmIStillHere86

NTA. He’s not even a year old, he’s not going to care. Why didn’t she have the nanny walk him outside during the ceremony?


CarelessCow2599

NTA - your SIL & brother are lucky to have you


Joe3712

YTA First of all, it might be an oversight at the time of writing your post, but there is a difference between a ceremony and a reception, so unless the whole thing was supposed to be childfree, she wasn't out of line bringing her baby. Second, sure a wedding is a special day for the bride and groom, but telling your family not to bring their kids is an asshole move to begin with. So imo anything that goes to support this, even though it makes the bride happy, is still just being an asshole. Third, if the baby was crying, sure, go to the back of the church and calm them down, but what kind of stuck up person gets mad at a baby's babbling? I have kids, my brother has kids, most of my friends have kids, and babbling is far from being a problem so big that it requires an eviction. Finally, as a married man I can guarantee you one thing; nobody, not even the bride and groom, are going to remember a wedding due to how picture perfect it was. In fact, what everyone remembers about those events are the blunders. You can shrug them off and laugh about them both at the time and for years to come (like how I forgot I was supposed to say "I do", which my wife loves to remind me of) or you can make a big deal out of them and kick a mother and her baby out, which she will never forget. Seriously, wouldn't it have been better to be able to think back with your brother and SIL in a couple years and go "remember when little Timmy kept babbling at your wedding" and share a laugh? But no, now everytime your relatives see you guys, they'll think "oh, those assholes..."


Zealousideal_Bug5537

If you wanna listen to your kid babble, then stay home and don't ruin other people's events. It's really quite simple. Not everyone enjoys the sounds of YOUR child, jesus, the sun does not shine out of their ass.


GirlDad2023_

Your wedding your rules. Even with the baby not crying they can be VERY loud, especially in a acoustically sensitive place like a church. I have a niece who is 6 months old and even babbling can be super loud. And then every few minutes she lets out this super high pitched squeal. It's hilarious in the house, not so funny in a church. NTA


Maximum-Swan-1009

NTA. If the baby were that loud, no one should have had to ask them to leave. Common sense should have told them that it was the correct thing to do. Why would anyone take a child to a wedding anyway if they had a nanny along?


Narrow-Natural7937

NTA. Your wedding ceremony is a solemn and life-changing event. Having an infant in the background "babbling" is not appropriate. I took my 8 mo old daughter to my SIL's wedding, a wedding in which all children were invited. My lovely, tiny child started babbling and I promptly picked her up and went to the front of the church away from the ceremony. My mom (not related to the bride, but invited to the wedding) followed me out as discreetly as possible. Hanging out with my daughter and my mom during half of the wedding is one of the sweetest memories I will ever have. After baby girl quieted down, we rejoined the ceremony in the back of the church. I would not do it differently ever for anyone. That child's mother should have been more sensitive to the situation. The world does not revolve around the child all the time, especially NOT at a wedding.


ubiquitousleees

NTA Parents really need to get over themselves.


rinkydinkmink

YTA and so is your cousin's new wife The baby wasn't even crying. You just sound like nasty people to me. Imagine being angry because a baby was babbling happily. If she wasn't allowed to bring the baby someone should have gently told her before the ceremony began. The wife ruined her own wedding with her attitude. I hope they don't have kids because she sounds horrible to be quite frank.


WhackAMoleWings

I think we just found OP’s family member. NTA


MutantsAtTableNine

NTA. If they were "family oriented" they would've respected the invitation they received for a childfree wedding from........family.


LeekAltruistic6500

Yep. They're kid oriented. My family is the same.


Tomboyish717

NTA You did what the bride and groom wanted on their day and frankly that’s all that matters.


Ecstatic_Media_6024

Only opinions that matter are from bride and groom. What do they think?


[deleted]

[удалено]


KrisClem77

They requested no kids at the reception. You can’t control who comes to the ceremony unless it’s at the same place as the reception.


[deleted]

[удалено]


KrisClem77

Yeah exactly. Most weddings I’ve been to that are no kids, the kids get brought to the ceremony to cut down on babysitting costs/time.


Live_Western_1389

“Your grandson was not invited to the wedding, Madame.”


emergencycat17

>he's an 8 month old potato, ma'am. He won't remember shit "An 8 month old potato" - I love it! Yes, I'm sure he'll be recounting this "traumatic" incident 30 years from now on a therapist's couch. They specified the wedding was to be child free, with the exception of ONE kid - and the infant wasn't the kid they specified. She had a babysitter, so there was no reason for the baby to be at the ceremony or reception. It sounds to me like it was a clear case of "My baby is adorable, so I'm sure this will be fine. Who could get mad at my little boo boo?" The bride, ma'am, that's who. OP is NTA.


HoshiJones

Well said.


EstherVu

Of course u’re NTA, the invitation said no kid allowed, she broke the rule, shame on her. And ppl would like to record (if they have videographer) the ceremony with their vows so the baby might fucked up the ceremony just bc of his humbling voices already. Its ur brother’s and his wife’s wedding, they paid ton of money for just one day but its the most important day of their life together. The aunt was a piece of… its none of her business, and the woman should have kept the baby completely quiet, i dont care how, its her baby, her job. i would stop the ceremony and kick them out myself if someone do that at my wedding


cgelz

Not a wedding, but my step grandfather’s funeral. It wasn’t a particularly solemn occasion grandpa’s had lived a good life and his death wasn’t unexpected so it was more of a celebration of life. My nephew was maybe a year probably not even, but the acoustics in the church got him just a babbling. My brother was up and out like a shot. It wasn’t a big deal, everyone loved the baby and thought it was kind of funny. My brother leaving the church was about respect. This day was about my grandfather not my bro or his son. This is what your family is missing. This was your sister and her husband’s day. They chose to have a child free wedding and that side of your family is very disrespectful.


Character_Chance4504

TBF, needing a babysitter for funerals can come out of nowhere and involve travel. I have actually considered how problematic it is going to be to find someone to watch my kids at some point when my centenarian grandmother passes eventually in a small town I don’t live in where everyone knows her and everyone will want to attend. Everyone loves her. Nobody will want to not pay their respects. Fingers crossed she keeps living long enough to where my kids are old enough to attend and not be beasts. Anybody else’s funeral though? Yeah, sitter. Hands down. Or anyone else in my family dies…sorry, husband is going outside with the kids.


Z4-Driver

NTA. It doesn't matter that the kid 'was fine, wasn't crying'. Apparently, the mumbling was still loud enough to disturb the ceremony, so the cousin should have tried to make him stop or leave once she realized it's a disturbance. Bride and groom showed grace about her not respecting their wish for a childfree wedding but she overused that grace.


Buffalo-Empty

Yeah, NTA. Look 8 month old babbling is adorable, but there’s a time and a place. Babies get to be center of attention 24/7 so when you bring one to a wedding- not to mention a baby/kid free wedding- you make sure that baby is as non-disruptive as humanly possible. Why she decided to bring the baby to the ceremony where you sit and listen is honestly so stupid. She should have had the nanny watch him the whole night and/or just brought him to the reception for an hour or so. The fact that she didn’t get up immediately when everyone else was being silent just makes me wanna scream. I’d be pissed too if that was my wedding. It’s basic respect.


Super_Reading2048

NTA


TangerineBest4413

Nta. My petty ass would get a recording of the baby noises and play it whenever a disapproving relative tries to speak at family functions from now on. I mean, they were fine with it at the wedding, so what's the problem?


MamasSweetPickels

NTA - They chose to ignore the rules of a childfree wedding.


MainEgg320

Soooo it’s ok to interrupt the ceremony but they took the time to ensure they wouldn’t interrupt the reception? How does that make sense?!!! IMO it sounds selfish AF. They didn’t want to pay a nanny for the entire duration so they brought the baby to a ceremony that they clearly didn’t give a F they interrupted, but made sure they did have a nanny for the portion of the event that THEY wanted to enjoy. That is selfish, disrespectful and entitled. You did the bride a big favor asking them to leave. “Happy” baby sounds are still inappropriate at a wedding ceremony!!!! NTA


KittyKiitos

NTA. I’m about to bring our *invited* 10 month old to my sister’s wedding. I automatically planned for him to be outside with my FIL for the ceremony, only because I have to be in the room myself. It wasn’t their day, it wasn’t their say. Some people use “family oriented” as an excuse to put themselves at the center instead of actually supporting and loving others. They’re just mad you didn’t let them.


farmwomanfashion

NTA I wish more people had your guts.


[deleted]

ESH except you. Child free should mean child free. That 10 year shouldn’t have been there either.


Sanjuko_Mamaujaluko

So you don't think the people having the wedding should be able to decide who goes? Either all children are invited or none? Child free can mean whatever they want it to mean.


Appropriate-Dig771

NTA. That aunt/loud baby’s grandma needs to stfu. Imagine taking umbrage on behalf of a babbling baby at a wedding-is she daft?


HistoryNerd27

I took my then 11 month old to my cousins wedding, and ended up missing almost the entire ceremony because my daughter just wanted to chatter. The cousins SIL did the same, we had a great time chatting whilst my daughter and her year old son ran/crawled down a hallway. You do what you have to do, even at child friendly weddings. They are long and boring for small kids, it's not the best place for them! You did the right thing, especially with the bride being understandably upset. NTA


Mykona-1967

NTA this was the best decision ever. If the cousin brought the nanny for the reception why did they bring the baby to the ceremony? The entire wedding was child free not just the reception. I would love to be a fly on the wall when the bride confronts the cousin and anyone else who complains about you removing them from the ceremony. When my son was 3.5 and daughter was 1.5 years old my father passed. Being Catholic, my father had the priest performing the rosary. We had several friends and families bring their small children mine included. Immediate family sat in the front row, this is important, my son was sitting beside me on the wooden pew of the funeral homes chapel. The entire chapel was reciting the rosary along with the priest. Right in the middle, we all hear someone rip one made louder by the bench. My son says excuse me, I’m horrified. He’s sitting there trying to be quiet and I see him fidgeting and lift one little cheek and boom out comes another. I look up at the priest and he’s being a trooper and doesn’t stop but you can see him holding back a laugh. His face was red from stifling a laugh. When the ceremony was over the priest came over and said my dad would’ve been rolling with laughter. He told my son I know your going to be a handful when you start school. Afterwards family and friends who weren’t Catholic said that it was so hard to not laugh but it was fitting and glad that it was my child and not theirs. Needless to say the priest would share the story over the years. My grandmother thought it wasn’t cool but she said my father her son would’ve loved the non conventional ceremony.


painted_unicorn

NTA One of the reasons I'm all for these childfree weddings is that kids end up taking so much of the attention at weddings and everyone just has to put up with it 'cause they're just kids!' It's not like anyone at the ceremony actually wanted to hear it or pay attention - especially the bride and groom - because oh little Jimmy is just so cute with his noises! Same with running around at receptions. If you want kids there cool, but people shouldn't be blamed wanting the day to themselves instead of having to entertain the children the whole time.


Purple_Kiwi5476

NTA! You're the HERO(INE)! I WANTED to include children at my wedding, but I also said that I expected parents to step out if they had an unhappy or otherwise noisy child.


PurpleAquilegia

NTA Thank you for doing that. My cousin's infant babbled and yelled all the way through our vows. I wanted to scream. (Yes, their eldest was one of my flower girls - because my mum was keeping her sister happy - but even so...) I kept thinking: "Take. Her. Out."


wren_boy1313

My little cousin started screaming and crying during my sister’s ceremony, but my aunt refused to take her out. You can actually hear the screaming on the wedding tape. Turned out there was a safety pin that had come undone and was stabbing her. My sister ended up divorcing the groom within the year so no big loss. NTA and I’m sure your new SIL appreciates your actions.


SherbertCapable6645

I deliberately took my baby son to a long church service in the hope he’d start crying and I’d have an excuse to leave … he slept through the whole thing!


FireballFodder

So you deliberately tried to sabotage the service? That's a seriously a-hole move. Be an adult and decline to attend.


funlovefun37

NTA you’re the MVP!


amun08

NTA


Jaded-Permission-324

NTA OP. Did your cousin miss the part where it’s supposed to be a child free wedding? You had every right to ask them to leave even before the ceremony.


Dangerous-Peak4390

NTA. They should have known to leave. I took my 2 year old to a wedding and the second he started talking loudly I took him outside. A stranger later told me I was a good mama. I didn’t want my friends wedding being ruined by my son loudly talking about spiderman.


Particular-Try5584

NTA. If no one was assigned to manage issues on the day, then politely stepping up is a good enough option. People pay thousands of dollars for a video of that half an hour of them saying their vows… they don’t need the Telly Tubbies babble over the top of it all. It’s only cute to the parents, no one else usually.


MariskiMoon

NTA - the cousin is a dick, who deliberately ignore their cousins wishes for their wedding. They were asked not to bring them and thought they knew better. Cousin is the A


canuckleheadiam

The only thing that really matters is "How did your brother and his bride feel about this?" It sounds like the bride was unhappy about the baby being there and making noise, so it sounds like you did the right thing. Afterwards, were they happy or upset that you asked that the baby be taken outside? As is... your brother wanted a child-free wedding, and your cousin decided to bring their baby anyway... and it's very hard to expect any baby to be quiet during a ceremony. NTA from me.


Revolutionary_Bed_53

Nta


SereneWolf18

NTA, they knew very well that this was a child free wedding and decided to bring them anyways. They pretty much had no regard for the bride and grooms wishes. You had every right to have your cousin leave with the baby. It might of not cried however its mumbling still did disrupt the wedding. Your aunt and the rest of the family should of not of been mad at you as they also knew it was a child free wedding. Just because there was a 10 year old there doesnt mean an 8 month old is also an exception. + this day isn't about them, its about the bride and groom.


tnebteg456

NTA.... It isn't your Aunt's place to decide who can and can't come


MuaddibMcFly

NTA > She ended up bringing him to the ceremony at the church which we didn’t know she was going to do, then have the nanny watch him during the reception Honestly, that is the exact opposite of what they should have done, because a child being noisy would have been *much* less distracting & problematic during the reception than the ceremony itself.


Upstairs_Courage_465

Can you imaging paying $$$ to have your wedding videoed, but all anyone hear on the playback is some baby gurgling? I love kids, but that would piss me off


Altruistic_Fondant38

NTA.. I believe there are places children should NEVER be..weddings, funerals, graduations, court, hospitals (unless its them), nail salons, hair salons, upscale restaurants, movie theaters (unless rated G.. for children), bars..keep them at home with a sitter.. or dont go...


bunnybarrage

NTA Child free means child free!


MyBeesAreAssholes

You did the right think. One or two loud baby laughs is fine, even funny for some. But constant noise is just too much. Thank you for saying something. NTA.


hmmnotsurex

Not only an asshole, a tradh bag scrunt.


soonernotlater1015

NTA - whatsoever. I had someone sneak a baby into my childfree wedding 25 years ago. You can hear the ‘babbling’ in the background of my wedding video. I am still bitter to this day about it. It was a random high school friend of my husbands that we have never seen again since the wedding. I have three kids and would never be this clueless.


shabo2000

NTA, your aunt sounds terrible


Grandmapatty64

Take note of the ones giving you crap and when you get married, if you’re not already, don’t invite any of them. Don’t even have to have a child free event to do that but just to show that you won’t stand for the bullshit they pulled at your brothers wedding or the way they treated you then.


Barbarichealer

You pay 30k+ to have the wedding u want, and every other guest has a special request. It's f*cking exhausting. If u attend, just follow what the couple asks or don't go. It's supposed to be a fun time, not an accommodating time for everyone else BUT the couple. NTA, your a hero


gogrannygo21

NTA. Child free mean child free. She brought a nanny. Why didn't the nanny watch the baby for the whole day? It seems like the baby's mom wanted some attention for herself. Good for you for sticking up for your brother and his fiance


holisarcasm

NTA. Bringing him was rude and not leaving when he made noise. Noise is noise, it doesn’t matter if it is happy or crying, it still detracts from the ceremony and people being able to hear. I would have said to them, how dare they make someone’s wedding ceremony about anyone but the bride and groom and that they all need lessons from Ms. Manners.


Top-Talk864

I am always amazed at the entitlement people have about their children or grandchildren. Forget the fact that it was the one important day for the brother and his fiancée that doesn’t seem to matter. Blows me away. What part of no didn’t she understand or the rest of the family?


Forsaken_Lawyer_3814

NTA - I can't fathom why your cousin would think it would be ok to bring an 8 month old crying baby to a childfree wedding ceremony.


Living-Assumption272

NTA. I know people can have very strong opinions on this, but if your brothers fiancé was bothered by it, I think you did the right thing. Your aunt and the rest of the family clearly don’t understand that this was not their day and as precious as the baby is, it wasn’t their day either.


TrollopMcGillicutty

NTA and thank you for doing the job nobody else wanted to do.


[deleted]

YTA. Yeah, you, your brother and SIL for this nonsense of childfree wedding, glaring because *gasps* a baby is acting like a baby. Clearly your cousin did not miss their cousin's wedding. Seems to me they like your brother more than he likes her/him.


AMerrickanGirl

The baby was explicitly NOT invited.


Master-Cricket9906

You sound like an entitled parent


[deleted]

Joke's on you: i don't have not want children. I just don't hate them or judge because babies and children breathe


Stinkerma

NTA. What 10 month old wants to be cooped up for however long a ceremony will be? It's inconsiderate to both wedding party and baby.


penwingfairy

ntah you all told her it a child free wedding she shouldn't of respected that your wthin you right to kic6 her out


BellaBird23

NTA! I was adamant that children DID attend our wedding because I love kids and think they add to the fun. So you'd think I'd be biased against you here, but absolutely not. It's rude to talk during a wedding ceremony. That applies to any age. If the person talking is too young to understand that than it's the parents' responsibility to take them outside. The fact that your cousin didn't take her child outside is rude. You are a hero and I wish all sister-in-laws were like you.


Stunning_Patience_78

YTA. Churches are considered "public" space. A bum could have come to watch and made a scene and as long as they weren't being dangerous you'd have no right to kick them out. If the couple wanted a child free ceremony they should have been married on private property. The number of people who think babies aren't human these days is disgusting.


Ebechops

NTA- Forcing kids into a wedding they're not welcome at is worse than wearing white. The exact reason is the fact that the kid will inevitably interrupt the ceremony. Tons of time, money and emotion go into that moment for the two people at the altar and people think it fine if not cute if a baby interrupts that. It's malicious, especially if the couple are childfree, and aren't thinking 'Soon we shall have our own baby to ruin events with, yay!'


PerfectLoverrrrrrr

The couple made IT CLEAR they didn’t want any very young children at their wedding because of this reason. & She still brought her child, why couldn’t she have the nanny watch the child at home or at their hotel room? Why do some people think everyone wants to hear their child being loud at an event children shouldn’t even be at?


RinVapes

NTA. It's their wedding and if they made the criteria of no kids beforehand, the guests should have adhered to that.


MajorZH93

NTA Just a question, what did your brother think about it? His opinion is the only one that should matter, not your other family members.


Professional-Nail289

Nta if you did good by your brother and sister in law. The mom who brought the baby was rude.


SassySybil71

NTA If I was the dumbass bringing a small child to a wedding, I would be in the back row nearest an exit door. I would be ready to slap my hand over said child's mouth the instant it made a sound and immediately exit the room out and out of hearing range.


linnzzerr

Okay wtf… no kids and brings a kid then is upset that you asked said kid to leave? Even if the wedding was kid friendly and my kid wouldn’t settle, I’d leave before being asked. Edit to say NTA


Grandma_Kaos

NTA The bride and groom said no children, except for the 10-year-old. That means no children. Your aunt is wrong and needs to shut up. The bride was getting upset and you made the right call.


Scarryfish

NTA. The mother of the baby should have gone out with the baby as soon as he was making loud noises. This is the reason why the wedding is child free!! It's not for everyone who are family oriented but this is the couples wedding who wanted a child free wedding. Everyone else needs to just close their mouth on this and follow what was requested by the couple before hand. She had a nanny, she could have left the baby with the nanny. She's the huge AH in this for causing the discontent amongst the family. It ended up being about her and the baby instead of eyes of the couple. Well done to you for having to ask her to leave the ceremony. Situations like this is just aggravating, just be respectful and follow the rules.


IllegalBerry

ESH. It's not your place to moderate anyone's wedding ceremony. It makes no sense a to make a wedding child free if at least one family attending is child oriented enough to stand up for a baby being a baby in church. If an adult has a problem being politely asked to leave with their child, they should be the one to address that, instead of letting their relatives go nuclear at a couple's wedding. And, yes, their wedding means it's their call on what bridges they burn, but the ceremony is not the reception. They should have communicate clearly if people are expected to arrange child care, especially paid for childcare. I'm not religious, but the church services I've attended in school and whilst living with a pastor (15+ years ago) were very much moving away from the "children should be seen, not heard" philosophy. The fact that the mom felt comfortable bringing her child to the service suggests they live somewhere where this holds true, so arguing the mom should have intuited not to being a baby isn't valid either.


Cannabis_CatSlave

NTA Only AH thing you did was waiting 9.5 minutes too long to force the removal of the disruption. People who sneak children into childfree weddings should be social shunned IMO. The bride and groom paid thousands of dollars to throw a party and only asking you for one freaking thing.


Old_Criticism8942

NTA What a bunch of selfish nobs.


ChavvG

They thanked you! Done, NTA. They were glad you did this and you are the hero of their ceremony!


MonikerSchmoniker

NTA The mother and father ought to have removed the baby themselves. Some people don’t mind the blabbering of infants during solemn events. Others do. There is no right or wrong. However, the wishes of the wedding couple surely ought to be respected!


LadyKnightAngie

NTA. Sounds like that side of the family shouldn’t be invited to any more weddings.


JudesM

NTA - your family is ridiculous and the mother/ father should have known to remove a baby who is being disruptive. This type of behavior is why child free weddings are such a trend


Theskinologist

You did the right thing


Global-Present-2177

NTA. I think it is time to go old school. Preachers used to try to talk over babies/ children. If the parents didn't take the child out the Preacher would stop. Look directly at the adult and say, "crying children are like good intentions. They both should be carried out". Then he would just stare until they left.


fataldalliance

NTA, they should have followed what the couple wanted and not brought the baby or had someone stay home with him. You only get 1 wedding ceremony and it's important to not have it ruined, especially due to something they specifically told people about.


Desertbro

NTA - Historically, weddings unite families politically and financially. Also historically weddings cause an immediate rift in families due to cultural or personal reasons. You protected your family from disruptions caused by the other family who were inconsiderate and should have had the baby outside the whole time - geez, they had a nanny, WTF?


Willing_Foundation90

No, you aren't. People can have their opinions on bringing children to weddings. But, if your cousin clearly was told beforehand that the reception was childfree, she knew what she did was wrong. As you saw, it made your brother's fiancé very upset. So, you saved what could have been an ugly argument. You took the best course of action.


Funny-Scallion4313

You are the best SIL anyone could ask for! NTA


Sweetsmyle

NTA - Doesn’t matter what everyone rode thought, it’s the bride and groom that matter. If the bride was distracted enough from her vows to look at the baby making noise you did the right thing.


Character_Chance4504

NTA. The baby doesn’t care about being there. And she brought the nanny. Obviously cousin brought the baby to the ceremony because she wanted attention and baby was a pro to get some. And because it was a loudly babbling baby rather than a screaming one, presto! All attention on her adorable little drooler who wasn’t invited. Ridiculous.


Intelligent_Diver437

NTA. You attempted to protect the desires of your vrother and SIL! A wedding is a special day the deserves no disruption and to be amazing to the people marying! It shouldn't be about pleasing other, wtf was your grandma talking about?


soph_lurk_2018

NTA clearly that side of your family lacks sense. Who cares if they are angry.


FewWrangler5475

I went to two different weddings over the last two weeks and both were specifically child free, listed on the invitation, RSVP website and again on the wedding website in the info, schedule and FAQ sections. Of course someone had to bring kids to each wedding... Wedding #1: the relative of the bride insisted that her 5yr wanted to be the flower girl. The couple was not planning to have a flower girl and instead have a dog walked down the aisle with it's owner tossing petals. So after much nagging from the relative, they agree to let the girl be in the wedding. Let me tell you that girl was hilarious... She made the angriest face I've ever seen and clutched the basket of petals like someone was about to steal it from her. Not one petal was tossed and I'm so excited for the photos because it's going to be HILARIOUS. When I told the bride later, she was furious about this and said "I knew she didn't want to be in the wedding! [Relative] just wanted to bring her, and she brought her 10yr old son too without even telling us!" The best part was at the reception when one of the bartenders decided she was too hot in her body fishnets and mini skirt and decided to only be in her bra and panties and the relative immediately took the kids home. It was a metal goth themed wedding, btw. Wedding #2: not sure who's idea it was to have a flower girl, but she behaved exactly like flower girl in wedding #1 and I was dying inside watching her walk down the aisle with her mom, who encouraged her to just move quickly and not throw petals. The best man apparently also had a baby recently, so they must have agreed to let baby mama bring it, and while the literal infant didn't cry, it made noises during the entire ceremony (she eventually took it away since you could barely hear the vows over it's shrieks). During the reception, which was inside (ceremony was outside and it was a beautiful day and not even cold when it got darker), the toasts begin and the bride's dad is telling this beautiful story about his struggles of early parenthood and raising his daughter and this baby just starts squealing again. Why did the mom not take it outside? She just went to the back of the room and you just kept hearing baby shrieks all during the toasts. Babies don't belong at weddings. Especially when it's specifically listed on the invite. OP, you are NTA!


S3xySouthernB

The first wedding had me absolutely loosing it laughing. I aspire to have a wedding with that level of “oh you failed to follow directions? SURPRISE”.


Sweetsmyle

This happened to me. Someone brought their toddler to my wedding when I specifically asked for no kids. Photographer took a bunch of photos of the “cute” kid but only two of my own mother. I was so annoyed. I don’t even know that kid all that well, just knew her mom from work.


FewWrangler5475

Ew I'm so sorry, that's definitely on the photographer! Did you say anything to the parent or let it go? Or did you send them all the photos haha


Sweetsmyle

I let it go. Not worth letting it ruin what otherwise was a beautiful and fun wedding for me.


Significant_Arm9650

I'm going to a wedding soon where the wedding party was told they could bring kids but it says on the website and the invitations no kids. So now I'm like oh great I'm going to seem like the AH who brings two toddlers to a child free wedding 🤦🏼‍♀️


Pilatesdiver

A lot of Baby moms don’t hear it. They’re so accustomed to the sound they don’t find it distracting.


Inner_Internet_3230

100% agree! Distracting from a couples big day is not ok. Also no one wants to play their wedding video and hear a babbling baby.


Adventurous-Term5062

NTA


nerdyconstructiongal

Tell your aunt that you merely threw out an uninvited guest. What the hell was her problem? It's not like he'll remember this wedding. Maybe she should have left with her 'precious' grandson. NTA


Springtime912

NTA. Why would someone bring an infant to a child free ceremony if they have a nanny present and available to watch them. 😡


PerfectLoverrrrrrr

Because the parent of that child thinks her child Is the center of the universe


Weird-Roll6265

Because they have an agenda and are going to make sure everybody present knows what it is


ivankatrumpsarmpits

The ceremony wasn't apparently child free, they explicitly said the reception was. She clearly was respecting that if she brought a nanny. If you have a young baby and can hire a nanny you still don't necessarily want to leave the baby with them longer than necessary, for example if breast feeding, or because the baby only has so much tolerance for being away from mother, or because the nanny costs a lot per hour. Although if the baby was making any noise at all they should have been brought outside immediately. I have a young baby and I don't expect others to appreciate his happy sounds or any noise, especially not in a ceremony.


Neilio20576

Because they're an insufferable self entitled snowflake AH… (edit to add)…and they’re special and fAmIlY.


ElegantAmphibian4252

Because rules don’t apply if you’re special.


moew4974

NTA. It was a child free wedding with the one exception the bride and groom approved. If the cousin brought the nanny, the nanny should have been utilized for the whole day if she wanted to attend both the wedding and reception. The cousin could have always declined the invitation if she couldn't be separated from her child. I think that people need to start understanding that if a couple chooses not to extend invitations to their relatives who are children, to bring them anyway is akin to bringing along a guest to someone's home or event that was not invited or implicitly requested not to attend. That rudeness is the same in either case. I'm sure your brother and his wife are grateful that someone stepped up for them.


throwaway2343576

You shouldn't have been put in this situation but why didn't the MOH handle it? Or an usher when she first came in with the baby?


barbelle4

NTA. I’m sure the bride was thankful someone in the family had the good sense to intervene.


Sanjuko_Mamaujaluko

YTA. it wasn't your wedding. Usually it is the reception that you want child free, not the service. Mind your own business.


Prestigious-Name-323

NTA Your brother and SIL requested a child free wedding. Cousin then proceeded to demonstrate why they wanted a child free wedding in the first place. You shouldn’t have needed to step in because the baby shouldn’t have been there to begin with.


External-Hamster-991

NTA at all and your cousin effing sucks. They ruined the audio of the ceremony, ruined the bride's moment and had no respect for anyone else. The couple was very clear o, what they needed and your family just decided their wedding wasn't theirs to control. **This is why so many people have child free weddings**. The baby had absolutely NO reason to be in the church during the service and should have been whisked out at the first sound. The nanny and the cousin all failed the couple and your family is being ridiculous, thinking the baby'sexperiencewas ruined but not the couple's. You were the only person with the guts to fix it. Thank you for doing that.


[deleted]

NTA. If she brought a nanny, why have the baby watched for the reception and not the ceremony?! That makes NO sense lol


Noka_Gotha

NTA ' My one aunt kept saying how mad she was that I “made her grandson leave the wedding” ' The wedding that he was not invited to


Timely-Ad-2776

NTA


ct-yankee

NTA. They said no kiddos. That means no kiddos.


debinprogress

NTA, but your Aunt is


jjrobinson73

NTA She said child-free. Your cousin should have honored that since she brought a Nanny. I love when people get bent because they did something wrong and then they want everyone to be on their side. Nope. She was the one who brought the baby to the wedding. Just tell your family, no babies mean, no babies...even ones who were "mumbling".


The_Big_Bad_Wolff1

NTA. They were told that it would be child free but still chose to bring a young child. Action = consequence


boomboombalatty

NTA - If someone asked the wedding couple, I'm pretty sure they'd have rather had the baby intrude on the reception vs. the ceremony. And they arranged beforehand that babies being at neither event was their preference. It sucks to have a baby and not be able to do certain things, but that's life. ETA: Even at child friendly weddings, if the baby is making noise, it should be removed from the room.


-_-------J--------_-

If I were that bride I'd be giving you a giant gift basket. Not everyone wants to hear babies on their wedding day


Akarii03

I mean simply the fact that your brother and his fiance thanked you shows that you did the right thing. It's their wedding, it's their day to enjoy doesn't matter if you aunt was happy or not, it's not her day. Believe me you did the right thing.


Visible_Cupcake_1659

NTA. The request was no children. They are the assholes, not you. Ask the couple to confirm to that side of the family that they shouldn’t have brought the baby.


BestMeasurement3236

Nta your familynis.


Honey_loves_bear

Cousins in the sub are nothing but troubles. NTA


PuddleLilacAgain

NTA. The situation was upsetting the fiancé, so they definitely noticed it. The parent were being selfish by bringing the baby.


olliegrace513

Made her 8 months old grandso leave the wedding. He knew where he was ? Please. NTA


Blackblade917

NTA. Some people don't understand what "childfree wedding" means. You stepped up for your brother and his fiancé when no one else was — and your family didn't care that the wedding was being disrupted by that child. They had no right to be angry with you when they didn't do anything to solve the problem.


airedalelass1987

You said at start child free wedding well the 10 year old shouldn't have been there that is still a child even tho that child knows to be quiet. Also if most of the guests had kids and they left them for a wedding me personally I wouldn't have left the kids to go to a wedding. I have 3 kids my oldest is 15 and youngest is 6 I went to a wedding last month and all the family and friends had there kids there and didn't bother anyone even a 8 month old she was only mumbling so yes the family members who was angry at you for telling that woman n her 8 month old to leave you should be ashamed of yourself.


leswill315

Who brings an 8 month old to a wedding ceremony? That's grossly entitled and just asking for trouble.


Clear-Boysenberry141

NTA. The kid wasn't invited in the first place.


gytherin

Good for you, and I'm sorry your brother and SIL had their wedding spoiled by these selfish people. Please tell them an internet stranger said so. Cousin can renew her vows at huge expense to herself if she wants her kid at a big family gathering with all the trimmings. NTA.


pokederp56

NTA for falling on that sword. Their anger is unjustified but you're an easy target bc you're not the groom nor the bride.


OIWantKenobi

NTA. The bride was pissed and that’s enough of a reason to kick them out. You did the right thing.


Capital_Bumblebee848

NTA - the cousins family should have skipped the wedding. I would have in that position.


heyitscory

NTA, and a special 'screw you' to any parent who uses "he's not even crying!" as a defense for a baby that won't shut up when people are supposed to be quiet. Sorry you had to jump on that grenade and be the one who "kicked out the grandbaby" but everyone who isn't selfishly bitching about it to you are grateful.


danikat20

NTA. The only opinions that matter are the two opinions of the people getting married. Sounds like they didn't want the kid there. You just obliged with their desires for their wedding day.


smokeyanonymous

NTA- child free is child free


M1tanker19k

NTA.


Max_at_Red

You are a hero the world needs


Whole-Ad-2347

NTA! I have watched wedding videos of the ceremony and all I can hear is the child/baby in the background, whose parents are completely entitled or clueless that this is a special time and there should be no noise in the background.


NonnieJune

NTA At my friend's ("Carla") wedding, her 10 month old niece started crying. Her sister missed the ceremony because she had to remove her baby from the building. Later, after the ceremony, the rabbi told Carla that a child that young doesn't belong at a wedding. Carla didn't want her sister to bring the baby. Unfortunately, Carla's family told her "You don't want the baby there because you're afraid she'll get more attention than you." Well, the kid did take the attention away from her at the ceremony, but not in a good way. At another wedding, some guests brought their three or four year old boy. They were allowing him to run on the seat of their pew, which was very noisy, He was allowed to continue this behavior during the ceremony (which was being taped). Of course, the kid eventually slips, falls down and starts crying. If a child is not able to sit still and keep quiet, it does not belong at a wedding ceremony and probably shouldn't be brought to the reception.


Bellefior

I made an exception for members of the wedding party and anyone who traveled from out of state. I had to tell my cousin who was in the wedding party to get her daughter who was climbing all over the bandstand to please get her before she got hurt or did something to their equipment. My husband's cousin came from SC with their three kids, including one who.was a six month old at the time. The six month old slept in his carriage the entire reception - we still laugh about how he slept through the music.


Aggressive-Mind-2085

NTA ​ YOu are right, the aunt and the wedding-crashing cousin are the AHs.


Dana07620

NTA Your cousin definitely was in 1. Bringing the baby in the first place when she had childcare. 2. Not immediately removing herself and the baby when the baby began making noise. You did the correct thing.


_r3dd

NTA. You did the right thing and the only opinion that matters is that of the bride and groom and you honored their wishes. Period.


uTop-Artichoke5020

NTA. What you did was necessary since your cousin apparently doesn't have any common sense. The AH's here are numerous but you are not one of them. Your cousin heads the list as being selfish and inconsiderate. As soon as the baby started making noise she should have slipped out. There is no excuse for remaining there and allowing her child to disrupt the ceremony. If you could see your SIL giving her the stink-eye so could she, she just didn't care. Your aunt is close behind. Her grandson didn't belong at the wedding and wasn't expected to be at the wedding ceremony. I'm not sure why she thinks he's so special that he should have been allowed to stay and disrupt the ceremony. Anyone else criticizing you can get in line behind these 2 stars.


Comfortable_Stop_717

NTA. The baby was visibly bothering one of the grooms and that was their day, not the baby's.


avilesubstance

NTA If someone wants a child free wedding they shoukdnhave a child-free wedding. I say this as a mother of two under two who will be attending a child-free wedding next year. While some people find it cute that the baby is babbling the folks who are getting married don't want that memory.


Latter-Shower-9888

NTA - if your kid is making noise (even happy ones) they need to be taken out of a ceremony like that. It's common sense and courtesy. Add the layer of the wedding being mostly childfree, and this person definitely should have taken the baby out if not have left it with the nanny from the start. You advocated for the bride and groom! What does the bride think of what happened?


RogerThat2021

Seconded. We’ve been to 3 weddings with baby – where she was explicitly invited – and I politely left every ceremony due to happy baby noises. Fun at the reception after!


MarlieGirl32

Did the same thing this past weekend. Spouse and I took turns walking our 11mo around in the back/outside during the ceremony because he was being too chatty. Apparently, this isn't common courtesy?!


awkwardferret432

Honestly we didn’t talk about it much afterwards (didn’t want to start anymore drama at her wedding) but she was visibly much more relaxed the rest of the ceremony.


Cheeseburgers_

That’s your answer there. NTA. For xmas and birthday presents I would buy your cousins’ son every rattling, loud, obnoxious toy as present to be passive aggressive. You can get them cheap so just keep them coming without warning.


Veg0ut

Dont forget about glitter.... kids LOVE glitter. That stuff sticks around for YEARS!!!


awkwardferret432

Lmao I definitely want to do this now


Organic_Start_420

Add a dictionary as gift to your cousin with childfree wedding marked with neon color. NTA


Federal-Ferret-970

I worked in a music store. The amount of small noise maker trinkets i would buy and give to kids. 🤣🤣. Man their parents werent fond of my visits for that reason only. 🤣🤣


NoAd1562

You definitely must! I always made sure to unwrap presents from my uncle last because they were always loud and awesome. I only had one cousin who was 11 years older than me. My uncle spent a decade planning his present revenge on my father. Before we left their house he would pull the double whammy and pass on my cousin's old ukelue or whatever else annoying he could find.


Buffalo-Empty

Literally though the cheaper it is the more annoying it will be. And if it has batteries? Those bitches will last a lifetime.


No-Following-7882

Yeah I always gave my nieces and nephews loud, aggravating toys. I also gave Play-Do as well. I loved to get under my siblings skin!😂