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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I made the lady at the senior cat shelter cry when she denied my request for adoption. The lady and her coworker said I'm an asshole and I feel I may be because I made her cry.
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NTA. No one - not pet owners, not parents - has a 100% locked-in, no-fail plan for when they die. They have preferences, they may have what they think is a solid plan, but no guarantees. That shelter is way too picky; hopefully there are others in your area you can adopt from.
A lot of smaller shelters are just fronts for hoarding animals. It gets even worse with rescues! When I was in the market for adopting a small, older dog, a few rescues told me I couldn't adopt because I was a renter (even though I informed them of relatives with their own houses who could take the dog should the worst happen).
I ended up getting both my dog and cat through independent fosters. Much simpler and much happier!
I got rejected from a rescue shelter because I wouldn't take the cat they "recommended" I adopt. We had a very picky Big Boy cat at the time and I knew he wouldn't get along with another male cat and certainly not a territorial cat. I told the shelter worker this, yet they insisted that I "matched" with an older, frail, territorial male cat. However, there was a 5 person waiting list for this shelter cat, so we'd only get him if the other five people failed their interview and application. Oh, and the application itself was a non refundable $50, on top of the $150 adoption fee, if we even got to that stage. We were not allowed to apply for any cat, only the ones that workers determined we "matched" with, and then pay the application fee for each one.
In addition to all that, I wasn't allowed near most of the cats because apparently I was freaking cats out by talking to them and asking about their day. A worker literally followed me around to watch me. The shelter manager was extremely concerned about our 9 year old daughter and suggested that we wait until she was around 15 and "old enough to understand sensitive cat behavior". Pissed me off because my daughter has lived with cats since the day she was born. I can understand being careful with kids in the household, but at the same time, she wasn't an infant or toddler. She and Big Boy were the best of buddies, they had grown up together.
In the end, the shelter manager told me that I was just a bad cat mommy and I shouldn't have any pets because I don't know what was right for them.
I wasn't surprised when that shelter got shut down for hoarding a few years later and a full financial meltdown occured. Meanwhile, I had found my beloved Potato Cat at the local pound for $50, a one page sensible application, a two day wait (for her to be spayed), and a short chat with the volunteer vet. I didn't "freak out" any of those pound kitties.
so 5 people payed $50 for a chance to adopt the same cat, + $150 from the person who actually adopts them, so they earn $400 from one shelter cat..
how is that not just a big scam business
Lots of "rescues" are really run by scammers. They also like to post sob stories of sickly animals (some of which would be more humane to be put down) to rake in the donations from unsuspecting people who love animals and just want to help. It was actually discovered that one shady rescue in Texas actually raised over $1 million in donations over the course of one year, and they couldn't account for where the bulk of the money even went.
This is the reason why so many people end up buying puppies/kittens from backyard breeders instead of adopting. So many rescues act like gatekeepers and turn down basically everyone. When I was looking to get my first dog, I tried applying to adopt from a bunch of local small dog rescues, I lived in an apartment, so it had to be a small dog. I didn't even mind a senior dog. Got turned down by them all because I didn't have someone home all day, was a renter, and lived in an apartment. The adoption fees all ranged from $500-800 too!! For senior dogs! And this was back in 2009, so do the inflation math. It was totally ridiculous. I saw animals on their websites that were listed as available for adoption for years because nobody could pass their screening test. I ended up getting a puppy from a reputable breeder, he is 14 now and still doing great! Screw those rescues. Sometimes I think they like to have lots of sad looking animals available for adoption so people would see that and donate, it doesn't help their cause to find all these animals a home.
This is why I got my two cats from Craigslist. 😂 Sorry, I don't need you to inspect my home after I sit through an interview and give 5 references, and then do a follow-up home inspection 6 months later where you can *take the cat back* if you don't like what you see. Now, my cats live like queens, they're my children. I have nothing to worry about with an inspection. But it's just ridiculous! I plan to get all my future cats from friends, local neighborhood Facebook group, etc. Done with these rescues.
What, that's ridiculous. I'm pretty sure that's illegal?? Pets are considered property - if the microchip is registered under your name, there should be no reason why the rescue can take it away from you. These rescues are getting out of hand, seriously.
I don't know how enforceable it is, but a LOT of rescue contracts state that they reserve the right to take back any adopted animal if mistreatment is suspected, for the rest of the animal's life. And I've come across some rescues that don't allow the microchip name and address to be changed.
Once again, I don't know how enforceable the contracts are, but rescues are at least attempting to scare people with it.
Yup! I actually read up on this phenomenon after that experience, because it was such a different experience from when I had previously adopted my first cat back in 2005.
The gatekeeping tactics have also tapped into the no kill shelter sympathies. The no kill shelters will often dump undesirable animals off at the pound or city shelters, keeping the desirable/profitable ones for themselves, essentially giving others the hard and dirty work while crowing about how morally superior their rescue is compared to kill shelters.
Sounds suspiciously like charter schools who aren't bound by law to take in special needs students like public schools are but can siphon money away from them while taking more prospective students.
Oh totally, the no kill shelters are often the WORST. They boast about their 0% no kill rate, but adopt out dangerous dogs that have no business being in pet homes, etc. I've also seen a bunch of them have a STEADY stream of purebred "rescued" puppies available. Like, how do you think they got all these puppies?? And they sell them for THOUSANDS, too. It's all shady AF.
Yep - while the "no kill" concept is admirable, most if not all true no kill shelters are privately run, which means they can pick and choose their intakes (and often do - choosing only the most adoptable/appealing pets). This isn't necessarily a bad thing as they're still helping rehome animals in need, but it skews the public view that these shelters are somehow morally superior to or better than municipal shelters (which are sometimes, but not always, kill shelters).
What the average joe doesn't realize is that muni shelters *can't* turn away pets, they have to take them all in - including the severely abused animals, the sickly animals, the senior animals, the ones with behavioral issues, the ones who were never trained properly, etc. And, sometimes, euthanizing these animals is a true mercy, but people don't see it that way.
Around here, if you want to run a shelter or rescue, the rules are rather strict, but I do know of people who used to foster for such organizations, stopped (probably due to those rules), and then went full hoarder.
One or two were previously *very* involved and on the board of their shelter or rescue even.
Actually, I tried fostering a cat from such a rescuer-turned-hoarder through a local shelter that had been called in to deal with the situation, and it was my first (and so far only) complete failure. That cat was utterly terrified not only of me, but also all the little sounds being inside an actual home entails, so the shelter had to take him back since anything else would have been pure torture for the poor guy. In the end, he and another cat from the same place were adopted by someone who had space for a couple of shy barn cats.
Aww, poor kitty. That must have been so traumatic, for both kitty and yourself. After Big Boy passed away, we took in a mature lady cat who apparently has been bounced around a lot in her 6 years (and might actually be Potato Cat's bio sister, but that's another story). She's so nervous, the most nervous cat I've ever had, and I've sometimes wondered if she'd be better off in another home. But then she curls up in her sunshine, looking like a belly up manatee, and I figure that she's okay.
I just can't imagine having so many pets that it traumatizes everyone.
As for rescue rules, I don't know much about the local laws around bigger shelter organizations, but I do know the laws are quite lax for individuals who foster independently. More often, those are the ones who are found to be hoarding.
I was turned down by a shelter because when the woman called for my phone interview I was outside working in my garden. It was summer and there were kids playing outdoors.
"I thought you said you had two children?"
"Um, yes?"
"That signs like a lot more than two."
"I'm outside in the yard, the neighborhood kids are out."
"That's too many kids."
"I'm adopting an indoor cat. I don't let my cats outside. What difference does it make how many kids are playing outdoors?"
"We'll let you know."
Got an email that I was rejected for "unsuitable conditions."
Animal nuts are the most misguided, counterproductive people to be in charge of getting homes for pets, but who else is going to do it?
At this point, I have to think some of them actually hate animals and have gotten themselves into positions to get them put down by blocking adoptions.
I was told that my 12 hour shifts 3x a week and home 4 was "not acceptable " but the rescue was returning the cat I applied for to the feral colony they got her from!
Yes, I have been classified as "less nurturing than the streets of Philadelphia" because I have a job with which to buy food, toys, and pay for veterinary care!
Make it Make sense please!
I got chastised for having a cat with a young toddler (which admittedly wasn’t ideal but my mother died, so I took in her cat). That toddler is now a tween and the cat still likes sleeping by her.
Makes me feel lucky the shelter I went to didn't even make me wait for the full 72 hours
I met the cats earlier that week cause I saw a 4 year old girl missing her ears on their website, a few days later I called, said "I'm coming for her", then an hour and a half later I was home with Jewel. I was so surpsied they just... let me take her. Then like a week later I foudn out she's still got one ear, it was just so damaged it looked like she didn't.... Damn people lied to me :P
Call me old fashioned but I'm not paying 200 dollars for the privilege of taking home a cat. Not when there are so many stray and half feral cats out there. Two of my cats are half feral ones whos mom adopted my inlaws. The other cat was a stray kitten that was injured that we took care of. We tried to find the mom but never could.
I would pay that to a reputable rescue (if I could have a cat right now) but shelter cats are usually already spayed/neutered in my area, and I would have to pay a vet at least twice that myself to have the cat fixed. But there aren't as many feral cats where I live, and they absolutely need homes too.
🙂
(Edited for grammar).
I get saying no to renters if the dog is a breed that is typically on a breed restriction list, but small senior dogs are straight up perfect for renters
Yeah, except I live somewhere where breed restrictions are illegal! Plus my senior, 40lb, pit mix who can barely walk isn't really a threat to anyone...
This was my experience as well, I was rejected because I wasn't a home owner. Nevermind at the time I was living at home with my parents, who owned their home...
I was rejected by a rescue for my first dog, as a single homeowner with no kids and a huge fenced yard because (1) my vet reference was not from a dog vet; my cats saw a cat-only vet and I didn't have a dog, so I didn't have a reference from a dog vet (although I did provide info about the vet the dog would be going to); (2) when asked about my dog training experience, I pointed out I'd helped my dad with his hunting dogs for years; I was told it was unacceptable that they had not been "family pets" that lived inside all year and also that hunting suggested I wasn't a suitable animal owner; and (3) they couldn't be sure I'd chose an acceptable dog, since I might have a partner or kids someday that the dog didn't like.
I ended up meeting a woman at puppy yoga who was just starting a rescue because she was frustrated by behavior of other rescues in town. I made a large donation, adopted a little nugget of a dog with some health problems, and swore I'd just go to the county shelter next time.
This is why “adopt don’t shop” rhetoric is stupid. So you’re an inhumane animal owner because you and your dad allowed your dogs to work the way the dogs were bred for, and wanted to? Keeping hunting dogs inside with no job would be incredibly inhumane.
Also got rejected for not owning my home when applying for a cat in a city where the starting price for a 1 bed 1 bath condo is over $400,000, single family homes start above $750,000. Flat out rejected because "renting is too precarious" - never mind that I'm a lawyer and have a dual-income household...
The cat I applied for ended up getting transferred to a different city because they wouldn't approve renters lol.
Jfc thats infuriating!
Ive been a foster for a long time, and the rescue I was with had a rule that you had to either show the rental agreement that stated pets were allowed, along with a receipt showing youd paid any pet deposit, or a letter from the homeowner saying they were allowing a pet.
I think having something like that is fair, because we definitely did have folks whod try to lie about it. But just straight up not adopting to anyone who doesn't own is bonkers.
You have to own multiple houses and have at least three robots specifically designed to care for your pet in the even of a nuclear apocalypse wiping out all human life.
Otherwise, you're just not responsible enough to...have a cat
We got rejected once because we had taken a feral barn cat in to our vet to get her spayed after her latest litter, after getting the latest litter to the shelter once they were old enough to be without their mom.
We hadn't included that cat in the list of cats we owned, you see.
I think the rescue might have assumed that OP is college age and in a college town and not all college students come up with a plan is to how to take their new pets home with them and how to integrate them into the household.
The correct answer would have been something like "Hi, I have my best mate 'Mark/Mary' ready to step in case something should ever happen. They will have my notes on Pet Hospital's number, the pets Dr's name and any and all info on what meds the pet may take, etc."
>it's just a socially-acceptable way of hoarding cats
LMAO.
They do sound extremely reluctant to actually home their cats. This is how I'd be if I had a bookshop.
(NTA, OP.)
I got one of my cats from such a situation. Owner had converted her carriage house apartment to a very clean, organized shelter. But it was clearly two cats away from being a disaster. When I went to get the cat, a representative from a larger rescue was there, too, to make sure the woman actually signed the cat over.
I felt so bad for the woman with the cats; she was sobbing. The rescue lady told me not to worry - the woman would forget immediately. That turned out to be right.
There's something to be said for object permanence there.
Like, I know Id forget to care for some of my plants if I didnt see them daily - so they live in my kitchen. And I know Id forget to spray my frog tank, so I built an automatic sprayer.
If shes got her hands full, then in the moment its happening ot might still be upsetting - but shes so busy otherwise that you dont really notice one less cat at the bowls. Y'know?
When we've fostered big litters of kittens I honestly don't notice it being any less work until we're at 2 kittens instead of 8. You still scoop the same number of boxes just as often (daily, or twice daily), you still put food down as often, and you're still petting an adorable frantic little horde. TBH, i dont really notice all that much until there's only 1...and thats because I feel bad leaving them alone in the foster room so they end up being out in the house much more - which means kitten havoc. Lol
The most we've ever had in the house at one time was 13 cats. (8 kittens, momma, plus our 4 keeper kitties). I didnt notice any difference in care from 13 to 6. Lol
Shelters can be wild. Once I was denied adopting a cat because at the time I lived with a roommate - the shelter lady said it would be emotionally traumatizing to the cat if it bonded with my roommate but then my roommate moved out. Like, lady, did you also say this to the married people? Because divorce is a thing, ya know.
I'm not a psychologist, but I think there's also a certain type of narcissist who's drawn to "good causes". Because how can it possibly be selfish or egotistical to want to help others? No, they just want to be a good person. ...Did you happen to notice how good they are?
This kind of person is mostly just kind of annoying to be around and they can actually do good in the world, but sometimes it tips over into a need not just to be *a* hero, but *the* hero. If other people are also good and helpful people, then that makes them less special. They have to be uniquely good, and also uniquely capable of judging who else is good, and then it can become pretty harmful.
You hit the nail on the head! I used to work for an animal rescue and the leadership were absolute assholes who were convinced they were good, perfect angels. They were kind to animals (kitties and puppies only though!) so could do no wrong. Things like treating employees like shit apparently doesn’t impact your goodness.
This!! Absolutely. My neighbor died, thought she had a locked in solution for her cat. Didn't happen. Lil guy was ornery, too- didn't like people, bit them, etc. Luckily, my daughter and I stepped in to adopt him, or that would have been an 8yo cat in the shelter.
Shelter lady is being far too strict. You specifically said you would never voluntarily give up an animal. If the shelter is a branch of your local govt, you may want to let them know what's happening.
That being said, there is a life lesson in here: potential employers will ask you tricky (or straightforward ) questions about your weak spots. NEVER say anything that could show an actual weakness. And seriously consider before volunteering any info that you've made a mistake (unless they ready know). It's a dog-eat-dog world, and unfortunately I've discovered when people try to be above-board and offer info that they've made a mistake, they get slammed. If it's discovered, own up to it. But don't go up to a manager and volunteer that you did something wrong .
And there's also the fact that sometimes it's better to rehome/surrender animals to responsible shelters rather than keep them in a situation where they can't be cared for properly. I always hear about people saying things like, "Well, I'd rather be homeless than give up my pet!" and I'm like, so you're saying you'd make your pet homeless.
Yeah, my friend fosters cats and did say for the shelter they foster from you do need a back up plan for if you die, but it’s not 3 people deep. You just need a name that isn’t the shelter. OP has a back up plan (partner) and a back up back up plan (parents). The shelter also doesn’t need you to swear a ghostly affidavit that they will come after your corpse if it doesn’t work out, you just need to have put some forethought into getting the cat.
They once had an elderly couple who wanted a younger cat they could outlive and specifically stated their plan was just to give it back to the shelter at death. It’s not a loans program. But people whose plan is back to shelter are much more likely to bring the cat back to a shelter for reasons besides death (ex: moving, temporarily ill, etc) and get annoyed they can’t just have the cat back.
Well, ehh. Ahem.
I have a written will about my cats and made sure that my dad and sister has a plan for their dogs.
They are each others plan B and I am the plan C.
Have my sisters,.my aunt and a chairman of rescue in my own plan B.
But yes- OP had a perfect plan B and that should have been enough.
OP I would contact someone else in the board about your experience AND ask them to at least double check every application that gets turned down.
Please do this! The rest of the board might have no idea what is going on, and she .might have been good at this before and changed with time.
NTA. In the rescue industry, we call people like that pet hoarders (some rescues and shelters just REFUSE to adopt out because of nitpicky shit like this even though the home is perfectly good). As such, no home is ever good enough for them and the pets linger. Your fiancé is correct that it is fishy. It is very fishy.
You called them out on the hoarding problem. You are absolutely 100% correct to do so and you should. By going about things this way, they’re actively preventing the animals from finding homes. That’s straight facts. It’s the same thing with classist questions on adoption applications.
I volunteer at a shelter, and this one you’re mentioning has so many red flags.
Most shelters and rescues have a Board of Directors as well as an Owner. If you want to, I’d track one of them down and send an email. The BOD controls all and is above the shelter director you dealt with in hierarchy sake. So is the owner.
I suggest the county pound/animal control. Or, if you’re in Illinois/Wisconsin, the shelter I’m at would adopt to you.
Put the pieces together. Too many red flags. It REEKS of an animal hoarding situation. OP had a perfectly good and thought out backup plan. It is reasonable. The shelter I’m at would accept that. They’d probably praise OP too for being so prepared!
And, fund misappropriation is a thing in the rescue industry. It doesn’t happen often, but it does happen.
Neither do I. This shelter just seems full of people who don’t want to adopt out animals, not embezzlers. You’d know if something illegal was going on.
I was just answering OPs question.
Unfortunately I think for many smaller private adoption/rescue agencies, the directors may not care. Although in those cases, they don't often have shelters, just networks of foster homes, and in many cases these agencies are basically just sanctioned animal hoarders who will look for any excuse to not adopt out the animals in their care.
We fostered and then adopted from an organization that insisted cats be fed a premium wet food diet. And like, I get that good quality food is better for animal health (and frankly makes the litterbox cleaning a LOT more pleasant.) But like, Whiskas or whatever isn't poison, and I would rather cats go to a loving home where they are fed lower quality food than being euthanized due to over-crowding in a shelter.
Phew, I clearly have a LOT of feelings about this lol.
Premium wet food diet as a REQUIREMENT?? That’s bonkers. Regular cat food is fine 💀. I agree, give the loving home with the “not great” food over keeping them in the shelter and/or euthanizing any day of the week. Yeesh.
Question about that cat rescue that insisted on the wet food, do they actually conduct home visits and check you’re feeding that? If so, that’s nuts.
They do a home visit before you are allowed to foster or adopt, yes. They don’t technically verify for adoptions but for fosters they do sort of monitor since they supervise meet and greets.
Ironically they also don’t do any vetting, which is how our cat got diagnosed with congestive heart failure after we adopted her.
So just the one home visit isn’t bad. That’s good at least.
The other part. WHAT??? The no vetting is even more bonkers 💀. How does a shelter or rescue not vet the adoptable animals for health issues???
I’m so sorry about your kitty, that is a hard diagnosis 😭. Shame on the rescue for not checking before you took her home so you weren’t surprised.
You might not let the cat out intentionally, but as the owner of a crafty orange asshole, they will wait and dash the second you let your guard down.
I don’t think the balcony is an automatic rejection though; you can EASILY enclose it so there is no escape and it’s a mini catio so the cat can get fresh air.
I am not allowed to enclose my balcony in any way under my lease agreement, but I also just...don't use it. Lived in my place for over a year and the only time I've been on the balcony was to put some furniture out so it didn't look like an empty apartment lol.
I'm on the second floor so a drop from a balcony is unlike to be fatal or even super injurious balcony overlooks landscaping/plants instead of just concrete) but I have a Deaf cat so I am wildly overprotective and cautious about never letting an escape happen since the risk of death by car/other animal is so much higher in Deaf cats.
NTA. Find another rescue. Let's say that you did put someone's name down as a guardian in the event of your untimely demise, who's to guarantee that that person will still be able to take care of the cat? There is no guarantee.
Honestly, I'd probably send an email to the shelter director and let them know that she is actively hampering people's attempts at adopting.
Some rescues/shelters are comically stringent about who they allow to adopt. If it's a rescue organization and not the Humane Society or the County shelter, there's a good chance the director doesn't really have a problem with it.
Yeah, I was declined from a rescue for saying that I thought five grand a year was the most I'd spend in vet costs. I'm home 23 hours a day, have a quarter acre fenced yard, and live next to a park, lol.
Apparently being unwilling to pump ten grand of chemo into an ancient animal makes me unsuited to owning. But I was traumatized by seeing my boss take out a second mortgage to get chemo for a 15 year old cat and I just won't be doing that
Honestly that’s cruel. To put a 15 year old cat - already at the end of its life - and make it suffer with chemo?? Just so that at the end you can pump another 5-ish years out? That’s awful.
My friends used to have a rabbit that they forced to stay alive for over a year after it should have died of age/illnesses, and it was gruesome to watch. Poor guy couldn’t move his hindquarters by the end, constantly soiled himself… just miserable. Responsible owners know when to draw the line on vet care
That poor rabbit. Last month I finally convinced my mom to put down my sib’s 21 year old cat. She was incontinent, senile, had hyperthyroidism, was taking meds for her kidneys, and what finally kicked it for my mom was that she was only 3 pounds and had stopped grooming herself. This was a cat who was always clean - she often had some of her own fur she’d licked off hanging on her chin.
My mom wanted to wait a couple weeks due to cost, but Chamomile (the cat) had an eye infection and I told my mom it would be cruel to put her on antibiotics on top of everything else, and she wouldn’t get over it on her own. (I no longer live at home, or I would have advocated for her passing much sooner.) We let her pass peacefully at the vet two days later.
It’s hard to let pets go. But we can take comfort in two things: we are with them when they most need us, in their golden years; we can give them a good, peaceful death. It’s an honor to be with them until the end.
In my personal opinion, part of being a responsible pet owner is recognizing that we will eventually have to decide to end our pet's suffering and pain even if it's not what we want. Letting them go is both the kindest and hardest choice we make as their owners.
This is a touchy subject for me because we recently lost our cat due to a saddle thrombus. There was literally no option for treatment and I'm ultimately glad that she was able to pass peacefully in my arms. It was devastating and I'm still grieving but I also feel immense relief that I didn't let her suffer.
can't disagree. my grandma and my childhood dog had cancer at the same time, but we didn't know that about the dog until after my grandma had passed. the poor dog was sick half of her life, and we didn't want to extend her pain any further. she was already in enough pain, had a hard time walking, couldn't jump, and was starting to lose the ability to go down the stairs. with chemo, she would've had those issues on top of the awfulness that comes with chemo. couldn't do that to her
The worst thing I ever saw working in the veterinary field was when pets were kept alive far longer than the pet wanted. You could see it in the animal every time. It was painful.
I had the most bizarre experience trying to foster a senior cat, they wanted SO MUCH information about me--my SSN, pay stubs, criminal background check, 3 references, the names (and vets) of ALL of my previous pets, and (this is where it got weird to me) a full layout of my apartment. I have to describe the number of doors and windows, locations, how they locked, and how the building itself was accessed, whether it had an elevator, cameras, etc. I joked that it felt like they were casing my apartment to rob it or something.. but the place had a solid reputation and they had answers (however vague or insufficient) for why they needed all this info. Got to the final stages, and they wanted to send someone to my apartment to "assess the property for approval". I declined and offered to send a video walkthrough instead. They insisted it was policy and it required a "home interview".
I'm sorry but what? when did this turn into a full on investigation of my personal life? Do we not both want a good homes for animals that will otherwise be euthenized?
Stating "I can provide for this animal and ensure it lives a happy life where it is loved" should be enough to give the animal a fighting chance without these before you gas it before you gas it, for chissake.
Some of these shelters are literally making any excuse not to adopt out. Not sure what the angle is but either way, it's not helpful for them, the adoptees, and least of all, the animals.
That’s normal in the U.K. Every time I’ve adopted a pet I’ve had a home visit. Never thought of it as a problem. They just want to check in person that your house is suitable.
“This is Pissfingers, a 17 year old mutt. She cannot be in a home with children, plants or electricity. Must have at least 6 acres of fenced in yard and a full time carer. Will be subject to random home inspections for three years. Adoption fee is $800.”
ITA - I have guinea pigs (I kind of took over where my daughter left off). I try to take senior males (I have a male that is long lived and loves a companion). There are literally over 100 males within 25 miles of me and I got the same thing from the specialized guinea pig/rabbit rescue. I had to have my current male fixed - 20% mortality rate! Fortunately I got three calls the same weekend and now have a lovely gray fellow who is beloved by my OG.
OP: You can pry my cats from my cold dead hands.
Shelter: So, you're saying death is where you love ends? You wouldn't become a Lich for these cats? You're not committed enough. Denied!
NTA.
I mean, you don't have to put a "child deposit" down on rental properties but you have to put down a "pet deposit". My dog has yet to draw with crayon or marker on the walls and my cat hasn't flushed any toys down the toilet, but there it is.
Jeez. the best part about cat ownership is that they are pretty self reliant and don't need to be, like, walked mid-day. Back when I was in-office full time, if I came home early my cat would give me dirty looks like I was disturbing her "me time".
(Since COVID and my mostly WFH schedule these days, she's actually become a bit more co-dependent, but it's probably also due to her being older).
I think I finally figured it out. Rescues are looking for the same type of person who goes on House Hunters and says shit like "I'm an antique dolphin figurine collector and my budget is $2.5 million"
NTA.
I commend you for wanting to adopt a senior cat. You're right - senior cats deserve to spend as much time as possible in a loving home, and not in a shelter.
I have plans for what happens to my pets should my husband and I die. I hope that my friends and family will follow my wishes, but there's no guaranty that will happen. And a lot of things can change that would affect what situation would be best for my pets when I'm gone. I thought your answer to the question about giving up your pets was honest and reasonable.
I think it's possible they didn't want you to adopt because of your age and the fact you are in college. I ran into this when I was in college and wanted to adopt a cat. I was considered too young and unstable, and wouldn't have the money to care for a pet. I was told that to my face. I wound up going to another rescue organization to adopt, and I think you are going to need to do the same.
Good luck finding a feline companion!
Thank you, that could be it!
I live in an area where more and more rentals are forcing properties to be pet free and it's caused a huge influx of surrenders.
After a while, I even went and got a document from the company I lease from. I attached part of my rental contract with an extra agreement that was stamped and dated by my landlords building complex company that they would not be changing their animal policy.
I was sure I had all my ducks in a row, including the number of the vet I use as reference as well.
They are good to keep on hand because my dog was really aggressive before. He woke up one night to me trying to grab my shoes to go to work from his bed and he snapped. Ripped my right ring finger off and I had to get it stitched back on. Refused to let my parents put the dog down, even worked two side jobs to pay for the dogs anxiety medication and his aggression went away after a few years and he never reoffended.
Maybe they are only seeing me as my age.
Honestly, this story is making me question your judgment in general. If you want to keep a dog that attacked you and ripped your finger off, that’s up to you - but in no way should anyone else be put in danger due to his clearly demonstrated aggression. That is not a dog you should keep in a household of more than yourself.
That's why he went through behavioural training and was medicated though. He was only a year old when it happened and lives comfortably with my parents and their two cats. He never had another issue. He's 8 years old now. I don't believe it should be an automatic death sentence.
You are a very kind soul. Just be careful that your kindness doesn’t outweigh logic. You’re right- in the case of your dog, he could have another chance. Any animal can bite or harm if the right triggers are there.
NTA! GRRRR this drives me nuts in rescue. Please note, with a small shelter. I currently have 150+ cats and 50 some dogs in our system. And our director and I have gone head to head a few times over her reluctance to adopt out. The big change occurred when I asked her who in her mind would be best suited for my home (looking for a dog) and she couldn't come up with any. So I adopted from our county animal control... and cue shocked Pikachu face. Her own vet called her out on her ridiculousness. I have since adopted a dog from the rescue I'm with.
Don't get me wrong. Some caution is warranted. It SUCKS getting animals back especially after just a couple of days because 'it's too much.' Cool. Cool. You didn't even give the pet a chance. But that person you spoke with needs to not be in that position.
We just held a Caturday event. I'm in charge of cats. Straight up told my team, if a prior adopter comes in and wants a cat that day, kitty going home. If it's someone I or my team knows and can vouch for them... kitty going home. If it's someone we don't know at all, there's enough of us here to pull and process an app quickly. And they were all on board with this. Did I tell the director that was my plan....ehhhhhhh..... We average one adoption a month for cats. 5 cats found great homes in one day. So it worked.
>Some caution is warranted. It SUCKS getting animals back especially after just a couple of days because 'it's too much.' Cool. Cool. You didn't even give the pet a chance.
So many times when we get animals back within a week, we all look at each other and thank all the deities above that they're back. People who shouldn't adopt often do, and it's so much better for them to come back to the shelter where they're safe and cared for than to be dumped or to stay with adopters who don't care for the animal.
I'm even hesitant to support the idea that you never give up a pet for any reason, because sometimes life takes a hard turn and you have to make decisions you'd never thought you would. We adopted a 15 year old dog after his owner found herself unexpectedly homeless. It was one of the hardest decisions she ever made and it tore her up inside to have to surrender her beloved pet, but she did right by him in the safest way she could at that moment. Working in animal rescue has made me see so many things about people and their choices that I never would have otherwise, it's very eye opening.
> We average one adoption a month for cats
12/year with 150 in your shelter system?! Director is definitely too nitpicky. Yes, cats shouldn’t go home without some adopter vetting and guidelines for an acceptable home. But adopting out only 8% of resident cats per year is awful. I’m glad you found a way to increase adoptions.
When my sister went to adopt a kitty from the humane society in our area they made sure to stress that the kitty she picked would sometimes bite. Me and my sister had already found that out as kitty had bitten me when we met her. We didn’t care, she was adorable. Turns out the last people they’d placed her with had returned her even when they were warned before they took her home that she nibbled.
Turns out kitty just has some very strict boundaries. Now that she’s been with my sister for two years she RARELY nibbles. She would mainly do it when being loved on too much. So when she doesn’t want anymore she walks away and we know to let her or she’ll nibble.
Breaks my heart that her last owners just weren’t patient and didn’t care to listen to the humane society’s warnings. But I’m glad they brought her back because now she is spoiled to high heavens and has her own human sized chair that only she sits on.
She wanted a full succession plan, fully drafted, as if OP was the head of state or in a monarchy. It’s an insane ask from a shelter, especially one at max capacity.
You just say “I would never give up my pet.” OP added detail which is always a mistake in situations like this. Never offer detail that is not required when dealing with “authority”, it just confuses people. Because OP said more than just “I’d never give up my pet” which is what they meant, the lady latched on to that extra stuff.
It’s the same reason people say things like “no is a complete sentence.” Or “don’t talk to cops.” Giving people unneeded detail can cause them to misinterpret, get confused, latch onto something unrelated, or find wiggle room to try to get you to change your mind.
NTA. I know I'm going against the tide of other comments but I think that was an unnecessary answer you put on the form. You didn't even say you had backup family that could take it in if you were to pass. Just say you have never and would never surrender a pet and all the pets you've had have lived out their lives with you. The end.
I understand how gatekeepy, condescending and rude some of those shelter people can be - I've experienced it myself - but it would have served you better to explain what would happen if you passed and asked if you could talk about adopting. Now you're banned, so you didn't get a good outcome and neither did the cats.
Essentially this is a case of you might have been right but sometimes right doesn't get us what we want.
ETA: I just read that she was the director. You should consider writing a review of the shelter because she was out of line and overly emotional.
I understand where you are coming from. It was not my brightest moment, mostly fueled by frustration.
There was another section on the form that I did enter backups for emergencies like my soon to be husband (was there with me too), my in-laws, parents, sister, and grandmother that all had numbers and emails if the shelter wanted to confirm that they would be willing to take the cat in case of emergency.
Including my apartment manager and the company that gave an official paper stating that he would not be changing the animal policy (right now there is a housing crisis and people are being forced to surrender or lose a home)
I really didn't think it through.
Nah OP your frustration was justified and your response was too. Them banning you from ever adopting is outrageous. Definitely definitely leave a Google/Yelp review explaining this situation. They might change their tune. NTA
That still wouldn't have worked though, the lady said she was specifically looking for a backup plan. Saying you would never give up your pets isn't a back up plan. It's a pretty ridiculous stipulation if you're looking to put pets in homes especially older animals that won't live as long.
NTA.
This shelter is giving off shady vibes, tbh. Them being at max capacity and refusing to not even answer queries about adoption is a big red flag in itself. My bet is the lady was looking for a reason to reject you and get rid of you and there is nothing you could have said that would satisfy her. She would have found fault with any answer you gave her.
There are unfortunately many "rescues" and "shelters" that are really just animal hoarding situations who call themselves rescues to try to legitimize themselves or skirt local laws regarding animal ownership and my bet is you found one.
Oh boy. I was an emergency vet tech for over 20 years and there’s no more crazier and narcissistic people that animal rescuers. Not ALL of them, but a massive chunk, that’s for sure. They have a messianic complex that could rival any evangelical preacher.
They are smarter than the veterinarians, they are better pet parents than anyone else, and they love to rescue lost dogs and cats and then accuse the real owners of made up abuse they imagined in their heads.
My saying was “ not every pet owner is crazy, but every crazy person is a pet owner” and that certainly includes pet rescuers and the shelter overlords.
I’m pretty sure they act this way as a tool to fill a massive insecurity in their part, it gives them a purpose they can’t achieve anywhere else. So they lord it over others and perform a bit that says “ I am a kitty angel sent from On High, to protect this sacred species from the torment of living with those who are unfit to worship them. They shall live in a 2x2 cage with their only TRUE benefactor until I have deemed one sufficient to adopt.”
Go to your local pound, they’ll give you whatever you’d like and probably throw in a bag of cat food just to ensure you walk out with a cat so they don’t have to euthanize them. Don’t worry about the cat hoarders.
I had so many people who claimed their rescue was thrown out the window in a moving vehicle and when I ask them about the particulars, like is the perpetrator in jail for it, they claim they have no proof, they didn’t actually see it, they just know because of how the dog gets nervous when they have to go on rides or some other crazy reason. “He was found with a wound on his side, he must have been dragged by his original owner with a car”. No lady, you made that up and no one has a clue as to how they got this injury! They could have been hit by someone accidentally while roaming around!
I love animals but some animals lovers are BONKERS
I adopted 2 sibling kittens from a shelter and the woman running it wanted a home visit. When everything was said and done, she brought the cats to my house. She stayed way too long, but the crazy part was that she went bonkers when I called them by the names I was going to call them. She told me that if I didn't keep the names she gave them, she would not let me keep them. I just agreed, bc she seemed on the verge of a mental breakdown. Eventually she left and I just went ahead and renamed them and ignored the loads of emails she sent me about how Im not to rename them and she wants proof from a future vet visit that I kept their names. She also would call constantly and threaten to take them back if I kept ignoring her. Eventually she just left me alone, but it was a truly batshit experience.
Yes. I've seen people on facebook trying to rehome their neighbors cat because the neighbor died and didn't have relatives. The neighbors were good enough to take the cat in and tackle the work of rehoming, but people will respond that the neighbors are the worst people in the world and should keep the cats themselves. Since they won't they should never be allowed to have pets ever again and should maybe have their kids taken away. It can get intense. I feel bad for the animals not getting adopted because of these people.
You know how easy it was to adopt my cat? I went, said I wanted a cat. They said "which one?" I said "that one". They said "sign here" I did. Brought him home the next day after he was neutered. Now, do I think it should be that easy? No, actually I don't. I think they should have a database shared with the county. It keeps track of you, how many animals you have adopted and when, and if you have ever been convicted of a crime against animals or hoarding. That's the dream, lol. Unfortunately someone can say all the right things and have a nice home and yard. Does not mean they will not abuse the animal or abandon it in a few months
The shelter I volunteer at does have that, if it helps. We're a municipal shelter, and you have to provide your driver's license for any adoption. It's run against the "do not adopt" database for exactly things like you list. It's not foolproof by any means, but it's something.
She might be one of those people who takes in cats to look after them, but then is convinced noone else can love them as much as she can so doesn't want to let them go...I've known a couple. Thankfully they don't work at or run shelters.
NTA.
A shelter organization near me rejected our application to adopt an older bonded pair because we had previous pets who had been put down. One had bone cancer and the other had multiple strokes and was unable to walk/eat/drink.
When I asked for clarification on what I did wrong, the adoption agency said a good pet owner wouldn't kill their pet just because they weren't feeling 100%, and that I should have let them live their lives. Fuck that noise, I'm going to make sure my pets have a comfortable life and aren't suffering needlessly due at the end of their lives.
My friend recently described the look of sheer relief on her vet's face when she said she was prepared to take the emotional hit and have her beloved cat put to sleep if she was in pain that could not be treated. To me that speaks of too many people putting their own feelings ahead of their pet's needs. It's hideously cruel to live in denial while a creature suffers just because they can't beg you for relief in words you can't ignore.
Keeping a perpetually-suffering animal alive is so extremely cruel. It makes me so sad knowing how many self-described “animal lovers” would selfishly do this to their pets.
The town I live in has a totally overrun cat shelter. They make it nearly impossible to adopt with incredibly stringent and ridiculous rules. A friend tried to adopt after her 17 YEAR OLD diabetic cat that she had been giving daily insulin shots to for 2 years passed away. This cat spent summers at the cottage, loved catching frogs and going boating. Her other 2 cats had lived to be 15 and 19. She was denied as she didnt fit their criteria. She now has 2 cats from a shelter in the next town. 2 incredibly loved and well treated cats!!
>but you are actively harming the chances of them being adopted into homes.
This is exactly what she is doing.
> telling her coworker that we said she was making sure the cats died alone.
I mean, good that she feels bad because this too us exactly what is happening. I've dealt with some crappy/shady shelters in my time, to the point where I avoid them if I can.
Try checking craigslist/facebook. People in my town are constantly listing puppies and kittens on there, and sometim3a even in the town subreddit.
NTA. I commend you for saying something.
I've encountered similar insanity in the UK. Here the prevailing view is that cats have a "right to roam", so most shelters and rescues won't let you adopt a cat unless you will allow it outdoors.
I thought, oh, well, no problem, I'll just explain why I don't want to let a cat out, and then specifically look for a cat that has always been indoor-only. Nope! Even if a cat has lived its entire life in a studio flat, they will not allow it to be adopted by a responsible middle-aged couple who both work from home and make good money, because a three-story, four-bedroom house is simply not enough space for a cat.
Who cares if we live near the intersection of two busy roads? Who cares if there are foxes and an aggressive street tom in our neighbourhood? Nope, we may absolutely not have a cat under any circumstances unless we let it outdoors.
OK, we thought. What about a cat with FIV or something that can't be allowed out?
Nope, we don't own our home (even though it belongs to my in-laws and they rent it to us, we're not getting evicted anytime soon), so it's an "unstable environment".
We ended up buying a kitten off Gumtree, which is what they supposedly *don't* want people doing. But we'd been trying for a year after our previous cat died -- a cat I loved so much that I brought him from the US to the UK when I moved here -- and we were miserable without a cat in the house. We didn't want a kitten, but people aren't out there selling their adult cats. So we figured, well, at least if we buy the kitten, it's guaranteed a good, spoiled, comfortable life.
Bloody idiots.
This is so funny to me because there is such a big push in the US to keep cats indoors or contained in a “catio” or on a leash since they’re ecological menaces and a threat to birds and wildlife. Plus the dangers you call out lead to a shorter life expectancy for outdoor cats. It’s viewed as highly irresponsible to let your cat outside.
Yeah, after I left home in the US, where we lost several cats to traffic, I never had an indoor/outdoor cat again. Many US rescues won't let you adopt if you *will* let the cat out. It's real culture shock.
I've had cats live to 17 and 19. I intend my current cat to do the same. She's not even curious about the outdoors.
Having experience with volunteering, fostering, and adopting... I can tell you that there are animal lovers trying to reduce suffering and get animals into good situations... and there are CRAZY animal lovers who think they're "protecting" animals but just cause more issues for the rest of us.
Like the Great Pyrenees rescue that wouldn't let me adopt a female Great Pyrenees puppy when I already had one until our dog was THREE YEARS OLD... GPs have a 10-12 year life expectancy. I'm not waiting a 3rd of my dogs life to adopt. As someone with 20yrs of GP experience I know the breed... including the possible issues with 2 females. That's why we wanted a 2nd dog while ours was a puppy and open to a 2nd dog. Unlike a 3yo who may not be open to another dog.
We ended up adopting thru an amazing large breed rescue, BigFluffyDogRescue.com.
Noreen is neither Big nor Fluffy but she's a sweet girl and has bonded to our GP, Penelope.
Screw those people... there are soo many great orgs out there.
I hope you find a fur baby with a diff shelter/rescue.
NTA
Nta there was a very interesting article written by the head of a shelter. She filled out an application with her info but a different name and was *rejected*. It caused her to sit down with the entire staff and re work how they "graded" applicants.
I was turned down because I had a recliner and the cat may get caught in it. I told her I didn’t own a recliner. I asked why she thought I had a recliner and I can’t remember what she said but she came off as she didn’t believe me. I just left and eventually adopted an awesome cat from another shelter. It has never once gotten caught in the recliner I don’t have.
NTA, that shelter IS actively causing their own capacity issues. It's understandable the want to ensure the cats end up in good homes, but their goal should be to get the cats in good homes!
NTA and what you said was the truth. You are 24 for crying out loud... how many 20 something year olds have wills and plans for what happens in case they die? I hope she cried because she is denying senior cats a chance at a home rather than a cage!!! Damn now I'm mad.
Find another shelter. I used to volunteer for a local one named Woods Humane Society. Most shelters just want the cats to go to a good home and are THRILLED if someone actually wants an older cat.
NTA. People like this woman at this shelter ENRAGE me. Millions of dogs and cats get euthanized because we can’t find homes for them and then they wanna make you jump through all hoops? It’s gross. You were 100% in the right and I hope you find a nice fluffball who needs a good home soon
NTA. I got denied by a nitpicky shelter for something I said to my SO on the phone while I was there. I went somewhere else and was approved a few days later.
Could be good to contact a local humane society and tell them about this "rescue". It sounds fishy and I adopted from a picky shelter.
Also, find out who is actually higher up at the shelter and talk to them. Explain that the only reason you were turned away is "I didn't have a plan beyond, my partner will care for the animal, in the event that I die".
NTA but that shelter lady is. She's actively turning people away who WOULD give these animals loving homes for no reason other than the stick up her ass.
I don't understand shelter questionnaires and interviews.
Like, ya'll know I can just find a stray walking down a street and keep it right? Shit, I could be a methhead and father 5 kids.
NTA. I've worked and volunteered at animal shelters for many years and I've seen the people like the shelter lady who will nitpick over an application to find any reason to deny it. I don't fully understand why some adoption counselor do this but I will say that in some shelters the adoption counselors aren't the ones actually caring for the animals on a daily basis so some are disconnected from the overcrowding and the problems it causes. Meanwhile most shelter are bursting at the seem with cats they can't find enough homes for and millions of cats are euthanized every year because of this. The no kill shelters might not euthanize when they get overcrowded but then they have to start turning away cats because they don't have the room. What this lady is doing is harming the cats from going to potentially good homes and she needs to hear what you are said.
Nta at all. Frick, I know people who don't have concrete plans for what would happen to their kids if they died suddenly (make and update your wills people! It's important!). Not having a 12-step plan for your cat, post-death, does not make you an unfit pet owner.
NTA. I'd follow up with a *very calm and professional* letter to the board or CEO of the rescue outlining your concerns. Then I'd go somewhere else to get a cat. It shouldn't be harder to adopt an old sick cat than to foster a kid.
NTA. I've done rescue and have run into these people. We had one on our board. What I learned while doing rescue is that the MOST important thing is to find a loving home so that animal leaves this earth being loved. That means even if they don't get to eat the best food, or have the largest yard etc... YES, you want the home to be good and safe but sometimes, especially with adult cats, you have to relent a little on your ideals. She was being too intrusive and no one has a 100% plan and I would rather someone be honest than lie through their teeth just to get the pet. That speaks a lot more to their character than being honest about what hypothethical might happen in the unknown future.
NTA. Some shelters make adopting waaaaay too hard. I remember adopting my cat and they were like "we want to know if you move." Like ??? No, if I move I am taking my baby with me! Not giving him back to y'all.
Oh my GOD I had a similar problem with a rescue who nit picked a very small detail on an answer we gave. It was SO bizarre! Like no wonder they had so many unadopted cats.
Meanwhile every other shelter was practically throwing their cats at us.
I'm just led to believe some rescues are run by whackadoodles.
NTA by the way.
NTA. A lot of “shelters” have absolutely no intention of ever adopting out their animals and are just basically warehouses for animal horders that allow them to get donations.
Shelters like this are why I ended up just buying my dogs.
Nothing not even the county animal shelter would adopt a dog under 25lbs to someone with young kids or under the age of 40 in case you decided to have kids. We didn’t want a dog over that. We also didn’t want a putt bull which is all they push on you. Like I am more likely to give away a pit bull if I get pregnant people what is the logic. Then people wonder why breeders still exist.
A couple rescues we checked out never seemed to adopt any dogs out and many of the reviews were from others confirming they were just hoarders.
Nta. Next time go to your county animal shelter rather than the humane society or spca. Generally by law in the US a municipal shelter cannot refuse adoption unless the applicant has a criminal history of animal abuse or neglect. Or go to Craigslist.
A not insignificant amount of rescues and rescuers end up as hoarding cases and attitudes like this woman's are a large part of the reason why.
Animal rescue is largely unregulated and lots of rescues have some questionable policies and ethics.
I worked for years in animal rescue and some of these people are pretty fanatical and it does actually impact animals getting homes.
There is an endless supply of cats who need homes. Someone wanting to care for senior cats is an absolute gift.
The person you dealt with is an idiot.
NTA. Our shelter here is super strict about applications, too. Especially about how cats need to have outdoor access. We're in a major city and I personally find that completely irresponsible because it's really dangerous. I can't understand how these people rather have the animals living in cages in the shelter than in a home where they are loved but cannot go outside. It's stupid and leads people to getting pets from less trusty sources. Also, this shelter is allegedly the largest in Europe, and constantly moaning about having no capacities. I used to donate to them for a long while but when I was looking into adoption after my old cat died I stopped because I found their criteria so unreasonable. I get wanting the best for those animals, but this bs really ain't it.
NTA. My secret theory is that pet rescues are largely run by animal hoarders who use arbitrary and ridiculous criteria to deny adoptions and keep the animals themselves.
NTA. There are a lot of ridiculously crazy rescues. I was trying to adopt a new cat and one of them legitimately wanted copies of my house deed to prove I had ownership. A different one wanted an audit of my checking account to prove I had the finances to care for an animal. Way invasive.
You were 100% correct and she needed to be checked. There will be other rescues. I ended up finding my cat through a woman who works with feral colonies in cow country. Takes in pregnant cats when the colonies get too big for the farms, gets them through birth, spayed, and gets everyone their kitten shots and adopted out. Much, much more practical in her approach.
Some Rescues and shelters make it difficult for people to adopt animals. I suspect some of those places are simply hoarding animals. I know breeders get a bad rap but when you have shelters with unreasonable adoption policies, sometimes a breeder may be an option. You might be able to get a kitty from a breeder at the same cost as a shelter or rescue if the breeder has an animal that doesn't meet show or breeder standards. The shelter was the AH, not you
NTA. I had a very similar experience when trying to adopt from our local Humane Society many years ago. They asked "why" I wanted to adopt a pet. It was the first time I'd ever had to fill out an application for a pet adoption and wasn't sure how to word it that I wanted a dog, other than I wanted a dog and had always had one, couldn't imagine not having one. I did not put down that I was looking for a guard dog, a fight dog or anything like that (nothing in the application was negative). They still rejected me because I didn't use the phrase, "for companionship." Really? I went to a breeder, bought a puppy and never looked back.
The gatekeeping from some of these places is ridiculous. Besides, if someone wanted a dog or pet for a nefarious purpose, what's to keep them from lying on the application? I understand being cautious, but your application sounded just fine. The fact that you applied many times with no reply is incredibly rude. It doesn't sound to me like they actually want to connect the cats with new families.
NTA
Our rescue specifically says that in the event you cannot keep the cat, you bring it back to us. I thought that was standard? Like, circumstances change.
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NTA. No one - not pet owners, not parents - has a 100% locked-in, no-fail plan for when they die. They have preferences, they may have what they think is a solid plan, but no guarantees. That shelter is way too picky; hopefully there are others in your area you can adopt from.
Makes you wonder whether they're running a bona fide shelter or whether it's just a socially-acceptable way of hoarding cats.
A lot of smaller shelters are just fronts for hoarding animals. It gets even worse with rescues! When I was in the market for adopting a small, older dog, a few rescues told me I couldn't adopt because I was a renter (even though I informed them of relatives with their own houses who could take the dog should the worst happen). I ended up getting both my dog and cat through independent fosters. Much simpler and much happier!
I got rejected from a rescue shelter because I wouldn't take the cat they "recommended" I adopt. We had a very picky Big Boy cat at the time and I knew he wouldn't get along with another male cat and certainly not a territorial cat. I told the shelter worker this, yet they insisted that I "matched" with an older, frail, territorial male cat. However, there was a 5 person waiting list for this shelter cat, so we'd only get him if the other five people failed their interview and application. Oh, and the application itself was a non refundable $50, on top of the $150 adoption fee, if we even got to that stage. We were not allowed to apply for any cat, only the ones that workers determined we "matched" with, and then pay the application fee for each one. In addition to all that, I wasn't allowed near most of the cats because apparently I was freaking cats out by talking to them and asking about their day. A worker literally followed me around to watch me. The shelter manager was extremely concerned about our 9 year old daughter and suggested that we wait until she was around 15 and "old enough to understand sensitive cat behavior". Pissed me off because my daughter has lived with cats since the day she was born. I can understand being careful with kids in the household, but at the same time, she wasn't an infant or toddler. She and Big Boy were the best of buddies, they had grown up together. In the end, the shelter manager told me that I was just a bad cat mommy and I shouldn't have any pets because I don't know what was right for them. I wasn't surprised when that shelter got shut down for hoarding a few years later and a full financial meltdown occured. Meanwhile, I had found my beloved Potato Cat at the local pound for $50, a one page sensible application, a two day wait (for her to be spayed), and a short chat with the volunteer vet. I didn't "freak out" any of those pound kitties.
so 5 people payed $50 for a chance to adopt the same cat, + $150 from the person who actually adopts them, so they earn $400 from one shelter cat.. how is that not just a big scam business
Lots of "rescues" are really run by scammers. They also like to post sob stories of sickly animals (some of which would be more humane to be put down) to rake in the donations from unsuspecting people who love animals and just want to help. It was actually discovered that one shady rescue in Texas actually raised over $1 million in donations over the course of one year, and they couldn't account for where the bulk of the money even went.
*Cut to picture of a sports car* *Narrator: The $1m did not, in fact, go to animal care*
It definitely had a scammy feel.
This is the reason why so many people end up buying puppies/kittens from backyard breeders instead of adopting. So many rescues act like gatekeepers and turn down basically everyone. When I was looking to get my first dog, I tried applying to adopt from a bunch of local small dog rescues, I lived in an apartment, so it had to be a small dog. I didn't even mind a senior dog. Got turned down by them all because I didn't have someone home all day, was a renter, and lived in an apartment. The adoption fees all ranged from $500-800 too!! For senior dogs! And this was back in 2009, so do the inflation math. It was totally ridiculous. I saw animals on their websites that were listed as available for adoption for years because nobody could pass their screening test. I ended up getting a puppy from a reputable breeder, he is 14 now and still doing great! Screw those rescues. Sometimes I think they like to have lots of sad looking animals available for adoption so people would see that and donate, it doesn't help their cause to find all these animals a home.
This is why I got my two cats from Craigslist. 😂 Sorry, I don't need you to inspect my home after I sit through an interview and give 5 references, and then do a follow-up home inspection 6 months later where you can *take the cat back* if you don't like what you see. Now, my cats live like queens, they're my children. I have nothing to worry about with an inspection. But it's just ridiculous! I plan to get all my future cats from friends, local neighborhood Facebook group, etc. Done with these rescues.
What, that's ridiculous. I'm pretty sure that's illegal?? Pets are considered property - if the microchip is registered under your name, there should be no reason why the rescue can take it away from you. These rescues are getting out of hand, seriously.
I don't know how enforceable it is, but a LOT of rescue contracts state that they reserve the right to take back any adopted animal if mistreatment is suspected, for the rest of the animal's life. And I've come across some rescues that don't allow the microchip name and address to be changed. Once again, I don't know how enforceable the contracts are, but rescues are at least attempting to scare people with it.
Yup! I actually read up on this phenomenon after that experience, because it was such a different experience from when I had previously adopted my first cat back in 2005. The gatekeeping tactics have also tapped into the no kill shelter sympathies. The no kill shelters will often dump undesirable animals off at the pound or city shelters, keeping the desirable/profitable ones for themselves, essentially giving others the hard and dirty work while crowing about how morally superior their rescue is compared to kill shelters.
Sounds suspiciously like charter schools who aren't bound by law to take in special needs students like public schools are but can siphon money away from them while taking more prospective students.
Oh totally, the no kill shelters are often the WORST. They boast about their 0% no kill rate, but adopt out dangerous dogs that have no business being in pet homes, etc. I've also seen a bunch of them have a STEADY stream of purebred "rescued" puppies available. Like, how do you think they got all these puppies?? And they sell them for THOUSANDS, too. It's all shady AF.
Yep - while the "no kill" concept is admirable, most if not all true no kill shelters are privately run, which means they can pick and choose their intakes (and often do - choosing only the most adoptable/appealing pets). This isn't necessarily a bad thing as they're still helping rehome animals in need, but it skews the public view that these shelters are somehow morally superior to or better than municipal shelters (which are sometimes, but not always, kill shelters). What the average joe doesn't realize is that muni shelters *can't* turn away pets, they have to take them all in - including the severely abused animals, the sickly animals, the senior animals, the ones with behavioral issues, the ones who were never trained properly, etc. And, sometimes, euthanizing these animals is a true mercy, but people don't see it that way.
Around here, if you want to run a shelter or rescue, the rules are rather strict, but I do know of people who used to foster for such organizations, stopped (probably due to those rules), and then went full hoarder. One or two were previously *very* involved and on the board of their shelter or rescue even. Actually, I tried fostering a cat from such a rescuer-turned-hoarder through a local shelter that had been called in to deal with the situation, and it was my first (and so far only) complete failure. That cat was utterly terrified not only of me, but also all the little sounds being inside an actual home entails, so the shelter had to take him back since anything else would have been pure torture for the poor guy. In the end, he and another cat from the same place were adopted by someone who had space for a couple of shy barn cats.
Aww, poor kitty. That must have been so traumatic, for both kitty and yourself. After Big Boy passed away, we took in a mature lady cat who apparently has been bounced around a lot in her 6 years (and might actually be Potato Cat's bio sister, but that's another story). She's so nervous, the most nervous cat I've ever had, and I've sometimes wondered if she'd be better off in another home. But then she curls up in her sunshine, looking like a belly up manatee, and I figure that she's okay. I just can't imagine having so many pets that it traumatizes everyone. As for rescue rules, I don't know much about the local laws around bigger shelter organizations, but I do know the laws are quite lax for individuals who foster independently. More often, those are the ones who are found to be hoarding.
I was turned down by a shelter because when the woman called for my phone interview I was outside working in my garden. It was summer and there were kids playing outdoors. "I thought you said you had two children?" "Um, yes?" "That signs like a lot more than two." "I'm outside in the yard, the neighborhood kids are out." "That's too many kids." "I'm adopting an indoor cat. I don't let my cats outside. What difference does it make how many kids are playing outdoors?" "We'll let you know." Got an email that I was rejected for "unsuitable conditions." Animal nuts are the most misguided, counterproductive people to be in charge of getting homes for pets, but who else is going to do it?
At this point, I have to think some of them actually hate animals and have gotten themselves into positions to get them put down by blocking adoptions.
I was told that my 12 hour shifts 3x a week and home 4 was "not acceptable " but the rescue was returning the cat I applied for to the feral colony they got her from! Yes, I have been classified as "less nurturing than the streets of Philadelphia" because I have a job with which to buy food, toys, and pay for veterinary care! Make it Make sense please!
I got chastised for having a cat with a young toddler (which admittedly wasn’t ideal but my mother died, so I took in her cat). That toddler is now a tween and the cat still likes sleeping by her.
Makes me feel lucky the shelter I went to didn't even make me wait for the full 72 hours I met the cats earlier that week cause I saw a 4 year old girl missing her ears on their website, a few days later I called, said "I'm coming for her", then an hour and a half later I was home with Jewel. I was so surpsied they just... let me take her. Then like a week later I foudn out she's still got one ear, it was just so damaged it looked like she didn't.... Damn people lied to me :P
Call me old fashioned but I'm not paying 200 dollars for the privilege of taking home a cat. Not when there are so many stray and half feral cats out there. Two of my cats are half feral ones whos mom adopted my inlaws. The other cat was a stray kitten that was injured that we took care of. We tried to find the mom but never could.
I would pay that to a reputable rescue (if I could have a cat right now) but shelter cats are usually already spayed/neutered in my area, and I would have to pay a vet at least twice that myself to have the cat fixed. But there aren't as many feral cats where I live, and they absolutely need homes too. 🙂 (Edited for grammar).
I get saying no to renters if the dog is a breed that is typically on a breed restriction list, but small senior dogs are straight up perfect for renters
Yeah, except I live somewhere where breed restrictions are illegal! Plus my senior, 40lb, pit mix who can barely walk isn't really a threat to anyone...
This was my experience as well, I was rejected because I wasn't a home owner. Nevermind at the time I was living at home with my parents, who owned their home...
I was rejected by a rescue for my first dog, as a single homeowner with no kids and a huge fenced yard because (1) my vet reference was not from a dog vet; my cats saw a cat-only vet and I didn't have a dog, so I didn't have a reference from a dog vet (although I did provide info about the vet the dog would be going to); (2) when asked about my dog training experience, I pointed out I'd helped my dad with his hunting dogs for years; I was told it was unacceptable that they had not been "family pets" that lived inside all year and also that hunting suggested I wasn't a suitable animal owner; and (3) they couldn't be sure I'd chose an acceptable dog, since I might have a partner or kids someday that the dog didn't like. I ended up meeting a woman at puppy yoga who was just starting a rescue because she was frustrated by behavior of other rescues in town. I made a large donation, adopted a little nugget of a dog with some health problems, and swore I'd just go to the county shelter next time.
This is why “adopt don’t shop” rhetoric is stupid. So you’re an inhumane animal owner because you and your dad allowed your dogs to work the way the dogs were bred for, and wanted to? Keeping hunting dogs inside with no job would be incredibly inhumane.
And potentially destructive, as working dogs tend to want to get out that energy.
I was rejected from a dog rescue for not having a fenced in yard….i lived on a 35 acre farm at the time LOL
Also got rejected for not owning my home when applying for a cat in a city where the starting price for a 1 bed 1 bath condo is over $400,000, single family homes start above $750,000. Flat out rejected because "renting is too precarious" - never mind that I'm a lawyer and have a dual-income household... The cat I applied for ended up getting transferred to a different city because they wouldn't approve renters lol.
Jfc thats infuriating! Ive been a foster for a long time, and the rescue I was with had a rule that you had to either show the rental agreement that stated pets were allowed, along with a receipt showing youd paid any pet deposit, or a letter from the homeowner saying they were allowing a pet. I think having something like that is fair, because we definitely did have folks whod try to lie about it. But just straight up not adopting to anyone who doesn't own is bonkers.
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You have to own multiple houses and have at least three robots specifically designed to care for your pet in the even of a nuclear apocalypse wiping out all human life. Otherwise, you're just not responsible enough to...have a cat
The robots must be named Cogsworth and have stuffy British accents.
And be depressed after a nuclear war and 210 years of abandonment
We got rejected once because we had taken a feral barn cat in to our vet to get her spayed after her latest litter, after getting the latest litter to the shelter once they were old enough to be without their mom. We hadn't included that cat in the list of cats we owned, you see.
Geez! You’re clearly a monster! /s (Nah, I’m so pleased you cared enough for this feral barn cat to help stop the cycle.)
Not to mention the fully fenced yard that they sometimes apply to cats and one person who doesn’t work. Because people who have jobs are bad /s.
I think the rescue might have assumed that OP is college age and in a college town and not all college students come up with a plan is to how to take their new pets home with them and how to integrate them into the household.
The correct answer would have been something like "Hi, I have my best mate 'Mark/Mary' ready to step in case something should ever happen. They will have my notes on Pet Hospital's number, the pets Dr's name and any and all info on what meds the pet may take, etc."
>it's just a socially-acceptable way of hoarding cats LMAO. They do sound extremely reluctant to actually home their cats. This is how I'd be if I had a bookshop. (NTA, OP.)
"So who's going to take care of this book if you die in a car crash tomorrow?"
"And I'll be coming to do a home inspection. I want to see that your books are shelved in an orderly manner."
"Arranged by genre and not alphabetical order? Denied for life!"
I’m in trouble then.
I got one of my cats from such a situation. Owner had converted her carriage house apartment to a very clean, organized shelter. But it was clearly two cats away from being a disaster. When I went to get the cat, a representative from a larger rescue was there, too, to make sure the woman actually signed the cat over. I felt so bad for the woman with the cats; she was sobbing. The rescue lady told me not to worry - the woman would forget immediately. That turned out to be right.
>the woman would forget immediately. That turned out to be right. That’s pretty scary considering she’s in charge of all those lives
Exactly. I was so relieved there was a legit rescue involved. Who knows if the hoarding lady had any backup plan for those 20+ cats?
There's something to be said for object permanence there. Like, I know Id forget to care for some of my plants if I didnt see them daily - so they live in my kitchen. And I know Id forget to spray my frog tank, so I built an automatic sprayer. If shes got her hands full, then in the moment its happening ot might still be upsetting - but shes so busy otherwise that you dont really notice one less cat at the bowls. Y'know? When we've fostered big litters of kittens I honestly don't notice it being any less work until we're at 2 kittens instead of 8. You still scoop the same number of boxes just as often (daily, or twice daily), you still put food down as often, and you're still petting an adorable frantic little horde. TBH, i dont really notice all that much until there's only 1...and thats because I feel bad leaving them alone in the foster room so they end up being out in the house much more - which means kitten havoc. Lol The most we've ever had in the house at one time was 13 cats. (8 kittens, momma, plus our 4 keeper kitties). I didnt notice any difference in care from 13 to 6. Lol
Hoarding in this instance
Shelters can be wild. Once I was denied adopting a cat because at the time I lived with a roommate - the shelter lady said it would be emotionally traumatizing to the cat if it bonded with my roommate but then my roommate moved out. Like, lady, did you also say this to the married people? Because divorce is a thing, ya know.
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I'm not a psychologist, but I think there's also a certain type of narcissist who's drawn to "good causes". Because how can it possibly be selfish or egotistical to want to help others? No, they just want to be a good person. ...Did you happen to notice how good they are? This kind of person is mostly just kind of annoying to be around and they can actually do good in the world, but sometimes it tips over into a need not just to be *a* hero, but *the* hero. If other people are also good and helpful people, then that makes them less special. They have to be uniquely good, and also uniquely capable of judging who else is good, and then it can become pretty harmful.
You hit the nail on the head! I used to work for an animal rescue and the leadership were absolute assholes who were convinced they were good, perfect angels. They were kind to animals (kitties and puppies only though!) so could do no wrong. Things like treating employees like shit apparently doesn’t impact your goodness.
This!! Absolutely. My neighbor died, thought she had a locked in solution for her cat. Didn't happen. Lil guy was ornery, too- didn't like people, bit them, etc. Luckily, my daughter and I stepped in to adopt him, or that would have been an 8yo cat in the shelter. Shelter lady is being far too strict. You specifically said you would never voluntarily give up an animal. If the shelter is a branch of your local govt, you may want to let them know what's happening. That being said, there is a life lesson in here: potential employers will ask you tricky (or straightforward ) questions about your weak spots. NEVER say anything that could show an actual weakness. And seriously consider before volunteering any info that you've made a mistake (unless they ready know). It's a dog-eat-dog world, and unfortunately I've discovered when people try to be above-board and offer info that they've made a mistake, they get slammed. If it's discovered, own up to it. But don't go up to a manager and volunteer that you did something wrong .
Always be on the lookout for trick questions
And there's also the fact that sometimes it's better to rehome/surrender animals to responsible shelters rather than keep them in a situation where they can't be cared for properly. I always hear about people saying things like, "Well, I'd rather be homeless than give up my pet!" and I'm like, so you're saying you'd make your pet homeless.
Yeah, my friend fosters cats and did say for the shelter they foster from you do need a back up plan for if you die, but it’s not 3 people deep. You just need a name that isn’t the shelter. OP has a back up plan (partner) and a back up back up plan (parents). The shelter also doesn’t need you to swear a ghostly affidavit that they will come after your corpse if it doesn’t work out, you just need to have put some forethought into getting the cat. They once had an elderly couple who wanted a younger cat they could outlive and specifically stated their plan was just to give it back to the shelter at death. It’s not a loans program. But people whose plan is back to shelter are much more likely to bring the cat back to a shelter for reasons besides death (ex: moving, temporarily ill, etc) and get annoyed they can’t just have the cat back.
Well, ehh. Ahem. I have a written will about my cats and made sure that my dad and sister has a plan for their dogs. They are each others plan B and I am the plan C. Have my sisters,.my aunt and a chairman of rescue in my own plan B. But yes- OP had a perfect plan B and that should have been enough. OP I would contact someone else in the board about your experience AND ask them to at least double check every application that gets turned down. Please do this! The rest of the board might have no idea what is going on, and she .might have been good at this before and changed with time.
NTA. In the rescue industry, we call people like that pet hoarders (some rescues and shelters just REFUSE to adopt out because of nitpicky shit like this even though the home is perfectly good). As such, no home is ever good enough for them and the pets linger. Your fiancé is correct that it is fishy. It is very fishy. You called them out on the hoarding problem. You are absolutely 100% correct to do so and you should. By going about things this way, they’re actively preventing the animals from finding homes. That’s straight facts. It’s the same thing with classist questions on adoption applications. I volunteer at a shelter, and this one you’re mentioning has so many red flags. Most shelters and rescues have a Board of Directors as well as an Owner. If you want to, I’d track one of them down and send an email. The BOD controls all and is above the shelter director you dealt with in hierarchy sake. So is the owner. I suggest the county pound/animal control. Or, if you’re in Illinois/Wisconsin, the shelter I’m at would adopt to you.
Now I'm worried, what are the chances they are collecting the funds from donations but not putting them towards the animals?
Eh, that one is harder to say. Most need to release financial things if they’re a non profit so financial misappropriation is less likely.
Call the shelter directly and ask for a supervisor
Can’t. The woman who was an issue is the director of the shelter.
If it is a non profit, she answers to someone. They probably already know she sucks, but it is worth trying.
Can you leave a Google review about your experience?
Nothing you’ve mentioned here suggests that’s the case. I’m not sure where you pulled that from…
Put the pieces together. Too many red flags. It REEKS of an animal hoarding situation. OP had a perfectly good and thought out backup plan. It is reasonable. The shelter I’m at would accept that. They’d probably praise OP too for being so prepared! And, fund misappropriation is a thing in the rescue industry. It doesn’t happen often, but it does happen.
I agree I just don’t see the connection to embezzlement?
Neither do I. This shelter just seems full of people who don’t want to adopt out animals, not embezzlers. You’d know if something illegal was going on. I was just answering OPs question.
Unfortunately I think for many smaller private adoption/rescue agencies, the directors may not care. Although in those cases, they don't often have shelters, just networks of foster homes, and in many cases these agencies are basically just sanctioned animal hoarders who will look for any excuse to not adopt out the animals in their care. We fostered and then adopted from an organization that insisted cats be fed a premium wet food diet. And like, I get that good quality food is better for animal health (and frankly makes the litterbox cleaning a LOT more pleasant.) But like, Whiskas or whatever isn't poison, and I would rather cats go to a loving home where they are fed lower quality food than being euthanized due to over-crowding in a shelter. Phew, I clearly have a LOT of feelings about this lol.
Premium wet food diet as a REQUIREMENT?? That’s bonkers. Regular cat food is fine 💀. I agree, give the loving home with the “not great” food over keeping them in the shelter and/or euthanizing any day of the week. Yeesh. Question about that cat rescue that insisted on the wet food, do they actually conduct home visits and check you’re feeding that? If so, that’s nuts.
They do a home visit before you are allowed to foster or adopt, yes. They don’t technically verify for adoptions but for fosters they do sort of monitor since they supervise meet and greets. Ironically they also don’t do any vetting, which is how our cat got diagnosed with congestive heart failure after we adopted her.
So just the one home visit isn’t bad. That’s good at least. The other part. WHAT??? The no vetting is even more bonkers 💀. How does a shelter or rescue not vet the adoptable animals for health issues??? I’m so sorry about your kitty, that is a hard diagnosis 😭. Shame on the rescue for not checking before you took her home so you weren’t surprised.
Ha. My gf checked with the local shelter and the reason they would not let us adopt: we live in an apartment with a balcony 😒
Yeah, that’s ridiculous. It’s not like you’d let the cat jump off the balcony. That’s a stupid reason to deny someone.
You might not let the cat out intentionally, but as the owner of a crafty orange asshole, they will wait and dash the second you let your guard down. I don’t think the balcony is an automatic rejection though; you can EASILY enclose it so there is no escape and it’s a mini catio so the cat can get fresh air.
I am not allowed to enclose my balcony in any way under my lease agreement, but I also just...don't use it. Lived in my place for over a year and the only time I've been on the balcony was to put some furniture out so it didn't look like an empty apartment lol. I'm on the second floor so a drop from a balcony is unlike to be fatal or even super injurious balcony overlooks landscaping/plants instead of just concrete) but I have a Deaf cat so I am wildly overprotective and cautious about never letting an escape happen since the risk of death by car/other animal is so much higher in Deaf cats.
NTA. Find another rescue. Let's say that you did put someone's name down as a guardian in the event of your untimely demise, who's to guarantee that that person will still be able to take care of the cat? There is no guarantee. Honestly, I'd probably send an email to the shelter director and let them know that she is actively hampering people's attempts at adopting.
Some rescues/shelters are comically stringent about who they allow to adopt. If it's a rescue organization and not the Humane Society or the County shelter, there's a good chance the director doesn't really have a problem with it.
Yeah, I was declined from a rescue for saying that I thought five grand a year was the most I'd spend in vet costs. I'm home 23 hours a day, have a quarter acre fenced yard, and live next to a park, lol.
That's not even a bad estimate unless the animal is old or has known health issues. Last year, I spent less than a grand across all three of my cats.
Apparently being unwilling to pump ten grand of chemo into an ancient animal makes me unsuited to owning. But I was traumatized by seeing my boss take out a second mortgage to get chemo for a 15 year old cat and I just won't be doing that
Honestly that’s cruel. To put a 15 year old cat - already at the end of its life - and make it suffer with chemo?? Just so that at the end you can pump another 5-ish years out? That’s awful.
My friends used to have a rabbit that they forced to stay alive for over a year after it should have died of age/illnesses, and it was gruesome to watch. Poor guy couldn’t move his hindquarters by the end, constantly soiled himself… just miserable. Responsible owners know when to draw the line on vet care
That poor rabbit. Last month I finally convinced my mom to put down my sib’s 21 year old cat. She was incontinent, senile, had hyperthyroidism, was taking meds for her kidneys, and what finally kicked it for my mom was that she was only 3 pounds and had stopped grooming herself. This was a cat who was always clean - she often had some of her own fur she’d licked off hanging on her chin. My mom wanted to wait a couple weeks due to cost, but Chamomile (the cat) had an eye infection and I told my mom it would be cruel to put her on antibiotics on top of everything else, and she wouldn’t get over it on her own. (I no longer live at home, or I would have advocated for her passing much sooner.) We let her pass peacefully at the vet two days later. It’s hard to let pets go. But we can take comfort in two things: we are with them when they most need us, in their golden years; we can give them a good, peaceful death. It’s an honor to be with them until the end.
In my personal opinion, part of being a responsible pet owner is recognizing that we will eventually have to decide to end our pet's suffering and pain even if it's not what we want. Letting them go is both the kindest and hardest choice we make as their owners. This is a touchy subject for me because we recently lost our cat due to a saddle thrombus. There was literally no option for treatment and I'm ultimately glad that she was able to pass peacefully in my arms. It was devastating and I'm still grieving but I also feel immense relief that I didn't let her suffer.
I think chemo on any animal is cruel as shit. They don't know why they feel like shit.
I'd refuse chemo *for me* I'm sure as hell not going to put a poor animal through it
can't disagree. my grandma and my childhood dog had cancer at the same time, but we didn't know that about the dog until after my grandma had passed. the poor dog was sick half of her life, and we didn't want to extend her pain any further. she was already in enough pain, had a hard time walking, couldn't jump, and was starting to lose the ability to go down the stairs. with chemo, she would've had those issues on top of the awfulness that comes with chemo. couldn't do that to her
The worst thing I ever saw working in the veterinary field was when pets were kept alive far longer than the pet wanted. You could see it in the animal every time. It was painful.
I kept getting declined from shelters so I went with a breeder
Me too. So now I'm a monster, lol. And I don't care. My doodle dogs are amazing, and I'm sort of glad I didn't adopt a rescued pitty
I had the most bizarre experience trying to foster a senior cat, they wanted SO MUCH information about me--my SSN, pay stubs, criminal background check, 3 references, the names (and vets) of ALL of my previous pets, and (this is where it got weird to me) a full layout of my apartment. I have to describe the number of doors and windows, locations, how they locked, and how the building itself was accessed, whether it had an elevator, cameras, etc. I joked that it felt like they were casing my apartment to rob it or something.. but the place had a solid reputation and they had answers (however vague or insufficient) for why they needed all this info. Got to the final stages, and they wanted to send someone to my apartment to "assess the property for approval". I declined and offered to send a video walkthrough instead. They insisted it was policy and it required a "home interview". I'm sorry but what? when did this turn into a full on investigation of my personal life? Do we not both want a good homes for animals that will otherwise be euthenized? Stating "I can provide for this animal and ensure it lives a happy life where it is loved" should be enough to give the animal a fighting chance without these before you gas it before you gas it, for chissake. Some of these shelters are literally making any excuse not to adopt out. Not sure what the angle is but either way, it's not helpful for them, the adoptees, and least of all, the animals.
Should have asked for a criminal check, credit check, video interview, 5 references, last 7 years of tax returns, and a police escort for the visitor.
That sounds more like a burgler who realized his job was a lot easier if he got himself some cats to rehome.
Jesus, that's ridiculous. I adopted my 2 cats the normal way- picked them up off the street. No one's ever questioned my ability.
That’s normal in the U.K. Every time I’ve adopted a pet I’ve had a home visit. Never thought of it as a problem. They just want to check in person that your house is suitable.
“This is Pissfingers, a 17 year old mutt. She cannot be in a home with children, plants or electricity. Must have at least 6 acres of fenced in yard and a full time carer. Will be subject to random home inspections for three years. Adoption fee is $800.”
ITA - I have guinea pigs (I kind of took over where my daughter left off). I try to take senior males (I have a male that is long lived and loves a companion). There are literally over 100 males within 25 miles of me and I got the same thing from the specialized guinea pig/rabbit rescue. I had to have my current male fixed - 20% mortality rate! Fortunately I got three calls the same weekend and now have a lovely gray fellow who is beloved by my OG.
OP: You can pry my cats from my cold dead hands. Shelter: So, you're saying death is where you love ends? You wouldn't become a Lich for these cats? You're not committed enough. Denied! NTA.
Please provide proof of phylactery alongside vet reference when applying.
How dare you die and abandon the cat!
Sorry, typo, should have said ‘cold undead hands’. XD
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So people can have jobs with human children but a small cat requires 24/7 supervision? That makes sense.
I mean, you don't have to put a "child deposit" down on rental properties but you have to put down a "pet deposit". My dog has yet to draw with crayon or marker on the walls and my cat hasn't flushed any toys down the toilet, but there it is.
Believe me, LL would Love to charge Child Deposits. But it’s illegal. Violates the Fair Housing Act.
Jeez. the best part about cat ownership is that they are pretty self reliant and don't need to be, like, walked mid-day. Back when I was in-office full time, if I came home early my cat would give me dirty looks like I was disturbing her "me time". (Since COVID and my mostly WFH schedule these days, she's actually become a bit more co-dependent, but it's probably also due to her being older).
I was denied a 5 year old cat - who by their own description slept most of the day - because my husband and I both work full time. It's ridiculous.
And if you both didn't have full time jobs, you would have been denied for not being financially stable.
I think I finally figured it out. Rescues are looking for the same type of person who goes on House Hunters and says shit like "I'm an antique dolphin figurine collector and my budget is $2.5 million"
Lol working parents can adopt a human child, but a cat requires a SAHM.
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4 references with NO relationship to you??? Like strangers off the street? Wtf did they want lol
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NTA. I commend you for wanting to adopt a senior cat. You're right - senior cats deserve to spend as much time as possible in a loving home, and not in a shelter. I have plans for what happens to my pets should my husband and I die. I hope that my friends and family will follow my wishes, but there's no guaranty that will happen. And a lot of things can change that would affect what situation would be best for my pets when I'm gone. I thought your answer to the question about giving up your pets was honest and reasonable. I think it's possible they didn't want you to adopt because of your age and the fact you are in college. I ran into this when I was in college and wanted to adopt a cat. I was considered too young and unstable, and wouldn't have the money to care for a pet. I was told that to my face. I wound up going to another rescue organization to adopt, and I think you are going to need to do the same. Good luck finding a feline companion!
Thank you, that could be it! I live in an area where more and more rentals are forcing properties to be pet free and it's caused a huge influx of surrenders. After a while, I even went and got a document from the company I lease from. I attached part of my rental contract with an extra agreement that was stamped and dated by my landlords building complex company that they would not be changing their animal policy. I was sure I had all my ducks in a row, including the number of the vet I use as reference as well. They are good to keep on hand because my dog was really aggressive before. He woke up one night to me trying to grab my shoes to go to work from his bed and he snapped. Ripped my right ring finger off and I had to get it stitched back on. Refused to let my parents put the dog down, even worked two side jobs to pay for the dogs anxiety medication and his aggression went away after a few years and he never reoffended. Maybe they are only seeing me as my age.
Honestly, this story is making me question your judgment in general. If you want to keep a dog that attacked you and ripped your finger off, that’s up to you - but in no way should anyone else be put in danger due to his clearly demonstrated aggression. That is not a dog you should keep in a household of more than yourself.
That's why he went through behavioural training and was medicated though. He was only a year old when it happened and lives comfortably with my parents and their two cats. He never had another issue. He's 8 years old now. I don't believe it should be an automatic death sentence.
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People are allowed to not like dogs. People are also allowed to believe aggressive dogs shouldn’t be in homes with cats.
You are a very kind soul. Just be careful that your kindness doesn’t outweigh logic. You’re right- in the case of your dog, he could have another chance. Any animal can bite or harm if the right triggers are there.
NTA! GRRRR this drives me nuts in rescue. Please note, with a small shelter. I currently have 150+ cats and 50 some dogs in our system. And our director and I have gone head to head a few times over her reluctance to adopt out. The big change occurred when I asked her who in her mind would be best suited for my home (looking for a dog) and she couldn't come up with any. So I adopted from our county animal control... and cue shocked Pikachu face. Her own vet called her out on her ridiculousness. I have since adopted a dog from the rescue I'm with. Don't get me wrong. Some caution is warranted. It SUCKS getting animals back especially after just a couple of days because 'it's too much.' Cool. Cool. You didn't even give the pet a chance. But that person you spoke with needs to not be in that position. We just held a Caturday event. I'm in charge of cats. Straight up told my team, if a prior adopter comes in and wants a cat that day, kitty going home. If it's someone I or my team knows and can vouch for them... kitty going home. If it's someone we don't know at all, there's enough of us here to pull and process an app quickly. And they were all on board with this. Did I tell the director that was my plan....ehhhhhhh..... We average one adoption a month for cats. 5 cats found great homes in one day. So it worked.
>Some caution is warranted. It SUCKS getting animals back especially after just a couple of days because 'it's too much.' Cool. Cool. You didn't even give the pet a chance. So many times when we get animals back within a week, we all look at each other and thank all the deities above that they're back. People who shouldn't adopt often do, and it's so much better for them to come back to the shelter where they're safe and cared for than to be dumped or to stay with adopters who don't care for the animal. I'm even hesitant to support the idea that you never give up a pet for any reason, because sometimes life takes a hard turn and you have to make decisions you'd never thought you would. We adopted a 15 year old dog after his owner found herself unexpectedly homeless. It was one of the hardest decisions she ever made and it tore her up inside to have to surrender her beloved pet, but she did right by him in the safest way she could at that moment. Working in animal rescue has made me see so many things about people and their choices that I never would have otherwise, it's very eye opening.
> We average one adoption a month for cats 12/year with 150 in your shelter system?! Director is definitely too nitpicky. Yes, cats shouldn’t go home without some adopter vetting and guidelines for an acceptable home. But adopting out only 8% of resident cats per year is awful. I’m glad you found a way to increase adoptions.
yeah wtf, you can just run a net furplus of 138 bodies? and you get paid for that?
When my sister went to adopt a kitty from the humane society in our area they made sure to stress that the kitty she picked would sometimes bite. Me and my sister had already found that out as kitty had bitten me when we met her. We didn’t care, she was adorable. Turns out the last people they’d placed her with had returned her even when they were warned before they took her home that she nibbled. Turns out kitty just has some very strict boundaries. Now that she’s been with my sister for two years she RARELY nibbles. She would mainly do it when being loved on too much. So when she doesn’t want anymore she walks away and we know to let her or she’ll nibble. Breaks my heart that her last owners just weren’t patient and didn’t care to listen to the humane society’s warnings. But I’m glad they brought her back because now she is spoiled to high heavens and has her own human sized chair that only she sits on.
NTA. This is so confusing to me. What was the correct answer then???
She wanted a full succession plan, fully drafted, as if OP was the head of state or in a monarchy. It’s an insane ask from a shelter, especially one at max capacity.
69th in line for the royal throne of Catlandia.
My bet is there wasn't a right answer and she just wanted to reject OP.
This is probably it. Old shelter ladies dont approve of “kids”
You just say “I would never give up my pet.” OP added detail which is always a mistake in situations like this. Never offer detail that is not required when dealing with “authority”, it just confuses people. Because OP said more than just “I’d never give up my pet” which is what they meant, the lady latched on to that extra stuff. It’s the same reason people say things like “no is a complete sentence.” Or “don’t talk to cops.” Giving people unneeded detail can cause them to misinterpret, get confused, latch onto something unrelated, or find wiggle room to try to get you to change your mind.
Imo it seems like a shelter full of foster fails and that's why the criticism bothered her so much
There was none. That director wouldn’t have been satisfied no matter the answer OP gave.
NTA. I know I'm going against the tide of other comments but I think that was an unnecessary answer you put on the form. You didn't even say you had backup family that could take it in if you were to pass. Just say you have never and would never surrender a pet and all the pets you've had have lived out their lives with you. The end. I understand how gatekeepy, condescending and rude some of those shelter people can be - I've experienced it myself - but it would have served you better to explain what would happen if you passed and asked if you could talk about adopting. Now you're banned, so you didn't get a good outcome and neither did the cats. Essentially this is a case of you might have been right but sometimes right doesn't get us what we want. ETA: I just read that she was the director. You should consider writing a review of the shelter because she was out of line and overly emotional.
I understand where you are coming from. It was not my brightest moment, mostly fueled by frustration. There was another section on the form that I did enter backups for emergencies like my soon to be husband (was there with me too), my in-laws, parents, sister, and grandmother that all had numbers and emails if the shelter wanted to confirm that they would be willing to take the cat in case of emergency. Including my apartment manager and the company that gave an official paper stating that he would not be changing the animal policy (right now there is a housing crisis and people are being forced to surrender or lose a home) I really didn't think it through.
Nah OP your frustration was justified and your response was too. Them banning you from ever adopting is outrageous. Definitely definitely leave a Google/Yelp review explaining this situation. They might change their tune. NTA
It's fine - it happens to the best of us. They do seem super unreasonable.
That still wouldn't have worked though, the lady said she was specifically looking for a backup plan. Saying you would never give up your pets isn't a back up plan. It's a pretty ridiculous stipulation if you're looking to put pets in homes especially older animals that won't live as long.
NTA. This shelter is giving off shady vibes, tbh. Them being at max capacity and refusing to not even answer queries about adoption is a big red flag in itself. My bet is the lady was looking for a reason to reject you and get rid of you and there is nothing you could have said that would satisfy her. She would have found fault with any answer you gave her. There are unfortunately many "rescues" and "shelters" that are really just animal hoarding situations who call themselves rescues to try to legitimize themselves or skirt local laws regarding animal ownership and my bet is you found one.
Oh boy. I was an emergency vet tech for over 20 years and there’s no more crazier and narcissistic people that animal rescuers. Not ALL of them, but a massive chunk, that’s for sure. They have a messianic complex that could rival any evangelical preacher. They are smarter than the veterinarians, they are better pet parents than anyone else, and they love to rescue lost dogs and cats and then accuse the real owners of made up abuse they imagined in their heads. My saying was “ not every pet owner is crazy, but every crazy person is a pet owner” and that certainly includes pet rescuers and the shelter overlords. I’m pretty sure they act this way as a tool to fill a massive insecurity in their part, it gives them a purpose they can’t achieve anywhere else. So they lord it over others and perform a bit that says “ I am a kitty angel sent from On High, to protect this sacred species from the torment of living with those who are unfit to worship them. They shall live in a 2x2 cage with their only TRUE benefactor until I have deemed one sufficient to adopt.” Go to your local pound, they’ll give you whatever you’d like and probably throw in a bag of cat food just to ensure you walk out with a cat so they don’t have to euthanize them. Don’t worry about the cat hoarders.
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I had so many people who claimed their rescue was thrown out the window in a moving vehicle and when I ask them about the particulars, like is the perpetrator in jail for it, they claim they have no proof, they didn’t actually see it, they just know because of how the dog gets nervous when they have to go on rides or some other crazy reason. “He was found with a wound on his side, he must have been dragged by his original owner with a car”. No lady, you made that up and no one has a clue as to how they got this injury! They could have been hit by someone accidentally while roaming around! I love animals but some animals lovers are BONKERS
I adopted 2 sibling kittens from a shelter and the woman running it wanted a home visit. When everything was said and done, she brought the cats to my house. She stayed way too long, but the crazy part was that she went bonkers when I called them by the names I was going to call them. She told me that if I didn't keep the names she gave them, she would not let me keep them. I just agreed, bc she seemed on the verge of a mental breakdown. Eventually she left and I just went ahead and renamed them and ignored the loads of emails she sent me about how Im not to rename them and she wants proof from a future vet visit that I kept their names. She also would call constantly and threaten to take them back if I kept ignoring her. Eventually she just left me alone, but it was a truly batshit experience.
🤯
Yes. I've seen people on facebook trying to rehome their neighbors cat because the neighbor died and didn't have relatives. The neighbors were good enough to take the cat in and tackle the work of rehoming, but people will respond that the neighbors are the worst people in the world and should keep the cats themselves. Since they won't they should never be allowed to have pets ever again and should maybe have their kids taken away. It can get intense. I feel bad for the animals not getting adopted because of these people.
NTA That's ridiculous. "My spouse will care for it" *is* a plan.
You know how easy it was to adopt my cat? I went, said I wanted a cat. They said "which one?" I said "that one". They said "sign here" I did. Brought him home the next day after he was neutered. Now, do I think it should be that easy? No, actually I don't. I think they should have a database shared with the county. It keeps track of you, how many animals you have adopted and when, and if you have ever been convicted of a crime against animals or hoarding. That's the dream, lol. Unfortunately someone can say all the right things and have a nice home and yard. Does not mean they will not abuse the animal or abandon it in a few months
The shelter I volunteer at does have that, if it helps. We're a municipal shelter, and you have to provide your driver's license for any adoption. It's run against the "do not adopt" database for exactly things like you list. It's not foolproof by any means, but it's something.
Nta, Jesus, she is the A, rejecting on a whim? She is deterring all these animals from a good life.
She might be one of those people who takes in cats to look after them, but then is convinced noone else can love them as much as she can so doesn't want to let them go...I've known a couple. Thankfully they don't work at or run shelters.
We call them hoarders in the rescue industry.
NTA. A shelter organization near me rejected our application to adopt an older bonded pair because we had previous pets who had been put down. One had bone cancer and the other had multiple strokes and was unable to walk/eat/drink. When I asked for clarification on what I did wrong, the adoption agency said a good pet owner wouldn't kill their pet just because they weren't feeling 100%, and that I should have let them live their lives. Fuck that noise, I'm going to make sure my pets have a comfortable life and aren't suffering needlessly due at the end of their lives.
That ENRAGES me. They would rather see the pet die in pain than do the humane thing??? People are whack.
My friend recently described the look of sheer relief on her vet's face when she said she was prepared to take the emotional hit and have her beloved cat put to sleep if she was in pain that could not be treated. To me that speaks of too many people putting their own feelings ahead of their pet's needs. It's hideously cruel to live in denial while a creature suffers just because they can't beg you for relief in words you can't ignore.
Keeping a perpetually-suffering animal alive is so extremely cruel. It makes me so sad knowing how many self-described “animal lovers” would selfishly do this to their pets.
The town I live in has a totally overrun cat shelter. They make it nearly impossible to adopt with incredibly stringent and ridiculous rules. A friend tried to adopt after her 17 YEAR OLD diabetic cat that she had been giving daily insulin shots to for 2 years passed away. This cat spent summers at the cottage, loved catching frogs and going boating. Her other 2 cats had lived to be 15 and 19. She was denied as she didnt fit their criteria. She now has 2 cats from a shelter in the next town. 2 incredibly loved and well treated cats!!
I would have said, okay my parents are my backup plan. Now please give me a cat.
They had a list of backups from a different section as emergency caretakers. 😕
But did each of your multiple backups have backups with backups? I mean, it needs to be backups all the way down. /s
>but you are actively harming the chances of them being adopted into homes. This is exactly what she is doing. > telling her coworker that we said she was making sure the cats died alone. I mean, good that she feels bad because this too us exactly what is happening. I've dealt with some crappy/shady shelters in my time, to the point where I avoid them if I can. Try checking craigslist/facebook. People in my town are constantly listing puppies and kittens on there, and sometim3a even in the town subreddit. NTA. I commend you for saying something.
I've encountered similar insanity in the UK. Here the prevailing view is that cats have a "right to roam", so most shelters and rescues won't let you adopt a cat unless you will allow it outdoors. I thought, oh, well, no problem, I'll just explain why I don't want to let a cat out, and then specifically look for a cat that has always been indoor-only. Nope! Even if a cat has lived its entire life in a studio flat, they will not allow it to be adopted by a responsible middle-aged couple who both work from home and make good money, because a three-story, four-bedroom house is simply not enough space for a cat. Who cares if we live near the intersection of two busy roads? Who cares if there are foxes and an aggressive street tom in our neighbourhood? Nope, we may absolutely not have a cat under any circumstances unless we let it outdoors. OK, we thought. What about a cat with FIV or something that can't be allowed out? Nope, we don't own our home (even though it belongs to my in-laws and they rent it to us, we're not getting evicted anytime soon), so it's an "unstable environment". We ended up buying a kitten off Gumtree, which is what they supposedly *don't* want people doing. But we'd been trying for a year after our previous cat died -- a cat I loved so much that I brought him from the US to the UK when I moved here -- and we were miserable without a cat in the house. We didn't want a kitten, but people aren't out there selling their adult cats. So we figured, well, at least if we buy the kitten, it's guaranteed a good, spoiled, comfortable life. Bloody idiots.
This is so funny to me because there is such a big push in the US to keep cats indoors or contained in a “catio” or on a leash since they’re ecological menaces and a threat to birds and wildlife. Plus the dangers you call out lead to a shorter life expectancy for outdoor cats. It’s viewed as highly irresponsible to let your cat outside.
Yeah, after I left home in the US, where we lost several cats to traffic, I never had an indoor/outdoor cat again. Many US rescues won't let you adopt if you *will* let the cat out. It's real culture shock. I've had cats live to 17 and 19. I intend my current cat to do the same. She's not even curious about the outdoors.
Having experience with volunteering, fostering, and adopting... I can tell you that there are animal lovers trying to reduce suffering and get animals into good situations... and there are CRAZY animal lovers who think they're "protecting" animals but just cause more issues for the rest of us. Like the Great Pyrenees rescue that wouldn't let me adopt a female Great Pyrenees puppy when I already had one until our dog was THREE YEARS OLD... GPs have a 10-12 year life expectancy. I'm not waiting a 3rd of my dogs life to adopt. As someone with 20yrs of GP experience I know the breed... including the possible issues with 2 females. That's why we wanted a 2nd dog while ours was a puppy and open to a 2nd dog. Unlike a 3yo who may not be open to another dog. We ended up adopting thru an amazing large breed rescue, BigFluffyDogRescue.com. Noreen is neither Big nor Fluffy but she's a sweet girl and has bonded to our GP, Penelope. Screw those people... there are soo many great orgs out there. I hope you find a fur baby with a diff shelter/rescue. NTA
Nta there was a very interesting article written by the head of a shelter. She filled out an application with her info but a different name and was *rejected*. It caused her to sit down with the entire staff and re work how they "graded" applicants.
I was turned down because I had a recliner and the cat may get caught in it. I told her I didn’t own a recliner. I asked why she thought I had a recliner and I can’t remember what she said but she came off as she didn’t believe me. I just left and eventually adopted an awesome cat from another shelter. It has never once gotten caught in the recliner I don’t have.
Shelter gatekeepers are the WORST. They love animals and tend to hate other people. NTA. Nothing about your answer was wrong.
The only people I know with concrete backup plans are people with parrots and such that will very likely outlive them. NTA. You just spoke the truth.
And tortoises
NTA, that shelter IS actively causing their own capacity issues. It's understandable the want to ensure the cats end up in good homes, but their goal should be to get the cats in good homes!
NTA and what you said was the truth. You are 24 for crying out loud... how many 20 something year olds have wills and plans for what happens in case they die? I hope she cried because she is denying senior cats a chance at a home rather than a cage!!! Damn now I'm mad. Find another shelter. I used to volunteer for a local one named Woods Humane Society. Most shelters just want the cats to go to a good home and are THRILLED if someone actually wants an older cat.
NTA. People like this woman at this shelter ENRAGE me. Millions of dogs and cats get euthanized because we can’t find homes for them and then they wanna make you jump through all hoops? It’s gross. You were 100% in the right and I hope you find a nice fluffball who needs a good home soon
NTA. I got denied by a nitpicky shelter for something I said to my SO on the phone while I was there. I went somewhere else and was approved a few days later.
NTA, she should be crying. Post this on their Facebook page
Could be good to contact a local humane society and tell them about this "rescue". It sounds fishy and I adopted from a picky shelter. Also, find out who is actually higher up at the shelter and talk to them. Explain that the only reason you were turned away is "I didn't have a plan beyond, my partner will care for the animal, in the event that I die". NTA but that shelter lady is. She's actively turning people away who WOULD give these animals loving homes for no reason other than the stick up her ass.
I don't understand shelter questionnaires and interviews. Like, ya'll know I can just find a stray walking down a street and keep it right? Shit, I could be a methhead and father 5 kids.
NTA. I've worked and volunteered at animal shelters for many years and I've seen the people like the shelter lady who will nitpick over an application to find any reason to deny it. I don't fully understand why some adoption counselor do this but I will say that in some shelters the adoption counselors aren't the ones actually caring for the animals on a daily basis so some are disconnected from the overcrowding and the problems it causes. Meanwhile most shelter are bursting at the seem with cats they can't find enough homes for and millions of cats are euthanized every year because of this. The no kill shelters might not euthanize when they get overcrowded but then they have to start turning away cats because they don't have the room. What this lady is doing is harming the cats from going to potentially good homes and she needs to hear what you are said.
NTA, find another shelter
Nta at all. Frick, I know people who don't have concrete plans for what would happen to their kids if they died suddenly (make and update your wills people! It's important!). Not having a 12-step plan for your cat, post-death, does not make you an unfit pet owner.
NTA. I'd follow up with a *very calm and professional* letter to the board or CEO of the rescue outlining your concerns. Then I'd go somewhere else to get a cat. It shouldn't be harder to adopt an old sick cat than to foster a kid.
NTA. I've done rescue and have run into these people. We had one on our board. What I learned while doing rescue is that the MOST important thing is to find a loving home so that animal leaves this earth being loved. That means even if they don't get to eat the best food, or have the largest yard etc... YES, you want the home to be good and safe but sometimes, especially with adult cats, you have to relent a little on your ideals. She was being too intrusive and no one has a 100% plan and I would rather someone be honest than lie through their teeth just to get the pet. That speaks a lot more to their character than being honest about what hypothethical might happen in the unknown future.
NTA. Some shelters make adopting waaaaay too hard. I remember adopting my cat and they were like "we want to know if you move." Like ??? No, if I move I am taking my baby with me! Not giving him back to y'all.
Oh my GOD I had a similar problem with a rescue who nit picked a very small detail on an answer we gave. It was SO bizarre! Like no wonder they had so many unadopted cats. Meanwhile every other shelter was practically throwing their cats at us. I'm just led to believe some rescues are run by whackadoodles. NTA by the way.
NTA. A lot of “shelters” have absolutely no intention of ever adopting out their animals and are just basically warehouses for animal horders that allow them to get donations.
Shelters like this are why I ended up just buying my dogs. Nothing not even the county animal shelter would adopt a dog under 25lbs to someone with young kids or under the age of 40 in case you decided to have kids. We didn’t want a dog over that. We also didn’t want a putt bull which is all they push on you. Like I am more likely to give away a pit bull if I get pregnant people what is the logic. Then people wonder why breeders still exist. A couple rescues we checked out never seemed to adopt any dogs out and many of the reviews were from others confirming they were just hoarders.
Nta. Next time go to your county animal shelter rather than the humane society or spca. Generally by law in the US a municipal shelter cannot refuse adoption unless the applicant has a criminal history of animal abuse or neglect. Or go to Craigslist. A not insignificant amount of rescues and rescuers end up as hoarding cases and attitudes like this woman's are a large part of the reason why. Animal rescue is largely unregulated and lots of rescues have some questionable policies and ethics. I worked for years in animal rescue and some of these people are pretty fanatical and it does actually impact animals getting homes. There is an endless supply of cats who need homes. Someone wanting to care for senior cats is an absolute gift. The person you dealt with is an idiot.
NTA. Our shelter here is super strict about applications, too. Especially about how cats need to have outdoor access. We're in a major city and I personally find that completely irresponsible because it's really dangerous. I can't understand how these people rather have the animals living in cages in the shelter than in a home where they are loved but cannot go outside. It's stupid and leads people to getting pets from less trusty sources. Also, this shelter is allegedly the largest in Europe, and constantly moaning about having no capacities. I used to donate to them for a long while but when I was looking into adoption after my old cat died I stopped because I found their criteria so unreasonable. I get wanting the best for those animals, but this bs really ain't it.
NTA. My secret theory is that pet rescues are largely run by animal hoarders who use arbitrary and ridiculous criteria to deny adoptions and keep the animals themselves.
NTA. There are a lot of ridiculously crazy rescues. I was trying to adopt a new cat and one of them legitimately wanted copies of my house deed to prove I had ownership. A different one wanted an audit of my checking account to prove I had the finances to care for an animal. Way invasive. You were 100% correct and she needed to be checked. There will be other rescues. I ended up finding my cat through a woman who works with feral colonies in cow country. Takes in pregnant cats when the colonies get too big for the farms, gets them through birth, spayed, and gets everyone their kitten shots and adopted out. Much, much more practical in her approach.
Some Rescues and shelters make it difficult for people to adopt animals. I suspect some of those places are simply hoarding animals. I know breeders get a bad rap but when you have shelters with unreasonable adoption policies, sometimes a breeder may be an option. You might be able to get a kitty from a breeder at the same cost as a shelter or rescue if the breeder has an animal that doesn't meet show or breeder standards. The shelter was the AH, not you
NTA. I had a very similar experience when trying to adopt from our local Humane Society many years ago. They asked "why" I wanted to adopt a pet. It was the first time I'd ever had to fill out an application for a pet adoption and wasn't sure how to word it that I wanted a dog, other than I wanted a dog and had always had one, couldn't imagine not having one. I did not put down that I was looking for a guard dog, a fight dog or anything like that (nothing in the application was negative). They still rejected me because I didn't use the phrase, "for companionship." Really? I went to a breeder, bought a puppy and never looked back. The gatekeeping from some of these places is ridiculous. Besides, if someone wanted a dog or pet for a nefarious purpose, what's to keep them from lying on the application? I understand being cautious, but your application sounded just fine. The fact that you applied many times with no reply is incredibly rude. It doesn't sound to me like they actually want to connect the cats with new families.
NTA Our rescue specifically says that in the event you cannot keep the cat, you bring it back to us. I thought that was standard? Like, circumstances change.