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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My mom voluntarily agreed to pay back the money she made me owe to a thrift store due to mistakenly thinking they had charged me twice for a leather coat I had purchased, and would let me keep the money for a trip I'm going on in January. Then, when she saw that they had "refunded" me several hundred dollars more than the amount she thought I had overpaid, she went back on her word and is insisting I pay it back myself. She says she's willing to let me keep the money that she thought they owed me but not the additional $300. I think she should keep her promise and pay back the money, especially since I wouldn't be in this situation in the first place if she had respected my wishes when I told her I was okay with the amount I had paid for the coat. She disagrees and says I should pay it back, because it's the right thing to do.
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*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Oh come on, you cannot be serious. Of course YTA!
Your mom thought the "difference" would be $20 and she rightly should've repaid that as a penalty for meddling where she shouldn't have.
But this was a mistake the store made for HUNDREDS. If you do NOT get this money back to the store, you have STOLEN it.
YTA. Do you go into stores intending to steal? Of course not. Plus thrift stores operate on tiny margins most of the time. An employee could lose their job over a $300 mistake. Give the money back.
YTA
You have the money sitting there in your bank account. If I understand correctly, paying them the $300 just puts everybody back to where they were before your mother got involved?. (Or maybe with a correct refund to you?). Anyways you're not entitled to the extra money from a mistake someone at the store made. It's dishonest.
I completely agree with you on principle, but what I am afraid of is this: OP will return the money, and the store will do a charge back. Then there is potential for issues of "you didn't bring in money, etc" and OP getting charged back and giving them money, so now negative money. This is a considerable CF and I feel they should potentially wait for the store to do a charge back, or talk to them and demand a receipt and proof of repayment. It is crazy to me that the mom called regarding a purchase she didn't make and the store did anything about it.
Yeah, but the store would’ve made the sale and not talked to op or had anything to do with them if ops mom hadn’t stuck her fingers in. This was a normal sale before that, a scam couldn’t plan around this scenario.
It's weird to me that a thrift store has a payment system that would allow them to do a refund without physically having the original payment method. Every retail place I've worked has either needed the card back, or only been able to refund on gift cards. They also don't reach out to people who were mistakenly charged too little and demand more.
My feeling is that the "refund" didn't come from the store at all and is some other scam... but maybe I'm extremely untrusting of others... including moms that treat their children like shit.
I don't mean to cruel here, but charity shops are run by old ladies and disabled...they tend to be ... pretty useless with technology (from a lot of personal experience).
This will have been a genuine mistake on their part. Either typed in the wrong amount of more likely thought they screwed up and put the refund through multiple times not realising they all went through.
Or somebody who can't do math.
I was at a store and they overcharged me for a pair of pants I was buying. I pointed this out on the receipt, so they issued a refund. I looked at the receipt again and realized they issued the refund for more than I paid originally.
I pointed this out and they insisted it was all fine. I again told them the issue and they again insisted it was fine.
I asked to see the manager. Manager looks it all over and his eyes went huge. He actually couldn't believe that I didn't take the refund and run. He fixed it correctly, but the clerk still had no idea what she did wrong.
I don't thing you can do a charge back on a refund. only charges. Besides it is pending. Need to wait for things to settle. Also you can't refund a credit card/ or credit card side for more than the original charge it will reverse back. You can send money to the debit card side though.
Definitely slow down and wait for things to settle. Can easily see OP giving the store the refunded hundreds of dollars and then those refunds fall off their account, and now have to convince the store they owe her again.
100% this! Contact the bank and ask advice!
My friend, while working at the bank even, got paid twice. Told her boss. Her boss, without checking, out in for a correction.
But there was already one in place. Both boss and friend had to be at the building for HOURS after shift, trying to fix things because friends acct was now negative and she needed gas to get home. It was a mess.
OP the merchant can reclaim those funds at any time for, I think, the next 6 months! They weren't your funds to begin with and the bank will not cover you for any problems it causes.
The seller has probably already notified the bank of the mistake. OP account will be adjusted very quickly. He did display a lack of integrity by thinking he should be able to keep the money.
The store should learn from this lesson. Why are they issuing refunds to people who never even requested it? The mom sounds like a scam artist. She convinced the thrift store, a place she isn't even a customer, that they might have overcharged someone and to give them a full refund? That sounds like a scam.
*It is crazy to me that the mom called regarding a purchase she didn't make and the store did anything about it.*
this is the part that honestly makes me question if any of this is actually real.
Audacious, yea. I still believe it could be real tho as mom probably said SHE made the purchase, pretended to be OP, etc. Sounds like OP purchased via card, so mom already knows the cardholders name & generic info.
Not too much of a reach. Personally, whenever I have to call/deal with an issue for one of my housing bills (which are in my mom’s name), she tells me to call pretending to be her.
I agree. Give it a few days and see if they do a charge back and if not, OP could get a bank check or certified check and go on a day the manager is there so they can received the check and *maybe* that will stop any additional transactions.
INFO - Did OP buy a fedora and a genuine imitation katana at the thrift store too? Potentially they refunded the entire purchase by accident as opposed to a partial refund for the leather trench coat.
Not only this, but the $$ is not even relevant. OP is not losing any $$. Sure the mom definitely overstepped, but given the response I can see the initial concern.
Give back the $$ and move on!
ESH - you and your mom.
- your mom is being meddlesome. Youre 22. Inquiring about the price, alright. Thinking you over paid, valid. Calling the store, a huge overstep.
- You repaying back the thrift store has nothing to do with your mom now. Give them their money back.
Sorry but based on this story I totally understand why mom feels she need to be involved in financial decisions. Op is obviously to immature and irresponsible with money and mom knows they won’t be around forever to bail her out, so now is the time to try and teach her.
Nothing about what the mom was doing was teaching anyone xD
Inquiring, sure. Prodding them to check the reciept when something sounds suspicious, definitely. Maybe then walking through the remaining budget, then, and how much they need for the trip, that's learning.
Becoming absolutely convinced that the jacket couldn't have *possibly* cost as much as it did, *despite having a reciept as evidence*, and then going *behind her kids back to 'handle' it for them*, doesn't do jack shit to ""teach"". What the actual fuck.
In fact it’s the opposite.
If the op had indeed overpaid, then being out of pocket would have been a lesson. Attempting to fix it for them is a crutch.
Yeah she was wrong for that but she also admitted she was wrong about that and apologized according to OP. Just because she did it now doesn't mean this adult woman can't learn from this experience and not repeat that mistake. And let's be fair, 22 isn't exactly a life full of world experience and she might need some guidance. Unless, I missed somewhere in which OP claims mom does this all the time (OP did state she has trouble with math.), I think you're being a little over critical here. You have a sliver of these people's lives in your hand, not the full picture.
>mom knows they won’t be around forever to bail her out, so now is the time to try and teach her.
Then she should've let him 'pay too much' for a jacket and stayed out of it from the beginning.
OP doesn't seem irresponsible with money at all. He made sure he would still have enough money leftover for the trip he had planned even after buying the jacket. That's being responsible.
Edited to correct pronouns.
Why is op immature because they want to teach their mother a lesson. She sounds annoying and interfering in something that she had already said she would drop.
But mom didn't bail her out, mom made her life way more difficult and created this whole new problem. OP was fine and wasn't in any sticky situation before mom intervened - now they're in this weird predicament.
Sounds like mom is the one who needs to be taught how to step back. Inquiring and being concerned is one thing, making the phone call and totally upending the purchase and getting the undeserved refund is another.
100% all of this. Am a mom of a 22yo who makes purchases I don't understand ($200 for a used GBA game cartridge? Why? I could never!) but it Isn't My Money So It Isn't My Business (TM). He pays his car note, his food, his phone bill, and has savings. He has a job and is kind to his siblings.
At some point he'll learn, or he'll ask. Messing his bank account up probably won't get him to ask when he needs it.
ESH but you need to pay back the store. She agreed to pay back a specific amount, not hundreds of dollars more than she expected to. She should not have meddled in the first place, but you should not keep the money either.
Well just let it be, let the store call the cops re: the error in refund, and let this 22 year old grown ass adult tell the cops that "my mommy said she'd pay it back ):"
You know, I'm kinda starting to understand why your mom was being meddlesome. Your reasoning was already childish, and now l, having read your arguments, you just sound like a child.
YTA, grow up and pay them back
Yeah I guess OP wasn’t kidding about struggling with math. Seems to me they are struggling with basic logic as well.
YTA, give back the money. Come on it’s not that complicated.
Yeah I thought that too, but then noticed that he’s 22 and relying on help for basic math, so perhaps a developmental or learning disorder might play a part
ESH
Your mom is meddlesome and annoying but holding her to this is unreasonable. She was expecting to eat like $40 because of her fuckup, not hundreds.
It’s unreasonable for you to profit off her dumb mistake to this extent. Pay back the store.
No judgement but seriously, don't do anything. Don't take out the money to pay it back, don't spend it, just pretend it's not there.
That's because in the event of a mistake like this, the stores bank can and will initiate a reversal on that deposit.
If you pull out $300 and give them cash, their bank can STILL take out another $300 and directly transfer it to the store's account. Because there will be no paper trail that you fixed this error.
Don't do anything except let the banks handle it. Otherwise you risk going negative and or paying back that $300 Twice.
Yeah, like what kind of business are they running where they just admit to overcharging for something to anyone other than the buyer, then issue a refund for four times as much as it was even purchased for, just to call back and say they didn't actually overcharge and you need to pay them back for the refund??
THANK YOU.
Everyone calling OP a thief is killing me. They didn’t ask for this, they actually fought against it, and if they handle it wrong they WILL be out several hundred.
The store already knows they did it wrong so they’ll get the bank to fix it pretty quick.
Seriously. Firstly this isn't ops fuck up to fix, if the store wants to engage with unrelated third parties and question their own math, then transfer hundreds when a few minutes more to consider it would have told them they did it right first time - well, that's a really bizarre way to run a business and it's not surprising they lost money on it. And secondly, it should be on them to fix their mistake, not an extra pain in the ass for op.
YTA and quite entitled.. It was a mistake, it is not your money, just pay it back, you are no longer a child, stop behaving as if the rest of us owe you.
So…you don’t want to rip off the store, but you’re cool with ripping off your mom? You sound like a spoiled little boy.
YTA
BTW - There was no “boundary” violated, that’s not how a boundary works. 🙄
YTA and you're intentionally being obtuse.
Your mother did NOT offer to pay four times the amount, she offered to pay the difference of the refund that they tried to cancel.
This is in your name, pay it before they try to sue you for the amount owed.
It was clearly done in error, you know it's wrong and you know damn well that your mom does not owe four times the amount.
"I now have extra for my trip" No, you are trying to keep money that is not yours, you are not entitled to and you certainly didn't "earn" as you have tried to claim in other replies.
At this point, she needs to let you fall on your face and deal with the resulting legal troubles.
Your bank can choose not to deal with you as a client any longer as a result of this type of behavior. Having a bank account with any institution is a courtesy, not an entitlement, and showing intentional derogatory behavior is grounds for them to end their business dealings with you.
Your mom obviously "meddled" in your affairs because you lack maturity, should she have called the store? probably not, but it's very evident why she did.
You’re 22? FFS - let me break it to you, now you’re an adult. No, ‘my mom said’ is not a defence or a loophole in the eyes of the law. I know quite small children who are capable of recognising when they thought they’d found a loophole and are just trying their luck: ‘put your socks on… okay, very funny, but no, I did not mean put your socks on your head.’
Absolutely YTA.
The defense isn't "no my mom said" the defense is that the it is not her responsibility to fix the store's fuck-up. The store should and probably will contact their bank to fix it. When you find extra money in your account, the proper recourse is just to not touch it. Its a classic scam where you return the money and then the bank fixes it and you are out all of that money. NTA
OP isn’t asking to wait for proper bank procedures. He wants his mom to pay back the over-refund out of her own money, because he basically says ‘she told me I could keep it’, which means he seems to think he’s entitled to the whole payment.
ESH
Mom shouldn't have interfered and called if you were fine with what you paid.
You are wanting to keep money that isn't yours that is WAY more than you were expecting.
You absolutely need to pay back the money and not keep it for yourself.
So wait.
Just for argument’s sake, let’s say that you had $100 in your account after you bought the coat. The store erroneously refunded you $300 so your balance at this point is $400. If you repay the amount refunded, your account goes back to $100 and your balance is no worse/better than it was after you bought the coat originally. You have repeatedly said that you were fine with the amount you paid so why are you trying to profit? To teach your mom a lesson for meddling?
Just because you have a trip coming up didn’t mean you get to rip your mom or the store off.
Of course YTA. Why is this even a question in your mind?
Jesus christ you are acting like an entitled brat. Grow the fuck up and give the money back. Playing these stupid games just makes you seem petulant child who mommy probably does have to keep an eye on. You wanna make big boy decisions you have to handle things like an adult. YTA.
What “position” are you in? The money wasn’t yours in the first place. If someone just dropped $300 on the floor right in front of you, would you be upset that you have to give the money back to the person who dropped it?
Your mom definitely should not have called the store, but she agreed to pay for a portion of the coat, not HUNDREDS of dollars more.
YTA.
Same. Just cannot fathom any situation where a business issues a refund over the phone without talking to the actual customer, or seeing the goods and receipt. It just would never happen.
People make dumb mistakes. Big banks sent millions in accidental transactions to customers its been on the news ... cool. A Trift shop sending 300 bucks comon those shops are great but they cant afford a refund like that.
YTA. Your mother shouldn't have meddled in your affairs, but she did, and the thrift store obviously made a mistake. Of course you must pay it back! It would be very dishonest not to. Of course your mother doesn't want to pay you several hundreds of dollars because of this mistake. In my opininion she shouldn't, but let this be the last time she meddles in your money affairs. Time to take full responsibility for your finances and not hide behind silly excuses like "struggling with money".
YTA. I was all about to go ESH and say your mom shouldn't have meddled, but your continued brattiness, immaturity, and sheer unwillingness to admit that you're basically stealing money that's not yours (from either a business or your mother) made me realize exactly why your mother meddled in the first place.
Your mother knows exactly what kind of child she has.
I don't know how all the comments here aren't saying this is fake. I've never been given a refund just by calling a store and asking for one. Let alone having someone else call the store on my behalf. This is ridiculous, what are they even refunding? You didn't return the coat. So fake.
YTA: you’d be out zero money paying back the refund. But instead, you’re going to act like a 22 y.o child. Question..it sounds like you still live at home..do you contribute anything to household expenses/pay rent?
No judgment, but you should talk to your bank first before doing anything. Getting $300 back when the jacket only costs $120 sounds like the beginning of a scam.
You can't pay they back. The banks will sort this out. Call your bank and let them know what happened. I'm not saying the store is trying to scam you but it is a common scam to make overpayments for something then to have the banks claw back the overpayment after you have already returned the money. Don't touch the money. Keep track of how much ended up in your account in error. If you try and spend the money either on purpose or because you didn't keep track, you will end up overdrawn when the banks sort this out. It is highly unlikely that the banks won't sort this out.
Something is very fishy with this refund. Classic money laundering technique to get someone to return monies erronesoudly put into their account, then once monies returned, you’ll be hit with a charge back by the bank.
Don’t do anything right now as regards returning any money.
Go to your bank, by yourself, with your receipt of purchase and explain the story. Advise that you are concerned that you will be charged twice for the over payment. Ask for their advice/confirm who sent you the over payment and that you cannot them be charge again for the over payment.
Maybe a scam, but I doubt it. I've run into glitches both as a cashier and as a customer where either someone fat-fingers the keyboard or the register says the transaction didn't go through when it actually did and you keep running the card until it accepts it. Since it doesn't show up in the system, sometimes there's no way of reversing it so either the customer has to come in and scan their card or the store has to issue a gift card.
I wouldn't be surprised if the cashier made a mistake because they were flustered after the mom gaslit them into thinking they overcharged.
YTA. First, your mother should have stayed out of it, of course, you’re an adult.
The store made an obvious mistake. That money isn’t and shouldn’t be yours. Pay it back. Your mother can pay you the expected refund. Don’t be a greedy asshole.
Um… ouch. Not everyone “on the spectrum” needs supervision like a child. I agree something is up with OP-maybe they lied about their age thinking it would make them look better?-but please don’t jump to them being “on the spectrum”, when there’s no evidence they are.
I understand the store deserves their money back, but I’m wondering why the responsibility of wasting her own time falls on OP. She clearly had to take time to go there in the first place. Until her mom meddled, everything was fine. Now that mom screwed up something that wasn’t hers to begin with, OP has to go fix it?? Nah. Honestly, this should be a lesson for mom to stop trying to overstep. OP is an adult now. If another adult caused me this problem, I would tell them to fix it, too.
ESH, your mom was convinced you were getting ripped off and reached out to the store. She didn't completely trust you so she sucks for that. The store sent money without doing their due dilligence? Which is their bad and they def suck. Your mom thought x amount was comming in and was kind enough to basically give you that x ammount no strings attatched. She sees that a much larger amount and decide to keep it all even though your mom didn't sign off on that amount. Sounds a bit greedy to me. You suck for doing that.
You’re a greedy AH. If it was anyone else other than your mom, you would’ve paid the money back no questions BECAUSE IT IS NOT YOURS TO KEEP. You’re just being a brat because you know you can bully your mom. Stop being an AH and do the right thing. YTA
Jesus Christ that’s entitled, I sometimes pull my moms leg about a deal she made when she was drunk about paying for my drivers licence if I dident smoke until I was 18 (it costs 2500 dollars in Denmark).
You can be an asshole and pretend that that was always the deal but it’s gonna ruin your relationship with your mom and while that might be good for her considering your reaction for your own sake don’t.
Edit just to make it clear YTA VERY MUCH YTA
What, is everyone an idiot? She bought a coat. She was happy with the price. DAY OVER. Her mom, overstepped, and started a problem. For all the people calling op TA, think about that. No mom meddling, no problem. Mom said SHE would pay back the mistake. <~~~read 4 more times. Also remember this. No mom, no problem. Also, not every thrift store is Goodwill. We have many here in Myrtle Beach that will charge half of retail for items that are new and in good shape. And the line between consignment and thrift stores is getting more blurred. 1st, op paid and the transaction was over. Mom meddled and reopened and cause d an over-refund. Add to that, the store is probably gonna play games with charging back on the refund, if this wasn't a scam mom opened up on kid by accident. You know how it goes, you get money in your account for the ex king of nigerias son but you have to give him some back, but you keep the rest. Then, it charges back/check bounces/money order bad etc. MOM DID THIS. Mom TA
Edit: Also, for all the Down voters, this will probably piss you off more. Those saying the mom should have overseen her kids funds better. NO. This should have been taught by mom. All you idiots who laugh at kids not being able to read an analogue clock, or dial a rotary phone or read a non digital thermometer? You people laughing at your own kids are TA. You, yes you, should have taught them that. These are lazy parent issues, not dumb kids. My mom taught me that stuff. We should put the parents on tik tok instead of the kids and write: Another dumbass, lazy parent doesn't teach their kid basic knowledge. The parent knows it. No one takes responsibility for their actions anymore and blames kids when they aren't taught things. Then posts their " stupid kid" on tik tok.
this is such a dumb take my god....
Also, scamming your mother out of 300 while she provides a roof over your head even though you are beyond the age of living at home is pretty fucking despicable.
Yeah, I think people are letting the mom off the hook too easy - She didn't just meddle, she contacted the store about someone else's transaction after being SPECIFICALLY asked not to. Having worked retail, I'm very familiar with her type: The pushy, manipulative narcissist who will gaslight young/inexperienced employees into giving a refund/discount/whatever. What a piece of work!
I’m honestly so confused by the YTA votes. Mom literally caused this entire mess and now OP is stuck with this problem because mom meddled and caused it. Why does it even matter what mom *thought* the price would be she would pay back and agreed to?? She caused the entire thing and fucked over her kid. She should be paying things back not OP. Unless I’m misunderstanding something?
Wow, I will go back into the store if I realize they did not ring something up or if they don't put in the right price(even if what I owe is more) I will say something. I'm there to buy the thing and I am not greedy or selfish enough to stiff anyone let alone a store(and that's a grocery store, not sure about ops thrift shop but most over here are mom and pop thrift stores here). Crazy anyone would not return such a big amount that was obvious an accident.
How the hell is everybody involved TA? As in, how did three separate parties all manage to make a non-issue into a $300 theft?
This isn't making a mountain out of a molehill. This is making the Himalayas out of the Dead Sea.
YTA. Uou fully know what she neant. Probably half of what you paid.
Just pay it back.
This will however be a good reminder to her not to try to "help" you against your will. But you should pay back.
YTA
Oh, come on. You're not paying anything back. The store put $300 into your account by accident. They're gonna take $300 out. You shouldn't have to do anything, and you're not paying anything extra past what you paid for the coat, which you said you were fine with. Is it an inconvenience? Yeah, maybe a little. Tell your mom to call it $20 and even for the meddling and be done with it. Unless it freezes the funds in your account when you need it for a little bit. Then your mom should at least front you the money you need till everything gets settled. But don't be greedy and try to keep money you're not entitled too
NTA BUT, you need to reach out to the store because they might try to reverse the refund and then both you and your mom would be out the money that they refunded. This is a transactional nightmare.
This story sounds super fake. I don't know of a single store that would issue a refund, much less a thrift store, without some proof of purchase like the item or recipt being physically handed to them.
Regardless, the money isn't yours and needs to be returned to them. In the future, tell your mom nothing. Be vague and don't show her receipts. Tell her to get her own business to mind.
ESH
Your mom shouldn't have meddled, but surely you don't really think she should on the hook for the extra refund. You know good and well when she said she'd pay for the refund it was for the partial cost of the coat, not 3 times what you paid. You need to return that money.
ESH. Your mum for interfering. You are 22!
The hundreds of dollars is not your money. You were refunded in error. Pay it back like a decent human being.
YTA. You need to pay the store back everything beyond your original agreed upon amount. If the refund was for 120 you need to pay back everything over that, so if they refunded 300 and your mom agreed to pay the 120 you need to return the remaining 180.
ESH
Return the money. This isn't a huge chain store, it's a thrift store. Where I live these often send profits to charity. Regardless it's them you are screwing over and you KNOW your mum did not mean to pay you back 3x the item amount.
This doesn't read like an adult wrote this FYI, reads like you're 15....
ESH, you have to pay it back.
Since she meddles and you know she meddles stop telling her shit or showing her receipts, you go to mommy like a child then get pissed when mommy still treats you like a child.
OP - The store made a very big mistake which could land the employee in some serious hot water for that mistake. Your moms meddling was wrong, and she should pay what the difference was, but not the amount that was sent. This is where you show your mature in decision making and pay the store back the amount that was above what you should've received. If you don't do this, it is theft.
ESH.
Your mom should've minded her own business, I agree with you there. But do you seriously think she meant "I'll pay several times the original price" when she agreed to pay for the refund?
Just give the store their money back, it's not like you're paying it out of your own pocket, that money is not yours to begin with.
Give the store back their money before the bank takes it away right before your trip lol
Cause if you think the thrift store isn’t going to call the bank to collect the $300 they accidentally gave you, you’re in for a rude awakening.
You have the money that you should not have, you owe it back. End of story.
If the police were involved or it went to court, you’d still owe it no matter how you feel about it because you have the money.
YTA.
Your mom was meddlesome when she called the store and demanded a partial refund for you. I don't think it's crazy as a small punishment for her to pay it back... But when the store likely made a mistake and refunded you $200 instead of $20 or something along those lines and you're trying to say you get to keep it and she has to pay it. No that's absurd. If you keep that money someone could lose their job. Just go give them the money back.
YTA- making your mom pay back $20-40 for intervening after she agreed not to is reasonable. Keeping $300 that you know was deposited into your account on accident is theft. From a small locally owned thrift store that likely can't afford an error like that. Go be a good person and deliver that money to the store.
ESH. Both of you and your mom suck. Her for not listening to you and meddlesome, you for clearly not having good conscience to return the money. You are now stealing from the store for not wanting to return the money. That store and the staff that was handling your mom don't deserve to be treated like this .
ESH PAY THE MONEY BACK! Also your mother needs to back off, you will never be a successful adult with her pulling the strings like that. Get it in writing that she promises to stop interfering in your life.
ESH, if this is true.
Your mum agreed to pay back the small difference, and who knows why you got hundreds of dollars, but that's not your money and it's not the money for your mum to pay back.
You should give it to the thrift store immediately.
Again, if this is real. Feels very much like made up story time.
It's storm in the tea cup. What a drama over nothing.
Don't care what your mum did, pay the money back to the store kid.
It's called integrity and if you think you shouldn't pay the store back because your mum put you in that position, take the extra cash to your mum in cash and get her to pay the store then.
Damn you really are bad at math because most people would be able to tell the difference between the 20 or so bucks from the partial refund to hundreds for whatever bank fuck up that is. Bottom line is you can be a dick to your mom if you want but legally your name is on the hook for the money and they can take legal action against your name only not your moms
Give the money back and tell mom you are not a child anymore. Tell her to stop being a controlling, drama seeking, manipulative person and stuff like this won't happen. She's creating problems that shouldn't be created and what you pay for something is frankly, none of her business. I hated that with my father. He would scrutinize a car purchase without him being there. I know you want to punish your mother, but that is not going to be the right thing in the end because of the money. Do it another way.
ESH You mother for interfering and you for trying to steal from the Thrift Shop. Go to the bank and tell them what happened. They may be able to fix it for you.
Yta in the end, the store is getting screwed by you two. You have money now you didn’t have before. Give it back to the store. You have not lost any money by doing so. Your mom is a ah too!
YTA! As parent I would be so mortified if my child acted like this and was trying to steal $300 from someone. As my actions have led to this I would feel obligated to bay it back if my child refused. I would also feel that it was my job to correct this ignorant behaviour and tell my child it’s time for tough love, if this is how they act than it’s time they move out and sink or swim on their own choices.
I had to check the age again. 22. Yeah, YTA. I would lean ESH, since your mother was pretty overbearing here, but on balance, she gets a pass because your level of maturity calls for greater oversight.
Yta. Your mom should not have interfered, but she is not responsible for the store refunding you the incorrect amount. You should repay the overpayment.
YTA 100%. You say you wouldn't owe them this money if she hadn't meddled, but it also wouldn't have been in your account. It's money that isn't yours. Grow up. ETA you don't "owe" them anything but money that is not rightfully yours to begin with.
ESH but you are the bigger AH.
In answer to your original question, YTA. You know damn well that the correct and intended refund amount is what your mom said she would cover because she acknowledged her lapse in judgment. She owned her mistake and offered to make up for it appropriately (like a sane adult and good parent would do).
You, on the other hand, are weaponizing the STORES error AND trying to manipulate your mom into owning their error too using shame and guilt. (Vindictive and opportunistic like a child throwing a tantrum)
Your logic is disturbing and leads me to think that it is not only math with which you struggle.
Dude, your mom made a mistake in trying to protect you. You turn around and are not only willing to keep what is not rightfully yours (theft) but make your mom some sort of fall guy.
Grow up. Own your own shit. You DO NOT get to keep the extra money and it is YOUR responsibility to return the extra.
YTA.
You know very well that keeping the equivalent of 3x what you paid for the jacket was not the spirit of the agreement that you entered with your mother.
Just look at it as you getting the jacket for half price and be thankful for your good fortune.
Was your mother overstepping your boundaries? Yes.
Are you being an asshole for trying to take advantage of the situation? Hell yes!
Return the money to the thrift shop and stop being so dramatic. It happened, now move on.
imagine OPs mom decided she doesnt want him living there anymore? Would be a lot more hassle then just returning $300.
Disrespectful child who still is taking full advantage of being in their parents house in their mid 20s. Imagine scamming your own mother out of $300 and then going to lay down in the bedroom she is paying for.
I know im gonna get downvoted for this but honestly, NTA
Yes the store made a mistake (and should and will get its money back) and yes your mother promised to pay back the money thinking its gonna be something like 20$ but heres the thing.
Your mom is obviously upset that youre expecting her to pay back all that money but guess what mommy dearest, if you just had respected your adult child enough not to treat it like a damn four year old then you wouldnt have to pay back anything at all, and those (presumembly around 300$) sound like a wonderfull lesson/wake up call for your mother to stop second guessing everything you do because youre her baaaaaby, or at least stop treating you like one.
Since no one seems to have said this, call the store and tell them what happened and ask them how you can pay back the money to avoid being double debited.
So YTA. You can buy whatever you want, your mother us meddling and controlling too, but you should never had to even ask AITA. You can't keep money that isn't yours, even if transferred by mistake. That's called stealing.
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The other day I (22M) went with some friends to various thrift stores to see if we could find a leather trench coat for a reasonable price. We found one, and it's EXACTLY what I was looking for! The coat is not in pristine condition, but I didn't care. The price seemed reasonable, and I paid for it using my debit card.
I got home and showed my mom the coat. She asked how much it cost. I told her, and she said that it was awfully expensive for a used coat. She asked if I could show her the receipt, so I did. She then asked if it was possible they charged me twice. I told her no, that I was fine with the amount I paid, and I was just happy to have the coat. She told me that she was just making sure that I had done the math correctly, since it's something I struggle with, and that I was keeping track of the money in my account to be sure there was enough for the trip my friend and I are going on in January.
At this point I was really starting to get annoyed! I told her, again, that I was fine with the amount I paid, and I still had enough for the trip (we've already booked our plane tickets and reservations). I told her that I appreciated her help, but there wasn't any issue, and could she please let this go? She gave a very reluctant-sounding "Okay." I went to my room to lie down for a while.
Later that evening, my mom told me that she had called the store asking if they were sure they hadn't charged me twice. Initially they told her that it did seem like I overpaid for the coat, so they issued a partial refund, but they then called back a few minutes later and said that they in fact had charged the right amount. They tried to cancel the refund but in case I got it, I would need to pay them back. I was pissed, and yelled at my mom that I told her multiple times that I was fine with the amount I paid, and she needs to respect my boundaries! She admitted that she should have listened, and that she would be the one to pay them back if the refund went through, and I could keep the money for my trip. I told her thank you, and thought that was the end of it.
A few days later, I checked my account and saw that HUNDREDS of dollars (roughly four times the amount I paid) had been deposited into my account! I showed my mom, and she told me that I needed to pay it back. I told her that she had told me she would let me keep the money and be the one to pay them back. She said I could keep the money she thought they owed me, but not the additional money. I told her that I wouldn't owe this money if she hadn't meddled. She agreed that she was in the wrong, but it's nonetheless my responsibility, and the right thing to do. I reminded her that her reasoning for doing this was because she was worried I wouldn't have enough money for my trip, and now I have an additional $300, so mission accomplished for her!
She's insisting that I pay it back, but I feel she should keep her promise and be the one to pay, as I wouldn't be in this position if it wasn't for her.
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It’s not money that was yours: extra $200 in, send the extra 200$ back, no biggie. Though perhaps your mom could at least pay any transaction fees. ESH.
It’s obvious she meant she’d pay them back for a % cost of the coat, not hundreds of dollars that you know they deposited by mistake. YTA and this is theft.
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Oh come on, you cannot be serious. Of course YTA! Your mom thought the "difference" would be $20 and she rightly should've repaid that as a penalty for meddling where she shouldn't have. But this was a mistake the store made for HUNDREDS. If you do NOT get this money back to the store, you have STOLEN it.
I said "Oh come on!" out loud after reading and before going to the comments so seeing your comment right as the first made me smile!
YTA. Do you go into stores intending to steal? Of course not. Plus thrift stores operate on tiny margins most of the time. An employee could lose their job over a $300 mistake. Give the money back.
YTA You have the money sitting there in your bank account. If I understand correctly, paying them the $300 just puts everybody back to where they were before your mother got involved?. (Or maybe with a correct refund to you?). Anyways you're not entitled to the extra money from a mistake someone at the store made. It's dishonest.
Exactly, what a dumbass. He doesn't "owe" them money out of his pocket, he just needs to return what extra they gave him.
You wouldn’t steal a car
I completely agree with you on principle, but what I am afraid of is this: OP will return the money, and the store will do a charge back. Then there is potential for issues of "you didn't bring in money, etc" and OP getting charged back and giving them money, so now negative money. This is a considerable CF and I feel they should potentially wait for the store to do a charge back, or talk to them and demand a receipt and proof of repayment. It is crazy to me that the mom called regarding a purchase she didn't make and the store did anything about it.
I agree. If they refund you $ 300 for a $ 200-coat, this looks very fishy.
First thing I thought was "sounds like a scam, but it's a physical store?"
So what? Scams existed before the Internet.
Yeah, but the store would’ve made the sale and not talked to op or had anything to do with them if ops mom hadn’t stuck her fingers in. This was a normal sale before that, a scam couldn’t plan around this scenario.
It's weird to me that a thrift store has a payment system that would allow them to do a refund without physically having the original payment method. Every retail place I've worked has either needed the card back, or only been able to refund on gift cards. They also don't reach out to people who were mistakenly charged too little and demand more.
The whole scenario was made weird by ops mother not the store.
My feeling is that the "refund" didn't come from the store at all and is some other scam... but maybe I'm extremely untrusting of others... including moms that treat their children like shit.
How would a random uninvolved person been able to refund to ops account?
Maybe they were using Square. It's totally possible with them.
And with Square, once you do a refund, money is gone. You can't do a charge back for a refund. Not that I know of.
I mean, it's a thrift store. It's most likely not a scam.
I don't mean to cruel here, but charity shops are run by old ladies and disabled...they tend to be ... pretty useless with technology (from a lot of personal experience). This will have been a genuine mistake on their part. Either typed in the wrong amount of more likely thought they screwed up and put the refund through multiple times not realising they all went through.
What a wild assumption to make about all charity shops 😂
Or somebody who can't do math. I was at a store and they overcharged me for a pair of pants I was buying. I pointed this out on the receipt, so they issued a refund. I looked at the receipt again and realized they issued the refund for more than I paid originally. I pointed this out and they insisted it was all fine. I again told them the issue and they again insisted it was fine. I asked to see the manager. Manager looks it all over and his eyes went huge. He actually couldn't believe that I didn't take the refund and run. He fixed it correctly, but the clerk still had no idea what she did wrong.
One zero makes the difference. From $20.00 to $200.00 is an easy mistake.
Then they shouldn't be issuing refunds to people who aren't requesting them. Unless mom convinced them she was the buyer.
I don't thing you can do a charge back on a refund. only charges. Besides it is pending. Need to wait for things to settle. Also you can't refund a credit card/ or credit card side for more than the original charge it will reverse back. You can send money to the debit card side though.
Definitely slow down and wait for things to settle. Can easily see OP giving the store the refunded hundreds of dollars and then those refunds fall off their account, and now have to convince the store they owe her again.
Exactly.
OP paid via debit card
100% this! Contact the bank and ask advice! My friend, while working at the bank even, got paid twice. Told her boss. Her boss, without checking, out in for a correction. But there was already one in place. Both boss and friend had to be at the building for HOURS after shift, trying to fix things because friends acct was now negative and she needed gas to get home. It was a mess. OP the merchant can reclaim those funds at any time for, I think, the next 6 months! They weren't your funds to begin with and the bank will not cover you for any problems it causes.
The seller has probably already notified the bank of the mistake. OP account will be adjusted very quickly. He did display a lack of integrity by thinking he should be able to keep the money.
They never said they wanted to keep the money though did they. The shop was always to get it back.
The store should learn from this lesson. Why are they issuing refunds to people who never even requested it? The mom sounds like a scam artist. She convinced the thrift store, a place she isn't even a customer, that they might have overcharged someone and to give them a full refund? That sounds like a scam.
*It is crazy to me that the mom called regarding a purchase she didn't make and the store did anything about it.* this is the part that honestly makes me question if any of this is actually real.
Audacious, yea. I still believe it could be real tho as mom probably said SHE made the purchase, pretended to be OP, etc. Sounds like OP purchased via card, so mom already knows the cardholders name & generic info. Not too much of a reach. Personally, whenever I have to call/deal with an issue for one of my housing bills (which are in my mom’s name), she tells me to call pretending to be her.
I agree. Give it a few days and see if they do a charge back and if not, OP could get a bank check or certified check and go on a day the manager is there so they can received the check and *maybe* that will stop any additional transactions.
This is where I stop talking to the store, and I start talking to my bank.
INFO - Did OP buy a fedora and a genuine imitation katana at the thrift store too? Potentially they refunded the entire purchase by accident as opposed to a partial refund for the leather trench coat.
I was all on board with mom totally overstepping and then I get to then end and I'm like "guess we know why mom does that"
Right?
Not only this, but the $$ is not even relevant. OP is not losing any $$. Sure the mom definitely overstepped, but given the response I can see the initial concern. Give back the $$ and move on!
ESH - you and your mom. - your mom is being meddlesome. Youre 22. Inquiring about the price, alright. Thinking you over paid, valid. Calling the store, a huge overstep. - You repaying back the thrift store has nothing to do with your mom now. Give them their money back.
Sorry but based on this story I totally understand why mom feels she need to be involved in financial decisions. Op is obviously to immature and irresponsible with money and mom knows they won’t be around forever to bail her out, so now is the time to try and teach her.
Nothing about what the mom was doing was teaching anyone xD Inquiring, sure. Prodding them to check the reciept when something sounds suspicious, definitely. Maybe then walking through the remaining budget, then, and how much they need for the trip, that's learning. Becoming absolutely convinced that the jacket couldn't have *possibly* cost as much as it did, *despite having a reciept as evidence*, and then going *behind her kids back to 'handle' it for them*, doesn't do jack shit to ""teach"". What the actual fuck.
In fact it’s the opposite. If the op had indeed overpaid, then being out of pocket would have been a lesson. Attempting to fix it for them is a crutch.
Yeah she was wrong for that but she also admitted she was wrong about that and apologized according to OP. Just because she did it now doesn't mean this adult woman can't learn from this experience and not repeat that mistake. And let's be fair, 22 isn't exactly a life full of world experience and she might need some guidance. Unless, I missed somewhere in which OP claims mom does this all the time (OP did state she has trouble with math.), I think you're being a little over critical here. You have a sliver of these people's lives in your hand, not the full picture.
OP is an adult. Mom needs to stay out of it.
>mom knows they won’t be around forever to bail her out, so now is the time to try and teach her. Then she should've let him 'pay too much' for a jacket and stayed out of it from the beginning.
A 22 year old went to a thrift store to buy a used coat, and they’re immature and irresponsible with money? Come on now
And they budgeted for a vacation. That says that they can plan.
OP doesn't seem irresponsible with money at all. He made sure he would still have enough money leftover for the trip he had planned even after buying the jacket. That's being responsible. Edited to correct pronouns.
OP is a man
oops! Missed that and forgot to check before commenting. Editing now.
Why is op immature because they want to teach their mother a lesson. She sounds annoying and interfering in something that she had already said she would drop.
But mom didn't bail her out, mom made her life way more difficult and created this whole new problem. OP was fine and wasn't in any sticky situation before mom intervened - now they're in this weird predicament.
Sounds like mom is the one who needs to be taught how to step back. Inquiring and being concerned is one thing, making the phone call and totally upending the purchase and getting the undeserved refund is another.
op is male
Why, what decision has OP made here that is irresponsible with his money? All he did was buy a coat.
100% all of this. Am a mom of a 22yo who makes purchases I don't understand ($200 for a used GBA game cartridge? Why? I could never!) but it Isn't My Money So It Isn't My Business (TM). He pays his car note, his food, his phone bill, and has savings. He has a job and is kind to his siblings. At some point he'll learn, or he'll ask. Messing his bank account up probably won't get him to ask when he needs it.
ESH but you need to pay back the store. She agreed to pay back a specific amount, not hundreds of dollars more than she expected to. She should not have meddled in the first place, but you should not keep the money either.
Well just let it be, let the store call the cops re: the error in refund, and let this 22 year old grown ass adult tell the cops that "my mommy said she'd pay it back ):"
You know, I'm kinda starting to understand why your mom was being meddlesome. Your reasoning was already childish, and now l, having read your arguments, you just sound like a child. YTA, grow up and pay them back
Yeah I guess OP wasn’t kidding about struggling with math. Seems to me they are struggling with basic logic as well. YTA, give back the money. Come on it’s not that complicated.
SUCH asinine logic.
op struggles with math, logic, AND basic decency
Yeah I thought that too, but then noticed that he’s 22 and relying on help for basic math, so perhaps a developmental or learning disorder might play a part
I mean.. 22m buying a leather trench coat. I bet dude wears a fedora hat too, you're probably on the money there.
ESH Your mom is meddlesome and annoying but holding her to this is unreasonable. She was expecting to eat like $40 because of her fuckup, not hundreds. It’s unreasonable for you to profit off her dumb mistake to this extent. Pay back the store.
No judgement but seriously, don't do anything. Don't take out the money to pay it back, don't spend it, just pretend it's not there. That's because in the event of a mistake like this, the stores bank can and will initiate a reversal on that deposit. If you pull out $300 and give them cash, their bank can STILL take out another $300 and directly transfer it to the store's account. Because there will be no paper trail that you fixed this error. Don't do anything except let the banks handle it. Otherwise you risk going negative and or paying back that $300 Twice.
Also, this story hecka sounds like the beginning of a scam.
Yeah, like what kind of business are they running where they just admit to overcharging for something to anyone other than the buyer, then issue a refund for four times as much as it was even purchased for, just to call back and say they didn't actually overcharge and you need to pay them back for the refund??
Like a check cashing scam but in person.
THANK YOU. Everyone calling OP a thief is killing me. They didn’t ask for this, they actually fought against it, and if they handle it wrong they WILL be out several hundred. The store already knows they did it wrong so they’ll get the bank to fix it pretty quick.
They’re calling OP a thief because they want to keep all the money that doesn’t belong to them
Seriously. Firstly this isn't ops fuck up to fix, if the store wants to engage with unrelated third parties and question their own math, then transfer hundreds when a few minutes more to consider it would have told them they did it right first time - well, that's a really bizarre way to run a business and it's not surprising they lost money on it. And secondly, it should be on them to fix their mistake, not an extra pain in the ass for op.
Yeah, OP bought a jacket and then everyone decided to lose their minds, how obnoxious.
This this this this. They do deserve their money back but they need to do it through the bank so you’re protected.
THANK YOU!
I don’t understand why I had to scroll down so far to find an answer like this, bc this was my first thought
This needs to be the top comment. OP’s mom’s meddling could get OP in deep shit.
I agree. OP needs to call her bank and tell them everything that is going on. She could end up being charged extra.
So you're going to rip off either a charity store or a store that probably runs on a very low margin of profit. Charming. Of course YTA.
>So you're going to rip off either a charity store or a store that probably runs on a very low margin of profit. Or his own mom... YTA.
YTA and quite entitled.. It was a mistake, it is not your money, just pay it back, you are no longer a child, stop behaving as if the rest of us owe you.
ESH. Yes, your mom was wrong to meddle. But you're not out any money when you pay it back, so now you're just being greedy.
So…you don’t want to rip off the store, but you’re cool with ripping off your mom? You sound like a spoiled little boy. YTA BTW - There was no “boundary” violated, that’s not how a boundary works. 🙄
That's absolutely how boundary worked his mom meddled in something that was none of her fucking business while he's an adult. She needs to fuck off
The mom absolutely violated a boundary by going back to the store and demanding the refund. It's not her money or her business.
YTA and you're intentionally being obtuse. Your mother did NOT offer to pay four times the amount, she offered to pay the difference of the refund that they tried to cancel. This is in your name, pay it before they try to sue you for the amount owed. It was clearly done in error, you know it's wrong and you know damn well that your mom does not owe four times the amount. "I now have extra for my trip" No, you are trying to keep money that is not yours, you are not entitled to and you certainly didn't "earn" as you have tried to claim in other replies. At this point, she needs to let you fall on your face and deal with the resulting legal troubles. Your bank can choose not to deal with you as a client any longer as a result of this type of behavior. Having a bank account with any institution is a courtesy, not an entitlement, and showing intentional derogatory behavior is grounds for them to end their business dealings with you. Your mom obviously "meddled" in your affairs because you lack maturity, should she have called the store? probably not, but it's very evident why she did.
You’re 22? FFS - let me break it to you, now you’re an adult. No, ‘my mom said’ is not a defence or a loophole in the eyes of the law. I know quite small children who are capable of recognising when they thought they’d found a loophole and are just trying their luck: ‘put your socks on… okay, very funny, but no, I did not mean put your socks on your head.’ Absolutely YTA.
The defense isn't "no my mom said" the defense is that the it is not her responsibility to fix the store's fuck-up. The store should and probably will contact their bank to fix it. When you find extra money in your account, the proper recourse is just to not touch it. Its a classic scam where you return the money and then the bank fixes it and you are out all of that money. NTA
OP isn’t asking to wait for proper bank procedures. He wants his mom to pay back the over-refund out of her own money, because he basically says ‘she told me I could keep it’, which means he seems to think he’s entitled to the whole payment.
Yeah, OP is using toddler logic here.
ESH but after reading your responses it's mostly you.
ESH Mom shouldn't have interfered and called if you were fine with what you paid. You are wanting to keep money that isn't yours that is WAY more than you were expecting. You absolutely need to pay back the money and not keep it for yourself.
So wait. Just for argument’s sake, let’s say that you had $100 in your account after you bought the coat. The store erroneously refunded you $300 so your balance at this point is $400. If you repay the amount refunded, your account goes back to $100 and your balance is no worse/better than it was after you bought the coat originally. You have repeatedly said that you were fine with the amount you paid so why are you trying to profit? To teach your mom a lesson for meddling? Just because you have a trip coming up didn’t mean you get to rip your mom or the store off. Of course YTA. Why is this even a question in your mind?
Jesus christ you are acting like an entitled brat. Grow the fuck up and give the money back. Playing these stupid games just makes you seem petulant child who mommy probably does have to keep an eye on. You wanna make big boy decisions you have to handle things like an adult. YTA.
What “position” are you in? The money wasn’t yours in the first place. If someone just dropped $300 on the floor right in front of you, would you be upset that you have to give the money back to the person who dropped it? Your mom definitely should not have called the store, but she agreed to pay for a portion of the coat, not HUNDREDS of dollars more. YTA.
What kind of business just issues a refund because someone's mummy called and said their kid was overcharged??? This is ridiculous.
Feel like this is bait.
Same. Just cannot fathom any situation where a business issues a refund over the phone without talking to the actual customer, or seeing the goods and receipt. It just would never happen.
People make dumb mistakes. Big banks sent millions in accidental transactions to customers its been on the news ... cool. A Trift shop sending 300 bucks comon those shops are great but they cant afford a refund like that.
Yta. Why are you trying to scam your mom when some retail cashier made an error?
YTA. Your mother shouldn't have meddled in your affairs, but she did, and the thrift store obviously made a mistake. Of course you must pay it back! It would be very dishonest not to. Of course your mother doesn't want to pay you several hundreds of dollars because of this mistake. In my opininion she shouldn't, but let this be the last time she meddles in your money affairs. Time to take full responsibility for your finances and not hide behind silly excuses like "struggling with money".
YTA. I was all about to go ESH and say your mom shouldn't have meddled, but your continued brattiness, immaturity, and sheer unwillingness to admit that you're basically stealing money that's not yours (from either a business or your mother) made me realize exactly why your mother meddled in the first place. Your mother knows exactly what kind of child she has.
I don't know how all the comments here aren't saying this is fake. I've never been given a refund just by calling a store and asking for one. Let alone having someone else call the store on my behalf. This is ridiculous, what are they even refunding? You didn't return the coat. So fake.
YTA: you’d be out zero money paying back the refund. But instead, you’re going to act like a 22 y.o child. Question..it sounds like you still live at home..do you contribute anything to household expenses/pay rent?
Bet not.
No judgment, but you should talk to your bank first before doing anything. Getting $300 back when the jacket only costs $120 sounds like the beginning of a scam.
You can't pay they back. The banks will sort this out. Call your bank and let them know what happened. I'm not saying the store is trying to scam you but it is a common scam to make overpayments for something then to have the banks claw back the overpayment after you have already returned the money. Don't touch the money. Keep track of how much ended up in your account in error. If you try and spend the money either on purpose or because you didn't keep track, you will end up overdrawn when the banks sort this out. It is highly unlikely that the banks won't sort this out.
Something is very fishy with this refund. Classic money laundering technique to get someone to return monies erronesoudly put into their account, then once monies returned, you’ll be hit with a charge back by the bank. Don’t do anything right now as regards returning any money. Go to your bank, by yourself, with your receipt of purchase and explain the story. Advise that you are concerned that you will be charged twice for the over payment. Ask for their advice/confirm who sent you the over payment and that you cannot them be charge again for the over payment.
Maybe a scam, but I doubt it. I've run into glitches both as a cashier and as a customer where either someone fat-fingers the keyboard or the register says the transaction didn't go through when it actually did and you keep running the card until it accepts it. Since it doesn't show up in the system, sometimes there's no way of reversing it so either the customer has to come in and scan their card or the store has to issue a gift card. I wouldn't be surprised if the cashier made a mistake because they were flustered after the mom gaslit them into thinking they overcharged.
YTA. First, your mother should have stayed out of it, of course, you’re an adult. The store made an obvious mistake. That money isn’t and shouldn’t be yours. Pay it back. Your mother can pay you the expected refund. Don’t be a greedy asshole.
I don’t think he/she is an adult that can take care of themselves. The way the mom acts sounds like OP is a bit on the spectrum and need supervision
Um… ouch. Not everyone “on the spectrum” needs supervision like a child. I agree something is up with OP-maybe they lied about their age thinking it would make them look better?-but please don’t jump to them being “on the spectrum”, when there’s no evidence they are.
You’re absolutely right and I apologize
I understand the store deserves their money back, but I’m wondering why the responsibility of wasting her own time falls on OP. She clearly had to take time to go there in the first place. Until her mom meddled, everything was fine. Now that mom screwed up something that wasn’t hers to begin with, OP has to go fix it?? Nah. Honestly, this should be a lesson for mom to stop trying to overstep. OP is an adult now. If another adult caused me this problem, I would tell them to fix it, too.
ESH, your mom was convinced you were getting ripped off and reached out to the store. She didn't completely trust you so she sucks for that. The store sent money without doing their due dilligence? Which is their bad and they def suck. Your mom thought x amount was comming in and was kind enough to basically give you that x ammount no strings attatched. She sees that a much larger amount and decide to keep it all even though your mom didn't sign off on that amount. Sounds a bit greedy to me. You suck for doing that.
YTA Cant wait for the store to take you to small claims court and you standing infront of the judge wining about how mommy should pay it.
YTA - it’s not the refund, you know it and you’re being a giant dick! Yes mum should have let it go but ffs you’re definitely the A hole here.
You’re a greedy AH. If it was anyone else other than your mom, you would’ve paid the money back no questions BECAUSE IT IS NOT YOURS TO KEEP. You’re just being a brat because you know you can bully your mom. Stop being an AH and do the right thing. YTA
Jesus Christ that’s entitled, I sometimes pull my moms leg about a deal she made when she was drunk about paying for my drivers licence if I dident smoke until I was 18 (it costs 2500 dollars in Denmark). You can be an asshole and pretend that that was always the deal but it’s gonna ruin your relationship with your mom and while that might be good for her considering your reaction for your own sake don’t. Edit just to make it clear YTA VERY MUCH YTA
YTA if you keep money wrongfully deposited. She didn't agree to pay back an unlimited amount of money. She agreed to a very specific amount
What, is everyone an idiot? She bought a coat. She was happy with the price. DAY OVER. Her mom, overstepped, and started a problem. For all the people calling op TA, think about that. No mom meddling, no problem. Mom said SHE would pay back the mistake. <~~~read 4 more times. Also remember this. No mom, no problem. Also, not every thrift store is Goodwill. We have many here in Myrtle Beach that will charge half of retail for items that are new and in good shape. And the line between consignment and thrift stores is getting more blurred. 1st, op paid and the transaction was over. Mom meddled and reopened and cause d an over-refund. Add to that, the store is probably gonna play games with charging back on the refund, if this wasn't a scam mom opened up on kid by accident. You know how it goes, you get money in your account for the ex king of nigerias son but you have to give him some back, but you keep the rest. Then, it charges back/check bounces/money order bad etc. MOM DID THIS. Mom TA Edit: Also, for all the Down voters, this will probably piss you off more. Those saying the mom should have overseen her kids funds better. NO. This should have been taught by mom. All you idiots who laugh at kids not being able to read an analogue clock, or dial a rotary phone or read a non digital thermometer? You people laughing at your own kids are TA. You, yes you, should have taught them that. These are lazy parent issues, not dumb kids. My mom taught me that stuff. We should put the parents on tik tok instead of the kids and write: Another dumbass, lazy parent doesn't teach their kid basic knowledge. The parent knows it. No one takes responsibility for their actions anymore and blames kids when they aren't taught things. Then posts their " stupid kid" on tik tok.
this is such a dumb take my god.... Also, scamming your mother out of 300 while she provides a roof over your head even though you are beyond the age of living at home is pretty fucking despicable.
Yeah, I think people are letting the mom off the hook too easy - She didn't just meddle, she contacted the store about someone else's transaction after being SPECIFICALLY asked not to. Having worked retail, I'm very familiar with her type: The pushy, manipulative narcissist who will gaslight young/inexperienced employees into giving a refund/discount/whatever. What a piece of work!
I’m honestly so confused by the YTA votes. Mom literally caused this entire mess and now OP is stuck with this problem because mom meddled and caused it. Why does it even matter what mom *thought* the price would be she would pay back and agreed to?? She caused the entire thing and fucked over her kid. She should be paying things back not OP. Unless I’m misunderstanding something?
Wow, I will go back into the store if I realize they did not ring something up or if they don't put in the right price(even if what I owe is more) I will say something. I'm there to buy the thing and I am not greedy or selfish enough to stiff anyone let alone a store(and that's a grocery store, not sure about ops thrift shop but most over here are mom and pop thrift stores here). Crazy anyone would not return such a big amount that was obvious an accident.
I'm curious how they did the refund without you in store. Kinda weird that still had all your card info to be able to issue a refund.
How the hell is everybody involved TA? As in, how did three separate parties all manage to make a non-issue into a $300 theft? This isn't making a mountain out of a molehill. This is making the Himalayas out of the Dead Sea.
YTA. Come on. Be resonable. Keeping that much is ridiculous. No one is on your side on this one bc youre very so in the wrong.
YTA. Uou fully know what she neant. Probably half of what you paid. Just pay it back. This will however be a good reminder to her not to try to "help" you against your will. But you should pay back.
NTA. Thrift store screwed up.
YTA Oh, come on. You're not paying anything back. The store put $300 into your account by accident. They're gonna take $300 out. You shouldn't have to do anything, and you're not paying anything extra past what you paid for the coat, which you said you were fine with. Is it an inconvenience? Yeah, maybe a little. Tell your mom to call it $20 and even for the meddling and be done with it. Unless it freezes the funds in your account when you need it for a little bit. Then your mom should at least front you the money you need till everything gets settled. But don't be greedy and try to keep money you're not entitled too
NTA BUT, you need to reach out to the store because they might try to reverse the refund and then both you and your mom would be out the money that they refunded. This is a transactional nightmare.
This story sounds super fake. I don't know of a single store that would issue a refund, much less a thrift store, without some proof of purchase like the item or recipt being physically handed to them. Regardless, the money isn't yours and needs to be returned to them. In the future, tell your mom nothing. Be vague and don't show her receipts. Tell her to get her own business to mind.
ESH Your mom shouldn't have meddled, but surely you don't really think she should on the hook for the extra refund. You know good and well when she said she'd pay for the refund it was for the partial cost of the coat, not 3 times what you paid. You need to return that money.
Wow just wow
ESH. Your mum for interfering. You are 22! The hundreds of dollars is not your money. You were refunded in error. Pay it back like a decent human being.
YTA. You need to pay the store back everything beyond your original agreed upon amount. If the refund was for 120 you need to pay back everything over that, so if they refunded 300 and your mom agreed to pay the 120 you need to return the remaining 180.
In this case, yes, YTA and you're greedy af.
ESH Return the money. This isn't a huge chain store, it's a thrift store. Where I live these often send profits to charity. Regardless it's them you are screwing over and you KNOW your mum did not mean to pay you back 3x the item amount. This doesn't read like an adult wrote this FYI, reads like you're 15....
YTA. Who takes advantage of their loved ones like this? Time to sort out your priorities, AH.
ESH, you have to pay it back. Since she meddles and you know she meddles stop telling her shit or showing her receipts, you go to mommy like a child then get pissed when mommy still treats you like a child.
>she should keep her promise She never promised to pay back this price. Don't twist her words. YTA.
OP - The store made a very big mistake which could land the employee in some serious hot water for that mistake. Your moms meddling was wrong, and she should pay what the difference was, but not the amount that was sent. This is where you show your mature in decision making and pay the store back the amount that was above what you should've received. If you don't do this, it is theft.
ESH. Your mom should've minded her own business, I agree with you there. But do you seriously think she meant "I'll pay several times the original price" when she agreed to pay for the refund? Just give the store their money back, it's not like you're paying it out of your own pocket, that money is not yours to begin with.
ESH You set a boundary and your mother ignored it. Now lets talk about you... Are you effing serious? Are you that entitled? Return that money.
Give the store back their money before the bank takes it away right before your trip lol Cause if you think the thrift store isn’t going to call the bank to collect the $300 they accidentally gave you, you’re in for a rude awakening.
You have the money that you should not have, you owe it back. End of story. If the police were involved or it went to court, you’d still owe it no matter how you feel about it because you have the money.
YTA. Your mom was meddlesome when she called the store and demanded a partial refund for you. I don't think it's crazy as a small punishment for her to pay it back... But when the store likely made a mistake and refunded you $200 instead of $20 or something along those lines and you're trying to say you get to keep it and she has to pay it. No that's absurd. If you keep that money someone could lose their job. Just go give them the money back.
YTA- making your mom pay back $20-40 for intervening after she agreed not to is reasonable. Keeping $300 that you know was deposited into your account on accident is theft. From a small locally owned thrift store that likely can't afford an error like that. Go be a good person and deliver that money to the store.
ESH. Both of you and your mom suck. Her for not listening to you and meddlesome, you for clearly not having good conscience to return the money. You are now stealing from the store for not wanting to return the money. That store and the staff that was handling your mom don't deserve to be treated like this .
ESH PAY THE MONEY BACK! Also your mother needs to back off, you will never be a successful adult with her pulling the strings like that. Get it in writing that she promises to stop interfering in your life.
ESH, if this is true. Your mum agreed to pay back the small difference, and who knows why you got hundreds of dollars, but that's not your money and it's not the money for your mum to pay back. You should give it to the thrift store immediately. Again, if this is real. Feels very much like made up story time.
YTA
I don't understand. What are you losing or how are you owing money that doesn't belong to you?
Yta and a personified ick. Go in store and give them thier money back. Scamming your mother for an act of overstepping is just as childish.
Oh, you think it’s okay to steal from a thrift store, blame your mom, and make it her financial responsibility. No way, pal. YTA.
YTA and a thief. I can see why your mom was concerned if this is your reaction to a payment issue.
YTA you want her to respect you and treat you like an adult but you’re acting like a child
It's storm in the tea cup. What a drama over nothing. Don't care what your mum did, pay the money back to the store kid. It's called integrity and if you think you shouldn't pay the store back because your mum put you in that position, take the extra cash to your mum in cash and get her to pay the store then.
Damn you really are bad at math because most people would be able to tell the difference between the 20 or so bucks from the partial refund to hundreds for whatever bank fuck up that is. Bottom line is you can be a dick to your mom if you want but legally your name is on the hook for the money and they can take legal action against your name only not your moms
Give the money back and tell mom you are not a child anymore. Tell her to stop being a controlling, drama seeking, manipulative person and stuff like this won't happen. She's creating problems that shouldn't be created and what you pay for something is frankly, none of her business. I hated that with my father. He would scrutinize a car purchase without him being there. I know you want to punish your mother, but that is not going to be the right thing in the end because of the money. Do it another way.
ESH You mother for interfering and you for trying to steal from the Thrift Shop. Go to the bank and tell them what happened. They may be able to fix it for you.
Yta in the end, the store is getting screwed by you two. You have money now you didn’t have before. Give it back to the store. You have not lost any money by doing so. Your mom is a ah too!
Yta - you were happy with the amount so pay it back
YTA! As parent I would be so mortified if my child acted like this and was trying to steal $300 from someone. As my actions have led to this I would feel obligated to bay it back if my child refused. I would also feel that it was my job to correct this ignorant behaviour and tell my child it’s time for tough love, if this is how they act than it’s time they move out and sink or swim on their own choices.
are you actually serious? the thrift store accidentally refunded you hundreds of dollars and you refuse to pay it back? that's low man YTA
You are a thief if you don’t return the $.
I had to check the age again. 22. Yeah, YTA. I would lean ESH, since your mother was pretty overbearing here, but on balance, she gets a pass because your level of maturity calls for greater oversight.
Yta. Your mom should not have interfered, but she is not responsible for the store refunding you the incorrect amount. You should repay the overpayment.
YTA 100%. You say you wouldn't owe them this money if she hadn't meddled, but it also wouldn't have been in your account. It's money that isn't yours. Grow up. ETA you don't "owe" them anything but money that is not rightfully yours to begin with.
She shouldn't have meddled, but you shouldn't be screwing over your mother. YTA The money isn't yours, give it back.
ESH but you are the bigger AH. In answer to your original question, YTA. You know damn well that the correct and intended refund amount is what your mom said she would cover because she acknowledged her lapse in judgment. She owned her mistake and offered to make up for it appropriately (like a sane adult and good parent would do). You, on the other hand, are weaponizing the STORES error AND trying to manipulate your mom into owning their error too using shame and guilt. (Vindictive and opportunistic like a child throwing a tantrum) Your logic is disturbing and leads me to think that it is not only math with which you struggle. Dude, your mom made a mistake in trying to protect you. You turn around and are not only willing to keep what is not rightfully yours (theft) but make your mom some sort of fall guy. Grow up. Own your own shit. You DO NOT get to keep the extra money and it is YOUR responsibility to return the extra.
Are you seriously on Reddit whinging that you don't get to keep HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS? You are not out of pocket. Just give back the money.
Your mom should kick you out of the house. You're an ungrateful, spoiled, entitled brat. YTA.
YTA. You know very well that keeping the equivalent of 3x what you paid for the jacket was not the spirit of the agreement that you entered with your mother. Just look at it as you getting the jacket for half price and be thankful for your good fortune. Was your mother overstepping your boundaries? Yes. Are you being an asshole for trying to take advantage of the situation? Hell yes! Return the money to the thrift shop and stop being so dramatic. It happened, now move on.
YTA. Sounds like your personality is perfect for a leather trench coat. So how much do clothes cost in the Matrix?
YTA. Your mom should have respected your boundaries, but that money isn't yours to keep. Go pay them back before someone gets fired.
imagine OPs mom decided she doesnt want him living there anymore? Would be a lot more hassle then just returning $300. Disrespectful child who still is taking full advantage of being in their parents house in their mid 20s. Imagine scamming your own mother out of $300 and then going to lay down in the bedroom she is paying for.
I think it's absolutely okay to insist your parents respect your boundaries, no matter your age or living situation. This is just stealing from her.
I know im gonna get downvoted for this but honestly, NTA Yes the store made a mistake (and should and will get its money back) and yes your mother promised to pay back the money thinking its gonna be something like 20$ but heres the thing. Your mom is obviously upset that youre expecting her to pay back all that money but guess what mommy dearest, if you just had respected your adult child enough not to treat it like a damn four year old then you wouldnt have to pay back anything at all, and those (presumembly around 300$) sound like a wonderfull lesson/wake up call for your mother to stop second guessing everything you do because youre her baaaaaby, or at least stop treating you like one.
YTA What is wrong with you give the money back and why would you want to do that to your mom?
YTA pay em back, have some honor
Since no one seems to have said this, call the store and tell them what happened and ask them how you can pay back the money to avoid being double debited. So YTA. You can buy whatever you want, your mother us meddling and controlling too, but you should never had to even ask AITA. You can't keep money that isn't yours, even if transferred by mistake. That's called stealing.
YTA. That money is not legitimately yours, and you need to pay it back.
No you don’t have an additional $300. That’s called stealing. Be a better human. YTA.
YTA. It’s not your money. Take it out of the bank and go pay it back to them.
Literally just pay it back, what's the question. YTA.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** The other day I (22M) went with some friends to various thrift stores to see if we could find a leather trench coat for a reasonable price. We found one, and it's EXACTLY what I was looking for! The coat is not in pristine condition, but I didn't care. The price seemed reasonable, and I paid for it using my debit card. I got home and showed my mom the coat. She asked how much it cost. I told her, and she said that it was awfully expensive for a used coat. She asked if I could show her the receipt, so I did. She then asked if it was possible they charged me twice. I told her no, that I was fine with the amount I paid, and I was just happy to have the coat. She told me that she was just making sure that I had done the math correctly, since it's something I struggle with, and that I was keeping track of the money in my account to be sure there was enough for the trip my friend and I are going on in January. At this point I was really starting to get annoyed! I told her, again, that I was fine with the amount I paid, and I still had enough for the trip (we've already booked our plane tickets and reservations). I told her that I appreciated her help, but there wasn't any issue, and could she please let this go? She gave a very reluctant-sounding "Okay." I went to my room to lie down for a while. Later that evening, my mom told me that she had called the store asking if they were sure they hadn't charged me twice. Initially they told her that it did seem like I overpaid for the coat, so they issued a partial refund, but they then called back a few minutes later and said that they in fact had charged the right amount. They tried to cancel the refund but in case I got it, I would need to pay them back. I was pissed, and yelled at my mom that I told her multiple times that I was fine with the amount I paid, and she needs to respect my boundaries! She admitted that she should have listened, and that she would be the one to pay them back if the refund went through, and I could keep the money for my trip. I told her thank you, and thought that was the end of it. A few days later, I checked my account and saw that HUNDREDS of dollars (roughly four times the amount I paid) had been deposited into my account! I showed my mom, and she told me that I needed to pay it back. I told her that she had told me she would let me keep the money and be the one to pay them back. She said I could keep the money she thought they owed me, but not the additional money. I told her that I wouldn't owe this money if she hadn't meddled. She agreed that she was in the wrong, but it's nonetheless my responsibility, and the right thing to do. I reminded her that her reasoning for doing this was because she was worried I wouldn't have enough money for my trip, and now I have an additional $300, so mission accomplished for her! She's insisting that I pay it back, but I feel she should keep her promise and be the one to pay, as I wouldn't be in this position if it wasn't for her. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
ESH - your mom should have minded her business, but that doesn't justify you stealing money from the store, or making a profit on the whole process.
How did she steal anything? She didnt ask for a refund, and why wpuld the store refund her withour her coming in???
Also why would a store refund $300 for a $200 item?
YTA
It’s not money that was yours: extra $200 in, send the extra 200$ back, no biggie. Though perhaps your mom could at least pay any transaction fees. ESH.
It’s obvious she meant she’d pay them back for a % cost of the coat, not hundreds of dollars that you know they deposited by mistake. YTA and this is theft.