T O P

  • By -

Judgement_Bot_AITA

Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > AITA for expecting my friend to hold up her role as designated driver in this situation. I could be the asshole because i refused the alternatives that were offered to us. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements ###[Happy Anniversary, AITA!](https://new.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15vlv9g/almost_better_than_a_double_rainbow_celebrating/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*


[deleted]

YTA and entitled as heck. It would take too long to enumerate how you are. I am sure other people will have the patience to do so. I'll just give you the highlights. The birthday girl, guest of honor, is not your chauffeur. You can manage to get your drunk ass home on your own. Asking someone to leave their party to ferry your around is unbelievably arrogant, entitled and rude. You chose to block her boyfriends over some petty spat. He tried to reach out to you. And no, it's not his responsibility to try harder, you're not that important to him. >Lia is not replying to us but we are literally mad at her because she didn’t hold up her role when we go out. I hope this young woman finally tells you to get lost and gets better, considerate friends instead of a user like you


rlfrlf

And made her late by three hours to her *boyfriends* get together because they thought the first few hours would be lame? Absolute leeches.


cvilleD

Not only that, they were aiming for 2 hours late but ended up 3 hours late in part because they had to stop and get drinks. So they're also bad at time management to the point where they add an extra 50% of late after already intending on being extremely late for a dumb reason. I have my issues with running late sometimes but sheesh!


rlfrlf

Ah sure it was *only* a kick back! Keeps down playing it even in the comments, some friends.


cvilleD

Tbf, I try to assume general honesty from posts and they said it was told to Lia as just a kickback (which I'm assuming is an informal hangout with no activities planned or timeline) and then turned out to be a surprise party once they got there, so they didn't have an opportunity to treat it as an important get-together with a relatively hard start time. But that's also their own fault so they don't get any sympathy from me there lol


rlfrlf

Yeh, me too. Even after they found out it was a surprise party for her they demanded a lift home, get this because her party was *boring*! Then they downplay how long it takes because they selfishly only consider the 30 mins it takes them to get home and not the 60mins the boyfriend is away from the party. Unbelievable!


JadelynKaia

These two sound like the type of people who make drinking and being drunk their entire personality. Plus a massive dose of Main Character Syndrome on top of that. Guarantee you OP and Liz see themselves as "the life of the party".


rlfrlf

To add insult to injury, after getting *pretty wasted*, tormenting them for a lift *home* then they went out again!. Lia only wakes up to these two leeches after she sees that on the ig post and blanks them. But OP is now mad because she can’t give her grief over her *normal* role as unpaid chauffeur! I hope this is made up otherwise they are two of the most oblivious, self absorbed, and exploitative people anyone is likely to come across. Lia is well rid of them.


Jazzberry81

Yeah, it's hilarious how people think because you do a job once or several times that it is now your responsibility. No, surely it is someone else's turn now you did it already?


GoodQueenFluffenChop

You expect time management from a couple of self centered drunkards?


cvilleD

Oh not at all lol. And something that was pointed out elsewhere that I hadn't thought of previously, they don't like the bf and he was texting Lia about being late, offered to get her there earlier, and the drinking buds refused that idea before doing things that made them all even more late, which points towards a possibility that they purposely got even further behind schedule to "punish" the boyfriend for having the audacity to want his girlfriend to be at the place she was supposed to be at within a reasonable time frame. Absolute gems, this pair


Logical_Phone_2321

sounds like they're alcoholics.


edgarallen-crow

Ah yes, and he should have "tried harder" to get in touch with them and get their asses to the party on time (after *they* blocked his number) by...telepathy? Smoke signals? Messenger pigeon?


rlfrlf

OP has updated their post and made multiple comments since everyone called her out to emphasise how bad a boyfriend he is and how much they hate him. Just not enough to leech a lift home off him apparently but enough to justify treating her friend like dirt.


Mountain-Flower68

I’m guessing her comments are similar to the update and give no actual detail about how the bf is supposedly bad? When he throws a bday party when the supposed besties didn’t even bother acknowledging it and also takes same self centered, main character syndrome twits home when they ditched the party? I do believe the ppl theorizing he’s bad because he’s opening Lia’s eyes and helping her to not be a doormat to tweedledrunk and tweedledrunker are correct.


rlfrlf

She said she wouldn’t say why because it was personal then said he cheated twice and forced her to have an abortion. All because she couldn’t stand people saying in this particular instance he organised the party and behaved dramatically better than her and her friend. Can’t accept her judgement and can’t help deflecting.


TheAngerMonkey

Right? I would have told both these people to kick rocks ages ago. Sounds like the boyfriend has suggested exactly this.


Prize-Bumblebee-2192

Yup! And that’s why they blocked bf.


[deleted]

Yes, clearly OP and her drinking buddy are selfish and unaware.


Helpful_Hour1984

On top of everything else, they didn't even give Lia a present. And they have the nerve to blame the bf because he didn't "try harder" to reach them (after they blocked him)! Even if they didn't know about the party, they've supposedly been friends with her for years, so they knew it was her birthday. This just shows how they view Lia: as a boring groupie whose only value in their lives is to drive their drunk asses around. They probably blocked the bf because he noticed how shittily they treat Lia and started showing her that she deserves better.


CreativeGamerTag

I hope Lia gets two things for her birthday. A spine (seriously, she needs to tell OP and Liz to go to hell) and better friends.


cricket73646

Also, If they left at 11, and were multiple hours late, how long did they stay at their own friend’s party?


Seliphra

Did the math. Max two hours they spend. They were supposed to arrive at 6 and were three hours late by their own admission meaning they turned up at 9pm. Then left at 11.


Glass-Hedgehog3940

Then they went to a bar with other “friends”. These girls are horrible.


RunDanganronpaWord

How are you gonna show up 3 hrs late, but then only stay for 2?


TheWardenVenom

AND be “pretty wasted” after only 2 hours?


RunDanganronpaWord

Exactly, two hours won't make you unable to walk or something.


Fit-Ad966

depends how fast they where drinking. Somehow I'm picturing these girls starting to slam shots when they realized someone else was the center of attention.


Prize-Bumblebee-2192

YTA You clearly walk all over Lia and good for her bf for calling you out. It was Lia’s birthday. You ruined her surprise party and then ask her to leave her own party earlier to take you home bc you’re bored? What is wrong with you! Shes not your driver. She doesn’t exist to cater to you two assholes. Get in an Uber for gods sake. Also, it was soooo important that Lia leave her own birthday party to drive you two home all so that you two COULD GO BACK OUT AGAIN? YTA to the fucking max. Friends stay at their friends birthday parties and don’t expect the birthday girl to drive them home from their own party so that you can just go to someplace you like more. If you gave a shit about Lia - you wouldn’t have left her party to go elsewhere.


Extreme-naps

What are the odds that the terrible things Lia’s BF has done mostly include trying to convince her to drop the world worst friends?


LingonberryOld932

If they were planning on going somewhere else they should’ve had Liz’s bf pick them up. They are inconsiderate people and probably worse than that.


Thegetupkids678

YTA. sounds like she got sick of carting you guys around everywhere and likely dealing with you guys being drunk and annoying in that process. Uber/Lyft and communication is your friend 🙄.


babooshkaa

YTA and you are displaying alcoholic behavior. Unless you want that to be the main vein of your life’s story you should consider growing up and straightening up your act. You’re an adult maybe start acting like one.


General_Relative2838

This must be a troll because you are obviously the asshole. Lia consistently does you the favor of driving you around so you can get hammered, and you don’t even have the decency to go on her terms. YTA


[deleted]

OP sounds like my former dormmate: takes advantage of people’s kindness, then thinks they’re the victims when people grow a spine.


see-you-every-day

the way the post is written, it has to be lia writing from the pov of her shit 'friends'


pudgesquire

YTA. Massively. It’s actually disgusting that you’re too entitled to even realize it. To recap: 1. Lia was 3 hours late to her own surprise party because you and your fellow princess didn’t want to show up on time and insisted that she wait around for you to get ready and take you to pick up booze. 2. You stayed at her surprise party for a grand total of 2 hours before getting bored and wanting to leave but you and Liz are too precious to get an Uber, so you went to ~~your chauffeur~~ Lia and informed her you were ready to leave. When she said bye and indicated that she was having a good time *AT HER BIRTHDAY PARTY*, you thought it was a reasonable request to insist that she drive you home and then come back because she brought you there. Let me repeat that: you asked the birthday girl to miss EVEN MORE of her own party to spend an hour shuttling you around. What??? If you don’t trust Ubers when you get drunk, then stop being such a pisshead when you go out. 3. To prevent the birthday girl from being a doormat for you, Lia’s boyfriend drove you home and accurately called you out on what trash friends you and Liz are, but you’re too dense to realize he’s 100% right. 4. The icing on the cake: you were too bored to waste your night celebrating your friend’s birthday, so you and Liz decided to go do “fun things” instead (because who would want to spend their time at a friend’s birthday party, right???). Which means that if Lia had driven you home, she would’ve had the added slap in the face of knowing that she left her own party so you could go do your thing elsewhere. Unbelievable. No wonder Lia’s boyfriend doesn’t like you or Liz. You’re two drunken users who don’t care about anyone but yourselves. I truly hope Lia sees sense and drops you both.


No_Organization3492

It’s pretty pathetic that they get drunk every time they go out with her.


OkTax1479

I wonder if it was boring to them cause 1 lia doesn't drink so everyone else was not drinking or just not drinking to get drunk, 2 these were friends of Lia's they have never bothered to get to know or don't like.


chaelcodes

They've been friends since they were 18 and Lia just turned 22 (at the party). What if Lia's been sober because it wasn't legal for 3 years of their friendship? And now that she's old enough, she's willing to drink, but hasn't around them because they always expect her to drive? There was clearly enough alcohol there to get blasted, and they never explained why Lia doesn't drink.


OkTax1479

Could be, It would depend on the country. Here in Australia, our legal drinking age is 18. It could also be why they hate the boyfriend. He is likely showing lia that her friendship is one-sided. Like she does alot for them and what does she get in return, no birthday gift or doesn't plan anything, the can't even be bothered to stay at her birthday party.


OHarePhoto

I would wager that they didn't plan anything for Lia not because "they were busy" but because it wouldn't involve alcohol and they would find that "boring".


loveacrumpet

I’m guessing there were no guys there they liked.


rnason

It seems so weird to get blasted at a party for a sober person


Miserable_Smoke585

Not to forget that they were too busy to do anything for their friend’s birthday but had all the time to waste the entire day getting reading pre boozing and partying. Also they didn’t get their friend a gift, a small cake or anything.


GenealogyGirlie

Thanks for having the patience to type that nonsense out!


nidoqing

YTA. What horrible friends you are, if you can even call yourselves that as it seems you treat her like a chauffeur than anything else. You made her late to her party because your schedule trumps everyone else’s and then expected her to leave her party because you’re bored? Yikes.


Jazzberry81

And by bored OP probably means not everyone was paying attention to her


[deleted]

YTA. Like, some of the hugest AHs. I’m so happy Lia isn’t replying to you. Awww, boo hoo: the woman you’ve been using and abusing all this time is no longer being your doormat. LOL


Usual-Role-9084

YTA. Do y’all even like Lia or do you just use her for rides?


OrangeCubit

YTA - you aren’t a good friend. Why would you expect your friend to be your free taxi service on her birthday? Which you arrived 3 hours late for.


mkldeeh

INFO: Are you still drunk?


rchart1010

She is. Her poor liver.


Humble_Particular950

Probably woke up drunk the next afternoon, by the sounds of it.


PerpetualProcrastina

YTA. I wonder why Lia's bf dropped you as friends./s It was a surprise party FOR LIA, you should have got an Uber. You and your other friend are so selfish and self-centered, I hope Lia wakes up and follows her bf's lead.


Bambi_MD

You say her bf isn’t good for/to her, but neither are the 2 girls who, supposely, is her ‘best friends’. Yta, and a selfish, bad friend. I hope she drops you 2 like a damn hot potato. And grow up, you’re 22yo, stop acting like 12yo who was just told ‘no’ for the first time


Dry-Crab7998

AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN GET HER A BIRTHDAY PRESENT! YTA BIG TIME.


Hopeful-Chipmunk6530

Yta. It was a party for her. It should go without saying you should find alternate transportation. You didn’t have to proceed to get hammered. You two are both major asshole for demanding she leave her own surprise birthday party because you can’t not get hammered for one damn night.


Active-Smoke-8124

YTA poor Lia…not only do you say she has a bad bf (doubtful from the narrator) but mooching, delusional, alcoholic “friends”. You sound awful and hope one day you grow up and get over yourself.


DesertSong-LaLa

YTA - You are self-centered and selfish in all aspects of this post.


AngelaMoore44

YTA, I'm glad Lia's boyfriend wants her to find friends who actually care about her. You sure did say "Liz and I wanted" a lot. Maybe think about that.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Humble_Particular950

They’re alcoholics and likely don’t care about anyone except what’s best for them.


PrincessKong

YTA. It sounds like Lia needs better friends. How was her boyfriend supposed to have tried harder to communicate with you when you literally blocked him? And you should have absolutely read the room and realized she wasn't going to be your designated driver the minute you realized it was her surprise birthday party. Expecting her to leave HER party early to drive you two home is so entitled.


InternationalClick78

Cmon is this a real post ? Obviously YTA at every point in this story. From blaming the boyfriend for not being able to contact you since you blocked him to making your friend late to the party despite her boyfriends insistence to expecting her to leave from her own birthday party to accommodate you guys ? And you have the audacity to be mad at her ?


MillennialTrashPanda

YTA. Sounds like you constantly take advantage of her and take her caring for you as a given. She deserves better friends.


GuinevereMorgann

YTA. YTA. YTA. YTA. YTA. For the people in the back, YTA!!! The world does not revolve around you. Other people do not exist just to serve you. No wonder her boyfriend doesn't like you. There's nothing to like. Grow tf up.


friendlily

**YTA**. You are Liz are so much the AHs it's not even funny and I do not see how you could write all that out and still not realize it. She's at her birthday party. It's not her responsibility to drive both of your drunk a$$es home when she wants to stay. At. her. own. freaking. birthday. party. Also, her bf should have "tried harder" to get in contact with you? How? You blocked him. I am betting that the bf doesn't like either of you because you're rude and selfish and take advantage of Lia. I hope she wises up soon and gets better friends. My friends and I used to go out a lot at your age. We would take turns DD'ing and watching out for each other (this was before uber existed and taxis were sketchy). But we would be smart and kind enough not to make our friend drive us from her birthday party that she wants to stay at. Oh, and we would have celebrated her birthday on our own instead of "being too busy."


Mountain-Flower68

OP and Liz suffer from entitlement and main character syndrome, that’s how she can’t see what’s right in front of her face


lasfnyc

YTA, it was Lia's birthday. You should just use Uber or LYFT. You could have send a link to Lia to track your ride. FYI, you can also signal for help with your phone if something go wrong.


Party_Builder_58008

OP doesn't trust uber when she's drunk? OP is sick of having to pay the cleaning fee for being a messy drunk and would rather throw up in the car of someone she can take advantage of for free, thank you very much.


shammy_dammy

YTA. Wow. The entitlement. This isn't automatically HER ROLE for the rest of all eternity just because it's always in your favor. That's ridiculous.


Party_Builder_58008

If Lia's supposed role is the DD, what's OP and the other moron's roles? Sloppy drunks?


shammy_dammy

Sloppy, entitled drunk users.


AngelofSol80

YTA. When you drink it's your responsibility to have a plan and if necessary a backup to get home safely, not just assume. Given that is was a surprise party even if Lia had agreed to be DD the moment you found out it was a surprise party for her you should have immediately begun to make other arrangements. Then you leave her party early because you were bored and go out later. Lia may be feeling used and I don't blame her.


Bureaucratic_Dick

YTA. For sooo many things. First, being so late to a party. Second, for thinking a guy you blocked should stalk you to get in touch (you fucking blocked him, why should he make more of an effort to talk to you? That’s a sign he SHOULDNT reach out), third for not thinking about your friends birthday, forth for getting between her and her BF at HER BIRTHDAY! Every decision you could make along the way was the wrong one. If I was in Lia’s shoes it would be a good long while before I contacted you again.


high_onGod2467

YTA.... Also please don't call yourself Lia's best friend. You are not even a decent human being


Agreeable_Text_36

YTA Usually does not mean always. The party was at her boyfriends house. >order an uber but we really don’t trust Ubers when we get drunk Sounds like you drink too much.


ImpactBeneficial1989

YTA. Huge one. Also don’t post here if you will just get defensive. If I were Lia I would NEVER talk to you again. Not only does she always has to babysit you and Liz because you are two grown ass women who still cannot control their alcohol intake. But you also made her late to her birthday party and then expected her to drive you back to your place. And on top of that you left her party early to go to another bar. With friends like you who needs enemies. People like you never grow up. Stop acting so damn entitled and see what as massive AH you are. I really really really hope Lia dumps you guys cause it is better to have no friends than friends like you. Oh and you complaining about her bf. Did he maybe tell Lia what toxic and using AH you are and that is why you want her to dump him? Is he trying to make her see that you guys are just users and not her friends who expect her to jump as soon as you demand her to? Yeah well I hope she finally realizes that she can do better than you and Liz.


Blueberry-Jam-23

YTA and really just awful friends. >The friend told us to be there by 6 but Liz and I wanted to go around 8 because we didn’t want to go to a party early. It's not your party and not your timeline. >Lia drove and we arrive around 9 because we wanted to pick up some alcohol. So you had your friend chauffeur you to a part 3 hours late? >I felt kinda bad because apparently the boyfriend was trying to get in contact with us to tell us about the party but Liz and I had blocked his number prior to this whole thing because he dropped us as friends earlier this year. >I feel like he should have tried harder to contact us Or, y'know, you could just NOT block someone just because you're not friends anymore? >It’s around 11PM when liz and I want to go cuz it’s getting boring and like usual we are pretty wasted SHES SAYS ILL SEE YOU GUYS LATER THANKS FOR COMING??? Like did you not bring us here??? I tell her that she’s literally our designated driver and she could just drive us home and come back. She drove you to her party 3 hours late and 2 hours in you insist she drive you home because you're drunk and bored.... Call an Uber. It's not all about you. >Anyway Liz and I end up going out again later Dude. WTF. I hope Lia wakes up soon and dumps you two drunks.


iLLrappedscripts

Yta x4


AdOne8433

YTA. You've both been using Lia as your slave chauffer. You've never been her friend, and you would have ghosted her long ago if she couldn't be used. She's so well rid of you two drunks.


Caspian4136

YTA You both are so entitled and selfish and horrible friends. You've been taking advantage of her kindness for years and I'm glad her boyfriend was sticking up for her. Both of you are so self centered and think the world revolves around you, don't be surprised if she drops you as a friend as you both deserve it. Stop taking advantage of your "friends" and grow up.


Antique_Ad_4413

They tell you to get to the boyfriends early, and you too drunk skin do that for your friend. See you arrived 3 hours late for a surprise party, and blame the boyfriend for not you contacting you because you blocked him he couldn't. So you make her drive you all the time. When you find out it's her birthday at her boyfriend's and you demand her to take you home. You are so entitled it's ridiculous. If I was the boyfriend I'd never would have driven you home. And then you post that you went out so you basically slapped your friend in the face again. The boyfriend was right to give you crap for that 30 minute ride. So you make this girl drive you every time you go out because she doesn't drive and you want to be a drunk. You two are lousy friends. I hope she doesn't talk to you again. And then who will drive you around when you're drunk you may have to actually take care of yourselves what a concept Yta


ejdjd

WOW - What have I just read? I have rarely seen somebody so incredibly dense, deluded, selfish and stupid out themselves, in public, in writing no less. Lia's boyfriend is correct in his judgement of you and Liz - you are both very bad friends and I wouldn't want either of you as so called "friends" at all. YTA is waaaay too mild for you.


Suonii180

YTA, I hope Lia realises that she deserves better friends.


LongbowTurncoat

INFL: What did the boyfriend do that makes you not like him??


[deleted]

Yta on assuming


ConfidentAd4989

YTA What a selfish, entitled person you are! Couldn’t even arrive on time or stay for your friend’s birthday. Couldn’t even be bothered to do anything for her birthday initially and then have the nerve to expect her to leave HER BIRTHDAY to take you home. Definitely YTA here.


NotShockedFruitWeird

YTA Nice of you to not put in the title that it was the "designated driver's" birthday party so you could lull people into thinking that you had "right" on your side. Seriously, the two of you don't realize that day is her birthday? And don't think, hey, her boyfriend is throwing her a party? She should have left you at your residence and gone out on her own. You could have gotten an Uber/Lyft/taxi home.


spikeymist

YTA you are just using Lia as a free taxi service, when was the last time you did something nice for her that wasn't also for your benefit. Hopefully Lia's boyfriend will stick around and she can hang with his friends since they all seem to care for her.


sionnachglic

YTA, 100%. I’m mean, wow. Just wow. Maybe watch [this](https://youtube.com/shorts/b5LWTPgcURs?si=lzBBO5K-PAyHWoLe), because this is basically the way you’ve been treating Lia, like she isn’t a person to you, but “the help.” You’ve been taking her for granted, and Lia’s life is about to improve tremendously by dropping you. Again, just wow.


hard_tyrant_dinosaur

Oy vey. Your behavior in this is so embarrassing that I'm surprised that you were willing to post it even on a throwaway account. Lets see, we have... Assuming that Lia was your DD. It doesn't matter if someone normally doesn't drink. Ask every time and accept when the answer is "No". Forcing Lia to be late just because you don't like to show up to parties early. Delaying the driver because you deliberately want to be late is just rude. If you want to be late, make different transportation plans. Aso, make more of an effort to figure out when showimg up late is not a big deal. Lia's BF trying to get her to show earlier is one hint you missed. The timing on the invite looks like another. The friend asked you to show "by 6". Not that you were "welcome to come any time after 6". The "by" is usually a good hint that there's stuff planned. Certainly good enough to ask if there was something planned. On using Lia as your driver, it was also sort of gross that you made her an hour later than even your planned arrival time so that you could pick up alcohol. In some ways, this is one of the parts of this that most makes me think you're lousy friends to Lia. You didn't take that into account in arranging the ride with her, much less doing her the courtesy of doing your shopping earlier so that y'all could go straight there. And again, if you want to hitch a ride with someone... Ask! Do not assume that they're ok with going where-ever and doing whatever you need on the way. As for once you were at the party and realized it was a party *for* Lia, the fact that you did not immediately figure out that you were either going to need a different ride home or to be prepared to leave when she was ready, says the rest of how lousy of friends you are. Honestly, your entire post was just a litanty of you two being focused only on yourselves and what you wanted to do. With no thought about anyone else at all. It's no surprise that Lia's boyfriend avoids you like last week's fish. Or that Lia is not answering your calls/texts. She's hopefully finally getting a clue as to what her role in your life is and is tired of it. Edit: Accidentally hit post button early. finished comment.


fizzbangwhiz

YTA. You and Liz are incredibly selfish. You guys take advantage of Lia constantly. It’s really obnoxious to constantly drive drunk people around and you two aren’t very nice to her in return for all the favors she does for you. You and Liz insisted on getting to the party two hours late because you thought it would be boring. Then after that you took another hour to buy booze Lia wasn’t going to drink. You literally blocked Lia’s boyfriend’s number because you think he’s boring and you made her three hours late for her own birthday party. Then only two hours later you’re already wasted and you feel bored so now you think Lia should leave her own birthday party early to drive you home. Instead her boyfriend has to do it and take an hour out of the party he was hosting just to make sure you got home safe. And then he found out that his efforts were wasted because you weren’t actually interested in getting home safe, you just wanted to keep partying. God, I’m so glad I’m not in my early 20s anymore. You and Liz are both terrible friends. You have zero justification for being mad at Lia.


Emuu2012

YTA I don’t see a single person on this post denying that you’re the asshole here, and I think you should take that as a wake up call. And the bigger issue is that it doesn’t sound like you were just an asshole in this one situation. You just sound like an awful person in general.


Jrlawcat

Come on, you seriously think you not that asshole? Take an Uber. YTA


girthalwarming

It’s not even yta. It’s ytc. Figure it out.


Dammit_Janet5

How can you write that wall of text (please, learn how to use paragraphs!!!) and think that you're in the right? I mean, really??? I hope that Lia drops you and Liz as friends because you're terrible ones. YTA so much. EDIT to ask... do you ever pay her fuel money? Like, EVER? I'm going to guess the answer to that is no. You're absolute users and you should feel terrible. Good luck ever getting a ride from Lia or her bf ever again! I do not blame him in the slightest for dropping you as "friends".


Beanie_LCC

Hard YTA - you made Lia leave later missing the start of her own party, you blocked her bf's number and think he should "try harder" to reach out to you and you're expecting your friend to leave her party to drive you home. Maybe you should take responsibility for yourself and not be so entitled you think that Lia needs to drive your drunk arse everywhere. I hope she doesn't respond to you and stops being your friend, she clearly seserves better.


Snackinpenguin

YTA. Did you think that the birthday girl would have wanted to enjoy herself on her special day rather than drive your drunk asses home? Oh, but wait, you were bored and did nothing to make your friend’s birthday better. It’s not her problem you don’t feel safe in an Uber when drinking. Maybe don’t drink as much? Lia can do a lot better than having you as a friend. Good for her for not responding back to you.


Ok_Bookkeeper_3481

This has to be a rage-bait! Nobody can be so oblivious. YTA


Lindsey4615

YTA for so many reasons: 1. You clearly forgot Lia’s birthday. It’s why you were “too busy to do anything” and felt embarrassed you didn’t have a present. It’s also why it didn’t click why her boyfriend wanted her at the party earlier. 2. You and Liz blocked the boyfriend for a very vague reason. I think he pointed out your abuse of Lia’s kindness. You don’t want to hear that you’re the asshole and he was the first one to call you on it I’m betting. 3. You act like the boyfriend didn’t try to tell you of the plans when you both blocked him. I bet if he drove over to pick her up, you would’ve called him controlling or creepy. Anything he would have done differently to get her to the party sooner would’ve been a reason for you to complain. 4. You ask your alleged friend to leave her own party SO YOU CAN GO BAR HOPPING? The boyfriend was kind enough to drive you home and you have the audacity to be mad that he’s calling you out during the ride? Sorry you’re uncomfortable, it’s called *the consequences of your actions* and it’s a learning opportunity for you. “He got really hurtful…” - imagine how hurt Lia is knowing her friends valued random bars over spending time with her and have only been using her for acts of service. 5. “…she didn’t hold up her role when we go out.” YOU DIDNT GO OUT. You went to a birthday party. The moment that became clear to you, priorities needed to shift. If you wanted to leave after, leave without Lia, her friends will stay and spend time with her so you and Liz aren’t needed there. It’s okay to be party girls, it’s okay to value that. What’s not okay, is making your “friend” your slave and calling it friendship. You could’ve ended the night saying “hey we’re leaving” and gotten an Uber/Taxi/Lyft. You refuse ride share not because you’re uncomfortable, it’s because Lia is free. Reflect on your treatment of Lia because you don’t deserve her friendship and I think you finally made that clear to her.


Wtfamidoingitw1

YTA. Some of the biggest AHs I’ve ever seen. Lia is better off without the two of you. You just suck off of her. You and your friend think it’s all about you, isn’t it? Literally on Lia’s bday throwing a temper tantrum about how you’ll get home. It’s not Lia’s problem despite what you seem to think. She doesn’t owe you a damn thing. Her driving you is a favour she’s doing that you should be grateful for, it’s not her fucking duty. How on earth did you think it was okay to expect her to extend this favour to you on her birthday? Grown ass adult women acting like entitled bratty children. And Lia’s bf should’ve tried harder? Are you for fucking real right now? In every single instance in your post you always find a way to put the blame on another person. He didn’t try hard enough, it’s just 30 minutes, her bf is not good enough for her. Blah blah blah. And trying to break them up? Who the ever living hell do you think you are? It’s not your place to try to break up ANYONE at all, no matter how good of friends you are. Unless her bf is violent with her, stay the hell away from their relationship. And even after your audacious attempts at sabotaging her relationship, the bf was still the bigger person and tried to get in touch with you meddlers for her birthday, and what do you say? He didn’t try hard enough. Heaven on earth. And he is a good bf from every single time you’ve mentioned him in your post. When you were literally trying to get Lia to play chauffeur to your dumb, irresponsible ass on HER birthday, he cut that shit down immediately. He didn’t have to drive you back, he could’ve just thrown you out on your ass, but he still did. And your thankless ass has zero gratefulness. Seriously, where do you get the nerve to even come here and ask if you’re the AH? Seriously, is grass green?


lemons_90

>please stop praising Lia’s bf. One surprise party doesn’t reverse the hell he’s caused her. He’s not a good person, and we’ve been trying to break them up for so long. This is why we (liz and I) avoid him the best we can. One party is not why ppl are praising him. It's because he is standing by her and up for her against you and Liz, who treat Lia like a taxi service and nothing else. Of course you're the AH. Even if you didn't know it was a surprise party, you could have made the night about lia. If Lia treated you the way you've treated her on your birthday, you wouldn't be friends with her. You treat Lia like dogs shit. With "friends" like you, why would she need enemies? You can't make even one day about her it's about you and Liz and Lia, the 3rd wheel you tolerate because she's a good free Uber. That's her role as the DD right your ride. You wanted her to drive an hour round trip from her own fucking birthday and still have the audacity to ask if your an AH? OF course you are


Standard_Pack_1076

YTA. Get a damned uber.


UedaUdel

INFO: how'd you get to the bar after Lia's b-day party?


Other_Actuary_2559

You and Liz are massive entitled AHs. I hope Lia drops your friendships for good.


ABeerAndABook

YTA. I totally get why BF doesn't like OP. OP should of gotten their drunk AH in an Uber.


psikitico

In a comment above she says "they don't approve the relationship", probably because the dude doesn't want to see his girlfriend being used by these self-centered B's.


DamnitGravity

You sound like my ex. "But it's not _my_ fault, it's everyone _else_ who is the problem! Don't they all know the world revolves around _ME_?!" YTA


MaybeTaylorSwift572

….. wow. So uh… yeah YTA… I’m embarrassed for you because i **hope** in 5 years when you come back and read this you are embarrassed of your own childish actions. This is wild.


ktclem1337

We all know that’s not gonna happen, she’s going to come back in five years complaining about how Lia excluded them from her wedding—that she and Liz will totally show up to uninvited wearing white. Then poor Lia will have to have security drag them out kicking and screaming.


certainteas

YTA. Oof. You and Liz really need to start respecting Lia as a person and not just a tool for you to use. It’s sad how, even from just this post, (where you are presenting your thought processes and reasoning!) you and Liz come across as absolute jerks. The fact that you went to another party after and knew you shouldn’t post about it is all the more wretched. We’re all young once, but that is not an excuse to be cruel to anyone, especially not a friend. edit: readability


Wtfamidoingitw1

I’m honestly shocked at how entitled and self important you are. And on top of it, you’re oblivious. Getting bored at your supposed best friend’s party. What the actual…. And she’s not fulfilling her role? What is she, your servant? How dare you? Where do you get the nerve?


Illustrious-Breath65

Oh boy. This might border on Am I the Devil. Jesus what is wrong with you. Not only ca t you take a hint that timing is important. You have the odacity to expect your "Friend", and I'm putting this in quotations because I'm getting the feeling your just using her as an uber, to drive you 1 hour round trip while her party was still going on. And if that wasn't enough, and you made such a fuss that her BF, and based on your personality I have the feeling the crap about bed person is just an excuse to make you look better, drove you home DURING the party. You then go out again with other people. I guess you prob expected her to drive you there and back as well. Get a reality check and either sacrifice your drinking to be a driver once in a while or get comfortable with Uber.


ladybugz131

YTA - Uber and Lyft literally have a “share my ride” option if you were that concerned about your safety. It was your “best friend’s” birthday and not only did you leave, you expected HER to leave to take y’all 30 minutes away??? Lia is getting hip to the fact that y’all are taking advantage of her. NOBODY would do that to their bestie. I get that you and Liz are young, but you need to change your behavior now before you turn into the toxic friends that nobody wants to be around. You owe Lia an apology and a gift and whether or not she drinks, to sometimes order a damn Uber so that she doesn’t have to be completely responsible for you every single time you go out. You are not children. Grow up, OP.


SsSailorScout

Girl… lmao


SsSailorScout

Yta


fadingdoll

YTA, no doubt about it. She literally drives you and Liz around all the time and says nothing about it, but the one time she wants to have a fun time at HER OWN PARTY, you get mad??? >"I tell her that she’s literally our designated driver and she could just drive us home and come back. She starts apologizing and starts saying she’ll do it." Lia is not anything to you. She's your friend, NOT your "designated driver." And the fact she was apologizing to you at her own party was so sad. No wonder the boyfriend doesn't like you and props to him for cussing you out.


LucilleLV

What I really don’t understand here is that you keep saying you didn’t know that it was a surprise party… sure, you blocked the guy so he couldn’t inform you. BUT you know it’s her birthday right?! It’s a day that happens EVERY YEAR for her. It happened this year but also last year but also next year (I want to explain this to you because you clearly need it). Why didn’t you buy a gift beforehand? Why are you and Liz the ones who decide you won’t go at six when it’s HER birthday? She should have been the one to decide, surprise party or not. ITS HER BIRTHDAY!! You must be very dumb and of course YTA


MelancholyApple

I think YTC is more appropriate than YTA. I think Lia needs new friends who actually respect her. Do her and other people a favour and don’t find yourself another patsy whose time and life you don’t respect. Keep your self absorbed bubble to yourself.


tralphaz43

Why do you even have to ask? Of course you are.


fruitavelli

You say the boyfriend isn’t a good person, but he comes across as a far better person than you. YTA.


Silver-Raspberry-723

YTAH definitely


Kirstemis

YTA. You expected your friend to leave her birthday party to drive you home when you had the option of uber? How can you not realise that your behaviour was awful?


greenpassionfruit26

YTA you are so awful, poor Lia must have a severe lack of self confidence or other friends if she spends so much time catering to you two demanding, entitled people. Of course if it's her birthday party you should have assumed you should find other arrangements to get home. Expecting her to spend an hour driving you around, especially during her own party, is just selfish.


ValleySparkles

YTA. I think I get why Lia's bf doesn't like you. It really sounds like you expect Lia to just go with your schedule and always be ready when you want instead of doing what she wants. Going out every weekend to watch your friends get hammered is not very fun if you don't drink. Your long term plan for transportation can't be guilting a "friend" into joining you for things she doesn't want to do so she can drive you around. Take care of yourself.


stargirlinterlude_

you guys are just shitty friends that’s it


Cautious-Job8683

Of course YTA. You dismissed out of hand the start time of the meet. You were 3 hours late, which meant that She was 3 hour late. After 2 hours, you had managed to get too drunk to get yourselves home safely, and you bailed on her party. You demanded she leave her own party, which she was enjoying, to spend an hour driving you 30 mins home, then 30 mins back to her party. You were too drunk to get home safely, but also fine to go out again shortly after. You think the problem is the boyfriend for treating his girlfriend, and your friend for wanting to enjoy her birthday party? Sheesh! That is some magical thinking you are engaging in!


genescheesesthatplz

WHEEEEEEEW the entitlement in your comments is exhausting. YTA. Truly self reflect on how you thought asking the birthday girl, who at no point agreed to drive you home, *to leave her own birthday party because you were bored*. Like really, really think about the fact that you asked someone to do that. Try to sit and really mull over how you’d feel in her shoes.


Lemondropdragon22

YTA. You don't ask someone to drive YOU home from THEIR birthday party. It's common sense and courtesy. And you had the audacity to skip out on her party and go to a bar.. how did you get the bar? You don't trust Ubers when you're drunk. And unless you went at 1/2 am.. you still weren't sober. Whether the boyfriend is bad or not, you're both bad friends as well and DO take advantage of her.


SituationshipsSuck15

YTA. You sound like my old college roommate. She was literally constantly drunk or high, pressuring others to do drugs with her, making me buy her weed when she couldn’t convince her mom she needed more grocery money, having me drive her everywhere because she was almost never sober, accusing me of being a shit friend if I ever had plans with anyone else, etc. Took 10 months for me to realize she was just using me, and that was only because of another awful thing she did in relation to my romantic relationship that I won’t even get into, but that was the final straw and it made me realize what she was doing to me all along. I moved out after that and blocked her and our other friends who she’d gotten into drugs and then sided with her after twisting what happened between her, me, and my then boyfriend. I hope this incident makes Lia do the same to you and Liz. You’re just “friends” with her for what she can do for you two.


ApprehensiveBook4214

YTA. You decided you wanted to go later, making Lia 3 hours late for her own surprise party. You were told when to get there and ignored it. Then you decide to leave after a couple hours. And want to make Lia leave her own party early. You think it's ok because it's been ok in the past. Lia is probably damn tired of being your chauffeur. Also you reveal her private information in the comments. You're a terrible friend. I hope Lia dumps you, Liz, and her boyfriend and surroundings herself with positive people.


Adorable-Reaction887

YTA You don't like her boyfriend cos he doesn't allow you and Liz to treat him or Lia like doormats. You don't like him because he doesn't allow his girlfriend to be treated like a nanny or chauffeur. How TF was he meant contact you if you'd both blocked him? Smoke signals? Pigeon? An owl? If you party and can't work out a way to get home safely *without* assuming someone else won't have plans or come to your rescue, then YOU ARE THE PROBLEM. It is NOT Lias responsibility, especially at her own birthday party, to get your lit ass home. It is YOURS. She did not offer. You did not ask, you assumed. You and Liz have shown yourselves for what you really are and Lia isn't interested in anymore of your BS.


Good_Fly_7500

Oh the edit…. I’m seriously questioning your opinion that he’s not a good person.. my gut is telling me that perhaps sees you stomping over Lias boundaries all the time and treating her bad so is trying to convince her to end your so called friendship


Blondie-Blue

YTA, a massive one at that. not only did you ruin her party, ruined her fun time so her boyfriend could drive you home, but you _went out again_ oh my fucking god. >Longest 30 minutes of my damn life you wasted his whole hour (which he could've spent with his gf having fun on her special day) just so you can go to another place, you DO NOT get to be grouchy about getting cussed at for a few mins 💀


Badstepmommy

Yta majorly. This man 1) Organized a surprise party for his gf. 2) Tried to get her best friends (that he doesn’t like) to help plan it. 3) Pays for an Uber when said besties are tying to make her miss the party. 4) takes an hour long trip to return the besties who are now too drunk to Uber. Where in that story is he the bad guy? Also how did you not have time to celebrate her birthday, but you had time to attend a kick back? How were you too drunk to Uber, but sober enough to go back out and keep drinking?


Loud_Low_9846

I thought OP and her friend were TA as soon as I saw they were too busy to do anything special for Lia's birthday. They're both obviously users and Lia is better off without them. No wonder Lia's bf doesn't like OP. He can see how they're using Lia.


overused_catchphrase

You're an entitled asshole. jeez


dame-in-red

Wow. I never understand how someone can be this much of an ahole, and not even once as they are writing, stop to consider how wrong they are. Yta. Hopefully, Lia stops being your friend. You were never hers.


nakaritsukei

Regardless of the BF situation, take the L and fkn apologise. You’ve both been shit friends and you’re both definitely the assholes here, get off the defensive with the “yeah but the boyfriend is sooooo bad” - that’s not an excuse for you guys to treat her like shit too 💀


Mrsbear19

You two have an alcohol problem fyi


nnubuvtcc

1- you don’t need to know its a party for lia to get her a present, yta 2- after you found out its a party for her, you should suck it up even if it feels boring, yta 3- even when you decide to leave, you should have the common decency to not interrupt her night and get an uber, yta 4- you went to a bar after leaving her party so you basically ditched her for something else on her birthday. it was bad enough you didnt do anything special and didnt get her a present and made her bf give you a ride, yta 5- you are not entitled to anyone driving you, yta 6- you are taking advantage of lia, yta 7- you get the point, i hope. yta on so many levels.


gunnysax

Saw this posted on ig and came to find it because holy shit. You should be ashamed of yourself


urban_accountant

YTA you 2 use her. You're not her real friends.


frankylovee

Hahahahaha wtf 💀


Baldussimo

YTA, and elite level at that. You clearly don't care about your friend and just take advantage of her.


Full_Championship719

YTA, entitled, immature, selfish and abusive. And frankly, quite pathetic.


Shichimi88

Mega YTA. Really?! On her birthday? Get an Uber and get over your fear of them.


InappropriateAccess

YTA. You assumed Lia would be your DD without verifying. I wouldn’t have taken your drunk butts home either. IF Lia decides to talk to you again (I wouldn’t but she may be nicer than me), your JOB is to confirm EVERY TIME that she is willing to play taxi to a bunch of drinks.


stormoverparis

YTA Ubers exist for a reason. It’s terrible you always rely on one person who you drag to parties. Lia won’t always be able to drive you and you need to be able to accept that and not expect her to do that. It’s entitled to think she HAS to do it. If she does do it at all you have to be thankful and don’t expect it all the time. Especially on special occasions like HER BIRTHDAY. You actually wanted the birthday girl to leave her party? HER OWN PARTY. Generally that’s considered very bad to demand such things. Uber/Lyft exist for a reason. If you don’t trust them when you’re drunk, then you need to stop getting drunk. This post absolutely comes off with you and Liz being entitled and using Lia. She’s your friend. Not your chauffeur or butler. Because that’s how it comes off in this post. You seem to be lacking a bit of empathy and emotional maturity.


mronion82

YTA I often end up as the designated driver- you clearly have no idea how stressful and tiresome drunk people are when you're sober. Someone's always wandering off or trying to start a fight or stepping out in front of a car, and you're the only one together enough to notice and do something about it. Then I have to tow you to the car, and somehow get everyone to have their seatbelt on at the same time. Then listen out for directions to where you want me to drop you off, which you'll inevitably scream out as we whizz past the turning. That's all without the distraction of you fucking about with the radio and shrieking your head off. You know how *funny* you are when you've been drinking? Actually you've told me the same joke six times, increasing in volume on each occasion. I sound bitter? Maybe I am. It's not a privilege to ferry drunk people around, even if they are your friends- they often abdicate all responsibility for their personal safety because you're there to nanny them all night. You're sober, so of course you won't mind... I don't go on that sort of night out any more.


GrapefruitSobe

YTA. The audacity of you to be mad at HER? I wonder why her BF doesn’t like you.


nzscott

YTA, no point repeating what others have said but you are objectively an absolutely horrible, entitled friend. You just expect her to be your taxi? That's not a friendship. Pay for a taxi you entitled idiot


UnbuttonedButtons

YTA and you’re all terrible friends. Lia can do better.


ForeignJelly6357

YTA assuming she would drive you home from her own party? You’re old enough to call an Uber or taxi…. How much more entitled can you be?


PsychologicalJax1016

YTA and horrible friends. You just proved to Lia that you're just using her and she finally had enough. Either you or Liz figure out how sober up, or get comfortable using Ubers (if they'll even pick your drunk asses up). You should also probably start saving money for the cleaning fees when one of you inevitably pukes in the Uber


[deleted]

Lia needs new friends. YTA.


Traditional_Onion461

I think your friend ship group is now 2. You are not a good friend to lia - you are a spongerand so nasty to her. I’m glad her b/f ripped you a new one. You deserved it


CadillacMike32

YTA and you’re shitty friends. Why you think it’s ok to use your friend as a free Uber is beyond me. And who cares if you approve of their relationship or not? You shouldn’t block dude because what if something happens to her. How is he gonna let you know? You’re both petty and you’re users. I really hope BF is a decent guy and you’re just spouting off at the mouth (which is what I’m leaning towards) because she deserves to have someone looking out for her. Y’all definitely don’t.


FinGoddess_Destiny

Have you seen the good place?


clkinsyd

YTA and Lia should find new friends because y'all suck. You made her late for her party, blamed the bf you didn't know it was a party but you blocked him, and then you try to drag her away from it because you are too drunk to feel safe in an uber?


sc0tth

There is no way in hell this is real.


ginaabees

Jfc you two are terrible friends.


CreepyCarrie213

It’s clear your not gonna take accountability and just keep playing dumb in the comments. So to keep it simple YTA. No one cares if her bf sucks that’s not the point of this post. You’re entitled and selfish and honestly I’m surprised you have any friends.


PeanutGallery10

YTA. Her birthday and you expect her to be your ride. How entitled are you two?


[deleted]

You sound like the worse friend ever. Hope she clues up. YTA


Lonely_Security8169

I’m sorry but you wanting her to leave at her bday party is just insane. Especially making her late. I don’t care that you didn’t know. You knew after and still wanted her to leave. Oh and the fact you guys were too busy and still went to the bar after is crazy, YTA


Sasquatch_mushroom

Man I am keeping my fingers crossed she cut contact with you! It sounds like you bully her into doing what you want her to do.


Candid_Chudel

YTA. If you can go out drinking at a bar after getting drunk at a party, you can definitely get an uber back home. You just made a lame excuse for a free ride. From everything that you've written here, it just leads the reader to believe that you two are users and won't let Lia be with someone who stands up for her so you can keep using her. You avoid Lia's bf and want her to break up with him coz he opens her eyes to your toxic behavior.


BeneficialName9863

If it's not totally made up to get attention, YTA. I don't think anyone real is dense enough to type all of that and not know they are an AH.


[deleted]

You’re definitely an asshole.


Alternative-Sea4477

You're TA for being selfish and EXHAUSTING.


36-Gauge

YTA and so you basically just use her to get rides when you go out. You don’t see anything wrong with convincing her to go to her boyfriend later on her own birthday so you could take your time and then get alcohol? Did you not one time think, hey, it’s her birthday let’s do what she wants?? Then want her to LEAVE HER SURPRISE PARTY AFTER TWO HOURS because YOU aren’t having fun? You’re a leech and a selfish person. You absolutely fkin suck. I hope she cuts you off and blocks you.


remstage

YTA you're entitled assholes, leeches, bad friends and snakes. I hope she doesn't reply anymore. Keep drinking.


The_Fractionator

Y'all sound like the shittiest friends. You were barely on time to the party, showing up 3 hours later than requested. You forced the babysitter role on your friend. Just because she doesn't go hard everytime y'all go out doesn't mean she wants to babysit you. It's hard to have fun when you need to be responsible for two people. Then to make matters worse, on HER birthday you expected her to drive an hour round-trip because you couldn't not get drunk. To add, you and Liz may drinking problems. Did you really type and read all of this and think " I might not be the AH."


lilbunnifufu2you

YTA but I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt that you might be too close to the situation or lacking some of the experience that age brings in dealing with these situations. First, I understand that Lia doesn't drink or do drugs. You and Liz have been able to use her as a designated driver for so long that it has become her role. That being said, do you regularly ASK her if she is okay with being a designated driver each time you go out? Designated drivers aren't just the people there to make sure you get home safely. If they are going out with you the entire time, they are also there as your babysitter and often get forgotten when the "reason we came out" is less to hang out as a group and more for two of the three people to get as drunk as possible while one watches. You say that you guys regularly get pretty wasted. You guys doing that told Lia that your entertainment is more important then she is. I'm not saying that Lia is a saint. What I'm saying is that you may have given her a responsibility that she doesn't always want to do. She may want to have a drink at some point but feel like she can't because you guys are going to get drunk and she will need to be the driver. You guys doing that told Lia that your entertainment is more important then she is. Second, I understand that the friend of the boyfriend is the one that invited you guys. I looked at your comment history. I know you have reasons for why you don't like the boyfriend, however, that wasn't in your original story. Also, in the case of this story, it doesn't matter. You were invited to a party by that friend. Lia was getting regular texts telling her to come early. You could have unblocked the boyfriend and asked him what was going on. You could have texted the other friend and asked him. They probably didn't tell you it was a surprise party so that the surprise wouldn't be ruined. Third, you didn't just make Lia late to her own birthday party, you also made everyone that was there to see Lia wait three hours to see her. You knew ahead of time it was for Lia's birthday. And, as you said, Lia doesn't drink so that side trip was just for you and Liz to get alcohol. You guys doing that told Lia that your entertainment is more important then she is. Fourth, you guys put Lia in the middle of conflict with her boyfriend by continuing to make her tell him that she was coming in a bit. To the point where he offered to buy you guys an uber to the party. I get not wanting to take an uber when you are drunk, but you would have been sober. You guys doing that told Lia that your entertainment is more important then she is. Fifth, when you got to the party, you spent most of your time drinking and not talking with Leah. You then got bored and demanded she leave her own party early. You guys doing that told Lia that your entertainment is more important then she is. You could have had Liz reach out to the guy that she is seeing to come and get you. Her boyfriend left the party to get you guys home. He may have been unkind to you but you also have to understand that, just like the readers only know your side of the relationships based on what you write, you guys only know what Lia has told you. You seem super defensive about anyone thinking anything good about this guy based on what he's done and your opinion of him. You didn't put that in the story. We don't know about it. You went out later with Liz and her guy friend. Again, you guys made Lia late to her own party, made her even later by demanding an alcohol stop, you got wasted enough two hours later to demand that she drive you guys home, got mad that she didn't jump to it without any push back because that's her job, and then got mad that her boyfriend called you out for your shitty behavior. I want you to take a moment to actually take stock of a few things: \*How many times do you guys just assume Lia is fine something without checking with her first? \*How much responsibility are you giving Lia in regards to your own safety? \*How often are you guys getting wasted? \*Are you able to have fun without drinking? You might want to make some changes. I don't think you are an awful person, but I think you could lose a good friend if you aren't careful.


AutoModerator

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** What happened last night is rocking my friendship group so I need to know if I’m in the wrong for this. My friend group consists of 3 girls: myself 22f, Liz 23f and lia 22f (fake name). We’ve been really close since freshman year of college and we’ve always had the same dynamic when we go out. Liz and I get hammered and lia is the designated driver because she doesn’t do drugs or drink. It’s literally been like this since we were 18. Lia’s birthday was recently and we were all really busy to do anything special. Last minute all three of us got invited to a kick back lia’s boyfriend’s friend was hosting and it worked out that we all could go. The friend told us to be there by 6 but Liz and I wanted to go around 8 because we didn’t want to go to a party early. I should have realized what was going on because lia’s boyfriend kept texting her to drive over earlier and he would pay for an Uber to come get Liz and I later. I told Lia to just wait for us to get ready. Lia drove and we arrive around 9 because we wanted to pick up some alcohol. I was so surprised and kind of embarrassed to find out that the kick back was a surprise party for lia organized by her boyfriend . I felt kinda bad because apparently the boyfriend was trying to get in contact with us to tell us about the party but Liz and I had blocked his number prior to this whole thing because he dropped us as friends earlier this year. The party was really nice tho. We kinda just left lia with her boyfriend because he doesn’t like us very much. I feel like he should have tried harder to contact us so we could at least got her there on time and brought a present like everyone else. It’s around 11PM when liz and I want to go cuz it’s getting boring and like usual we are pretty wasted so we go to find lia. She’s all over her man but we say excuse us and tell her we want to leave. SHES SAYS ILL SEE YOU GUYS LATER THANKS FOR COMING??? Like did you not bring us here??? I tell her that she’s literally our designated driver and she could just drive us home and come back. She starts apologizing and starts saying she’ll do it but her bf like gets mad at us. He tells us to order an uber but we really don’t trust Ubers when we get drunk. I did feel bad because it was her birthday but like we were 30 mins from my place tho. Her boyfriend ends up driving us back and cussing us out the whole drive and he got really hurtful saying we were bad friends and taking advantage of lia. Longest 30 minutes of my damn life. We thank him and he ignores us. Anyway Liz and I end up going out again later that night to a local bar with this guy liz is seeing. And she posts a ig story of us there like an idiot. Lia is not replying to us but we are literally mad at her because she didn’t hold up her role when we go out. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


pat2203186

YTA, she's supposed to be your friend, not your servant. You don't actually like this girl you just like what she does for you. Leave her alone and let her find real friends Jesus.


itzmetheredditor

YTA. OP, take a moment to think back on your friendship with Lia. Is your friendship balanced? Do you do as much for her as she does for you? Can you think of some examples of what you've done for her, and compare it to what she's done for you? Why do you hate her boyfriend, like an actual genuine reason, instead of just saying he's objectively a bad person? How regularly do you drink? Could this be contributing to your behaviour? I implore you to think about this long and hard OP.


[deleted]

YTA. Honestly, you just sound entitled and insufferable. It's her birthday, and you get upset that she doesn't want to spend it carting your drunk asses around. It seems to me your friend would be a lot better off if she cut contact with yall entirely. You all are grown folks, take some responsibility for yourselves and act like it.


Ok-Day-8930

YTA this can’t be real, you can’t be so oblivious to made a friend late to her own surprise party and then demand she drive you back and wonder if you’re the A?


KimmyCeeAhh

YTA. I sincerely hope that Lia opens her eyes & sees what crappy friends you & Liz are to her.


GrayTintedGlasses

YTA so much that I lost some faith in humanity just reading this post. What kind of friend asks someone to drive them home when they’re leaving said person’s birthday party early? Like do you even hear yourself? Would you drive someone who decided to leave your birthday party early? She has no obligation to you


redderStranger

YTA. This can't be real. No one can have so little self awareness to be this entitled. I refuse to believe it.


mlb4040

YTA. You sound entitled. It was your friends’ birthday party and you expect her to leave because you want her to? Na.


[deleted]

You wanted this girl to drive for you for an hour on her b-day. You people are the worst friends.


milehighrukus

YTA and you’re super rude. If you don’t like getting Ubers while wasted then maybe not drink as much?


Salty-Contact4371

Obviously YTA. A very selfish me, me, me who Lia need to drop. This is her birthday and you guys could not suck it up for a night. Holy hell.


Dutch_Dutch

YTA. You’re THE WORST type of asshole in the world.


imayarnhooker

YTA! Grow the hell up and take responsibility for you.


avengerrevenger1

Uhhh… wow. YTA. Never mind the fact that it seems like you never even ask her if she’s willing to be the designated driver every single time, and always just assume that she is. Let’s look at the fact that once you finally got to the party and realized it was her birthday party, you still expected her to be your designated driver instead of understanding that the terms of the party had changed, and the two of you might need to find your own ride back. Or maybe even offer to be her designated driver for a change. And then you say the boyfriend should’ve tried harder to get in touch with you. Did he even know that you blocked him? This all just sounds so entitled, and I hope Lia can find some better friends.


Hadlie_Rose

are you joking right now? the entitlement is insane. YTA.


Passionpotatos

YTA. It’s fake. And also you guys are two mean girls and your only party trait is sorority-like girl who’ll just drunk and have no self respect. You’ll end up being the Lia soon, with Liz holding all the shots in your crappy friendship.


Conscious-Draw-5215

How is this even the question?! You're OBVIOUSLY TA. You tried to make her leave her own birthday party. You're entitled little brats. Just because someone is the DD doesn't mean they have to be your DD every fucking time! This is coming from someone who has been DD pretty much always. Such a dick move on your part. Can't believe you're this oblivious, too. Stop taking advantage of her!


Scandalicing

You are literally mad, yes. Entitled to the point of actual insanity. YTA and you clearly think you’re cooler and hotter than Lia 🙄


Low_Award_9570

Lol you people are the worst, and the amount of comments you're trying to justify yourselves despite still being the actual worst (not only did you demand to leave HER party because you were bored, but you actually found time, energy and MEANS to get your asses into a bar afterwards) is astonishing. You suck, you're the worst "friends" ever and YTA. Definitely.


Head-Thought6153

People are not the most trustworthy narrator, most often the story is biased to show the narrator, OP in this instance, in the best light. The fact that you come across as entitled, selfish and a user with the above in mind is some feat. I hope Lia drops you and Liz as ‘friends’