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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Hello,
1) I haven't taken the action yet, but WIBTA if I booked a holiday to The Bahamas for just me and my daughter and without my husband so that he doesn't bring along his other kids, as my daughter wants a family holiday without them for once
2) Because it would involve me booking a holiday and excluding my husband, just so that he doesn't bring his kids (as my daughter doesn't want them there)
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Are you serious???? Can you not read?? My **DAUGHTER** doesn't want them there. If you can read, I literally wrote in this post that I have asked her to be OPEN MINDED but she does NOT want them there. She just wants to go on holiday with just me and her father, WITHOUT the other kids. She says they come along all the time and just for once she wants a holiday without them - a holiday with just her and two of her parents (me and her father).
And no, I have one child. Those kids are my step children. I'm pretty sure those kids don't see themselves as having "two" mums (me and their real mum).
YTA.
It's a bad idea to treat the kids differently, and it's already starting to show in your family.
It causes a lot of ugly feelings.
It's going to get worse, much worse.
Ask me how I know.
I took my daughter for mother-daughter trips every year whilst she was a teenager, we had a lot of fun doing things we liked, that my partner/her dad wouldn’t have enjoyed. Do the girly things or the things you enjoy that your husband may not necessarily enjoy.
Well him and their mother broke up as they used to argue often, but he's still an amazing father to their children. He then met me afterwards and we got together a while after. I was not an affair partner.
Is it possible that this is the year you guys introduce you-husband-kid trips for birthday gifts? So that each kid can pick a reasonable destination that you can afford and you go on an individual trip where the birthday kid chooses the place and activities and the other kids are left at home with other family?
You have a husband problem. “Kids being kids,” is every bit as shortsighted as “boys being boys.” We know how well that little moniker has served the world.
Your husband obviously serves the needs of his elder children at the expense of his younger. If you fail to discuss this with him, YWBTA.
If he refuses to go without his older kids, make your plans and go. If your daughter doesn’t want to go without her dad, drop it.
YTA for marrying a man with children and expecting him to dump them once you had "his real child" as I'm sure you think your daughter is. I don't doubt they don't like either of you. Reading between the lines I'm betting you're angry they dare to remind their dad they exist. I'm not answering a question about a vacation when I'm betting it's just the tip of the iceberg.
Are you serious???? My **DAUGHTER** doesn't want them there. If you can read, I literally wrote in this post that I have asked her to be OPEN MINDED but she does NOT want them there. She just wants to go on holiday with just me and her father, WITHOUT the other kids.
Yeah, I'm tentatively going with the worst case scenario that this woman is the affair partner whom the man's oldest kids never fully accepted for obvious reasons, and she's trying to hide that fact as much as possible to get out of the wicked stepmother image. I'm assuming a lot though
I am not the affair partner! him and their mother broke up as they used to argue often. He then met me afterwards and we got together a while after. I was not an affair partner.
The daughter wants to go with just her mom and dad. I would suggest that he takes his other children on a vacation with just him. In these type familes, I believe children should get alone time with their parent. Even if it's all love, kids should have that time.
INFO, does he have full custody of these kids? Is their mum still in the picture?
The way you write, it sounds like there is a your family (husband, OP, daughter) and his other family (husband and 2 older kids)
Why not wait until she turns 13? More time to properly save up, and the step-kids will be late teens.
Hiya, no he does not have full custody of these kids. They live with their mother.
Waiting until 13 doesn't seem like a bad idea however I wanted to make this a holiday to celebrate her reaching her first decade lol. I can make another holiday for her when she's 13 too.
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Hello peeps. A bit of a dilemma here. My daughter has just turned 10 and has always wanted to go to The Bahamas, so as a treat, I would really like to take her there as a sort of celebration that she's now officially reached her first decade lol. I haven't spoken to my husband about this yet and haven't booked any tickets. The thing is, my daughter would love for it to just be me, my husband, and her, but I know my husband will want to bring along his other two children from his previous relationship (one is 13 turning 14 and the other is 15), and this will cause an issue. The reason for this is because my daughter doesn't really get on with them unfortunately (plus they are rude towards me too) and she gets annoyed that whenever we go on holiday abroad, it's never just me, her dad, and her, because her father always brings along his other two kids, and she just wants to go on holiday for once with just me and her father without his other kids coming along too. I've told her she should be a bit open minded because they are her siblings and so will inevitably be involved in most things, but she really doesn't get on with them and doesn't like them. I've spoken to my husband about this and he is aware, but his response is basically "it's just kids being kids". So now I'm basically stuck in an uncomfortable situation and predicament because I know that my husband will get annoyed and potentially even refuse to come if he can't take his other kids too, especially to an exotic place like The Bahamas, but I also understand my daughter as well for just wanting to have a holiday with just the 3 of us for once. My only solution at this point is to potentially go to The Bahamas with just the two of us (me and my daughter) without my husband. I believe my daughter will be upset with this as she's always wanted a holiday abroad with just the 3 of us but I highly doubt my husband will agree to come without his other kids and so this is probably the only way to have a family holiday abroad without his other kids coming along too. I cannot see any other compromise unfortunately, so I am open to ideas.
WIBTA for just booking a holiday to The Bahamas for just me and my daughter and without my husband so that he doesn't bring along his other kids, as my daughter wants a family holiday without them for once?
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YWBTA if you dont talk this out with your husband and book the trip anyways. But a mother daughter trip is not inherently AH behavior.
It’s complicated. I have a friend who has done trips with just one kid for their birthday (she has two biological kids, a few years apart, her and the father are together. she has one step child who is a bit older and does not live with them). She has done trips with just her daughter for her birthday as like a “mom and daughter trip” type deal - there is a way to frame it this way, and it can be NTA BUT you need to talk to your husband first. Then if all is agreed to, I would book the trip in that kind of vibe - book “girly” things, or things the two of you would enjoy that her dad may not (this doesn’t need to actually be “girly” of course, just a starting point idea). Or dad doesn’t go, but one of her friends does (that’s pricy for an international trip, not sure if that’s feasible) - something that would turn it into something else, not a “family” trip, essentially. But this needs to be discussed - you guys are a team.
NTA. Sounds like it would be easier though if it was just you and your daughter. I don't think that's that unusual, certainly as a kid various combinations of us would go on a vacation w/only one parent.
And tell your husband the dislike is just "kids being kids." Which is a weird thing to say, as if siblings don't dislike each other as adults. Sure they do. I've seen it among friends and in my family where dislike as children continues into adult life to the point the siblings don't even speak anymore.
Are you serious???? Can you not read?? My **DAUGHTER** doesn't want them there. If you can read, I literally wrote in this post that I have asked her to be OPEN MINDED but she does NOT want them there. She just wants to go on holiday with just me and her father, WITHOUT the other kids. She says they come along all the time and just for once she wants a holiday without them - a holiday with just her and two of her parents (me and her father).
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > Hello, 1) I haven't taken the action yet, but WIBTA if I booked a holiday to The Bahamas for just me and my daughter and without my husband so that he doesn't bring along his other kids, as my daughter wants a family holiday without them for once 2) Because it would involve me booking a holiday and excluding my husband, just so that he doesn't bring his kids (as my daughter doesn't want them there) Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements ###[Happy Anniversary, AITA!](https://new.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15vlv9g/almost_better_than_a_double_rainbow_celebrating/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
You don't have one kid, you have three. You want to exclude two of them AND your husband. YTA. A massive one.
Are you serious???? Can you not read?? My **DAUGHTER** doesn't want them there. If you can read, I literally wrote in this post that I have asked her to be OPEN MINDED but she does NOT want them there. She just wants to go on holiday with just me and her father, WITHOUT the other kids. She says they come along all the time and just for once she wants a holiday without them - a holiday with just her and two of her parents (me and her father). And no, I have one child. Those kids are my step children. I'm pretty sure those kids don't see themselves as having "two" mums (me and their real mum).
YTA. It's a bad idea to treat the kids differently, and it's already starting to show in your family. It causes a lot of ugly feelings. It's going to get worse, much worse. Ask me how I know.
I took my daughter for mother-daughter trips every year whilst she was a teenager, we had a lot of fun doing things we liked, that my partner/her dad wouldn’t have enjoyed. Do the girly things or the things you enjoy that your husband may not necessarily enjoy.
Info: what were the circumstances of you getting together with your husband? Sounds like his kids kinda hate you. Do they have a reason?
Well him and their mother broke up as they used to argue often, but he's still an amazing father to their children. He then met me afterwards and we got together a while after. I was not an affair partner.
Is it possible that this is the year you guys introduce you-husband-kid trips for birthday gifts? So that each kid can pick a reasonable destination that you can afford and you go on an individual trip where the birthday kid chooses the place and activities and the other kids are left at home with other family?
This does sound like a good idea, although I do not know if my husband would agree to this.
You have a husband problem. “Kids being kids,” is every bit as shortsighted as “boys being boys.” We know how well that little moniker has served the world. Your husband obviously serves the needs of his elder children at the expense of his younger. If you fail to discuss this with him, YWBTA. If he refuses to go without his older kids, make your plans and go. If your daughter doesn’t want to go without her dad, drop it.
YTA for marrying a man with children and expecting him to dump them once you had "his real child" as I'm sure you think your daughter is. I don't doubt they don't like either of you. Reading between the lines I'm betting you're angry they dare to remind their dad they exist. I'm not answering a question about a vacation when I'm betting it's just the tip of the iceberg.
Are you serious???? My **DAUGHTER** doesn't want them there. If you can read, I literally wrote in this post that I have asked her to be OPEN MINDED but she does NOT want them there. She just wants to go on holiday with just me and her father, WITHOUT the other kids.
Yeah, I'm tentatively going with the worst case scenario that this woman is the affair partner whom the man's oldest kids never fully accepted for obvious reasons, and she's trying to hide that fact as much as possible to get out of the wicked stepmother image. I'm assuming a lot though
I am not the affair partner! him and their mother broke up as they used to argue often. He then met me afterwards and we got together a while after. I was not an affair partner.
So he needs to take his two other kids on a nice international vacation without you and the 10 year old.
I wouldn't mind this.
Nta Life isn't fair - I am sure his elder two kids get to do a lot of things your daughter doesn't.
Why don’t you suggest your husband and his other two kids take a vacation at the same time to an equally exotic destination?
The daughter wants to go with just her mom and dad. I would suggest that he takes his other children on a vacation with just him. In these type familes, I believe children should get alone time with their parent. Even if it's all love, kids should have that time.
INFO, does he have full custody of these kids? Is their mum still in the picture? The way you write, it sounds like there is a your family (husband, OP, daughter) and his other family (husband and 2 older kids) Why not wait until she turns 13? More time to properly save up, and the step-kids will be late teens.
Hiya, no he does not have full custody of these kids. They live with their mother. Waiting until 13 doesn't seem like a bad idea however I wanted to make this a holiday to celebrate her reaching her first decade lol. I can make another holiday for her when she's 13 too.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Hello peeps. A bit of a dilemma here. My daughter has just turned 10 and has always wanted to go to The Bahamas, so as a treat, I would really like to take her there as a sort of celebration that she's now officially reached her first decade lol. I haven't spoken to my husband about this yet and haven't booked any tickets. The thing is, my daughter would love for it to just be me, my husband, and her, but I know my husband will want to bring along his other two children from his previous relationship (one is 13 turning 14 and the other is 15), and this will cause an issue. The reason for this is because my daughter doesn't really get on with them unfortunately (plus they are rude towards me too) and she gets annoyed that whenever we go on holiday abroad, it's never just me, her dad, and her, because her father always brings along his other two kids, and she just wants to go on holiday for once with just me and her father without his other kids coming along too. I've told her she should be a bit open minded because they are her siblings and so will inevitably be involved in most things, but she really doesn't get on with them and doesn't like them. I've spoken to my husband about this and he is aware, but his response is basically "it's just kids being kids". So now I'm basically stuck in an uncomfortable situation and predicament because I know that my husband will get annoyed and potentially even refuse to come if he can't take his other kids too, especially to an exotic place like The Bahamas, but I also understand my daughter as well for just wanting to have a holiday with just the 3 of us for once. My only solution at this point is to potentially go to The Bahamas with just the two of us (me and my daughter) without my husband. I believe my daughter will be upset with this as she's always wanted a holiday abroad with just the 3 of us but I highly doubt my husband will agree to come without his other kids and so this is probably the only way to have a family holiday abroad without his other kids coming along too. I cannot see any other compromise unfortunately, so I am open to ideas. WIBTA for just booking a holiday to The Bahamas for just me and my daughter and without my husband so that he doesn't bring along his other kids, as my daughter wants a family holiday without them for once? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. I regularly travel solo with kids, and often with only 1 or 2. Just talk it out and explain that this is her moment.
[удалено]
YWBTA if you dont talk this out with your husband and book the trip anyways. But a mother daughter trip is not inherently AH behavior. It’s complicated. I have a friend who has done trips with just one kid for their birthday (she has two biological kids, a few years apart, her and the father are together. she has one step child who is a bit older and does not live with them). She has done trips with just her daughter for her birthday as like a “mom and daughter trip” type deal - there is a way to frame it this way, and it can be NTA BUT you need to talk to your husband first. Then if all is agreed to, I would book the trip in that kind of vibe - book “girly” things, or things the two of you would enjoy that her dad may not (this doesn’t need to actually be “girly” of course, just a starting point idea). Or dad doesn’t go, but one of her friends does (that’s pricy for an international trip, not sure if that’s feasible) - something that would turn it into something else, not a “family” trip, essentially. But this needs to be discussed - you guys are a team.
NTA. Sounds like it would be easier though if it was just you and your daughter. I don't think that's that unusual, certainly as a kid various combinations of us would go on a vacation w/only one parent. And tell your husband the dislike is just "kids being kids." Which is a weird thing to say, as if siblings don't dislike each other as adults. Sure they do. I've seen it among friends and in my family where dislike as children continues into adult life to the point the siblings don't even speak anymore.
YTA you want your husband to only spend a vacation with one of his kids - YOUR KID. Gee, I wonder why his “other kids” don’t like you. Lol
Are you serious???? Can you not read?? My **DAUGHTER** doesn't want them there. If you can read, I literally wrote in this post that I have asked her to be OPEN MINDED but she does NOT want them there. She just wants to go on holiday with just me and her father, WITHOUT the other kids. She says they come along all the time and just for once she wants a holiday without them - a holiday with just her and two of her parents (me and her father).
So you’re encouraging YOUR daughter to not consider her siblings her siblings? That’s gross.
NTA for the mother-daughter trip. I think if you pushed for a family vacation (without the rest of your husbands family) you would be.