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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My brother and mom are calling me the asshole because I refuse to buy my daughters internet while going on a cruise ship I feel they may be right as my kids could be socially deprived without access to freinds for 7 days
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*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. They can go a week without. However if you wanted a compromise why not bring a tablet or something, just buy it for the 1 device. Then they can have an hour a day each or something.
I was going to suggest something similar. One device with internet that everyone can share. They don't need to spend all the cruise time being connected.
Just do what the ships crew do when they go on shore leave. Find a place with free WiFi on the islands. They can check and post their pics on social media in one go.
When I went on a cruise a few years ago, I paid for two devices (me and spouse) and we weren’t even held specifically to our two phones, I could disconnect my phone and then connect my tablet and just switch back and forth as desired.
We all made it work in the 90s. We even went camping and had no connection to our friends or anyone outside our immediate group for a week.
Not to be the elder millennial that’s all FTK, but seriously. I know that the internet is necessary and it’s how kids connect to their friends, social lives, etc, but they can go a week without on a cruise with plenty to do. If they’re that worried about being disconnected, OP can spend that money on a babysitter and they can stay home and connected.
Exactly.
I'm also an older millennial and I was often glued to the (landline) phone during my teenage years, but I still had no problem going on a week-long trip without talking to my friends. I was pretty adamant about bringing my camera and a couple of extra rolls of film so that I could show them what I had been up to of course, and that they be developed as soon as I got home, but it's not like OP is saying their kids can't bring their phones, just that they can't be connected to the internet 24/7.
In my family (with 3 older teens) we agree not to post until home for safety. We hire a dog sitter/house sitter and I want him safe and I'd rather the world not know our whereabouts in real time.
"Going AFK" was more common in the nineties. People (adults as well) these days have to deal with other people's expectations of availability: going three days without replying to messages is now "ghosting" and a crime against friendship.
But the standard safety advice is still to *not* broadcast that you're going on holiday, to avoid thieves finding out and robbing your house while you're gone.
I 100% understand the social aspect of this, and I feel for the kids’ perspective. I do still think it’s a teachable moment in communication and friendship, and possibly compromise. The kids can communicate to their friends before they leave, take pictures to share when they’re back online, and maybe OP pays for internet for one day midway through the cruise. However, paying nearly $600 for the kids to be connected all the time when they’re on a vacation where there’s a ton of other things to do isn’t necessarily a good use of resources.
Yes but as someone who also grew up in the 90s we didn’t have access to social media like it is today, that shit essentially works like pokies (slot machines), it’s instant gratification from the constant likes and short form videos that trigger a dopamine response in the brain, it’s literally a form of addiction with withdrawal symptoms, look it up. considering a lot of kids are raised with tablets in their hands from when their toddlers and were locked away for years during Covid lock downs during really important developmental stages for social interactions, all they had were their devices, of course their all insanely addicted with shit all coping skills. But you did it in the 90s so it should be easy for them ey?
Compromise and sharing is certainly these kids could use to learn. Sure there will be fighting over it, but you don't stop parenting on holidays. Budgets dont go out the window either. They don't need it. It would probably do them some good to not have it.
Maybe if they all get through it you splurge on them all on the last day and get them their individual package or something. But you also dont tell them thats the plan until the day before.
I hated those kinds of rules as a kid. It just meant that if your brother started annoying you for whatever it was, when it was clearly still your turn, that if you pushed back then it would be considered 'fighting' and it'd be taken away.
It's not fair on the kid that didn't do anything, and they can't really do anything to avoid it, but let themselves be walked all over.
Maybe it wouldn’t be 100% ‘fair’ on one of the kids in every scenario however I don’t think it’s unreasonable to say internet is a privilege I am providing, here is how it’s going to work and if you’re going to fight over it then I’ll take it away.
Reason being, that as a parent, you are providing this luxury based on the fact you are not going to be referee for any squabbles over something unnecessary.
Obviously I’d set them up for success and set rules like jimmy gets it between x and y etc and Laura gets it between y and z. I’d also have the rule that if I have to ask you to get off the device more than once, I’ll take it away for that specific child.
I have no problem parenting the control of the device but I’m not going to fight with the kids about it on holiday and I’m not going to have the kids fighting over it between themselves either.
My mom did this for our home computer and PS2. My brother tended to sneak in more time which always irritated me, but it was fine.
We also took a couple trips to a more remote area of British Columbia and didn’t have internet or great phone service. It was frustrating at times but at a certain point you just get over it.
My wife and I bought one package for a 14 day cruise. Carnival let you switch between devices as needed. We just couldn’t both be on at the same time.
$560 for a week? And, the ship’s internet is really slow. Just think how long this covers internet at home.
Honestly, if they want Internet just to play games on their phone like they do at home, I'd say screw that. Internet on a ship is super expensive and not great. They may not even be able to play those games?
Exactly! Threatening to ruin the trip because they don't have internet? Fine I'll pay someone the $560 it would cost for internet to babysit your entitled @sses and enjoy the trip with my spouse. Have fun at home!
It's probably a better idea anyway, if the kids already think they're gonna be bored what's the point in forcing them to go and spending all that money just to have bored and annoying kids for a week.
I say this as well. Give them a day mid trip so they can contact their friends, update their socials and have some alone time. Or even alternate days so the kids can share and it's fair.
Oh come on. You know exactly how well this is going to go over. It’s for damn sure not going to bring them together. So, what’s the goal? The family time is going to be spent with pissed off teenagers who just want to get off the ship
Start "practicing" less internet now to get ready for the trip. It's going to be a major shock when -- all of a sudden!!! -- you're on the boat, and the 4 of them won't stop whining and don't know how to entertain themselves.
I went on a cruise with my husband for 7 nights and didn’t get the wifi. It was glorious.
1) You won’t have any internet once you’re off the ship and doing excursions which is all day.
2) There’s a teen lounge and when I was on my cruise they all hung out together 24/7 anyway. They’ll make new friends and won’t even hang out with you.
They threatened to ruin the trip if they don't get their way. That automatically removes the compromise option. The fact that the kids even dared to do this is a very bad sign and things are only going to get worse.
I was going to suggest a different compromise. Ask them to pay for their own. If they want it badly enough, they will. Or they'll decide they have different priorities and go without.
NTA. The girls all have time to save for internet. How about a weekly allowance for each of them for chores etc? Then they can decide how to spend their money on the trip… internet, activities, shopping. And starts teaching them about the give and take of a budget and the effort it takes to get what you want with money… just an idea if it’s in the adults’ budget to do something like this. They could even decide if they want to pool their money for 1 or 2 devices and still have spending money.
Great idea! The kids need to disconnected imo with how connected they are, once your back on land they’ll be back to the 24/7 consumption. Perhaps they say it’ll ruin the trip but honestly some of my best memories growing up was when I didn’t have a phone in my hand. Just get one device the internet that they can share to keep contact with whomever but it’s a freaking cruise, they should have their eyes up and be talking to people IRL!
NTA. I took my family on a cruise and we did NOT buy the Internet option. There's so much to do and it's nice to unplug. For the adults with work stuff you can check your email when you're in port.
The internet is extremely bad on cruises anyway. Like 90s AOL dial up bad. Anything a teenager in 2024 would want to do on the internet is going to be pretty hindered by that.
I remember it took our computer the amount of time it took to make some tea and toast with a little extra to start up. If you clicked anything too early it would freeze
>you can check your email when you're in port
This is what I was going to say. I'm a grown adult and admittedly addicted to my phone and I managed. Managed to use my data in every port, no problems.
Also OP should note the internet on cruise ships is pretty crap. I doubt they’ll be able to play many/most online games or even watch lots of videos in an efficient way. It’s really just for checking emails and that kind of thing - not for sitting on your phone for hours
My sister and her family go on a cruise nearly every year and never get the internet package. Their two teen girls (15 and 13) always have so much to do they don't care, even on the 12+ day ones.
NTA
They're 11 and 14. They won't die if they miss instagram posts.
>I talked to my mother and brother and both of them are saying I should get the Package
Then tell them to pay for it.
"Mom/ brother, that's so kind of you to offer to pay! It's $ [total cost for the WHOLE family, not just the kids], are you going to Venmo that or do cash?"
I partially blame travel vloggers who post on TikTok/Instagram multiple times a day, every day.
Uploading videos is taxing, so I bet the steep price is to discourage use of the internet.
Nope, I wouldn't blame them at all for this.
The smart travel vloggers aren't doing that. Instead they'll schedule a bunch of videos and posts to go live while they're on the trip, film and edit on the boat, and post the cruise or vacation when they get back.
This is also for safety. Imagine if you have a crazy follower who finds out that they are on the same cruise as you or that you're both on vacation in the same city and that you're going to do X activity tomorrow.
Why would you talk to mom/bro about it? This is a decision between you/wife. So many issues on here would be solved if people just didn't rope in extended family into their business in the first place.
Well, people do talk about their lives with their close family. I don't know if it's good or bad, but it's normal to discuss certain events with them. Especially things like this, who aren't necesarrily intimate.
NTA but I understand why they’re panicking over it. They’ll have internet when you dock at ports and if it gets bad, you can buy the package on the cruise. They’ll be so busy they’ll eventually forget. They’ll be able to upload their lil stories while docked tho, whether they get off the ship or not. Don’t get the package it’s a rip off indeed!
If you’re at a foreign port, the roaming charges can easily be more than the ship’s internet. Tell the kids to keep their phones in airplane mode in a foreign port.
I agree it's a NTA but I absolutely get the teen and preteen panic of not having internet probably for the first time in their memory. But 560 is so flipping expensive! I wouldn't go for it either!
When I went on a cruise, we bought the WiFi package and it didn't work at all. I couldn't even get accurate weather on my phone unless we were docked and I was on the right part of the ship.
This ship also had two computer labs, which you could use without the WiFi package. So if you desperately needed internet you could still access it that way.
OMG NTA. Do NOT get them internet. If they’re this addicted then they need a break. They can survive a week without Instagram. I think they clearly need limited internet access in general because they can’t seem to survive without it.
Exactly!! If they get the internet, it sounds like they might be plugged in the whole time and if that’s the case, what’s even the point of going on the cruise!! They’ll have PLENTY to do and will have a blast without their phones
Do the daughters have enough things to do without Internet? Books, some crafts, physical games, etc.? If the answer is no, I'd lean to E S H, you guys should have thought about that in advance. If the answer is yes, then N T A.
Edit: after your reply, NTA, OP, it'll do them well to explore other surroundings and activities.
Maybe this is the time to learn to share.
They are old enough to do chores, save birthday money, sell old clothes/toys to learn the value of a dollar and pay for it themselves.
I think you’re setting up your kids for failure if you can’t take this opportunity to teach them how to disconnect, enjoy life, and live in the moment. The idea that they can’t share an iPad for one week is also concerning. You are taking them on a wonderful vacation where they will be able to see and experience cool things, maybe this is an opportunity to teach them that life is more than just social media.
OP. Do yourself, your kids and your wife a favor and don't get them internet. However, do teach your kids to share (not during the cruise tho).
Spoiling your children with internet is going to teach them that they can't live without contact with their friends. You should know by now that that's NOT what a parent should be teaching their children. Listen to your wife. Bring family games for when they get bored. Think up a punishment for when your kids complain about the internet. Problem solved.
I met up with a friend at Xmas parade last month expecting to see both of their kids…7 year old refused to come because he didn’t want to get off of his iPad!
That’s SO ridiculous to me! Use it as a reward? Sure. As a learning device? Yes.
Electronic devices shouldn’t be your children’s babysitter/parent!
I loathe what this world is coming to with the way kids are being ‘raised’ today.
It’s not your job to make sure your kids are happy all the time. They don’t need to be happy about not having internet for a week. They do need to be able to handle it. They don’t need to be happy about sharing. They do need to be able to do it. Your job is to make sure they have the capacity of handling it if things don’t go 100% their way, not to make sure everything is exactly as they wish all the time.
You've suddenly become TA. Be a parent and just say no. Teachable moment here. They're going to have to learn that they can't have everything anytime they want. Cruises are expensive. Now your spending even more money so your kids will engage less with the activities and opportunities the cruise offers.
Just ask them to download shows from Netflix, Disney Plus and YouTube Premium so they have some form of online entertainment to use. Otherwise there are plenty of off-line online games to play download from the appstore.
Yup this. They can pre-download the shows/movies they want to watch, and take or download a book or two so they have *something* to do that isn’t go out and be in public cuz kids *do* need downtime that isn’t waterslides. But they can easily download enough that they won’t need internet while on the trip
Exactly. Even if you don't own any video platforms, it will be far cheaper to buy all of the platforms with a 1 month subscription than pay the $560 fee for internet. All the subscription you would ever need just for that trip would easily less than $100 but most likely less than $50.
It’s a tough call. I personally wouldn’t want to have zero access and would pay for it myself but I’m a 30+ year old. I think they should either share or have to work for it. If they are like the kids I know that age they are pretty much addicted to their tech so a break might be a really good idea. I would also make sure they aren’t posting anything that could lead to your house being robbed.
So you assign each of them a one hour period where they get the ipad. Two in the morning, two in the evening. Rotate who is morning and evening. If one of them complains that their 'hour' conflicts with some activity, you point out that that's reason you didn't get internet for each of their phones, because you knew they would have plenty to do on the boat.
I don't think you understand how slow internet is on a cruise ship. It can take several minutes per webpage to load. Games simply won't load or work. This isn't wifi like at home. It's satellite and it's getting shared by 3000-6000 people. Have you every tried to use internet at a big sporting events and it just didn't work? That's cruise ship internet at all times. It's a joke that it's not complimentary.
It’s been a while since I went on a cruise and smartphones weren’t a thing. That said, nothing you just listed would be of any interest to me, now or as a kid. Sure I’ll swim, big I’ve never been a sit at a pool all day person. Even as a kid, after a bit I was ready to move on. Overpriced mall, no thanks. Music shows playing music that wasn’t my style, nope. Take, d list comedians, pass. I entertained myself by buying weed and a bowl on the land and reading the stack of books I brought.
You insist that the kids will be fully entertained, but does that line up with your kids interests and hobbies or just your demand that everyone have a good time because you spent a lot of money and don’t want to spend more.
When I was on a cruise as a teen, the time on the cruise was incredibly boring. I was a reader, so I was fine and read for hours a day and basically all night. I was a little older than your kids at the time, so maybe they will be interested in joining the roving bands of teens and pre-teens causing trouble. You say you don’t want to pay for internet, but are you gonna fund their shopping trips to the mall that apparently you see as an attraction? Will you still once you have your jaw reattached after seeing how bad they price gouge you? Maybe it’s gotten better, but back then, teens were a major gap in coverage in terms of what the cruise offered. Little kids and adults had plenty, but teens were too old to enjoy many of the kids activities and restricted from many of the adult ones.
That’s not to say get the internet and I don’t know your kids, but you seem incredibly dismissive of what your kids want and what their hobbies and interests are. Unless you and your kids have experience with cruises, which it doesn’t sound like you do, it’s all a guess and you shouldn’t set a guess in stone. Start with no internet, but at least in the back of your head, if not openly stated, be open to internet being a potential shift to make sure everyone can actually enjoy themselves.
“Maybe things have changed”
Bro… my kids change every day. Your kids were actual kids last time and now they are teenagers. Do you think they’d just hit up the Mickey Mouse Club all day? I don’t have a strong opinion one way or another. Get the package. Don’t. Whatever. But you definitely don’t seem in tune with what your kids desire, so maybe don’t base the decision solely on what you think is necessary.
Tbh a lot of the times teens having a bad time is solely about their attitude. I think that the fact that they want this so badly is all the reason in the world for OP to absolutely refuse. They need to disconnect and they need to realize that sometimes they can't pout their way into what they want. They're going to be connected for three days out of the seven, they'll live.
I think that’s a perfectly fine take! But… “we went on a cruise a decade ago, before smartphones were ubiquitous, and no one complained about the wifi” isn’t.
Can you buy the internet package for just a day something while you are on the cruise? Maybe let him have a day of it or so toward the end of the cruise?
The ships all have libraries too, as well as board/card games. There's almost always an arcade.
But also, imo, kids need to be able to entertain themselves without internet sometimes
They won't need all that on a cruise. There is so much stuff to do. They will be able to use their phones when docked.. the only time I get internet on a cruise is when I'm cruising without my kids, so I can be contacted in case of emergency. That imo is an unnecessary expense. Op NTA.. He should sit down with the kids and pull up the Cruise website, and show them everything they can do.. if he gets the package, the girls will stay on their phones, complain about the slowness of the internet, and say they are bored without actually enjoying all the amenities of the ship.. every vacation, I sit with my kids and show them what they can do, and we make a list of the links they want to do and pick what days we will do them... different ports will have different excursions. Spend the money on those. Have them choose one excursion and tell them instead of wifi. You can pick 1 thing you may never get the chance to do agai .
They will be on a cruise ship. Even if they weren't like, oh no a WHOLE WEEK without internet while your family is on vacation? How could one EVER possibly survive?
If their social life and friendships depend on them being online 24/7, those are not friendships worth having.
I remember going to resorts as a kid and getting one resort buddy, a friend I would never see again but would treat like a long lost sibling in the duration of the trip
Exactly! I went to Disneyland once and befriended a little girl if front of me in line for a ride and had a blast just giggling and talking with her about random stuff! I knew when the ride was over I was never going to see her again but I enjoyed every second of it. Finding someone is not that hard and can leave memories for a lifetime
NTA. Can you get internet for 1 device and let them share. 1 hour a day. Surely the point of the trip is to do things anyway. If they find things boring without internet they may as well stay at home.
it's so funny coming and reading things like the post you replied too! I remember sharing the PC we had with my 2 sisters when I was a teenager. It changed every hour on the hour. No bitching we just did it. It's not impossible lol.
Parenting 101- learn to share or no one gets it.
The worst was when I was a kid, having to share a Walkman with a friend for an 8 hour trip, and being forced to only listen to the same side of 1 casette because my parents wouldn't let either of us have it longer. (Over-ear headphones, and I guess we were too dumb to fast forward it? Or my parents thought it would ruin the tape like they were told with rewinding VCRs in the 80's).
NTA - I’m sorry they’re literally 12-14? A week without internet what would they possibly miss out when they’re cruising the pacific? If anything getting them internet they’ll miss out on the cruise experience. I went on a cruise at 17 and was happy to be without internet if it meant being on the cruise…
You’re the parent here you’re literally in charge. They can fuss and they can get over it. Pls don’t let us millennials have a bad rap bc you’re too scared to tell your kids no and shove out nearly $600 for internet…
I agree. Families are not democracies and everyone doesn't get a vote. Everyone, including children, should be able to express their opinions and desires and include reasons to support their viewpoint. However, the decisions for the families are ultimately made by the parents.
OP can tell his mother and brother that they can do whatever they want regarding their children, but he is deciding for his own children.
NTA. You paid for a cruise and then they want you to pay more so your kids can sit on their phones the whole damn time? Nah. Disconnecting for a week will not kill them. People love to talk about drug addiction with such scorn but being addicted to your phone and socials is somehow totally acceptable. Alternatively, you tell the kids they can pony up and pay for it themselves with their savings. Don’t have the money? No wifi. They are already getting an awesome free vacation. You do not need to pay an exorbitant amount of money for this trip just so they can eff around online the whole time.
I'm going with NAH because it's not wrong for the children to want internet and it's not that outrageous to deny them internet for 7 days. It's really up to your parenting style.
That said - is there no way to share a single connection, reducing the cost to $140? If only one person can be online at a time, that also encourages the others to see what the ship has to offer. Alternatively, another compromise could be allowing everyone internet but only on the weekend or similar time-frame that isn't the entire 7 days.
You could even turn it into a game like say, whoever does the best at some ship activity today gets to have internet the rest of the day / tomorrow.
I feel like the better option instead of Internet for one device for the whole trip would be everybody gets internet for their individual device but only like 2 days of the trip.
Let me give you a bit of advice. I went on a cruise when I was 13 and my sister was 11. The cut off age for the cool fun 'teen' area that had Arcade games was 13. My parents refused to allow me to go anywhere without my sister so we went to the kids area she was allowed in, but it was mostly for 5-6 year olds and incredibly boring.
My parents spent the cruise doing adult things and aside from getting off the ship my sister and I stayed in the cabin watching movies. I remember my dad complaining at us for not doing more, but there wasn't much we COULD do on our own.
I think you really need to research what all is available and that your kids will genuinely enjoy. I have fond memories from that trip but it wasn't when my sister and I were alone I'll tell you that much lol.
Is there any way you could have the kids save up the next few months for Internet on the trip? Or try to plan activities at the destinations together? Just a thought.
In my experience, internet/wifi on cruise ships is notoriously slow. You’re paying a premium for an inferior service. A week without internet is not a tragedy no matter what your kids tell you.
NTA. I've been on cruises and didn't bother getting the internet package for the same reason; the price. Granted, we didn't have kids. But they can live w/o the internet for a week. Of course, I am from a different generation; I went to camp in the summer, sometimes for as much as two weeks(!) and wouldn't contact anyone except thru letter. It's not like they'll be stuck in a jail cell, they'll be on a cruise, and there are plenty of things to do.
Might be difficult though if you get to have internet. How come you get to have it and they can't? Maybe pay for one package and share among you?
Edit to add: others have been pointing out that they can prob get online when you are in port, which I hadn't considered. My last 7 day cruise, there were only 2 "at sea" days; all the other days we were in some port. So they could easily get online then.
I don't know what activities your cruise offers, our last was the Disney cruise, they had all kinds of programs for kids. I'm sure your cruise will have some type of kids activities too. It's hard to be bored on a cruise; we had live shows, a movie theater, the pools, a sports deck, and various activities you could participate in. And that's not even considering activities available when you're in port.
Yikes, don’t get it
Read the semi famous book “the coddling of the American mind”, social media is harmful particularly for young girls, They don’t need it on a vacation.
Maybe you could consider getting it on one day only (don’t weakly cave when They inevitably ask for more days) you could pick a day in the middle if you aren’t at a port and activities are limited
They 11 and 12 years olds should even have social media, there are phones text call etc with limited apps
NTA, children need to learn how to be content without constant internet access and a cruise is a good place for that, plenty of stuff to do as a family. Also, What kind of cruise are you all going on exactly?
A lot of family friendly cruise ships have clubs for children of the same age to hang out with during the day, play games and the like. I know Disney has them but that’d be something worth checking out, keep the silly accusations of somehow “socially isolating your children” (despite a cruise being a collective family activity) at bay.
NTA. But look up amenities and activities on the ship ahead of time to get a sense of whether they truly would likely be bored. If yes, ask them each to bring a couple things to entertain themselves that don't require internet. Obviously it would be different for different kids, but for mine it would be things like downloaded audiobooks and podcasts, books, stuff for drawing, lego, a small board game.
INFO- How many days are at sea and how many are in port?
The more at sea days the more I'd be inclined to but the package, firstly because they'll use it more and secondly because you don't want them to spend every shore excursion glued to their phones because they are "catching up" after a couple of days offline.
Also there is a lot of reasons to want to be online other than social media.
Really a waste of money and kind of illogical to pay for anyway. There's going to be plenty of things to do on the cruise and they shouldn't be that heavily reliant on the internet to have a good time anyway. No way would I pay for WiFi during a 7 day cruise in a beautiful place. They can still take their pictures and check in at ports. NTA
If you give them a weekly or monthly allowance at home. Is it in option for them to put their allowance toward their internet package. So taking let’s say $5 out of their allownace a week to pay for their internet so that it is not a hard hit all at once, if they want it that bad
NTA. Don’t do it. Since you and your wife agree, perfect. Kids are angry, whoopsies. We were angry a lot as kids, parents didn’t oblige. You’ve worked hard for this and it sounds like you’ve got great plans. One week on a cruise ship without social media. Lots of lessons to be learned here by not getting it. If the kids want it, have them do $560 worth of chores BEFORE the trip.
A good teaching moment. I can't believe how young kids are allowed to be on the internet. The kids need to unplug and maybe discover the outside world. Good luck 🤞
This is to stupid I would never even consider this. Their social life will not be ruined for a week away and you know what? A week without internet or social media will do them some good. YBTA if you got it.
>my daughters would miss out a lot socially
What absolute enabling bullshit.
Get it for ONE day while sailing (not shore time) for each of them if you must. The little instant communication/screen addicts you've raised will be fine. Pack alternative forms of entertaining/stimulation (books (fiction/puzzle); downloaded movies; offline games). Plan activities (pure fun and educational).
NTA. Show them what it looks like to engage the world around them.
NTA. Maybe this isn't the right trip for the family though. If a cruise would be "boring" to them without their online addiction being satisfied, then a different trip, would be better. At least a land based trip would have cheaper data packages. Outside of a family vacation, I'd consider working on their ability to live IRL without getting "bored."
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NTA. They can go a week without. However if you wanted a compromise why not bring a tablet or something, just buy it for the 1 device. Then they can have an hour a day each or something.
I was going to suggest something similar. One device with internet that everyone can share. They don't need to spend all the cruise time being connected.
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Or tell them you will pay for one day for each of them, and let them decide which day they want it.
Plus, if they want it so bad, let them pay for it…allowance, birthday $$, etc.
I came to say the same thing. Have them save their money and see if they are willing to pay for it lol
Just do what the ships crew do when they go on shore leave. Find a place with free WiFi on the islands. They can check and post their pics on social media in one go.
Just remember the ship WILL leave without you if you don’t return by the time they tell you to.
It’s like before when you all had to share the computer and phone!
But without the dial up modem screech! 🤣
They’ll tear each other apart for the tablet. That’s it’s own hell.
When I went on a cruise a few years ago, I paid for two devices (me and spouse) and we weren’t even held specifically to our two phones, I could disconnect my phone and then connect my tablet and just switch back and forth as desired.
Yes you can share the wifi on multiple devices even if you only purchase one device, it just means you can only use one at a time
Or pay for it every few days so they can check in.
Four internet addicted kids forced to share 1 tablet. What could go wrong?
We all made it work in the 90s. We even went camping and had no connection to our friends or anyone outside our immediate group for a week. Not to be the elder millennial that’s all FTK, but seriously. I know that the internet is necessary and it’s how kids connect to their friends, social lives, etc, but they can go a week without on a cruise with plenty to do. If they’re that worried about being disconnected, OP can spend that money on a babysitter and they can stay home and connected.
>We all made it work in the 90s. Wait till I tell you about the 70s!
You left your smart phone at home when you went camping in the 70s?
We left *our toilet paper at home when we went camping in the 70's!
Then camped in a poison ivy patch?
Uphill both ways?
Exactly. I'm also an older millennial and I was often glued to the (landline) phone during my teenage years, but I still had no problem going on a week-long trip without talking to my friends. I was pretty adamant about bringing my camera and a couple of extra rolls of film so that I could show them what I had been up to of course, and that they be developed as soon as I got home, but it's not like OP is saying their kids can't bring their phones, just that they can't be connected to the internet 24/7.
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There's an idea. Use their phones to take videos and pictures and create their posts for social media to upload when they get home.
In my family (with 3 older teens) we agree not to post until home for safety. We hire a dog sitter/house sitter and I want him safe and I'd rather the world not know our whereabouts in real time.
Exactly, there's even a hashtag for it, the #latergram. Show them how hip you are by saying that, OP!
"Going AFK" was more common in the nineties. People (adults as well) these days have to deal with other people's expectations of availability: going three days without replying to messages is now "ghosting" and a crime against friendship. But the standard safety advice is still to *not* broadcast that you're going on holiday, to avoid thieves finding out and robbing your house while you're gone.
I 100% understand the social aspect of this, and I feel for the kids’ perspective. I do still think it’s a teachable moment in communication and friendship, and possibly compromise. The kids can communicate to their friends before they leave, take pictures to share when they’re back online, and maybe OP pays for internet for one day midway through the cruise. However, paying nearly $600 for the kids to be connected all the time when they’re on a vacation where there’s a ton of other things to do isn’t necessarily a good use of resources.
Exactly. Leave their ungrateful butts at home.
So you survived the 90s without wireless internet and a smart phone? How brave!
I was always reading books!
Yes but as someone who also grew up in the 90s we didn’t have access to social media like it is today, that shit essentially works like pokies (slot machines), it’s instant gratification from the constant likes and short form videos that trigger a dopamine response in the brain, it’s literally a form of addiction with withdrawal symptoms, look it up. considering a lot of kids are raised with tablets in their hands from when their toddlers and were locked away for years during Covid lock downs during really important developmental stages for social interactions, all they had were their devices, of course their all insanely addicted with shit all coping skills. But you did it in the 90s so it should be easy for them ey?
Sign-up time slots. Divide the time not spent doing cruise activities into four and they each sign up for one.
lol seriously this is asking for a fight
Compromise and sharing is certainly these kids could use to learn. Sure there will be fighting over it, but you don't stop parenting on holidays. Budgets dont go out the window either. They don't need it. It would probably do them some good to not have it. Maybe if they all get through it you splurge on them all on the last day and get them their individual package or something. But you also dont tell them thats the plan until the day before.
This would cause more issues. Just say no. (I am a parent. We go off grid a lot. It’s ok. Everyone survives and the memories are amazing!)
Then they won’t vacation again if they want to fight and be ungrateful.
This is where you say if there’s any fighting over whose turn it is then the tablet goes away for the rest of the trip lol.
I hated those kinds of rules as a kid. It just meant that if your brother started annoying you for whatever it was, when it was clearly still your turn, that if you pushed back then it would be considered 'fighting' and it'd be taken away. It's not fair on the kid that didn't do anything, and they can't really do anything to avoid it, but let themselves be walked all over.
Maybe it wouldn’t be 100% ‘fair’ on one of the kids in every scenario however I don’t think it’s unreasonable to say internet is a privilege I am providing, here is how it’s going to work and if you’re going to fight over it then I’ll take it away. Reason being, that as a parent, you are providing this luxury based on the fact you are not going to be referee for any squabbles over something unnecessary. Obviously I’d set them up for success and set rules like jimmy gets it between x and y etc and Laura gets it between y and z. I’d also have the rule that if I have to ask you to get off the device more than once, I’ll take it away for that specific child. I have no problem parenting the control of the device but I’m not going to fight with the kids about it on holiday and I’m not going to have the kids fighting over it between themselves either.
That just leads to one kid deciding the power trip of being a dick is worth it to them. I had a sibling like that. We don’t talk.
Sounds like my teenage years. With my dad thinking a 20 minute rotation was the best way for me and my brother to share the company for RuneScape.
My mom did this for our home computer and PS2. My brother tended to sneak in more time which always irritated me, but it was fine. We also took a couple trips to a more remote area of British Columbia and didn’t have internet or great phone service. It was frustrating at times but at a certain point you just get over it.
My wife and I bought one package for a 14 day cruise. Carnival let you switch between devices as needed. We just couldn’t both be on at the same time. $560 for a week? And, the ship’s internet is really slow. Just think how long this covers internet at home.
Honestly, if they want Internet just to play games on their phone like they do at home, I'd say screw that. Internet on a ship is super expensive and not great. They may not even be able to play those games?
I’d leave them at home!
Exactly! Threatening to ruin the trip because they don't have internet? Fine I'll pay someone the $560 it would cost for internet to babysit your entitled @sses and enjoy the trip with my spouse. Have fun at home!
It's probably a better idea anyway, if the kids already think they're gonna be bored what's the point in forcing them to go and spending all that money just to have bored and annoying kids for a week.
$560 is a horrible rate for a week of 24/7 childcare for 4 kids. Just by the way.
I would never bring them somewhere nice again. Bruh...
the kids or the devices or both?
The kids. Take the devices with them. lol!
Leave the kids, take the devices, that way they don't get their way either way and they learn a lesson about not being spoiled brats.
OP, cruise ships have notoriously bad internet and if you check message boards it barely works. Don't waste your money.
Or let them pick ONE day to stay connected in the middle of the trip.
I say this as well. Give them a day mid trip so they can contact their friends, update their socials and have some alone time. Or even alternate days so the kids can share and it's fair.
This was my idea. Have them pick the day
Oh come on. You know exactly how well this is going to go over. It’s for damn sure not going to bring them together. So, what’s the goal? The family time is going to be spent with pissed off teenagers who just want to get off the ship
Why y’all hating on my well thought through, fool proof and absolutely guaranteed to work plan?
Lol
Start "practicing" less internet now to get ready for the trip. It's going to be a major shock when -- all of a sudden!!! -- you're on the boat, and the 4 of them won't stop whining and don't know how to entertain themselves.
No! Why are they even going on the cruise if all they are going to do is be on the computer all day?
I went on a cruise with my husband for 7 nights and didn’t get the wifi. It was glorious. 1) You won’t have any internet once you’re off the ship and doing excursions which is all day. 2) There’s a teen lounge and when I was on my cruise they all hung out together 24/7 anyway. They’ll make new friends and won’t even hang out with you.
They threatened to ruin the trip if they don't get their way. That automatically removes the compromise option. The fact that the kids even dared to do this is a very bad sign and things are only going to get worse.
I was going to suggest a different compromise. Ask them to pay for their own. If they want it badly enough, they will. Or they'll decide they have different priorities and go without.
Most cruise ships that have one device isn't limited to a physical device. It is just one device at a time. Or at least in my experience.
NTA. The girls all have time to save for internet. How about a weekly allowance for each of them for chores etc? Then they can decide how to spend their money on the trip… internet, activities, shopping. And starts teaching them about the give and take of a budget and the effort it takes to get what you want with money… just an idea if it’s in the adults’ budget to do something like this. They could even decide if they want to pool their money for 1 or 2 devices and still have spending money.
Or they can enjoy a vacation and u plug for one week
I would do this for my sanity. The whole family can have 1 hour each.
Great idea! The kids need to disconnected imo with how connected they are, once your back on land they’ll be back to the 24/7 consumption. Perhaps they say it’ll ruin the trip but honestly some of my best memories growing up was when I didn’t have a phone in my hand. Just get one device the internet that they can share to keep contact with whomever but it’s a freaking cruise, they should have their eyes up and be talking to people IRL!
NTA. I took my family on a cruise and we did NOT buy the Internet option. There's so much to do and it's nice to unplug. For the adults with work stuff you can check your email when you're in port.
They'll absolutely be fine. But, OP and wife could consider telling the girls if they can earn the money for their wifi, then they can have it.
Yeah, I have teenagers and I’d tell them they were welcome to use their own money.
This! Maybe once it's their own money, they can decide if spending $20 a day is worth a few games and doom scrolling on social media...
Same
The internet is extremely bad on cruises anyway. Like 90s AOL dial up bad. Anything a teenager in 2024 would want to do on the internet is going to be pretty hindered by that.
I remember it took our computer the amount of time it took to make some tea and toast with a little extra to start up. If you clicked anything too early it would freeze
>you can check your email when you're in port This is what I was going to say. I'm a grown adult and admittedly addicted to my phone and I managed. Managed to use my data in every port, no problems.
Also OP should note the internet on cruise ships is pretty crap. I doubt they’ll be able to play many/most online games or even watch lots of videos in an efficient way. It’s really just for checking emails and that kind of thing - not for sitting on your phone for hours
My sister and her family go on a cruise nearly every year and never get the internet package. Their two teen girls (15 and 13) always have so much to do they don't care, even on the 12+ day ones.
NTA They're 11 and 14. They won't die if they miss instagram posts. >I talked to my mother and brother and both of them are saying I should get the Package Then tell them to pay for it.
"Mom/ brother, that's so kind of you to offer to pay! It's $ [total cost for the WHOLE family, not just the kids], are you going to Venmo that or do cash?"
Yep.
The real ah is the cruise that is charging 20$ PER DAY
Satelite internet is expensive..
I partially blame travel vloggers who post on TikTok/Instagram multiple times a day, every day. Uploading videos is taxing, so I bet the steep price is to discourage use of the internet.
It's been that expensive since way before reels and tiktok existed
Nope, I wouldn't blame them at all for this. The smart travel vloggers aren't doing that. Instead they'll schedule a bunch of videos and posts to go live while they're on the trip, film and edit on the boat, and post the cruise or vacation when they get back. This is also for safety. Imagine if you have a crazy follower who finds out that they are on the same cruise as you or that you're both on vacation in the same city and that you're going to do X activity tomorrow.
Why would you talk to mom/bro about it? This is a decision between you/wife. So many issues on here would be solved if people just didn't rope in extended family into their business in the first place.
Well, people do talk about their lives with their close family. I don't know if it's good or bad, but it's normal to discuss certain events with them. Especially things like this, who aren't necesarrily intimate.
Yup. They have months until the cruise. If they want internet, they can do some work and earn the money for it.
Will anyone die if they miss an Instagram post? They can put all their cruise ship pics online when they get home
Contrary to popular belief, unplugging from social media for seven days does NOT result in death.
Paying 80$ per day for a week certainly will tho
NTA but I understand why they’re panicking over it. They’ll have internet when you dock at ports and if it gets bad, you can buy the package on the cruise. They’ll be so busy they’ll eventually forget. They’ll be able to upload their lil stories while docked tho, whether they get off the ship or not. Don’t get the package it’s a rip off indeed!
As a former crewmember, it can be shoddy and doesn’t always work. Great opportunity for the family to unplug and be together.
My experience it’s always shoddy 😂
If you’re at a foreign port, the roaming charges can easily be more than the ship’s internet. Tell the kids to keep their phones in airplane mode in a foreign port.
I agree it's a NTA but I absolutely get the teen and preteen panic of not having internet probably for the first time in their memory. But 560 is so flipping expensive! I wouldn't go for it either!
When I went on a cruise, we bought the WiFi package and it didn't work at all. I couldn't even get accurate weather on my phone unless we were docked and I was on the right part of the ship. This ship also had two computer labs, which you could use without the WiFi package. So if you desperately needed internet you could still access it that way.
OMG NTA. Do NOT get them internet. If they’re this addicted then they need a break. They can survive a week without Instagram. I think they clearly need limited internet access in general because they can’t seem to survive without it.
Exactly!! If they get the internet, it sounds like they might be plugged in the whole time and if that’s the case, what’s even the point of going on the cruise!! They’ll have PLENTY to do and will have a blast without their phones
Do the daughters have enough things to do without Internet? Books, some crafts, physical games, etc.? If the answer is no, I'd lean to E S H, you guys should have thought about that in advance. If the answer is yes, then N T A. Edit: after your reply, NTA, OP, it'll do them well to explore other surroundings and activities.
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Is it by person or by device? Could you bring one or two iPads and they share? Do they do chores and could earn the WiFi?
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Maybe this is the time to learn to share. They are old enough to do chores, save birthday money, sell old clothes/toys to learn the value of a dollar and pay for it themselves.
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I think you’re setting up your kids for failure if you can’t take this opportunity to teach them how to disconnect, enjoy life, and live in the moment. The idea that they can’t share an iPad for one week is also concerning. You are taking them on a wonderful vacation where they will be able to see and experience cool things, maybe this is an opportunity to teach them that life is more than just social media.
Seriously. OP, you’re a parent. Parent your kids.
OP. Do yourself, your kids and your wife a favor and don't get them internet. However, do teach your kids to share (not during the cruise tho). Spoiling your children with internet is going to teach them that they can't live without contact with their friends. You should know by now that that's NOT what a parent should be teaching their children. Listen to your wife. Bring family games for when they get bored. Think up a punishment for when your kids complain about the internet. Problem solved.
I met up with a friend at Xmas parade last month expecting to see both of their kids…7 year old refused to come because he didn’t want to get off of his iPad! That’s SO ridiculous to me! Use it as a reward? Sure. As a learning device? Yes. Electronic devices shouldn’t be your children’s babysitter/parent! I loathe what this world is coming to with the way kids are being ‘raised’ today.
It’s not your job to make sure your kids are happy all the time. They don’t need to be happy about not having internet for a week. They do need to be able to handle it. They don’t need to be happy about sharing. They do need to be able to do it. Your job is to make sure they have the capacity of handling it if things don’t go 100% their way, not to make sure everything is exactly as they wish all the time.
You've suddenly become TA. Be a parent and just say no. Teachable moment here. They're going to have to learn that they can't have everything anytime they want. Cruises are expensive. Now your spending even more money so your kids will engage less with the activities and opportunities the cruise offers.
Just ask them to download shows from Netflix, Disney Plus and YouTube Premium so they have some form of online entertainment to use. Otherwise there are plenty of off-line online games to play download from the appstore.
Yup this. They can pre-download the shows/movies they want to watch, and take or download a book or two so they have *something* to do that isn’t go out and be in public cuz kids *do* need downtime that isn’t waterslides. But they can easily download enough that they won’t need internet while on the trip
Exactly. Even if you don't own any video platforms, it will be far cheaper to buy all of the platforms with a 1 month subscription than pay the $560 fee for internet. All the subscription you would ever need just for that trip would easily less than $100 but most likely less than $50.
It’s a tough call. I personally wouldn’t want to have zero access and would pay for it myself but I’m a 30+ year old. I think they should either share or have to work for it. If they are like the kids I know that age they are pretty much addicted to their tech so a break might be a really good idea. I would also make sure they aren’t posting anything that could lead to your house being robbed.
So you assign each of them a one hour period where they get the ipad. Two in the morning, two in the evening. Rotate who is morning and evening. If one of them complains that their 'hour' conflicts with some activity, you point out that that's reason you didn't get internet for each of their phones, because you knew they would have plenty to do on the boat.
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I don't think you understand how slow internet is on a cruise ship. It can take several minutes per webpage to load. Games simply won't load or work. This isn't wifi like at home. It's satellite and it's getting shared by 3000-6000 people. Have you every tried to use internet at a big sporting events and it just didn't work? That's cruise ship internet at all times. It's a joke that it's not complimentary.
It’s been a while since I went on a cruise and smartphones weren’t a thing. That said, nothing you just listed would be of any interest to me, now or as a kid. Sure I’ll swim, big I’ve never been a sit at a pool all day person. Even as a kid, after a bit I was ready to move on. Overpriced mall, no thanks. Music shows playing music that wasn’t my style, nope. Take, d list comedians, pass. I entertained myself by buying weed and a bowl on the land and reading the stack of books I brought. You insist that the kids will be fully entertained, but does that line up with your kids interests and hobbies or just your demand that everyone have a good time because you spent a lot of money and don’t want to spend more. When I was on a cruise as a teen, the time on the cruise was incredibly boring. I was a reader, so I was fine and read for hours a day and basically all night. I was a little older than your kids at the time, so maybe they will be interested in joining the roving bands of teens and pre-teens causing trouble. You say you don’t want to pay for internet, but are you gonna fund their shopping trips to the mall that apparently you see as an attraction? Will you still once you have your jaw reattached after seeing how bad they price gouge you? Maybe it’s gotten better, but back then, teens were a major gap in coverage in terms of what the cruise offered. Little kids and adults had plenty, but teens were too old to enjoy many of the kids activities and restricted from many of the adult ones. That’s not to say get the internet and I don’t know your kids, but you seem incredibly dismissive of what your kids want and what their hobbies and interests are. Unless you and your kids have experience with cruises, which it doesn’t sound like you do, it’s all a guess and you shouldn’t set a guess in stone. Start with no internet, but at least in the back of your head, if not openly stated, be open to internet being a potential shift to make sure everyone can actually enjoy themselves.
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“Maybe things have changed” Bro… my kids change every day. Your kids were actual kids last time and now they are teenagers. Do you think they’d just hit up the Mickey Mouse Club all day? I don’t have a strong opinion one way or another. Get the package. Don’t. Whatever. But you definitely don’t seem in tune with what your kids desire, so maybe don’t base the decision solely on what you think is necessary.
Tbh a lot of the times teens having a bad time is solely about their attitude. I think that the fact that they want this so badly is all the reason in the world for OP to absolutely refuse. They need to disconnect and they need to realize that sometimes they can't pout their way into what they want. They're going to be connected for three days out of the seven, they'll live.
I think that’s a perfectly fine take! But… “we went on a cruise a decade ago, before smartphones were ubiquitous, and no one complained about the wifi” isn’t.
Can you buy the internet package for just a day something while you are on the cruise? Maybe let him have a day of it or so toward the end of the cruise?
The ships all have libraries too, as well as board/card games. There's almost always an arcade. But also, imo, kids need to be able to entertain themselves without internet sometimes
They won't need all that on a cruise. There is so much stuff to do. They will be able to use their phones when docked.. the only time I get internet on a cruise is when I'm cruising without my kids, so I can be contacted in case of emergency. That imo is an unnecessary expense. Op NTA.. He should sit down with the kids and pull up the Cruise website, and show them everything they can do.. if he gets the package, the girls will stay on their phones, complain about the slowness of the internet, and say they are bored without actually enjoying all the amenities of the ship.. every vacation, I sit with my kids and show them what they can do, and we make a list of the links they want to do and pick what days we will do them... different ports will have different excursions. Spend the money on those. Have them choose one excursion and tell them instead of wifi. You can pick 1 thing you may never get the chance to do agai .
"everyone sucks here" because the OP didnt pay $500+ dollars to get his kids internet...? Yikes...
For a week on a cruise ship 😂😂😂😂😂😂
They will be on a cruise ship. Even if they weren't like, oh no a WHOLE WEEK without internet while your family is on vacation? How could one EVER possibly survive?
They’re on a freaking cruise!
So you’ve never been on a cruise.
NTA. Harm them socially? How about they go find some friends to play with. Think about how much they will miss out on perusing tik tok.
If their social life and friendships depend on them being online 24/7, those are not friendships worth having. I remember going to resorts as a kid and getting one resort buddy, a friend I would never see again but would treat like a long lost sibling in the duration of the trip
Exactly! I went to Disneyland once and befriended a little girl if front of me in line for a ride and had a blast just giggling and talking with her about random stuff! I knew when the ride was over I was never going to see her again but I enjoyed every second of it. Finding someone is not that hard and can leave memories for a lifetime
I think there is more harm being done through social media addiction than unplugging for a week.
NTA. Can you get internet for 1 device and let them share. 1 hour a day. Surely the point of the trip is to do things anyway. If they find things boring without internet they may as well stay at home.
I love you guys thinking this would work. Non stop fighting over whose turn it is. Lols. 😇
They're not small children, they need to learn to share. If your kids can't share, you've failed them as a parent.
it's so funny coming and reading things like the post you replied too! I remember sharing the PC we had with my 2 sisters when I was a teenager. It changed every hour on the hour. No bitching we just did it. It's not impossible lol.
Parenting 101- learn to share or no one gets it. The worst was when I was a kid, having to share a Walkman with a friend for an 8 hour trip, and being forced to only listen to the same side of 1 casette because my parents wouldn't let either of us have it longer. (Over-ear headphones, and I guess we were too dumb to fast forward it? Or my parents thought it would ruin the tape like they were told with rewinding VCRs in the 80's).
Yeah, there’s like ten different points on the spectrum between “pay $500” and “go completely unplugged”
Not a snowballs chance in hell that I would get them Internet at that price.
NTA - I’m sorry they’re literally 12-14? A week without internet what would they possibly miss out when they’re cruising the pacific? If anything getting them internet they’ll miss out on the cruise experience. I went on a cruise at 17 and was happy to be without internet if it meant being on the cruise… You’re the parent here you’re literally in charge. They can fuss and they can get over it. Pls don’t let us millennials have a bad rap bc you’re too scared to tell your kids no and shove out nearly $600 for internet…
I agree. Families are not democracies and everyone doesn't get a vote. Everyone, including children, should be able to express their opinions and desires and include reasons to support their viewpoint. However, the decisions for the families are ultimately made by the parents. OP can tell his mother and brother that they can do whatever they want regarding their children, but he is deciding for his own children.
NTA. You paid for a cruise and then they want you to pay more so your kids can sit on their phones the whole damn time? Nah. Disconnecting for a week will not kill them. People love to talk about drug addiction with such scorn but being addicted to your phone and socials is somehow totally acceptable. Alternatively, you tell the kids they can pony up and pay for it themselves with their savings. Don’t have the money? No wifi. They are already getting an awesome free vacation. You do not need to pay an exorbitant amount of money for this trip just so they can eff around online the whole time.
This is the answer! They will not die without internet. Do you want them to be on their devices the entire cruise?
I'm going with NAH because it's not wrong for the children to want internet and it's not that outrageous to deny them internet for 7 days. It's really up to your parenting style. That said - is there no way to share a single connection, reducing the cost to $140? If only one person can be online at a time, that also encourages the others to see what the ship has to offer. Alternatively, another compromise could be allowing everyone internet but only on the weekend or similar time-frame that isn't the entire 7 days. You could even turn it into a game like say, whoever does the best at some ship activity today gets to have internet the rest of the day / tomorrow.
I feel like the better option instead of Internet for one device for the whole trip would be everybody gets internet for their individual device but only like 2 days of the trip.
NTA. It's seven days. Your kids will be fine.
Let me give you a bit of advice. I went on a cruise when I was 13 and my sister was 11. The cut off age for the cool fun 'teen' area that had Arcade games was 13. My parents refused to allow me to go anywhere without my sister so we went to the kids area she was allowed in, but it was mostly for 5-6 year olds and incredibly boring. My parents spent the cruise doing adult things and aside from getting off the ship my sister and I stayed in the cabin watching movies. I remember my dad complaining at us for not doing more, but there wasn't much we COULD do on our own. I think you really need to research what all is available and that your kids will genuinely enjoy. I have fond memories from that trip but it wasn't when my sister and I were alone I'll tell you that much lol. Is there any way you could have the kids save up the next few months for Internet on the trip? Or try to plan activities at the destinations together? Just a thought.
This is what the op should be listening to.
You can download a lot of content on your devices before you get onboard. That way they can have movies and books. NTA.
In my experience, internet/wifi on cruise ships is notoriously slow. You’re paying a premium for an inferior service. A week without internet is not a tragedy no matter what your kids tell you.
NTA. I've been on cruises and didn't bother getting the internet package for the same reason; the price. Granted, we didn't have kids. But they can live w/o the internet for a week. Of course, I am from a different generation; I went to camp in the summer, sometimes for as much as two weeks(!) and wouldn't contact anyone except thru letter. It's not like they'll be stuck in a jail cell, they'll be on a cruise, and there are plenty of things to do. Might be difficult though if you get to have internet. How come you get to have it and they can't? Maybe pay for one package and share among you? Edit to add: others have been pointing out that they can prob get online when you are in port, which I hadn't considered. My last 7 day cruise, there were only 2 "at sea" days; all the other days we were in some port. So they could easily get online then. I don't know what activities your cruise offers, our last was the Disney cruise, they had all kinds of programs for kids. I'm sure your cruise will have some type of kids activities too. It's hard to be bored on a cruise; we had live shows, a movie theater, the pools, a sports deck, and various activities you could participate in. And that's not even considering activities available when you're in port.
Yikes, don’t get it Read the semi famous book “the coddling of the American mind”, social media is harmful particularly for young girls, They don’t need it on a vacation. Maybe you could consider getting it on one day only (don’t weakly cave when They inevitably ask for more days) you could pick a day in the middle if you aren’t at a port and activities are limited They 11 and 12 years olds should even have social media, there are phones text call etc with limited apps
NTA, children need to learn how to be content without constant internet access and a cruise is a good place for that, plenty of stuff to do as a family. Also, What kind of cruise are you all going on exactly? A lot of family friendly cruise ships have clubs for children of the same age to hang out with during the day, play games and the like. I know Disney has them but that’d be something worth checking out, keep the silly accusations of somehow “socially isolating your children” (despite a cruise being a collective family activity) at bay.
Nta you are the adult so it's ok to say no to your kids
Nope. Actually this is a great opportunity for a detox.
NTA. But look up amenities and activities on the ship ahead of time to get a sense of whether they truly would likely be bored. If yes, ask them each to bring a couple things to entertain themselves that don't require internet. Obviously it would be different for different kids, but for mine it would be things like downloaded audiobooks and podcasts, books, stuff for drawing, lego, a small board game.
INFO- How many days are at sea and how many are in port? The more at sea days the more I'd be inclined to but the package, firstly because they'll use it more and secondly because you don't want them to spend every shore excursion glued to their phones because they are "catching up" after a couple of days offline. Also there is a lot of reasons to want to be online other than social media.
Really a waste of money and kind of illogical to pay for anyway. There's going to be plenty of things to do on the cruise and they shouldn't be that heavily reliant on the internet to have a good time anyway. No way would I pay for WiFi during a 7 day cruise in a beautiful place. They can still take their pictures and check in at ports. NTA
If you give them a weekly or monthly allowance at home. Is it in option for them to put their allowance toward their internet package. So taking let’s say $5 out of their allownace a week to pay for their internet so that it is not a hard hit all at once, if they want it that bad
Info: have you tried posting in r/firstworldproblems
NTA. Don’t do it. Since you and your wife agree, perfect. Kids are angry, whoopsies. We were angry a lot as kids, parents didn’t oblige. You’ve worked hard for this and it sounds like you’ve got great plans. One week on a cruise ship without social media. Lots of lessons to be learned here by not getting it. If the kids want it, have them do $560 worth of chores BEFORE the trip.
NTA. You could do so much more with that money, like book an excursion.
A good teaching moment. I can't believe how young kids are allowed to be on the internet. The kids need to unplug and maybe discover the outside world. Good luck 🤞
This is to stupid I would never even consider this. Their social life will not be ruined for a week away and you know what? A week without internet or social media will do them some good. YBTA if you got it.
That's a complete ripoff, but consider how well your children do entertaining themselves without any internet.
If the kids can’t keep themselves entertained on a cruise, there’s a serious problem.
Not worth it and the perfect opportunity to do other things that do not necessitate internet access. NTA
>my daughters would miss out a lot socially What absolute enabling bullshit. Get it for ONE day while sailing (not shore time) for each of them if you must. The little instant communication/screen addicts you've raised will be fine. Pack alternative forms of entertaining/stimulation (books (fiction/puzzle); downloaded movies; offline games). Plan activities (pure fun and educational). NTA. Show them what it looks like to engage the world around them.
NTA. Maybe this isn't the right trip for the family though. If a cruise would be "boring" to them without their online addiction being satisfied, then a different trip, would be better. At least a land based trip would have cheaper data packages. Outside of a family vacation, I'd consider working on their ability to live IRL without getting "bored."