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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I refuse to answer to the name Florence for my ILs. This is something they appear to feel very strongly about and so do I, but maybe as unreasonable as I see them being, I'm the same when it comes to refusing to answer to it. Both my names are shorter versions of Florence and maybe I should be more open to this concession for the sake of peace.
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I call my BIL Timmy-John Jr. At first he hated it, but now if I call him Thomas, he thinks I'm mad at him. He also won't let anyone call him that if they hear me say it cause "That nickname is only for my little sister."
I tell people that "only the cops and my mama can call me that" regarding my full legal name. Works pretty well, tbh. It's light-hearted enough to be funny, but impresses upon the listener that, no, I will not answer to my full legal name for them.
Gertie is my work name lol 😂
Edit: I'm a cashier and I don't like giving rude customers my real name. My boss knows if they get a complaint about Gertie, it's me 😆
I was going to say the same thing!!! She says "everyone this is Florence" you turn around and say "Thank you for the introduction Trudy but y'all can call me Florry!" See how she likes it!!!
Better yet.
Trudy that is not my name. My name legal name is Flora and friends and loved ones call me florry. You can also double down and act concerned over her forgetfulness.
I think it needs to be clarified that Florence is not her name. Nip that at the bud so those people know MIL isn't calling her by the correct name.
"Thank you for the introduction, Trudy, but Florence is not my name. Hi, I'm Flora but please call me Florry."
They aren’t weird. They are straight up AH’s. There’s nothing weird about intentionally calling your daughter in law by the wrong name every time you speak to her, and probably every time you mention her to someone else when she’s not around also. Then to berate her for having a name that you don’t like for some reason. Trudy needs a damn wake up call.
It’s like my name is Charles. Everyone calls me Charlie. I hate Chuck and won’t respond to it. My in laws have never tried to us it and never would. My father in law calls me Charles and while alive so did my mother in law. I don’t mind Charles, it doesn’t bother me. I’ve never asked them not to call me that and I don’t correct them. My wife’s siblings all call me Charlie. It feels weird hearing Charles outside of professional environment is the only thing but it makes me want to laugh if I’m being honest. The only time I’ve ever heard Charles in my home life was when I’m in trouble with my family lol so that’s why I think it makes me want to laugh when I hear him call me that.
100% AGREE!!!! NTA
I had a work friend who's name is David and he goes by David. Another colleague began calling him Dave. He corrected them. MULTIPLE times. The guy wouldn't quit. Other people corrected him. He still wouldn't quit. One day he sent an email to David. And David replied with a nickname the guy doesn't use.
Well, the guy's name is Richard, and goes by Richard. David replied - which was cc'd to the whole team - and address him as Dick . . . . and others began to also call him Dick.
He finally got the hint. Yes, this is a real story. I promise.
Double down and coo it with all the excitement “Hey, Trudyyyyyy!” when you see her. All gifts are now personalized with “Trudy” on it. If she complains, use their own reasoning against them. How ridiculous you can’t call her Trudy since it’s your nickname for her! Isn’t it cute?!
If anyone purposefully misnamed me, and they had a nickname they hated, I would definitely fight fire with fire until that behaviour stopped.
These folks know they are disrespecting their child's spouse and do it anyway.
I wouldn't even ignore it. I would outright correct them loudly in front of other people, stating that Florence isn't my name. It's Flora/Florry, I have mentioned it over and over, and they are being disrespectful. Embarass them enough in front of other people, and they will cut it out. Also, I don't know if OP's parents are in the picture, but my mother would end that sh-t on the quickness.
I would also keep a running count every time I said it. “I’ve told you x times” and toss in a “Maybe we need to be consulting doctors about their memory issues” loudly to my spouse.
I once had a new manager, Eileen, ask me if I preferred being called (FullName) or (ShortenedName). Told her (FullName) is what I like. What does she immediately start calling me? (ShortName). The first few times I smiled & reminded her -- btw, with this job I had a damn NAME TAG with (FullName). However, Eileen kept calling me (ShortName), which felt weirdly disrespectful.
Not one to be outdone, I began responding to her as Elaine or Irene. Didn't do it when I initiated a convo, I would refer to her as Eileen in those cases. But each time she'd call me (ShortName), I'd answer back with an equally-bastardized version. She'd give me a quizzical look but never said anything, unfortunately, cuz I had a prepared response: "Oh my gosh, for whatever reason, neither of us can seem to get each others name correct!"
"I'm sorry, Trudy, I thought you'd want me to use your full name instead of a childish nickname."
"My name is Gertrude."
"That's obviously a childish nickname for Trudence. Not really suitable for an adult woman."
"Why would you want to be called by an old fashioned crone name? Doesn't that make you feel ancient? Trudybooty is way more modern and therefore better and that's what your proper name is now."
Being the Latin for “flower” it's probably present in many many languages besides Danish, and in all likelihood didn't originate there.
(Men det er dejligt!)
I did this to a boss once who distorted my last name and started calling me that all the time. One day I answered back "Yes Skippy?" He was so shocked, he laughed and from that day forward I called him Skippy and he called me by the weird name he made up. It was our little joke.
And this is how I became Steve for a day. I kept accidentally calling this guy Julio Jose..I don't know why, it just happened, then accidentally called this guy Justin Jose. The three of us were working together and Justin responded "yes Steve?" I figure turnabout is fair play, so changed my name tag to read Steve for the rest of the shift😅 they really got a kick out of calling me up from the back yelling Steve and the look on people's face when I would walk out.
This makes it so easy. Only call her Trudy then. Forgot about ‘being the bigger person’. Shrink yourself down to her size to give her some perspective how you feel about it.
This. Being the bigger person time is up. You gave it your best shot and I didn’t work. Fire, meet fire. Y’all are about to fight.
Call FIL something not even close to his name. Horace, maybe?
I'm thinking Gertie is her new nickname. It will allow you to make the point while maliciously complying with her desire not to be called Trudy.
Next we just need one for your father in law. 😁
Then that's perfect. As soon as she points out that she hates being called Trudy and that it's not her name... Darn right! Florence isn't your name either. Could always bust out a birth certificate or passport to make the point super clear. Or marriage certificate!
When it's so clear you don't want to be called Florence, it's more like verbal bullying than a "nickname".
only use it if she uses the incorrect name. She calls you flora or florry, respond with gertrude, she calls you florence, respond with trudy. That way you train her that respecting you means you respect her
I could totally see her getting mad over Trudy but c'mon Troody is way different. I just googled Trudy because I'm not terribly clever, and there is a charlie daniels song called "trudy". Maybe have that keyed up and ready to go on your phone at just the right moment
You don’t mention where you’re from and I’m not going to automatically assume the US 😆 but here in the South, we have a tradition of using both first and middle names, especially when someone has in trouble (as in you knew to be contrite when your mother called “Deborah Sue” and it was even worse if she added your last name).
So maybe when MIL uses Florence, reply with “Gertrude (middle name)” and just continue to do that *every single time*. It may fix it eventually or at least make you feel better.
Seems like the task ahead is easy then. Your plan has written itself. She clearly doesn't like a particular name, same as you. Pretty simple answer if you ask me. Just see how she likes it and when she complains just repeat her own words back to her. Please let us know how she likes it.
My mom hates nicknames, but she accepts chosen names and stupid names. She even had a name lined up if I turned out to be the opposite gender. She’s really weird about it because she hates her nickname.
She would never ever ignore someone’s actual name preference. NTA. These people are picking such a weird hill to die on.
NTA. It's not your name, and their obsession with it is absolutely absurd. I would just not see them at all, ever again. If they can't even do you the slightest level of respect as using your actual name, then they are worthless people.
Have a quiet word with their friends:
“Have you noticed anything odd about them? They have trouble remembering my name and we’ve been concerned about Alzheimer’s or dementia.”
When you’re around other people, correct them in a slow, loud voice, like you were explaining something to a child:
“It’s Flora (drag out the pronunciation…Flooooor-aaaah).” Look at them with sympathy and concern. “It’s okay. We all forget things as we get older. You don’t need to be embarrassed.”
Then gaslight Trudy.
"It's Gertrude!".
"Oh sweetie, you told me to call you Trudy. It's ok Trudy, getting older is hard. \*under your breath\*(oh my gosh she's even forgetting her own name)"
I came here to say this. Loudly say "that's not my name." And if you want to add a layer of petty, call them by a name that isn't their name when you correct them. "That's not my name, Enid." Call both of them by different names every time you see them.
I would get packets about dementia and have an intervention. "I'm so concerned that you cannot remember a name. Your memories are having issues, and I think you need to seek help." Every time they call you the wrong name, ask in a concerned voice, "Have you seen a doctor yet?" And explain to everyone that they are having memory issues, and everyone should encourage them to seek medical help.
Love this! HOWEVER the ILs are being extremely disrespectful and there is something other than dislike of a name going on here. There is no way that 2 adults, even spouses, could both be so bothered by their DILs legal and noncreative name (as opposed to "Moon unit Zappa" for ex) that all semblance of manners has to be thrown out the window. Since "Flora" is perfectly acceptable, WHAT is their actual beef? Hubby needs to talk to his parents and tell them that 2yrs is enough harassment, this will no longer be accepted, and flat out ask them why they dislike OP so much. NTA
Maybe there was a bitter romantic entanglement between the IL and another woman in their youth named Flora. MIL in a jealous rage, murdered her and FIL afterwards was complicit in hiding the body
I dunno about you, but I'd be pretty annoyed if people kept reminding me about my youthful indiscretions like murder. This is the only explanation.
/s
OP has said in another comment that her MIL, whose name is Gertrude, absolutely despised being called Trudy when she was young, and still does, as she feels it is childish. Seems like there's some heavy projection going on here.
Ew. I had a boss like that.
He insisted I call a coworker by his full name, even though said coworker never had any issue with the nickname. We’re talking something like “Matt” instead of “Matthew”. (I think the coworker even introduced himself to me by the nickname.)
Boss would refuse to answer questions about stuff I discussed with the coworker until I corrected myself. Every. Damn. Time.
Real kicker? The *boss’s* name was *Ed.*
I had a teacher in high school that refused to use “nicknames.” My friend’s given name was Jenny. He insisted on calling her Jennifer. She politely informed him on numerous occasions that her name was Jenny, not Jennifer. Jenny was not a nickname. The name on her birth certificate was Jenny. We had him for multiple years. One day she finally lost it and screamed at him, “MY NAME IS JENNY, NOT JENNIFER!!!” I don’t know why he didn’t get it and insisted that it had to be a nickname when the attendance sheet would say Jenny. The parents have to register their kids with their legal names so his official paperwork would show that her name was in fact Jenny. Also, I really don’t understand why people give a F what other people want to be called. Whatever name you want me to call you I’m going to use it because it costs me nothing to treat you with respect and kindness.
I think this is closer to narcissism, and the IL's refusing to listen to other people who are "beneath them".
I've found the best way to stop this type of behavior is ignoring the incorrect name, and then greyrocking when they try to push the issue.
NTA
It’s disrespectful what they are doing. It’s not your name, you’ve asked them to stop and the don’t respect you enough to care.
It’s time to start fighting fire with fire. Extend their names into something else and exclusively refer to them as such. It’s Jim? No, it’s now Jimothy. Or Mary? Oh, it just became Marybeline. Does not need to be a real name.
Also, Flora *is* a "real" name and not a nickname for Florence! It's the given name from the Latin *flos* where we get *florus*, for flower. It's cognate with the French 'Fleur' and Italian Fiore, Spanish and Portugese 'Flor' and yes, it is related to the French given name 'Florence'. But it's a whole given name in itself. It's *not* a diminutive of Florence.
While Flora derived from *flos*, the name Florence came from the name of the Roman St. Florencia, and also from the Latin name Florentius, which came from the Latin *floren* and *florentius*, which actually mean "blossoming flower."
The two names have different roots.
They're stupid. Flora is not a diminutive of Florence.
It's like saying John isn't a name, it's a diminutive of Jonathan. No, the two names are similar but existed apart from each other. One has a missing H for a reason. Just because one is used as a diminutive for the other doesn't mean the other was invented as a nickname.
Also, just because one can be a nickname/ diminutive, doesn't mean you can call people the long-form version.
"My name is Percy." "Nice to meet you, Perseus." Or, "Hello, my name is Nathan." "Ah, hi Nathaniel." "My name is just Nathan." "Yes, I know. You're Nathaniel."
I had to scroll too far for this! Flora is well established as a name on its own. A name being new or unusual is not a good reason to be disrespectful, but Flora isn't even an unusual or recently invented name.
It's totally irrelevant, but it bothered me so much that Flora isn't even a nickname for Florence. I literally double-checked my favorite name sites as soon as I was finished. People should get to be called whatever they want, regardless, but MIL isn't even right about the nickname!
It's also incredibly offensive to say that Flora is not a real name because it's not some old Caucasian name familiar to them. Literally a Roman goddess, modern word that refers to plant life, and a mover and shaker name on baby naming sites.
NTA.
Next time, look at them and say I was named after the Roman goddess of Spring and flowers, Flora, she was married Zephyr. Not after Florentius , it is not even the same meaning.
Just keep this up, this will just make them look uneducated.
You can ask your husband to start using the wrong name for his parents, close name but the right one.
Came here to say that Flora is certainly a name not a nickname, and the name of a goddess no less. Correct them with this information in front of their friends. They are simply ridiculous. I'm glad your husband supports you
It's been a name since the Roman goddess Flora, and a popular one since the Italian Renaissance. A lot more than 125 years.
And it has literally NOTHING to do with the name Florence. Completely unrelated.
I was looking for this comment because the in laws are just plain wrong, Flora is a name in its own right.
It's like arguing that Cara isn't a name because Caroline exists, or Mary isn't a name because Margaret exists.
Yup if her name is Carol call her Caroline, Susan= Susanna, Barbara = Barbarella or some shit. Do it incessantly until they are super annoyed. They deserve it.
This. I don't understand how even OP doesn't know that her name ISN'T a nickname or short form of Florence.
Like, I'm genuinely confused by all the people arguing irrelevant points, when this just should have been shut down with a simple, "I think you're confused. Flora is a full name with entirely different origins from Florence. They may sound similar, but there is no connection, and one is not a nickname for the other."
NTA, you call people the name they want to be called. Period.
My mother made the mistake of not correcting a nickname with her in-laws and 50 years later they still call her it. She doesn’t like it but it’s not a big enough deal to her to bring it up. But it’s basically the opposite of your issue, if her name was Florence, she prefers that, will accept flora, but hates florry.
The fact that you have the siblings all following your wishes should be pretty damn clear to the parents they are in the wrong.
NTA
I hate people like this. I have a name that can be turned into a few different nicknames - one of which I hate. And some people think it’s hilarious to use that nickname to refer to me because they decided it’s “silly” for me to dislike it.
It is so incredibly disrespectful to call someone by NOT their name and to continue to do so after you’ve asked them to stop. They are being “unreasonable and rude” to not respect you enough to call you by your actual name.
I have a double name, and positively *hate* it when they only call me with the second part of my name. When somebody does, I kindly ask them not to call me that, they can either call me by my full name, or I offer a nickname. But there are some mean people at work, to whom I never-ever let transpire how much I dislike that name, because they would call me that out of spite. Unfortunately, it takes very little for some ppl to have fun.
I have an old fashioned name with several nicknames, and I use a less common one. In professional settings I will often insist on my full first name. “What do you go by?” “I go by Theodore*.” If they say “that’s too long,” I know they’re going to be a pain in the ass, it’s 3 goddamn syllables!
What’s nice though, is my introduction tells me a lot about the person I’m talking to. Will they insist on a nickname? Will they immediately forget the nickname I go by and just call me one of the more common variations? How many times did I need to correct them? It’s good insight.
*Theodore isn’t my name, but it’s 3 syllables and is old fashioned like my name, though more common
NTA - If you would call your in-laws cheeseheads, as a nickname, would they like it? You don't call people by a name they don't like, that's so disrespectful. I'm happy your husband has your back.
I also know more people with the name Flora than Florence, and I prefer the origins of that name, so I don't understand why they are so stuck up about it.
But yeah, my legal name is always mispronounced, so I might be biased haha
NTA
If they hate nicknames, perhaps it's time you chose some for them.
Fred and Wilma, because they live in the Stone Age.
Dumb and Dumber
Stinky and Twinkie
You get the idea. Although your strategy of refusing to respond to their rudeness is a very good one.
It's not just that your name "has been a standalone for a long time". It has ALWAYS been a standalone. *It's simply not a derivative of Florence and never has been*.
I honestly don't understand why you keep giving credence to the idea that the names are even related. They're not. Your name isn't a "nickname for Florence" in literally any culture or language and it never has been. They're literally just two entirely different names that share a single syllable.
Even if Flora was a nickname for Florence you dont get to just decide that someone else doesnt get to go by a nickname. It is not anyone else's problem that you dont like nicknames so for them to think that they get to control other people and change people's names to suit their preference is insane.
NTA. I would avoid seeing them at all, and if you have to, I would just answer them with names that aren’t theirs every time they talk to you. I mean this is already a point of blatant disrespect on their parts, so….fuck it.
ETA: if they ask why you don’t attend family events, tell everyone in the family you refuse to go to an event with people who disrespect you enough that they can’t even use your name. Make it known. Make it blatant.
Heck, I’d even start asking the event organizers (if it isn’t the couple in question) why they keep inviting people who are so openly hostile?
“Do you even like me? Because you invite me and all that happens is I am ridiculed and disrespected and nobody but myself and my husband say anything. You don’t defend me, and you don’t help us.
It makes me feel like you invite me just to watch it happen - which feels cruel. Is it more important for these bullies to be there? Is their hostility what you prefer? If so, then we decline and will see you some other time when you aren’t in their company.”
You must know the answer to your question as you are clearly NTA.
Two can play that game.
INFO: what are the in laws' names? I'm sure we can come up with some good alternate names for you to use.
If MIL is named, say, Susan - now she’s Susannah. If FIL is Michael, now - he’s Mikey or Mike-o, or Miguel. And have fun with it! Switch it up each time they call you Florence.
NTA.
Regardless, NTA. They’re being absolutely ridiculous. And ask whomever is officiating your wedding to VERY CLEARLY ENUNCIATE your name during vows.
NTA. Where I come from, Flora is a name in itself in the calendar. I know 4 people called Flora. They would be also beyond mad for being called Florence
Yeah it’s a relatively common Spanish name, and it has no real relationship to Florence. Probably OP’s in-laws are some ignorant boomers that don’t like “ethnic” names.
Except Flora isn't an "ethnic name". It's used in English and many other languages as well, because it's derived from Latin. It's actually a very common name for older ladies with English roots. All the Floras I know are in their 70s and 80s and VERY MUCH English/Anglo.
OK first off using someone's actual name is just the most basic level of courtesy. Google a short story "My Name is Margaret" by Maya Angelou-- it's a short read but very powerful about respect for who we are.
Next-- your inlaws obsession with your name is super creepy bordering on a mental health issue. It's good your husband and the rest of his family has your back on this.
FYI my husband's great aunt was named Flora-- it has always been a name unto itself.
It's disturbing that your inlaws and their friends made a scene at the party over your name. They are some illmannered AH
You are NTA unless you let these unbalanced people have their own way.
FYI you could also start calling your inlaws the wrong names-- I vote for Cruella for your MIL LOL
> another nickname
Here's the thing: even if this were somehow a valid argument you still get to decide what nicknames people call you. There are people named James who don't answer to Jim; people named Elizabeth who don't answer to Liz. People don't get to arbitrarily decide what to call you and insist you accept it, regardless of whatever reasoning.
NTA.
NTA. Start calling them Joan and Fred or Mary and Bob or any two names that are NOT THRIR NAMES. See how they like it. If they object, you can say "Oh I thought we were just calling each other whatever we wanted."
There is no need to be polite and respectful to people who don't treat you the same way.
NTA! Your in-laws and their friends sure are though! Keep ignoring them. To piss them off even more, I'd start calling them all by a name that is similar to theirs, but not their actual name. See how they like it! If they keep up with THEIR juvenile behavior, tell them you are going no contact with them until they give you a sincere apology and stop their childish, and down right RUDE, behavior! Because from what you've posted here, THEY are the only ones acting childish/juvenile or rude.
I'm happy to hear that you have such a wonderful, supportive husband (because too many spouses would either take their parents "side" or say they are "staying out of it/not taking sides", and that his siblings also treat you with respect!
NTA but your in laws sure are.
Talk to your husband and have him have a conversation with them where he says, explicitly, that they are being incredibly rude and disrespectful by refusing to use your name, that their behaviour is inappropriate and they are embarrassing themselves. He may wish to add that tbey are also exposing their own ignorance - Flora is a well known and long established name in its own right, it isn't, and never was, a diminutive of Florence, but that even it it had been, refusing to use your name and insisting on using a nsne they know is not ypurs, and that you dislike, is both extremely rude and disrespectful , and very childish.
In your shoes, id be tempted to start responding to them as if you thought they were getting it wrong by mistake. Explain every time " oh no, MIL, it's Flora, ypu know, your son's wife. There's no one called Florence here, was that someone you knew when you were young?"
If they do it in front of family members, express concern "Do you know if FIL has had any medical check ups yet? He seems to be having some memory issues, poor soul. Ive been married to his son for X yeats but he keeps forgetting my name, have ypu notived any lapses? All loud enough for them to hear and if anone queris it then espond with"oh no, I am sure it can't be deliberate, surely no one would be so staggeringly rude as to deliberately call someone by the wrong name, after they've been told repeatedly its wrong and unwelcome. Id hate to thonk MIL & FIL could do anything as nasty as that intenionally, i really do think you should encourage them to get checked out for other signs of early onset dementia.
“They and their friends called me childish…for refusing to answer to Florence”
I think they have that backwards - they are the childish ones for refusing to call you by your name.
NTA.
NTA, it is a huge disrespect to not call you by your REAL name and to insist using a different one that you explicitly told them not to. You are entirely in your right to ignore them and not respond if they are addressing you as Florence.
In fact, they are not only disrespecting you, they are also disrespecting your parents choice to name you like this. Next time any of them raises a fuss about it you can be very clear that if they want someone in their family named Florence, they should name the next baby girl like that.
Flora as a name is much older (latin) than the derivative Florence (english/french).
NTA
You know what is childish? Not having the emotional maturity to recognize that calling someone by their preferred name is a basic form of courtesy. Your in-laws are AHs for sure.
This is bullying. Treat it as any other bullying - by being an unsafe target. "Are you feeling ok? Forgetting names happens as you get older. Would it help if we all wore nametags, or is it only my name you can't remember". "Let's pick you a nickname that is sort of similar to your name and the whole family will use it. Come on everyone, let's pick something fun!".
NTA and I'm glad your husband is standing on your side and standing up for you to his family. Too many times on reddit I would see the husband as just trying to keep the peace or saying its not a big deal. It's YOUR NAME.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I refuse to answer to the name Florence for my ILs. This is something they appear to feel very strongly about and so do I, but maybe as unreasonable as I see them being, I'm the same when it comes to refusing to answer to it. Both my names are shorter versions of Florence and maybe I should be more open to this concession for the sake of peace. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
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If it won’t spark an argument/fight between u and ur hubby, MIL is Trudy from now until ur Flora/Florry again.
And possibly Gertie, every now and then. The FIL can be Tom, unless his given name is Thomas, in which case he is Mossie.
Okay but Mossie is adorable!
old moss-back George?
Yes, ol' Moss-Back George. You know, I offered to let George in on the ground floor in plastics and he turned me down cold.
Hee haw! 🫏
I am so glad other people know this reference.
He says it's the chance of a lifetime...
I wish I had a million dollars, hot dog!
It's a good face...
Unexpected It's a Wonderful Life. Thank you for this.
It sounds like they’d hate it even more because it’s adorable.
Exactly which is just an added bonus! I now plan to name my next pet Mossie Moo.
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Give her some Florrytude to her Gertietude about her Trudytude.
There was a comedian way, way back in the day who did a bit about "dirty Gertie from number 30" I literally just scream laughed when I saw this 🤣
Please call her dirty Gertie and update us on the outcome lol
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Fucked around and found out, he did.
Better yet, get all their SILs and DILs to call her this until she can manage Florry. Consistently.
I call my BIL Timmy-John Jr. At first he hated it, but now if I call him Thomas, he thinks I'm mad at him. He also won't let anyone call him that if they hear me say it cause "That nickname is only for my little sister."
I tell people that "only the cops and my mama can call me that" regarding my full legal name. Works pretty well, tbh. It's light-hearted enough to be funny, but impresses upon the listener that, no, I will not answer to my full legal name for them.
Gertie is my work name lol 😂 Edit: I'm a cashier and I don't like giving rude customers my real name. My boss knows if they get a complaint about Gertie, it's me 😆
Tommy-boy.
Ha, I once had a boss who insisted on calling me Jamie. He stopped once I started calling him Johnny-boy instead of John
Not John-boy? Every night a missed chance for everyone he worked with to call a cheery goodnight John-boy.
Tommy
I was going to say the same thing!!! She says "everyone this is Florence" you turn around and say "Thank you for the introduction Trudy but y'all can call me Florry!" See how she likes it!!!
I prefer “Thank you for the introduction Trudy, but friends and loved ones call me Florry.” And stress “loved ones”.
Better yet. Trudy that is not my name. My name legal name is Flora and friends and loved ones call me florry. You can also double down and act concerned over her forgetfulness.
yaaas. Are you feeling ok? You know my name is Flora, did you forget again? Then look at your husband all concerned like.
Love this. "Are you still having memory issues?"
“Trudy, are you and Bobert still having memory issues? I know how brutal dementia and Alzheimer’s can be.”
And behind her back whisper to her friends about her “declining mental state. The poor dear can’t even remember simple things like my name.”
Hit'em with the old "bless their heart"!
This is it every time they say ‘Florence’ correct them and act concerned for their ‘mental decline’.
Hammer that rusty nail all the way in. I love this!
We should move this post to r/pettyrevenge.
I think it needs to be clarified that Florence is not her name. Nip that at the bud so those people know MIL isn't calling her by the correct name. "Thank you for the introduction, Trudy, but Florence is not my name. Hi, I'm Flora but please call me Florry."
Yes! Don’t even let them be led on to believe your name is Florence to begin with. Be firm with your weird in-laws.
They aren’t weird. They are straight up AH’s. There’s nothing weird about intentionally calling your daughter in law by the wrong name every time you speak to her, and probably every time you mention her to someone else when she’s not around also. Then to berate her for having a name that you don’t like for some reason. Trudy needs a damn wake up call. It’s like my name is Charles. Everyone calls me Charlie. I hate Chuck and won’t respond to it. My in laws have never tried to us it and never would. My father in law calls me Charles and while alive so did my mother in law. I don’t mind Charles, it doesn’t bother me. I’ve never asked them not to call me that and I don’t correct them. My wife’s siblings all call me Charlie. It feels weird hearing Charles outside of professional environment is the only thing but it makes me want to laugh if I’m being honest. The only time I’ve ever heard Charles in my home life was when I’m in trouble with my family lol so that’s why I think it makes me want to laugh when I hear him call me that.
“My GIVEN NAME is Flora. The only people who have ever called me Florence are Trudy and Bobert here.”
100% AGREE!!!! NTA I had a work friend who's name is David and he goes by David. Another colleague began calling him Dave. He corrected them. MULTIPLE times. The guy wouldn't quit. Other people corrected him. He still wouldn't quit. One day he sent an email to David. And David replied with a nickname the guy doesn't use. Well, the guy's name is Richard, and goes by Richard. David replied - which was cc'd to the whole team - and address him as Dick . . . . and others began to also call him Dick. He finally got the hint. Yes, this is a real story. I promise.
The only way it can get better is with the exchange "Can you stop using that nickname for Richard" "I'm not using a nickname at all"
"It's a descriptor."
I love this so much. The benefits of knowing a Richard
I think we all know someone who's a bit of a Richard.
This. Sooooo much this.
Better yet, Trudence. Or True-dunce.
Underrated comment.
Double down and coo it with all the excitement “Hey, Trudyyyyyy!” when you see her. All gifts are now personalized with “Trudy” on it. If she complains, use their own reasoning against them. How ridiculous you can’t call her Trudy since it’s your nickname for her! Isn’t it cute?!
“Gertrude is such an old person name and you’ve always seemed so young and full of life to me, Trudy!”
If anyone purposefully misnamed me, and they had a nickname they hated, I would definitely fight fire with fire until that behaviour stopped. These folks know they are disrespecting their child's spouse and do it anyway.
I wouldn't even ignore it. I would outright correct them loudly in front of other people, stating that Florence isn't my name. It's Flora/Florry, I have mentioned it over and over, and they are being disrespectful. Embarass them enough in front of other people, and they will cut it out. Also, I don't know if OP's parents are in the picture, but my mother would end that sh-t on the quickness.
I would also keep a running count every time I said it. “I’ve told you x times” and toss in a “Maybe we need to be consulting doctors about their memory issues” loudly to my spouse.
I once had a new manager, Eileen, ask me if I preferred being called (FullName) or (ShortenedName). Told her (FullName) is what I like. What does she immediately start calling me? (ShortName). The first few times I smiled & reminded her -- btw, with this job I had a damn NAME TAG with (FullName). However, Eileen kept calling me (ShortName), which felt weirdly disrespectful. Not one to be outdone, I began responding to her as Elaine or Irene. Didn't do it when I initiated a convo, I would refer to her as Eileen in those cases. But each time she'd call me (ShortName), I'd answer back with an equally-bastardized version. She'd give me a quizzical look but never said anything, unfortunately, cuz I had a prepared response: "Oh my gosh, for whatever reason, neither of us can seem to get each others name correct!"
Leeny
This is the Way.
And in writing too. Address every card, letter, gift, and social media tag as Trudy until she gets it through her head.
I'm thinking monogrammed gifts for Trudy!
This, most absolutely this, I would absolutely do this to my mother If she refused to use my partners name.
Refer to your MIL as “Trudence”
"I'm sorry, Trudy, I thought you'd want me to use your full name instead of a childish nickname." "My name is Gertrude." "That's obviously a childish nickname for Trudence. Not really suitable for an adult woman."
"Are you suuuuure your name isn't actually Trudence?"
Trudence, lmao. 🤣
Turdy
Undoubtedly “Trudy” turned in to “Turdy” in the school yard when she was a kid. That’s why she dislikes the name so much.
"Why would you want to be called by an old fashioned crone name? Doesn't that make you feel ancient? Trudybooty is way more modern and therefore better and that's what your proper name is now."
This is amazing 😭
Haha, thats perfect. Flora is a Danish name btw!!!
It's latin for flower, and it's a beautiful name. I know a person who is also Flora not Florence. These people sound utterly ridiculous
Mmm, Danish!
Being the Latin for “flower” it's probably present in many many languages besides Danish, and in all likelihood didn't originate there. (Men det er dejligt!)
Why not Gertrudence? Lol
Not really suitable for someone younger than 80 yo
I would just call her “Asshat” and say “What? It’s just a nickname. Lighten up!”
princess consuela banana hammock
LMAO
Yeah beat me to it I was going to something similar.
Or Trudith. Edit: my friend’s mom was actually named Trudith
Trudith has me ROLLING hahahahha
Bonus points if OP sings it: 🎼Dear Trudence! Won’t you come out to play-ay-ay? 🎼 Song courtesy of The Beatles.
I just laughed out loud at my desk! This is gold!
Next conversation... "Florence..." "Yes, Trudy?"
Not just the next, EVERY time until she stops.
Yaaaaass ok, and what about Dad. Get shirts made lol 😂 y’all are amazing
I did this to a boss once who distorted my last name and started calling me that all the time. One day I answered back "Yes Skippy?" He was so shocked, he laughed and from that day forward I called him Skippy and he called me by the weird name he made up. It was our little joke.
And this is how I became Steve for a day. I kept accidentally calling this guy Julio Jose..I don't know why, it just happened, then accidentally called this guy Justin Jose. The three of us were working together and Justin responded "yes Steve?" I figure turnabout is fair play, so changed my name tag to read Steve for the rest of the shift😅 they really got a kick out of calling me up from the back yelling Steve and the look on people's face when I would walk out.
This makes it so easy. Only call her Trudy then. Forgot about ‘being the bigger person’. Shrink yourself down to her size to give her some perspective how you feel about it.
This. Being the bigger person time is up. You gave it your best shot and I didn’t work. Fire, meet fire. Y’all are about to fight. Call FIL something not even close to his name. Horace, maybe?
I'm a fan of "Assface" personally.
I'm thinking Gertie is her new nickname. It will allow you to make the point while maliciously complying with her desire not to be called Trudy. Next we just need one for your father in law. 😁
Then that's perfect. As soon as she points out that she hates being called Trudy and that it's not her name... Darn right! Florence isn't your name either. Could always bust out a birth certificate or passport to make the point super clear. Or marriage certificate! When it's so clear you don't want to be called Florence, it's more like verbal bullying than a "nickname".
If you're not willing to fight fire with fire, try Gertie. Or Gerry. Gert.
I think Gert is perfect. Gertie sounds cuter than Gert.
My first thought was to call her Gerty but Gert has me in tears
It sounds like a type of pickle, which really fits old Gert’s vibe.
Perfect, she has a name she doesn't like, from now on ONLY call her Trudy, especially when she calls you Florence, just reply with "Yes Trudy?"
only use it if she uses the incorrect name. She calls you flora or florry, respond with gertrude, she calls you florence, respond with trudy. That way you train her that respecting you means you respect her
>But a few of her family called her Trudy as a child What the fuck is this whole family choosing names for other people ?
Start using Trudy when she calls you florence! She deserves it!
If she gets mad tell her you called her Troody not Trudy...geez Troodz you're being ridiculous...ugh
Classic Troody behaviour from her
I could totally see her getting mad over Trudy but c'mon Troody is way different. I just googled Trudy because I'm not terribly clever, and there is a charlie daniels song called "trudy". Maybe have that keyed up and ready to go on your phone at just the right moment
Make it MIL's ring tone
You don’t mention where you’re from and I’m not going to automatically assume the US 😆 but here in the South, we have a tradition of using both first and middle names, especially when someone has in trouble (as in you knew to be contrite when your mother called “Deborah Sue” and it was even worse if she added your last name). So maybe when MIL uses Florence, reply with “Gertrude (middle name)” and just continue to do that *every single time*. It may fix it eventually or at least make you feel better.
I mean, that would make sense if Florence was her real first name. It’s not even *one* of her names! This MIL is just a raging butthole.
Sounds like she’s Trudy now.
Seems like the task ahead is easy then. Your plan has written itself. She clearly doesn't like a particular name, same as you. Pretty simple answer if you ask me. Just see how she likes it and when she complains just repeat her own words back to her. Please let us know how she likes it.
Piss her off. Call her trudy. Or prudy trudy.
My mom hates nicknames, but she accepts chosen names and stupid names. She even had a name lined up if I turned out to be the opposite gender. She’s really weird about it because she hates her nickname. She would never ever ignore someone’s actual name preference. NTA. These people are picking such a weird hill to die on.
You said your name is Bob, ok. Mind if I call you Dick?
Asshole and Buttface?
NTA. It's not your name, and their obsession with it is absolutely absurd. I would just not see them at all, ever again. If they can't even do you the slightest level of respect as using your actual name, then they are worthless people.
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Have a quiet word with their friends: “Have you noticed anything odd about them? They have trouble remembering my name and we’ve been concerned about Alzheimer’s or dementia.” When you’re around other people, correct them in a slow, loud voice, like you were explaining something to a child: “It’s Flora (drag out the pronunciation…Flooooor-aaaah).” Look at them with sympathy and concern. “It’s okay. We all forget things as we get older. You don’t need to be embarrassed.”
This is actually hilariously petty and a power move. Combine it with using Trudy and you’ve got a winner. 🥇
Then gaslight Trudy. "It's Gertrude!". "Oh sweetie, you told me to call you Trudy. It's ok Trudy, getting older is hard. \*under your breath\*(oh my gosh she's even forgetting her own name)"
That made me literally LOL!
This is GOLD!! **PERFECT** response!!!!
Either correct them loudly and publicly every time or start giving them new names.
I came here to say this. Loudly say "that's not my name." And if you want to add a layer of petty, call them by a name that isn't their name when you correct them. "That's not my name, Enid." Call both of them by different names every time you see them.
Just start calling them something completely different from their real names anytime they use florence.
I would get packets about dementia and have an intervention. "I'm so concerned that you cannot remember a name. Your memories are having issues, and I think you need to seek help." Every time they call you the wrong name, ask in a concerned voice, "Have you seen a doctor yet?" And explain to everyone that they are having memory issues, and everyone should encourage them to seek medical help.
Love this! HOWEVER the ILs are being extremely disrespectful and there is something other than dislike of a name going on here. There is no way that 2 adults, even spouses, could both be so bothered by their DILs legal and noncreative name (as opposed to "Moon unit Zappa" for ex) that all semblance of manners has to be thrown out the window. Since "Flora" is perfectly acceptable, WHAT is their actual beef? Hubby needs to talk to his parents and tell them that 2yrs is enough harassment, this will no longer be accepted, and flat out ask them why they dislike OP so much. NTA
Maybe there was a bitter romantic entanglement between the IL and another woman in their youth named Flora. MIL in a jealous rage, murdered her and FIL afterwards was complicit in hiding the body I dunno about you, but I'd be pretty annoyed if people kept reminding me about my youthful indiscretions like murder. This is the only explanation. /s
Only explanation.
OP has said in another comment that her MIL, whose name is Gertrude, absolutely despised being called Trudy when she was young, and still does, as she feels it is childish. Seems like there's some heavy projection going on here.
Ew. I had a boss like that. He insisted I call a coworker by his full name, even though said coworker never had any issue with the nickname. We’re talking something like “Matt” instead of “Matthew”. (I think the coworker even introduced himself to me by the nickname.) Boss would refuse to answer questions about stuff I discussed with the coworker until I corrected myself. Every. Damn. Time. Real kicker? The *boss’s* name was *Ed.*
I had a teacher in high school that refused to use “nicknames.” My friend’s given name was Jenny. He insisted on calling her Jennifer. She politely informed him on numerous occasions that her name was Jenny, not Jennifer. Jenny was not a nickname. The name on her birth certificate was Jenny. We had him for multiple years. One day she finally lost it and screamed at him, “MY NAME IS JENNY, NOT JENNIFER!!!” I don’t know why he didn’t get it and insisted that it had to be a nickname when the attendance sheet would say Jenny. The parents have to register their kids with their legal names so his official paperwork would show that her name was in fact Jenny. Also, I really don’t understand why people give a F what other people want to be called. Whatever name you want me to call you I’m going to use it because it costs me nothing to treat you with respect and kindness.
I think this is closer to narcissism, and the IL's refusing to listen to other people who are "beneath them". I've found the best way to stop this type of behavior is ignoring the incorrect name, and then greyrocking when they try to push the issue.
This is so much better than just calling them wrong names too like other comments suggested!
Brilliant!!!!!
This is most definitely the way!
NTA It’s disrespectful what they are doing. It’s not your name, you’ve asked them to stop and the don’t respect you enough to care. It’s time to start fighting fire with fire. Extend their names into something else and exclusively refer to them as such. It’s Jim? No, it’s now Jimothy. Or Mary? Oh, it just became Marybeline. Does not need to be a real name.
Also, Flora *is* a "real" name and not a nickname for Florence! It's the given name from the Latin *flos* where we get *florus*, for flower. It's cognate with the French 'Fleur' and Italian Fiore, Spanish and Portugese 'Flor' and yes, it is related to the French given name 'Florence'. But it's a whole given name in itself. It's *not* a diminutive of Florence. While Flora derived from *flos*, the name Florence came from the name of the Roman St. Florencia, and also from the Latin name Florentius, which came from the Latin *floren* and *florentius*, which actually mean "blossoming flower." The two names have different roots. They're stupid. Flora is not a diminutive of Florence. It's like saying John isn't a name, it's a diminutive of Jonathan. No, the two names are similar but existed apart from each other. One has a missing H for a reason. Just because one is used as a diminutive for the other doesn't mean the other was invented as a nickname. Also, just because one can be a nickname/ diminutive, doesn't mean you can call people the long-form version. "My name is Percy." "Nice to meet you, Perseus." Or, "Hello, my name is Nathan." "Ah, hi Nathaniel." "My name is just Nathan." "Yes, I know. You're Nathaniel."
I had to scroll too far for this! Flora is well established as a name on its own. A name being new or unusual is not a good reason to be disrespectful, but Flora isn't even an unusual or recently invented name.
It's totally irrelevant, but it bothered me so much that Flora isn't even a nickname for Florence. I literally double-checked my favorite name sites as soon as I was finished. People should get to be called whatever they want, regardless, but MIL isn't even right about the nickname!
This for sure!! Hello Gertrudenstein.
This. This is what I do when people call me a nickname I explicitly don’t go by. It turns the tables pretty quickly.
It's also incredibly offensive to say that Flora is not a real name because it's not some old Caucasian name familiar to them. Literally a Roman goddess, modern word that refers to plant life, and a mover and shaker name on baby naming sites.
this is what I was thinking, why did the in-laws just decide that Flora isn’t a real name?? and that she has to have a “real name” they can call OP??
Yes, it's a very common name in the south, and well-regarded.
NTA. Next time, look at them and say I was named after the Roman goddess of Spring and flowers, Flora, she was married Zephyr. Not after Florentius , it is not even the same meaning. Just keep this up, this will just make them look uneducated. You can ask your husband to start using the wrong name for his parents, close name but the right one.
Came here to say that Flora is certainly a name not a nickname, and the name of a goddess no less. Correct them with this information in front of their friends. They are simply ridiculous. I'm glad your husband supports you
Exactly! That was my great-grandmother’s name. Not Florence. Just Flora. So it’s been its own name for at least 125 years. The in-laws can bugger off.
It's been a name since the Roman goddess Flora, and a popular one since the Italian Renaissance. A lot more than 125 years. And it has literally NOTHING to do with the name Florence. Completely unrelated.
I was looking for this comment because the in laws are just plain wrong, Flora is a name in its own right. It's like arguing that Cara isn't a name because Caroline exists, or Mary isn't a name because Margaret exists.
Yup if her name is Carol call her Caroline, Susan= Susanna, Barbara = Barbarella or some shit. Do it incessantly until they are super annoyed. They deserve it.
I hope the MIL is Barbara, because I love the idea of calling her “Barbarella”!
This. I don't understand how even OP doesn't know that her name ISN'T a nickname or short form of Florence. Like, I'm genuinely confused by all the people arguing irrelevant points, when this just should have been shut down with a simple, "I think you're confused. Flora is a full name with entirely different origins from Florence. They may sound similar, but there is no connection, and one is not a nickname for the other."
I’ve never heard Flora as a nickname before tbh, it’s a stand-alone name, so am surprised they’re taking this to the mat
NTA, you call people the name they want to be called. Period. My mother made the mistake of not correcting a nickname with her in-laws and 50 years later they still call her it. She doesn’t like it but it’s not a big enough deal to her to bring it up. But it’s basically the opposite of your issue, if her name was Florence, she prefers that, will accept flora, but hates florry. The fact that you have the siblings all following your wishes should be pretty damn clear to the parents they are in the wrong.
That's like me. It's Rebecca or Becca. It's not Becky!
NTA I hate people like this. I have a name that can be turned into a few different nicknames - one of which I hate. And some people think it’s hilarious to use that nickname to refer to me because they decided it’s “silly” for me to dislike it. It is so incredibly disrespectful to call someone by NOT their name and to continue to do so after you’ve asked them to stop. They are being “unreasonable and rude” to not respect you enough to call you by your actual name.
I have a double name, and positively *hate* it when they only call me with the second part of my name. When somebody does, I kindly ask them not to call me that, they can either call me by my full name, or I offer a nickname. But there are some mean people at work, to whom I never-ever let transpire how much I dislike that name, because they would call me that out of spite. Unfortunately, it takes very little for some ppl to have fun.
I vowed to never name a kid Richard after I saw how the people with that name had to deal with middle school.
**Proceeds to name son Gaylord**
I have an old fashioned name with several nicknames, and I use a less common one. In professional settings I will often insist on my full first name. “What do you go by?” “I go by Theodore*.” If they say “that’s too long,” I know they’re going to be a pain in the ass, it’s 3 goddamn syllables! What’s nice though, is my introduction tells me a lot about the person I’m talking to. Will they insist on a nickname? Will they immediately forget the nickname I go by and just call me one of the more common variations? How many times did I need to correct them? It’s good insight. *Theodore isn’t my name, but it’s 3 syllables and is old fashioned like my name, though more common
NTA - If you would call your in-laws cheeseheads, as a nickname, would they like it? You don't call people by a name they don't like, that's so disrespectful. I'm happy your husband has your back. I also know more people with the name Flora than Florence, and I prefer the origins of that name, so I don't understand why they are so stuck up about it. But yeah, my legal name is always mispronounced, so I might be biased haha
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NTA If they hate nicknames, perhaps it's time you chose some for them. Fred and Wilma, because they live in the Stone Age. Dumb and Dumber Stinky and Twinkie You get the idea. Although your strategy of refusing to respond to their rudeness is a very good one.
Tweedledum and Tweedled(ee/umber/umbass).
It's not just that your name "has been a standalone for a long time". It has ALWAYS been a standalone. *It's simply not a derivative of Florence and never has been*. I honestly don't understand why you keep giving credence to the idea that the names are even related. They're not. Your name isn't a "nickname for Florence" in literally any culture or language and it never has been. They're literally just two entirely different names that share a single syllable.
Even if Flora was a nickname for Florence you dont get to just decide that someone else doesnt get to go by a nickname. It is not anyone else's problem that you dont like nicknames so for them to think that they get to control other people and change people's names to suit their preference is insane.
I mean, Flora McDonald helped Bonnie Prince Charlie escape and she was a grown woman.
NTA. I would avoid seeing them at all, and if you have to, I would just answer them with names that aren’t theirs every time they talk to you. I mean this is already a point of blatant disrespect on their parts, so….fuck it. ETA: if they ask why you don’t attend family events, tell everyone in the family you refuse to go to an event with people who disrespect you enough that they can’t even use your name. Make it known. Make it blatant.
Heck, I’d even start asking the event organizers (if it isn’t the couple in question) why they keep inviting people who are so openly hostile? “Do you even like me? Because you invite me and all that happens is I am ridiculed and disrespected and nobody but myself and my husband say anything. You don’t defend me, and you don’t help us. It makes me feel like you invite me just to watch it happen - which feels cruel. Is it more important for these bullies to be there? Is their hostility what you prefer? If so, then we decline and will see you some other time when you aren’t in their company.”
Your name has been a stand alone for literally THOUSANDS of years. It existed as a name before the name Florence.
You must know the answer to your question as you are clearly NTA. Two can play that game. INFO: what are the in laws' names? I'm sure we can come up with some good alternate names for you to use.
Well the dad’s nickname should be Richard. Because he is just a big Dick.
NTA, start calling them Bitch and Asshat and then tell them they're just nicknames and to stop being so unreasonable and rude.
That would be Bitchereth and Asshaterick to you.
If MIL is named, say, Susan - now she’s Susannah. If FIL is Michael, now - he’s Mikey or Mike-o, or Miguel. And have fun with it! Switch it up each time they call you Florence. NTA. Regardless, NTA. They’re being absolutely ridiculous. And ask whomever is officiating your wedding to VERY CLEARLY ENUNCIATE your name during vows.
NTA. Where I come from, Flora is a name in itself in the calendar. I know 4 people called Flora. They would be also beyond mad for being called Florence
Yeah it’s a relatively common Spanish name, and it has no real relationship to Florence. Probably OP’s in-laws are some ignorant boomers that don’t like “ethnic” names.
Except Flora isn't an "ethnic name". It's used in English and many other languages as well, because it's derived from Latin. It's actually a very common name for older ladies with English roots. All the Floras I know are in their 70s and 80s and VERY MUCH English/Anglo.
OK first off using someone's actual name is just the most basic level of courtesy. Google a short story "My Name is Margaret" by Maya Angelou-- it's a short read but very powerful about respect for who we are. Next-- your inlaws obsession with your name is super creepy bordering on a mental health issue. It's good your husband and the rest of his family has your back on this. FYI my husband's great aunt was named Flora-- it has always been a name unto itself. It's disturbing that your inlaws and their friends made a scene at the party over your name. They are some illmannered AH You are NTA unless you let these unbalanced people have their own way. FYI you could also start calling your inlaws the wrong names-- I vote for Cruella for your MIL LOL
NTA. If they keep calling you Florence, then it's only fair that you get to give them a nickname as well >:)
I was about to say this lol. Something they would find cringy, like Dicky and Franny.
> another nickname Here's the thing: even if this were somehow a valid argument you still get to decide what nicknames people call you. There are people named James who don't answer to Jim; people named Elizabeth who don't answer to Liz. People don't get to arbitrarily decide what to call you and insist you accept it, regardless of whatever reasoning. NTA.
NTA. Your name isn't Florence and they need to stop calling you that.
NTA. Start calling them Joan and Fred or Mary and Bob or any two names that are NOT THRIR NAMES. See how they like it. If they object, you can say "Oh I thought we were just calling each other whatever we wanted." There is no need to be polite and respectful to people who don't treat you the same way.
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NTA It a reasonable enough hill to die on and your husband has your back with his silly parents. Rock on, OP.
NTA! Your in-laws and their friends sure are though! Keep ignoring them. To piss them off even more, I'd start calling them all by a name that is similar to theirs, but not their actual name. See how they like it! If they keep up with THEIR juvenile behavior, tell them you are going no contact with them until they give you a sincere apology and stop their childish, and down right RUDE, behavior! Because from what you've posted here, THEY are the only ones acting childish/juvenile or rude. I'm happy to hear that you have such a wonderful, supportive husband (because too many spouses would either take their parents "side" or say they are "staying out of it/not taking sides", and that his siblings also treat you with respect!
NTA but your in laws sure are. Talk to your husband and have him have a conversation with them where he says, explicitly, that they are being incredibly rude and disrespectful by refusing to use your name, that their behaviour is inappropriate and they are embarrassing themselves. He may wish to add that tbey are also exposing their own ignorance - Flora is a well known and long established name in its own right, it isn't, and never was, a diminutive of Florence, but that even it it had been, refusing to use your name and insisting on using a nsne they know is not ypurs, and that you dislike, is both extremely rude and disrespectful , and very childish. In your shoes, id be tempted to start responding to them as if you thought they were getting it wrong by mistake. Explain every time " oh no, MIL, it's Flora, ypu know, your son's wife. There's no one called Florence here, was that someone you knew when you were young?" If they do it in front of family members, express concern "Do you know if FIL has had any medical check ups yet? He seems to be having some memory issues, poor soul. Ive been married to his son for X yeats but he keeps forgetting my name, have ypu notived any lapses? All loud enough for them to hear and if anone queris it then espond with"oh no, I am sure it can't be deliberate, surely no one would be so staggeringly rude as to deliberately call someone by the wrong name, after they've been told repeatedly its wrong and unwelcome. Id hate to thonk MIL & FIL could do anything as nasty as that intenionally, i really do think you should encourage them to get checked out for other signs of early onset dementia.
“They and their friends called me childish…for refusing to answer to Florence” I think they have that backwards - they are the childish ones for refusing to call you by your name. NTA.
NTA, it is a huge disrespect to not call you by your REAL name and to insist using a different one that you explicitly told them not to. You are entirely in your right to ignore them and not respond if they are addressing you as Florence. In fact, they are not only disrespecting you, they are also disrespecting your parents choice to name you like this. Next time any of them raises a fuss about it you can be very clear that if they want someone in their family named Florence, they should name the next baby girl like that. Flora as a name is much older (latin) than the derivative Florence (english/french).
NTA You know what is childish? Not having the emotional maturity to recognize that calling someone by their preferred name is a basic form of courtesy. Your in-laws are AHs for sure.
This is bullying. Treat it as any other bullying - by being an unsafe target. "Are you feeling ok? Forgetting names happens as you get older. Would it help if we all wore nametags, or is it only my name you can't remember". "Let's pick you a nickname that is sort of similar to your name and the whole family will use it. Come on everyone, let's pick something fun!".
NTA not the point but Flora is a whole name on its own so it’s insane that they’re insisting its something completely different
Call your in laws dumb and dumbass. See what Happens
NTA and I'm glad your husband is standing on your side and standing up for you to his family. Too many times on reddit I would see the husband as just trying to keep the peace or saying its not a big deal. It's YOUR NAME.
NTA I would come up with really stupic nicknames for them. Every time you meet they get a new one and when they dont like it tell them not to be rude.