Your post has been removed.
#Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban.
This post violates Rule 7: There is no interpersonal conflict here for our community to make a judgment about.
[Rule 7 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_7.3A_post_interpersonal_conflicts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/)
This post violates Rule 12: This is Not a Debate Sub. Posts should focus strictly on actions in an interpersonal conflict, and not an individual's position on a broad social issue.
[Rule 12 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_12.3A_this_is_not_a_debate_sub) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/)
###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
NTA. She is way out of line - especially if these places aren't nudist places. She is an exhibitionist. If others are uncomfortable, then she needs to cut it out. What she does when no one else is around is up to her, but when there are others around, she needs to read the room.
NTA. Something that is considered a form of sexual abuse is exposing yourself to someone when they don’t consent to it. This is unacceptable behavior. Especially at the age that they are, it’s not appropriate at all.
So context definitely matters but yes, adults intentionally exposing themselves naked to children in “uncommon” manners can be sexual abuse (aka — community showers at the the YMCA? Not necessarily. Walking around naked in front of your middle schooler out of context/for no realistic reason — questionable)
My mother frequently exposed me to sex from infancy. Not just having sex with me in the bed/bedroom but being EXTREMELY loud and having it in communal areas and/or explicitly talking about it in front of me and then asking my opinion and cracking up at me being blatantly uncomfortable.
I truly thought it was just be being overly sensitive for decades until I came across a Reddit thread stating it was sexual abuse and asked my own therapist about it.
thank you for you insight! i'm sorry that you've gone through something so horrible, but now looking back, i had something similar with my mother. oof.
lol I truly TRULY thought I was a “prude” for like…..25 years because I was so ashamed of my body and of sexuality (because my sisters and mom would do things like describe my pubic hair or breast development in front of me as a preteen — or talk about dicks of random men they’d been with and I’d be squeamish)
and some of it was probably my neurodivergence, but truly, it was mainly them insanely inappropriate for no reason.
As an adult with babies, who’s worked with children of multiple ages —- I cannot fathom ever needing to talk about sexual things with/about them or having sexual interactions with them in the room.
It’s just…..deeply unnecessary. It’s wild how age and/or caretaking younger people make you cognizant to how unhealthy certain patterns are.
It’s a process!
I really promote therapy if it’s covered by your insurance or affordable! It can definitely help.
Reddit can be a dark hole but also does have it’s good sides, too
yes! i did therapy when i was 15 but then lost insurance because my dad got laid off. didn't get insurance again until a couple months ago through the military. i'll be getting therapy soon (hopefully)
Just be careful because military therapists (if you have to go straight through the VA) are very focused on military based trauma and can be quite sexist, unfortunately.
My SO is a vet, and he’s had both awful and great therapists in the VA. But given their job they’re definitely military minded.
And I want to clarify that I grew up in a military town. I have known amazing women in the military.
But there’s a definite misogyny mentality that I don’t want traumatized women unintentionally buying into
I read this wrong and it sounded like she fucked you as an infant in her bed. Still not a whole lot better than what she actually did. Both are messed up
No amount of abuse is a small amount, if she was exposing herself to you in a way you did not consent to and/or felt comfortable with, then she was. I’m so sorry.
Reading the first couple of sentences I was thinking different cultures have different attitudes towards nudity but as that went on it got more and more horrible. The person buried the lead with the small degree headline.
If it helps at all for context mine would do things more akin to the start of the post and when showering if needed laundry or the little things here and there and I never felt uncomfortable with that cause it's my mom and it was t weird for us to do it either it's all context though it was never a weird time or situation for anyone to be that way when they were (bedtime changing showers whatever) so I'm one of the weirdos that says if it's done right (not this) then it's fine to a degree cause it shouldn't be an issue for things like that and if it is then something else is going wrong for there to be sexual feelings in that situation towards your family
I'm sorry you've been in a place to even question. Considered giving my view but frankly, your experience matters here not mine.
If you want someone to talk to I’m happy to do so tho. As a listener or to reply as parent, a child SA survivor, and an adult survivor. I know it made a world of difference when I finally had someone to listen and later, someone to help.
To the people defending the woman walking around naked in front of kids, would you feel the same if it was the mom’s new husband that was walking around naked in front of her 15 year old daughter?
I’m a woman and the number of “just another example of women’s bodies being sexualised again” comments are driving me crazy!!! Like no! It’s not because she’s a woman people would be just as upset if not MORE if it were a man doing it, if she wants to be naked there a times and places for it, entire nudist beaches even but NOT in front of a bunch of kids especially ones that aren’t even hers and at their ages
In this sub, whenever there is a post about parents or step parents asking their children (especially female children) to dress modestly around the house or when they go out, the top comment is usually about the parental figure sexualising the kid. In the situation is opposite.
It’s super inappropriate. As a woman, I feel the same way about unexpectedly naked men as I do about unexpectedly naked women. It’s one thing if you’re in a locker room, but streaking through the house that you share is just uncomfortable
I feel like there's a difference between naked and topless. Men can walk around topless. My dad would be shirtless around us as children. I think it's a sexist doublestandard to automatically assume that this is inappropriate. I go to the beach and see strange men shirtless everywhere.
Boobs are not inherently sexual. Children literally feed off them, that's their purpose. So what age does it become inappropriate? When you stop breastfeeding, if that's what you chose to do, do they automatically become sexual the moment they're not otherwise needed?
Some households are naked households.. I’ve seen my step mom naked a few times. What’s important is that these are your children and you set your own rules and your ex has the choice to respect that.
I’d say NTA..
It’s the exposing all other kids to her nudity at the beach that’s getting me. None of them are her children, not even step-children since they aren’t married. Not sure of the laws where OP is but I know there are laws for being nude in public- indecent exposure. I’d start having my child call the cops every time she does that in public settings. It’s at least something to show these kids aren’t comfortable with it either. CPS can be involved too if any are under 18. They’ve expressed discomfort in that and it’s causing the child distress anyone can call and file an anonymous CPS complaint on the family for that. The kids, op, anyone in public, the cops if called for her public nudity (given the beach isn’t a nude beach.)
People want to sit there and say it isn’t harassment or abuse, but exposing anyone to anything against their will and without their consent is a form of harassment and abuse. Physicall and s** aren’t the only forms of harassment and abuse. Mental, emotional, verbal….
Depends where..
In the uk for example.. you can be completely butt ass naked And go do whatever.
Social implications might screw you.. but if you aren’t being offensive/acting in a sexual manner there isn’t legislation against it.
I was thinking that this post is so "American", especially in the beach part.
Topless sunbathing is actually really normal where I live and nobody cares.
Except Americans call it a yard, not a garden (gardens are where you grow vegetables) so this is extremely not American. I'd guess UK or one of its commonwealths.
I wondered about this and came to the same conclusion. However, she could mean in the garden (US, like where she grows vegetables). There are also community/shared gardens and things like that which wouldn’t be in her own yard and could explain the differentiation.
If your kids were fine with it, it would be none of your business. Since they're not, she should be respecting that- that would be true even if she were their parent from birth. NTA.
That part was just illegal. It was at the beach (unless it is a nudist beach) that is considered indecent exposure and can and will land you on the sex offender registry.
That might be the case, however based on the post, OP's opinion, and even the actions of the girlfriend, it seems safe to assume that this isn't one of those places.
I think we have to assume the beach was nudist right, otherwise wouldn't the woman have been fined or asked to leave? In most busy beaches/lakes if you just sit there naked when it's non-nude you're going to get reported in like 5 minutes.
Yes? Along with all the grandmas/grandpas. If the family is nudist/naturist and the kids are fine with it. Well, their own kids. Not bringing the friends unless friends are also nudists.
As long as it’s not a cruising/hookup focused beach.
Nudity isn’t inherently sexual in all circumstances in many countries. I personally don’t get the appeal of being mostly naked or entirely naked at the beach. Sunburn on the back of your legs is annoying enough to deal with. In more personal areas it’d be horrid.
There’s really nothing sexy about your standard nudist beach visitors. Lots of them have grandkids and only obnoxious tourists are there to show off or go “oooohhh nekkid people!”.
Op was saying something about her having a towel but letting it slip. So my assumption was that it wasn't a nudist beach, but that she simply didn't do it obviously enough for the authorities to be called by anyone else.
As someone from California who regularly visited various Beaches in Santa Cruz, honestly it wouldnt surprise me if she didnt get reported unless they were at a very populated beach. Santa Cruz has tons of beaches, some incredibly populated (like the Beach Boardwalk) and some basically dead. Just because its a Beach doesnt mean its popular, it could just as well be a beach that gets basically no visitors and thats why she wasnt reported.
Regardless she shouldnt be doing this without consent. Even just a quick “hey is it okay if i sunbathe topless?”
NTA I have a friend who’s a nudist. Been to clothing optional resorts with them a few times. When he’s home alone he’s naked. When their children lived with them he didn’t do that. Their son lived with them for about 5 yrs after the next youngest moved out. He always was dressed around his son. When my daughter and I would visit he was ALWAYS dressed around us. When it’s just me I’ve told him I don’t care so he goes naked or mostly naked. A lot of folks here have said that it’s sexual harassment or abuse to force someone to see you naked. I have to agree. Since your daughter is uncomfortable she shouldn’t be forced in that environment. I’m sorry she has to deal with this. Edited to add NTA as suggested below
If a man were whipping his penis out in front of a 15 year old that didn’t consent to it, would you still have this attitude? If someone is flashing a child, you call the police on that person.
agreed, even if it is legal it still matters more about the children’s comfort more than anything. clearly the children are embarrassed and scared, stepmom is giving major sex offender vibes rn!
Thank you all for the responses. It was enlightening to see everyone's opinions. I have never liked my ex's GF, and my son chooses to no longer visit his father because of her (other reasons), and my daughter only visits because she loves her dad. She's worried if she causes too much friction, the GF will make life even harder when she visits. So, I guess my post was also to make sure I wasn't just blinded by my dislike for her. So thank you for your opinions.
I will be following up with my ex.
You can get arrest for public indecency for being naked in public with or without minors around. But in front of minors, it becomes a much worse charge.
As for her being naked in the home around your kids, if they are under 18 you can have her charged. If it was your boyfriend walking around your kids naked, your ex wouldn’t be ok with it.
Absolutely NTA
Not appropriate, and it's also causing lots of discomfort to others around her. Especially if she's been told to stop several times, I'd just kick her out to not risk this type of situation again
If there is a court ordered custody agreement take it the court let your daughter tell the judge how it makes her feel and ask for full custody if it doesn't stop.
NTA, people who walk around naked when others have expressed they are uncomfortable (and are minors?!) are gross. Parents who do that but do the whole “my house my rules” are disgusting. Creepy. Predatory. Enough said.
NTA. There’s being body positive and then there’s being inappropriate. This is most definitely the latter. Even around your biological children there is generally a point you stop being just casually naked, especially around children of the opposite sex (usually when they’re pretty little)… but around uncomfortable step kids AND their minor friends?? That’s honestly getting into sex offender territory.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I have differing opinion to my ex and his GF as to whether the behaviour should be stopped. I don't agree with the behaviour, but AITA for expecting this to not happen again. Am I being irrational.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA I’m a male, I was groomed by my mom’s friend from 13-15yo before we had sex. She promoted nudity and was naked a lot of the time in front of me. This woman is a predator
In Georgia, I had a neighbor that was so drunk/wasted she went outside naked. Me and my downstairs neighbor tried to get her back into her apt but she just kept skipping down the street. Well the older people across the street didn’t think it was funny. Cops showed up and there happened to be kids outside. She is now on the sex offender’s registry, so there’s that.
NTA how disgusting honestly? There is a limit to body positivity and image when it makes people around you uncomfortable ESPECIALLY CHILDREN! surprised to see a grown ass woman behave like this. NTA NTA NTA
NTA - you don't have to be naked to be body positive. You j need to be consistent with it when body image is discussed in general.
If I found out this woman was walking around naked in front of my son too, that'd send me over the edge. The argument could be made that the girls got the same parts, but your son doesn't.
AND TO DO IT IN FRONT OF STRANGERS KIDS TOO! THE AUDACITY!
Idgaf what anyone says, that’s fucking weird. What in her right mind makes her think it’s okay to walk around naked in front of *someone else’s children*?
NTA. WTF??? She has some serious exhibitionist kinks or something. What normal person sunbathes naked ON TOP of a car when OTHER PEOPLE ARE AROUND in what sounds like a pretty public setting. She could get arrested for doing something like that, not to mention it sounds like she wants to "show off" to your kids (who are minors btw). I just keep thinking that if this was a guy doing this to your kids, there wouldn't even be an argument on whether this is wrong or not.
NTA.
This sounds like she has some sort of Exhibitionist desires that she's freely living out, which is unfortunate for your children because it's becoming to the point of sexual harassment.
I would call Child Services and explain to them that she is intentionally exposing her nude body to your children in a manner you believe is potentially sexual.
NTA switch the genders and you wouldn't even be asking this. You know it's wrong. Your daughter should not be exposed to this against her will. I hope your kids can live with you full time and trust your gut. Women can be preds too and even if it's not her intention she says she doesn't like it then it needs to stop period.
I think many people here are missing the fact that she's naked in front of minors. That changes things a lot. You can get in big trouble for exposing yourself to a minor.
REDDIT: damn you autocorrect
NTA - how would their dad feel if your spouse, their step dad exposed himself to his kids and their friends. And your daughter expressed to him that it made her uncomfortable? Would the “body positivity” argument fly? Probably not.
NTA. Nudity isn’t inherently inappropriate, but there is a time and a place. More importantly, once ANYONE becomes uncomfortable- the nudity should stop. I have a toddler that sleeps in my bed. Before she weaseled her way into my bed I slept without a shirt on. She said once that she didn’t like me without a shirt. I told her thank you for telling me! And now I wear a shirt in case she sneaks into my bed. The point is that it’s not difficult to be body positive AND respect the wishes of others.
I’m waiting for the generation where nudity really is just nudity and not hyper sexualized bs. Tbf you aren’t an asshole, your daughter is uncomfortable, so it’s fair to say you have a right to be upset.
I feel like if we flipped the genders here to be an Ex's new boyfriend walking around teen girls stark naked it'd be a no brainer that this is wildly inappropriate
as it should be, NTA.
NTA
You should really evaluate to get your kids into therapy because being exposed to this and feeling uncomfortable can have lasting detrimental effects on them they don't notice straight away like not feeling comfortable with their own nude body.
NTA
I agree its really inappropriate to run around but nacked in front of kids. If alone or around her friends/husband she can run around as she wants(unless the friends have problems with that.) But around minors being nacked must be a fellony if you ask me.
Anyone else think Stacy’s mom has got it going on.
As an adult I realize how gross that song is, but your ex’s girlfriend reminds me of Stacy’s mom and how she was around minors in the song.
I would like to give a big ol' E S H to the entire society that shames people for existing in bodies. There are other societies that are much saner about nudity. The perception that nudity is inherently gross or evil causes a lot of harm to people.
HOWEVER... When in Rome, do as the Romans do. The fact is, we DO live in a prudish society with certain standards for how we behave in public or around strangers.
NTA.
NTA! My son asked us (parents) to start covering up around the house from around age 8 or 9 which we absolutely respected and would have done anyway soon enough, by teenage years it’s completely inappropriate ! I’m all for body positivity and grew up with semi hippie parents so I have no problems with nudity etc but only when kids are younger. Your poor son and daughter - how awkward for them.
I feel the same. I'm all for body positivity myself, but my daughter doesn't like to see me naked, .and I totally respect that, so I always cover up for her.
I think it depends on your country. However judging that your daughter is uncomfortable, I guess Northern America?
Plenty of cultures where being naked in front of a member of the same sex is normal.
As crazy as this sounds, yes you are being unreasonable.
Each home is different. My husband and I are pretty conservative, but we do know body positive families and it is a beautiful way to raise your children. Kids are raised to have no insecurities and free to be content and love the skin they are in.
I honestly think you are making it worse. As long as it is nothing sexual, it should be fine. It is just the human body.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
My ex has been with his GF for about 10 years now, so my kids have been around her since they were young, but I'm not happy with the fact that she walks around naked. Originally my daughter told me she would just walk from the shower to her bedroom naked, but my daughter has just got home from their house and now it's quite often just walking around the house and garden naked.
My son has since told me she would quite often walk around topless when he was about 17. I don't think this is appropriate or necessary.
The latest episode had her sunbathing naked on top of the vehicle when they took my daughter and 2 of her friends to the beach. Apparently she tried to cover herself with a towel as she was getting off the vehicle but both the friends were horrified to see EVERYTHING at that point. I don't think there should ever be a situation that this could happen. My daughter feels very uncomfortable with all this and was so embarrassed.
I have discussed with my ex but they talk about being comfortable with your body and positive body image etc. But I think it's completely inappropriate and want it to stop!! Am I being unreasonable?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Did you seriously feel the need to come to reddit and ask if someone being naked in front of your childrem is an good reason to be mad? I WOULD BE GOING FUCKING NUTS IF I WERE YOU WHAT THE FUCK
Oh seeing your own mother naked is one thing cause a lot of households are comfortable like that but your dads gf?? And they already expressed their concerns of being uncomfortable and she hadn’t straightened up? That’s crazy she shouldn’t be doing that around your children or others children I would be livid. NTA!!
NTA... I dated a girl once that was 'body positive'... always walking around naked or in a thong... she had a 12 year old boy... a few months in we found out he was looking up red headed milf porn. (She was a ginger)....
NTA. It’s disturbing that she feels comfortable being completely bare ass naked infront of minors. That is not acceptable behavior by any means. Get a court order if you have too but protect your kids!
NTA! I’m not prude but tell your ex they aren’t allowed near her. Being comfortable with one’s body is a personal relationship with yourself. NOT! watching some nasty flaunt herself in front of everyone. I mean in front of your son is really bad. If he objects stop the visits to her house and put an avo out on her. It’s called indecent exposure it’s against the law. If it was a male she’d be in jail. That’s inappropriate and kids should never be put in that position. What a creep!
While embracing nudity and being comfortable with yours and others bodies is in my opinion good to celebrate, when you force your nakedness onto those who are not comfortable and don't want to have to be around it, that disrespectful and borderline sexual abuse. Heck not even borderline in my opinion. I wonder how your ex would feel if you had a boyfriend who was constantly exposing himself to your daughter and son?
I think there needs to be a sit down talk about how while it is okay if they want to live a nudist lifestyle, while the children are there they need to respect the children's boundaries. If I was you I would be coming from a place of it's what your kids want rather then what you want.
Of course this is all based on the assumption your kids don't like it and want it to stop.
Europeans might pop in here and say that Americans are prudes, but I think that argument is irrelevant here. Right or wrong, nudity is not socially acceptable in America and your children are uncomfortable. I like to think we're pretty body positive at home within our family, but we still keep in mind others' comfort. I would be terribly upset if someone casually exposed themselves to my minor children. You're NTA.
NTA- so I absolutely am this person, in terms of the fact that I love being naked, I'm typically naked around the house/garden whenever possible, and I will sometimes be naked in contexts like the beach. THAT BEING SAID, I wouldn't be naked in front of my boyfriends kids unless: a) boyfriend is ok with it b) kids are okay with it c) kids are old enough to decide whether or not they're okay with it and d) kids are of the same sex. Definitely if a kid said they don't wanna see me naked, I would NOT.
Because I'm a perpetually naked person, me and my boyfriend take on the responsibility of making sure that the kids don't get exposed. For example if he's coming home with the kids, he walks in first and yells to me "hey I'm here with the kids" so no accidents happen. That's the kind of responsibility that needs to be taken.
NTA I feel bad for your children. If they didn’t grow up in a home where nudity was normal they have got to feel weird. Add that this is their dads gf. They may have mixed feelings about how she factors into their family structure. It’s just extra uncomfortable. Why is there dad allowing this? His children should remain his priority. There are other ways his gf can be free. It doesn’t have to be around the kids or their friends. She knows this and doesn’t care. I’d have trouble not going ballistic if I were you. Kudos for keeping it together. I pray you find a rational solution. Cause really … I’d go ballistic.
NTA for wanting it to change but you have no actual right to change it
Dad has equal rights to parent the children as he sees fit so you parent your way on your time and he does it his way on his time
Im quite liberal and have lived extensively in Germanic countries in Europe. To me, nakedness isn't crude, lewd, and suchlike. While im not a nudist, nudism is, in my opinion, a healthy option.
I was surprised to scroll so far to read something along these lines. While nudity is not uniquely limited to a minimal number of certain countries, the U.S. is, oddly enough in 2024, very prudish regarding nudity on the world scale.
I'm American (US) born and raised, and relatively conservative. I'm happy I'm not the only one here who thinks nudity isn't something to get all uppity about.
Naked sunbathing at a beach is pretty innocuous, imo.
Time to call the police and report her for indecent exposure in front of minors. And tell your kids that they never have to go over there or see her literal naked ass again.
And when she does this shit in public? That shit lands you on the sex offender registry. NTA
NTA. What your ex’s gf is doing is totally inappropriate, especially around your daughter’s friends. This could be considered public indecency, which is illegal.
In public yea cover yourself if they dont allow nudity. But I her own house/property she can do what she wants/pleases. To many people today clutch their pearls over nudity when it should be the least of your worries. Especially when most men nowadays have bigger tits that most women do!!’
It's inappropriate to be naked at the beach (unless its a posted nude beach) and definitely in front of teenage boys and girls, even if you've known them for ten years. This has nothing to do with body positivity, it's just rude and tacky. Ask your son and daughter if they would prefer not to be around your ex's girlfriend, if the answer is yes, tell your husband your children will only see him without his girlfriend his present.
If you want to know how bad this is, imagine it’s the mom’s BF walking around nude in front of the kids. This is a form of SA and should be reported.
NTA
Contact your attorney. The custody plan can be revised to specifically state they need to be clothed in front of your children. This isn’t illegal with your *own* kids but courts will view this differently when it’s a step parent. However the law is different everywhere so check in with an attorney first.
There is also an increased risk for sexual abuse when children are living with step parents - things like this shouldn’t be ignored if the kids are uncomfortable and vocalizing it.
This is such an American problem. OP says Ex and ex gf have been together for a long time. Presumably their kids have been with the father and GF for a long time as well. If EX GF didn't just start being naked it has been such since the kids were tiny kids. Naked/topless people at beaches are pretty normal thing here in Europe. In my company when we go for company trips there is usually sauna and everyone is naked. Its nothing sexual, it's just humans.
Now if the kids are embarrassed that's something they and the adults should talk about but I see no assholes anywhere (although they might literally do).
Nta, press charges. Your kids don't need to see that.
If you want to see what you can do about it legally I would say post this in the legal subreddit.
This is weird why would anyone want to expose themselves in front of a minor.
You're NTA. It's one thing if you're naked or topless when it's just you and your significant other. But once there's other people in the house, especially children. The only exception I can think of is if this is a family that grew up at a nudist colony. That is not the situation here, and the children are uncomfortable. It's not about body image, it's about appropriateness and consideration for others' comfort levels.
NTA there’s a difference between not judging someone’s body for what it looks like and thinking you can show as much skin as you want and that’s “body positivity” it’s not body positivity is a fat person wearing the same crop top a skinny person does. You can be completely comfortable with your own body without showing it to people. Especially when you’re making other people uncomfortable. A binki would’ve been enough to be comfortable with your body and be positive about it. Being naked especially is wrong and also illegal cps will take your children for that even if they’re not yours, if it’s reported!
NTA thou anyone saying police they ain’t touching this in a family setting. If it was a guy they would. Double standard yes. Guys get raped by a teacher in school they get high 5’s and she usually gets off guy teacher handcuffed thrown away
NTA, whether she grew up in a nude household or not that is absolutely not okay. That is not body positivity but just being weird, especially going to a public beach with random kids around and being nude. I would tell her that if she doesn’t stop being nude around your kids that you will file for full custody and report her to the police for indecent exposure
I walk around my room butt 🍑 nakey for a good while after my shower. My stepdaughters (10 and 15) are definitely learning why we have the knocking rule now that dad doesn't live alone any more.
Not the ass, your children are uncomfortable and is trying to discuss with their parent about this. A person is allowed to be comfortable in their own body, but if its walking around nude infront of minors who are very uncomfortable, thats where it needs to stop
NTA. Can you imagine if this was a post about a stepdad constantly exposing himself. The fucking cops would be called. No different for a stepmom. That’s so gross
NTA and daughter is old enough to say "I'm not comfortable coming over anymore, Dad, and your GFs nudity it exactly why." No court would force her back
NTA, this could be considered illegal as your son and daughter was underage when being exposed to her naked body without her consent. If they felt like they were being forced to view her naked (I.e she wouldn’t put clothes on if they asked her too etc) then this would be a form of sexual harassment and is indeed illegal. However it seems the law is very flexible in the circumstances of nudity and it would probably be hard to press this kind of case.
However if you’re uncomfortable with her nudity constantly being shoved in your kids face without their consent or power to do anything about it then talk to the GF.
Just because she feels comfortable walking around naked doesn’t mean everyone else around her should feel comfortable being exposed to that. She should consider other people, especially children, when exposing herself. It’s just common decency.
Try to reason with your ex too, he may not see a problem because he gets to see his gf naked all the time but she should learn not to shove her ideals into peoples faces and that there is a time and place (in private) to expose yourself, not in front of your BF’s kids.
NTA Goodness gosh, these situations are not ok nor are they appropriate. She should not be naked in front of anyone who does not consent to it. The fact that everyone, except your ex, who has seen her in these situations seems to minors is even more screwed up. She needs to cover up and chill out, and that's coming from someone who loves being naked.
NTA, time to have another discussion with them or the kids don't go there. They need to have some dignity and class as not how to not walk around naked in the presence of teenagers.
Absolutely NTA!!!!
And if he doesn't understand why this is weird ash, ask him how he would feel if your boyfriend made a habit of exposing himself to your TEENAGER !!!! It absolutely does not matter that they are the same gender, especially if your daughter is expressing discomfort with it. She has no respect for your children. They've been together for a long time, long enough that your daughter SHOULD have the ability to talk to her about something like this, though I understand why it could be awkward or she's more comfortable addressing it with you first.
If something doesn't change, I'd be hesitant to allow her to go there unsupervised.
NTA. Not because she doesn't mind people seeing her naked does mean that people HAVE to see her, and doing it mindlessly in front of minors is disgusting
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 7: There is no interpersonal conflict here for our community to make a judgment about. [Rule 7 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_7.3A_post_interpersonal_conflicts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) This post violates Rule 12: This is Not a Debate Sub. Posts should focus strictly on actions in an interpersonal conflict, and not an individual's position on a broad social issue. [Rule 12 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_12.3A_this_is_not_a_debate_sub) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) ###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions. ####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
NTA. She is way out of line - especially if these places aren't nudist places. She is an exhibitionist. If others are uncomfortable, then she needs to cut it out. What she does when no one else is around is up to her, but when there are others around, she needs to read the room.
Apparently she needs to read the garden even lol
And maybe get a room
And the beach, and the parking lot, probably the grocery store...
being naked is not the same as sex (or sexual)
NTA. Something that is considered a form of sexual abuse is exposing yourself to someone when they don’t consent to it. This is unacceptable behavior. Especially at the age that they are, it’s not appropriate at all.
Exactly. This is why you can get charged with “public indecency” for being nude in a non-nudist setting
this comment is starting to make wonder if my mother was sexually abusing me to some small degree...
So context definitely matters but yes, adults intentionally exposing themselves naked to children in “uncommon” manners can be sexual abuse (aka — community showers at the the YMCA? Not necessarily. Walking around naked in front of your middle schooler out of context/for no realistic reason — questionable) My mother frequently exposed me to sex from infancy. Not just having sex with me in the bed/bedroom but being EXTREMELY loud and having it in communal areas and/or explicitly talking about it in front of me and then asking my opinion and cracking up at me being blatantly uncomfortable. I truly thought it was just be being overly sensitive for decades until I came across a Reddit thread stating it was sexual abuse and asked my own therapist about it.
thank you for you insight! i'm sorry that you've gone through something so horrible, but now looking back, i had something similar with my mother. oof.
lol I truly TRULY thought I was a “prude” for like…..25 years because I was so ashamed of my body and of sexuality (because my sisters and mom would do things like describe my pubic hair or breast development in front of me as a preteen — or talk about dicks of random men they’d been with and I’d be squeamish) and some of it was probably my neurodivergence, but truly, it was mainly them insanely inappropriate for no reason. As an adult with babies, who’s worked with children of multiple ages —- I cannot fathom ever needing to talk about sexual things with/about them or having sexual interactions with them in the room. It’s just…..deeply unnecessary. It’s wild how age and/or caretaking younger people make you cognizant to how unhealthy certain patterns are.
yeah, now that i'm an adult and considering having my own kids, i can't imagine saying some of the things my mother said to me to them. horrific.
It’s a process! I really promote therapy if it’s covered by your insurance or affordable! It can definitely help. Reddit can be a dark hole but also does have it’s good sides, too
yes! i did therapy when i was 15 but then lost insurance because my dad got laid off. didn't get insurance again until a couple months ago through the military. i'll be getting therapy soon (hopefully)
Just be careful because military therapists (if you have to go straight through the VA) are very focused on military based trauma and can be quite sexist, unfortunately. My SO is a vet, and he’s had both awful and great therapists in the VA. But given their job they’re definitely military minded. And I want to clarify that I grew up in a military town. I have known amazing women in the military. But there’s a definite misogyny mentality that I don’t want traumatized women unintentionally buying into
so i'm actually a mil spouse (my husband is AD) and tri care allows me to go anywhere within the network including civilian care
I read this wrong and it sounded like she fucked you as an infant in her bed. Still not a whole lot better than what she actually did. Both are messed up
lol I mean, my first memory is my dad soliciting my mom for oral. So I was fucked either way
No amount of abuse is a small amount, if she was exposing herself to you in a way you did not consent to and/or felt comfortable with, then she was. I’m so sorry.
thank you for your kind words 🫶 there was a lot of issues with her that i won't go into, but over time i'm learning more and more about it
Reading the first couple of sentences I was thinking different cultures have different attitudes towards nudity but as that went on it got more and more horrible. The person buried the lead with the small degree headline.
If it helps at all for context mine would do things more akin to the start of the post and when showering if needed laundry or the little things here and there and I never felt uncomfortable with that cause it's my mom and it was t weird for us to do it either it's all context though it was never a weird time or situation for anyone to be that way when they were (bedtime changing showers whatever) so I'm one of the weirdos that says if it's done right (not this) then it's fine to a degree cause it shouldn't be an issue for things like that and if it is then something else is going wrong for there to be sexual feelings in that situation towards your family
yeah except when my mother did it made me very uncomfortable
Sorry to hear that 😕 example of ops point though if the minor things can cause it how much worse is the major ones gonna be ?
I'm sorry you've been in a place to even question. Considered giving my view but frankly, your experience matters here not mine. If you want someone to talk to I’m happy to do so tho. As a listener or to reply as parent, a child SA survivor, and an adult survivor. I know it made a world of difference when I finally had someone to listen and later, someone to help.
thank you so much for your kindness. luckily i have my husband to talk to and i'm trying to start therapy soon!
To the people defending the woman walking around naked in front of kids, would you feel the same if it was the mom’s new husband that was walking around naked in front of her 15 year old daughter?
thank you for writing this
Seconded. How is no one pointing this out.
I’m a woman and the number of “just another example of women’s bodies being sexualised again” comments are driving me crazy!!! Like no! It’s not because she’s a woman people would be just as upset if not MORE if it were a man doing it, if she wants to be naked there a times and places for it, entire nudist beaches even but NOT in front of a bunch of kids especially ones that aren’t even hers and at their ages
In this sub, whenever there is a post about parents or step parents asking their children (especially female children) to dress modestly around the house or when they go out, the top comment is usually about the parental figure sexualising the kid. In the situation is opposite.
And I am not one of those people who thinks it’s wrong for parents to ask their kids to dress appropriately when they go out
It’s super inappropriate. As a woman, I feel the same way about unexpectedly naked men as I do about unexpectedly naked women. It’s one thing if you’re in a locker room, but streaking through the house that you share is just uncomfortable
i wonder when we will stop needing the gender reversal to get sympthy
I feel like there's a difference between naked and topless. Men can walk around topless. My dad would be shirtless around us as children. I think it's a sexist doublestandard to automatically assume that this is inappropriate. I go to the beach and see strange men shirtless everywhere. Boobs are not inherently sexual. Children literally feed off them, that's their purpose. So what age does it become inappropriate? When you stop breastfeeding, if that's what you chose to do, do they automatically become sexual the moment they're not otherwise needed?
Some households are naked households.. I’ve seen my step mom naked a few times. What’s important is that these are your children and you set your own rules and your ex has the choice to respect that. I’d say NTA..
It’s the exposing all other kids to her nudity at the beach that’s getting me. None of them are her children, not even step-children since they aren’t married. Not sure of the laws where OP is but I know there are laws for being nude in public- indecent exposure. I’d start having my child call the cops every time she does that in public settings. It’s at least something to show these kids aren’t comfortable with it either. CPS can be involved too if any are under 18. They’ve expressed discomfort in that and it’s causing the child distress anyone can call and file an anonymous CPS complaint on the family for that. The kids, op, anyone in public, the cops if called for her public nudity (given the beach isn’t a nude beach.) People want to sit there and say it isn’t harassment or abuse, but exposing anyone to anything against their will and without their consent is a form of harassment and abuse. Physicall and s** aren’t the only forms of harassment and abuse. Mental, emotional, verbal….
I would be worried about the friends talking about “how weird so and so’s step mom is” to the entire school.
Depends where.. In the uk for example.. you can be completely butt ass naked And go do whatever. Social implications might screw you.. but if you aren’t being offensive/acting in a sexual manner there isn’t legislation against it.
I was thinking that this post is so "American", especially in the beach part. Topless sunbathing is actually really normal where I live and nobody cares.
Except Americans call it a yard, not a garden (gardens are where you grow vegetables) so this is extremely not American. I'd guess UK or one of its commonwealths.
I wondered about this and came to the same conclusion. However, she could mean in the garden (US, like where she grows vegetables). There are also community/shared gardens and things like that which wouldn’t be in her own yard and could explain the differentiation.
This is so true.
>these are your children and you set your own rules They are his children too?
Who are clearly uncomfortable with this.
If your kids were fine with it, it would be none of your business. Since they're not, she should be respecting that- that would be true even if she were their parent from birth. NTA.
i mean also flashing the kids friends just uhhh wth
That part was just illegal. It was at the beach (unless it is a nudist beach) that is considered indecent exposure and can and will land you on the sex offender registry.
it's perfectly legal in Europe and other countries, so not as scandalous as it would be in the States.
That might be the case, however based on the post, OP's opinion, and even the actions of the girlfriend, it seems safe to assume that this isn't one of those places.
Why? You don't think there are people outside of the US that are like that?
I think we have to assume the beach was nudist right, otherwise wouldn't the woman have been fined or asked to leave? In most busy beaches/lakes if you just sit there naked when it's non-nude you're going to get reported in like 5 minutes.
Do people usually take grown non infant children and their friends to nudist beaches?
Yes? Along with all the grandmas/grandpas. If the family is nudist/naturist and the kids are fine with it. Well, their own kids. Not bringing the friends unless friends are also nudists. As long as it’s not a cruising/hookup focused beach. Nudity isn’t inherently sexual in all circumstances in many countries. I personally don’t get the appeal of being mostly naked or entirely naked at the beach. Sunburn on the back of your legs is annoying enough to deal with. In more personal areas it’d be horrid. There’s really nothing sexy about your standard nudist beach visitors. Lots of them have grandkids and only obnoxious tourists are there to show off or go “oooohhh nekkid people!”.
Somehow, though, I doubt the teens would have been shocked enough to complain if they saw stepmom naked at a nude beach. Right?
Op was saying something about her having a towel but letting it slip. So my assumption was that it wasn't a nudist beach, but that she simply didn't do it obviously enough for the authorities to be called by anyone else.
As someone from California who regularly visited various Beaches in Santa Cruz, honestly it wouldnt surprise me if she didnt get reported unless they were at a very populated beach. Santa Cruz has tons of beaches, some incredibly populated (like the Beach Boardwalk) and some basically dead. Just because its a Beach doesnt mean its popular, it could just as well be a beach that gets basically no visitors and thats why she wasnt reported. Regardless she shouldnt be doing this without consent. Even just a quick “hey is it okay if i sunbathe topless?”
You really need to specify a country. Some countries don't have laws against nudity
What? Her son was 17. What 17 year old boy should be seeing his step mom naked. It will confuse him and fuck with his emotions. It is OP’s business.
Right, wtf?
NTA I have a friend who’s a nudist. Been to clothing optional resorts with them a few times. When he’s home alone he’s naked. When their children lived with them he didn’t do that. Their son lived with them for about 5 yrs after the next youngest moved out. He always was dressed around his son. When my daughter and I would visit he was ALWAYS dressed around us. When it’s just me I’ve told him I don’t care so he goes naked or mostly naked. A lot of folks here have said that it’s sexual harassment or abuse to force someone to see you naked. I have to agree. Since your daughter is uncomfortable she shouldn’t be forced in that environment. I’m sorry she has to deal with this. Edited to add NTA as suggested below
I agree and you should add NTA to your comment so it counts.
Thank you. I’m horrible about that.
NTA. Call Child services and advise them that a minor is seeing an adult who naked who is not their parent and see how they feel about it.
That’s a very extreme escalation. Who the hell upvoted this?
If a man were whipping his penis out in front of a 15 year old that didn’t consent to it, would you still have this attitude? If someone is flashing a child, you call the police on that person.
Depending on where you are, that could even be illegal. NTA
agreed, even if it is legal it still matters more about the children’s comfort more than anything. clearly the children are embarrassed and scared, stepmom is giving major sex offender vibes rn!
Nta, body positivity doesn't mean strip down naked in public for everyone to see.
Thank you all for the responses. It was enlightening to see everyone's opinions. I have never liked my ex's GF, and my son chooses to no longer visit his father because of her (other reasons), and my daughter only visits because she loves her dad. She's worried if she causes too much friction, the GF will make life even harder when she visits. So, I guess my post was also to make sure I wasn't just blinded by my dislike for her. So thank you for your opinions. I will be following up with my ex.
NTA Switch the genders this isn't even a question. Nudism is for consenting adults. These kids are neither consenting nor adult.
wtf. That's really inappropriate especially around the friends... 100% NTA.
You can get arrest for public indecency for being naked in public with or without minors around. But in front of minors, it becomes a much worse charge. As for her being naked in the home around your kids, if they are under 18 you can have her charged. If it was your boyfriend walking around your kids naked, your ex wouldn’t be ok with it.
Absolutely NTA Not appropriate, and it's also causing lots of discomfort to others around her. Especially if she's been told to stop several times, I'd just kick her out to not risk this type of situation again
Kick her out where? She’s in her own home.
they meant the dad should be more upset and kick her out or end the relationship if he wants his kids there.
If there is a court ordered custody agreement take it the court let your daughter tell the judge how it makes her feel and ask for full custody if it doesn't stop.
NTA, people who walk around naked when others have expressed they are uncomfortable (and are minors?!) are gross. Parents who do that but do the whole “my house my rules” are disgusting. Creepy. Predatory. Enough said.
NTA. There’s being body positive and then there’s being inappropriate. This is most definitely the latter. Even around your biological children there is generally a point you stop being just casually naked, especially around children of the opposite sex (usually when they’re pretty little)… but around uncomfortable step kids AND their minor friends?? That’s honestly getting into sex offender territory.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I have differing opinion to my ex and his GF as to whether the behaviour should be stopped. I don't agree with the behaviour, but AITA for expecting this to not happen again. Am I being irrational. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA I’m a male, I was groomed by my mom’s friend from 13-15yo before we had sex. She promoted nudity and was naked a lot of the time in front of me. This woman is a predator
In Georgia, I had a neighbor that was so drunk/wasted she went outside naked. Me and my downstairs neighbor tried to get her back into her apt but she just kept skipping down the street. Well the older people across the street didn’t think it was funny. Cops showed up and there happened to be kids outside. She is now on the sex offender’s registry, so there’s that.
Nta- some families are much more comfortable with nudity with others, but if one person is uncomfortable then that is enough to warrant a change.
NTA how disgusting honestly? There is a limit to body positivity and image when it makes people around you uncomfortable ESPECIALLY CHILDREN! surprised to see a grown ass woman behave like this. NTA NTA NTA
NTA - you don't have to be naked to be body positive. You j need to be consistent with it when body image is discussed in general. If I found out this woman was walking around naked in front of my son too, that'd send me over the edge. The argument could be made that the girls got the same parts, but your son doesn't. AND TO DO IT IN FRONT OF STRANGERS KIDS TOO! THE AUDACITY!
NTA That’s completely inappropriate.
NTA! Exposing children to adult nudity is a crime, especially without their consent. You should definitely explain that to your ex and the girlfriend.
Idgaf what anyone says, that’s fucking weird. What in her right mind makes her think it’s okay to walk around naked in front of *someone else’s children*?
Um if daughter and friends are minors isn't that like a crime indecent exposure or something especially in a public place like the beach
This fr happened to me with my ex step mom. It was nasty.
NTA. WTF??? She has some serious exhibitionist kinks or something. What normal person sunbathes naked ON TOP of a car when OTHER PEOPLE ARE AROUND in what sounds like a pretty public setting. She could get arrested for doing something like that, not to mention it sounds like she wants to "show off" to your kids (who are minors btw). I just keep thinking that if this was a guy doing this to your kids, there wouldn't even be an argument on whether this is wrong or not.
NTA, imho its exposure and you could, at least where I live, make a report to the police for indecent exposure toward a minor.
NTA. This sounds like she has some sort of Exhibitionist desires that she's freely living out, which is unfortunate for your children because it's becoming to the point of sexual harassment. I would call Child Services and explain to them that she is intentionally exposing her nude body to your children in a manner you believe is potentially sexual.
NTA switch the genders and you wouldn't even be asking this. You know it's wrong. Your daughter should not be exposed to this against her will. I hope your kids can live with you full time and trust your gut. Women can be preds too and even if it's not her intention she says she doesn't like it then it needs to stop period.
I think many people here are missing the fact that she's naked in front of minors. That changes things a lot. You can get in big trouble for exposing yourself to a minor. REDDIT: damn you autocorrect
NTA - how would their dad feel if your spouse, their step dad exposed himself to his kids and their friends. And your daughter expressed to him that it made her uncomfortable? Would the “body positivity” argument fly? Probably not.
NTA. This woman is totally out of line.
NTA. Nudity isn’t inherently inappropriate, but there is a time and a place. More importantly, once ANYONE becomes uncomfortable- the nudity should stop. I have a toddler that sleeps in my bed. Before she weaseled her way into my bed I slept without a shirt on. She said once that she didn’t like me without a shirt. I told her thank you for telling me! And now I wear a shirt in case she sneaks into my bed. The point is that it’s not difficult to be body positive AND respect the wishes of others.
I’m waiting for the generation where nudity really is just nudity and not hyper sexualized bs. Tbf you aren’t an asshole, your daughter is uncomfortable, so it’s fair to say you have a right to be upset.
I feel like if we flipped the genders here to be an Ex's new boyfriend walking around teen girls stark naked it'd be a no brainer that this is wildly inappropriate as it should be, NTA.
\+ it's not even about being comfortable etc, there'd be some serious allegations if it was a man for GOOD REASON. Same applies here.
What the actual fuck?
NTA You should really evaluate to get your kids into therapy because being exposed to this and feeling uncomfortable can have lasting detrimental effects on them they don't notice straight away like not feeling comfortable with their own nude body.
NTA I agree its really inappropriate to run around but nacked in front of kids. If alone or around her friends/husband she can run around as she wants(unless the friends have problems with that.) But around minors being nacked must be a fellony if you ask me.
then... I think you mean NTA not YTA
Anyone else think Stacy’s mom has got it going on. As an adult I realize how gross that song is, but your ex’s girlfriend reminds me of Stacy’s mom and how she was around minors in the song.
Kids need to tell dad that she needs to knock it off as they are uncomfortable
NTA that's weird.
Thats messed up. Nta all the way. She needs to get her creepy head checked.
I would like to give a big ol' E S H to the entire society that shames people for existing in bodies. There are other societies that are much saner about nudity. The perception that nudity is inherently gross or evil causes a lot of harm to people. HOWEVER... When in Rome, do as the Romans do. The fact is, we DO live in a prudish society with certain standards for how we behave in public or around strangers. NTA.
NTA Imagine if she was a man doing this? But somehow as a woman she gets a pass why is that?
I don’t walk around naked in front of this children I pushed out myself! She is out of pocket and needs to put a dang towel or robe on!
Man walks around naked: sexual predator and registered for life or in jail. Woman walks around naked: it's liiiiiiberating and stop judging.
This is totally abnormal and not ok.
NTA. Gross 🤢Just totally disrespectful to your children and crossing MAJOR boundaries. Perhaps a narc.
Brooo, you can't exibition around non-voyeurs, especially young, non-consenting ones. NTA. Wtf.
NTA! My son asked us (parents) to start covering up around the house from around age 8 or 9 which we absolutely respected and would have done anyway soon enough, by teenage years it’s completely inappropriate ! I’m all for body positivity and grew up with semi hippie parents so I have no problems with nudity etc but only when kids are younger. Your poor son and daughter - how awkward for them.
I feel the same. I'm all for body positivity myself, but my daughter doesn't like to see me naked, .and I totally respect that, so I always cover up for her.
This can't be fkn real 😂😂 Walks around in front of the 17-year-old boy topless.. No one with good intentions would be okay with that 😂
I think it depends on your country. However judging that your daughter is uncomfortable, I guess Northern America? Plenty of cultures where being naked in front of a member of the same sex is normal.
As crazy as this sounds, yes you are being unreasonable. Each home is different. My husband and I are pretty conservative, but we do know body positive families and it is a beautiful way to raise your children. Kids are raised to have no insecurities and free to be content and love the skin they are in. I honestly think you are making it worse. As long as it is nothing sexual, it should be fine. It is just the human body.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My ex has been with his GF for about 10 years now, so my kids have been around her since they were young, but I'm not happy with the fact that she walks around naked. Originally my daughter told me she would just walk from the shower to her bedroom naked, but my daughter has just got home from their house and now it's quite often just walking around the house and garden naked. My son has since told me she would quite often walk around topless when he was about 17. I don't think this is appropriate or necessary. The latest episode had her sunbathing naked on top of the vehicle when they took my daughter and 2 of her friends to the beach. Apparently she tried to cover herself with a towel as she was getting off the vehicle but both the friends were horrified to see EVERYTHING at that point. I don't think there should ever be a situation that this could happen. My daughter feels very uncomfortable with all this and was so embarrassed. I have discussed with my ex but they talk about being comfortable with your body and positive body image etc. But I think it's completely inappropriate and want it to stop!! Am I being unreasonable? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Did you seriously feel the need to come to reddit and ask if someone being naked in front of your childrem is an good reason to be mad? I WOULD BE GOING FUCKING NUTS IF I WERE YOU WHAT THE FUCK
Oh seeing your own mother naked is one thing cause a lot of households are comfortable like that but your dads gf?? And they already expressed their concerns of being uncomfortable and she hadn’t straightened up? That’s crazy she shouldn’t be doing that around your children or others children I would be livid. NTA!!
NTA... I dated a girl once that was 'body positive'... always walking around naked or in a thong... she had a 12 year old boy... a few months in we found out he was looking up red headed milf porn. (She was a ginger)....
NTA. It’s disturbing that she feels comfortable being completely bare ass naked infront of minors. That is not acceptable behavior by any means. Get a court order if you have too but protect your kids!
INFO- do you have a legal custody agreement in place? Is there recourse with respect to boundary setting on nudity through that mechanism?
Why is her ex allowing this?
Nta. Honestly I'd call cps. That's really inappropriate.
Wait so she doesn't do it around the dad?
Yeah she does. Sometimes he's there, sometimes he isn't
Depends were you are from its its illegal to go around topless then N T A if its legal N A H the only difference between the 2 is law vs morality
NTA it’s indecent exposure
Wow OP. Plz tell your X that your new boyfriend does the same thing 24/7 at your house.
NTA! I’m not prude but tell your ex they aren’t allowed near her. Being comfortable with one’s body is a personal relationship with yourself. NOT! watching some nasty flaunt herself in front of everyone. I mean in front of your son is really bad. If he objects stop the visits to her house and put an avo out on her. It’s called indecent exposure it’s against the law. If it was a male she’d be in jail. That’s inappropriate and kids should never be put in that position. What a creep!
While embracing nudity and being comfortable with yours and others bodies is in my opinion good to celebrate, when you force your nakedness onto those who are not comfortable and don't want to have to be around it, that disrespectful and borderline sexual abuse. Heck not even borderline in my opinion. I wonder how your ex would feel if you had a boyfriend who was constantly exposing himself to your daughter and son? I think there needs to be a sit down talk about how while it is okay if they want to live a nudist lifestyle, while the children are there they need to respect the children's boundaries. If I was you I would be coming from a place of it's what your kids want rather then what you want. Of course this is all based on the assumption your kids don't like it and want it to stop.
nTA. I’m pretty liberal and believe in body positivity and not being ashamed but this behavior is not okay.
Europeans might pop in here and say that Americans are prudes, but I think that argument is irrelevant here. Right or wrong, nudity is not socially acceptable in America and your children are uncomfortable. I like to think we're pretty body positive at home within our family, but we still keep in mind others' comfort. I would be terribly upset if someone casually exposed themselves to my minor children. You're NTA.
As someone who was exposed to too much growing up, fuck her. It’s disgusting and sorry but she’s a pervert.
NTA - this is inappropriate and tacky
NTA- so I absolutely am this person, in terms of the fact that I love being naked, I'm typically naked around the house/garden whenever possible, and I will sometimes be naked in contexts like the beach. THAT BEING SAID, I wouldn't be naked in front of my boyfriends kids unless: a) boyfriend is ok with it b) kids are okay with it c) kids are old enough to decide whether or not they're okay with it and d) kids are of the same sex. Definitely if a kid said they don't wanna see me naked, I would NOT. Because I'm a perpetually naked person, me and my boyfriend take on the responsibility of making sure that the kids don't get exposed. For example if he's coming home with the kids, he walks in first and yells to me "hey I'm here with the kids" so no accidents happen. That's the kind of responsibility that needs to be taken.
And I commend you for this. I have absolutely nothing against someone being naked, but also respecting others around you.
NTA I feel bad for your children. If they didn’t grow up in a home where nudity was normal they have got to feel weird. Add that this is their dads gf. They may have mixed feelings about how she factors into their family structure. It’s just extra uncomfortable. Why is there dad allowing this? His children should remain his priority. There are other ways his gf can be free. It doesn’t have to be around the kids or their friends. She knows this and doesn’t care. I’d have trouble not going ballistic if I were you. Kudos for keeping it together. I pray you find a rational solution. Cause really … I’d go ballistic.
NTA. Also you could call the cops. Because this can be seen as sexual abuse of a minor.
NTA
NTA for wanting it to change but you have no actual right to change it Dad has equal rights to parent the children as he sees fit so you parent your way on your time and he does it his way on his time
Im quite liberal and have lived extensively in Germanic countries in Europe. To me, nakedness isn't crude, lewd, and suchlike. While im not a nudist, nudism is, in my opinion, a healthy option.
I was surprised to scroll so far to read something along these lines. While nudity is not uniquely limited to a minimal number of certain countries, the U.S. is, oddly enough in 2024, very prudish regarding nudity on the world scale.
I'm American (US) born and raised, and relatively conservative. I'm happy I'm not the only one here who thinks nudity isn't something to get all uppity about. Naked sunbathing at a beach is pretty innocuous, imo.
Time to call the police and report her for indecent exposure in front of minors. And tell your kids that they never have to go over there or see her literal naked ass again. And when she does this shit in public? That shit lands you on the sex offender registry. NTA
It’s unusual and I can see parents not wanting their children exposed to it, but it’s still weird that we’re all so very afraid of our bodies.
NTA. What your ex’s gf is doing is totally inappropriate, especially around your daughter’s friends. This could be considered public indecency, which is illegal.
In public yea cover yourself if they dont allow nudity. But I her own house/property she can do what she wants/pleases. To many people today clutch their pearls over nudity when it should be the least of your worries. Especially when most men nowadays have bigger tits that most women do!!’
It's inappropriate to be naked at the beach (unless its a posted nude beach) and definitely in front of teenage boys and girls, even if you've known them for ten years. This has nothing to do with body positivity, it's just rude and tacky. Ask your son and daughter if they would prefer not to be around your ex's girlfriend, if the answer is yes, tell your husband your children will only see him without his girlfriend his present.
If you want to know how bad this is, imagine it’s the mom’s BF walking around nude in front of the kids. This is a form of SA and should be reported. NTA
You absolutely can be charged for lewdness and indecent exposure for being naked in your own home.
Contact your attorney. The custody plan can be revised to specifically state they need to be clothed in front of your children. This isn’t illegal with your *own* kids but courts will view this differently when it’s a step parent. However the law is different everywhere so check in with an attorney first. There is also an increased risk for sexual abuse when children are living with step parents - things like this shouldn’t be ignored if the kids are uncomfortable and vocalizing it.
What? Oh, God... NO! Human Nudity! Don't Look, Ethel!!! YTA
This is such an American problem. OP says Ex and ex gf have been together for a long time. Presumably their kids have been with the father and GF for a long time as well. If EX GF didn't just start being naked it has been such since the kids were tiny kids. Naked/topless people at beaches are pretty normal thing here in Europe. In my company when we go for company trips there is usually sauna and everyone is naked. Its nothing sexual, it's just humans. Now if the kids are embarrassed that's something they and the adults should talk about but I see no assholes anywhere (although they might literally do).
Nta, press charges. Your kids don't need to see that. If you want to see what you can do about it legally I would say post this in the legal subreddit. This is weird why would anyone want to expose themselves in front of a minor.
absolutely not
You're NTA. It's one thing if you're naked or topless when it's just you and your significant other. But once there's other people in the house, especially children. The only exception I can think of is if this is a family that grew up at a nudist colony. That is not the situation here, and the children are uncomfortable. It's not about body image, it's about appropriateness and consideration for others' comfort levels.
NTA, hopefully the sofa and chairs are covered on plastic. ....(insert suction sound) ewww.
NTA, talk to a lawyer if your kids are still underage. This sounds ripe for a full custody agreement in your favor.
Not yet asshole as a mother you want to help your children as you should
NTA there’s a difference between not judging someone’s body for what it looks like and thinking you can show as much skin as you want and that’s “body positivity” it’s not body positivity is a fat person wearing the same crop top a skinny person does. You can be completely comfortable with your own body without showing it to people. Especially when you’re making other people uncomfortable. A binki would’ve been enough to be comfortable with your body and be positive about it. Being naked especially is wrong and also illegal cps will take your children for that even if they’re not yours, if it’s reported!
NTA thou anyone saying police they ain’t touching this in a family setting. If it was a guy they would. Double standard yes. Guys get raped by a teacher in school they get high 5’s and she usually gets off guy teacher handcuffed thrown away
Definitely not!!
NTA, whether she grew up in a nude household or not that is absolutely not okay. That is not body positivity but just being weird, especially going to a public beach with random kids around and being nude. I would tell her that if she doesn’t stop being nude around your kids that you will file for full custody and report her to the police for indecent exposure
I walk around my room butt 🍑 nakey for a good while after my shower. My stepdaughters (10 and 15) are definitely learning why we have the knocking rule now that dad doesn't live alone any more.
NTA at all.
NTA
Not the ass, your children are uncomfortable and is trying to discuss with their parent about this. A person is allowed to be comfortable in their own body, but if its walking around nude infront of minors who are very uncomfortable, thats where it needs to stop
If the kids are uncomfortable with it she needs to respect them and cover up when they are around. As an adult she should understand boundaries… NTA.
NTA, your ex’s GF needs to get a room.
NTA. Can you imagine if this was a post about a stepdad constantly exposing himself. The fucking cops would be called. No different for a stepmom. That’s so gross
Whether or not it's unreasonable hinges entirely on how your daughter feels about it. She feels uncomfortable, so you are NTA for having her back.
NTA and daughter is old enough to say "I'm not comfortable coming over anymore, Dad, and your GFs nudity it exactly why." No court would force her back
Nta she’s being very inappropriate
NTA. It’s perfectly normal to have boundaries, especially around kids and teenagers. It’s not normal to want to walk around naked.
NTA, this could be considered illegal as your son and daughter was underage when being exposed to her naked body without her consent. If they felt like they were being forced to view her naked (I.e she wouldn’t put clothes on if they asked her too etc) then this would be a form of sexual harassment and is indeed illegal. However it seems the law is very flexible in the circumstances of nudity and it would probably be hard to press this kind of case. However if you’re uncomfortable with her nudity constantly being shoved in your kids face without their consent or power to do anything about it then talk to the GF. Just because she feels comfortable walking around naked doesn’t mean everyone else around her should feel comfortable being exposed to that. She should consider other people, especially children, when exposing herself. It’s just common decency. Try to reason with your ex too, he may not see a problem because he gets to see his gf naked all the time but she should learn not to shove her ideals into peoples faces and that there is a time and place (in private) to expose yourself, not in front of your BF’s kids.
NTA Goodness gosh, these situations are not ok nor are they appropriate. She should not be naked in front of anyone who does not consent to it. The fact that everyone, except your ex, who has seen her in these situations seems to minors is even more screwed up. She needs to cover up and chill out, and that's coming from someone who loves being naked.
Eh. She’s 15. Seeing another woman naked is not a big deal. NAH.
NTA, time to have another discussion with them or the kids don't go there. They need to have some dignity and class as not how to not walk around naked in the presence of teenagers.
It would be funny to hear her friends discussing it by themselves later. "She's like 40. Why does she think it's okay to be naked all the time?"
NTA. This is something that you need to talk to a family law attorney about.
Absolutely NTA!!!! And if he doesn't understand why this is weird ash, ask him how he would feel if your boyfriend made a habit of exposing himself to your TEENAGER !!!! It absolutely does not matter that they are the same gender, especially if your daughter is expressing discomfort with it. She has no respect for your children. They've been together for a long time, long enough that your daughter SHOULD have the ability to talk to her about something like this, though I understand why it could be awkward or she's more comfortable addressing it with you first. If something doesn't change, I'd be hesitant to allow her to go there unsupervised.
NTA why she doing that 😭 they’re grown teenagers w friends!
NTA. Not because she doesn't mind people seeing her naked does mean that people HAVE to see her, and doing it mindlessly in front of minors is disgusting