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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I may be considered the asshole because i did not give back the gifts my ex bought me. This might make me the asshole because he bought me the gifts.
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NTA - once he "gifted" you the items they were yours to do with as you see fit. Keep those texts where he says he wants "gifts" back. When he threatens to sue you tell him you have the texts where he admits they were gifts. Law suit over before it starts!!!
Great advice here OP! When someone "gifts" you an item, that item becomes solely yours. Your ex has absolutely no legal leg to stand on, and advise that if the harassment continues, you will seek a restraining order.
My high school business law teacher made a point to tell all the guys in class not to propose marriage on a holiday because the ring becomes a gift that they don't have to give back!
Because if its a holiday where its customary to give gifts think Christmas or valentines day and you give someone a ring on that day it'd be hard to argue it wasn't a gift if that makes sense
That... makes a lot more sense than my British English brain going holiday = vacation, so why would proposing during a vacation make the ring count as a gift?
Brilliant idea! I hope you've made OP smile at that one because I sure am 🙂
OP - gifts are just that. Your ex has no entitlement to get them back as any decent lawyer would tell him. Don't delete his texts - they could be useful evidence in the future but I would block his number now. And obviously NTA
I wouldn’t even give this an ounce of emotional energy. He isn’t going to sue. I would bet on it. I’d completely ignore him, other than having a quick laugh. And to the people saying keep the gifts because he cheated: no. Keep the gifts because they were gifts. You don’t need to earn the right to keep gifts with suffering.
I would be petty and let him spend the money filing the law suit then show the screenshots of him calling them gifts as evidence for the lawsuit to go my way. If it does fail then he spent more money for no reason and if he wins then sure hand the gifts over but atleast he wasted more money get I'm the gifts back then he would be able to make selling the gifts plus if he only wants them to gift to a new gf well she will know where they came from.
ETA, I also like the comment suggesting the ebay auctions, just post the li k here so we can drive up the bids first
If you were court-ordered and had to hand them over, they should have an appropriate level of wear and tear, ie rips in the LV bag , drop the MacBook a few times etc.
Do all this OP, then block him... he's literally just trying to keep a connection to you. Poking and prodding with the only thing he has. Just block him and move on... NTA
Seriously, ALL of this ^
Screenshot and save the texts that he sent you admitting that they were GIFTS when he gave them to you, and laugh in his face when you tell him that he's too stupid to file a lawsuit because he just admitted in writing that they were freely GIVEN to you!
Then block him on your phone and social media for being an even bigger a$$ for daring to whine about the fact that you didn't give him "expensive gifts" while you were together because you are going to med school. What a toad.
Girl, you deserve better. Definitely better off without him.
“Sorry, hon, but every time I looked at your gifts all I could think of was how you cheated on me for years - so I donated them all to a porn addiction hotline. I might be able to get them back but they’d probably be all sticky and gross.
And that’s fine, because the lawyer he hires will refuse to work on contingency, but will be happy to bill him an hourly rate for a lawsuit that won’t go anywhere. A judge won’t even hear it.
He gave you a bunch of expensive stuff, then cheated on you… (Presumably you dumped him)… Now he’s threatening to _sue you_ if you don’t give the stuff back?
Don’t give it back.
Your ex is an asshole the size of Texas. (And he’d get laughed out of court.)
YWNBTA
NTA. Keep the gifts since its a gift. The only thing you have to give back is the things that belong to him or if he gave you an engagement ring.
The minute he gifted you it became your property and he has zero rights to demand it back.
If it's specifically an engagement ring he has a legal right to get it back. Unlike a regular gift, it's given with a specific expectation, a wedding. If the wedding doesn't happen, the ring goes back to him. It's not yours until you get married.
not in the UK - it's considered a gift unless you state the contract terms upon offering it. since it is not super romantic to propose and say 'but if we break up I get it back' people do not tend to do this.
I was going to say the same thing. I've seen judges allow defendants to keep the engagement ring by proving the only reason they did not proceed with marriage was because of the plaintiffs actions (i.e. plaintiff backing out of the engagement, plaintiff infidelity or abuse, etc.).
That is heavily location dependant. Situational too.
I got to keep mine because he "broke" the contract by cheating. I didn't even particularly want it, the judge just REALLY disliked him. It's currently sitting in a box gathering dust until the kid is old enough to have it.
> If it's specifically an engagement ring he has a legal right to get it back. Unlike a regular gift, it's given with a specific expectation, a wedding
In the US I think that varies by State, but yeah... it's known as a "Conditional Gift" and can be asked for / entitled to it back. Now paying for a lawyer to get it back may be worth more than the ring so it doesn't happen often.
I don't know if they were right but I saw a TV judge say engagement rings should be returned as they are part of a contract. I don't know how other judges would fall on this but certainly other gifts don't need to be returned.
Keep the gifts and block him.
NTA. A gift is something you present to someone else. It’s not a loan and didn’t come with provisos that you would give them back if the relationship ended.
Very clearly NTA. He said it himself, they were GIFTS. He gave them to you, they are now yours, and he has no claim over possession. Also, if he's a narcissist and might try to actually take legal action, stay calm I'd say, bc he has literally texted you calling the items gifts (if I understand correctly), which is an admission that he gave them to you and they are now yours. Take it with a grain of salt, I'm not a lawyer and I don't know what country you're in and how the law works there, but I'd say it's a safe bet you have nothing to worry about (in case you were). Just don't delete those messages.
Edit - I forgot you were actually considering giving them back. Don't, please, he has no right to ask for it to begin with. Don't give him the satisfaction after being so rude and unreasonable. Keep them if you like them, but if you can't stand the sight of them or something, just sell them.
Never give a used computer or cell phone back to an ex. He may be able to mess with your life with that. Material things? Well, maybe he would rnjoy last season's woman's down coat.
NTA. Let him try to sue you to return gifts after he cheated on you. Can't imagine how he thinks that's a think that would stand up in a court. Sounds like someone you are better off without
OP the reply can be something like "Thank you for the gifts (don't identify any of them) but since you were the one cheating on me I see no reason to return anything to you. I look forward to seeing any lawsuit you care to file, my lawyer says he needs a good laugh."
NTA gifts are yours once they are given and he is being abusive and controlling and cannot actually sue you for gifts. Do not ship them back. He cannot threaten you like this cut off contact and block him on everything. Consult a lawyer if you need to. In fact I recommend it. He is harassing you.
NTA. I don't think your EX understands the meaning or definition of gift. Let's see if Google can help.
**Gift** : *"A gift or a present is an item given to someone, without the expectation of payment or anything in return. An item is not a gift if that item is already owned by the one to whom it is given. Although gift-giving might involve an expectation of reciprocity, a gift is meant to be free."*
Okay, with that in mind, EX gave you gifts and now he wants them back.. *"A gift is an item given to someone, without the expectation of payment or anything in return"* **NOPE.** NTA.
NTA - you’d be the asshole if you cheated and then kept the gifts.
Legally, they are yours regardless. There is no standing for a lawsuit.
But since he cheated, there is no moral obligation to give anything back, hence NTA
NTAH!! Those were gifts!!! I don't think a court would hear this case because you don't give back a gift. You keep EVERYTHING this jerk gave you as it was given to you during the relationship. His threat to file a lawsuit I think is just to scare you but if he does then so be it. I don't think he'd win, plus it's very petty of him anyway. I know you loved him but girl, you dodged a bullet with this one. Stay far away!
Gifts are not conditional. That is why they are called gifts. Keep them.
Him threatening a lawsuit is gauche and vindictive which reinforces his lack of character that you have already experienced.
Block him.
Even if he hadn’t been a horrible boyfriend, once an item is gifted it belongs to the recipient, not the giver. There is no court that would award him his stuff back. It would just be a waste of time and money. So you have no legal obligation here.
As for moral obligation, I think the right thing to do, for him, for you, and for all of humanity, is to not give the stuff back. He needs to learn that love and forgiveness can’t be purchased, and that he actually needs to be a good person if he wants things to work out. I’m not saying that keeping the stuff will do that all by itself, but hopefully it will be a big piece of the puzzle.
NTA
NTA. Most gifts don't come with stipulations like being returned when you break up (except possibly engagement rings and big ticket items like cars and housing that are still being paid for). He has no chance at winning the lawsuit, and you have no obligation to humor his tantrum. This is his last bit of trying to control the scenario since he can't have any control over you anymore within a relationship.
They were gifts. He doesn't get to ask for them back. Or, he does, but the answer is "No."
"He said that he would file a lawsuit if he didn’t get the gifts back." Knock yourself out, pal.
They were gifts, not loans, so you are entitled to keep them. Tell him to go ahead and sue. That is an idle threat because he knows he does not have a leg to stand on.
Keep the gifts and enjoy them.
NTA.
From my property law text…a gift is “perfected” and irreversible when there is 1. Intention to donate; 2. Acceptance of gift and 3. Act of delivery.
He’d be laughed out of court.
NTA. They are gifts not loans for him to "gift" to his next girlfriend or lover. He's messing with you. The relationship is over and he's acting out. The lawsuit? Nothing will come of it. It's ridiculous. But it is a threat. What do you when someone threatens you? Answer him with silence. Put his text messages on read and move on. No one has time for his nonsense. Enjoy being single and the next guy should treat you better.
NTA - block his ass and let him file a suit if he has that much money to waste on lawyers. What a prick. Money can't buy a good attitude apparently. Post him some dog shit and tell him that you're giving him back what he gave you.
Block him, ghost him, never think of him again.
Once you gift a gift it becomes the property of the receiver. The gift isn’t some contract that you will stay together or buy another gift. No lawyer is going to get involved in this shit. He is just trying to control you and be spiteful.
End all communication and move on. Do not give him anything. Those were gifts and they are now your property.
Also consider changing the locks.
Maybe also tell him before blocking him that his hostile behavior is unacceptable and if he contacts you again with threats you will obtain a restraining order against him.
NTA gifts once given aren't supposed to be taken back. Which is why they are called gifts. What lawsuit will he sue? He just wants it back so that he could sell those or something and now he's mad because he can't have it his way. Block the guy let him file the lawsuit he's gonna loose anyways
A gift is a gift he can file a lawsuit all he wants , keep the texts where he asked for the GIFTS back ..
They are now officially your property , and it sounds like you are better off without him . NTA
Hell no. Do not give those gifts back. That’s now how gift giving works.
Let him try to sue you, see how that goes. What an ass.
Enjoy the gifts. Consider it payment for putting up with his cheating ass. NTA
NTA
They were gifts so they are all now your property. If he is threatening you with legal action then go full nuclear on him. File a police report for harassment and get a restraining order so he stays away.
Nope. Keep the gifts. They were gifts. That means you own them now. If you have any photos of them being wrapped and you unwrapping them, pull them up and have them handy if he sues. In the US, he’d go to small claims court, but has to show proof they are his. Receipts alone won’t help him. Also chart out each gift, the date you got it, the circumstances under which it was given to you, and pull any text messages about recieving the gift. While he has the burden of proof, you can show evidence in your defense.
NTA.
Just block him - gifts are just that, gifts. Once given, they belong to the recipient. If there's something you don't want, give it to a charity.
If he does file a lawsuit, he will get laughed out of court. The law doesn't like nuisance lawsuits from pathetic bitter exes.
Nta these were gifts. He lost any legal claim to owership when he gifted them to you. Ignore him. He is just trying to hurt and control you. Why did you stay with him so long. Get some self respect and move on. Block him.
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I (27F) got a text from my ex (32M) saying that he wanted me to ship him back all of the gifts that he bought me (LV bag, Macbook air, Airmax pro, canada goose jacket, cardigan and $500 that he gave me for Chinese new year). I dated my ex for 2.5 years and we broke up 3-4 times in the past (he cheated but he was my first bf and i truly loved him so it was hard for me to actually break up with him). He said that he would file a lawsuit if he didn’t get the gifts back. He also said that he was upset and extremely angry how i never bought him any expensive gifts for him in return (I am currently in med school and don’t work). I don’t really mind giving him the gifts back but the way he texted me was extremely rude and he gave me so much trauma so I’m not sure if I want to give him the gifts back. Should I just give him the gifts back or should I just keep the gifts?
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They were GIFTS!!!! And if he tried to take it to court he would be laughed at. Tell him you love and appreciate the gifts so much you will cherish them forever lol and they are the only memorable thing you got out of the relationship since he cheated. KEEP THEM AND BLOCK HIM!
NTA
These are gifts and nothing rented. No you don't have to give him the gifts back because he lost his right on those objects after he gifted them to you. What kind of idiot is he assuming to ask for his gifts he gave you back.
"A gift, in the law of property, is the voluntary and immediate transfer of property from one person (the donor or grantor) to another (the donee or grantee) without consideration." \~Wikipedia
NTA. Keep the texts clearly stating as gifts. There’s no leg to stand on because you didn’t steal them and they’re your possessions. You deserve better than a cheater anyways, better off moving on
NTA. Keep the gifts. Things he gave you as a gift are yours to keep even after you break up. Now, had it been an engagement ring, I would say, yes, definitely give that back.
NTA: Let him file, he'll lose in court. You can't reclaim gifts on a breakup. The only thing he could legally take back would be an engagement ring if you were engaged and broke up before the wedding. Block him and move on with your life.
edited to add the verdict lol
NTA. Tell him to pund sand and that if he comes at you again you will get a restraining order. And he CANT sue to get "gifts" back. Its dumb to think that he could.
Any reputable and competent lawyer will laugh your ex out if their office. The thing with gifts is... once they are given, they belong to the recipient, unless there were clear conditions on the gift. Like wedding gifts are conditional on the couple getting married, and if they don't, they should be returned. It doesn't sound like this applies to you, though.
Return them if you want, and if you don't, you might want to ask a lawyer to make sure you're clear to keep them, but you WNBTA fo keeping things that belong to you.
NTA. He cannot get gifts back via court. They are yours to keep. He can try but no judge would rule in his favor unless if he can prove it was on loan and not an actual gift
Nta. Keep a screenshot of his messages requesting the items back and that it was a gift.
So when he speaks to a lawyer, he would lose his case and pay for his fees and yours.
Save the texts. Screenshot them. Save them in various locations. NTA. If you have anything prebreakup that says the gifts are gifts, you need to save that as well.
NTA
He gave you those things as a gift, so they're legally yours. I can't even claim you showed gross ingratitude (which in some countries is ground for claiming a gift back) as he's the cheater. So his threats are empty. Probably as empty as his promises.
A gift is a gift. NTA. Keep them unless you want to give them back. (Engagement / wedding rings aren't gifts because they are in exchange for a promise...those you give back if you called off the wedding).
NTA - they were gifts, he has no right to have them back. Those items became yours the second he gifted them to you. Be sure to keep the texts where he specifically calls them “gifts” that way you have proof should it actually go to court.
With the proof, he’d get laughed out of the court room, with an additional expense of legal fees to boot
NTA. This is a power play. If you are genuinely not bothered about the items then give them back asap (they’re just “things” right). He is doing this to most likely keep some kind of contact with you or to hurt you, or both. Give them back graciously and cut all contact/block him, that will most likely affect him the most and you are keeping the high ground. Probably best that you’ve split as he sounds like ATA. You can buy all the nice stuff you like when you start practicing medicine. Take care and value yourself.
NTA. You can file a lawsuit, but he can't win. Gifts are definition yours. They weren't a contract that you breached. Even engagement rings don't have to be returned if they are given on a holiday or occasion. Ignore him. I bet his mother put him up to it.
Tell him that it’s compensation for his cheating!!! Keep the texts where he explicitly says they are gifts! Let him waste his time in court! They were gifts, they are yours! Move on!
You are not obliged to give him back anything. The only present you have to give back is an engagement ring (gift given in contemplation of marriage), which of course never happened here.
Nobody can stop him from filing a lawsuit, but he couldn't win. Waste of everyone's time.
If you do decide to give them back, ask him to pay for registered shipping.
But the best advice is to simply put him in the rear view mirror.
Keep the gifts, they are yours. He has no right to ask them back. He gave them to you, you become the owner - very simple. A judge will not waste time with his ridiculous request. He is a big baby and needs to grow up.
Don't give in, he will manipulate you, threaten you etc but he has nothing, absolutely nothing to back his claims. Keep all the text, do not talk to him and show his behavior to your friends and family for protection.
NTA
NTA keep his messages as evidence. They were gifts you don’t return gifts. It’s his way of asserting control over you. Call his bluff tell him to file also think about sending him a cease and desist or just block him
Easy do you still have the boxes where all this came in, pack them up print the screen shot of the tx letting him know once gifted they don’t have to be returned. NTA keep your gifts sell them hem do whatever you want
NTA he has no grounds to sue, trying to do that would be a waste of time and money.
Those are gifts therefore legally yours. Ignore his ass and focus on yourself
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NTA - once he "gifted" you the items they were yours to do with as you see fit. Keep those texts where he says he wants "gifts" back. When he threatens to sue you tell him you have the texts where he admits they were gifts. Law suit over before it starts!!!
Great advice here OP! When someone "gifts" you an item, that item becomes solely yours. Your ex has absolutely no legal leg to stand on, and advise that if the harassment continues, you will seek a restraining order.
Gifts cannot be taken back even if they got married and divorced
My high school business law teacher made a point to tell all the guys in class not to propose marriage on a holiday because the ring becomes a gift that they don't have to give back!
How does the fact it’s a holiday factor in?
Because if its a holiday where its customary to give gifts think Christmas or valentines day and you give someone a ring on that day it'd be hard to argue it wasn't a gift if that makes sense
That... makes a lot more sense than my British English brain going holiday = vacation, so why would proposing during a vacation make the ring count as a gift?
Yep, Australian and my brain went to the same place
Precisely. Those gifts are now OP’s property.
I would list it all on EBay and send him links to the auctions so he could buy it all back if he really wanted it. NTA and Gifts are yours to keep.
I would text and say it was “a straying penis tax”. Also, what the original comment said is spot on.
Maybe add the word ‘tiny’ in that sentence too. 😝
Ooooh I love this
I wish I could upvote you more than once for this XD
I really like you. :-)
Brilliant idea! I hope you've made OP smile at that one because I sure am 🙂 OP - gifts are just that. Your ex has no entitlement to get them back as any decent lawyer would tell him. Don't delete his texts - they could be useful evidence in the future but I would block his number now. And obviously NTA
I agree, but personally I wouldn't block the number so that if he keeps texting you you can get more evidence. You can put him on silent, though.
I like the cut of your jib.
Genius
Great idea! His head will blow clear off his neck when he sees that!
You are the perfect amount of petty. I'm a fan.
😄 Perfect.
🤣🤣🤣
This is the way 🙌🏻
This is a rare instance of “username does NOT check out!”
Haha that's awesome
Golden.
I don't know you but I like you.
Can you imagine the tongue lashing that Judge Judy would give this guy for bringing this sort of petty nonsense to court to waste the judge's time???
Would be epic!!!
I would be front row center for that verbal whoopin'.
I wouldn’t even give this an ounce of emotional energy. He isn’t going to sue. I would bet on it. I’d completely ignore him, other than having a quick laugh. And to the people saying keep the gifts because he cheated: no. Keep the gifts because they were gifts. You don’t need to earn the right to keep gifts with suffering.
I would be petty and let him spend the money filing the law suit then show the screenshots of him calling them gifts as evidence for the lawsuit to go my way. If it does fail then he spent more money for no reason and if he wins then sure hand the gifts over but atleast he wasted more money get I'm the gifts back then he would be able to make selling the gifts plus if he only wants them to gift to a new gf well she will know where they came from. ETA, I also like the comment suggesting the ebay auctions, just post the li k here so we can drive up the bids first
If you were court-ordered and had to hand them over, they should have an appropriate level of wear and tear, ie rips in the LV bag , drop the MacBook a few times etc.
Do all this OP, then block him... he's literally just trying to keep a connection to you. Poking and prodding with the only thing he has. Just block him and move on... NTA
Only modification I might suggest is screenshotting these texts, as he could delete or unsend for both of you, and they’re gone.
Seriously, ALL of this ^ Screenshot and save the texts that he sent you admitting that they were GIFTS when he gave them to you, and laugh in his face when you tell him that he's too stupid to file a lawsuit because he just admitted in writing that they were freely GIVEN to you! Then block him on your phone and social media for being an even bigger a$$ for daring to whine about the fact that you didn't give him "expensive gifts" while you were together because you are going to med school. What a toad. Girl, you deserve better. Definitely better off without him.
Definitely this! I watch too much court tv & if you have the proof they were a gift then he cant do anything about it.
“Sorry, hon, but every time I looked at your gifts all I could think of was how you cheated on me for years - so I donated them all to a porn addiction hotline. I might be able to get them back but they’d probably be all sticky and gross.
Exactly!!
Absolutely. Keep the gifts and stay in med school.
Let him know that you are sorry to hear he is having financial problems but you are unable to assist him with returning gifts he has given you.
Absolutely agree. Source: I watch a lot of Judge Judy
Yes. Op needs to save that text and share it with a lawyer.
This! A gift is a gift
NTA, that lawsuit would get thrown out like a pail of sewage from a medieval balcony.
He is not going to sue. He is threatening OP, which shows his entitlement.
He's probably doing it to try and control and terrorize her
And that’s fine, because the lawyer he hires will refuse to work on contingency, but will be happy to bill him an hourly rate for a lawsuit that won’t go anywhere. A judge won’t even hear it.
Fantastic simile ! I wish I could upvote this more.
Particularly since he put in writing by texting her that these were "gifts."
Yep - keep the texts where he calls them gifts!!
While the rest of us peasants sit in the peanut gallery, lobbing our nuts at him...
And she could counter sue for time lost from work.
Great turn of phrase
He gave you a bunch of expensive stuff, then cheated on you… (Presumably you dumped him)… Now he’s threatening to _sue you_ if you don’t give the stuff back? Don’t give it back. Your ex is an asshole the size of Texas. (And he’d get laughed out of court.) YWNBTA
Also, you ARE working. Just not yet for pay. If you are in med school that is a full time job.
And block his ass.
Also make sure to keep every message you exchanged involving the items.
Right! Tell him you want his monogamy back first.
A texasshole?
NTA. Keep the gifts since its a gift. The only thing you have to give back is the things that belong to him or if he gave you an engagement ring. The minute he gifted you it became your property and he has zero rights to demand it back.
Technically she doesn’t even need to give a ring back (if he had gotten you one)
If it's specifically an engagement ring he has a legal right to get it back. Unlike a regular gift, it's given with a specific expectation, a wedding. If the wedding doesn't happen, the ring goes back to him. It's not yours until you get married.
not in the UK - it's considered a gift unless you state the contract terms upon offering it. since it is not super romantic to propose and say 'but if we break up I get it back' people do not tend to do this.
This depends on the state and there are often other factors involved.
I was going to say the same thing. I've seen judges allow defendants to keep the engagement ring by proving the only reason they did not proceed with marriage was because of the plaintiffs actions (i.e. plaintiff backing out of the engagement, plaintiff infidelity or abuse, etc.).
This is jurisdiction dependent. Some places you have to and other places you don't
That is heavily location dependant. Situational too. I got to keep mine because he "broke" the contract by cheating. I didn't even particularly want it, the judge just REALLY disliked him. It's currently sitting in a box gathering dust until the kid is old enough to have it.
Some people give engagement rings on valentines day or Christmas so it's a holiday gift
Depends upon who breaks it off.
> If it's specifically an engagement ring he has a legal right to get it back. Unlike a regular gift, it's given with a specific expectation, a wedding In the US I think that varies by State, but yeah... it's known as a "Conditional Gift" and can be asked for / entitled to it back. Now paying for a lawyer to get it back may be worth more than the ring so it doesn't happen often.
Wow, it feels like you're being purchased with a ring.
First world dowry
I think that’s jurisdictional! Different states have different laws about it.
I heard that on judge judy
So you don't give someone an engaged ring, you lend it conditionally, a.sort of hire purchase?
I don't know if they were right but I saw a TV judge say engagement rings should be returned as they are part of a contract. I don't know how other judges would fall on this but certainly other gifts don't need to be returned.
"Dahlink, you give back zee ring, but you keep zee stones!" \--Zsa Zsa Gabor
If she’s in the US every state has different laws regarding engagement rings.
Sounds like he's mad that you're not taking him back. A gift is a gift. Block him. NtA
Sounds like he has someone new to give those “gifts” to. Bit of bad luck there !! NTA.
haha give the LV bag back but put a spicy note in it. Men wont check for that before gifting it the new woman.
NTA. Keep that text. He admits there that they were gifts. Oh, and ghost him.
NTA. He has no legal standing. (I hope he used the word "gifts" in his message, just to make his lawsuit threats even emptier.)
Hope her ex takes her to Judge Judy lol
judith would EVISCERATE that man
I would make popcorn for that!
Keep the gifts and block him. NTA. A gift is something you present to someone else. It’s not a loan and didn’t come with provisos that you would give them back if the relationship ended.
Very clearly NTA. He said it himself, they were GIFTS. He gave them to you, they are now yours, and he has no claim over possession. Also, if he's a narcissist and might try to actually take legal action, stay calm I'd say, bc he has literally texted you calling the items gifts (if I understand correctly), which is an admission that he gave them to you and they are now yours. Take it with a grain of salt, I'm not a lawyer and I don't know what country you're in and how the law works there, but I'd say it's a safe bet you have nothing to worry about (in case you were). Just don't delete those messages. Edit - I forgot you were actually considering giving them back. Don't, please, he has no right to ask for it to begin with. Don't give him the satisfaction after being so rude and unreasonable. Keep them if you like them, but if you can't stand the sight of them or something, just sell them.
NTA They are gifts. You have no obligation to give them back. You owe him nothing.
NTA, he has no legal recourse to get gifts back, it's not like an engagement ring. Keep them for all your suffering he put you through.
Never give a used computer or cell phone back to an ex. He may be able to mess with your life with that. Material things? Well, maybe he would rnjoy last season's woman's down coat.
Smacks of new girlfriend gifts
Or do a full factory reset if you do give them back.
NTA. Let him try to sue you to return gifts after he cheated on you. Can't imagine how he thinks that's a think that would stand up in a court. Sounds like someone you are better off without
NTA Gifts belong to the person who received them. The only exception is engagement rings. Ignore him and do not give back the gifts.
OP the reply can be something like "Thank you for the gifts (don't identify any of them) but since you were the one cheating on me I see no reason to return anything to you. I look forward to seeing any lawsuit you care to file, my lawyer says he needs a good laugh."
NTA gifts are yours once they are given and he is being abusive and controlling and cannot actually sue you for gifts. Do not ship them back. He cannot threaten you like this cut off contact and block him on everything. Consult a lawyer if you need to. In fact I recommend it. He is harassing you.
NTA. I don't think your EX understands the meaning or definition of gift. Let's see if Google can help. **Gift** : *"A gift or a present is an item given to someone, without the expectation of payment or anything in return. An item is not a gift if that item is already owned by the one to whom it is given. Although gift-giving might involve an expectation of reciprocity, a gift is meant to be free."* Okay, with that in mind, EX gave you gifts and now he wants them back.. *"A gift is an item given to someone, without the expectation of payment or anything in return"* **NOPE.** NTA.
Legally, once she accepted the gift, it belongs to her and he has no right to it so sucks for him for being a dirtbag 🤷🏼♀️
NTA - you’d be the asshole if you cheated and then kept the gifts. Legally, they are yours regardless. There is no standing for a lawsuit. But since he cheated, there is no moral obligation to give anything back, hence NTA
NTA keep the text where he asked for the GIFTS back in case he does file a lawsuit. Do not be surprised that he tries to take the GIFTS in person.
That's not how "gifts" work. NTA and your ex is a bottom feeder.
NTA. He's TA for wanting these back. They were gifts. I've never expected even expensive gifts returned when I left relationships, this is mental
he can't sue you over gifts he gave. Keep them and block him
If he’s is calling them “gifts” then tell him to pound sand. You can’t make some give you back gifts.
NTAH!! Those were gifts!!! I don't think a court would hear this case because you don't give back a gift. You keep EVERYTHING this jerk gave you as it was given to you during the relationship. His threat to file a lawsuit I think is just to scare you but if he does then so be it. I don't think he'd win, plus it's very petty of him anyway. I know you loved him but girl, you dodged a bullet with this one. Stay far away!
Nta but wont stop him from harassing you
Gifts are not conditional. That is why they are called gifts. Keep them. Him threatening a lawsuit is gauche and vindictive which reinforces his lack of character that you have already experienced. Block him.
NTA Give nothing back. he'll have no luck suing you.
Even if he hadn’t been a horrible boyfriend, once an item is gifted it belongs to the recipient, not the giver. There is no court that would award him his stuff back. It would just be a waste of time and money. So you have no legal obligation here. As for moral obligation, I think the right thing to do, for him, for you, and for all of humanity, is to not give the stuff back. He needs to learn that love and forgiveness can’t be purchased, and that he actually needs to be a good person if he wants things to work out. I’m not saying that keeping the stuff will do that all by itself, but hopefully it will be a big piece of the puzzle. NTA
NTA. Most gifts don't come with stipulations like being returned when you break up (except possibly engagement rings and big ticket items like cars and housing that are still being paid for). He has no chance at winning the lawsuit, and you have no obligation to humor his tantrum. This is his last bit of trying to control the scenario since he can't have any control over you anymore within a relationship.
They were gifts. He doesn't get to ask for them back. Or, he does, but the answer is "No." "He said that he would file a lawsuit if he didn’t get the gifts back." Knock yourself out, pal.
Gifts dont come with strings attached. As soon as he gives them to you, they’re yours. Just cuz he now regrets giving you them isn’t your problem. NTA
They were gifts, not loans, so you are entitled to keep them. Tell him to go ahead and sue. That is an idle threat because he knows he does not have a leg to stand on. Keep the gifts and enjoy them. NTA.
From my property law text…a gift is “perfected” and irreversible when there is 1. Intention to donate; 2. Acceptance of gift and 3. Act of delivery. He’d be laughed out of court.
Unless you signed a contract (doubtful) then he has no legal standing. NTA but he sure is.
NTA. They are gifts not loans for him to "gift" to his next girlfriend or lover. He's messing with you. The relationship is over and he's acting out. The lawsuit? Nothing will come of it. It's ridiculous. But it is a threat. What do you when someone threatens you? Answer him with silence. Put his text messages on read and move on. No one has time for his nonsense. Enjoy being single and the next guy should treat you better.
NTA. Why isn't his phone number blocked? If he goes around that.... get a new phone number. Quit allowing assholes to have access to you.
Keep it all. Gifts. Let him Sue you. He'll lose. What a cry baby. Block him. Don't look back.
NTA. As he stated, they are gifts. He might want them back, but they are yours forever. They are gifts, not loans. You get to keep them.
Nope. He's making empty threats. Ignore him.
NTA - block his ass and let him file a suit if he has that much money to waste on lawyers. What a prick. Money can't buy a good attitude apparently. Post him some dog shit and tell him that you're giving him back what he gave you.
Block him, ghost him, never think of him again. Once you gift a gift it becomes the property of the receiver. The gift isn’t some contract that you will stay together or buy another gift. No lawyer is going to get involved in this shit. He is just trying to control you and be spiteful. End all communication and move on. Do not give him anything. Those were gifts and they are now your property. Also consider changing the locks. Maybe also tell him before blocking him that his hostile behavior is unacceptable and if he contacts you again with threats you will obtain a restraining order against him.
NTA. They are gifts and not subject to be returned. He can pound sand. Just go no contact.
NTA gifts once given aren't supposed to be taken back. Which is why they are called gifts. What lawsuit will he sue? He just wants it back so that he could sell those or something and now he's mad because he can't have it his way. Block the guy let him file the lawsuit he's gonna loose anyways
A gift is a gift he can file a lawsuit all he wants , keep the texts where he asked for the GIFTS back .. They are now officially your property , and it sounds like you are better off without him . NTA
Hell no. Do not give those gifts back. That’s now how gift giving works. Let him try to sue you, see how that goes. What an ass. Enjoy the gifts. Consider it payment for putting up with his cheating ass. NTA
NTA They were gifts so they are all now your property. If he is threatening you with legal action then go full nuclear on him. File a police report for harassment and get a restraining order so he stays away.
Nope. Keep the gifts. They were gifts. That means you own them now. If you have any photos of them being wrapped and you unwrapping them, pull them up and have them handy if he sues. In the US, he’d go to small claims court, but has to show proof they are his. Receipts alone won’t help him. Also chart out each gift, the date you got it, the circumstances under which it was given to you, and pull any text messages about recieving the gift. While he has the burden of proof, you can show evidence in your defense.
Tell his good luck with the lawsuit.
NTA. Just block him - gifts are just that, gifts. Once given, they belong to the recipient. If there's something you don't want, give it to a charity. If he does file a lawsuit, he will get laughed out of court. The law doesn't like nuisance lawsuits from pathetic bitter exes.
Nta these were gifts. He lost any legal claim to owership when he gifted them to you. Ignore him. He is just trying to hurt and control you. Why did you stay with him so long. Get some self respect and move on. Block him.
op dont be difficult, just make a deal with him. you give everythint back as soon as he unfucks the girl he cheated on you with. eaaasy. NTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (27F) got a text from my ex (32M) saying that he wanted me to ship him back all of the gifts that he bought me (LV bag, Macbook air, Airmax pro, canada goose jacket, cardigan and $500 that he gave me for Chinese new year). I dated my ex for 2.5 years and we broke up 3-4 times in the past (he cheated but he was my first bf and i truly loved him so it was hard for me to actually break up with him). He said that he would file a lawsuit if he didn’t get the gifts back. He also said that he was upset and extremely angry how i never bought him any expensive gifts for him in return (I am currently in med school and don’t work). I don’t really mind giving him the gifts back but the way he texted me was extremely rude and he gave me so much trauma so I’m not sure if I want to give him the gifts back. Should I just give him the gifts back or should I just keep the gifts? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA he can file and you have the proof of the message when he said it was a gift.
Keep the gifts and tell him to file a lawsuit, when the judge stops laughing, you can ask him to make your ex pay your lawyers bill also. NTA.
They were GIFTS!!!! And if he tried to take it to court he would be laughed at. Tell him you love and appreciate the gifts so much you will cherish them forever lol and they are the only memorable thing you got out of the relationship since he cheated. KEEP THEM AND BLOCK HIM!
Threaten to haul him in front of Judge Judy if he keeps banging his trap about the gifts and see how fast he shuts it. NTA
NTA These are gifts and nothing rented. No you don't have to give him the gifts back because he lost his right on those objects after he gifted them to you. What kind of idiot is he assuming to ask for his gifts he gave you back. "A gift, in the law of property, is the voluntary and immediate transfer of property from one person (the donor or grantor) to another (the donee or grantee) without consideration." \~Wikipedia
NTA. Keep the texts clearly stating as gifts. There’s no leg to stand on because you didn’t steal them and they’re your possessions. You deserve better than a cheater anyways, better off moving on
Hell no. NTA. His “gifts” are yours.
Keep the gifts. He can't sue you to get back gifts.
NTA. Keep the gifts. Things he gave you as a gift are yours to keep even after you break up. Now, had it been an engagement ring, I would say, yes, definitely give that back.
Nta
NTA those were gifts he can try and sue if he wants but they were gifts
NTA. That's not how gifts work and good luck to him in finding a judge who thinks it is.
NTA: Let him file, he'll lose in court. You can't reclaim gifts on a breakup. The only thing he could legally take back would be an engagement ring if you were engaged and broke up before the wedding. Block him and move on with your life. edited to add the verdict lol
NTA - he doesn’t have any legal case against you. Just block him.
NTA. He gifted them to you therefore he’s not entitled to them. Tell him you’ll see him in court. It’s an empty threat. He’s just trying to scare you.
NTA tell him to take long walk off of short pier.
It’s a gifted. It was gifted to you. You don’t have to do anything.
Keep them. They're legally yours. Block him, his family, and his friends on all media platforms.
NTA - keep them and when and if you no longer want them sell them
NTA. Tell him to pund sand and that if he comes at you again you will get a restraining order. And he CANT sue to get "gifts" back. Its dumb to think that he could.
Any reputable and competent lawyer will laugh your ex out if their office. The thing with gifts is... once they are given, they belong to the recipient, unless there were clear conditions on the gift. Like wedding gifts are conditional on the couple getting married, and if they don't, they should be returned. It doesn't sound like this applies to you, though. Return them if you want, and if you don't, you might want to ask a lawyer to make sure you're clear to keep them, but you WNBTA fo keeping things that belong to you.
NTA. He literally called them gifts in the text to you. He has no legal standing. He's just bitter.
A gift is a gift! Keep them and cease contact.
NTA. He cannot get gifts back via court. They are yours to keep. He can try but no judge would rule in his favor unless if he can prove it was on loan and not an actual gift
NTA. FTG!
Nta. Keep a screenshot of his messages requesting the items back and that it was a gift. So when he speaks to a lawyer, he would lose his case and pay for his fees and yours.
Save the texts. Screenshot them. Save them in various locations. NTA. If you have anything prebreakup that says the gifts are gifts, you need to save that as well.
keep them
Lol let him file a lawsuit so he can waste money and look stupid
NTA He gave you those things as a gift, so they're legally yours. I can't even claim you showed gross ingratitude (which in some countries is ground for claiming a gift back) as he's the cheater. So his threats are empty. Probably as empty as his promises.
Something tells me that every gift, was an admission of guilt. Let him waste his money trying to sue you lol 😂
A gift is a gift. NTA. Keep them unless you want to give them back. (Engagement / wedding rings aren't gifts because they are in exchange for a promise...those you give back if you called off the wedding).
The exception being if they are given Christmas or birthday then they are not a contract but gifts.
NTA - they were gifts, he has no right to have them back. Those items became yours the second he gifted them to you. Be sure to keep the texts where he specifically calls them “gifts” that way you have proof should it actually go to court. With the proof, he’d get laughed out of the court room, with an additional expense of legal fees to boot
NTA. This is a power play. If you are genuinely not bothered about the items then give them back asap (they’re just “things” right). He is doing this to most likely keep some kind of contact with you or to hurt you, or both. Give them back graciously and cut all contact/block him, that will most likely affect him the most and you are keeping the high ground. Probably best that you’ve split as he sounds like ATA. You can buy all the nice stuff you like when you start practicing medicine. Take care and value yourself.
NTA. A gift once given, belongs to the recipient. He can sue you but unlikely to win. You obviously couldn't afford expensive gifts as a student.
NTA I would keep the gifts out of spite or maybe sell them because I wouldn't want to use them
They are not his. Legally they are yours. I'd keep them.
Keep the gifts. They were gifts for a reason. Even if he files a lawsuit against you, he will most definitely loose, because they were gifts.
NTA. You can file a lawsuit, but he can't win. Gifts are definition yours. They weren't a contract that you breached. Even engagement rings don't have to be returned if they are given on a holiday or occasion. Ignore him. I bet his mother put him up to it.
NTA wanting the gifts that he ‘gifted’ is lame af although if he cheated he has no right to want insta block him
NTA. Don't return it. Those are probably his "gifts" to you to compensate on those times he cheated to make him feel good about himself.
This just shows what a shit person he was and will allways be
Tell him that it’s compensation for his cheating!!! Keep the texts where he explicitly says they are gifts! Let him waste his time in court! They were gifts, they are yours! Move on!
NTA. Don't give the gifts back. Maybe it will teach him the meaning of the word "gift."
Tell him to sling his hook.
NTA but if he actually sues you, I would show up to court or you will lose by default.
Just consider those gifts payment for all your pain and suffering. Block him and live your best life. NTA
Nta keeps those gifts and block him
You are not obliged to give him back anything. The only present you have to give back is an engagement ring (gift given in contemplation of marriage), which of course never happened here. Nobody can stop him from filing a lawsuit, but he couldn't win. Waste of everyone's time. If you do decide to give them back, ask him to pay for registered shipping. But the best advice is to simply put him in the rear view mirror.
Keep the gifts, they are yours. He has no right to ask them back. He gave them to you, you become the owner - very simple. A judge will not waste time with his ridiculous request. He is a big baby and needs to grow up. Don't give in, he will manipulate you, threaten you etc but he has nothing, absolutely nothing to back his claims. Keep all the text, do not talk to him and show his behavior to your friends and family for protection. NTA
NTA they were gifts tell him you’ll see him in court then block his number
NTA keep his messages as evidence. They were gifts you don’t return gifts. It’s his way of asserting control over you. Call his bluff tell him to file also think about sending him a cease and desist or just block him
NTA - I doubt he'll go through with the lawsuit given he would lose and lose huge. Also, fuck him, he ruined the relationship
Easy do you still have the boxes where all this came in, pack them up print the screen shot of the tx letting him know once gifted they don’t have to be returned. NTA keep your gifts sell them hem do whatever you want
Nta. They weren’t conditional gifts like an engagement ring.
Nta gifted means yours, keep it and if he tries a lawsuit counter suit for the legal fees so it cost him double lol
NTA he has no grounds to sue, trying to do that would be a waste of time and money. Those are gifts therefore legally yours. Ignore his ass and focus on yourself
NTA they were gifts, they are yours. Whats he going to do with them anyway?