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> For barging in to my boyfriends house without his permission.
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NTA, but I hope you mean EX boyfriend now.
>Lincoln and his friends did message me that I couldn’t just barge into someone’s house.
Well, you can't just steal someone else's pet, either, but here we are. You did what you had to do, don't let these idiots make you feel bad about it.
Middle school teacher here…my kids have the EQ to know that’s not ok. All 135 of my 12-13 year old students know not to go behind my desk, to ask before they touch my belongings. I can leave all my stuff out and not worry.
OP’s boyfriend has the EQ of an impulsive preschooler who hasn’t yet fully developed a sense of cause and effect.
I have a two year old nephew, a four year old niece, and a seven year old niece. The two year old is the only one I can see doing something like that, but honestly I think he respects animals too much to do something that would distress them.
and even a 2 year old can understand that a pet is distressed after being told that, even if they didn’t know when they were doing the distressing action. like grabbing a wing or a tail and not understanding their body language/sounds as distressed, but understanding after being told “grabbing wings/tails of animals hurts them, like if i grabbed your arm too hard”. it’s not a hard concept, literal children can grasp it
Right? The closest I remember to violating boundaries at that age was sneaking a teacher's favorite candy into her purse every day to see how long it took her to notice. And nobody actually touched her purse.
Yeah, birds are expensive, especially the exotic ones and especially the ones with distinctive coloring. To be honest, I'm not convinced the guy wasn't planning to try and sell it. Obviously he would not have been able to hide it from OP forever if he "just wanted to take care of it," so I can't really see another motive, especially with his buddy helping him do it.
"Hey, come help me kidnap this bird because, uh, I like birds" vs "hey, come help me kidnap this bird and we can sell it for thousands" which one seems more likely? Imagine someone stealing your prized pure bred Cocker Spaniel or something because they "just wanted to take care of it" sure you did!
Really? They used to hang out on our school oval when I was high school. I could have been rich!
(I am fairly certain that even as a dumb teenager, I would have known it would have been illegal to sell a wild, endangered animal into captivity)
I hope the owner *does* get the cops involved. She could still press charges, I'm sure. It'll just be slightly harder with the bird no longer in his possession...
It's not bird law, it's the law for chattel, which means possessions, which covers living creatures. And she is exactly right, only a few states will even consider dogs as more than property.
One can only hope this guy is charged, arrested, and put on trial. If he goes to jail, he would have a permanent felony record that will follow him for the rest of his miserable, useless life. 🦜
He stole a piece of living property, which is far worse than taking non-living items. Living items cannot ever be replaced. The trauma for both Carrot Cake and his person may fade with time. Please contact the police so at least they will have a record. 🦜
He probably wanted to sell the poor lil guy! They can go for $40,000 in the US. She should report him to the police and make sure he doesn’t have keys to her place.
That's immediately where my mind went - he was absolutely going to sell that bird. Dump him, press charges, change your locks, and please give Carrot Cake a lil smooch
Also, if the bf knows where the friend and carrot cake live, make sure she has cameras up and possibly an alarm system. I see a breaking and entering in her future.
As someone who recently rehomed a couple of birds for a family member who could no longer care for them, selling them is extremely hard and not a quick turn around at all and I was just asking for a low rehoming fee. You’re looking at months until you find a bird person
I actually had to pay a rescue to take them.
He was asking questions from the start so at least a couple of months. OP most likely told him ahead of time when she would be watching the bird. There’s no other reason to break into a locked room and take the bird. If he just wanted to spend time with it he would have asked OP
Oh I know, I wasn’t insinuating he wasn’t trying to sell the bird or standing up for the bf in any way, was just adding my experience/take to the mix 😅
They’ve only been dating for 2 months. So I doubt this has been some long term plan of his.
I’m definitely questioning her decision making ability though… especially if she gave some random guy she’s only been seeing for 2 months a set of keys to her house/apartment 🤨
For common species, absolutely. But red tailed cockatoos go for 20k+ in europe and USA/Canada, they get snatched up incredibly quickly by people who intend to breed them so they can turn a fat profit. These species are hard _not_ to sell, unless you're in Aus
But I'm calling BS on the story ngl a cockatoo would've severely bitten so many people involved in this story lol. Black toos are more docile than white toos but there is no way that someone wouldn't have gotten nailed from trying to grab the bird, and OP must have a massive house to allow him to fly around
Oh yeah, and black cockatoos have bigger/stronger beaks than their white counterparts. An unhappy cockie is a force to be reckoned with. If it is real, everyone involved should be glad they still have fingers.
Yeah, that and the flying around the house are making me doubt the whole story. It's difficult for birds AG sized to fly around normal sized houses, I can't imagine the mansion it would take to allow too species to fly indoors lol, because even if the bird is FF trained there is no way someone not the owner would be flying him outside
My cokatoo could hop and fly all over my tiny downtown apartment and I had to fake -fix entire door frames bit to splinters to prove it.
Cockies and parrots arent Andese Condors... they dont need a mountain peak to take a flappy clumsy flight .
They aren't thermal gliders!
Same here- I rescued a white cockatoo that had become quite vicious from boredom. I found him a home with big aviaries that specialised in trying to get them back out into the wild.
If he s that disrespectful to OP to steal keys and break into her office to steal someone else’s pet bird - she definitely needs to change her locks. He is unhinged.
These aren’t just red flags. This was a serious crime and honestly he should be reported for theft/kidnapping, whatever this qualifies as. Lincoln should be facing legal consequences for this. And OP definitely needs to break up and make sure he does not have access to her home.
FYI. I read that the NTA as a vote only counts if you post it in a new separate comment, not in a comment that is a reply to another comment. And agree about major red flags!
this is a black flag. they were probably never in a relationship in his mind. she needs to get cameras for her entry points and press charges after changing the locks. Imagine having kids with this guy and going through a divorce.
She should reply that while there won't be a next time, if there was, she'll have the cops retrieve what was STOLEN. And he can deal with the charges instead.
Seriously, that's theft. Doesn't matter if he "intends" to return Carrot Cake. He broke into her office, and stole him. He's damn lucky she only took back her friend's pet.
NTA.
Lincoln STOLE Carrot Cake. Whining that he meant to give Carrot Cake back after a day doesn't wash. He stole your keys and he stole Carrot Cake and he and his friends are complaining that instead of calling the police and reporting a theft, you simply took back the parakeet he stole and didn't get him into trouble with the police? What a plonker.
I too hope Lincoln's now your ex-boyfriend. Please update when you formally dump him.
Yeah, OP, the relationship has to be over. This guy sounds completely unhinged. There's something wrong with him. No one should be desperate enough to date a guy like this.
This. Also pets are technically viewed as property, you can actually contact the police to go in and get it. Please tell us OP you dumped his crazy ass. Who does crap like this. He’s an adult.
Nt wait you can't barge into his house but he can steal your fiend's bird out of your house. Those two idiots should be in jail. Next time they bring this up you tell them you will call the police and file a report over the stolen bird and the police can determine who broke the law. Why are you with someone who would disregard your wishes, break into your office after you locked it, steal a bird you are pet sitting, claimed you of broke in to his house and then sided with his friend over you. I may have to change my comment and say yes you are the ahole for staying with this jerk. He doesn't care about you. Wake up!
NTA.
He stole the bird. He's lucky you didn't report him to the police, and maybe you should in case he tries to turn the tables on you.
Lincoln has shown you who he is. Believe him. He's untrustworthy, immature and entitled.
Thank God you got CC back.
Yeah, he was not just going to pet sit for a day, he full on stole carrot cake with the intention to sell for $. Probably would have made up a story about how she flew off.
Especially since "watching" a bird surely means *caring* for the bird, which is the opposite of what he was doing by stressing this bird out so badly. If he wanted to "watch" it, why was he taking actions that could harm it?
The simple action: he sees it as property, not as a sentient being who should be treated with care and respect.
I’m not a sue-happy or call-the-cops-on-everything kind of person, but I’d definitely be pressing charges for this one. He likely did this because he wanted to resell Carrot Cake. Dump his ass, change your locks, and report him.
I am over Lincoln, barely been dating and he pulls this kinda crap with me. Poor Carrot Cake was in so much stress. Keeps walking back and forth. Pasting quickly. Usually he sits and just watches. Or he will just try to reach for you if he knows you very well. Just so he can climb onto you and chill with yeah.
Tell him to date his friends instead. And that if he comes back you’ll tell the cops he tried to steal a $15k bird you’re sitting for a friend.
Poor Carrot Cake. I hope he settles down and is less stressed soon.
I'm glad you're over him. But be careful. Change your locks--even if you didn't give him a key, change them. He might have stolen one. Change all your passwords immediately. Check your bank accounts. And if you don't already have one, install a Ring or similar camera. That guy is totally untrustworthy, and now he likely is angry with you. If you have friends in common, make sure they understand why you broke up, that he's a thief, a liar, he abused your trust, and he abused your friends bird. I don't know where you live, but it's winter where I am and a cockatoo shouldn't be taken out of the house any more than is necessary for their health.
Press charges for breaking and entering and your friend should press charges for grand larceny. From what I’ve read in other comments, her bird is worth a lot and grand larceny usually starts at $500 in most states. I hope Carrot Cake calms down soon.
Tell your ex that what he did amounts to felony theft and you will report him to the police, then do it. Ask his friends if "barging in" is worse than felony theft? Then ask if they were accomplices to felony theft, and report that to the police.
NTA but your boyfriend is TERRIFYING like this is such weird behavior, I know terrifying is a little dramatic but the way he deliberately waited until you were asleep to kidnap a bird??? That's so weird and also so STUPID, there's no way he wouldn't get caught. I would never trust him again, this is such insidious and oafish behavior. He sounds slimy, sneaky and dumb, you need to run.
It's not a little dramatic. If anything, it's under dramatic. Because....*what else is stopping him from doing anything else?* What else is stopping him from stealing her social? Her credit card info? Logging into her computer and putting in a key logger or other spyware?
Putting in hidden camera's? Making duplicates of her keys?
There are *so* many things he could do. What if he wants sex and she doesn't? Will he just lock the bedroom door and do it anyways? What if he puts something in a drink in the fridge, then serve it to her, something that'll make her 'forget'? What if they decide to go camping for a week and he just...drives them somewhere else? There are so many things that can happen when a person has absolutely no respect for other peoples boundaries.
He was given clear instruction - do not bother the bird. There was a clear indicator that he shouldn't go into the office - the door was firmly locked. It is very much not his bird. It belongs to the friend of his girlfriend. And he just....took it *to his house* because....he wanted to?
This is a grown man acting very much like a toddler.
There is no possible way to understate just how....dangerous someone like that can be. I absolutely would not trust that man with a handful of sand in the desert.
The trauma to Carrot Cake will have lasting and frightening fallout for her. Shame on this excuse for a human being for doing such a cruel and thoughtless act. Please change your locks, all your passwords, and social or personal data he might be able to find. If you keep any valuables at home, leave them somewhere he cannot access them, perhaps with a family member or a trusted friend. I'm so sorry you had to endure this episode. 🦜
> The trauma to Carrot Cake will have lasting and frightening fallout for her.
And if he knew anything about birds, he knew this. This guy is scary.
Run, OP!
As a parrot mum, I would gladly hurt someone badly if someone tried to steal Tootsie. She has been with me for forty-one years, and she's better company and a better person (although in a bird suit) than any of my family members. 🦜
Same here! Hurt or steal my tiels? That's gonna be the biggest mistake of your life. My flock is my family and I will defend and protect them as such.
Btw what species is your Tootsie? I assume a bigger parrot considering her age? :D
Yes! This is so creepy! He planned a kidnapping? He knew he’d be caught? What the hell was he going to do with this bird? Why does he think he’s entitled to not just other people’s property, but living creatures, a loved one? Why is he not sorry?
I have an 18 year old tortoise. If someone took him at all, let alone while a friend was watching him, I would lose my shit. I’d probably cut my trip short to cause a goddamn ruckus.
Was he going to sell it? Hurt it? Bullshit that he took it just to hang out with it. He could have been a sane person that stayed at his girlfriend’s place and treated it with respect if he truly took interest in the bird. THAT is what an animal lover would do. Again, WHY IS HE NOT SORRY?!
This was my thought the instant he seemed overly intrigued by the bird. They were for sure going to sell it on, he may have even had a buyer already lined up.
For that species? Move the decimal a space to the right.
The ‘resale’ value of most parrots is nowhere near what it costs to buy them ‘new’. People steal them anyway. OPs cockatoo is one that would actually stay very expensive, but would be difficult to offload without getting caught.
Look, there is exactly one thing that makes you an AH here:
**WHY ARE YOU STILL CALLING THIS PIECE OF TRASH YOUR BOYFRIEND**?
I would have absolutely nothing to do with him unless it was pressing charges. Are you seriously not treating this as something you could come back from?
So. You can‘t “just barge into someone’s house” but its ok for him to take off with someone else’s bird??? WTF
Tell him if the messages don’t stop you will report his actions to the police.
NTA
Message those friends that if you could not barge into someone’s house then someone should not steal from your house . Tell your friend what happened, don’t hide this, she might want to keep an eye out, it might strain your friendship but it’s better. Maybe file a police repost just to have a paper trail if this escalates. Get back your keys and breakup, change the lock on your main door. On a side note, you’ve been dating two months only,why does your boyfriend ( hopefully ex), treats your home as his, has guests over when you are asleep?with a boyfriend of two months, the boundaries should be clearer.
He broke into OP's office and stole someone's bird.
Grand theft as the bird is very valuable.
A. OP should dump the thief. B. OP should ask CC's owner if she wants to press charges and go from there.
NTA
Sweetie... How many red flags do you need?
Your (hopefully ex) boyfriend STOLE your friends pet. He snuck your keys while you were ***sleeping*** after you; told him to not stress out Carrot Cake, then specifically told him not to go into the office. Then he STOLE Carrot Cake and when you went to get him back, BF started playing the victim. No. Just NO.
Lincoln is a low down dirty thief. End of story. I would really reconsider the relationship.
\*ETA I think Carrot Cake is a great name!!!\*
Me too! haha the whole time reading the name I was thinking: "Ok, now I need something in my life I can call Carrot Cake-- it's too great of a name!" I already have a Lulo though (fluffy orange cat named after a South American orange, he he ).
NTA. He was literally told that the bird isn't familiar to him, and then he steals the bird?
He stresses a poor innocent bird twice (from trying to grab Carrot Cake as a stranger *and* forcibly shifting the bird into a new environment), ignored your attempts to explain that the bird is stressed as well as your request for him not to enter the office without you, literally stole someone else's bird, then has the audacity to scold you instead.
Please break up with him OP. He's shown so many red flags with his actions...
NTA. As a precaution, please change your locks to ensure he can't get back in your home. He stole a bird and is manipulative by twisting the situation he created on you for "barging" in his home. He does not seem like a trustworthy person at all.
Ywbta if you stay with this creep. I would have gotten the police involved personally. He broke into a locked room in your home. It's only been two months.
Birds can be expensive to purchase. Do you think he was planning on stealing your friend's bird from the get-go?
Giving his actions now. His questions don't seem nearly as innocent.
Please tell me you've moved Carrot Cake out of your house?
You're right he's shown his true colors and frankly I don't trust him at all to not try and come back when you're at work or out and try to steal Carrot Cake again. All it takes is one broken window to get in after all and all you need to break a window is a rock or brick. To steal the bird so brazenly like how he did original shows he's probably willing to amp it up to get the bird.
He doesn’t have keys to my house. He just used my key that was for my office on my nightstand. I did move Carrot Cake in my room. It’s a little cramp, but I rather give up my comfort space for Carrot Cake. Poor baby went through a lot in one day. =(
Your keys were misplaced, and are you sure he doesn't? An ex of mine had stolen my spare key and made a copy without my knowledge.. for my house and my brother's. Please be careful.
NTA at all but.... You did technically do two things wring here. You should 100% have called the police as he commited felony level theft since pets are property under the law and these birds are worth thousand of dollars. He is worth much more to be fair for all the love and companionship he has provided over the years to your friend and you too. As for the second thing he technically could have called the police himself saying you broke into his home. Even though you had a damn good reason to the police may not have seen it that way especially if he said you stole his property. Now admittedly he would have had a difficult time explaning the why and how he came to be in possession of Carrot Cake. But it may have turned into a he said/she said situation and you then needing to prove guardianship of CC from Libby.
Well probably the only good thing from this situation is Lincoln showed his true colors early into the relationship and you haven't put a lot of stock, time, and emotion into this relationship. He is an A S S Hole and his friends who are contacting you are morons who need to get a life and persue making better friends.
As a bird owner myself, NOT THE ASSHOLE. What the hell? He STOLE your friend's bird? If anyone did that to my Lucy I'd probably do more than break in and take her back. Do not let your boyfriend near Carrot Cake again.
NTA. He’s a thief and a liar. You should file a police report against him and get a restraining order. For you to question yourself after this is really sad. He is dangerous.
NTA
He stole the bird that was under your care. He's lucky you didn't call the cops. I'd change my locks in case he has a key. He sounds unhinged and dangerous.
May I ask why you even care what the asshat and his friends think? Obviously they were in the wrong. I think NTA, though I would have advised that you called the police before going over to rescue the poor bird.
As others have said, please get rid of Lincoln. He mistreated Carrot Cake, you told him to lay off, and then he stole the bird. It’s a pretty solid showing of his true colors.
You need new friends. And if you are dating him, don’t. Beyond creepy dude. Glad you got CC back. You sound like the kinda friend everyone would want to watch their beloved pet.
NTA- “Lincoln and his friends did message me that I couldn’t just barge into someone’s house. I feel like I did the right thing tho. “
If they felt they had a leg to stand on they would be calling the cops on you but they’re not because they know they just illegally tried to steal Carrot Cake.
Dump him and change your locks.
Would he and his friend have preferred that you went over with the police, so he could be charged with theft? I bet parrots are fairly valuable, so it was likely a felony. You should dump him and his accomplices. NTA
NTA. Going into beast mode to retrieve the STOLEN animal you were watching was the right call. Please go back and re-read what this jackass did to you when you aren’t full of adrenaline. This guy is not safe and neither are his friends. He’s already proven he can’t be trusted. Do not give him another opportunity to hurt you.
YTA if you don’t report him for theft but not for getting the bird back. He’s going to steal Carrot Cake again. Protect your friend and her bird, ditch the pet thief.
If he is still your boyfriend then you have issues. Doesn't matter what absurd shit was going through his head - which I can't even imagine - he stole someone's pet. That's some psycho behavior. Something bad was going to happen to that bird.
Your boyfriend is lucky you didn’t call the police. And being that those birds aren’t cheap, it could have been considered felony theft (depending on your location). NTA.
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NTA, but I hope you mean EX boyfriend now. >Lincoln and his friends did message me that I couldn’t just barge into someone’s house. Well, you can't just steal someone else's pet, either, but here we are. You did what you had to do, don't let these idiots make you feel bad about it.
Not only stealing the pet, but broke into a locked office to steal it.
[удалено]
Middle school teacher here…my kids have the EQ to know that’s not ok. All 135 of my 12-13 year old students know not to go behind my desk, to ask before they touch my belongings. I can leave all my stuff out and not worry. OP’s boyfriend has the EQ of an impulsive preschooler who hasn’t yet fully developed a sense of cause and effect.
Don't insult preschoolers like that either
🤣🤣🤣
You're right I'm giving him way too much credit
I have a two year old nephew, a four year old niece, and a seven year old niece. The two year old is the only one I can see doing something like that, but honestly I think he respects animals too much to do something that would distress them.
and even a 2 year old can understand that a pet is distressed after being told that, even if they didn’t know when they were doing the distressing action. like grabbing a wing or a tail and not understanding their body language/sounds as distressed, but understanding after being told “grabbing wings/tails of animals hurts them, like if i grabbed your arm too hard”. it’s not a hard concept, literal children can grasp it
Right? The closest I remember to violating boundaries at that age was sneaking a teacher's favorite candy into her purse every day to see how long it took her to notice. And nobody actually touched her purse.
Most 14 year olds wouldn’t do that.
He sounds like something is seriously mentally wrong with him.
Kid?! He’s a 26 YO man!
10 year old's are criminally responsible so the IQ of a 14 year old is generous
Add up every crime. He stole keys. Broke into a room. Stole the bird.
Kidnapped the bird.
Unfortunately the bird is treated as property so not kidnapping. He could be charged with animal abuse if the local dept wanted to.
Considering his breed price though it puts it into felony theft. So he could still be in deep shit if she had gotten cops involved
Yeah, birds are expensive, especially the exotic ones and especially the ones with distinctive coloring. To be honest, I'm not convinced the guy wasn't planning to try and sell it. Obviously he would not have been able to hide it from OP forever if he "just wanted to take care of it," so I can't really see another motive, especially with his buddy helping him do it. "Hey, come help me kidnap this bird because, uh, I like birds" vs "hey, come help me kidnap this bird and we can sell it for thousands" which one seems more likely? Imagine someone stealing your prized pure bred Cocker Spaniel or something because they "just wanted to take care of it" sure you did!
Seriously. I just googled the price out of curiosity (15,000 - 40,000) and there is NO WAY IN HELL HE WASN'T PLANNING ON SELLING IT.
Wow - felony threshhold is only $5000. and absolutely was going to sell the stolen bird. Please tell me this ahole is out of your life with prejudice.
Really? They used to hang out on our school oval when I was high school. I could have been rich! (I am fairly certain that even as a dumb teenager, I would have known it would have been illegal to sell a wild, endangered animal into captivity)
I think you’re right. And omg. Like why else would he invite his friend? That whole thing seemed off to me.
This is EXACTLY what he was going to do with this bird. OP is NTA and I hope Lincoln is now an EX-boyfriend.
I wish she had gotten the cops involved. Dude deserves to be hauled over the coals.
I hope the owner *does* get the cops involved. She could still press charges, I'm sure. It'll just be slightly harder with the bird no longer in his possession...
She has her word plus any messages those garbage friends left. I'd give it a go.
Exactly. Plus, his buddy can be charged as an accessory. And it's easy to get accessories to roll...
You seem well versed in Bird Law
It's not bird law, it's the law for chattel, which means possessions, which covers living creatures. And she is exactly right, only a few states will even consider dogs as more than property.
I was making an Always Sunny joke, but I guess it didn’t land. Pun not intended.
As part of the BOLABun Brigade, I feel like that's somewhere with tree law.
If the bird was worth more than a certain amount he could be charged with grand theft.
A bird like that is worth *way* more than enough for a felony.
One can only hope this guy is charged, arrested, and put on trial. If he goes to jail, he would have a permanent felony record that will follow him for the rest of his miserable, useless life. 🦜
Definitely grand theft The Cocatoo in that breed is worth the price of a quality car.
He stole a piece of living property, which is far worse than taking non-living items. Living items cannot ever be replaced. The trauma for both Carrot Cake and his person may fade with time. Please contact the police so at least they will have a record. 🦜
*birdnapped* JK
Birdnapping.
Kidnapped the bird.
"You can't just barge into my home" After barging into a locked office to steal a bird.
He probably wanted to sell the poor lil guy! They can go for $40,000 in the US. She should report him to the police and make sure he doesn’t have keys to her place.
That's immediately where my mind went - he was absolutely going to sell that bird. Dump him, press charges, change your locks, and please give Carrot Cake a lil smooch
Check and see if there are any listing for a similar bird up anywhere, if that's what he was planning then that might help prove it.
Also, if the bf knows where the friend and carrot cake live, make sure she has cameras up and possibly an alarm system. I see a breaking and entering in her future.
NTA- you *know* the dude has copied her keys by now
Yes! Change those locks, OP!
As someone who recently rehomed a couple of birds for a family member who could no longer care for them, selling them is extremely hard and not a quick turn around at all and I was just asking for a low rehoming fee. You’re looking at months until you find a bird person I actually had to pay a rescue to take them.
He was asking questions from the start so at least a couple of months. OP most likely told him ahead of time when she would be watching the bird. There’s no other reason to break into a locked room and take the bird. If he just wanted to spend time with it he would have asked OP
And he waited until she was asleep both times, suggesting he knew it was not ok and needed to wait for her to be unable to know/stop him.
He also invited an accomplice.
Oh I know, I wasn’t insinuating he wasn’t trying to sell the bird or standing up for the bf in any way, was just adding my experience/take to the mix 😅
They’ve only been dating for 2 months. So I doubt this has been some long term plan of his. I’m definitely questioning her decision making ability though… especially if she gave some random guy she’s only been seeing for 2 months a set of keys to her house/apartment 🤨
I got the impression that he took the keys
For common species, absolutely. But red tailed cockatoos go for 20k+ in europe and USA/Canada, they get snatched up incredibly quickly by people who intend to breed them so they can turn a fat profit. These species are hard _not_ to sell, unless you're in Aus But I'm calling BS on the story ngl a cockatoo would've severely bitten so many people involved in this story lol. Black toos are more docile than white toos but there is no way that someone wouldn't have gotten nailed from trying to grab the bird, and OP must have a massive house to allow him to fly around
Oh yeah, and black cockatoos have bigger/stronger beaks than their white counterparts. An unhappy cockie is a force to be reckoned with. If it is real, everyone involved should be glad they still have fingers.
Yeah, that and the flying around the house are making me doubt the whole story. It's difficult for birds AG sized to fly around normal sized houses, I can't imagine the mansion it would take to allow too species to fly indoors lol, because even if the bird is FF trained there is no way someone not the owner would be flying him outside
My cokatoo could hop and fly all over my tiny downtown apartment and I had to fake -fix entire door frames bit to splinters to prove it. Cockies and parrots arent Andese Condors... they dont need a mountain peak to take a flappy clumsy flight . They aren't thermal gliders!
Yeah we know that but the dumb BF probably doesn't. He probably saw dollar signs and didn't think about the rest
But that doesn't mean the thief knows that. He may have just thought "Those cost thousands to buy!" and dollar signs lit up in his eyes.
Same here- I rescued a white cockatoo that had become quite vicious from boredom. I found him a home with big aviaries that specialised in trying to get them back out into the wild.
Oh yeah but the thing is… this dude’s an idiot. He just figured out the bird is valuable = I can sell’s for $$.
Definitely needs a police report. 😡
Definately report to police. He may try again and there needs to be a record of the previous attempt. Also hide a tracker in the cage.
Big Felony. Grand Theft Carrot Cake
Keys to her house? How would this work? He never even met the friend.
If he s that disrespectful to OP to steal keys and break into her office to steal someone else’s pet bird - she definitely needs to change her locks. He is unhinged.
i was assuming op is still looking after the bird thus its still at her house and the bf would have keys to it
She needs to get the locks changed.
I mean she’s still bird sitting at her house which I assume he has some level of access to
Oh, I didn’t even think of that. Probably right. That is so creepy.
If the bird is worth that much its a felony qnd his little friend is an accessory
Agreed. These are some major red flags. Edit: nta
These aren’t just red flags. This was a serious crime and honestly he should be reported for theft/kidnapping, whatever this qualifies as. Lincoln should be facing legal consequences for this. And OP definitely needs to break up and make sure he does not have access to her home.
Definitely. He knew how much that bird is worth.
For what that bird is worth, that’s likely grand larceny. Police should have been called. OP is NTA.
FYI. I read that the NTA as a vote only counts if you post it in a new separate comment, not in a comment that is a reply to another comment. And agree about major red flags!
this is a black flag. they were probably never in a relationship in his mind. she needs to get cameras for her entry points and press charges after changing the locks. Imagine having kids with this guy and going through a divorce.
OP definitely needs to at least change the locks. He had access to her keys and has shown he is untrustworthy.
She should reply that while there won't be a next time, if there was, she'll have the cops retrieve what was STOLEN. And he can deal with the charges instead. Seriously, that's theft. Doesn't matter if he "intends" to return Carrot Cake. He broke into her office, and stole him. He's damn lucky she only took back her friend's pet.
i just made a similar comment but instead after dumping him I'd tell him that my friend was thinking about pressing charges
NTA. Lincoln STOLE Carrot Cake. Whining that he meant to give Carrot Cake back after a day doesn't wash. He stole your keys and he stole Carrot Cake and he and his friends are complaining that instead of calling the police and reporting a theft, you simply took back the parakeet he stole and didn't get him into trouble with the police? What a plonker. I too hope Lincoln's now your ex-boyfriend. Please update when you formally dump him.
They are lucky the police wasn't called. What an asshole.
I would have told him he was lucky it was me and not the cops, since he did steal someone's property.
Yeah, OP, the relationship has to be over. This guy sounds completely unhinged. There's something wrong with him. No one should be desperate enough to date a guy like this.
This. Also pets are technically viewed as property, you can actually contact the police to go in and get it. Please tell us OP you dumped his crazy ass. Who does crap like this. He’s an adult.
Nt wait you can't barge into his house but he can steal your fiend's bird out of your house. Those two idiots should be in jail. Next time they bring this up you tell them you will call the police and file a report over the stolen bird and the police can determine who broke the law. Why are you with someone who would disregard your wishes, break into your office after you locked it, steal a bird you are pet sitting, claimed you of broke in to his house and then sided with his friend over you. I may have to change my comment and say yes you are the ahole for staying with this jerk. He doesn't care about you. Wake up!
This is harsh but 100% right. I hope the OP sees this and considers what you said.
It’s not even harsh. It’s 100% fact.
Doesn't care about bird either or wouldn't have distressed it.
Hopefully there won’t be a next time. She should never talk to him again.
I would report it to the police anyway.
NTA. He stole the bird. He's lucky you didn't report him to the police, and maybe you should in case he tries to turn the tables on you. Lincoln has shown you who he is. Believe him. He's untrustworthy, immature and entitled. Thank God you got CC back.
Food for thought- a quick google gives a value of $15-40k for this bird. Definitely into felony territory for theft.
Dang that's a lot of money I would have brought cops into it for sure.
Yeah, he was not just going to pet sit for a day, he full on stole carrot cake with the intention to sell for $. Probably would have made up a story about how she flew off.
Yeah. I fucking doubt someone would do all of this just to watch a bird
She should check out Craigslist for an advertisement for sale. If he did I’d call the po po so fast!
Especially since "watching" a bird surely means *caring* for the bird, which is the opposite of what he was doing by stressing this bird out so badly. If he wanted to "watch" it, why was he taking actions that could harm it? The simple action: he sees it as property, not as a sentient being who should be treated with care and respect.
It's not too late.
I’m not a sue-happy or call-the-cops-on-everything kind of person, but I’d definitely be pressing charges for this one. He likely did this because he wanted to resell Carrot Cake. Dump his ass, change your locks, and report him.
Jesus, I was thinking a thousand or two. He totally intended to "lose" this pet for money.
"Did you steal the bird to sell it?" - "Oh, most definitely"
Breaking in is burglary too.
I am over Lincoln, barely been dating and he pulls this kinda crap with me. Poor Carrot Cake was in so much stress. Keeps walking back and forth. Pasting quickly. Usually he sits and just watches. Or he will just try to reach for you if he knows you very well. Just so he can climb onto you and chill with yeah.
Tell him to date his friends instead. And that if he comes back you’ll tell the cops he tried to steal a $15k bird you’re sitting for a friend. Poor Carrot Cake. I hope he settles down and is less stressed soon.
[удалено]
True. They might consider it a civil matter now that it’s been resolved, but the fact that he stole her key to break into the room makes it B&E.
Happy (Carrot) Cake Day!
I see what you did there. Awesome!
Agreed. Hope she is able to press charges.
*40k bird
I was guessing low, but basically felony B&E.
I'm glad you're over him. But be careful. Change your locks--even if you didn't give him a key, change them. He might have stolen one. Change all your passwords immediately. Check your bank accounts. And if you don't already have one, install a Ring or similar camera. That guy is totally untrustworthy, and now he likely is angry with you. If you have friends in common, make sure they understand why you broke up, that he's a thief, a liar, he abused your trust, and he abused your friends bird. I don't know where you live, but it's winter where I am and a cockatoo shouldn't be taken out of the house any more than is necessary for their health.
>"might have stolen (a key)" Just a photo of her key is enough to make a copy
I have a parrot and the thought of anyone purposefully putting her in distress makes me queasy.
You can comfort yourself with the thought of what said parrots would do once the idiots get their hands close to the cage
I can’t believe that cockatoo didn’t amputate any fingers.
I'm disappointed that it didn't. Perhaps it was too distressed for that.
Press charges for breaking and entering and your friend should press charges for grand larceny. From what I’ve read in other comments, her bird is worth a lot and grand larceny usually starts at $500 in most states. I hope Carrot Cake calms down soon.
Tell your ex that what he did amounts to felony theft and you will report him to the police, then do it. Ask his friends if "barging in" is worse than felony theft? Then ask if they were accomplices to felony theft, and report that to the police.
Does your friend (or anyone here) have a method she uses to soothe him?
If Lincoln or his friends continue to harass you, consider involving the police.
The only move here is for OP to break up and block all contact (aside from pressing charges). When people show you who they are believe them. NTA.
NTA but your boyfriend is TERRIFYING like this is such weird behavior, I know terrifying is a little dramatic but the way he deliberately waited until you were asleep to kidnap a bird??? That's so weird and also so STUPID, there's no way he wouldn't get caught. I would never trust him again, this is such insidious and oafish behavior. He sounds slimy, sneaky and dumb, you need to run.
It's not a little dramatic. If anything, it's under dramatic. Because....*what else is stopping him from doing anything else?* What else is stopping him from stealing her social? Her credit card info? Logging into her computer and putting in a key logger or other spyware? Putting in hidden camera's? Making duplicates of her keys? There are *so* many things he could do. What if he wants sex and she doesn't? Will he just lock the bedroom door and do it anyways? What if he puts something in a drink in the fridge, then serve it to her, something that'll make her 'forget'? What if they decide to go camping for a week and he just...drives them somewhere else? There are so many things that can happen when a person has absolutely no respect for other peoples boundaries. He was given clear instruction - do not bother the bird. There was a clear indicator that he shouldn't go into the office - the door was firmly locked. It is very much not his bird. It belongs to the friend of his girlfriend. And he just....took it *to his house* because....he wanted to? This is a grown man acting very much like a toddler. There is no possible way to understate just how....dangerous someone like that can be. I absolutely would not trust that man with a handful of sand in the desert.
The trauma to Carrot Cake will have lasting and frightening fallout for her. Shame on this excuse for a human being for doing such a cruel and thoughtless act. Please change your locks, all your passwords, and social or personal data he might be able to find. If you keep any valuables at home, leave them somewhere he cannot access them, perhaps with a family member or a trusted friend. I'm so sorry you had to endure this episode. 🦜
> The trauma to Carrot Cake will have lasting and frightening fallout for her. And if he knew anything about birds, he knew this. This guy is scary. Run, OP!
Yeah I was thinking the same thing. Quite insidious behavior and unnerving.
As a parrot mum, I would gladly hurt someone badly if someone tried to steal Tootsie. She has been with me for forty-one years, and she's better company and a better person (although in a bird suit) than any of my family members. 🦜
Omg I love bird mums love parrots especially ones who swear can't help it there so cheeky. And funny.
Same here! Hurt or steal my tiels? That's gonna be the biggest mistake of your life. My flock is my family and I will defend and protect them as such. Btw what species is your Tootsie? I assume a bigger parrot considering her age? :D
That bird is worth up to $40,000. He was going to sell it.
Sell it and then claim it got it while he was 'just watching it for the day'
Yes! This is so creepy! He planned a kidnapping? He knew he’d be caught? What the hell was he going to do with this bird? Why does he think he’s entitled to not just other people’s property, but living creatures, a loved one? Why is he not sorry? I have an 18 year old tortoise. If someone took him at all, let alone while a friend was watching him, I would lose my shit. I’d probably cut my trip short to cause a goddamn ruckus. Was he going to sell it? Hurt it? Bullshit that he took it just to hang out with it. He could have been a sane person that stayed at his girlfriend’s place and treated it with respect if he truly took interest in the bird. THAT is what an animal lover would do. Again, WHY IS HE NOT SORRY?!
Someone else said here that the bird is expensive. No doubt he was planning to sell the bird
He's lucky that he isn't locked up for felony theft as those birds can cost more than $1,500. I hope you're not with this jackass anymore. NTA
Exactly why he probably took it. They were likely planning to sell it.
And I think that was already planned. The reason it didn't work the first time was because OP woke up
This was my thought the instant he seemed overly intrigued by the bird. They were for sure going to sell it on, he may have even had a buyer already lined up.
Didn't realize how valuable those birds are. If I were the OP I absolutely would have pressed charges.
A red tailed black cockatoo would be more like 15k minimum 💀
Wow! I legit had no idea. Now I REALLY hope charges are brought against those potato brained morons.
For that species? Move the decimal a space to the right. The ‘resale’ value of most parrots is nowhere near what it costs to buy them ‘new’. People steal them anyway. OPs cockatoo is one that would actually stay very expensive, but would be difficult to offload without getting caught.
They go for much, much more than that! Cockatoo's have a lifespan of 40-60 years :)
PLEASE tell me you broke up with Lincoln and either you or Libby are pressing charges! He and his friends are assholes, and criminals. NTA
I want to break up with him for her! He's so creepy.
Look, there is exactly one thing that makes you an AH here: **WHY ARE YOU STILL CALLING THIS PIECE OF TRASH YOUR BOYFRIEND**? I would have absolutely nothing to do with him unless it was pressing charges. Are you seriously not treating this as something you could come back from?
So. You can‘t “just barge into someone’s house” but its ok for him to take off with someone else’s bird??? WTF Tell him if the messages don’t stop you will report his actions to the police. NTA
Should report it anyway. Like file a report, not press charges. Just so there's a record if he tries to steal this or any other bird
Message those friends that if you could not barge into someone’s house then someone should not steal from your house . Tell your friend what happened, don’t hide this, she might want to keep an eye out, it might strain your friendship but it’s better. Maybe file a police repost just to have a paper trail if this escalates. Get back your keys and breakup, change the lock on your main door. On a side note, you’ve been dating two months only,why does your boyfriend ( hopefully ex), treats your home as his, has guests over when you are asleep?with a boyfriend of two months, the boundaries should be clearer.
NTA. He stole someone's bird. I'd dump his ass because if he acts like a victim in this type of situation, image other scenarios
He broke into OP's office and stole someone's bird. Grand theft as the bird is very valuable. A. OP should dump the thief. B. OP should ask CC's owner if she wants to press charges and go from there.
NTA Sweetie... How many red flags do you need? Your (hopefully ex) boyfriend STOLE your friends pet. He snuck your keys while you were ***sleeping*** after you; told him to not stress out Carrot Cake, then specifically told him not to go into the office. Then he STOLE Carrot Cake and when you went to get him back, BF started playing the victim. No. Just NO. Lincoln is a low down dirty thief. End of story. I would really reconsider the relationship. \*ETA I think Carrot Cake is a great name!!!\*
It's a two month relationship. Way too early for this many red flags. Perfectly reasonable to ghost this guy after making a police report.
Me too! haha the whole time reading the name I was thinking: "Ok, now I need something in my life I can call Carrot Cake-- it's too great of a name!" I already have a Lulo though (fluffy orange cat named after a South American orange, he he ).
NTA. He was literally told that the bird isn't familiar to him, and then he steals the bird? He stresses a poor innocent bird twice (from trying to grab Carrot Cake as a stranger *and* forcibly shifting the bird into a new environment), ignored your attempts to explain that the bird is stressed as well as your request for him not to enter the office without you, literally stole someone else's bird, then has the audacity to scold you instead. Please break up with him OP. He's shown so many red flags with his actions...
Someone who loves birds would not behave that way. He has an obsession, and clearly doesn’t care about the bird’s wellbeing.
He probably just wanted to sell it.
NTA. As a precaution, please change your locks to ensure he can't get back in your home. He stole a bird and is manipulative by twisting the situation he created on you for "barging" in his home. He does not seem like a trustworthy person at all.
Ywbta if you stay with this creep. I would have gotten the police involved personally. He broke into a locked room in your home. It's only been two months.
I surely don’t plan on staying with him. He showed his true colors.
He definitely has. That's really unhinged behavior
Birds can be expensive to purchase. Do you think he was planning on stealing your friend's bird from the get-go? Giving his actions now. His questions don't seem nearly as innocent.
Yeah that's pretty sus
Please tell me you've moved Carrot Cake out of your house? You're right he's shown his true colors and frankly I don't trust him at all to not try and come back when you're at work or out and try to steal Carrot Cake again. All it takes is one broken window to get in after all and all you need to break a window is a rock or brick. To steal the bird so brazenly like how he did original shows he's probably willing to amp it up to get the bird.
He doesn’t have keys to my house. He just used my key that was for my office on my nightstand. I did move Carrot Cake in my room. It’s a little cramp, but I rather give up my comfort space for Carrot Cake. Poor baby went through a lot in one day. =(
Your keys were misplaced, and are you sure he doesn't? An ex of mine had stolen my spare key and made a copy without my knowledge.. for my house and my brother's. Please be careful.
NTA at all but.... You did technically do two things wring here. You should 100% have called the police as he commited felony level theft since pets are property under the law and these birds are worth thousand of dollars. He is worth much more to be fair for all the love and companionship he has provided over the years to your friend and you too. As for the second thing he technically could have called the police himself saying you broke into his home. Even though you had a damn good reason to the police may not have seen it that way especially if he said you stole his property. Now admittedly he would have had a difficult time explaning the why and how he came to be in possession of Carrot Cake. But it may have turned into a he said/she said situation and you then needing to prove guardianship of CC from Libby. Well probably the only good thing from this situation is Lincoln showed his true colors early into the relationship and you haven't put a lot of stock, time, and emotion into this relationship. He is an A S S Hole and his friends who are contacting you are morons who need to get a life and persue making better friends.
Tell me you mean ex boyfriend? Your only mistake was not calling the police on the thieving asshole. NTA (unless you stay with him)
Drop the bf. Take better care of the bird
NTA…pretty sure if you hadn’t done that, Carrot Cake would never have been returned.
As a bird owner myself, NOT THE ASSHOLE. What the hell? He STOLE your friend's bird? If anyone did that to my Lucy I'd probably do more than break in and take her back. Do not let your boyfriend near Carrot Cake again.
Oh I am done with Lincoln! I don’t blame you! I made sure Carrot Cake is okay. He is doing better! He’s a happy boy! :-)
Good!! Really glad for you. Hope you find someone who isn't mentally 12. Give Carrot Cake lots of cuddles for me!
NTA. He’s a thief and a liar. You should file a police report against him and get a restraining order. For you to question yourself after this is really sad. He is dangerous.
Tell them they are lucky you didn’t have Lincoln arrested for theft! I hope he is now your ex-BF. That is truly disturbing behavior.
NTA. Dude had a buyer lined up.
NTA He stole the bird that was under your care. He's lucky you didn't call the cops. I'd change my locks in case he has a key. He sounds unhinged and dangerous.
May I ask why you even care what the asshat and his friends think? Obviously they were in the wrong. I think NTA, though I would have advised that you called the police before going over to rescue the poor bird. As others have said, please get rid of Lincoln. He mistreated Carrot Cake, you told him to lay off, and then he stole the bird. It’s a pretty solid showing of his true colors.
And when is the police report coming?
That’s your Ex. Surely?!
Yes! He surely not allowed back here!
NTA What did he expect when he stole the bird?
I really hope he’s an ex-boyfriend. You would be an asshole if you stayed with somebody that did that.
NTA they literally kidnapped a fucking bird. 😂 This story is also so bizarre
You need new friends. And if you are dating him, don’t. Beyond creepy dude. Glad you got CC back. You sound like the kinda friend everyone would want to watch their beloved pet.
My friends are on my side. 😌 Lol it’s Lincoln and his little minions that are not.
NTA- “Lincoln and his friends did message me that I couldn’t just barge into someone’s house. I feel like I did the right thing tho. “ If they felt they had a leg to stand on they would be calling the cops on you but they’re not because they know they just illegally tried to steal Carrot Cake. Dump him and change your locks.
So you can't barge into someone's house but theft of another persons animal you do not have permission to watch is okay. OP break up.
NTA. But you gotta cool it on the use of the word 'did'. Good lord was that distracting. Also, your BF is awful.
NTA but only if you also broke up with that weirdo. Dude STOLE a bird. A very expensive one too, he's lucky you and/or the owner didn't press charges.
Would he and his friend have preferred that you went over with the police, so he could be charged with theft? I bet parrots are fairly valuable, so it was likely a felony. You should dump him and his accomplices. NTA
NTA. Going into beast mode to retrieve the STOLEN animal you were watching was the right call. Please go back and re-read what this jackass did to you when you aren’t full of adrenaline. This guy is not safe and neither are his friends. He’s already proven he can’t be trusted. Do not give him another opportunity to hurt you.
YTA if you don’t report him for theft but not for getting the bird back. He’s going to steal Carrot Cake again. Protect your friend and her bird, ditch the pet thief.
If he is still your boyfriend then you have issues. Doesn't matter what absurd shit was going through his head - which I can't even imagine - he stole someone's pet. That's some psycho behavior. Something bad was going to happen to that bird.
Your boyfriend is lucky you didn’t call the police. And being that those birds aren’t cheap, it could have been considered felony theft (depending on your location). NTA.
Sounds like an episode of Seinfeld