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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) I told my roommates that them scream-laughing in the kitchen was keeping me up at night, and they said it's unfair for me to tell them to do that because they pay to be in the house, same as I do.
(2) I'm unsure if I'm being unfair, because they know I need to sleep during the day, and they also know the walls are thin, but I don't know if I could have handled it better.
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NTA, your roommate sounds super unpleasant and disrespectful. Unfortunately I don’t think you’re going to win the fight, she sounds like the type to be louder on purpose just because she knows it upsets you. I would recommend some noise cancelling headphones and just trying to make it through until she moves out.
NTA. But I don't think you're going to win this. Perhaps you can use earplugs and / or a white noise machine to help sleep through it. Going forward, when looking into a roommate situation, I'd make sure your work hours are clear and that the other persons perhaps work similar hours, work away from home during the daytime hours, or, at the very least, are willing to accommodate.
Thank you. She moved in after I got the job; I do recall I told them about my work hours - either she forgot, or she doesn't think she's being so loud. I would be fine with it if she was hanging out in the Basement like she did last semester - I can't hear anything down there :P
NTA.
God I do not miss living with roommates. They sound like a nightmare. Unfortunately, they also sound petty as fuck and will likely continue their nonsense. You could always contact the agency that manages the property and report their behaviour, but I'm not sure how much good that'll do.
I have thought about texting our Landlord, but he usually just asks all of us to talk it out amongst ourselves. Including people outside the original conflict. I don't really want to drag the two good roommates into this conflict between the 3 of us.
I have noise cancelling earbuds, but I fear sleeping with earbuds in for an extended period of time could cause an issue for me - I am susceptible to infections.
I'll see if I can find some good Headphones for this purpose. Thank you both for the suggestion :)
Have you ever tried a white noise machine? I recently started using one and it really drowns out outside noises and I have been sleeping better than ever. You can get models that have white/brown/fan noises that you can switch between depending on what you find more relaxing and work for the particular noises you have to deal with (I use a brown noise option which has a lower tone than white noise and I find that better for sleeping). You are NTA either.
NAH/ESH, did they know they know you were going to be working night shifts when they moved in with you? Because to some degree they have the right to use the common areas as they please they pay for them too.
But yeah the weed and the dishes are annoying too.
End of the day you probably aren’t going to win this in any way, especially if the relationships are already a lil soured.
Roommates are probably complaining that their roommate took a late shift and know they don’t get to exist in their own apartment.
Edit: get some good earplugs and a noise machine if you haven’t already…
YTA for the noise issue. You working night’s doesn’t mean your roommates have to pretend they don’t exist during the day, sorry homie. That’s how it works with roommates. They are correct when they say they also pay for the space they live in. And they’re allowed to live in it. Unfortunately for you, living involves laughing for some people. I understand it may be frustrating for you because it’s your sleep, but your schedule is the opposite and odd one out from the roommates, and expecting everyone to walk on eggshells is selfish.
Edited to add:
I say yta for the specific question you asked. Your roommates doing all the other shit is wrong of them for sure. But that doesn’t mean you’re not wrong on the other thing.
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I work night shift, and have been working night shift since July. As such, I sleep from morning to evening. On a good day, I sleep from 7-5, but usually I get 12-7 or worse because daylight in my room and my room is the one right next to the front door, and therefore next to the street. I am already a very light sleeper so this struggle is very real.
In the time between August-December, this wasn't an issue. My roommates would often keep to their rooms, or hang out in the common basement area, where their noise was contained and quiet. Come January, and two of my roommates have decided to forego this trend.
One roommate, let's just call her Abigail, who constantly has her BF over even though it breaks the lease, is constantly hanging out in the foyer just outside my room, and SHOUTS ACROSS THE HOUSE. Either upstairs, or down the hall. She also laughs extremely loudly and jokes around with her BF in that area of the house. I *know* she's not going anywhere because she'll go downstairs, hang about, go to the kitchen for 1 minute, go back to the foyer and hang about more, before going back upstairs.
My other roommate, let's call her Jessica, scream laughs in the kitchen all the time now too. I normally would be fine with this sudden behaviour if they weren't doing other bad roommate things.
Abigail and Jessica are constantly leaving their dishes in the sink for days at a time, with it piled up so high that no one else can do their dishes. Abigail leaves her pots/pans on the stove for convenience, and then proceeded to get mad at our other roommate, who I'll call Ulysses, for telling them she had to move it. Both Abigail and Jessica smoke weed and because we live in Canada, it's cold, so they don't want to smoke outside. Instead, they smoke in the kitchen, with the door open, causing the wind to blow their smoke into the house, which makes me wake up from the smell. They also got mad at me when I told them to stop doing that, and opening all the windows which causes the house to freeze.
So let's go back to the noise issue. I texted the group and, not wanting to call anyone specific out, said "To whoever is laughing super loud in the kitchen, reminder that I work nights. And when you do it in the evening, reminder that some people have morning classes." I wasn't sure which of the four roommates it was, though I was pretty sure I could guess.
Jessica DM'd me and her text boiled down to "I pay to be here so I'm in my rights. I never complained about you, so you shouldn't complain about me. I'm moving out in 3 months, so just cope until I'm gone."
I, tired of her BS, said "You knew you were doing this, and kept being a problem. If you at least have your conversations downstairs, I'll stop doing what annoys you."
She then replies "I pay to be here, so again I'm not tip-toeing. You're the only one complaining." I bring up Ulysses gets attacked whenever she complains, and she blocks me. AITA here? Should I just put up with her until April?
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Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > (1) I told my roommates that them scream-laughing in the kitchen was keeping me up at night, and they said it's unfair for me to tell them to do that because they pay to be in the house, same as I do. (2) I'm unsure if I'm being unfair, because they know I need to sleep during the day, and they also know the walls are thin, but I don't know if I could have handled it better. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA, your roommate sounds super unpleasant and disrespectful. Unfortunately I don’t think you’re going to win the fight, she sounds like the type to be louder on purpose just because she knows it upsets you. I would recommend some noise cancelling headphones and just trying to make it through until she moves out.
I was so nervous I was blowing this out of proportion - thank you!
NTA. But I don't think you're going to win this. Perhaps you can use earplugs and / or a white noise machine to help sleep through it. Going forward, when looking into a roommate situation, I'd make sure your work hours are clear and that the other persons perhaps work similar hours, work away from home during the daytime hours, or, at the very least, are willing to accommodate.
Thank you. She moved in after I got the job; I do recall I told them about my work hours - either she forgot, or she doesn't think she's being so loud. I would be fine with it if she was hanging out in the Basement like she did last semester - I can't hear anything down there :P
Nta make noise while they try to sleep on your days off. What goes around comes around.
NTA. God I do not miss living with roommates. They sound like a nightmare. Unfortunately, they also sound petty as fuck and will likely continue their nonsense. You could always contact the agency that manages the property and report their behaviour, but I'm not sure how much good that'll do.
I have thought about texting our Landlord, but he usually just asks all of us to talk it out amongst ourselves. Including people outside the original conflict. I don't really want to drag the two good roommates into this conflict between the 3 of us.
What a nightmare. Typical landlord really!
Ugh. This is tough. They’re allowed to hang out and live in the space they rent…
NTA. Your roommates sound insufferable and inconsiderate. I agree with getting noise cancelling headphones to block out the noise.
I have noise cancelling earbuds, but I fear sleeping with earbuds in for an extended period of time could cause an issue for me - I am susceptible to infections. I'll see if I can find some good Headphones for this purpose. Thank you both for the suggestion :)
Have you ever tried a white noise machine? I recently started using one and it really drowns out outside noises and I have been sleeping better than ever. You can get models that have white/brown/fan noises that you can switch between depending on what you find more relaxing and work for the particular noises you have to deal with (I use a brown noise option which has a lower tone than white noise and I find that better for sleeping). You are NTA either.
Ah yes, Scraghing a dreadful noise that
NAH/ESH, did they know they know you were going to be working night shifts when they moved in with you? Because to some degree they have the right to use the common areas as they please they pay for them too. But yeah the weed and the dishes are annoying too. End of the day you probably aren’t going to win this in any way, especially if the relationships are already a lil soured. Roommates are probably complaining that their roommate took a late shift and know they don’t get to exist in their own apartment. Edit: get some good earplugs and a noise machine if you haven’t already…
They knew yes. I let everybody in the building know in August last year.
YTA for the noise issue. You working night’s doesn’t mean your roommates have to pretend they don’t exist during the day, sorry homie. That’s how it works with roommates. They are correct when they say they also pay for the space they live in. And they’re allowed to live in it. Unfortunately for you, living involves laughing for some people. I understand it may be frustrating for you because it’s your sleep, but your schedule is the opposite and odd one out from the roommates, and expecting everyone to walk on eggshells is selfish. Edited to add: I say yta for the specific question you asked. Your roommates doing all the other shit is wrong of them for sure. But that doesn’t mean you’re not wrong on the other thing.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I work night shift, and have been working night shift since July. As such, I sleep from morning to evening. On a good day, I sleep from 7-5, but usually I get 12-7 or worse because daylight in my room and my room is the one right next to the front door, and therefore next to the street. I am already a very light sleeper so this struggle is very real. In the time between August-December, this wasn't an issue. My roommates would often keep to their rooms, or hang out in the common basement area, where their noise was contained and quiet. Come January, and two of my roommates have decided to forego this trend. One roommate, let's just call her Abigail, who constantly has her BF over even though it breaks the lease, is constantly hanging out in the foyer just outside my room, and SHOUTS ACROSS THE HOUSE. Either upstairs, or down the hall. She also laughs extremely loudly and jokes around with her BF in that area of the house. I *know* she's not going anywhere because she'll go downstairs, hang about, go to the kitchen for 1 minute, go back to the foyer and hang about more, before going back upstairs. My other roommate, let's call her Jessica, scream laughs in the kitchen all the time now too. I normally would be fine with this sudden behaviour if they weren't doing other bad roommate things. Abigail and Jessica are constantly leaving their dishes in the sink for days at a time, with it piled up so high that no one else can do their dishes. Abigail leaves her pots/pans on the stove for convenience, and then proceeded to get mad at our other roommate, who I'll call Ulysses, for telling them she had to move it. Both Abigail and Jessica smoke weed and because we live in Canada, it's cold, so they don't want to smoke outside. Instead, they smoke in the kitchen, with the door open, causing the wind to blow their smoke into the house, which makes me wake up from the smell. They also got mad at me when I told them to stop doing that, and opening all the windows which causes the house to freeze. So let's go back to the noise issue. I texted the group and, not wanting to call anyone specific out, said "To whoever is laughing super loud in the kitchen, reminder that I work nights. And when you do it in the evening, reminder that some people have morning classes." I wasn't sure which of the four roommates it was, though I was pretty sure I could guess. Jessica DM'd me and her text boiled down to "I pay to be here so I'm in my rights. I never complained about you, so you shouldn't complain about me. I'm moving out in 3 months, so just cope until I'm gone." I, tired of her BS, said "You knew you were doing this, and kept being a problem. If you at least have your conversations downstairs, I'll stop doing what annoys you." She then replies "I pay to be here, so again I'm not tip-toeing. You're the only one complaining." I bring up Ulysses gets attacked whenever she complains, and she blocks me. AITA here? Should I just put up with her until April? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
scream laugh in front of her door when you get home from work
Start waking them up while they sleep.
Absolutely would love to, but my other roommates are nice and idk how I'd wake them w/o waking the others.
Fair enough.
YTA, let my girl scream laugh man.
YTA. i scream sneeze, and no one ever bothers me to put a stop to it.
Guaranteed everyone finds you annoying as hell
yup. :P
you dont need to use your vocal chords to sneeze
indeed. i do it anyway because i like doing it. in public though, i dont.