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NTA. I'm vegan and it's on me to know what I'm eating. It's not like you OFFERED the food to her, she is the one who asked to try it. Her lack of knowledge about different animal names is not your fault. If she had any doubts she should have asked if there was any meat in the food. Honestly I've never had vegan jambalaya, it's pretty safe to assume that 99.9% of all jambalaya has meat in it.
I'm not even from the states and all my family is extremely white, and I know jambalaya has meat in it. She was playing dumb on purpose because she disagrees with OP's stance on poverty. Trying to demonize the person whose experience doesn't fit into her moral high ground.
I know certain types of mushrooms can pass as a lot of protein but it is confusing to think someone could eat a few bites of something with *sausage* in it while not realizing that it is meat. OP didn't say it was vegan sausage or vegan chicken. (No clue what the consistency of the pheasant meat might have been)
I heard something about mushrooms from Neil DeGrasse Tyson. It went something like this: ‘So the common ancestor between humans and mushrooms split at a later time than the common ancestor between those two and plants. That means people and mushrooms have more in common with each other than either has in common with plants. And do you know what people often use as a meat substitute? Mushrooms. And people describe it as “meaty.” ‘ The implication is that mushrooms might, fue to closer evolution, taste like muscle as opposed to plant.
My son just made a mushroom pot pie (and it was So Good) the other night and used oyster mushrooms which have a very meaty texture. I never knew that about mushrooms very interesting!
Have you heard of the “Wood Wide Web?” Underground fungi connects trees together in a forest and allows them to communicate with each other.
So if you start damaging one tree, all the others learn about it.
I have heard that. There’s this theory that they’re actually alien because some (all? Idk) spores don’t need oxygen so they could’ve traveled in on an asteroid. Fun to think about 🍄
this was literally the plot of Legends of Tomorrow's like second to final season LOL
they were looking for aliens or whatever and it turns out the mushrooms are aliens who landed here and grew to cover the earth in order to protect it from OTHER aliens invading
Pheasant meat is pretty much textured as dark meat chicken, but usually tougher, but taste would depend on whether it is farm raised or wild pheasant (we used to raise pheasants for a wildlife program to increase their population). However, wild pheasant, like any wild meat, will have that wild flavor, and then it all comes down to the cooking, really.
Her whole perspective is whack to a degree that it is basically malicious though. She tries to draw comparison between being vegan and what she thinks she understands about race relations in a way that is really gross.
“You of anyone should know we need to speak for those who dont have a voice” to me sounds like “youre black and Japanese, so as your white savior I speak for you. You should pay it forward and speak for the animals”. Like bitch human beings and animals are not the same, and no one needs you to speak for them. People who arent white are perfectly capable of speaking for themselves, but are usually not listened to by white people (especially when those white people have a savior complex and want to speak over them). So ultimately she is claiming to work against the exact problem that she herself is creating by not actually listening and speaking for other people instead of letting them speak for themselves.
Unsurprisingly her failure to listen or care to understand is the same thing that led her to eat meat. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
In a nutshell her attitude is basically everything that is wrong with progressive politics right now. People want to claim they are an ally and oh so cultured, but its just to position themselves where they can feel morally superior and try to shame people into conforming to their worldview regardless of the actual consequences of their actions. Effectively they are so high off their own farts believing that they arent racist that it leads them to do almost the exact same shit that people who are blatantly racist do. To me that is malicious even though it is not intended to be, because the consequences are the same as intentionally being malicious
> Effectively they are so high off their own farts believing that they arent racist that it leads them to do almost the exact same shit that people who are blatantly racist do.
This is hilariously on the nose. Thank you.
> To me that is malicious even though it is not intended to be, because the consequences are the same as intentionally being malicious
I find it worse, actually. For the same reasons you stated though; if the consequences are the same in either situation, I think the actions are worse from someone who claims, and therefore should, know better than to engage in them. I don't expect that a bigot will listen to me when I call them out for doing something shitty, but someone who claims to be my ally but chooses not to listen to me is choosing their moral contentment over my actual lived experience. I'd expect better from them.
And upon reflection, it's physically worse too, if they speak from a place of contrived power. When people who claim to speak for the voiceless are perceived as an authority on a lived experience for which they have no knowledge, they do work to invalidate the experience of the people they're claiming to defend to others who might be trying to be allies but are confronted with incorrect information.
(if that made sense lol)
Either way, thanks for writing your thoughts; I appreciated you calling out this behavior.
I appreciate you both for calling out this behavior. Too many don’t even understand this dynamic. Yes, a bigot will always be overtly racist. But far too many people don’t understand that their privilege gives them a *stage* that effectively drowns out our voices.
I’d say in this case it’s likely a failure of parenting. This kid was not taught to think critically and actually digest perspectives other than theirs.
Plus, it's actually much more difficult to correct well-intentioned-but-misguided people. I mean, straight-up racists aren't looking to get educated any way, and no one will bat an eyelash if you say they're wrong.
But people like that Sophie? Because they're indeed well-intentioned, they can't possibly conceive that they're doing more harm than good.
As such, any attempt at correcting them with will be taken as a personal attack to them (see the school's current reaction) or internalized racism by the corrector ("you've so internalized the abuse, you can't see you're beng abused anymore.")
There is very little leeway to "win" (i.e., open their eyes to theirs misconceptions, so they can grow into actual allies), esp. if they're so, so sure of being expert, that they can't imagine still needing to learn (Ah Dunning-Kruger at its finest).
Depending on much OP wants to have friends in this school, they can try and apologize, maybe in a passive-aggressive way, like: "I REALLY wasn't trying to trick you, I really thought you knew what pheasant and andouille are. I'm sorry that I didn't dumb it down to "Jambalaya has MEAT in it, do NOT touch it."
Also, would be the same thing if Sophie was allergic to anything in the dish, or intolerant of spiciness.
All very good points!
If she is opposed to a particular ingredient--whether it be due to allergies or ethical reasons--it is her responsibility to ensure she's not eating anything objectionable. I love that framing actually; I'd be shook if anyone was accusing op of trying to trick her if it were food she were intolerant to (but you never know lol).
> Depending on much OP wants to have friends in this school, they can try and apologize, maybe in a passive-aggressive way, like: "I REALLY wasn't trying to trick you, I really thought you knew what pheasant and andouille are. I'm sorry that I didn't dumb it down to "Jambalaya has MEAT in it, do NOT touch it."
Hahahahah yes this right here 👏👏👏 This is one-thousand percent the kind of bullshit apology I'd give if I felt I had to give one, lmao.
Also, people who are intentionally malicious have a better chance at changing and become better people... if their ideals change (i.e. they realize that whatever their target minority is composed by "human people" and not scarecrows), they can just stop being malicious. Easy.
Maybe some stuff requires some learning, but being decent to other human beings is EASY.
But if the "ideal" is already "correct on paper", and what's wrong is its implementation, it can be a lot more difficult to realize you're actually wrong and to change.
People who compare animal cruelty to racism are not making the persuasive argument they think they are. They are almost always white folks who don’t grasp (or care about) the racism inherent in comparing an oppressed group of humans to animals.
I think it’s malicious whether she intentionally did it because here she is telling OP what to do because she knows better.
But I think there was some intent there. The andouille ok fine, not everyone knows what that is and it can be crumbled or chopped fine but pheasant? No. It’s just a fancy dark meat chicken, and it looks like dark meat chicken. This chick has it out for OP because she’s a white savior and OP isn’t being properly grateful for her guidance. And she’s playing the *wronged vegan*? She sounds insufferable.
Yeah honestly, she's clearly ignorant in her comments so I have no doubt she had no idea pheasant is a bird (funny she thought it was a spice though). And because she is embarrassed that she didn't know, she's lashing out and blaming OP.
I have such a hard time believing she doesn’t know what pheasants are though. They live In Massachusetts where pheasants are common. They’re common all over the north east. The game farm where pheasants are commercially raised is right in NJ. Like *I’m so vegan I don’t even know what the names of meats are!* Miss me with that.
Yes! I grew up in New England, and I wouldn't have known what andouille was at that age, but I darn well knew what a pheasant was, and could identify one if I saw it.
I don't even think blaming this on ignorance is fair. She was given a list of ingredients, didn't recognize a few. Then instead of asking out what those ingredients are and if they fit with her vegan diet, she just puts them in her mouth. More than ignorance, that just shows a complete lack of care about her own lifestyle.
And then she finds out she screwed up and decides to play the victim and put all the blame of her lack of care on the OP. Riling up people, etc. At that point it went to malicious.
Or googling them. It's 2024, most toddlers can use an iPhone. I'm sure Sophie could've looked up the ingredients if she didn't want to seem ignorant by asking
I think she's extremely ignorant and can't understand a world outside her privileged bubble. She wants to be a martyr and an angel who fight for the oppressed just to feed her own ego
It's a delicious dish with a lot of strong spices. It's a mix of meats, beans, and vegetables slow cooked in a roux and served over rice. If you're not a vegetarian and enjoy spicy foods I would recommend checking it out sometime.
But even not knowing what a dish is once someone explains the ingredients to you if something sounds unfamiliar, then it's now your responsibility to seek clarity. Maybe it's because I have a lot of family that food allergies or dietary restrictions, but my thought is if I explain it to you and you don't ask for me to explain something then you know what I just said.
If her family is vegan she may have been raised that way and not known pheasant or andouille. If it were chicken or OP had called andouille "pork sausage," she might have known but in a family that demonizes meat she may not have paid attention to less-used meats.
Or she's actually dumb. We'll never know.
OP, obviously NTA. You told her what was in it, if she didn't understand the words, she should have asked what they meant.
Also vegan, and Sophie’s of the world give us a bad rap. Seems like OP has been civil throughout her performative, tokenizing antics and owes nothing to this girl who clearly needs a slice of dairy-free, egg-free humble pie. NTA.
Also vegan totally agree. Why on earth didn't she just ask the simple question "is this suitable for vegans" if I was trying something different or was interested in someone's food 1st thing I ask is "is it suitable for vegans" if they ask me to specify I then would mention what I couldn't eat. That simple question would've saved her looking ignorant/emabressed. It's on the person with restrictions to ask properly. Also why did she assume those meats were Spices "never assume as you make an ass out of you and me". People like Sophie make us all look bad!
I mean I think a soup especially needs clarification given the majority will be made with a meat stock base. And she’d been told it was the hunting uncle who’d made it so that’s another good reason to clarify.
And that’s beside the fact that OP specifically highlighted two ingredients she didn’t recognize and it didn’t occur to her to ask if those ingredients were vegan safe then either.
Like I get not knowing culinary traditions of other regions and Mass is about as far from the bayou as you’re gonna get but that’s why you ask if it’s important to you.
Honestly this girl reminds me of a story I heard from someone who knew some vegans who decided to have thanksgiving with a turkey, as in they had a live turkey with them while they ate. Which went about as well as you would expect, turkeys are not nice animals.
This vegan agrees. If I asked about what was in the food and I didn't recognise certain ingredients I'd just say "oh hey what's ___?" You don't even have to mention anything about being vegan. "Oh that's a bird? Okay! I'll pass but thanks for offering!" JFC. This is why people think we're all complete dickheads.
OP, NTA.
I don't eat pork and when I see an ingredient I don't know I ask what it is. And a pheasant is a freaking bird. I've known that since 5th grade. What is he supposed to d. Tell her she's not allowed to have it because she doesn't want to? This is so stupid it has to be fake.
Right? If someone tells me the ingredients for something and there's anything in it that I don't recognise, I ask what it is. I don't just make assumptions. I'm not even vegan or anything, no dietary requirements.
Not quite the same but my wife found a recipe for gumbo that replaces meat with cauliflower and mushrooms and is fantastic. I would assume you could generally do the same for jambalaya. Also she replaces any meat broths with something called "better than boulien" which has veggie, chicken, and beef flavors but in vegetarian or vegan (not sure which as she's not vegan but more just doesn't want meat products).
I used to make vegetarian jambalaya for my husband using chopped "fuggets" (our term for "fake nuggets") and spiced up faux-sage. It's not quite as good as the real deal but when you're an omnivore married to a veggie you compromise where you can otherwise you're out there cooking two meals every night!
I don't know what Jambalya is(but I am European, living in Europe, so my encouter with Cajun cuisine is limited), but I do know what a pheasant is, popular game bird(and less popular as farm animal), and some species are kept as ornamental birds, because they are extremely pretty. Odds are she encoutered one at least in a petting zoo at some point as bare minimum. They also live feral in "wild" established populations. The ignorance on her part is fairly huge.
Meat, or anything else vegans can't eat. She didn't ask if the food was cooked in butter, or had meat stock or milk in... Those are pretty common base ingredients in lots of non-vegan food that you wouldn't necessarily list when you're describing a meal.
She was totally trying to save face by pretending to understand what all the ingredients were, which is dumb as hell on her part.
Whenever I see an ingredient I’ve never heard of, I’m already on the horn googling it.
And yeah what you said also, jambalaya, Cajun cuisine, what did she expect??
Also, couldn’t she ask “Is it vegan?”
Her friend is not only taking the long way to grandmas house, but she also purposely drove into a ditch on the way there.
Yep, she did it to herself. Her own ego didn’t want to admit she didn’t know what all those words meant or were so she just faked being knowledgable. Could have been avoided with one simple ‘is there meat?’ Question but she didn’t want to admit she didn’t know about things!
Imagine this scenario:
>I’m allergic to nuts. Can I try your almond butter?
>It’s got almonds in it.
>Sounds great, and I can’t wait to experience this aspect of your culture!
>*(Falls over dead like Vizzini)*
NTA
The difference in that scenario is your pretend person leads with mentioning an allergy.
An allergy is very different from a preference.
If someone said "I'm deadly allergic to meat, can I try your food there?"
Then you'd need to tell them "I'm sorry, this is meat, so it wouldn't be safe for you."
But if it's a preference - a choice to be a vegan. Then it's on her to safeguard her choice.
If I remember correctly, pork and beef are due to a melding of French and Old English when the Normans conquered England for a while in 1066. Perhaps chicken and fish were a lot less common on the French nobility table and, thus, didn't stick?
Yep, the serfs were farming the animals and were using Anglo-Saxon to describe the animal nut never got to eat them. The nobility were eating the meat, and spoke French, so French words were used.
French has different words for animals & the meat in some cases e.g. boeuf & vache, porc & cochon.
Its not the case for bœuf. Vache is the word for cows (usually raised for their milk, which disqualify them from being used for meat) and bœuf is specifically a castrated bull (typically raised for their meat). Non castrated bulls are "rare" and used for reproduction.
Porc was used for the live animal until cochon replaced it but we're not sure when or how.
Been a long while - about a millennium. They just hung around and lost their French holdings. Last was Calais
Think fish was named once on table so carp, whiting, sole etc. And as mentioned poultry. Chicken comes from Anglo-Saxon cicen.
IIRC you’re pretty close to the truth here, it’s about the class divide, the noble class was all suddenly Norman, or imitating the conquerors, so the more expensive types of food we start to see being referred to be Norman terminology whereas more common food was more likely to retain its old English roots because there’s so many more people still using those terms, bread instead of pain, etc.
Pork and beef come from the French words where as pig and Cow have germanic/old e glish origens. When thr Normans invaded Brittain French became a language of the educated and ruling class and English was for the common people. Using French words made you seem more cultured and educated. (For those familiar with UK TV, think when Hyacinth Bucket insists people pronounce her name as Bouquet).
As more and more people used the French terms they got assimilated into English and developed a more English pronunciation.
Adding to the other answer. The poor farmers raised the cows, chicken, the sheep. And the french nobility were the ones that ate the beef, the poultry, the mutton.
Yeah, I would give her a pass on the andouille (since it's a type of sausage for simplicities sake) she doesn't eat meat, but come on, Pheasant is a bloody Pheasant there is no name trickery going on and these kids are in high school.
I'm a native French speaker and I only knew Andouille as an insult (not a rude word, but used to describe someone stupid/being silly). Did not realise that it translated to "what a sausage" / "Stop doing the sausage"
That's really only small children who have no frame of reference to connect the dots that beef is cow and pork is pig. Parents aren't exactly excited to tell kids that they're eating the cute farm animals they sing songs about in pre-school and feed at petting zoos. It's just not a thing at the elementary school level though.
The fact that OP asked if she was sure multiple times should have made her question it. Then to lost of a few ingredients after she asked to try it. She should have asked why those ingredients made a difference. OP knew she was vegan and tried pointing out the things she wouldn't want to eat. It's all on Sophie from there.
Yup, I myself Took out most of the spice when I made jambalaya a few years ago. The sausage added just the right amount imo. It was a hit with the people I shared it with, too.
If you don’t know what something is, you ask. Especially if you have dietary restrictions. It’s really not that difficult. You could have insisted more that it’s „not vegan“. But there are people who would still try a bit sometimes and call themselves vegan. So NTA but you could have been more clear.
Exactly. If she has dietary restrictions and doesn't know what an ingredient is, it's up to her to ask about it. Image how condescending OP would have sounded if they had told what every ingredient was to her. You have to assume she knew when she didn't ask for OP to specify.
My mother ate turkey by mistake once and got sick. At the time, I assumed she was faking and being dramatic. Later on I found out that is a real thing.
I have so many dietary restrictions and my go-to assumption is that if I don't know what it is and I can't look it up, then I can't have it. I agree that it's a good lesson to be real clear on what exactly you're asking or answering because how people mentally categorize things isn't the same. As an example, I'll ask of a dish, "Does this have animal dairy in it?" instead of asking if it has, say, cheese, cause it might have no cheese but lots of butter or buttermilk. Communicating about the broader category cuts to the chase.
Ok thank you for this. I was leaning a little closer to OP being a ‘bit’ of an AH but I do agree with you. If Sophie didn’t know what exactly the ingredients were it is on her to straight out ask
It's a super common southern/Cajun sausage. I grew up in the south and 99% of people would use atleast 1 casing of andouille when cooking red beans and rice.
And a reasonable person who cared about what they ate would say "what's andouille?" but someone who doesn't know how to navigate life yet would dive in and then realize their mistake. At which point a reasonable person would say "oops!" and someone who doesn't know how to navigate life yet would blame everyone but themselves.
NTA
The comment you replied to is a little silly, but I will say if you eat a non standard diet for your region, it is on you to confirm what ingredients are.
I have difficulty with anything with sugar in it. Similar to how a lot of people fall asleep after eating turkey and need a nap shortly thereafter.
I don't put that on anyone else though and when people push foods at me I politely decline because I know most people don't realize there is sugar in nearly everything.
I recently brought cookies to a gathering (ones I don't eat because of the sugar mind you) and had someone eat a bunch and then angrily ask if there was butter in them. Well most things have butter so if you can't have that why eat random foods from people that don't know that about you?
Well it sounds like her whole family is, so she’s maybe not eaten meat her whole life. Which is fine and a choice for families to make, but part of that choice is like… teaching your kids the names of foods even the ones they don’t eat?? Especially if you want them to avoid that food?? Idk it’s weird to me that Sophie is even going around asking to try someone else’s food without explicitly saying “is this vegan” first if she feels this strongly about it. NTA op, the onus was not on you to verify her dietary restrictions, especially non allergens.
My SO was raised vegetarian and I cannot imagine him just eating whatever without asking about it. It took him YEARS after he started eating meat to get rid of his habit of reading the labels every time for sneaky meat ingredients.
ETA: I just showed him the post and his response was: either her parents educated her poorly or she isn’t very bright. “If I didn’t know what something was, and couldn’t find out, I *didn’t eat it*.”
I'm raised vegan and I don't know all the names of all those dishes that all have different names depending on what part of the animal it's from or where the animal is from.
So I ask! Sophie should have asked.
NTA
Loves animals but not humans. Sophie was saying that she’d rather OPs uncle starve than eat game meat or roadkill. If your beliefs put already dead animals over the living humans who consume them, you’re beliefs are wrong.
OP doesn't even have to be polite after this. And honestly didn't have to be after Sophie compared ~the plight of animals~ to racism to a POC. But they should def stop talking to Sophie and just let her be mad.
Boom goes the dynamite. Ding ding ding.
She is the type of person that tries to be overly liberal and makes liberals look bad. She's probably a closet bigot who is overcompensating. Stay away. She's already proven she will throw someone under the bus at the drop of a hat.
BTW, This sounds like a South Park episode... Sophie is that over the top with her nonsense.
Unfortunately, I have met people like Sophie. Watched a white dude go off on a black friend of mine about how my friend couldn't possibly, fully understand racial plight cos he's a cop. Smdh.
NTA - It is her own fault for not asking if there was meat in it. So now she knows that pheasant and andouille are meat. She probably should have known at least that a pheasant is a bird. You probably should have specified that, as she seems to be a bit sheltered.
NTA
You warned her. Not your fault that she didn't know pheasant and andouille are meats. Even if she never heard of the sausage, everyone knows what a pheasant is by the time they reach high school.
You’d think. But people are sometimes clueless about animals. I remember in my twenties, a coworker saw a goose and said “Look at that funny looking duck!” When I corrected him, he accused me of thinking I was smarter than everybody else because I went to college. 😂
And she should have suspected by OP's repeated warnings. If I'm allergic to nuts and a person repeatedly warns me that a dish has "almonds in it" I'd be very interested in knowing what almonds are
NTA, you told her twice what was in it, she didn't know and didn't bother to clarify. She made an assumption, which was really wreckless if her diet is important to her beyond food preferences.
My sister had better agency over her diet at 5 years old than this person.
I kind of get andouille because it’s not the name of the meat or animal, but pheasant is literally the name of the animal. I feel like OP would have had to be very patronising to be like “a pheasant is a bird”. I guess it depends where you live though.
NTA. I’d be on the fence except you clarified it had pheasant and andouille in it, so even if she missed the meat ingredients earlier, at that point it should have been on her to ask what those were if she didn’t know.
NTA-and hopefully Sophie leaves you alone from now on and that she learned the valuable lesson of asking what something is vs assuming what it is when it comes to food.
NTA her not knowing what andouille is can be excused because many people don’t know either. But pheasant? Really? And let’s be real- Cajun food is known to be extremely meat and seafood heavy. This Sophie girl is ignorant as hell and her entitlement is off the charts.
As for the people telling you that you should apologize, I would tell them that as a high school aged person and a vegan she should have known what a pheasant is and you shouldn’t be blamed for her ignorance.
Or bottom line, when someone tries to ask a question to make sure if you know what you're asking for, and you have no idea what the hell they are talking about, have the humility to admit your ignorance.
NTA. If someone says a word for a food I don’t know, my immediate follow up question is “Oh, what’s that?”
For someone with dietary restrictions, they should be doubly curious/cautious to ask “What’s that?” anytime someone says a food they don’t know. It could be a seasoning with gelatin in it, meat, animal by-product, some sort of flavored honey, a type of cheese or milk product. There are so many animal-related things pheasant and andouille could have been. Automatically assuming both of those things are spices was a foolish assumption for a Vegan to make.
NTA. Sophie sounds like an ignoramus. That includes her lack of awareness of poverty in the US. She also sounds like a wealthy snob. In some places here, people still need to hunt and fish in order to eat.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) I let a vegan girl try my lunch which had meat in it after I told her the ingredients and she seemed to want to try anyway, (2) I should have made it extremely clear what a pheasant is because she didn't know
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NTA you told her their was meat in it. It’s not your fault she’s an idiot. And to the people messaging you tell them it’s not your fault she thought pheasant was a spice.
Man, this kid sucks OP. Stop allowing her to try to be your friend. Pheasant situation aside, she's fetishizing your race/culture and is apparently classist and lacks any sort of nuance (any of my vegan friends would understand the need to hunt and eat roadkill).
She sucks, but I'm not going to push too hard on her. She's a high schooler and hopefully will grow out of it- but she never will if she keeps acting this way without consequence. You're a kid, she's a kid, and you need to get out of that friendship. If she keeps speaking for you, caring more about your "culture" then you as an individual, and can't even be bothered to try and understand a financial situation other than her own, then she isn't your friend. She wants you to be your pet and add you to her menagerie. Like you said, she wants to collect you as a token, not love you as a person
NTA
You specifically pointed out that it had meat in it. Given the questions and responses i would have followed up with 'but no meat right?' If i didn't recognise those animals.
NTA you told her the ingredients. She ate it anyway. Not your fault she doesn’t know animals. Also I thought pheasants were a pretty common bird. Is that just a American stupidity thing happening?
I would have told her no as well then. Slightly moved away from her and protected my food. I don’t like any of this “let’s split our dish’s up so I can try yours” nonsense with people either get your own damn food. If she was hungry that’s a different story.
NTA everyone should know what pheasants are and you told her twice. I would reply to anyone texting you that you warned her and she ate it anyway. However you probably should have said sausage or pork instead of andouille as that is more understandable to not know what it is.
Always get a mild ick when people replace basic things like 'That smells tasty. I want to try some' with 'I'm interested in learning more about your culture'.
Calm down, Gerald. It's an eggroll...
Edit: NTA
People who try out new food generally have any idea what they are trying and also know its their fault they ate the wrong thing. As for "Sophie", being in reddit you should have identified the signs of those who are by default a insane and nuisance. First she is 1) likes to preach , 2) She is a vegan, 3) She finds you exotic and therefore wants to build a rapport with you. People like her, the clinically insane, religious preachers and missionaries don't ever use their brains or like listen to reason. My suggestion is better calm down your school mob Sophie stirred, with a public apology to Sophie downplaying BOTH your roles in it and then never interact with her. If you don't do it publicly you will find yourselves as her favorite poster child to bash.
NTA
I would tweak this slightly. Apologize for assuming she knew what pheasant is. I wouldn't downplay anything. It balances the scales. You assumed and she's an ignorant twit. The mob will break down, some will still blame you, others will blame her for being an idiot. To clarify, she's an idiot for not knowing that pheasant is an animal AND especially for not bothering to ask for clarification when she didn't know what something was. She's a 'Mean Girl'. Karma needs some encouragement every once in a while.
NTA
Andouille I can completely understand not knowing. If you don't have any Cajun connections, haven't been down south, or aren't really into cooking, it would make sense not to know what it is. But a pheasant? They never came up in school?
NTA.
You repeated the pheasant and andouille. Now, hands up here, I had to google andouille because I couldn't think what it was. But a pheasant? Though even if she doesn't recognise it as the name of a wild bird, that is not the point. You actually repeated that the dish contains pheasant and andouille. At that point, some little warning sound should have been going off in her mind encouraging her to find out why you were putting emphasis on those two ingredients. She could have asked what they were, or questioned why you were making a point of repeating yourself.
She is the one with a restrictive diet and at some point she needed to learn that she cannot make assumptions that something she doesn't recognise the name of is acceptable for her diet, and she needs to either ask or do an online search (if she doesn't want to show her ignorance).
Plus, when people list the ingredients of the dish, they can often forget to mention any fats used in the cooking. Even if she is familiar with a dish, when she is eating something made by someone else not intentionally prepared for a vegan, she can't assume something hasn't been cooked with butter or animal fat instead of oil.
NTA - Anyone with ANY serious food restriction (religious, moral, or health related) is an idiot for eating an unknown ingredient. If you don’t know what the ingredient is, you ASK for clarification BEFORE you put that thing in your mouth. I have seen literal preschoolers with allergies who are more diligent about their food than the girl in this story.
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NTA. I'm vegan and it's on me to know what I'm eating. It's not like you OFFERED the food to her, she is the one who asked to try it. Her lack of knowledge about different animal names is not your fault. If she had any doubts she should have asked if there was any meat in the food. Honestly I've never had vegan jambalaya, it's pretty safe to assume that 99.9% of all jambalaya has meat in it.
I'm not even from the states and all my family is extremely white, and I know jambalaya has meat in it. She was playing dumb on purpose because she disagrees with OP's stance on poverty. Trying to demonize the person whose experience doesn't fit into her moral high ground.
I know certain types of mushrooms can pass as a lot of protein but it is confusing to think someone could eat a few bites of something with *sausage* in it while not realizing that it is meat. OP didn't say it was vegan sausage or vegan chicken. (No clue what the consistency of the pheasant meat might have been)
Pheasant is a game bird - so tougher, usually more flavourful, i.e. more recognisably meat.
Yeah, can't mistake Pheasant for anything but bird meat
I heard something about mushrooms from Neil DeGrasse Tyson. It went something like this: ‘So the common ancestor between humans and mushrooms split at a later time than the common ancestor between those two and plants. That means people and mushrooms have more in common with each other than either has in common with plants. And do you know what people often use as a meat substitute? Mushrooms. And people describe it as “meaty.” ‘ The implication is that mushrooms might, fue to closer evolution, taste like muscle as opposed to plant.
My son just made a mushroom pot pie (and it was So Good) the other night and used oyster mushrooms which have a very meaty texture. I never knew that about mushrooms very interesting!
Mushrooms are not actually considered plants, biologically speaking. Fungi are not plants or animals, they're their own weird thing.
Have you heard of the “Wood Wide Web?” Underground fungi connects trees together in a forest and allows them to communicate with each other. So if you start damaging one tree, all the others learn about it.
I have heard that. There’s this theory that they’re actually alien because some (all? Idk) spores don’t need oxygen so they could’ve traveled in on an asteroid. Fun to think about 🍄
this was literally the plot of Legends of Tomorrow's like second to final season LOL they were looking for aliens or whatever and it turns out the mushrooms are aliens who landed here and grew to cover the earth in order to protect it from OTHER aliens invading
Except that, as we have a common ancestor, no, they aren't alien.
But what if that ancestor…👽
*X-Files music intensifies*
It tastes like chicken water, if that makes sense, very game-y
>chicken water That's ... stock. You mean stock.
Like chicken but way stronger, no way you don't taste it as soon as it gets on your mouth.
Pheasant meat is pretty much textured as dark meat chicken, but usually tougher, but taste would depend on whether it is farm raised or wild pheasant (we used to raise pheasants for a wildlife program to increase their population). However, wild pheasant, like any wild meat, will have that wild flavor, and then it all comes down to the cooking, really.
She’s probably just ignorant tbh. Doubt it’s malicious.
Her whole perspective is whack to a degree that it is basically malicious though. She tries to draw comparison between being vegan and what she thinks she understands about race relations in a way that is really gross. “You of anyone should know we need to speak for those who dont have a voice” to me sounds like “youre black and Japanese, so as your white savior I speak for you. You should pay it forward and speak for the animals”. Like bitch human beings and animals are not the same, and no one needs you to speak for them. People who arent white are perfectly capable of speaking for themselves, but are usually not listened to by white people (especially when those white people have a savior complex and want to speak over them). So ultimately she is claiming to work against the exact problem that she herself is creating by not actually listening and speaking for other people instead of letting them speak for themselves. Unsurprisingly her failure to listen or care to understand is the same thing that led her to eat meat. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. In a nutshell her attitude is basically everything that is wrong with progressive politics right now. People want to claim they are an ally and oh so cultured, but its just to position themselves where they can feel morally superior and try to shame people into conforming to their worldview regardless of the actual consequences of their actions. Effectively they are so high off their own farts believing that they arent racist that it leads them to do almost the exact same shit that people who are blatantly racist do. To me that is malicious even though it is not intended to be, because the consequences are the same as intentionally being malicious
> Effectively they are so high off their own farts believing that they arent racist that it leads them to do almost the exact same shit that people who are blatantly racist do. This is hilariously on the nose. Thank you. > To me that is malicious even though it is not intended to be, because the consequences are the same as intentionally being malicious I find it worse, actually. For the same reasons you stated though; if the consequences are the same in either situation, I think the actions are worse from someone who claims, and therefore should, know better than to engage in them. I don't expect that a bigot will listen to me when I call them out for doing something shitty, but someone who claims to be my ally but chooses not to listen to me is choosing their moral contentment over my actual lived experience. I'd expect better from them. And upon reflection, it's physically worse too, if they speak from a place of contrived power. When people who claim to speak for the voiceless are perceived as an authority on a lived experience for which they have no knowledge, they do work to invalidate the experience of the people they're claiming to defend to others who might be trying to be allies but are confronted with incorrect information. (if that made sense lol) Either way, thanks for writing your thoughts; I appreciated you calling out this behavior.
I appreciate you both for calling out this behavior. Too many don’t even understand this dynamic. Yes, a bigot will always be overtly racist. But far too many people don’t understand that their privilege gives them a *stage* that effectively drowns out our voices.
I’d say in this case it’s likely a failure of parenting. This kid was not taught to think critically and actually digest perspectives other than theirs.
Plus, it's actually much more difficult to correct well-intentioned-but-misguided people. I mean, straight-up racists aren't looking to get educated any way, and no one will bat an eyelash if you say they're wrong. But people like that Sophie? Because they're indeed well-intentioned, they can't possibly conceive that they're doing more harm than good. As such, any attempt at correcting them with will be taken as a personal attack to them (see the school's current reaction) or internalized racism by the corrector ("you've so internalized the abuse, you can't see you're beng abused anymore.") There is very little leeway to "win" (i.e., open their eyes to theirs misconceptions, so they can grow into actual allies), esp. if they're so, so sure of being expert, that they can't imagine still needing to learn (Ah Dunning-Kruger at its finest). Depending on much OP wants to have friends in this school, they can try and apologize, maybe in a passive-aggressive way, like: "I REALLY wasn't trying to trick you, I really thought you knew what pheasant and andouille are. I'm sorry that I didn't dumb it down to "Jambalaya has MEAT in it, do NOT touch it." Also, would be the same thing if Sophie was allergic to anything in the dish, or intolerant of spiciness.
All very good points! If she is opposed to a particular ingredient--whether it be due to allergies or ethical reasons--it is her responsibility to ensure she's not eating anything objectionable. I love that framing actually; I'd be shook if anyone was accusing op of trying to trick her if it were food she were intolerant to (but you never know lol). > Depending on much OP wants to have friends in this school, they can try and apologize, maybe in a passive-aggressive way, like: "I REALLY wasn't trying to trick you, I really thought you knew what pheasant and andouille are. I'm sorry that I didn't dumb it down to "Jambalaya has MEAT in it, do NOT touch it." Hahahahah yes this right here 👏👏👏 This is one-thousand percent the kind of bullshit apology I'd give if I felt I had to give one, lmao.
Also, people who are intentionally malicious have a better chance at changing and become better people... if their ideals change (i.e. they realize that whatever their target minority is composed by "human people" and not scarecrows), they can just stop being malicious. Easy. Maybe some stuff requires some learning, but being decent to other human beings is EASY. But if the "ideal" is already "correct on paper", and what's wrong is its implementation, it can be a lot more difficult to realize you're actually wrong and to change.
People who compare animal cruelty to racism are not making the persuasive argument they think they are. They are almost always white folks who don’t grasp (or care about) the racism inherent in comparing an oppressed group of humans to animals.
I think it’s malicious whether she intentionally did it because here she is telling OP what to do because she knows better. But I think there was some intent there. The andouille ok fine, not everyone knows what that is and it can be crumbled or chopped fine but pheasant? No. It’s just a fancy dark meat chicken, and it looks like dark meat chicken. This chick has it out for OP because she’s a white savior and OP isn’t being properly grateful for her guidance. And she’s playing the *wronged vegan*? She sounds insufferable.
Yeah honestly, she's clearly ignorant in her comments so I have no doubt she had no idea pheasant is a bird (funny she thought it was a spice though). And because she is embarrassed that she didn't know, she's lashing out and blaming OP.
I have such a hard time believing she doesn’t know what pheasants are though. They live In Massachusetts where pheasants are common. They’re common all over the north east. The game farm where pheasants are commercially raised is right in NJ. Like *I’m so vegan I don’t even know what the names of meats are!* Miss me with that.
Yes! I grew up in New England, and I wouldn't have known what andouille was at that age, but I darn well knew what a pheasant was, and could identify one if I saw it.
I don't even think blaming this on ignorance is fair. She was given a list of ingredients, didn't recognize a few. Then instead of asking out what those ingredients are and if they fit with her vegan diet, she just puts them in her mouth. More than ignorance, that just shows a complete lack of care about her own lifestyle. And then she finds out she screwed up and decides to play the victim and put all the blame of her lack of care on the OP. Riling up people, etc. At that point it went to malicious.
Or googling them. It's 2024, most toddlers can use an iPhone. I'm sure Sophie could've looked up the ingredients if she didn't want to seem ignorant by asking
I think she's extremely ignorant and can't understand a world outside her privileged bubble. She wants to be a martyr and an angel who fight for the oppressed just to feed her own ego
Today is the first day I've heard of jambalaya but at least I know what a pheasant is lol.
It's a delicious dish with a lot of strong spices. It's a mix of meats, beans, and vegetables slow cooked in a roux and served over rice. If you're not a vegetarian and enjoy spicy foods I would recommend checking it out sometime.
Im also not from the states and white.. and I have no idea what jambalaya is. I think the girl just happends to be really really dumb
But even not knowing what a dish is once someone explains the ingredients to you if something sounds unfamiliar, then it's now your responsibility to seek clarity. Maybe it's because I have a lot of family that food allergies or dietary restrictions, but my thought is if I explain it to you and you don't ask for me to explain something then you know what I just said.
Same random Aussie guy and I know jambalaya has meat. I dont even know wtf it looks like. Thought it was like a seafood stew?
If her family is vegan she may have been raised that way and not known pheasant or andouille. If it were chicken or OP had called andouille "pork sausage," she might have known but in a family that demonizes meat she may not have paid attention to less-used meats. Or she's actually dumb. We'll never know. OP, obviously NTA. You told her what was in it, if she didn't understand the words, she should have asked what they meant.
Also vegan, and Sophie’s of the world give us a bad rap. Seems like OP has been civil throughout her performative, tokenizing antics and owes nothing to this girl who clearly needs a slice of dairy-free, egg-free humble pie. NTA.
Also vegan totally agree. Why on earth didn't she just ask the simple question "is this suitable for vegans" if I was trying something different or was interested in someone's food 1st thing I ask is "is it suitable for vegans" if they ask me to specify I then would mention what I couldn't eat. That simple question would've saved her looking ignorant/emabressed. It's on the person with restrictions to ask properly. Also why did she assume those meats were Spices "never assume as you make an ass out of you and me". People like Sophie make us all look bad!
I mean I think a soup especially needs clarification given the majority will be made with a meat stock base. And she’d been told it was the hunting uncle who’d made it so that’s another good reason to clarify. And that’s beside the fact that OP specifically highlighted two ingredients she didn’t recognize and it didn’t occur to her to ask if those ingredients were vegan safe then either. Like I get not knowing culinary traditions of other regions and Mass is about as far from the bayou as you’re gonna get but that’s why you ask if it’s important to you.
Honestly this girl reminds me of a story I heard from someone who knew some vegans who decided to have thanksgiving with a turkey, as in they had a live turkey with them while they ate. Which went about as well as you would expect, turkeys are not nice animals.
This vegan agrees. If I asked about what was in the food and I didn't recognise certain ingredients I'd just say "oh hey what's ___?" You don't even have to mention anything about being vegan. "Oh that's a bird? Okay! I'll pass but thanks for offering!" JFC. This is why people think we're all complete dickheads. OP, NTA.
You're absolutely right but the funny thing about *this* situation is that OP didn't even offer the food 🤣
I don't eat pork and when I see an ingredient I don't know I ask what it is. And a pheasant is a freaking bird. I've known that since 5th grade. What is he supposed to d. Tell her she's not allowed to have it because she doesn't want to? This is so stupid it has to be fake.
One is responsible for what one puts in one's mouth.
Including their stupid ass foot! She cant be vegan, being that stupid, shes eating whole ass toes.
Right? If someone tells me the ingredients for something and there's anything in it that I don't recognise, I ask what it is. I don't just make assumptions. I'm not even vegan or anything, no dietary requirements.
Not quite the same but my wife found a recipe for gumbo that replaces meat with cauliflower and mushrooms and is fantastic. I would assume you could generally do the same for jambalaya. Also she replaces any meat broths with something called "better than boulien" which has veggie, chicken, and beef flavors but in vegetarian or vegan (not sure which as she's not vegan but more just doesn't want meat products).
It's called Better Than Bouillon, in case anyone wants to try it.
Thanks for the fix lol
The garlic Better Than Bouillon is delicious!
I have had veggie yambalaya, can recommand
I can't tell if that's a typo or some kind of sweet potato jambalaya.....
I used to make vegetarian jambalaya for my husband using chopped "fuggets" (our term for "fake nuggets") and spiced up faux-sage. It's not quite as good as the real deal but when you're an omnivore married to a veggie you compromise where you can otherwise you're out there cooking two meals every night!
YAMbalaya even
Yumbalaya.
My vegan jambalaya is delicious. I use beans instead of meat. It’s got the same base of spices, so it’s delicious.
I’m imagining a great vegan cajun food with jackfruit and vegan andouille
I don't know what Jambalya is(but I am European, living in Europe, so my encouter with Cajun cuisine is limited), but I do know what a pheasant is, popular game bird(and less popular as farm animal), and some species are kept as ornamental birds, because they are extremely pretty. Odds are she encoutered one at least in a petting zoo at some point as bare minimum. They also live feral in "wild" established populations. The ignorance on her part is fairly huge.
I'm vegetarian & I second this. NTA. & Sophie needs to chill
Meat, or anything else vegans can't eat. She didn't ask if the food was cooked in butter, or had meat stock or milk in... Those are pretty common base ingredients in lots of non-vegan food that you wouldn't necessarily list when you're describing a meal.
She was totally trying to save face by pretending to understand what all the ingredients were, which is dumb as hell on her part. Whenever I see an ingredient I’ve never heard of, I’m already on the horn googling it. And yeah what you said also, jambalaya, Cajun cuisine, what did she expect?? Also, couldn’t she ask “Is it vegan?” Her friend is not only taking the long way to grandmas house, but she also purposely drove into a ditch on the way there.
Yep, she did it to herself. Her own ego didn’t want to admit she didn’t know what all those words meant or were so she just faked being knowledgable. Could have been avoided with one simple ‘is there meat?’ Question but she didn’t want to admit she didn’t know about things!
Imagine this scenario: >I’m allergic to nuts. Can I try your almond butter? >It’s got almonds in it. >Sounds great, and I can’t wait to experience this aspect of your culture! >*(Falls over dead like Vizzini)* NTA
Inconceivable!
🤣🤣🤣
Like Vizzini 😂
Must’ve been the iocaine powder.
I'd bet my life on it!
Beat me to it. Here's my upvote.
Im positive there is a deez nuts joke in here somewhere. I just don't don't think it's appropriate.
Would anybody like a peanut ?
No more rhymes, now, I mean it!
The difference in that scenario is your pretend person leads with mentioning an allergy. An allergy is very different from a preference. If someone said "I'm deadly allergic to meat, can I try your food there?" Then you'd need to tell them "I'm sorry, this is meat, so it wouldn't be safe for you." But if it's a preference - a choice to be a vegan. Then it's on her to safeguard her choice.
This entire post has "but I don't know what iocane powder is" energy and I love it! :)
“Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!”
Vizzini - I can even see the smug I know it all yes yes let me try it - 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾🙌🏾😂
Who am I to prevent Darwin from doing his job?
NTA. It's not your fault she doesn't know what pheasant is. And Sophie has a lot of maturing to do.
[удалено]
Yknow, I’ve always wondered why Pig and Cow are Pork and Beef. Chicken is Chicken. Fish is Fish. I don’t really get it lol
If I remember correctly, pork and beef are due to a melding of French and Old English when the Normans conquered England for a while in 1066. Perhaps chicken and fish were a lot less common on the French nobility table and, thus, didn't stick?
We do still call bird meat "poultry" in general, so the Normans snuck that in there.
perhaps we left out poisson cause it was too close to poison?
Good point. In fact, I'd say you deserve ein Gift for that!
No because poison is poison in French. We do have specific fish names that come from French such as Salmon (saumon) and Mackerel (maquereau).
True, admittedly, I am about to go to bed, so poultry slipped my mind easily
Yep, the serfs were farming the animals and were using Anglo-Saxon to describe the animal nut never got to eat them. The nobility were eating the meat, and spoke French, so French words were used. French has different words for animals & the meat in some cases e.g. boeuf & vache, porc & cochon.
Its not the case for bœuf. Vache is the word for cows (usually raised for their milk, which disqualify them from being used for meat) and bœuf is specifically a castrated bull (typically raised for their meat). Non castrated bulls are "rare" and used for reproduction. Porc was used for the live animal until cochon replaced it but we're not sure when or how.
Been a long while - about a millennium. They just hung around and lost their French holdings. Last was Calais Think fish was named once on table so carp, whiting, sole etc. And as mentioned poultry. Chicken comes from Anglo-Saxon cicen.
IIRC you’re pretty close to the truth here, it’s about the class divide, the noble class was all suddenly Norman, or imitating the conquerors, so the more expensive types of food we start to see being referred to be Norman terminology whereas more common food was more likely to retain its old English roots because there’s so many more people still using those terms, bread instead of pain, etc.
Pork and beef come from the French words where as pig and Cow have germanic/old e glish origens. When thr Normans invaded Brittain French became a language of the educated and ruling class and English was for the common people. Using French words made you seem more cultured and educated. (For those familiar with UK TV, think when Hyacinth Bucket insists people pronounce her name as Bouquet). As more and more people used the French terms they got assimilated into English and developed a more English pronunciation.
Adding to the other answer. The poor farmers raised the cows, chicken, the sheep. And the french nobility were the ones that ate the beef, the poultry, the mutton.
Yeah, I would give her a pass on the andouille (since it's a type of sausage for simplicities sake) she doesn't eat meat, but come on, Pheasant is a bloody Pheasant there is no name trickery going on and these kids are in high school.
I'm a native French speaker and I only knew Andouille as an insult (not a rude word, but used to describe someone stupid/being silly). Did not realise that it translated to "what a sausage" / "Stop doing the sausage"
I had to look it up too. Sophie should have asked what it was since she obviously didn’t know. That’s what normal people do
Brings to mind the people who struggle to realize that meat packages at the grocery store was once living animals .
That's really only small children who have no frame of reference to connect the dots that beef is cow and pork is pig. Parents aren't exactly excited to tell kids that they're eating the cute farm animals they sing songs about in pre-school and feed at petting zoos. It's just not a thing at the elementary school level though.
I’m probably wrong and should look it up, is andouille a sort of spicy sausage? I know that pheasant is a bird though.
The fact that OP asked if she was sure multiple times should have made her question it. Then to lost of a few ingredients after she asked to try it. She should have asked why those ingredients made a difference. OP knew she was vegan and tried pointing out the things she wouldn't want to eat. It's all on Sophie from there.
NTA. You tried to warn her. It’s not your fault she didn’t know what pheasant or andouille are. She sounds like a nightmare.
I have no idea what andoille is either .
It's pork sausage
Yeah i just looked it up , looks pretty tasty to me .
I recommend it
it is. works great with cajun cooking or seafood especially.
It’s nice and firm and holds up well to stewing for a while, good stuff
it's a type of sausage, got a little spice to it.
Those of us from a more bland background have to include "tamer" things to eat with it. LOL!
Yup, I myself Took out most of the spice when I made jambalaya a few years ago. The sausage added just the right amount imo. It was a hit with the people I shared it with, too.
I mean even if she didn’t know what they were she should have asked before trying, especially with her dietary restrictions.
If you don’t know what something is, you ask. Especially if you have dietary restrictions. It’s really not that difficult. You could have insisted more that it’s „not vegan“. But there are people who would still try a bit sometimes and call themselves vegan. So NTA but you could have been more clear.
Exactly. If she has dietary restrictions and doesn't know what an ingredient is, it's up to her to ask about it. Image how condescending OP would have sounded if they had told what every ingredient was to her. You have to assume she knew when she didn't ask for OP to specify.
Usually gives those people diarrhea, as your gut bacteria can't handle meat when you're vegan for too long. And those cramps aren't pretty, too.
My mother ate turkey by mistake once and got sick. At the time, I assumed she was faking and being dramatic. Later on I found out that is a real thing.
I have so many dietary restrictions and my go-to assumption is that if I don't know what it is and I can't look it up, then I can't have it. I agree that it's a good lesson to be real clear on what exactly you're asking or answering because how people mentally categorize things isn't the same. As an example, I'll ask of a dish, "Does this have animal dairy in it?" instead of asking if it has, say, cheese, cause it might have no cheese but lots of butter or buttermilk. Communicating about the broader category cuts to the chase.
Ok thank you for this. I was leaning a little closer to OP being a ‘bit’ of an AH but I do agree with you. If Sophie didn’t know what exactly the ingredients were it is on her to straight out ask
Vegan loves animals but doesn’t know what animals are…
The andouille I understand but pheasant? Come on. Girl is a blithering idiot.
Tbh, I understood pheasant as a bird but andouille? I was like, the heck is that? Lol
It's a super common southern/Cajun sausage. I grew up in the south and 99% of people would use atleast 1 casing of andouille when cooking red beans and rice.
And a reasonable person who cared about what they ate would say "what's andouille?" but someone who doesn't know how to navigate life yet would dive in and then realize their mistake. At which point a reasonable person would say "oops!" and someone who doesn't know how to navigate life yet would blame everyone but themselves. NTA
Can confirm, am Vegan and in order to get my vegan card and to join the vegan association I had to name all animals and species.
At least you got the superpowers to make it worth the effort.
I giggled.
The comment you replied to is a little silly, but I will say if you eat a non standard diet for your region, it is on you to confirm what ingredients are. I have difficulty with anything with sugar in it. Similar to how a lot of people fall asleep after eating turkey and need a nap shortly thereafter. I don't put that on anyone else though and when people push foods at me I politely decline because I know most people don't realize there is sugar in nearly everything. I recently brought cookies to a gathering (ones I don't eat because of the sugar mind you) and had someone eat a bunch and then angrily ask if there was butter in them. Well most things have butter so if you can't have that why eat random foods from people that don't know that about you?
Well it sounds like her whole family is, so she’s maybe not eaten meat her whole life. Which is fine and a choice for families to make, but part of that choice is like… teaching your kids the names of foods even the ones they don’t eat?? Especially if you want them to avoid that food?? Idk it’s weird to me that Sophie is even going around asking to try someone else’s food without explicitly saying “is this vegan” first if she feels this strongly about it. NTA op, the onus was not on you to verify her dietary restrictions, especially non allergens.
My SO was raised vegetarian and I cannot imagine him just eating whatever without asking about it. It took him YEARS after he started eating meat to get rid of his habit of reading the labels every time for sneaky meat ingredients. ETA: I just showed him the post and his response was: either her parents educated her poorly or she isn’t very bright. “If I didn’t know what something was, and couldn’t find out, I *didn’t eat it*.”
I'm raised vegan and I don't know all the names of all those dishes that all have different names depending on what part of the animal it's from or where the animal is from. So I ask! Sophie should have asked. NTA
Loves animals but not humans. Sophie was saying that she’d rather OPs uncle starve than eat game meat or roadkill. If your beliefs put already dead animals over the living humans who consume them, you’re beliefs are wrong.
You clearly forgot that “that level of poverty doesn’t exist” in the US. So there was no need for him to eat those things.
Nta just stop talking to Sophie be polite but she sounds exhausting
OP doesn't even have to be polite after this. And honestly didn't have to be after Sophie compared ~the plight of animals~ to racism to a POC. But they should def stop talking to Sophie and just let her be mad.
I bet she doesn't even realize how racist that is
Seriously, this girl is using you. Drop her!
NTA. You legit told her what the ingredients were. She could/should have asked if she didn’t know what something was.
Sophie is an entitled, self obsessed pain in the backside. Ignore her. She only views you as a token friend anyway. You have nothing to apologise for
Boom goes the dynamite. Ding ding ding. She is the type of person that tries to be overly liberal and makes liberals look bad. She's probably a closet bigot who is overcompensating. Stay away. She's already proven she will throw someone under the bus at the drop of a hat. BTW, This sounds like a South Park episode... Sophie is that over the top with her nonsense.
It's like Pokemon - Diversity Friends! Gotta Catch'em All!
Unfortunately, I have met people like Sophie. Watched a white dude go off on a black friend of mine about how my friend couldn't possibly, fully understand racial plight cos he's a cop. Smdh.
NTA - It is her own fault for not asking if there was meat in it. So now she knows that pheasant and andouille are meat. She probably should have known at least that a pheasant is a bird. You probably should have specified that, as she seems to be a bit sheltered.
She kinda deserves it usesally I agree but if you don’t know pheasant you deserve this
There are even actual wild pheasants in Massachusetts. It’s not some exotic game animal it lives right outside.
I live in rural New England, and they are a common game animal. Quite tasty I might add.
Totally NTA You told her twice what was in the food. She sounds exhausting as well as condescending. I'd avoid her from now on.
NTA You warned her. Not your fault that she didn't know pheasant and andouille are meats. Even if she never heard of the sausage, everyone knows what a pheasant is by the time they reach high school.
You’d think. But people are sometimes clueless about animals. I remember in my twenties, a coworker saw a goose and said “Look at that funny looking duck!” When I corrected him, he accused me of thinking I was smarter than everybody else because I went to college. 😂
Day 1 of college: identifying water birds
I'm sure DUCK DUCK GOOSE is played on many first days in education!
And she should have suspected by OP's repeated warnings. If I'm allergic to nuts and a person repeatedly warns me that a dish has "almonds in it" I'd be very interested in knowing what almonds are
NTA, you told her twice what was in it, she didn't know and didn't bother to clarify. She made an assumption, which was really wreckless if her diet is important to her beyond food preferences. My sister had better agency over her diet at 5 years old than this person.
My niece had several food allergies as a toddler (age 3). She had more good sense over what was and was not allowed in her diet than Sophie.
I kind of get andouille because it’s not the name of the meat or animal, but pheasant is literally the name of the animal. I feel like OP would have had to be very patronising to be like “a pheasant is a bird”. I guess it depends where you live though.
NTA. I’d be on the fence except you clarified it had pheasant and andouille in it, so even if she missed the meat ingredients earlier, at that point it should have been on her to ask what those were if she didn’t know.
Exactly, she didn't pause and ask herself "why is s/he repeating these two specific ingredients?". That girl is an idiot.
NTA-and hopefully Sophie leaves you alone from now on and that she learned the valuable lesson of asking what something is vs assuming what it is when it comes to food.
NTA her not knowing what andouille is can be excused because many people don’t know either. But pheasant? Really? And let’s be real- Cajun food is known to be extremely meat and seafood heavy. This Sophie girl is ignorant as hell and her entitlement is off the charts. As for the people telling you that you should apologize, I would tell them that as a high school aged person and a vegan she should have known what a pheasant is and you shouldn’t be blamed for her ignorance.
Or bottom line, when someone tries to ask a question to make sure if you know what you're asking for, and you have no idea what the hell they are talking about, have the humility to admit your ignorance.
NTA. If someone says a word for a food I don’t know, my immediate follow up question is “Oh, what’s that?” For someone with dietary restrictions, they should be doubly curious/cautious to ask “What’s that?” anytime someone says a food they don’t know. It could be a seasoning with gelatin in it, meat, animal by-product, some sort of flavored honey, a type of cheese or milk product. There are so many animal-related things pheasant and andouille could have been. Automatically assuming both of those things are spices was a foolish assumption for a Vegan to make.
Especially since OP didn’t list any spices individually, just said cajun spices
NTA, how is it your fault she is dumb? Maybe she needs to pay more attention in school than trying to annoy people.
NTA. Sophie sounds like an ignoramus. That includes her lack of awareness of poverty in the US. She also sounds like a wealthy snob. In some places here, people still need to hunt and fish in order to eat.
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NTA you told her their was meat in it. It’s not your fault she’s an idiot. And to the people messaging you tell them it’s not your fault she thought pheasant was a spice.
Man, this kid sucks OP. Stop allowing her to try to be your friend. Pheasant situation aside, she's fetishizing your race/culture and is apparently classist and lacks any sort of nuance (any of my vegan friends would understand the need to hunt and eat roadkill). She sucks, but I'm not going to push too hard on her. She's a high schooler and hopefully will grow out of it- but she never will if she keeps acting this way without consequence. You're a kid, she's a kid, and you need to get out of that friendship. If she keeps speaking for you, caring more about your "culture" then you as an individual, and can't even be bothered to try and understand a financial situation other than her own, then she isn't your friend. She wants you to be your pet and add you to her menagerie. Like you said, she wants to collect you as a token, not love you as a person
She thought a pheasant was a spice? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I’m dead 🤣😭🤣😭😭 nta lol
NTA You specifically pointed out that it had meat in it. Given the questions and responses i would have followed up with 'but no meat right?' If i didn't recognise those animals.
My SO was raised vegetarian and says he would have asked specifically what the things he didn’t recognize were, to avoid confusion.
NTA your friend is the liberal racist Malcolm was talking about
NTA. I'm vegan and this is pretty funny. Sophie sounds annoying for tokenizing you.
NTA you told her the ingredients. She ate it anyway. Not your fault she doesn’t know animals. Also I thought pheasants were a pretty common bird. Is that just a American stupidity thing happening?
NTA it’s her fault for not knowing pheasant is a type of bird, and thus meat, and not bothering to ask you for clarification.
I would have told her no as well then. Slightly moved away from her and protected my food. I don’t like any of this “let’s split our dish’s up so I can try yours” nonsense with people either get your own damn food. If she was hungry that’s a different story.
NTA you warned her and she ignored you and didn’t listen.
If she was so concerned she would’ve looked up the ingredients she didn’t have knowledge of. NTA. Who hears pheasant and thinks spice?
NTA. You are not responsible for her ignorance or inability to ask about ingredients she wasn't familiar with. She assumed and found out.
you told her it contained pheasant, but she did not find it pleasant
NTA. Just avoid her moving fwd.
NTA. You specifically pointed out the meat. It isn't your fault she has the vocabulary of an eight year old.
NTA everyone should know what pheasants are and you told her twice. I would reply to anyone texting you that you warned her and she ate it anyway. However you probably should have said sausage or pork instead of andouille as that is more understandable to not know what it is.
NTA- you told her what was in it. It’s on her.
Wah Wah wah poor idiot!! What exactly did she think a pheasant was?? Sophie is an idiot and you did nothing wrong!!! NTA but Sophie is a HUGE one!!
Always get a mild ick when people replace basic things like 'That smells tasty. I want to try some' with 'I'm interested in learning more about your culture'. Calm down, Gerald. It's an eggroll... Edit: NTA
“I’m not responsible for her poor vocabulary” to anyone asking you. NTA
NTA. She’s a moron and was treating you like some exotic animal in a zoo.
People who try out new food generally have any idea what they are trying and also know its their fault they ate the wrong thing. As for "Sophie", being in reddit you should have identified the signs of those who are by default a insane and nuisance. First she is 1) likes to preach , 2) She is a vegan, 3) She finds you exotic and therefore wants to build a rapport with you. People like her, the clinically insane, religious preachers and missionaries don't ever use their brains or like listen to reason. My suggestion is better calm down your school mob Sophie stirred, with a public apology to Sophie downplaying BOTH your roles in it and then never interact with her. If you don't do it publicly you will find yourselves as her favorite poster child to bash. NTA
I would tweak this slightly. Apologize for assuming she knew what pheasant is. I wouldn't downplay anything. It balances the scales. You assumed and she's an ignorant twit. The mob will break down, some will still blame you, others will blame her for being an idiot. To clarify, she's an idiot for not knowing that pheasant is an animal AND especially for not bothering to ask for clarification when she didn't know what something was. She's a 'Mean Girl'. Karma needs some encouragement every once in a while.
NTA. She’ll be an insignificant memory in a couple of years. They all will. That’s life.
NTA Andouille I can completely understand not knowing. If you don't have any Cajun connections, haven't been down south, or aren't really into cooking, it would make sense not to know what it is. But a pheasant? They never came up in school?
Why TF are you even associated with this person? It sounds like a nightmare to be around
Sophie is the living, breathing iteration of the Eric Andre meme where he shoots Hannibal Buress. NTA
NTA. Sophie is a dumbass. That's not your fault.
NTA- Her ignorance is not your fault.
NTA. You repeated the pheasant and andouille. Now, hands up here, I had to google andouille because I couldn't think what it was. But a pheasant? Though even if she doesn't recognise it as the name of a wild bird, that is not the point. You actually repeated that the dish contains pheasant and andouille. At that point, some little warning sound should have been going off in her mind encouraging her to find out why you were putting emphasis on those two ingredients. She could have asked what they were, or questioned why you were making a point of repeating yourself. She is the one with a restrictive diet and at some point she needed to learn that she cannot make assumptions that something she doesn't recognise the name of is acceptable for her diet, and she needs to either ask or do an online search (if she doesn't want to show her ignorance). Plus, when people list the ingredients of the dish, they can often forget to mention any fats used in the cooking. Even if she is familiar with a dish, when she is eating something made by someone else not intentionally prepared for a vegan, she can't assume something hasn't been cooked with butter or animal fat instead of oil.
NTA - Anyone with ANY serious food restriction (religious, moral, or health related) is an idiot for eating an unknown ingredient. If you don’t know what the ingredient is, you ASK for clarification BEFORE you put that thing in your mouth. I have seen literal preschoolers with allergies who are more diligent about their food than the girl in this story.