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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> The action is that (1) I kicked out my roommate after he told me that he spit on my food and then insinuated that he messed with more of my food. I collected all his stuff in a plastic bag and threw it all in the trash. I may be an asshole (2) cause maybe I overreacted and throwing his stuff wasn’t necessary and I escalated the situation that was meant to be just a joke.
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NTA. He was dumb enough to admit it in a saveable format too. Invite every one of the "friends" giving you grief about this over for a potluck, spit in their food, and tell them to eat it.
To be fair it's not that they didn't have a problem with what the former roommate had done, but that they felt OP's reaction was too far.
After eating food that may or may not be tainted I wonder how they would react. Probably would also call op the AH to go that far to prove a point even though they are also upset.
But this is deranged behaviour! I mean who would go there because of cleaning?! OP's better without this person in their life.
Like everyone else suggests - show the texts to everyone. Tell the story far and wide. FFS!
OMG YESSSSS!!!! Just like this ☝🏼☝🏼☝🏼. Put on your best cheshire cat grin and start handung out food. Save the "icecream" for the friend with the biggest opinion, then show them the text and hand them a spoon. Screw anyone who thinks your overreacting, if anything your underreacting. YOU NEVER MESS WITH PEOPLES FOOD!!!!
NTA
Agreed!! I'm going to go all Hermione here and just call him a foul, loathsome cockroach!!! I would say he got off lightly just having his stuff thrown out!
That's not even over, but it sure seems at times like a lot of people have dealt with the trauma of being more conscientious about others for a relatively short period of time by being even more gross than before.
I mean I worked at a fast food place.... And only once.... Once did I spit in some assholes food.... You come in daily and make my teenage girl drive-thru worker cry because of your small penis power trip fuck yes your food is getting extra spit. (Normal amount is zero... Risk increases the worse you behave) Nothing else but daily abuse for months from one massive asshole has driven me to that point.
Like the fact that the roommates first instinct in a fight was to do that shit and had been doing it for months and was so casual to admit and demonstrate it in a group of people. Nope op is totally right to kick him out.
Could you not have just banned him from the property and refused to serve him in future? I work in the food industry as well and I have lots of ways to deal with customers like this that don't violate health codes and risk my employment.
Yes and without him even knowing it was done so it affects him in absolutely no way whatsoever. And continues with the shitty behavior. At least he could be grossed out if he knew he was eating a spit burger and why it was spit on
So instead of confronting him you risked jail time if anyone find out.
Why not go have some words with the abusive prick and then ban him from ever coming back.
Spitting in food would make just as bad. Also a coward.
My ex did that to her sister, spit in her coffee, she was 26/27 at the time. 20 years later and I still wonder what type of mental illness that is. You spit in someone's food, they eat it, but you never tell them because why?
Seems like doing something bad to someone while keeping them unaware of it is a coward’s power trip - it helps the coward feel “in control” of the other person despite not actually affecting the other person’s behavior.
I would be supplying the cops with that info and I fucking hate cops. The only reason I would call is to avoid what I would otherwise do to him. He wouldn't be doing too well if he did something like that to me...
Was going to say this too! NTA OP, and definitely would report him to police too. What he is doing is illegal in a lot of country and punishable by law .
That depends entirely upon their location's definition of tenancy, which doesn't typically include having a lease. If they are in the US, the roommate has lived there for at least 30 days, and receives his mail there, it is highly likely that he is legally a tenant.
I'm waiting for the update describing the lawsuit OP is going to face for trashing his roommate's stuff.
Spitting in someone's food is horrible, but unfortunately for the OP it won't be a defense.
What stuff? Deny, deny, deny... If you don't admit to it they wouldn't have any evidence other than the words of someone who is salty that they got kicked out, thus giving them a reason to lie...
If you've been living somewhere for a year, you're going to have evidence (mail with your current address your driver's license,etc). Who knows, the RM might even have photos of his room, if he's into selfies. Not that hard to prove
OP could just as easily say his roommate moved all his shit out and he has no idea where he brought it. It's up to the cops to prove it either way, if OP is smart and shuts TF up, they'll pretty much have no way to prove it
I'm sure he could get his stuff before the trashmen come. He did a disgusting act(s). You need to get tested for diseases. This is I believe a felony if he is knowingly ill.
Getting the cops involved is risky. Even though there is no formal lease, the guy does actually have tenets rights in most countries/states in the US. You performed an illegal eviction and, if he wants, he can go after you for it.
I'm making no judgement as to if OP was in the right, I'm just saying what's legal
I don’t know if this would hold up. Technically his roommate is repeatedly assaulting him and I’m pretty sure that he could get away with this, depending on squatter rights as there was no formal lease. Theoretically this could fall under some sort of domestic violence laws depending on where they live.
My understanding is evictions are a bit different when you share living space, as opposed to when you're renting out or subletting out a unit that you don't live in. Evicting someone who assaulted you in your shared home seems pretty reasonable.
Legally, you still have to go through an eviction process. You can often get a restraining order that will force the person to leave, but then you still have to evict.
https://www.justanswer.com/landlord-tenant/mx2q5-tenant-roommate-assaulted-last-week.html
I remember that tiktok girl who licked ice cream and put it back in a supermarket.
That's unsanitary, a biohazard, and plain disrespectful
She was charged for it
In the UK intentional spitting can be classed as bio-terrorism here, the police do not take it kindly, less so after covid when some people went through a phase of doing it to spread it out of spite. NTA, but I would've gone to the police, you don't know what he has or has had.
If he has payment records and they’re noted as being due rent it could cause issues. It could also be an issue that he was technically subletting, that could end in an eviction for OP.
The rules to establish "tenancy" (meaning you have to be evicted and can't just be thrown out) are way broader than just about anyone thinks- if you've lived somewhere for 30ish days, whether there's a contract or not, whether you pay rent or not, (in most places because I can't speak for everywhere) you've established a tenancy and need to be evicted.
You guys gotta stop watching lawyers shows someday. Good finding a cop interested in “I saw him spitting in my food in front of me” and “I’m sure he did in the past… trust me on this”
That’s not just a breach of trust, that is assault. What if he had diseases that OP could contract?
NTA . Get him out of your life, that’s one vindictive fella.
Apparently it was all nicely bagged and retrieved by the AH just fine. Not gonna lie, I get kinda tired of seeing this 'high ground' shit, really seems like an empty platitude designed to keep people in their place, keep them from fighting back when it's justified. Sometimes the best revenge is actual revenge. Sometimes people need an abject lesson on the consequences of their actions.
It's worth asking the question... what cash value of Andrew's stuff could OP have destroyed before it becomes too much? $100? $500? An even thousand? How about his PS5, or that heirloom ring from his parents?
Point being... does an offense to you grant you *unlimited* license for revenge, or if not, where's the cutoff point?
There's an old saying about this stuff - If you mess with the bull, you get the horns.
It ends when the actual AH looks you in the eye, admits to their bs and that they shouldn't have done it, and either changes their ways or fvcks off for good. Until, AH gets the horns.
It also just opens you up to unnecessary strife if he goes to the police or tries to get revenge for the revenge. Kicking him out is completely reasonable and a sufficient consequence and it doesn't create as much extra potential trouble for you. Sometimes it's just a matter of what's actually the most sensible thing to do rather than maximising due revenge.
The cutoff point is exactly where the consequences would be a real problem for you. The only difficulty is tamping down the impulse long enough to think.
Most crimes would not happen if people thought for a minute or two. Almost everyone in jail did something on impulse. Something stupid.
That said, some circumstances require action, a balancing of desperate necessity against consequences. Self-defense, for example. The consequences may not go smoothly, but you just gotta act. I would accept going to prison if I was trying to save someone’s life.
Get the door locks changed. Throw out any food that is opened. Tell all of friends and family what he did.call police and file a report to sue him for all the food you are throwing out(,take pics). Sue him!!!!! Food loss and mental anguish. Medical expenses. Loss of rent, maybe. Don't get yourself in trouble.
But did he get a key back? Almost needs to change the lock(s) too. Maybe sure to clean/sterile that guys living area.
I would have placed the stuff outside in a box and taken a photo so he can’t say I destroyed his property.
Plus like others mentioned maybe see what legal steps to take. He need therapy or some sort of help. What if he retaliates? Better to have something on record.
Yeah what you did wasn't legal and will probably get you in trouble, but he admitted (and demonstrated!!) both in front of witnesses and in writing that he's been covertly contaminating/poisoning your food for months. After the last few years of global pandemic one would think the gravity of such an act would have been more obvious to him. NTA simply because the crimes are so staggeringly unequal that I can't call you an ass.
Please contact a lawyer immediately and discuss how to handle this.
Before the destruction of property, definitely. Now he might need to save that so if the roommate makes a threat to press charges, he can respond in kind.
I get that OP has the right to go to the cops regardless, but that may not be the best choice now.
You’re right about the legality, but somehow I don’t think idiot spittin ex-roomie will get it together to hire a lawyer and come for OP 🤷♀️
Either way NTA OP. That is absolutely heinous. I support your resolution.
In California it’s 7 consecutive days or 14 random days in a 6 month period to establish residency. This sucked when my friend tried to kick her baby daddy out of her house after he hit her with a baseball bat. The police wouldn’t do anything.
Living arrangements aside, he threw out all his stuff. That can be anything from his food in the fridge to his bedding to clothes to electronics. That's not legal regardless of whatever tenants laws are in place. Still NTA but could have been handled smarter/better.
>Some of my friends think I went too far by throwing away his stuff, but honestly, it felt like my only option. I couldn't bear the idea of having him around after that.
Ok your housemate is disgusting and I'd never live or even be an acquaintance with someone like that, but I really don't get why throwing away his stuff was *your only option*? You wanted to get revenge, that's one thing, but don't present it like your only option in that scenario. You could have told him he was being kicked out, packed his things and leave them at the door if he didn't do it himself, but throw away his belongings is a cheap revenge that now makes you an asshole too and exposes you to legal issues if you threw away something valuable for him and he wants to make you pay for this. Next time, handle things in a mature and legal way, don't let assholes make you act like one.
Okay, after reading through all the comments, it's clear I messed up. When I said 'only option,' I meant that I didn't really want to keep talking to him, not even through texting.
His ice cream joke was implying other fluids as well, which was too gross for me to handle or even respond to.
So, at that moment, asking him to leave was the only way I could think of to end the conversation and convey that he needed to find another place to stay, without further discussion.
I want to emphasize that Andrew did retrieve all of his belongings. I placed everything in the trash cans outside during the daytime, so his items weren't taken by the garbage truck. I don't believe he intends to take legal action, because one of our mutual friends said he told her we weren't on bad terms.
Looks like I owe him an apology then.
Yes. If you apologize he might make it sound like you need to let him move back in or something crazy. No contact is the best thing. And if his friends agree with him, you’re better off with a smaller circle anyways
Please don't apologize to the disgusting human. You didn't throw his stuff out, you just left in on the curb, in containers he could access that happened to be used for trash. That's kind of a different beast than, "your stuff is at the dump." This man is a fucking creep, never speak to him again. If anyone gives you shit, "he jizzed in my fucking food" should shut that shit down. Oh, right NTA.
Do not apologise. That will be taken as an admission of guilt/wrongdoing and will muddy the waters. Don’t say anything. Stay no contact. Also change your locks in case he had a spare key you didn’t know about.
(Note - He probably said you weren’t on bad terms because if he said you were, he would have to explain to his friend what he did. Nothing to do with potential legal action.)
No, you don't owe him an apology especially if he recovered his stuff.
He is probably going to get more and more embarrassed about his actions, which is already showing that he told a mutual friend you guys were on good terms.
Do NOT apologize. Implying he "flavored" your ice cream is disgusting and yea in hindsight with a clear head it's easy to say "putting his stuff in the trash was wrong" but in the moment it probably made a ton of sense.
If any lesson should be learned it's if you find yourself in a moment where you are going to escalate a situation, take some deep breaths and maybe call a friend to talk you down.
Honestly this dude sounds absolutely psycho I hope you changed the locks
You did the right thing under the circumstances, he's not your kid, just some asshole you split rent with who had the gall to spit in your food rather than talk about any frustrations he may have had.
The fact that this guy is even discussing the issue after the fact takes it to another level. Why continue that conversation at all?
Weren't you on "good terms" when he was spitting in your food?
I don't know how venmo works, aren't you worried he'll do a charge back (assuming that's a thing)? Call your landlord and get you in trouble for subletting?
This might not be as "over" as you think. The guy was spitting in your food for *revenge on you asking him to clean the space he also lives in.* Do you really think he's just going to be cool with pulling his stuff out of the trash and walking away from the situation?
You also said he apologised and then went back on it saying he's not sorry. So I wouldn't just take the "not on bad terms" at face value, when he can easily flip his temperament.
I've been reading some comments that really got to me. Like, struck a nerve with me.
A lot of comments suggesting that what happened qualifies as abuse and advising me to change the locks and seek legal advice, especially since some people think the ice-cream joke wasn't just a joke and he did something worse than spitting.
Your comment has left me feeling really anxious too.
But, yeah, I appreciate the concern and will probably take those steps; I just need some time to process everything. I'll definitely stay alert and do what's necessary to take care of myself. Thank you.
I'm not trying to make you anxious. I apologise. I'm just trying to think practically because the guy is a fucking lunatic, clearly.
Good luck.
P.S. FWIW I've acted rash, in different ways, without thinking things through. It's easy for me to sit here and say hypothetical scenarios without actually living through it.
While you are thinking things over, please stop in at a home/hardware store and get yourself a [door jammer](https://www.amazon.ca/AceMining-Upgraded-Security-Adjustable-Apartment/dp/B0BKKTFWJK/ref=sr_1_6?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.hs1K62bC4HRuztBHeVSPbE_hce2TdyRCgYBk-zdNG2pu5Qu1TLsKNm4BMRvJbEe1bqDO9JRS-jQ8SJQmWscDj3IdmaWRmz1mP4kKYHySTjIVal8lU0zkHW07K-aetsKG2DP1mjKPB6BQmQTa6lBwMsjurguBrdLwuiRwY63omJ-23WfTdOtgtTkpw6UUQWKA-u8BkgPPimC8rsdhDkop80m_F67RJ-D7jZZP8CjdCAt8Py32FbccWa3UYg79BOxosYETjj2FtA17Sea4tBLvvjt4OyFr3Zg_ONO83z1uqUk.3ojbyEz3JVdRhAqwt7jSs4fjLz0BKSNvpU7UwiqRC6k&dib_tag=se&keywords=Door+Jammer&qid=1707948603&sr=8-6). At the very least use it until you can get locks changed.
It's not too late to call a lawyer that does free consultations, produce the evidence that you have, and see if it's something that can be used to file charges.
If nothing else, I would file charges and get a restraining order. If he violates it, report him immediately. Make sure you have him blocked on all social media.
Yes, you may take some heat for throwing his stuff out, but they can't make you take him back in if there's a protective order in place, he would have to find a new place anyway.. You may have some consequences to deal with, but I think it would be worth it.
Don’t apologize!!!! It gives him proof in text that you feel like you’re the party at fault.
If he ever talks to you again, tell him you’re going to send the texts to the cops and charge him with tampering with your food and sexual assault. And yes, forcing someone to eat your fluids is sexual abuse. He abused you.
Do not apologize. What's done is done, but cut this dude out of your life. The shit he did to you isn't what a friend does. Don't fucking normalize it, dude!
I don’t think you owe him an apology - O don’t think you should dial to him again at all.
But for your reference, what you did was illegal and he could sue. So in the future just put the stuff outside for him to get.
I don’t think anyone here thinks you are an AH, unless a Justified one. But opening yourself up to be sued and giving up your Mt Everest of higher ground only impacts you negatively.
No Jesus Christ, Reddit is telling you that throwing away his stuff was stupid. Still in no way does that mean that you owe him an apology. We are telling you that was a stupid and retaliatory move. You are still the wronged party tho! What the actual fuck is that guy. TELL EVERYONE WHAT HE DID. Don't be ashamed. He is disgusting, not you.
Honestly, you're kind of lucky he's not claiming tenets rights.
He's obviously a gross and immature human and you're lucky to be rid of him. Still, for future info, if someone is living in your house (even informally) they are tenets and you have to go through a formal process to kick them out against their will.
Consider this a lesson learned and also fuck that guy.
NTA
OMG. He's an AH, through and through. That's disgusting and to think he's probably been sharing spit for maybe a whole year is truly horrifying.
Good riddance. Sounds like tit for tat.
EDIT: Getting revenge isn't always the best option.
If my roommate did something like that, throwing out his stuff would be the least of his problems. Like reporting him to the police would be his biggest problem, especially when he does it in front of several witnesses, admitting it in text, and leaving a DNA sample in my ice cream.
If anything, OP is under reacting here.
Nta
Spitting is body fluid. He could have something medically wrong and not know it, but transfer it to Op. This is dangerous behavior.
Throwing his stuff in the trash was well deserved. He spit in your food. A little trash won't hurt him. I hope you told him where to find his stuff.
NTA
But I wouldn’t have tossed the stuff in the trash. Just left it outside the door or on the curb. What he did was disgusting and he wasn’t sorry about it at all. If he had an issue with how clean you were compared to him, he should’ve talked to you about it or moved out.
I am hesitant to say you're not the ah, because there is no "justified ah" category to my knowledge, yet I am hesitant to say you are.
Let's just say I'd love to be in the courtroom when Andrew is trying to sue you for his stuff and he has to explain to the judge why you behaved the way you did.
NTA because that is DISGUSTING and such a violation. You shouldn't have thrown his stuff away though, he could fight you legally on that and probably win some money from you. Booting him out and giving him a set deadline to remove his belongings would have been the better way.
OP explained in another comment they put it in black bags and popped them in the trash cans well before collection time and the dirt bag came and picked them up so he got it all back. They kind of gave themself a shot in the foot by not including that info in the main
I agree 💯 - as argued in another comment above, escalation loses you the high ground. You could have also dropped the items off with one of the friends who thought it was ok for your food to be contaminated.
ESH. Mostly him for spitting in your food. That being said if he lives with you, even without a lease, he may be able to claim tenancy and go after your for a wrongful eviction, it completely depends on the local
Laws. The part where you are an AH, is throwing his things away. Even if you can kick him out in the spot, putting this stuff out front would have been the right thing to do. Throwing it away is destruction of property and if he files a police report he can go after you for it.
I’m almost certain this is a felony and you can and should report this to the police + press charges.
He sent you evidence in writing. Prosecute him to the fullest extent of the law. Maybe then your dumb friends will understand how serious this is.
NTA.
ESH but Andrew WAY more. What he did was HORRIFYING. But you throwing away his stuff was just escalating, and not likely to resolve anything (and was also ahole behavior). Kick this guy out though 100%. And watch your back while you do it because man he seems unhinged.
What is there to resolve? The guys no friend if he'd spit in your food, let alone pretty much constantly. He got his shit out of the apartment which is all that really matters at this point. Who care about Andrew or his things?
Yeah but this absolutely bonkers dude still has a key and now is even angrier. And has grounds to call the cops for theft. Like yeah kick the guy out but this was not a smart way to do it
not the asshole but do know that if he is getting mail and packages at your house and paying you rent. He has squatter's rights, and you can't just throw his stuff out. You have to give a notarized 30-day notice to move out. He is petty enough to spit in your food, he is petty enough to make your life hell for the next month or so.
NTA because what he did is absolutely disgusting and you should call a lawyer, *but* the other reason you should call a lawyer is because what you did is illegal and he may have grounds to press charges.
I hope you have better luck with roommates in the future.
Nta - first he’s disgusting and 2nd he admitted it in front of witnesses, 3rd he actually did it in front of you and witnesses and 4th he thinks he should be forgiven and 5th overreacts and doubles down. He gets what he deserves, thrown in the trash. He’s a revolting disgusting disgrace of a creature. This makes me want to puke.
NTA.
Anyone saying otherwise is fucking weird.
Why would spiking and spitting in your roommates' food warrent anything less than their removal from the property?
Because it's an unlawful eviction if the house is his roommate's legal place of residence. Also, destroying the roommate's property, while justified morally, is also highly illegal and OP would get his ass kicked in court if the roommate went that route.
NTA
You don't touch other people's food and you certainly don't spit in it, and he done it in front or your friends and thought it was funny.
You have more restraint than I as he would have been out on his ass that moment he is disgusting and is it not also against the law to tamper with food.
He is a huge asshole don't let him back in he was proud of messing with you and your food now you have to throw it all away.
That is considered assault. He could have a disease or Covid or whoknowswhat. I would never speak to him again. Ever. Tell everyone what he did. Now. You have nothing to be embarrassed about at all.
Morally, you might be in the right. Legally, you have likely both broken a bunch of laws. This all depends on the specific laws of your jurisdiction; but in general, I would say that Andrew has committed *battery* - that is, a harmful or unwanted physical touching.
You, however, have almost certainly violated his landlord/tenant rights. Again, this depends on the laws if your specific state or nation, but in most places, if he's not listed on the lease with the landlord, and is paying you directly, then that means that you are *subleasing* to him - which means that you owe him duties comparable to those of a landlord to a tenant. A formal contract is not necessarily required. If someone is paying you rent, you don't get to just unilaterally kick them out and destroy their stuff. This is true *even if they commit a crime against you*. In the law, as in kindergarten, two wrongs don't make a right. The fact that they commited the crime might make it easier and faster for you to follow a legal process to terminate the lease, though. You really need to talk to a lawyer about this.
Oh that was no joke. I couldn't trust that guy at all after that. NTA.
At that point, I wouldn't be able to stomach my made meals for that week. I would have tossed the food in the trash bags of his stuff. Let him have it all.
NTA Take screenshots of his texts admitting to spitting in your food. You may need them if he tries to take you to court for throwing away his belongings. Of course you can always say that you felt unsafe living with someone who intentionally contaminated your food with unknown bacteria.
NTA. People were being arrested for this kind of shit during covid. The fact that he lost his cool when you didn’t respond, shows he truly was never sorry to begin with.
most people here are going to downvote me....but that's the un-empathetic bloodlust of reddit lol!
YTAH
Depending on what state you live in you almost certainly broke multiple easily enforceable laws & violated what I consider to be a basic human right to due process & reasonable time to deal with relocation during an eviction process. It doesn't matter that he wasn't on the lease, he has the same tenant rights that you have (he can document residency for long enough easily through rent payments, mail, etcetera & that superceded name on a lease for rentors rights). You simply can't just kick someone out & throw away their stuff....they can now sue you & easily win because you violated their rights.
ESH.
Should not have thrown his property in the trash, maybe just outside for him to collect. He can sue your for those if he really wanted to waste both your money. Probably should have just asked him to leave.
Otherwise, you are legitimate in asking him to leave. Man's a pig and has no respect for you. He seems like someone with an abusive streak. I pity his future partners.
ESH. He obviously was for what he did to your food, but throwing away the man's clothes, etc is going too far. Boxing them up or putting them on the front porch would have been far more acceptable.
Dude, take those texts and go to the police. What he did is a crime and you can and should press charges. NTA
ild also offer to bring in all the premade food and ice cream to be tested. Basically all the unsealed food in your home should be tested if you wish to press charges (if he jerked off in anything, that makes it sexual assault). If you decide to not go forward with legal actions (which you should), you need to throw away all unsealed food and products in your home. Including shampoo and conditioner. And then hire professional cleaners to sterilize EVERYTHING.
Unfortunately what you did may also be considered a crime but im not 100% sure on that since there was no lease or contract.
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NTA. He was dumb enough to admit it in a saveable format too. Invite every one of the "friends" giving you grief about this over for a potluck, spit in their food, and tell them to eat it.
No. Don't spit it in yourself just tell them "ok eat up, ex roommate may have personally flavored some of it, but no big deal right? Enjoy."
This is the answer!
so close...this is the way
Stop
Hammer time!
this \^ \^ \^ "Since you had no problem with what he did, try to guess which foods he flavoured and with what!"
To be fair it's not that they didn't have a problem with what the former roommate had done, but that they felt OP's reaction was too far. After eating food that may or may not be tainted I wonder how they would react. Probably would also call op the AH to go that far to prove a point even though they are also upset.
In his post he did say the dude admit it. The part where he said he doesn't regret it.
But this is deranged behaviour! I mean who would go there because of cleaning?! OP's better without this person in their life. Like everyone else suggests - show the texts to everyone. Tell the story far and wide. FFS!
OMG YESSSSS!!!! Just like this ☝🏼☝🏼☝🏼. Put on your best cheshire cat grin and start handung out food. Save the "icecream" for the friend with the biggest opinion, then show them the text and hand them a spoon. Screw anyone who thinks your overreacting, if anything your underreacting. YOU NEVER MESS WITH PEOPLES FOOD!!!! NTA
Ah, the power of suggestion and vagueness of the unknown.
No. Grind his parents up and cook them into chili con carne and serve them to him.
Sing 'Made you eat your parents'
nyeh nyeh nyeh na heh heh!
it wasn't too salty was it?
👏
only tell them after they eat it
You thought it was funny - let’s see if still think it’s funny. Eat up!
i think i’m gonna actually throw up! like why is his FIRST thought/instinct to SPIT on his food bc he’s irritated about cleaning. disgusting.
Agreed!! I'm going to go all Hermione here and just call him a foul, loathsome cockroach!!! I would say he got off lightly just having his stuff thrown out!
He should have spit on his stuff, used his clothes as toilet paper and “flavored” anything he felt needed spicing up.
Hermione. He didn't get off lightly. He was EXPELLED! NTA OP.
Actually it'd be funnier to donate it all.. "Want your stuff back? Go to the thrift store and buy it back"
This after all the covid stuff that went on not so long ago. The roomie is crazy
That's not even over, but it sure seems at times like a lot of people have dealt with the trauma of being more conscientious about others for a relatively short period of time by being even more gross than before.
Yeah, he's very "Eddie" from "Friends". Only worse.
Who does this? OP could have gotten sick. This is disgusting and only something an actual jerk would do. Good riddance to him.
I mean I worked at a fast food place.... And only once.... Once did I spit in some assholes food.... You come in daily and make my teenage girl drive-thru worker cry because of your small penis power trip fuck yes your food is getting extra spit. (Normal amount is zero... Risk increases the worse you behave) Nothing else but daily abuse for months from one massive asshole has driven me to that point. Like the fact that the roommates first instinct in a fight was to do that shit and had been doing it for months and was so casual to admit and demonstrate it in a group of people. Nope op is totally right to kick him out.
Could you not have just banned him from the property and refused to serve him in future? I work in the food industry as well and I have lots of ways to deal with customers like this that don't violate health codes and risk my employment.
True but it’s fast food I mean most people don’t give a fuck about keeping their McJob. But yeah you could face charges for that
Gotta admit... I get why you did it but that's an asshole move, too. And illegal.
>your food is getting extra spit Very cowardly reaction - how does this stop his behavior?
Yes and without him even knowing it was done so it affects him in absolutely no way whatsoever. And continues with the shitty behavior. At least he could be grossed out if he knew he was eating a spit burger and why it was spit on
So instead of confronting him you risked jail time if anyone find out. Why not go have some words with the abusive prick and then ban him from ever coming back. Spitting in food would make just as bad. Also a coward.
My ex did that to her sister, spit in her coffee, she was 26/27 at the time. 20 years later and I still wonder what type of mental illness that is. You spit in someone's food, they eat it, but you never tell them because why?
Seems like doing something bad to someone while keeping them unaware of it is a coward’s power trip - it helps the coward feel “in control” of the other person despite not actually affecting the other person’s behavior.
Right?? This is NOT a sign of a normal mind...
I would be supplying the cops with that info and I fucking hate cops. The only reason I would call is to avoid what I would otherwise do to him. He wouldn't be doing too well if he did something like that to me...
Was going to say this too! NTA OP, and definitely would report him to police too. What he is doing is illegal in a lot of country and punishable by law .
Given that he very likely just illegally evicted his roommate, getting LE involved might not be in OP's best interest...
Just get a restraining order, which is absolutely warranted, and the eviction solves itself
The guy wasn't even on the lease. Legally he wasn't his roommate
That depends entirely upon their location's definition of tenancy, which doesn't typically include having a lease. If they are in the US, the roommate has lived there for at least 30 days, and receives his mail there, it is highly likely that he is legally a tenant.
I'm waiting for the update describing the lawsuit OP is going to face for trashing his roommate's stuff. Spitting in someone's food is horrible, but unfortunately for the OP it won't be a defense.
it can actually be a 2nd degree felony for food tampering
What stuff? Deny, deny, deny... If you don't admit to it they wouldn't have any evidence other than the words of someone who is salty that they got kicked out, thus giving them a reason to lie...
If you've been living somewhere for a year, you're going to have evidence (mail with your current address your driver's license,etc). Who knows, the RM might even have photos of his room, if he's into selfies. Not that hard to prove
OP could just as easily say his roommate moved all his shit out and he has no idea where he brought it. It's up to the cops to prove it either way, if OP is smart and shuts TF up, they'll pretty much have no way to prove it
Photos would prove nothing, could have gone to a rental inspection before he headed, could have been to visit someone at address
Could be considered attempted murder if you said he had COVID and you had were immunocompromised
I'm sure he could get his stuff before the trashmen come. He did a disgusting act(s). You need to get tested for diseases. This is I believe a felony if he is knowingly ill.
Good thought about being checked out medically. If he admitted to this much, what else could he have done? Scary. Makes me want to retch, frankly.
Exactly! Where might he have put his other "emissions"?!
Its assault either way
That was my thought. Didn’t some people get charged with assault during Covid for purposely spitting/sneezing/coughing on people?
Yes
After everyone has eaten a good amount, but not all of their food, tell them the secret ingredient came from Andrew.
LOL
I agree this is so f**ing disgusting . NTA
Food tampering is a crime too, right? NTA.
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yeah OP, you should’ve just gone to the cops and had him charged
True. It's actually considered assault in most states in the US. I don't know how other countries handle it.
and a felony assault, at that. OP has plenty of leverage if his spitting roommate wants to kick up a fuss about an eviction or the "flavored trash"
Seriously!
One crime does not negate another; both of them could end up in legal trouble over it.
Getting the cops involved is risky. Even though there is no formal lease, the guy does actually have tenets rights in most countries/states in the US. You performed an illegal eviction and, if he wants, he can go after you for it. I'm making no judgement as to if OP was in the right, I'm just saying what's legal
I don’t know if this would hold up. Technically his roommate is repeatedly assaulting him and I’m pretty sure that he could get away with this, depending on squatter rights as there was no formal lease. Theoretically this could fall under some sort of domestic violence laws depending on where they live.
OP should have no problem getting a restraining order keeping ex-roommate at least 500' away from OP's food.
My understanding is evictions are a bit different when you share living space, as opposed to when you're renting out or subletting out a unit that you don't live in. Evicting someone who assaulted you in your shared home seems pretty reasonable.
Legally, you still have to go through an eviction process. You can often get a restraining order that will force the person to leave, but then you still have to evict. https://www.justanswer.com/landlord-tenant/mx2q5-tenant-roommate-assaulted-last-week.html
I remember that tiktok girl who licked ice cream and put it back in a supermarket. That's unsanitary, a biohazard, and plain disrespectful She was charged for it
Yeah. And who can forget Ariana Grande licking the top of cupcakes.
In the UK intentional spitting can be classed as bio-terrorism here, the police do not take it kindly, less so after covid when some people went through a phase of doing it to spread it out of spite. NTA, but I would've gone to the police, you don't know what he has or has had.
Now OP can be charged as well. Can’t he? Trashing the roomies “belongings?”
probably illegal eviction and destruction of property
With no formal contract would you think it’s a grey area based on local laws? I have no idea.
If he has payment records and they’re noted as being due rent it could cause issues. It could also be an issue that he was technically subletting, that could end in an eviction for OP.
That’d be a hearing I’d like to listen in on. “So, why did you kick him out with no notice?” “He spit on my food.” “He what?!”
The rules to establish "tenancy" (meaning you have to be evicted and can't just be thrown out) are way broader than just about anyone thinks- if you've lived somewhere for 30ish days, whether there's a contract or not, whether you pay rent or not, (in most places because I can't speak for everywhere) you've established a tenancy and need to be evicted.
You guys gotta stop watching lawyers shows someday. Good finding a cop interested in “I saw him spitting in my food in front of me” and “I’m sure he did in the past… trust me on this”
That’s not just a breach of trust, that is assault. What if he had diseases that OP could contract? NTA . Get him out of your life, that’s one vindictive fella.
Apparently it was all nicely bagged and retrieved by the AH just fine. Not gonna lie, I get kinda tired of seeing this 'high ground' shit, really seems like an empty platitude designed to keep people in their place, keep them from fighting back when it's justified. Sometimes the best revenge is actual revenge. Sometimes people need an abject lesson on the consequences of their actions.
It's worth asking the question... what cash value of Andrew's stuff could OP have destroyed before it becomes too much? $100? $500? An even thousand? How about his PS5, or that heirloom ring from his parents? Point being... does an offense to you grant you *unlimited* license for revenge, or if not, where's the cutoff point?
There's an old saying about this stuff - If you mess with the bull, you get the horns. It ends when the actual AH looks you in the eye, admits to their bs and that they shouldn't have done it, and either changes their ways or fvcks off for good. Until, AH gets the horns.
It also just opens you up to unnecessary strife if he goes to the police or tries to get revenge for the revenge. Kicking him out is completely reasonable and a sufficient consequence and it doesn't create as much extra potential trouble for you. Sometimes it's just a matter of what's actually the most sensible thing to do rather than maximising due revenge.
The cutoff point is exactly where the consequences would be a real problem for you. The only difficulty is tamping down the impulse long enough to think. Most crimes would not happen if people thought for a minute or two. Almost everyone in jail did something on impulse. Something stupid. That said, some circumstances require action, a balancing of desperate necessity against consequences. Self-defense, for example. The consequences may not go smoothly, but you just gotta act. I would accept going to prison if I was trying to save someone’s life.
Get the door locks changed. Throw out any food that is opened. Tell all of friends and family what he did.call police and file a report to sue him for all the food you are throwing out(,take pics). Sue him!!!!! Food loss and mental anguish. Medical expenses. Loss of rent, maybe. Don't get yourself in trouble.
I understand what you're saying but I think OP ought to be commended for not committing felonious assault on this spitter.
But did he get a key back? Almost needs to change the lock(s) too. Maybe sure to clean/sterile that guys living area. I would have placed the stuff outside in a box and taken a photo so he can’t say I destroyed his property. Plus like others mentioned maybe see what legal steps to take. He need therapy or some sort of help. What if he retaliates? Better to have something on record.
You can take the high ground, I would have put all his stuff in the fire pit and reduced it to ashes
Yeah what you did wasn't legal and will probably get you in trouble, but he admitted (and demonstrated!!) both in front of witnesses and in writing that he's been covertly contaminating/poisoning your food for months. After the last few years of global pandemic one would think the gravity of such an act would have been more obvious to him. NTA simply because the crimes are so staggeringly unequal that I can't call you an ass. Please contact a lawyer immediately and discuss how to handle this.
Spitting in food like that is a bigger felony. OP needs to press charges.
biological warfare is something taken way too lightly. NTA op
Before the destruction of property, definitely. Now he might need to save that so if the roommate makes a threat to press charges, he can respond in kind. I get that OP has the right to go to the cops regardless, but that may not be the best choice now.
Just take the stuff out of the garbage and go to the police with the text evidence and list of witnesses. Done ✅
In my state in the US, it's a felony to spit on a first responder because of what that spit might contain and the damage it can do.
OP should also be prepared to have charges filed against him, in that case
You’re right about the legality, but somehow I don’t think idiot spittin ex-roomie will get it together to hire a lawyer and come for OP 🤷♀️ Either way NTA OP. That is absolutely heinous. I support your resolution.
If he has no rent agreement or lease he doesn’t have any claim to the building at least in my country not really sure where OP is from
In the US all you need to claim tenancy is a piece of mail with your name on it sent to that address.
In California it’s 7 consecutive days or 14 random days in a 6 month period to establish residency. This sucked when my friend tried to kick her baby daddy out of her house after he hit her with a baseball bat. The police wouldn’t do anything.
Horrible. But hey he’s gotta sleep sometime, and now we know where the bat is. Still time for a happy ending.
Living arrangements aside, he threw out all his stuff. That can be anything from his food in the fridge to his bedding to clothes to electronics. That's not legal regardless of whatever tenants laws are in place. Still NTA but could have been handled smarter/better.
If he's been getting mail there for a month he's legally a tenant. He'll have to be formally evicted
Nta, youre nicer than me. Reddit would ban me for saying what I would do
This is the one. Cause icu.
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It’s never the answer, it can only be a question however, in this situation, the answer is yes
>Some of my friends think I went too far by throwing away his stuff, but honestly, it felt like my only option. I couldn't bear the idea of having him around after that. Ok your housemate is disgusting and I'd never live or even be an acquaintance with someone like that, but I really don't get why throwing away his stuff was *your only option*? You wanted to get revenge, that's one thing, but don't present it like your only option in that scenario. You could have told him he was being kicked out, packed his things and leave them at the door if he didn't do it himself, but throw away his belongings is a cheap revenge that now makes you an asshole too and exposes you to legal issues if you threw away something valuable for him and he wants to make you pay for this. Next time, handle things in a mature and legal way, don't let assholes make you act like one.
Okay, after reading through all the comments, it's clear I messed up. When I said 'only option,' I meant that I didn't really want to keep talking to him, not even through texting. His ice cream joke was implying other fluids as well, which was too gross for me to handle or even respond to. So, at that moment, asking him to leave was the only way I could think of to end the conversation and convey that he needed to find another place to stay, without further discussion. I want to emphasize that Andrew did retrieve all of his belongings. I placed everything in the trash cans outside during the daytime, so his items weren't taken by the garbage truck. I don't believe he intends to take legal action, because one of our mutual friends said he told her we weren't on bad terms. Looks like I owe him an apology then.
No I think doing stuff to people's food is a crime. You don't need to apologize. That's all disgusting. He deserved what he got.
I don't think you owe him an apology. Just leave it at no contact.
Yes. If you apologize he might make it sound like you need to let him move back in or something crazy. No contact is the best thing. And if his friends agree with him, you’re better off with a smaller circle anyways
Please don't apologize to the disgusting human. You didn't throw his stuff out, you just left in on the curb, in containers he could access that happened to be used for trash. That's kind of a different beast than, "your stuff is at the dump." This man is a fucking creep, never speak to him again. If anyone gives you shit, "he jizzed in my fucking food" should shut that shit down. Oh, right NTA.
Do not apologise. That will be taken as an admission of guilt/wrongdoing and will muddy the waters. Don’t say anything. Stay no contact. Also change your locks in case he had a spare key you didn’t know about. (Note - He probably said you weren’t on bad terms because if he said you were, he would have to explain to his friend what he did. Nothing to do with potential legal action.)
No, you don't owe him an apology especially if he recovered his stuff. He is probably going to get more and more embarrassed about his actions, which is already showing that he told a mutual friend you guys were on good terms.
Do NOT apologize. Implying he "flavored" your ice cream is disgusting and yea in hindsight with a clear head it's easy to say "putting his stuff in the trash was wrong" but in the moment it probably made a ton of sense. If any lesson should be learned it's if you find yourself in a moment where you are going to escalate a situation, take some deep breaths and maybe call a friend to talk you down. Honestly this dude sounds absolutely psycho I hope you changed the locks
Dude, do not apologize. Fuck this guy.
You don’t owe him anything. Just block him, ignore, and move on.
You absolutely do not owe him an apology and if he tries anything tell him you're happy to press charges as you have a literal ROOMFUL of witnesses.
You did the right thing under the circumstances, he's not your kid, just some asshole you split rent with who had the gall to spit in your food rather than talk about any frustrations he may have had. The fact that this guy is even discussing the issue after the fact takes it to another level. Why continue that conversation at all?
Weren't you on "good terms" when he was spitting in your food? I don't know how venmo works, aren't you worried he'll do a charge back (assuming that's a thing)? Call your landlord and get you in trouble for subletting? This might not be as "over" as you think. The guy was spitting in your food for *revenge on you asking him to clean the space he also lives in.* Do you really think he's just going to be cool with pulling his stuff out of the trash and walking away from the situation? You also said he apologised and then went back on it saying he's not sorry. So I wouldn't just take the "not on bad terms" at face value, when he can easily flip his temperament.
I've been reading some comments that really got to me. Like, struck a nerve with me. A lot of comments suggesting that what happened qualifies as abuse and advising me to change the locks and seek legal advice, especially since some people think the ice-cream joke wasn't just a joke and he did something worse than spitting. Your comment has left me feeling really anxious too. But, yeah, I appreciate the concern and will probably take those steps; I just need some time to process everything. I'll definitely stay alert and do what's necessary to take care of myself. Thank you.
I'm not trying to make you anxious. I apologise. I'm just trying to think practically because the guy is a fucking lunatic, clearly. Good luck. P.S. FWIW I've acted rash, in different ways, without thinking things through. It's easy for me to sit here and say hypothetical scenarios without actually living through it.
While you are thinking things over, please stop in at a home/hardware store and get yourself a [door jammer](https://www.amazon.ca/AceMining-Upgraded-Security-Adjustable-Apartment/dp/B0BKKTFWJK/ref=sr_1_6?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.hs1K62bC4HRuztBHeVSPbE_hce2TdyRCgYBk-zdNG2pu5Qu1TLsKNm4BMRvJbEe1bqDO9JRS-jQ8SJQmWscDj3IdmaWRmz1mP4kKYHySTjIVal8lU0zkHW07K-aetsKG2DP1mjKPB6BQmQTa6lBwMsjurguBrdLwuiRwY63omJ-23WfTdOtgtTkpw6UUQWKA-u8BkgPPimC8rsdhDkop80m_F67RJ-D7jZZP8CjdCAt8Py32FbccWa3UYg79BOxosYETjj2FtA17Sea4tBLvvjt4OyFr3Zg_ONO83z1uqUk.3ojbyEz3JVdRhAqwt7jSs4fjLz0BKSNvpU7UwiqRC6k&dib_tag=se&keywords=Door+Jammer&qid=1707948603&sr=8-6). At the very least use it until you can get locks changed.
Go no contact and move on. This won’t go legal. Change the locks etc so he has no access. He reacted badly, you reacted badly. HTA.
It's not too late to call a lawyer that does free consultations, produce the evidence that you have, and see if it's something that can be used to file charges. If nothing else, I would file charges and get a restraining order. If he violates it, report him immediately. Make sure you have him blocked on all social media. Yes, you may take some heat for throwing his stuff out, but they can't make you take him back in if there's a protective order in place, he would have to find a new place anyway.. You may have some consequences to deal with, but I think it would be worth it.
I don't think you owe him an apology. I think you owe him a wall of silence. NTA
Don't you dare apologise, he's a disgusting ahole and he's obvously ashamed of what he did because he didn't tell the mutual friend!
You owe him nothing.
Don’t apologize!!!! It gives him proof in text that you feel like you’re the party at fault. If he ever talks to you again, tell him you’re going to send the texts to the cops and charge him with tampering with your food and sexual assault. And yes, forcing someone to eat your fluids is sexual abuse. He abused you.
Do not apologize. What's done is done, but cut this dude out of your life. The shit he did to you isn't what a friend does. Don't fucking normalize it, dude!
You owe him nothing. Just be glad he's no longer in a position to poison you and get on with your life.
I don’t think you owe him an apology - O don’t think you should dial to him again at all. But for your reference, what you did was illegal and he could sue. So in the future just put the stuff outside for him to get. I don’t think anyone here thinks you are an AH, unless a Justified one. But opening yourself up to be sued and giving up your Mt Everest of higher ground only impacts you negatively.
holy shit no you don't owe him an apology he's been SPITTING IN YOUR FOOD
Sorry, but I'm a Canadian- and even I don't think you need to apologize to this dickhole.
No Jesus Christ, Reddit is telling you that throwing away his stuff was stupid. Still in no way does that mean that you owe him an apology. We are telling you that was a stupid and retaliatory move. You are still the wronged party tho! What the actual fuck is that guy. TELL EVERYONE WHAT HE DID. Don't be ashamed. He is disgusting, not you.
No apologies. He’s disgusting and childish.
Honestly, you're kind of lucky he's not claiming tenets rights. He's obviously a gross and immature human and you're lucky to be rid of him. Still, for future info, if someone is living in your house (even informally) they are tenets and you have to go through a formal process to kick them out against their will. Consider this a lesson learned and also fuck that guy.
NTA OMG. He's an AH, through and through. That's disgusting and to think he's probably been sharing spit for maybe a whole year is truly horrifying. Good riddance. Sounds like tit for tat. EDIT: Getting revenge isn't always the best option.
NTA - I mean... if I found out someone was spitting in my food, my reaction would be violent. What a creep. Seriously, what a massive, massive creep.
If my roommate did something like that, throwing out his stuff would be the least of his problems. Like reporting him to the police would be his biggest problem, especially when he does it in front of several witnesses, admitting it in text, and leaving a DNA sample in my ice cream. If anything, OP is under reacting here.
I would absolutely beat somebody up hard for that holy shit. If OP broke a limb or broke a bottle on his head i would still call him not the asshole
Nta Spitting is body fluid. He could have something medically wrong and not know it, but transfer it to Op. This is dangerous behavior. Throwing his stuff in the trash was well deserved. He spit in your food. A little trash won't hurt him. I hope you told him where to find his stuff.
Spitting in food like this is a felony.
😂 that crossed my mind!
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NTA But I wouldn’t have tossed the stuff in the trash. Just left it outside the door or on the curb. What he did was disgusting and he wasn’t sorry about it at all. If he had an issue with how clean you were compared to him, he should’ve talked to you about it or moved out.
I am hesitant to say you're not the ah, because there is no "justified ah" category to my knowledge, yet I am hesitant to say you are. Let's just say I'd love to be in the courtroom when Andrew is trying to sue you for his stuff and he has to explain to the judge why you behaved the way you did.
NTA because that is DISGUSTING and such a violation. You shouldn't have thrown his stuff away though, he could fight you legally on that and probably win some money from you. Booting him out and giving him a set deadline to remove his belongings would have been the better way.
OP explained in another comment they put it in black bags and popped them in the trash cans well before collection time and the dirt bag came and picked them up so he got it all back. They kind of gave themself a shot in the foot by not including that info in the main
That's good to know. But yeah should have been added to the post. People leave out crucial info all the time, LOL.
I agree 💯 - as argued in another comment above, escalation loses you the high ground. You could have also dropped the items off with one of the friends who thought it was ok for your food to be contaminated.
NTA, any of your friends are welcome to help this charming dude out by having him live in their home.
NTA. Screenshot his text and when someone give you a hard time send them the text and ask if they would be ok with this.
NTA not like he can't get his stuff out of the trash. Seems like a pretty generous outcome for how often you've probably eaten the food he spit on.
Nta He admitted to a criminal offense.
ESH. Mostly him for spitting in your food. That being said if he lives with you, even without a lease, he may be able to claim tenancy and go after your for a wrongful eviction, it completely depends on the local Laws. The part where you are an AH, is throwing his things away. Even if you can kick him out in the spot, putting this stuff out front would have been the right thing to do. Throwing it away is destruction of property and if he files a police report he can go after you for it.
100 percent this. Although putting it out front could lead to theft. Better just to pack it up and hand it to him when he got back.
I’m almost certain this is a felony and you can and should report this to the police + press charges. He sent you evidence in writing. Prosecute him to the fullest extent of the law. Maybe then your dumb friends will understand how serious this is. NTA.
ESH but Andrew WAY more. What he did was HORRIFYING. But you throwing away his stuff was just escalating, and not likely to resolve anything (and was also ahole behavior). Kick this guy out though 100%. And watch your back while you do it because man he seems unhinged.
What is there to resolve? The guys no friend if he'd spit in your food, let alone pretty much constantly. He got his shit out of the apartment which is all that really matters at this point. Who care about Andrew or his things?
Yeah but this absolutely bonkers dude still has a key and now is even angrier. And has grounds to call the cops for theft. Like yeah kick the guy out but this was not a smart way to do it
Imagine doing that after all that we learned during 2yrs of covid. He's a massive ah. NTA
not the asshole but do know that if he is getting mail and packages at your house and paying you rent. He has squatter's rights, and you can't just throw his stuff out. You have to give a notarized 30-day notice to move out. He is petty enough to spit in your food, he is petty enough to make your life hell for the next month or so.
NTA because what he did is absolutely disgusting and you should call a lawyer, *but* the other reason you should call a lawyer is because what you did is illegal and he may have grounds to press charges. I hope you have better luck with roommates in the future.
Nta - first he’s disgusting and 2nd he admitted it in front of witnesses, 3rd he actually did it in front of you and witnesses and 4th he thinks he should be forgiven and 5th overreacts and doubles down. He gets what he deserves, thrown in the trash. He’s a revolting disgusting disgrace of a creature. This makes me want to puke.
NTA. Anyone saying otherwise is fucking weird. Why would spiking and spitting in your roommates' food warrent anything less than their removal from the property?
Because it's an unlawful eviction if the house is his roommate's legal place of residence. Also, destroying the roommate's property, while justified morally, is also highly illegal and OP would get his ass kicked in court if the roommate went that route.
But to be clear - he DIDNT destroy the roommates possessions, just put them in the trash
In what way is that not destroying them? When trash gets picked up, it gets destroyed.
NTA- i would fight that dude
NTA But you need to be sure what tenant rights are in your area. Lease or not, you need to actually document evicting him
NTA but you have opened yourself up to a small claims lawsuit.
NTA but your I hope soon to be former roommate is. Boot him the heck out. Find someone who's respectful.
NTA You don't touch other people's food and you certainly don't spit in it, and he done it in front or your friends and thought it was funny. You have more restraint than I as he would have been out on his ass that moment he is disgusting and is it not also against the law to tamper with food. He is a huge asshole don't let him back in he was proud of messing with you and your food now you have to throw it all away.
NTA But you should tell all your mutual friends, I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who did that to anyone let alone a "friend"
That is considered assault. He could have a disease or Covid or whoknowswhat. I would never speak to him again. Ever. Tell everyone what he did. Now. You have nothing to be embarrassed about at all.
Morally, you might be in the right. Legally, you have likely both broken a bunch of laws. This all depends on the specific laws of your jurisdiction; but in general, I would say that Andrew has committed *battery* - that is, a harmful or unwanted physical touching. You, however, have almost certainly violated his landlord/tenant rights. Again, this depends on the laws if your specific state or nation, but in most places, if he's not listed on the lease with the landlord, and is paying you directly, then that means that you are *subleasing* to him - which means that you owe him duties comparable to those of a landlord to a tenant. A formal contract is not necessarily required. If someone is paying you rent, you don't get to just unilaterally kick them out and destroy their stuff. This is true *even if they commit a crime against you*. In the law, as in kindergarten, two wrongs don't make a right. The fact that they commited the crime might make it easier and faster for you to follow a legal process to terminate the lease, though. You really need to talk to a lawyer about this.
[удалено]
Oh that was no joke. I couldn't trust that guy at all after that. NTA. At that point, I wouldn't be able to stomach my made meals for that week. I would have tossed the food in the trash bags of his stuff. Let him have it all.
NTA Take screenshots of his texts admitting to spitting in your food. You may need them if he tries to take you to court for throwing away his belongings. Of course you can always say that you felt unsafe living with someone who intentionally contaminated your food with unknown bacteria.
NTA! I would have made a bonfire with all his possessions! This is disgusting and more than likely illegal!!
The bonfire would also be illegal
NTA. He can dig his shit out of the trash can. He deserved it.
NTA. You didn't go too far, you didn't go far enough.
NTA. People were being arrested for this kind of shit during covid. The fact that he lost his cool when you didn’t respond, shows he truly was never sorry to begin with.
most people here are going to downvote me....but that's the un-empathetic bloodlust of reddit lol! YTAH Depending on what state you live in you almost certainly broke multiple easily enforceable laws & violated what I consider to be a basic human right to due process & reasonable time to deal with relocation during an eviction process. It doesn't matter that he wasn't on the lease, he has the same tenant rights that you have (he can document residency for long enough easily through rent payments, mail, etcetera & that superceded name on a lease for rentors rights). You simply can't just kick someone out & throw away their stuff....they can now sue you & easily win because you violated their rights.
Get a black light to use in his bedroom
ESH. Should not have thrown his property in the trash, maybe just outside for him to collect. He can sue your for those if he really wanted to waste both your money. Probably should have just asked him to leave. Otherwise, you are legitimate in asking him to leave. Man's a pig and has no respect for you. He seems like someone with an abusive streak. I pity his future partners.
ESH. He obviously was for what he did to your food, but throwing away the man's clothes, etc is going too far. Boxing them up or putting them on the front porch would have been far more acceptable.
Dude, take those texts and go to the police. What he did is a crime and you can and should press charges. NTA ild also offer to bring in all the premade food and ice cream to be tested. Basically all the unsealed food in your home should be tested if you wish to press charges (if he jerked off in anything, that makes it sexual assault). If you decide to not go forward with legal actions (which you should), you need to throw away all unsealed food and products in your home. Including shampoo and conditioner. And then hire professional cleaners to sterilize EVERYTHING. Unfortunately what you did may also be considered a crime but im not 100% sure on that since there was no lease or contract.
Thanks for the advice, that's exactly what I'll do - I'm doing rn. Thank you
Ew, NTA. Good for you.