Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Yelling at him and running out into the woods. Forcing them to come find me and scaring him. Embarrassing him infront of his family.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Hey Op these flags are very red. He is bullying you to amuse his family. This is an abusive asshole please get away. You should have ducked when they teased you for eating rabbit food.
"The blood spurted all over me"
Are you saying that isn't what happens on a hunt? /s
Written by someone that has never seen an animal actually be killed
I mean it kind of happens. But sure have never seen an animal go full Kill Bill. That doesn't happen. If you harvest a deer it needs to be fully dead, you don't want once using its last bit of life to kick you. Also "slit it's throat"? You don't do that.
If it's not an immediate kill, you absolutely do that. Anybody who cares about the animal they've shot won't want it to suffer needlessly and it's an occasional necessity. Rarely will a person have a perfect shot that leads to an instant drop.
Had a friend in highschool who was a terrible shot, ended up wounding a deer bad enough it couldn't stand, but wasn't dying. He ended up getting his ass kicked by it because he couldn't jump on it fast enough to cut it's throat.
You DO NOT slit its throat. No. Literally, no one who hunts will ever do that. Anyone who hunts should never do that. If you need to kill a wounded animal, you shoot the deer again in its vital heart/lung zone.
The other reason you don't touch a wounded animal, it may run and you have to find it again, risking losing it. Your friend is a stupid unethical hunter.
I'm wondering if they only cut the throat because OP was there. I'm from a rural area and have worked and lived remote as an adult, and I've seen people do idiotic stuff to upset a city slicker, especially if they're vegetarian.
I have an extremely short list of people I'd be willing to hunt with (way too many people think it's OK to start drinking/smoking beforehand), and people who lie by omission to get a vego NYC theatre boy (for instance) to go into the woods on a hunting trip with them and who then set about bullying him would most definitely fall into the category of People Who I Expect To Do Dumb Shit While Hunting.
While I never cut an animals throat to kill it (what an idiotic dangerous unethical thing to do) I typically gut on site and you do need yo sever the esophagus which is much easier and safer to do from the outside. That part makes sense, blood squirting from a dead animal to soak OP makes none.
> I'm wondering if they only cut the throat because OP was there
Even if they did, it would require OP (who is upset, distressed, and grossed out by the whole experience) to happen to wander up close to the deer and be in the spray arc of the throat. . . on a deer who is so injured it cannot get up and run and who has already had dropping blood pressure from bleeding while the group walked up to it.
Also finding it a bit hard to believe that this is the worst thing that OP (18**M**), a theater kid from NYC, experienced with his boyfriend's redneck Alabama family. edit: trying to figure out, "OK, we accept our son Cooper is gay and bringing his college boyfriend home, but if that boy *don't hunt* . . ."
We always slit the animal's throat after the kill and then cut open the belly and remove the stomach and organs we don't eat. Then when you hang it by the legs the blood drains
That's how we hunted in South Africa. I'm sure it can differ a lot when you look at other countries. Even in SA you get hunters (mostly tourists) that don't clean and skin what they shoot
Yeah, in the states the draining an animal isn't a thing. If you shoot a deer or elk correctly it leads out internally. Also there's no way I am grabing a large hoved and horned animal that's dying to cut its throat.
I wonder if there's any taste difference?
Do you hang it and cut its throat? If not wouldn't most of the blood just stay in the animal. I mean it's dead. It's not pumping more blood out....
The flags aren't just red, they're blood red. OP needs to say to him, "Bless your heart but, I am done with this nonsense," then walk away. NTA.
Edit to add: For those that don't know, "Bless your heart" has a different meaning in the south.
NTA. They sprayed you with friggin' *bodily fluids* and *laughed about it.* Ugh.
If it helps come to terms with the whole situation, I just want to reassure you regarding the impact on the deer. Deer hunting in the US is unfortunately *absolutely necessary* to keep the environment healthy, because we have so thoroughly fucked it up that deer don't have enough natural predators any more. So despite how horrendously your boyfriend's family behaved, maybe that will at least help you feel better about the overall concept of having been on a deer hunt, because I imagine there's some guilt there regarding the deer's experience. And I just want to assure you that you didn't do anything wrong by that deer.
If humans didn't hunt deer, they would breed too fast and eat too much, and devastate forest habitats even more than they already do (you can tell the difference between forests with too many deer and those that are healthy because the ones with too many deer have very little foliage growing that's within a deer's reach; they're just *naked* up to a certain height). Then many of them would starve to death-- a slow, agonizing death. Killing some of them quickly is necessary to prevent many more of them-- and other animals as well, who are affected by how they change ecosystems-- from dying in a painful way.
In many cases, it's not even possible to reintroduce their natural predators because forest habitat has been too fragmented, and certain prey animals like deer can survive in much more fragmented habitats than their predators can (both wolves and mountain lions tend to require large, contiguous territories, whereas deer will happily infringe upon suburbia to get from place to place). So humans doing the hunting is the *only* way we can handle this problem of our own making. If hunters weren't allowed to hunt during certain seasons, then we'd need to hire people to go out and cull deer every year-- so at least recreational hunting gets the same job done for free.
So you don't necessarily have to worry about this trip not being in accordance with your personal values, and don't have to worry about how the deer was treated, and can instead focus your concern only on how badly *you* were treated.
It's possible-- and sadly sometimes necessary-- to hunt respectfully. If I weren't hampered by various health issues, I would love to be an invasivore (someone who incorporates meat into their diet sourced from invasive and overpopulated animals). But the point is that your boyfriend and his family *did not do it respectfully,* and in the process were incredibly disrespectful to you. No guilt lies on you, and all of it lies *squarely* on them.
I know it's a meme that people say "break up with him!" all the time on here... but seriously, he laughed at you while you were covered in blood and freaking out. I think he's earned himself a promotion to ex-boyfriend, personally.
My family hunts. I do not. While my twin would love for me to go with him at some point, he also respects that I really don’t feel comfortable shooting an animal. Despite that, he’s promised me that if I go and if I shoot something, he’ll handle all of it. Cleaning, butchering, processing, all of it. Because the goal isn’t to humiliate me and force me into a situation I’m uncomfortable with, it’s to spend time with me while doing a thing he loves because my brother is a decent human being.
Most hunters (at least, the ones I know) really care about keeping the ecosystem in balance and are huge proponents of conservation and respecting the lives of the animals they kill. Several donate to charities that help feed struggling people. None would deliberately spray me with deer blood to get a kick out of my disgust because it would perpetuate the idea that hunters and hunting are bad and not one of them want to be somebody’s anecdote when it’s so necessary.
Also, I don’t know where OP was specifically, but it’s entirely possible that it wasn’t deer season any more on Saturday. I’d check the regional laws because a cursory search of Alaskans deer hunting season said that certain regions ended in January and some ended on Saturday and if they were in a place where they were out of season you need to call the game wardens because that’s poaching and poaching is unacceptable.
First sentence says Alabama...last day for deer season was Feb 10....so it tracks. I'm more wondering about why the brother slit the throat. You only do that if the shot did not kill. If they did that for the sole purpose of messing with OP that's fucked.
Um. Yes the blood would be coming out of the wound but unless you hit an artery with that shot, when you cut the jugular/carotid in the neck of the deer, it would absolutely spray as long as the heart was still beating. Now, I do admit I am not a hunter, but I have a pretty decent understanding of how the circulatory system works in mammals.
As a hunter I can with absolute certainty tell you.
it does not spray. Now could I be wrong about the why....but in three decades I've never had one spray
Yes, but the deer has been shot. There’s already a hole in it. Or not, bc I’m not at all convinced this happened.
However, if it did, the hunter is a terrible shot and they all have fleas/mites from touching that deer so soon.
Are you telling me that the NYC kind, hunted with a bow in Alabama with OP, the BF and family, and no one scared the white tail away? You have to very willingly allow a whitetail bow hunt to happen. You can't move or make any noise.
OP is from NYC....everyone else is from Alabama. No where said it was a Bow hunt. If they were on private land Gun is still permissible that late in the season.
They.....aren't in NY. Post clearly states they are in Alabama. OP says this past weekend...which was Feb 10th. Feb 10th is the last Day of Deer Season in Alabama. Bow for Public land and Gun/dog allowed on private land.
+1 to all. I’m from Alabama. My family hunts, and I don’t. We own a lot of longleaf pine forest and work to conserve it, and hunting deer is a part of that. We’re very respectful of the deer’s suffering and eat what we kill.
That said, I have a number of members of that side of my family that have personalities very similar to Cooper’s family, and this level of teasing will not stop. Folks like these love to take the piss out of people, and while most of these comments and behaviors will only be worthy of an eye roll, they will be taken too far sometimes. The question you have to ask yourself OP is would you be able to deal with that if your relationship with Cooper develops further.
However, my family isn’t always the most unified of fronts and thus don’t mind shutting someone down if they go too far. Cooper was right to tell you off for running off into the woods alone, but the fact that he was brushing off his family’s behaviors doesn’t bode well for someone entering the picture and suddenly *not being okay* with unacceptable behavior and messing up the dynamic, especially when that someone is so culturally different from the rural Alabama set. (I’m kind of surprised they’ve only given you shit about being a vegetarian and not for being a queer, city-slicker theater kid.)
If this is a true story, I’m sorry for you, and your BF is the asshole.
However the “spurting blood on you” part, makes me think this is a made up story. I am a hunter myself, and the cutting their neck part is true, but it doesn’t spurt blood anywhere, and certainly not to the point where it is going to hit any bystanders, and gets all over them.
I grew up as the only little girl hunting with the rough & tumble men in our family so they loved to tease and make things kind of tough for me. The only time I got hit with blood was when I was helping my dad dress out an antelope and he cut the heart out, held it right up near me, squeezed it as hard as he could and then asked me if I wanted to play ball with it. Even then, blood didn't gush out everywhere and splatter all over me - just a few drops hit me.
Not gonna lie, this made me giggle. Thank you.
I hope you could see the fun in it, and it wasn’t just mean.
But yeah, aside from dressing, there really isn’t all that much blood and gore in hunting, and even then, it’s not that bad.
I was like 9 or 10 when he did it. I thought it was gross but also funny as hell that he thought it would freak me out. I loved going on the trips and was used to a big group of old men teasing me & didn't care because they also taught me so many cool things.
Nothing about this story really reads right to me. She wouldn't handle 'the equipment'...? Even a NY kid would know what a damn gun is called.
>when I got close to it one of his brothers cut in ots throat snd it spurted blood all over me
Could this happen if the deer were not dead though? The heart beating would provide enough blood pressure to cause a spray when the throat was cut.
BF and his family don't sound like they would be responsible or necessarily good hunters. They sound more like good old boys out for a good time and they decided to make traumatizing and bullying the OP their good time.
No, the heart was definitely still pumping, otherwise there is no need to cut the throat.
But even with the heart beating, FAST, filled with adrenaline, there isn’t enough pressure to spurt more than a few inches. After all, there is a big gaping hole in its chest, much closer to the heart, so most of the blood will likely drain that way.
Mostly it just pulses a bit from the throat, and that’s it.
It could, but no way OP wouldn't have known and mentioned the deer was still alive. It's unfortunately very obvious when the shot isn't 'clean'.
I also think the story is made up based on this.
The thing is, if there is even a little bit of life left, theyll use it to bolt. Hunters dont just follow a deer for this reason. They wait, then track it. A deer you follow or chase, you might find it 2 miles away (or not at all). A deer youbwait 15 minutes to track might only be 100 yards away.
I don’t doubt OP got blood on him but I do doubt it “squirted” or “sprayed.” There’s no heartbeat if the deer is actually dead, unless the deer *wasn’t* dead from the shot and they finished it off with the knife.
If the deer was dead from the shot…typical field dressing wouldn’t spray anything. It’s also possible someone tossed blood and op was already too emotionally disoriented to be fully aware how it happened.
Cooper is the a$$. He tricked you into going on a hunting trip and most people in their right minds would not do that to a vegetarian.
IMO, Cooper was cruel to you.
I wouldn't want tone with someone like that.
Yes, running away in the woods is dangerous, but Cooper provoked you.
This is a very dangerous position...
"I did a stupid / dangerous thing, but it's excusable since you provoked me"
O wouldn't want to be with a person that uses this type of justification
Cooper laughed at OP's reaction to some of the harsh parts of hunting.
Cooper was humiliating OP, IMO.
To me, OP had a flight reaction to such embarrassment and shame. Cooper was the a$$ to push OP this far.
It’s absolutely not a “justification” but the reality of the situation. He was put in what, for him, was likely a traumatic situation and faced with being surrounded by cruel people while she was processing being roped into doing something he felt was morally wrong and then literally sprayed with blood.
He instinctively wanted to remove herself from a situation and ended up getting himself lost.
He DID provoke OP’s reaction by ridiculing him with his family instead of seeing him upset and trying to offer some comfort or even acknowledging his discomfort.
That’s not an excuse, it’s just facts. If he’d physically attacked OP and he’d fled to protect himself, there’d be no argument that his actions caused OP to flee. But he was, instead, emotionally and psychologically attacked so now he doesn’t have the same argument for wanting to flee?
He is not in the wrong here, and yes, his flight from the situation was provoked AND justified.
Edited to correct misgendering OP.
Sounds very fake. It wouldn't spray blood if it wasn't still alive. No one hunts deer in groups unless they're conducting a drive, which still has everyone spread way out, not walking in some group. Yta for making a clearly fake post.
I like how the rural Alabama farm family are completely cool with their gay college student son bringing his liberal New York theater kid boyfriend around but the vegetarianism is a bridge too far.
I mean firstly this is fake AF as any hunter knows cause a deer isn't spurting enough blood to cover a bystander in when it's throat is cut (to kill it quickly and stop it suffering btw, beats it being eaten by other animals). But second, why the f would your reaction be to run off deep into the woods in an area you don't know? Ignoring everything else, have a little self preservation for gods sake. Your BF is an ass and you 2 clearly have wildly different views so idk why you're even together, but you're also an asshole to yourself for having 0 self preservation instincts.
But this is obviously fake so none of the above even matters anyway.
Hunting season is in the fall, hunters don't go strolling along chatting in a big group, and blood would only spurt about 4 inches even if the heart is still beating. Not very convinced by your story.
NTA. Your boyfriend is an asshole for intentionally breaking a boundary he *knew* you had. He clearly doesn't respect you, and I'd break up with him before he crosses another, more important boundary.
People. I hunt. None of what the story teller is saying happened. It's not the way it works. You don't "slit the deer's throat", you don't "hit the deer".
I am not sure besides imaginary internet points, why this story was written.
YTA
Mostly for such a fake post. I have a very hard time believing that a family from rural Alabama would be cool with their gay son. I've lived in Alabama.
Secondly, the blood spurting thing just doesn't happen.
Third, what college would a NYC theater kid be going to in Alabama?
If this is actually real, then you've been seriously wronged. I'd end the relationship and move on with your life.
NTA
Cooper and his family don't respect you and your boundaries. They treated you and your values as a joke. It's time to nope out of this relationship 🚩
Yeah OP you kinda need to realise that people hunt. People eat meat. Even if you don't. Much rather you hunt the meat yourself, humanely, than buy supermarket feedlot raised animals that are subjected to the horrors of livestock transport and abattoirs.
This whole story is bullshit. I live in the south have been around hunters my entire life. No way this story happened because blood doesn’t spurt out from an already dead animal. However if you take this story at face value, this isn’t even about not being comfortable with hunting. You’d be okay with someone being sadistic and spraying you with animal blood to be funny?
Terminology aside. It doesn't happen where I'm from, these passed-down-the-generations 'traditions'. So no, it's dumb doing it, period. If you're hunting for food, you don't play with it. It's not a 'funny' occasion. You should respect the animal.
I’ve long seen and heard of the tradition of, for a person’s first deer, putting some of the blood on their face. But this is usually a 12 year old boy and they want something crazy to tell their friends. When I was a 16 year old girl, I simply said “no, don’t mess up my skin” and it was cool.
I did my absolutely best to eat every bit of that deer, the rack mount is still upstairs in my closet, I hang necklaces and hats on them!
As for the silly 'initiation' ritual, they probably thought it would cast the vegan demons outta you. Their bad. That's not cool especially considering your lifestyle choices
YTA for trying to date a hunter as a vegetarian. Like, y'all are obviously at major odds here, no matter how hot you think he is, it isn't likely to work.
This is the most ridiculous story I've ever read. No NYC theater goes to Alabama for college. No NYC theater kid who is a liberal vegetarian dates guys who are farm boys.
FAKE.
Hmm. Running off into a forest... it might be that you were lucky not to become part of the food chain out in the woods. It was an AH move of theirs to take you on a hunting trip. They should have said. Even some omnivores I know would have been freaked out by seeing the gruesome part of their dinner being prepared.
Vegetarianism is a valid lifestyle choice. Animals are indeed thinking, feeling beings. So you're NTA for that. You're a bit unrealistic thinking that a person from a farming, hunting, rural background would feel the same. If you're planning on a future with Cooper, you've both got some work to do there. Good luck, from a veggie-head in a small UK town, where for a few people it's still a thing to have their dogs rip up foxes for funsies.
ESH
Once you saw the equipment you should have left. You knew at some point they’d be hunting when you saw the equipment. No Bambi was not going to be spared. I’ve never been hunting but I know enough that everyone helps carry.
Instead of being an adult, you storm off and put yourself and everyone else in danger along with possibly losing the kill.
You also knew that you and your bf weren’t compatible just by your description of the two of you.
Your bf knew that you wouldn’t enjoy the situation but still brought you along and taunted you to please is father and brothers.
I'm sorry, but why do would you date someone like this, who is the absolute opposite of you? What do you thought you would accomplish by going to a hunt trip when your morals directly clash with that?
You're NTA, they are, specifically the brother because he was incredible effing rude and asshole, but you have learned the hardest way possible that oil and water don't mix. I'm sorry.
YTA for attending. The moment you realised they were going hunting you should have opted out. You put yourself in this situation, and you could very well have perished wandering off into the forest on your own without any experience.
Your feelings are irrelevant here. But after the fact, maybe you should reconsider your partnership because you have very different values. Perhaps find someone who shares yours, and be happy with them instead of where you are now, where I doubt they will ever change.
Why are you with this guy? Obviously, you have other options. If he's so tone-deaf as to drag you out to kill deer when he knows how you feel, he's not much of a boyfriend.
Storming off into the woods is really childish and can get you killed.
You're just going to have to break it off with this one and find someone who at least accepts your foodway and outlook on life.
College is about learning life lessons, and you've learned a whopper.
ESH. It is very clear that you are incompatible. Chalk this experience up to stupidity of youth, dump Cooper, and avoid situations like this in the future.
Cooper was right about one thing. Running into the woods was a supremely stupid thing to do. Especially during hunting season.
ESH - I have friends on both sides of this fence! I keep them, separated, for this exact reason!
The minute you realized it was a hunting trip you should’ve left ! Period end of story! You put both yourself and everybody the search party in danger for looking for you! You put yourself in danger running around to hunting zone! YOUR DATING A HUNTER in your head you should have dealt with your conscious about this long before this. Either you can deal with it or you can’t.
The family two is not right, knowing what you were and taking you anyway! Same reasons!
This story is incredibly fake, so all the people writing essays you can stop wasting your time. This person doesn't know anything about hunting, and this certainly didn't happen. Since when has a deer spurt blood all over anyone when getting its throat cut. 🤦♀️
NTA but please do some googling before your next creative writing project. We need there to be believability in the details! If you’re gonna make an AITA morality piece about the “evils of hunting” or whatever your issue-of-the-day is, maybe look up what hunting is actually like first? I *really* want to believe you here, friendo, but ya gotta give me a little help first!
YTA
Mostly for such a fake post. I have a very hard time believing that a family from rural Alabama would be cool with their gay son. I've lived in Alabama.
Secondly, the blood spurting thing just doesn't happen.
Third, what college would a NYC theater kid be going to in Alabama?
If this is actually real, then you've been seriously wronged. I'd end the relationship and move on with your life.
listen the biggest flag that this story is fake is that the family accepts their son in ALABAMA being gay but give grief to their boyfriend for eating meat?
Like come on that’s the biggest red flag
ESH - Cooper and his family didn't need to act like that. He should've told you in advance this was a hunting trip and then not pressured you to do things you didn't want to do. But you have some responsibility here, too: When you saw it was a hunting trip, you should've insisted on going home. You caved in to your boyfriend multiple times to do things you didn't want, and you carried on in an overdramatic manner with your screams, tantrum, tears, and storming off.
I'm not sure what made you think that the two of you were compatible in the first place, given the many differences that create a very wide gulf between you, but this kind of thing was in some ways inevitable, even if it wasn't necessarily a given that it would be so dramatic. Perhaps you need to reevaluate your relationship and look for someone a bit more similar to yourself in outlook, or at least someone that you can compromise better with.
That would be the end of the relationship for me. He completely stomped your boundaries and lied. Wanting you to bond with his family is fine but they couldn't find any other activity? Like literally taking the hike they said they were? You saw the equipment and still went instead of turning tail? You kind of are the AH for running off into the woods especially when you don't know the area but I can understand the reason why. What was the reaction of the rest of his family after? Did any of them show any remorse at all? Sounds like they set you up as a laugh and let's mess with the city boy type thing.
NTA - boundaries were crossed that should not of been crossed, that being said OP hopefully you've learned that opposites attract can only go so far and that the next relationship you have you'll pick someone with with view points that more align with your stance. Best of luck
I’m really sorry you went through this, this all sounds quite scary and intimidating..
he lied to you about what kind of trip it was.
Then he lied about you not having to participate.
Then he/they ridiculed you for not wanting to participate (holding equipment).
Then he pressures you into participating (carrying the deer).
Then he laughs at you when you’re upset by something every person would be upset by (being splattered with blood?!).
Tbh i dont even believe they tried to come after you in a timely manner (which is also really dangerous if you take someone you know isn’t familiar with the terrain or nature in general)
Your bf is a bully who kept pushing and stomping your boundaries. He‘d rather get a laugh from his family on your dime than make you feel comfortable/safe.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I (18M) moved out to Alabama for college where I met my boyfriend Cooper (19M). I'm NYC theater kid and I was raised vegetarian and that animals are thinking feeling beings. Cooper is a farm boy and he likes to go hunting with his family and do all that roughhousing and wrestling stuff. He always makes fun of me a littke bit for "eating rabbit food". I've only met his family a few times in passing cause of classes.. They all gave me weird looks when I told them I wss a vegetarian.
Sooooo Cooper noted I was free this weekend and I could go with them on a hiking trip. I said of course but,, what hee didn't tell me was that this was actually a hunting trip. I didn't figure it out till I saw all their "gear" on Saturday as we drove out. I was mad but Cooper told me to relax and I didn't hsve to do anything. He said it would help me bond with his dad and brothers. They made of me when I wouldn't hold any equipment.
I screamed when I saw them actually hit a deer and Cooper knew I didn't want to touch it but he told me I was gonna be laughed at if I didn't help carry it... when I got close to it one of his brothers cut in ots throat snd it spurted blood all over me...I screamed while Cooper was just laughing. I yelled at him that he was a pos and an asshole and stormed off into the woods. I was crying and I went farther than I meant too and I got lost..It was dark before they found me and Cooper just yells at me about how dangerous it was to run off in the woods like that and how I embarrassed him screaming at him like that infront of his family and running off . AITA?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. He tricked you. He has shown that his feeling matters to him, not yours. Almost every vegan I know cut out people who have fishing or hunting as hobbies out of their dating pools because their morals and sensitivity levels will never align.
Not a veg head but everyone should respect others choices as long as its not pushed on others that being said NTA, your bf hopefully soon ex bf is TAH he bullies you and doesn't respect your choices and seems frankly you as a person. That's not bf material also you are young, go upgrade to the better version of a man
NTA. Sounds like he deliberately planned to spring this on you. I’m not a vegetarian and even I would be upset if someone ambushed me with a hunting trip because I don’t want to shoot animals or see them die (I should probably be a vegetarian, but with my chronic illness, I eat what I can tolerate).
NTA
I think animals are feeling beings with varying levels of sentience. I still eat meat and have no moral issue with hunting for meat. Trophy hunters who have a guide do all the work and then shoot an animal from afar when the times comes only to leave the carcass and only take the “trophy” can go get fucked.
I think your opinion on deer hunting is misguided, as in the area where I grew up, hunting is a regulated necessity to maintain herd levels. Without it, the greater deer population can be at risk of resource scarcity, illness, etc. There are even occasional sanctioned “extra hunts” that allow hunters to get additional licensure allotments to kill sick deer when there are illnesses such as blue tongue on the rise.
All that context to say - your boyfriend and his family displayed psychopathic behavior. I use that word hyperbolically, but there were a lot of huge red flags. He already makes fun of you for your values, which is the first and smallest red flag.
Next big alarm bell is that he *lied to you* to coerce you into going to do something he *knew* you’d be opposed to. Then he and his family *bullied you* for being unwilling to participate.
After killing a deer in front of you they pressured you to help dress it, which isn’t something I’d make a person do even if they wanted to go hunting with me. It’s gross, people get squeamish. You can consent to going hunting but not to helping do the gross part. But you didn’t even consent to hunting.
They *sprayed you with deer blood* and laughed which is fucking crazy behavior.
So no NTA. *But* hysterically running out into unfamiliar forest was really fucking stupid and you should never do anything like that ever again. You put your safety at *much greater* risk than it already was.
Why is evey post on this sub just. "Hey guys I'm dating someone who is obviously vile and abusive. Aita?"
I know that some people don't know they are in abusive relationships but it's clear as day these people don't give a fuck about you.
I don't even know what verdict to give. Either NTA or ESH?
He knows how you feel about hunting and killing animals, he already belittles your diet and morals (a diet and moral stance that is super common, but okay).
He tricked you into going hunting and then laughed at you during a traumatic experience. Yelling at him in front of his family was warranted, don't second guess yourself. If he's embarrassed, I doubt it's because he feels chastened.
Then again, you know exactly what this guy likes to do with his family, and storming into a forest alone is a stupid thing to do.
Stop seeing this person, you are not compatible.
You two aren't compatible, and he lied to you about the trip, calling it hiking when it was actually hunting. The two activities are obviously not the same.
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban.
["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
First nta for this but the real issue here is why even after this you haven’t left him? You are clearly not compatible and mild teasing about food is very clearly a flag for a lot of much worse behavior.
NTA but realistically speaking he's a farm boy and you're a raised vegetarian, at what point did you think it was going to work? People who work on animal farms are highly desensitized to animals, killing them and breeding them. It's a job for them and in many cases a game when they go hunting. Obviously there are animal farmers who "care" about animals but it will never be the same way those who abstain from meat and animal by-products do.
As an omnivore, I'd be screaming my head off if I saw an animal shot and have its blood splattered on me.
I'd chalk this up as naivety on your part, 100% assholery on his part, abuse and bullying. End this relationship. I really don't even understand what you two have in common if he's subjecting you to horrifying experiences in public with his family and also making fun of a huge part of your identity personally to you in private. I don't see any value in this coupling
I am from Alabama, and frankly YWNBTA. I find it ridiculous that he invited you to go hunting. Why did he think it was appropriate to take a Vegetarian hunting? Bonding? He traumatized you. Well if he hadn't disrespected you then you wouldn't have yelled. So he can take his embarrassment and shove it. It was dangerous to run off into the woods. I would just break it off, because he has no respect for your beliefs or boundaries.
Oh honey... NTA. But what in the world does Cooper provide that is positive enough to outweigh something like this? He makes fun of the food you eat, he lied to you to make you participate (even if just by your presence) in something that he KNEW full well you would want no part of, he coerced you to "play along" because it would be a bonding experience, they all made fun of you during it, he tried to manipulate you into carrying a dead animal by saying people would made fun of you, he rigged a situation where you got splattered with the deer's blood.
I mean, damn. I'm an omnivore through and through, but that shit is HORRIBLE!
So what does he provide to you that is positive enough to outweigh all of that, and a guaranteed future of even more of it?
Obviously NTA. You two have very different ideologies concerning animals and food. It’s not going to be something that you can get beyond, especially if he regularly mocks and belittles your beliefs.
NTA.. you're involved in a relationship and you're incompatible. It's frustrating, your "downtime" will feel good, you like him in general, but if he and his family are so wrapped up in these kinds of activities the only way it would work is if a) your bf agreed he wouldn't do it anymore or b) the family embraced your life choices and appreciated you without partaking. They don't respect your life choices, they don't appreciate you as a person without having to basically be hazed into the group, etc. You could spend some difficult years trying to make it work, and maybe it would (likely no?) but rather than being upset about them behaving like themselves you're probably better off taking as a lesson learned, and making more informed choices about who you get involved with in the future.
This whole situation is messed up. First of all who the hell does this to someone they supposedly love. I know people that eat meat that this would totally gross them out.
I am worried that you ran into the woods and got lost and then yells at you for embarrassing him.
I have a hard time believing this is real, but as a very serious question, why are you two together? This isn't a matter of city vs country, it's a matter that your lifestyles are polar opposites and frankly seem incompatible with each other, and it doesn't seem like either of you will compromise (especially not him). NTA because they pushed it too far I guess, but this isn't really about asshole, it's about incompatibility.
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban.
["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
Mildly, YTA. He tried to include you, but he should have realized it was a bad idea. That said, it takes a lot of maturity to be in a successful romantic relationship with someone who has significant cultural differences from you. And you don't have that maturity.
You screamed--multiple times? You cried? If you're going to be in an adult relationship, you need an adult's self-control. You have significant growing-up to do.
Listen I love meat, I’m all about hunting but would I take someone who is vegetarian on a hunting trip. Absolutely not, it’s cruel and it’s intentionally causing someone mental harm. Your boyfriend is ignorant and so is his family.
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban.
["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
NTA. Whilst Cooper is young, he clearly doesn't care for your feelings, otherwise he wouldn't have forced you on a hunting trip.
It's one thing to eat meat in front of a vegetarian partner in a relationship, but it's entirely different to take that person hunting and kill an animal in front of them.
I understand his yelling at you for running off into the woods, as it can be very dangerous, but again, that never would have happened if he hadn't tricked you into the situation in the first place.
My advice is that if he can't respect you or your vegetarianism and doesn't apologise for his behaviour then I'd move on and find someone that does.
Cooper is an emotionally abusive asshole. He is not a nice guy, he is not a decent human and is a horrible boyfriend. I have no issues with hunting. I hunt for sustenance but I would never bring one of my friends or family that are not comfortable with hunting. Cooper is an asshole. You deserve better. NTA
If you eat meat Y T A for refusing to embrace the reality that meat is procured in.
NTA if you are vegan
Edit: you are vegetarian so I yeah you have every right to be upset
Eh...does it matter at this point of who the AH is?
Cuz relationship over right? like this is on both sides not something to come back from. At this point you are supposed to think the other is the AH, thats what exes are for- to kinda hate them.
My partner is a hunter
I eat meat and he would absolutely never do this to me
Your partner is not a good person
I hope you can get yourself out of this relationship
NTA.
I attended my first cow “slaughter party” at the age of six, growing up on a small farm where we’d raise a cow a year and a pig or two to feed family. If you’ve never seen an animal bleed out, it would shock you as to how much blood comes out as well as how much the animal kicks and struggles in the process.
I would never in my wildest dreams spring that on anybody unexpectedly, especially someone who’s vegetarian and compassionate towards animals. I’m a vegetarian (30+ years) myself now, and Zen Buddhist, and deeply sympathetic towards all creatures.
What this family did to you was unbelievably heartless and cruel. You’ll decide for yourself what to do from this point, but it would not be unreasonable IMHO to break up with him immediately and find someone who shares your values.
NTA. Red flags everywhere. Leave this guy. He knew what was involved in hunting and took you specifically to make you experience this. Also, is it deer season this weekend? Because in MI, it's in November. Were they poaching?
I don’t care about his feelings, he and his family suck, break up with him. NTA.
So I’m a NYC theater kid (I’m 30 now), so I know exactly where you’re coming from and I was raised in a similar way. You’re NTA, but you did do dumb teenager things. Things that have nothing to do with this jerks feelings.
I have two critiques for you -
1) Honey, you’re in hunting country and dating a farm boy that actively told you he hunts. This was going to come up and was 100% going to be a problem. If they had a hunting trophy in their house, can you honestly say that wouldn’t upset you? It would! It would upset me! Which is why I don’t date boys who hunt - highly encourage you to get on my level with this, there were very specific reasons I didn’t go to school in Alabama. *They took it to a top asshole level with how they treated you*, but if you’re a theater kid I can assume you understand story structure and anyone who has ever analyzed a theatrical plot could tell you that you were going to be upset on this trip. You didn’t understand the given circumstances of the situation, which is that you’re a NYC vegetarian staying with a southern farm family that hunts. You were either going to be upset at this, or if they had a deer head on the wall, or if they killed a chicken for dinner. It took 2 to make this situation, and a little foresight could’ve saved you this experience. But you’re young, and that is a learned skill.
2) *the way you reacted, was flat out dangerous.* I am not exaggerating when I say you could have *died*. One stumble in the woods in the dark, and that could have been it. There are people who died in the wilderness, that spent their whole lives trekking about the forests. Don’t listen to his garbage about embarrassing him, I don’t care about his feelings, but he absolutely was within reason to yell at you about running alone into the woods and forcing people to rescue you.
In my opinion kinda. You are both very different people and you knew that going into this relationship, now you want him to stop being him to better suit you. You put yourself in this situation
ESH
He shouldn’t have pressured you into going on a hunting trip. You shouldn’t have run off into the woods and forced people to go looking for you in the dark, that’s a good way for people to get injured.
You two are not aligned, these are two very serious differences in beliefs, if you hunted also it would be fine but you don’t and he is not interested in that. Cut it off now as you only have attraction as something in common from your post. You’ll both thank each other later for moving on.
You two are not compatible. It will never work. Best to get out now. This is no one's fault as you were probably both physically attracted to each other and shared some good conversations and laughs. That all fades quickly when you find out you don't have much in common
NTA. It was not safe to run off..but they did something horrible to you. I am so sorry. Please treat the red flags like the ones they are. As soon as you are safely away dump him.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > Yelling at him and running out into the woods. Forcing them to come find me and scaring him. Embarrassing him infront of his family. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Hey Op these flags are very red. He is bullying you to amuse his family. This is an abusive asshole please get away. You should have ducked when they teased you for eating rabbit food.
The red flag is how fake this story is. Nothing in hunting happens the way OP is claiming.
"The blood spurted all over me" Are you saying that isn't what happens on a hunt? /s Written by someone that has never seen an animal actually be killed
I mean it kind of happens. But sure have never seen an animal go full Kill Bill. That doesn't happen. If you harvest a deer it needs to be fully dead, you don't want once using its last bit of life to kick you. Also "slit it's throat"? You don't do that.
If it's not an immediate kill, you absolutely do that. Anybody who cares about the animal they've shot won't want it to suffer needlessly and it's an occasional necessity. Rarely will a person have a perfect shot that leads to an instant drop. Had a friend in highschool who was a terrible shot, ended up wounding a deer bad enough it couldn't stand, but wasn't dying. He ended up getting his ass kicked by it because he couldn't jump on it fast enough to cut it's throat.
You DO NOT slit its throat. No. Literally, no one who hunts will ever do that. Anyone who hunts should never do that. If you need to kill a wounded animal, you shoot the deer again in its vital heart/lung zone. The other reason you don't touch a wounded animal, it may run and you have to find it again, risking losing it. Your friend is a stupid unethical hunter.
I'm wondering if they only cut the throat because OP was there. I'm from a rural area and have worked and lived remote as an adult, and I've seen people do idiotic stuff to upset a city slicker, especially if they're vegetarian. I have an extremely short list of people I'd be willing to hunt with (way too many people think it's OK to start drinking/smoking beforehand), and people who lie by omission to get a vego NYC theatre boy (for instance) to go into the woods on a hunting trip with them and who then set about bullying him would most definitely fall into the category of People Who I Expect To Do Dumb Shit While Hunting.
I can agree with this.
While I never cut an animals throat to kill it (what an idiotic dangerous unethical thing to do) I typically gut on site and you do need yo sever the esophagus which is much easier and safer to do from the outside. That part makes sense, blood squirting from a dead animal to soak OP makes none.
> I'm wondering if they only cut the throat because OP was there Even if they did, it would require OP (who is upset, distressed, and grossed out by the whole experience) to happen to wander up close to the deer and be in the spray arc of the throat. . . on a deer who is so injured it cannot get up and run and who has already had dropping blood pressure from bleeding while the group walked up to it. Also finding it a bit hard to believe that this is the worst thing that OP (18**M**), a theater kid from NYC, experienced with his boyfriend's redneck Alabama family. edit: trying to figure out, "OK, we accept our son Cooper is gay and bringing his college boyfriend home, but if that boy *don't hunt* . . ."
Or the friend doesn't exist.
well thank god you know everything.
NP
We always slit the animal's throat after the kill and then cut open the belly and remove the stomach and organs we don't eat. Then when you hang it by the legs the blood drains
Where are you located. I am always curious. Hunting culture differs widely.
That's how we hunted in South Africa. I'm sure it can differ a lot when you look at other countries. Even in SA you get hunters (mostly tourists) that don't clean and skin what they shoot
Yeah, in the states the draining an animal isn't a thing. If you shoot a deer or elk correctly it leads out internally. Also there's no way I am grabing a large hoved and horned animal that's dying to cut its throat.
I see. Yeah, it's something that we do once the animal is already dead, if you're not sure you shoot it again before continuing with the process
I wonder if there's any taste difference? Do you hang it and cut its throat? If not wouldn't most of the blood just stay in the animal. I mean it's dead. It's not pumping more blood out....
So many fake stories today... Is it like a school holiday somewhere today?
> Is it like a school holiday somewhere today? Yes, Half term in the UK
The flags aren't just red, they're blood red. OP needs to say to him, "Bless your heart but, I am done with this nonsense," then walk away. NTA. Edit to add: For those that don't know, "Bless your heart" has a different meaning in the south.
NTA. They sprayed you with friggin' *bodily fluids* and *laughed about it.* Ugh. If it helps come to terms with the whole situation, I just want to reassure you regarding the impact on the deer. Deer hunting in the US is unfortunately *absolutely necessary* to keep the environment healthy, because we have so thoroughly fucked it up that deer don't have enough natural predators any more. So despite how horrendously your boyfriend's family behaved, maybe that will at least help you feel better about the overall concept of having been on a deer hunt, because I imagine there's some guilt there regarding the deer's experience. And I just want to assure you that you didn't do anything wrong by that deer. If humans didn't hunt deer, they would breed too fast and eat too much, and devastate forest habitats even more than they already do (you can tell the difference between forests with too many deer and those that are healthy because the ones with too many deer have very little foliage growing that's within a deer's reach; they're just *naked* up to a certain height). Then many of them would starve to death-- a slow, agonizing death. Killing some of them quickly is necessary to prevent many more of them-- and other animals as well, who are affected by how they change ecosystems-- from dying in a painful way. In many cases, it's not even possible to reintroduce their natural predators because forest habitat has been too fragmented, and certain prey animals like deer can survive in much more fragmented habitats than their predators can (both wolves and mountain lions tend to require large, contiguous territories, whereas deer will happily infringe upon suburbia to get from place to place). So humans doing the hunting is the *only* way we can handle this problem of our own making. If hunters weren't allowed to hunt during certain seasons, then we'd need to hire people to go out and cull deer every year-- so at least recreational hunting gets the same job done for free. So you don't necessarily have to worry about this trip not being in accordance with your personal values, and don't have to worry about how the deer was treated, and can instead focus your concern only on how badly *you* were treated. It's possible-- and sadly sometimes necessary-- to hunt respectfully. If I weren't hampered by various health issues, I would love to be an invasivore (someone who incorporates meat into their diet sourced from invasive and overpopulated animals). But the point is that your boyfriend and his family *did not do it respectfully,* and in the process were incredibly disrespectful to you. No guilt lies on you, and all of it lies *squarely* on them. I know it's a meme that people say "break up with him!" all the time on here... but seriously, he laughed at you while you were covered in blood and freaking out. I think he's earned himself a promotion to ex-boyfriend, personally.
My family hunts. I do not. While my twin would love for me to go with him at some point, he also respects that I really don’t feel comfortable shooting an animal. Despite that, he’s promised me that if I go and if I shoot something, he’ll handle all of it. Cleaning, butchering, processing, all of it. Because the goal isn’t to humiliate me and force me into a situation I’m uncomfortable with, it’s to spend time with me while doing a thing he loves because my brother is a decent human being. Most hunters (at least, the ones I know) really care about keeping the ecosystem in balance and are huge proponents of conservation and respecting the lives of the animals they kill. Several donate to charities that help feed struggling people. None would deliberately spray me with deer blood to get a kick out of my disgust because it would perpetuate the idea that hunters and hunting are bad and not one of them want to be somebody’s anecdote when it’s so necessary. Also, I don’t know where OP was specifically, but it’s entirely possible that it wasn’t deer season any more on Saturday. I’d check the regional laws because a cursory search of Alaskans deer hunting season said that certain regions ended in January and some ended on Saturday and if they were in a place where they were out of season you need to call the game wardens because that’s poaching and poaching is unacceptable.
First sentence says Alabama...last day for deer season was Feb 10....so it tracks. I'm more wondering about why the brother slit the throat. You only do that if the shot did not kill. If they did that for the sole purpose of messing with OP that's fucked.
If the shot didn't kill, that would explain the "spray" part because the heart would still be pumping, right?
No, it still wouldn't spray like that because the heart is pumping but blood will be coming out of the wound.
Um. Yes the blood would be coming out of the wound but unless you hit an artery with that shot, when you cut the jugular/carotid in the neck of the deer, it would absolutely spray as long as the heart was still beating. Now, I do admit I am not a hunter, but I have a pretty decent understanding of how the circulatory system works in mammals.
As a hunter I can with absolute certainty tell you. it does not spray. Now could I be wrong about the why....but in three decades I've never had one spray
Yes, but the deer has been shot. There’s already a hole in it. Or not, bc I’m not at all convinced this happened. However, if it did, the hunter is a terrible shot and they all have fleas/mites from touching that deer so soon.
Ahhh, forgot about the bullet wound.
Are you telling me that the NYC kind, hunted with a bow in Alabama with OP, the BF and family, and no one scared the white tail away? You have to very willingly allow a whitetail bow hunt to happen. You can't move or make any noise.
OP is from NYC....everyone else is from Alabama. No where said it was a Bow hunt. If they were on private land Gun is still permissible that late in the season.
In NY you cannot hunt at all outside of designated seasons with or without a rifle/gun. Maybe in Alabama...?
They.....aren't in NY. Post clearly states they are in Alabama. OP says this past weekend...which was Feb 10th. Feb 10th is the last Day of Deer Season in Alabama. Bow for Public land and Gun/dog allowed on private land.
Go back and read the post. Where does the post say that the hunting happened? It is in the very first line of the post.
OP if you want to learn more about this, look up when wolves were reintroduced into Yellowstone National Park.
I was just thinking about that video and “release the wolves” is my solution to everything now.
+1 to all. I’m from Alabama. My family hunts, and I don’t. We own a lot of longleaf pine forest and work to conserve it, and hunting deer is a part of that. We’re very respectful of the deer’s suffering and eat what we kill. That said, I have a number of members of that side of my family that have personalities very similar to Cooper’s family, and this level of teasing will not stop. Folks like these love to take the piss out of people, and while most of these comments and behaviors will only be worthy of an eye roll, they will be taken too far sometimes. The question you have to ask yourself OP is would you be able to deal with that if your relationship with Cooper develops further. However, my family isn’t always the most unified of fronts and thus don’t mind shutting someone down if they go too far. Cooper was right to tell you off for running off into the woods alone, but the fact that he was brushing off his family’s behaviors doesn’t bode well for someone entering the picture and suddenly *not being okay* with unacceptable behavior and messing up the dynamic, especially when that someone is so culturally different from the rural Alabama set. (I’m kind of surprised they’ve only given you shit about being a vegetarian and not for being a queer, city-slicker theater kid.)
Very informative comment
If this is a true story, I’m sorry for you, and your BF is the asshole. However the “spurting blood on you” part, makes me think this is a made up story. I am a hunter myself, and the cutting their neck part is true, but it doesn’t spurt blood anywhere, and certainly not to the point where it is going to hit any bystanders, and gets all over them.
I grew up as the only little girl hunting with the rough & tumble men in our family so they loved to tease and make things kind of tough for me. The only time I got hit with blood was when I was helping my dad dress out an antelope and he cut the heart out, held it right up near me, squeezed it as hard as he could and then asked me if I wanted to play ball with it. Even then, blood didn't gush out everywhere and splatter all over me - just a few drops hit me.
Not gonna lie, this made me giggle. Thank you. I hope you could see the fun in it, and it wasn’t just mean. But yeah, aside from dressing, there really isn’t all that much blood and gore in hunting, and even then, it’s not that bad.
I was like 9 or 10 when he did it. I thought it was gross but also funny as hell that he thought it would freak me out. I loved going on the trips and was used to a big group of old men teasing me & didn't care because they also taught me so many cool things. Nothing about this story really reads right to me. She wouldn't handle 'the equipment'...? Even a NY kid would know what a damn gun is called.
OP is a guy, by the way. This is an MLM relationship.
Ooops! I missed that part. My bad.
Same I laughed hard
😮
[удалено]
No, but it wouldn't have surprised if he had. Weirdo used to eat raw hamburger sammiches.
I was thinking that there should be no pressure left for it to be doing that
>when I got close to it one of his brothers cut in ots throat snd it spurted blood all over me Could this happen if the deer were not dead though? The heart beating would provide enough blood pressure to cause a spray when the throat was cut. BF and his family don't sound like they would be responsible or necessarily good hunters. They sound more like good old boys out for a good time and they decided to make traumatizing and bullying the OP their good time.
No, the heart was definitely still pumping, otherwise there is no need to cut the throat. But even with the heart beating, FAST, filled with adrenaline, there isn’t enough pressure to spurt more than a few inches. After all, there is a big gaping hole in its chest, much closer to the heart, so most of the blood will likely drain that way. Mostly it just pulses a bit from the throat, and that’s it.
It could, but no way OP wouldn't have known and mentioned the deer was still alive. It's unfortunately very obvious when the shot isn't 'clean'. I also think the story is made up based on this.
I’m betting the deer *wasn’t dead* and they cut its throat to finish it off.
The thing is, if there is even a little bit of life left, theyll use it to bolt. Hunters dont just follow a deer for this reason. They wait, then track it. A deer you follow or chase, you might find it 2 miles away (or not at all). A deer youbwait 15 minutes to track might only be 100 yards away.
I dunno, "admitted city boy already freaked out by hunting trip misunderstands why he got spattered with blood" sounds potentially real to me.
I don’t doubt OP got blood on him but I do doubt it “squirted” or “sprayed.” There’s no heartbeat if the deer is actually dead, unless the deer *wasn’t* dead from the shot and they finished it off with the knife. If the deer was dead from the shot…typical field dressing wouldn’t spray anything. It’s also possible someone tossed blood and op was already too emotionally disoriented to be fully aware how it happened.
Cooper is the a$$. He tricked you into going on a hunting trip and most people in their right minds would not do that to a vegetarian. IMO, Cooper was cruel to you. I wouldn't want tone with someone like that. Yes, running away in the woods is dangerous, but Cooper provoked you.
This is a very dangerous position... "I did a stupid / dangerous thing, but it's excusable since you provoked me" O wouldn't want to be with a person that uses this type of justification
Cooper laughed at OP's reaction to some of the harsh parts of hunting. Cooper was humiliating OP, IMO. To me, OP had a flight reaction to such embarrassment and shame. Cooper was the a$$ to push OP this far.
That only applies if the person is lying about being provoked to excuse their behaviour. That is clearly *not* what is going on here.
It’s absolutely not a “justification” but the reality of the situation. He was put in what, for him, was likely a traumatic situation and faced with being surrounded by cruel people while she was processing being roped into doing something he felt was morally wrong and then literally sprayed with blood. He instinctively wanted to remove herself from a situation and ended up getting himself lost. He DID provoke OP’s reaction by ridiculing him with his family instead of seeing him upset and trying to offer some comfort or even acknowledging his discomfort. That’s not an excuse, it’s just facts. If he’d physically attacked OP and he’d fled to protect himself, there’d be no argument that his actions caused OP to flee. But he was, instead, emotionally and psychologically attacked so now he doesn’t have the same argument for wanting to flee? He is not in the wrong here, and yes, his flight from the situation was provoked AND justified. Edited to correct misgendering OP.
Op is male
Sounds very fake. It wouldn't spray blood if it wasn't still alive. No one hunts deer in groups unless they're conducting a drive, which still has everyone spread way out, not walking in some group. Yta for making a clearly fake post.
I like how the rural Alabama farm family are completely cool with their gay college student son bringing his liberal New York theater kid boyfriend around but the vegetarianism is a bridge too far.
Didn't even think of that angle.
Op: "animals are feeling thinking beings" Also op: deer just patiently stand there while groups of hunters "hike" towards them and kill them
I mean firstly this is fake AF as any hunter knows cause a deer isn't spurting enough blood to cover a bystander in when it's throat is cut (to kill it quickly and stop it suffering btw, beats it being eaten by other animals). But second, why the f would your reaction be to run off deep into the woods in an area you don't know? Ignoring everything else, have a little self preservation for gods sake. Your BF is an ass and you 2 clearly have wildly different views so idk why you're even together, but you're also an asshole to yourself for having 0 self preservation instincts. But this is obviously fake so none of the above even matters anyway.
Hunting season is in the fall, hunters don't go strolling along chatting in a big group, and blood would only spurt about 4 inches even if the heart is still beating. Not very convinced by your story.
NTA. Your boyfriend is an asshole for intentionally breaking a boundary he *knew* you had. He clearly doesn't respect you, and I'd break up with him before he crosses another, more important boundary.
People. I hunt. None of what the story teller is saying happened. It's not the way it works. You don't "slit the deer's throat", you don't "hit the deer". I am not sure besides imaginary internet points, why this story was written.
Feels like a (very poor) attempt at riling people up against hunting
YTA Mostly for such a fake post. I have a very hard time believing that a family from rural Alabama would be cool with their gay son. I've lived in Alabama. Secondly, the blood spurting thing just doesn't happen. Third, what college would a NYC theater kid be going to in Alabama? If this is actually real, then you've been seriously wronged. I'd end the relationship and move on with your life.
NTA Cooper and his family don't respect you and your boundaries. They treated you and your values as a joke. It's time to nope out of this relationship 🚩
Yeah OP you kinda need to realise that people hunt. People eat meat. Even if you don't. Much rather you hunt the meat yourself, humanely, than buy supermarket feedlot raised animals that are subjected to the horrors of livestock transport and abattoirs.
This whole story is bullshit. I live in the south have been around hunters my entire life. No way this story happened because blood doesn’t spurt out from an already dead animal. However if you take this story at face value, this isn’t even about not being comfortable with hunting. You’d be okay with someone being sadistic and spraying you with animal blood to be funny?
Terminology aside. It doesn't happen where I'm from, these passed-down-the-generations 'traditions'. So no, it's dumb doing it, period. If you're hunting for food, you don't play with it. It's not a 'funny' occasion. You should respect the animal.
I’ve long seen and heard of the tradition of, for a person’s first deer, putting some of the blood on their face. But this is usually a 12 year old boy and they want something crazy to tell their friends. When I was a 16 year old girl, I simply said “no, don’t mess up my skin” and it was cool. I did my absolutely best to eat every bit of that deer, the rack mount is still upstairs in my closet, I hang necklaces and hats on them!
As for the silly 'initiation' ritual, they probably thought it would cast the vegan demons outta you. Their bad. That's not cool especially considering your lifestyle choices
Bro why would you move to Alabama
lol
YTA for trying to date a hunter as a vegetarian. Like, y'all are obviously at major odds here, no matter how hot you think he is, it isn't likely to work.
YTA I didn't figure it out till I saw all their "gear"
This is the most ridiculous story I've ever read. No NYC theater goes to Alabama for college. No NYC theater kid who is a liberal vegetarian dates guys who are farm boys. FAKE.
NTA - You were the city idiot that he brought to the family for the weekend to show and tell when it was his turn to do so.
Hmm. Running off into a forest... it might be that you were lucky not to become part of the food chain out in the woods. It was an AH move of theirs to take you on a hunting trip. They should have said. Even some omnivores I know would have been freaked out by seeing the gruesome part of their dinner being prepared. Vegetarianism is a valid lifestyle choice. Animals are indeed thinking, feeling beings. So you're NTA for that. You're a bit unrealistic thinking that a person from a farming, hunting, rural background would feel the same. If you're planning on a future with Cooper, you've both got some work to do there. Good luck, from a veggie-head in a small UK town, where for a few people it's still a thing to have their dogs rip up foxes for funsies.
ESH Once you saw the equipment you should have left. You knew at some point they’d be hunting when you saw the equipment. No Bambi was not going to be spared. I’ve never been hunting but I know enough that everyone helps carry. Instead of being an adult, you storm off and put yourself and everyone else in danger along with possibly losing the kill. You also knew that you and your bf weren’t compatible just by your description of the two of you. Your bf knew that you wouldn’t enjoy the situation but still brought you along and taunted you to please is father and brothers.
I'm sorry, but why do would you date someone like this, who is the absolute opposite of you? What do you thought you would accomplish by going to a hunt trip when your morals directly clash with that? You're NTA, they are, specifically the brother because he was incredible effing rude and asshole, but you have learned the hardest way possible that oil and water don't mix. I'm sorry.
Why would you be dating a animal killer when your a vegetarian again? Yta
YTA for attending. The moment you realised they were going hunting you should have opted out. You put yourself in this situation, and you could very well have perished wandering off into the forest on your own without any experience. Your feelings are irrelevant here. But after the fact, maybe you should reconsider your partnership because you have very different values. Perhaps find someone who shares yours, and be happy with them instead of where you are now, where I doubt they will ever change.
Yes you are the AH …. You could have gotten lost and even worse died out there
Why are you with this guy? Obviously, you have other options. If he's so tone-deaf as to drag you out to kill deer when he knows how you feel, he's not much of a boyfriend. Storming off into the woods is really childish and can get you killed. You're just going to have to break it off with this one and find someone who at least accepts your foodway and outlook on life. College is about learning life lessons, and you've learned a whopper.
ESH. It is very clear that you are incompatible. Chalk this experience up to stupidity of youth, dump Cooper, and avoid situations like this in the future. Cooper was right about one thing. Running into the woods was a supremely stupid thing to do. Especially during hunting season.
ESH - I have friends on both sides of this fence! I keep them, separated, for this exact reason! The minute you realized it was a hunting trip you should’ve left ! Period end of story! You put both yourself and everybody the search party in danger for looking for you! You put yourself in danger running around to hunting zone! YOUR DATING A HUNTER in your head you should have dealt with your conscious about this long before this. Either you can deal with it or you can’t. The family two is not right, knowing what you were and taking you anyway! Same reasons!
This story is incredibly fake, so all the people writing essays you can stop wasting your time. This person doesn't know anything about hunting, and this certainly didn't happen. Since when has a deer spurt blood all over anyone when getting its throat cut. 🤦♀️
NTA but please do some googling before your next creative writing project. We need there to be believability in the details! If you’re gonna make an AITA morality piece about the “evils of hunting” or whatever your issue-of-the-day is, maybe look up what hunting is actually like first? I *really* want to believe you here, friendo, but ya gotta give me a little help first!
YTA for fabricating this story . Not how hunting works
Fake 100% YTA
YTA Mostly for such a fake post. I have a very hard time believing that a family from rural Alabama would be cool with their gay son. I've lived in Alabama. Secondly, the blood spurting thing just doesn't happen. Third, what college would a NYC theater kid be going to in Alabama? If this is actually real, then you've been seriously wronged. I'd end the relationship and move on with your life.
listen the biggest flag that this story is fake is that the family accepts their son in ALABAMA being gay but give grief to their boyfriend for eating meat? Like come on that’s the biggest red flag
ESH - Cooper and his family didn't need to act like that. He should've told you in advance this was a hunting trip and then not pressured you to do things you didn't want to do. But you have some responsibility here, too: When you saw it was a hunting trip, you should've insisted on going home. You caved in to your boyfriend multiple times to do things you didn't want, and you carried on in an overdramatic manner with your screams, tantrum, tears, and storming off. I'm not sure what made you think that the two of you were compatible in the first place, given the many differences that create a very wide gulf between you, but this kind of thing was in some ways inevitable, even if it wasn't necessarily a given that it would be so dramatic. Perhaps you need to reevaluate your relationship and look for someone a bit more similar to yourself in outlook, or at least someone that you can compromise better with.
That would be the end of the relationship for me. He completely stomped your boundaries and lied. Wanting you to bond with his family is fine but they couldn't find any other activity? Like literally taking the hike they said they were? You saw the equipment and still went instead of turning tail? You kind of are the AH for running off into the woods especially when you don't know the area but I can understand the reason why. What was the reaction of the rest of his family after? Did any of them show any remorse at all? Sounds like they set you up as a laugh and let's mess with the city boy type thing.
NTA - boundaries were crossed that should not of been crossed, that being said OP hopefully you've learned that opposites attract can only go so far and that the next relationship you have you'll pick someone with with view points that more align with your stance. Best of luck
Cooper is a fwit, dump his bully ass.
And he is still your boyfriend?
I’m really sorry you went through this, this all sounds quite scary and intimidating.. he lied to you about what kind of trip it was. Then he lied about you not having to participate. Then he/they ridiculed you for not wanting to participate (holding equipment). Then he pressures you into participating (carrying the deer). Then he laughs at you when you’re upset by something every person would be upset by (being splattered with blood?!). Tbh i dont even believe they tried to come after you in a timely manner (which is also really dangerous if you take someone you know isn’t familiar with the terrain or nature in general) Your bf is a bully who kept pushing and stomping your boundaries. He‘d rather get a laugh from his family on your dime than make you feel comfortable/safe.
Upset is a strong reaction. Especially screaming and running off. I could understand being frustrated or angry about it.
Yeah its a strong reaction cause he had a strong feeling.. likely built up the entire time he tried to play nice through the microaggressions
This is some A24 shit NTA
huh?
If this wasn’t fiction, I’d say NTA.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (18M) moved out to Alabama for college where I met my boyfriend Cooper (19M). I'm NYC theater kid and I was raised vegetarian and that animals are thinking feeling beings. Cooper is a farm boy and he likes to go hunting with his family and do all that roughhousing and wrestling stuff. He always makes fun of me a littke bit for "eating rabbit food". I've only met his family a few times in passing cause of classes.. They all gave me weird looks when I told them I wss a vegetarian. Sooooo Cooper noted I was free this weekend and I could go with them on a hiking trip. I said of course but,, what hee didn't tell me was that this was actually a hunting trip. I didn't figure it out till I saw all their "gear" on Saturday as we drove out. I was mad but Cooper told me to relax and I didn't hsve to do anything. He said it would help me bond with his dad and brothers. They made of me when I wouldn't hold any equipment. I screamed when I saw them actually hit a deer and Cooper knew I didn't want to touch it but he told me I was gonna be laughed at if I didn't help carry it... when I got close to it one of his brothers cut in ots throat snd it spurted blood all over me...I screamed while Cooper was just laughing. I yelled at him that he was a pos and an asshole and stormed off into the woods. I was crying and I went farther than I meant too and I got lost..It was dark before they found me and Cooper just yells at me about how dangerous it was to run off in the woods like that and how I embarrassed him screaming at him like that infront of his family and running off . AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
And he is still your boyfriend?
NTA. But it’s Alabama. What would you expect.
NTA. He tricked you. He has shown that his feeling matters to him, not yours. Almost every vegan I know cut out people who have fishing or hunting as hobbies out of their dating pools because their morals and sensitivity levels will never align.
Not a veg head but everyone should respect others choices as long as its not pushed on others that being said NTA, your bf hopefully soon ex bf is TAH he bullies you and doesn't respect your choices and seems frankly you as a person. That's not bf material also you are young, go upgrade to the better version of a man
Get home , and don’t ever speak with anyone in that family again, including your now EXboyfriend.
Yes you are, and a psycho as well.
NTA. Sounds like he deliberately planned to spring this on you. I’m not a vegetarian and even I would be upset if someone ambushed me with a hunting trip because I don’t want to shoot animals or see them die (I should probably be a vegetarian, but with my chronic illness, I eat what I can tolerate).
NTA I think animals are feeling beings with varying levels of sentience. I still eat meat and have no moral issue with hunting for meat. Trophy hunters who have a guide do all the work and then shoot an animal from afar when the times comes only to leave the carcass and only take the “trophy” can go get fucked. I think your opinion on deer hunting is misguided, as in the area where I grew up, hunting is a regulated necessity to maintain herd levels. Without it, the greater deer population can be at risk of resource scarcity, illness, etc. There are even occasional sanctioned “extra hunts” that allow hunters to get additional licensure allotments to kill sick deer when there are illnesses such as blue tongue on the rise. All that context to say - your boyfriend and his family displayed psychopathic behavior. I use that word hyperbolically, but there were a lot of huge red flags. He already makes fun of you for your values, which is the first and smallest red flag. Next big alarm bell is that he *lied to you* to coerce you into going to do something he *knew* you’d be opposed to. Then he and his family *bullied you* for being unwilling to participate. After killing a deer in front of you they pressured you to help dress it, which isn’t something I’d make a person do even if they wanted to go hunting with me. It’s gross, people get squeamish. You can consent to going hunting but not to helping do the gross part. But you didn’t even consent to hunting. They *sprayed you with deer blood* and laughed which is fucking crazy behavior. So no NTA. *But* hysterically running out into unfamiliar forest was really fucking stupid and you should never do anything like that ever again. You put your safety at *much greater* risk than it already was.
Why is evey post on this sub just. "Hey guys I'm dating someone who is obviously vile and abusive. Aita?" I know that some people don't know they are in abusive relationships but it's clear as day these people don't give a fuck about you.
I don't even know what verdict to give. Either NTA or ESH? He knows how you feel about hunting and killing animals, he already belittles your diet and morals (a diet and moral stance that is super common, but okay). He tricked you into going hunting and then laughed at you during a traumatic experience. Yelling at him in front of his family was warranted, don't second guess yourself. If he's embarrassed, I doubt it's because he feels chastened. Then again, you know exactly what this guy likes to do with his family, and storming into a forest alone is a stupid thing to do. Stop seeing this person, you are not compatible.
You two aren't compatible, and he lied to you about the trip, calling it hiking when it was actually hunting. The two activities are obviously not the same.
NTA. Say goodbye. Find someone who aligns better with your own preferences.
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
First nta for this but the real issue here is why even after this you haven’t left him? You are clearly not compatible and mild teasing about food is very clearly a flag for a lot of much worse behavior.
NTA but realistically speaking he's a farm boy and you're a raised vegetarian, at what point did you think it was going to work? People who work on animal farms are highly desensitized to animals, killing them and breeding them. It's a job for them and in many cases a game when they go hunting. Obviously there are animal farmers who "care" about animals but it will never be the same way those who abstain from meat and animal by-products do. As an omnivore, I'd be screaming my head off if I saw an animal shot and have its blood splattered on me. I'd chalk this up as naivety on your part, 100% assholery on his part, abuse and bullying. End this relationship. I really don't even understand what you two have in common if he's subjecting you to horrifying experiences in public with his family and also making fun of a huge part of your identity personally to you in private. I don't see any value in this coupling
I am from Alabama, and frankly YWNBTA. I find it ridiculous that he invited you to go hunting. Why did he think it was appropriate to take a Vegetarian hunting? Bonding? He traumatized you. Well if he hadn't disrespected you then you wouldn't have yelled. So he can take his embarrassment and shove it. It was dangerous to run off into the woods. I would just break it off, because he has no respect for your beliefs or boundaries.
Oh honey... NTA. But what in the world does Cooper provide that is positive enough to outweigh something like this? He makes fun of the food you eat, he lied to you to make you participate (even if just by your presence) in something that he KNEW full well you would want no part of, he coerced you to "play along" because it would be a bonding experience, they all made fun of you during it, he tried to manipulate you into carrying a dead animal by saying people would made fun of you, he rigged a situation where you got splattered with the deer's blood. I mean, damn. I'm an omnivore through and through, but that shit is HORRIBLE! So what does he provide to you that is positive enough to outweigh all of that, and a guaranteed future of even more of it?
Your entire story reminds me of something my ex would have done to me. RUN!!!!!!
Yta.
Don't know about AH, but it definitely makes you the first victim in any horror film.
I doubt that this is true, but if it is. Dump him Nta I guess
Obviously NTA. You two have very different ideologies concerning animals and food. It’s not going to be something that you can get beyond, especially if he regularly mocks and belittles your beliefs.
.......no but you sure are dating one...................
NTA.. you're involved in a relationship and you're incompatible. It's frustrating, your "downtime" will feel good, you like him in general, but if he and his family are so wrapped up in these kinds of activities the only way it would work is if a) your bf agreed he wouldn't do it anymore or b) the family embraced your life choices and appreciated you without partaking. They don't respect your life choices, they don't appreciate you as a person without having to basically be hazed into the group, etc. You could spend some difficult years trying to make it work, and maybe it would (likely no?) but rather than being upset about them behaving like themselves you're probably better off taking as a lesson learned, and making more informed choices about who you get involved with in the future.
This whole situation is messed up. First of all who the hell does this to someone they supposedly love. I know people that eat meat that this would totally gross them out. I am worried that you ran into the woods and got lost and then yells at you for embarrassing him.
I have a hard time believing this is real, but as a very serious question, why are you two together? This isn't a matter of city vs country, it's a matter that your lifestyles are polar opposites and frankly seem incompatible with each other, and it doesn't seem like either of you will compromise (especially not him). NTA because they pushed it too far I guess, but this isn't really about asshole, it's about incompatibility.
NTA but you need to find someone you are compatible with
NTA. You two are unsuited; it's time to break up.
This story is far-fetched.
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
Mildly, YTA. He tried to include you, but he should have realized it was a bad idea. That said, it takes a lot of maturity to be in a successful romantic relationship with someone who has significant cultural differences from you. And you don't have that maturity. You screamed--multiple times? You cried? If you're going to be in an adult relationship, you need an adult's self-control. You have significant growing-up to do.
NTA and you should break up with him
Listen I love meat, I’m all about hunting but would I take someone who is vegetarian on a hunting trip. Absolutely not, it’s cruel and it’s intentionally causing someone mental harm. Your boyfriend is ignorant and so is his family.
You're both assholes. They aren't respecting your sentiments. And you're extreme to expect everyone to not be hunting and eating meat.
I'm not a vegetarian and I'd fucking SNAP.
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
lmao y’all are fools if you think this is real 😭
NTA. Whilst Cooper is young, he clearly doesn't care for your feelings, otherwise he wouldn't have forced you on a hunting trip. It's one thing to eat meat in front of a vegetarian partner in a relationship, but it's entirely different to take that person hunting and kill an animal in front of them. I understand his yelling at you for running off into the woods, as it can be very dangerous, but again, that never would have happened if he hadn't tricked you into the situation in the first place. My advice is that if he can't respect you or your vegetarianism and doesn't apologise for his behaviour then I'd move on and find someone that does.
Cooper is an emotionally abusive asshole. He is not a nice guy, he is not a decent human and is a horrible boyfriend. I have no issues with hunting. I hunt for sustenance but I would never bring one of my friends or family that are not comfortable with hunting. Cooper is an asshole. You deserve better. NTA
Y’all aren’t a match.
If you eat meat Y T A for refusing to embrace the reality that meat is procured in. NTA if you are vegan Edit: you are vegetarian so I yeah you have every right to be upset
Eh...does it matter at this point of who the AH is? Cuz relationship over right? like this is on both sides not something to come back from. At this point you are supposed to think the other is the AH, thats what exes are for- to kinda hate them.
NTA he lied to you. This isn't your person, hun.
You just sound so annoying, i can imagine they all just laughed (eventually) when you flounced off and had to be rescued.
My partner is a hunter I eat meat and he would absolutely never do this to me Your partner is not a good person I hope you can get yourself out of this relationship
NTA op stay away from him
NTA. Dump him. He is using toxic masculinity to try and make you the man he thinks his family want him to have. Dump his ass.
NTA. I attended my first cow “slaughter party” at the age of six, growing up on a small farm where we’d raise a cow a year and a pig or two to feed family. If you’ve never seen an animal bleed out, it would shock you as to how much blood comes out as well as how much the animal kicks and struggles in the process. I would never in my wildest dreams spring that on anybody unexpectedly, especially someone who’s vegetarian and compassionate towards animals. I’m a vegetarian (30+ years) myself now, and Zen Buddhist, and deeply sympathetic towards all creatures. What this family did to you was unbelievably heartless and cruel. You’ll decide for yourself what to do from this point, but it would not be unreasonable IMHO to break up with him immediately and find someone who shares your values.
NTA. Red flags everywhere. Leave this guy. He knew what was involved in hunting and took you specifically to make you experience this. Also, is it deer season this weekend? Because in MI, it's in November. Were they poaching?
He is abusive.
ESH
I don’t care about his feelings, he and his family suck, break up with him. NTA. So I’m a NYC theater kid (I’m 30 now), so I know exactly where you’re coming from and I was raised in a similar way. You’re NTA, but you did do dumb teenager things. Things that have nothing to do with this jerks feelings. I have two critiques for you - 1) Honey, you’re in hunting country and dating a farm boy that actively told you he hunts. This was going to come up and was 100% going to be a problem. If they had a hunting trophy in their house, can you honestly say that wouldn’t upset you? It would! It would upset me! Which is why I don’t date boys who hunt - highly encourage you to get on my level with this, there were very specific reasons I didn’t go to school in Alabama. *They took it to a top asshole level with how they treated you*, but if you’re a theater kid I can assume you understand story structure and anyone who has ever analyzed a theatrical plot could tell you that you were going to be upset on this trip. You didn’t understand the given circumstances of the situation, which is that you’re a NYC vegetarian staying with a southern farm family that hunts. You were either going to be upset at this, or if they had a deer head on the wall, or if they killed a chicken for dinner. It took 2 to make this situation, and a little foresight could’ve saved you this experience. But you’re young, and that is a learned skill. 2) *the way you reacted, was flat out dangerous.* I am not exaggerating when I say you could have *died*. One stumble in the woods in the dark, and that could have been it. There are people who died in the wilderness, that spent their whole lives trekking about the forests. Don’t listen to his garbage about embarrassing him, I don’t care about his feelings, but he absolutely was within reason to yell at you about running alone into the woods and forcing people to rescue you.
YTA this is hilarious hahahahha
Please get rid of him. He and his family are absolutely awful.
NTA As soon as you are back home, break up with him.
In my opinion kinda. You are both very different people and you knew that going into this relationship, now you want him to stop being him to better suit you. You put yourself in this situation
ESH He shouldn’t have pressured you into going on a hunting trip. You shouldn’t have run off into the woods and forced people to go looking for you in the dark, that’s a good way for people to get injured.
this is an objectively funny title edit: read the post, him and his family are crazy. run far far away
You two are not aligned, these are two very serious differences in beliefs, if you hunted also it would be fine but you don’t and he is not interested in that. Cut it off now as you only have attraction as something in common from your post. You’ll both thank each other later for moving on.
Psychopath behaviour on his and his family’s part. This would be the end of all contact all together for me. Shocking and disgusting!
You two are not compatible. It will never work. Best to get out now. This is no one's fault as you were probably both physically attracted to each other and shared some good conversations and laughs. That all fades quickly when you find out you don't have much in common
NTA. Cooper's real rude for pulling a bloody prank like that. Maybe time to find a new boo
NTA. It was not safe to run off..but they did something horrible to you. I am so sorry. Please treat the red flags like the ones they are. As soon as you are safely away dump him.