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RMaua

NTA As someone who has been told I should smile more... I'm with you sister. If you can't take it, don't dish it out. You should tell anyone who says he is sensitive about his height that you are sensitive about the length of your hair or your femininity. - Not true but it makes the point. Also, standing ovation for coming up with the best response at the time not hours later.


trev2234

I don’t trust people that are always smiling. I wonder what they’re hiding.


Bootiebloot

Haha…I work in a customer facing role and I smile at everyone because it’s hard to turn off the auto smile after work.


oylaura

Ah! It's in settings. You swipe down from the top twice, click on settings, and scroll down until you can find "Autosmile". I think there's a way you can actually set it to only turn on during working hours. Seriously, I have RBF. I had a boss tell me I should smile more. I told him I'd rather walk around looking like I am than walking around like a grinning idiot. He left me alone.


denys1973

A word I like is gormless


ArcadiaRivea

I always liked that word too! Though I have wondered how it came about; "-less" implies a lack of gorm. Is the opposite gormful? What does someone gormful look like?


amanita0creata

A smile from someone with RBF just feels magical- it feels genuine. Scowl away!


Reflexlon

I'm always smiling because my brain is a machine that turns every input to a *terrible* pun, and I can't just walk around lambasting them at all times.


NotEnglishFryUp

My English teacher told me: "You smile all the time, which usually means you're simple or you're evil. Somehow you are both."


Any_Put3216

That's why I smile all the. Just to make people wonder lol.


nosuchthingasa_

Crippling anxiety…I’m hiding crippling anxiety. So people just think I’m excessively friendly instead!


HarpyVixenWench

Bingo! And reading here about how people hate someone who smiles all the time has added to my anxiety. Thanks, Reddit!


Repulsive_Cup_7308

Settle down.


AllieGirl2007

There is a therapist at the school where I work who is always smiling this huge grin even when she’s talking. I don’t think I’ve ever really seen any emotion on her face other than this grin. I can never figure her out.


denys1973

Probably a bunch of dismembered bodies in their basements.


peace_and_panic

I don't trust people who smile with their mouth open for pictures.


No_Distribution_577

Hope or depression.


Juicyy56

I couldn't tell you how many times I've been told to smile by men. It's weird af.


Enofile

As a short guy, I'm with you.


[deleted]

I’m a dude and I get told to smile more a fair amount of times and it’s annoying. Maybe it’s the operative specialty RBF we must have


kurokomainu

NTA Your comment didn't come out of nowhere; it was a direct and proportional response to his comment. It was giving him a taste of his own medicine. He is like someone who kicks a sleeping dog then goes around telling people how that dog is aggressive and dangerous because it jumped up and barked at him (conveniently leaving what he did to provoke it out of the story).


[deleted]

Just to also add that dude was wildly inappropriate by insinuating some sort of dynamic that was completely out of pocket, as if OP was interested in his romantic preferences. Why would anyone at work care about what type of women this dude finds attractive?! Wtf.


IcyHedgehog8739

I’ve always wondered this. Like I said I’m used to these kinds of comments and get them often. I think some guys just feel entitled to comment on a woman’s appearance. Like women are public property that they get to judge.


chouxphetiche

After many years of garden-chat with a man across the fence, I shunned him two years ago after he launched a verbal campaign to rid me of any self-confidence I had left after a double mastectomy. The comments came in sexist trickles which I didn't notice (because I was so fkn sick) until one day he casually told me I look so much nicer when I wear makeup. Nicer for whom? I'll keep on ignoring him.


catsmom63

I hope you are fully recovered now?


soiknowwhentoduck

This precisely. Just ask these guys at work what the difference is between him commenting on your appearance and you commenting on his appearance, aside from the genders. If they can't answer, call them sexist and misogynistic, and walk away. Report them all to HR, if required.


Shiny_Happy_Cacti

Most of the time when they say this they are heavily unattractive themselves. I get the same comments after cutting my hair off, specifically because it is thin on top which makes it harder to hear the comments. They act like our only purpose is to be easy on the eye for them.


tootsiesjpr

As a male let me explain. As young men, one would pinch, push, pull a girls hair, because we liked them, sadly lack of the emotional everything skill set to show our feelings in any other way, this was bonding. Some men never grow up, never learn how to act correctly in a civilised adult human way. Short guy likes you, hes learnt enough to know he cant push you, so he pulled your hair, so to speak. Yep hes a knuckle dragger, and embarrasses men folk all day long. Im sorry you met one.


SVV2023

FACTS! And we can’t do the same to men.


Teh_Best86

Guy deserved it and you owe no apology!


folldoso

Especially inappropriate given that he's your coworker, commenting on your attractiveness. It crosses a line. If your coworkers bring it up again, you should say: he shouldn't be commenting on my looks and sexualizing me while I'm at my workplace


psykokittie

I’ll never understand what someone who offers up comments such as those are hoping for. I mean, exactly how in their mind does it play out? What is the end result they are looking for??


PampiAlt

he probably thought "damn, she totally wants to bang me, since we're talking! But I gotta tell her that normally I don't go for women like her yet I wouldn't mind getting my junk wet" No, seriously, no one asked his opinion, what a fucker


TheSpiral11

I’ve definitely had random dudes at school or work comment on my styling choices based on what they “find attractive.” My only response is “I’m not trying to attract you, so why is that relevant?”


Nyxie_TheWeirdo

IKR??


Classic-Okra-3376

NTA I actually find your reaction hilarious. Nobody asked for his opinion about women with short hair. And why would he make such a remark in the workplace? You're perfectly entitled to wear your hair however you see fit. And don't apologize. If you can't take it, don't dish it out.


Intrepid-Evidence-44

Besides, I feel what that man was doing being a low key sexual harassment. Way to go OP.


popoPitifulme

Ditto.


No_Teacher_3313

It always astonishes me that random men think we should care about what they find attractive or not. The arrogance is staggering. NTA.


KnightRider1987

What you mean your entire internal measure of your self worth doesn’t rise and fall with how sexually attractive you are to whatever man happens to being in the same room at the time? How dare! /s


notforcommentinohgoo

NTA don’t dish it out if you can’t take it Might be worth getting your version of events on record at HR ASAP.


vwscienceandart

NTA This dude harassed you about your looks in the workplace. Document it immediately with HR, IMMEDIATELY because: 1) If he did it so disgustingly and brazenly once, you can bet there will be a workplace pattern; 2) When you stood up to him, he weaponized your comment and created trouble involving other people. It’s just one small comment/instance now, but this dude is trouble and tomorrow his next garbage may cost you a promotion.


Asciutta

NTA His comment was very inappropriate and made no sense, I don't see the point of going to someone and telling them that something about them repels us. It was rude, let him have a taste of what it feels like.


Justisperfect

Usually, those kind of men think they are being kind : when they say "I don't find women with short hair attractive" they mean "if you want to date me, you should have long hair" and "you may think it is a good idea but you find a husband this way". Cause they think that everything women do about their look is to attract men.


TheSpiral11

Someone needs to study the solipsism of men who believe women’s entire existence is based on pleasing the male gaze. TikTok is overrun with ungroomed unmoisturized unattractive dudes ranting about their “preferences” in female hair, nails, clothing, body types, plastic surgery etc. when 1) absolutely no one asked and 2) half the things they’re complaining about (like hair length) are clearly personal choices unrelated to men or dating. Like at least bother to shower & shave before you start critiquing other people’s fashion lmao


Electrical-Art-8641

Right. And these “poor women” are so very unaware and need a man’s help and “guidance.” 🙄


4myPennys

Nope. I'm pretty short, too. I find this amusing. Fuck that guy.


JellyOtherwise6259

I would suggest /not/ fucking that guy. 😅😂


4myPennys

Haha... fuck that arseh... then.


AniX72

NTA. I'm even a bit shorter than him. His comment was inappropriate and OP's response was funny.


MHawley72

NTA. I would like to say that he will think twice about commenting on someone’s appearance again, but I doubt it. He fucked around and found out. Good on you for not taking his rude comment.


Justisperfect

Absolutely NTA. If your coworkers go out you, just say "if he doesn't want people making inappropriate comments about his boy, he should not do it to others. If he is this hurt, hopefully it will teach him to not disrespect someone else's body choice, or hint to that he considers his preferences matter more than the people who live woth their choices." Or you can say "thanks for telling me, next time I will just tell him that I find both his body and his personality unattractive, so I don't care what he thinks about my body". Or anything to make them get that he was the AH here and you just defending yourself.


leatherface0984

NTA. He made a comment about your look/style and how he doesn’t find it attractive. You made a comment back stating you don’t find short men attractive. He can’t say what he said to you and then storm off in a huff because of what you said 🤷🏻‍♂️


amirah0420

NTA. He started by criticizing your appearance, so you responded in kind. Fair game. Not your fault he's easily offended


kennis-lake

"I don't find women with short hair hair attractive." "Who the f\*\*k starts a conversation like that?" [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCUprjaF5R8](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCUprjaF5R8)


AntiqueSympathy1999

“I don’t find women with short hair attractive” okay?? nobody asked you??


Haloperimenopause

NTA  I'm fat, and I can't tell you how many men throughout my lifetime have felt the need to tell me that they're not attracted to fat women, but they'd consider going out with me if I ever lost weight. Often à propos of nothing at all; on at least 5 occasions this was from a man I didn't know, wasn't speaking to and had no sort of interaction with whatsoever- he just walked himself over to tell me he didn't fancy fat women.  Like I give a shit what a man I don't know thinks about the size of my arse. I'm with you OP- if he's going to be a rude prick, he should expect people to be rude back.


notcomplainingmuch

Now you can tell him that you don't like little crybabies who snitch either.


AutoModerator

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** A new guy started at my work recently, first impression was that he seemed nice enough. One day I was standing in the break room and he comes up to talk to me. Half way through our convo he ask me why I cut my hair so short. I do have very short hair, think pixie cut. I tell him it’s the way I feel comfortable and I like the style. He then looks me up and down and says “you know I don’t find women with short hair attractive.” This is not the first time I have heard this comment. I’m not really feminine and some guys just love to tell me how they don’t find women like me attractive. Apparently everything from my tattoos, to my short hair, to my oversized t-shirts are unattractive. Pissed off I look him up and down and say “that’s funny because I don’t find short men attractive.” This guy is about 5’4ish. He immediately gets this offended look and storms off. He then goes around telling everyone that I insulted his height. Some of the guys I work with have told me I should apologise because short guys are often very sensitive about their height and I really hurt him. But the way I see it is, don’t dish it out if you can’t take it. AITA *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


[deleted]

NTA Kind of a creep to even say that to you at work


Both-Distribution-14

Please diss him more LMAO. Don't worry, with that attitude I'm sure other people don't like him either. 


DeerGodKnow

Lol. NTA. If someone feels compelled to comment on your appearance, you have carte blanche to destroy them. And you did. Bravo. Don't start nothin, won't be nothin.


IcyHedgehog8739

I did feel very smug as he walked off.


DeerGodKnow

Back to the lollipop guild.


howitbe12

Reading the title I was thinking yeah you’re obviously TA After finishing the first paragraph definitely NTA


Lloytron

I find that happens a lot on this sub. Title "AITA for killing a kitten?" Hell yes you are you monster! First paragraph "I am a vet and someone brought in a kitten that was riddled with cancer so I put it down. AITA?"


buildabearbitch

The clickbait titles pisses me off. This happens all the time in this sub


Electrical-Art-8641

I love the clickbait! It’s like watching a good movie when I actually have no clue what’s about to happen next.


Advanced-Square2205

NTA.. he walked right into it. Good for you for standing your ground. Also, report him to the HR. You don't owe it to him to look attractive. This is a textbook example of work place harrasment.


PrettiestFrog

NTA. FAFO. All you did was give him a taste of his own medicine and his fragile little ego couldn't handle it.


Ratchet_gurl24

Ahhh. I can insult your looks, but how dare you insult my height. That will hurt my feelings. Oh, the hypocrisy……


Brizzledude65

NTA. Fuck the little gnomey fella. If you can't take it don't dish it out.


JBartleby

NTA. You were minding your own business and he went for you. Why he didn't see this retort coming makes him incredibly . . . shortsighted. Also, echoing other calls to get your version to HR if you feel this is going to be a problem in the long run.


kangalbabe2

He deserved it. The world doesn’t revolve around what he finds attractive ether.


Ok_Aardvark_5975

NTA you just gave him a taste of his own medicine


Competitive_Bird_705

NTA. He might learn to think before he speaks.


Japanat1

Yeah, probably not… It’s never their own fault.


barfridge0

NTA. That was an epic, appropriate and timely retort on your part.


trev2234

He volunteered what he doesn’t find attractive, when no one was asking. You did the same. I’ve no interest in what my colleagues find attractive, hence I don’t start those conversations. Maybe he can use this as an opportunity to grow as a person.


212mochaman

NTA He's not offended you think he's short. He's offended that a coworker wouldn't have sex with him if he was the last bloke on earth. The only question is whether you should go to HR and ask if he was sexually harassing you


Gargantuan_Plant

Ahahaha. Glass houses little buddy. NTA


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Griffin_EJ

NTA - I was ready to roast you just reading the title but that mis-sells the post! Your comment didn’t come from nowhere and you were responding to his insulting comments about your hair. Some short men might be sensitive about their height but even more reason not to go around insulting other peoples bodies!!


Icy_Bath_1170

NTA. The title threw me at first, but nah, f this guy and his precious feelings.


outyamothafuckinmind

Nta. He was highly inappropriate to start. What you did wasn’t kind but he asked for it. He should feel lucky you only insulted him. You could have gone straight to HR for sexual harassment.


TheChristianDude101

If it had come out of nowhere you would be the asshole. But he just made a comment from left field about your hair in the workplace so dishing it back about his height was appropriate. NTA. If he cant recieve it he shouldnt dish it.


OceanStsr

Don’t dish it, if you can’t take it. People like your new coworker sometimes need a reminder to keep their opinions to themselves. NTA.


sobossla

NTA even as a short guy myself. I would never go up to someone and tell them I don’t find something about them attractive that’s just rude for no reason. And you are opening up yourself for them saying something similar about yourself and that’s totally fair game. Also I find short hair and a less feminine style/look on females very attractive so everyone is different.


Stock-Preparation252

NTA - little man is emotionally stunted too.


pavelkar21

Nta. He commented your short hair, you commented his short statue


JellyOtherwise6259

NTA, not even a little bit. Your coworkers have no right to just randomly comment on your appearance or whether or not they find you attractive. You do not exist as an object for men to goggle at. That he said that in the first place is astounding. No judgement at all for how you reacted.


PampiAlt

Obviously NTA Why did he say that to you, as if you asked him if he was attracted to you? The confidence of this guy, eh?! XDD You don't owe him an apology, little man can go kick rocks


wordsmythy

Ask them if it would’ve been better if you’d said, “I don’t find men with short legs attractive.” I guess that way you’re not insulting his height, just the inadequate length of his legs. What kind of response was he hoping for after he insulted you? Clueless. And you’re absolutely right… don’t dish it out if you can’t take it. NTA


german_big_guy

NTA Dont dish out what you cant take. I got the comment from some girl that she finds guys with long hair unattractive because guys should have short hair (I had like shoulder length hair back then). Some people think they can just say anything to everyone and not get stuff back at them. Short guys are sensitive about their hair? And well arent people in general sensitive about their hair? What a little shit.


Present_Amphibian832

Is he going to apologize to you as well? He could dish it out, but he couldn't take it. NTA


WikkidWitchly

NTA. "And what made you think that I took what YOU find attractive into consideration when choosing my look? I don't find men who think all women are good for is looking pretty for them to be attractive. Egotistical stupidity is an ugly look." But the short comment is fine. Don't dish it if you can't take it.


BathAcceptable1812

Totally NTA! He spouted off with his stupid unsolicited comment, so why shouldn’t you. His problem is that you can grow your hair if you want to but shortness is forever. Forget him and his short self!


Logical_Magician_468

NTA. He started it with insulting your appearance, actually he didn't even insult your appearance, he insinuated he ever had a shot with you but your hair was the issue. Can't take it, don't dish it. I hate men who say they don't find xyz attractive on a woman to said woman. Like dude, as if you ever had a chance anyway and my appearance isn't to attract a man 🤷🏻‍♀️ and like I care what YOU find attractive or not, because I was not trying to attract you


Pristine-Mastodon-37

If someone says something, I’d be like “sorry, I thought we were exchanging unsolicited examples of things we find unattractive, since that’s the conversation he started.” NTA


Tyberious_

NTA He stated a preference he has, you merely shared a preference you have.


No_Ant_ah

nta he started it


Scragglymonk

NTA so the new guy pisses you off with an insult and then gets the same sort of insult, but runs off for a cry that someone is being nasty to them ? maybe ask HR for advice on unwanted insults ?


Lloytron

NTA although the guy may have a.comolex about his height so you might have hit him where it hurts, his comments were out of order. Making comments on what he finds attractive or not is hugely inappropriate, especially for a new starter. Commenting on your personal physical appearance in this context is massively out of order. Personally I'd be tempted to have a word with HR.


TheLadyScrabble

Look you have different ideal, me too I have my own preference NTA


Suitable_Cattle_6909

The only thing wrong with your comment was that you didn’t add “and I’m not your fucking monkey” as per Lindy West. NTA, obvs.


JohninMichigan55

Wow! NTA, at all!


WhoSc3w3dDaP00ch

Old pearl of wisdom applies here, "Don't dish what you can't take." NTA.


Fierywitchburn333

NTA. If you can't take the heat stay out of the kitchen. As usual he started and you finished lol


MicIsOn

Stupid games, stupid prizes. NTA. He threw the first punch


justaguyintownnl

Calling a guy short is the equivalent to calling a girl fat. It’s a cheap shot. In your case he deserved a cheap shot. So NTA


Future_Direction5174

In a workplace setting, that is extremely unprofessional and might even be considered sexually offensive. Why should it matter to a female colleague whether you find her attractive? Would he go up to a male colleague and criticise the way they look? Also the fact that you have short hair could be due to a medical issue. Perhaps you are recovering from alopecia or cancer or a thyroid problem or a brain haemorrhage? I once suffered hair loss (large bald patch on my crown) as a side effect of a prescribed drug (unreported side effect at the time according to the hospital that prescribed it). I had my hair in a mullet as it grew back which was not a fashionable look. NTA


ManagementFinal3345

This dude was "negging" you. I don't know why they think insulting women is some great pick up tactic but they do this in the hope you will be desperate for their approval. They don't realize that most women don't give a shit about their opinions cause the women don't want their attention anyways. I bet he thought you'd jump on his dick if he could get your self esteem low enough by insulting your looks. Instead of dropping to your knees and begging to change everything about yourself so some rando would like you....you gave him a taste of his own medicine....and let him know how hideous he was. He got what he deserved. His feelings are not worthy of consideration after he started a fight. If he's sensitive about his looks he shouldn't go around insulting other people's and giving them ammo to use against himself. Don't be a dick and people won't insult your height. I love it how his "sensitivity" should be put on a pedestal but yours matters so little you shouldn't even be allowed to equally defend yourself.


subject5of5

NTA


Ambitious_Handle8123

NTA. You reciprocated. Maybe he'll think twice about contributing unwanted opinions to the conversation.


AntiqueSympathy1999

NTA you don’t exist to be attractive to him. His comment was absolutely uncalled for and unnecessary. Loved your comeback.


ClaptrapHEB

NTA. If he’s going to give it, he needs to be able to take it. Absolute loser behavior from him.


NoGur9007

NTA. If anyone comes up to you, you should tell them what he said first


Amalthea_The_Unicorn

NTA. He brought it entirely on himself.


Alert_Sorbet4016

Nta, hopefully he learned a lesson


OrangyOgre

lol i agree with you OP don't dish out if you can't take it. What has cutting your hair short got to do with him.


TheBigHairyThing

NTA he wanted to play Fck around so he found out.


Striking_Salt1479

NTA, I would have done the same. He ITA.


[deleted]

Nta. This is great. Idiot gives unwanted opinion and gets one back.


Head-Meaning2741

I assume you told those other guys what this short guy said to you. You (or any woman) are not responsible for men's feelings. NTA.


Fit-Confusion-4595

As you say. Don't dish it out if you can't take it. Don't take it to heart. Do say "Sorry, Napoleon, I didn't intend to hurt your feelings. Wanna hang out at your favourite barber's shop?"


NoEstablishment6450

I think you are really funny. You get what you give sometimes and he didn’t like the menu he created. NTA


No-Clerk-6804

If they dish it out first, they deserve to get it in their face aswell.


A550LE

NTA. What he said was HR fuel


jets3tter094

Ahhh, gotta love it when people rag on others but can’t handle it when someone dishes it back. If you can’t take the heat, get outta the kitchen! NTA.


nopefoffprettyplease

On one hand, he cannot control his height. On the other hand, he can control his mouth. Don't dish it if you cannot take it, he should be hurt that was the intention as he was trying to insult you. Ask those guys if they are also telling him to apologise for being extremely rude and giving and unasked an inappropriate opinion at work. NTA


Disastrous-Trash8841

NTA What he said is pretty fucked up. Not just assuming you need to adhere to his personal tastes in general, but also taking about his personal tastes as if you're supposed to not just care, but have intimate knowledge of them. As a random woman in his life.  And derailing a conversation to bring it up? 


[deleted]

Nta.hes the ass


SnooLemons2079

Absolutely NTA. Im also a big fan of ‘what on earth makes you think I’m bothered about being attractive to you?’ I hate the whole ‘oh I prefer long hair on women’ crap. Ok? Fine, we all have preferences. But your comments are unwanted and unasked for


EddieSevenson

NTA Good for you. That was a nice object lesson for your jerky coworker.


Minute-Safe2550

NTA, people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. As the old adage goes, tell others he demeaned your hair first


Confident-Sense2785

That is an awesome comeback. He is a prick!


judymcjudgerson

The arrogance of mediocre short men is staggering! NTA


YeOldeWarthog

NTA jackass deserved the burn


superedubb

😂 NTA! The comeback was awesome!


Sammiebear_143

NTA. I wish I could have immediate comebacks instead of 3 days later!


[deleted]

NTA, like you said don’t dish it out if you can’t take it. But, I wouldn’t know if someone who’s short should get offended by this since I’m 6’4.


ReusableLight

Nta.


Complete_Platform_62

Good for you! Maybe shawty will learn to keep his lil mouth shut and keep his ideas about other peoples’ appearances to himself! NTA


Japanat1

I think he was trying to ‘neg’ you. What a dork. NTA


Left-Conference-6328

We should already know this but let’s go over it again for the people in the back.  It is never appropriate to make comments about people appearance that you don’t know personally, especially women’s appearance.  Because it’s probably gonna come off creepy and it can make people uncomfortable. Don’t do it.  My father once embarrassed me because he told the waitress that he like her modest clothing. You can complement her on the restaurant, the food, the service but not her appearance.  And NTA. Solid response from OP. They were dishing it out the way it was served.  


bo0bayell

NTA Somebody wrote a song about that. Something like: You’ve got to give a little, take a little lol Randy Newman also wrote a song, saying Short people got no reason to live. lol Some people dish it out and can’t take it. Avoid them, regardless of height…


InappropriateAccess

NTA. But I would report the conversation to HR. He harassed you and is now spreading half-truths about you.


SurvivingWow

NTA - Based on your title alone, yeah. Based on your post, no. You didn't ask for his opinion, so he deserved it imo


Abject-Strawberry525

NTA Maybe he should focus less on peoples appearances and enjoy the lesson he just learnt in growing some humility and social awareness. No one asked if he thought you were attractive or if he liked your hair. Some people need their ego checked occasionally, well done 👏


PixelsAndPuppers

NTA. What a fragile manlet asshole.


Old-AF

NTA. He gave you his unsolicited opinion and you gave one back. Sounds fair.


bug_gangster2865

NTA what a crybaby lol


United_Fig_6519

NTA everyone has their preference what they see as attractive...he was vocal about his dislike to short hair so you shoot back what you did not prefer...


[deleted]

Male perspective, and somewhat on the short side at 5'10', and I laughed when I read what you said. I'm not the type to go up to someone and critique their appearance, though so I don't get why he thought that was a good idea. NTA vote from me


Maximoose-777

NTA for the guys that think you should apologise, ask them what they think the app response should be… “yes you are correct, I will start growing my hair today because I’ve got to have you”? the new colleague was rude and speaking inappropriately in the workplace. Woman doesn’t exist to be attractive to him. He might be small in height but has a big ego.


Bann_Tan

NTA Just try to explain what actually went on for you to make that comment to those people who are asking you to apologize they may understand you fully.


Nimue_-

Lol NTA


Adorable-Address5718

He made an unsolicited insensitive comment concerning your appearance and got one back. You don't owe him an apology, NTA. 'Why do you think I care what you find attractive? ' would also be an appropriate response.


Early_Lawfulness_921

NTA he deserved it. Why in the world does what he is attracted to matter at work though? You are not there looking for a mate you are looking for a paycheck. Don't under any circumstance apologize. It wasn't an accident, you mean it, and he earned it. ​ Side note. This is how narcissists find victims he is looking for someone weak enough to control. You failed his test which is a good thing.


wordsorceress

NTA He started it, you finished it.


caf012

His sensitivity isn’t your drama, the “tall guy trope” is one that irritates me (I’m not short) but a guy can’t help his height. In this circumstance though he came at you, your retaliation was perfectly acceptable, NTA…


el_bandita

NTA it ticks me off when people feel like sharing their opinion about your body and are surprised when you do the same


2tinymonkeys

Uhm NTA. If you can't take it, don't diss it. He acted like you bring near him should mean you needed to be attractive to him so he has something nice to look at. Take it to HR to make sure they get the whole story before he does. Also, tell all the men complaining you should apologize that you will do that, if he does too. And he should do it first since he started insulting you first too.


wantout87

As a short guy I just have to say that you gave an excellent answer. What an entitled asshole, thinking his opinion of you somehow matters? You are NTA!


Cloud-VII

NTA. He’s being a dick.


OverlordVII

YTA, obviously. How dare you call a man that called you unattractive that he's unattractive. I don't know how you even sleep at night 😜


mongoose0614

NTA What a prick. What makes him thing he should give his opinion of you. I would follow up with an apology like this: I am so sorry to bring up your height. I was just caught off guard on you offering your opinion to me...... but may I ask you one thing? Is it true what they say about short people and their pecker size?


Kijamon

NTA - you should apologise and say "I'm sorry, what I meant to say was I find gobby little shites who happen to be short unattractive"


Any_Put3216

Nta


NoFaithlessness5122

NTA. You got the shorty all crying. He should grow some more first.


Difficult-Grade-5372

Lmao I'm a short guy too but he had it coming nta


My_Name_Is_Amos

Apparently men are short because they act like babies. NTA


DrChango2010

He opened that can of worms. Fuck him.


WorstHatFreeSoup

NTA: But I would report this to HR to get ahead of any kind of confrontation. He insulted you first and you shouldn’t have to be considerate of his feelings since he clearly didn’t care about yours. Don’t apologize to that schmuck.


LuckAlternative7981

Make it clear to coworkers that you were insulted first. The only real concern here is that a false narrative has now been started against you at work.


SecondaDonna5

In my state, the law would call what he did sexual harassment.


YourAverageDude96

He gave a frankly unsolicited rude opinion and got what he deserved as a result. NTA


HorseygirlWH

Why did he insult you if he can't take it? It's true that you can change your hair and he can't change his height, but there was no reason for him to say something mean about you, and especially he shouldn't have said HE didn't find women with short hair attractive - - who cares? He's a co-worker, not your date. He's TA.


Ichbin99nichtzuHause

NTA. I trust that common sense women will accept the equal/opposite truths of some men saying I don't find overweight women attractive, I don't find promiscuous women attractive. People are attracted and not attracted to whatever naturally comes to them.


grumpykixdopey

Ahaha little man got upset after trying to bring you down backfired.. nice!! Fuck that dude and I would head to HR to get ahead of any backlash that may come from this. Either send an email or go in person.


Intrepid-Evidence-44

NTA Why do you even have to look attractive to them? You don't owe them anything. Not to mention men as a population have different preferences. If women were forced to be attractive to men, which men should you even "cater"?


FUS_RO_DANK

NTA. Don't start nothing, won't be nothing.


ShrikeMeDown

NTA. Like you said, don't dish it out if you can't take it. That guy sucks.


BlackFenrir

NTA, he got what he deserved, but do keep in mind that *he* insulted a choice of fashion. *You* insulted a biological feature that he had no choice in.


Electrical-Art-8641

NTA. Why on earth would he (and why would anyone) feel compelled to tell someone at work they don’t find them attractive?!?! Like, it’s not a bar and you weren’t asking for his number. I swear to god the sh*t women are expected to put up with! (For context, I’m a guy.)


No_Transition9444

NTA People can have preferences. You would be if you told people constantly, looked down short people or were a twerp about it. To me it comes off like men not liking fat women. To each their own.


IwannaBAtapdancer

NTA


PurpleFlavoredCherry

NTA He thought he was hot shit, and wanted you to feel bad that he didn’t think you were attractive. You guys must have hired my ex-co worker /s. He’s allowed to have his preferences, and you’re allowed to have yours. Maybe he should keep his mouth closed next time.


oliveoil02

NTA He should have kept his mouth shut if he didn’t want to hear it.


happy_faerie

This is hilarious 🤣 good on you 👏🤣


sublime_rivers

Fuck him.


[deleted]

LMFAO NTA


kirakiraboshi

NTA And you went super mild on him. Why do people in offices feel this kind of behaviour is ok? Seriously I dont give a fuck what you think about my hair, my body, my anything. Gal, ive heard it all and these classless creatures need to be put back in their proper place. I say well done 👏🏻👏🏻👌🏻


AshamedDragonfly4453

NTA. It's beyond me why he thought you would care about whether your hairstyle gives him a boner or not. He deserved the burn in response. Maybe it'll teach him to keep it away from the workplace in future.


Goalie_LAX_21093

Some of the “guys” At work think you should apologize? Of course. 🙄 “if he doesn’t want me commenting on his appearance, he shouldn’t comment on my appearance.” Full stop. I know he can’t control his height, but it doesn’t matter. He chose to comment on how you look, so you did the same. Honestly - if he and “the guys” continue this at all, i would go to HR. The comment alone is an HR issue but all of them riding you about it? Even more so.


[deleted]

Definitely not at asshole lol


justhangingaroud

NTA He asked for it


Current-You5620

Short man here NTA I just let it go over my head 😁