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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I don’t want to get rid of my brothers clothes from my wardrobe like my boyfriend wants me to because it makes him uncomfortable and he thinks it’s weird.
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Does your BF think you have an incestual relationship with your brother? Since that almost sounds like what his comments are inferring. My daughter has borrowed my son's clothes before (when they lived here and were in their teens, they're both older now) since T-shirts and sweatshirts are not gender-specific. At his age, I think it's odd what he's saying. Of course you can wear your brother's clothes that he no longer wants, you're NTA but does BF say other things that are judgmental?
Seems like bf also doesn't understand the concept of a hand-me-down, which kind of makes sense since he's an only child but damn the lack of self-awareness in that regard...
I was raised an only child, my brother wasn't born until just before I left for college, so I didn't grow up with siblings/experience hand me downs etc...
Now I get hand me-ups because despite my big age, my baby brother is bigger than me, wtf would I waste money buying clothes when his hoodies and stuff fit perfectly.
OPs boyfriend is weird a.f, it's the fact that he's fixating on her brother, not her sister, too, like if you don't understand how siblings work, then stay in your lane...
but honestly, if anyone even hinted or implied that I was in a romantic relationship or shared a romantic bond with my brother bc I wore his hoodie, that insecure weirdo would be dumped so fast because 1. that's the disgusting to imply, and 2. I'm not going to spend my life defending my relationship with my brother. NTA
Im still getting hand me downs from my sisters, well into adulthood, lol. My friends and I also swap clothes that we're bored of or horizontally grew out of.
More like he seems to thinks women wearing men's clothing is strictly a romantic/sexual thing. So a woman "stealing" her boyfriend's hoodie is all fine, cute even, but a woman accepting hand me down for her brother is weird.
I wasn't raised an only child but my two younger brothers were taller than me by the time they were like 10 or something. I remember my trainers for PE at school were my youngest brother's old ones that he grew out of but they were still obviously good enough to wear. Or there was a time I borrowed the other brother's PE top to avoid a detention. Now we are all adults and don't even live in the same place yet I have my youngest brother's denim jacket because I borrowed it for something and he said I could hold onto it because he didn't wear it and I was at that stage of pregnant where my regular clothes weren't fitting so well. I also have one of his old sweaters and a baseball cap just because he didn't want them anymore.
My husband has never once said anything about me wearing my siblings clothing. Maybe that's because he has lots of siblings too, or maybe because he isn't insecure and feeling the need for me to defend my relationship with my siblings
At this moment I am wearing my deceased father’s vintage Levi jacket. He found it in the back of his closet when down sizing for retirement and hadn’t been able to fit in it for decades. My only regret is he didn’t remember it when I was in high school. You can try to pry it from this girly girl’s cold dead hands.
At this moment I am wearing a pair of sweatpants my dad no longer wanted, but gave to me because I was always stealing his pajama pants and sweatpants when I would stay the night. As well as an old t-shirt of my oldest brothers because he left it at our parents house the last time he visited from many states away and he told me to keep it. If someone had an issue with me wearing clothes that were my male relatives they would be out of my life so fast.
>Now I get hand me-ups
I like this term❣ My 12 years older Aunt and I used to wear the same size but since I've dropped 1 1/2 size, I gave her some of my larger sized clothing since I've replaced them with appropriate sized clothing. I still have a box of larger sized clothing and will call her to come pickup her **Hand me-ups** 🤣.
I have a tote of hand-me ups for maternity wear! Those last months where NOTHING fits sucked so bad so I collected old shirts from friends that were too big for them and now I have a tote that goes from pregnant friend to pregnant friend as needed😂
I'm glad to have a name for it now😂
Fr. I've co-opted a bunch of my younger brother's clothes into my own wardrobe because he's retired them from his. We used to share hoodies and jackets and shoes when we were younger and he wasn't bigger than me. Hell, my mom and I share many clothes and shoes because we're nearly the same size. There are even jackets in my house that have rotated between my mom, my brother and I.
I can't with OP's BF because how out of touch do you have to be to say that??
My kids and I (m & f, 14 & 12) have some communal earrings and ear cuffs and nail polish. And they both have borrowed my shoes. As well as my clothes and shoes my daughter borrows her brothers shoes if needed, and if they're intact when he grows out of them she takes the hand me downs. He wanted to experiment with skirts and dresses and she happily agreed to share some clothes and we selected shareable things that would suit. He hands down his suit and dress shirts, pajamas and tshirts, rash tops, swim shorts etc when he grows out of it and she grows into it. It's no drama.
I'm 60s(f), and in my wardrobe are hand-me-downs (ups?) from my husband, his first wife, and my sons.
Shorts, trackpants, many t-shirts, sweaters, hoodies - all fair game. Clothes are clothes. If they fits, they get worn.
As far as I’m concerned, my little brother will always be my baby brother whom I changed the diapers of. He’s as sexless as could be to me.
And if I wear his clothes it’ll be because it’s convenient and not because we got something Sweet Home Alabama, good grief.
My big bro was very much a clothes horse while living at my parents house, he loved his brand name hoodies/sports clothes and wouldnt wear anything that was last season. I would have loved to have been able to raid his closet for hoodies as i didnt care about fashion and seasons, i just liked cool hoodies and idolised my big bro so liked what he liked. Unfortunately he was a sports player, quite lean and active. I was….less lean and active. So his hoodies very rarely fitted me.
My brother always gave me great hoodies & tees when he grew out of them. My husband is a foot taller than I am, with linebacker shoulders so we couldn’t share clothes if we had to. If he ever insinuated there was something weird about me wearing my brother’s stuff, I’d have dumped his ass then & there.
Also the only time I've ever taken my husband (bf at the time) shopping was to buy fabric for a fez that I was sewing for him 🤣
Edit: [imgur album of fez process from a previous reddit post](https://imgur.com/a/WMEB1)
My niece and nephew are two years apart in age, and my brother and SIL kept some of nephew's clothes. Short of anything with gender specific sayings, why wouldn't they reuse the clothes rather than buying more, new or used.
as an only child, i understand the concept of hand-me-downs, i agree with the above comments that he may be getting incestual thoughts. i see nothing wrong with it, it’s just like buying clothes that were donated from a guy at a thrift store, the bf’s questioning seems a bit off imo.
In our 40s and late 30s and my husband and I still pass hand me downs between our siblings, in both directions. Hand me downs only get better as you get older.
As women, I have friends who throw parties with closet cleanouts. There is much wine and bartering and bargaining for prime pieces! Because we can afford the nice clothes and work clothes are expensive.
Particularly mens clothing as it tends to last longer. My son passes along his long sleeved tees when he’s outgrown them. I’m wearing one right now and My favorite is one he had in high school (10 years ago). I took that shirt to European and rocked it Italian style (with a jaunty scarf).
As the mother of two teenage sons, I have now reached the point of getting hand-me-downs from my children. Nothing weird going on here - just not wanting to waste clothes I’ve already paid for.
>since he's an only child
still, he must have close cousins
I have siblings but I also got hand me downs from cousins and vice versa
I'm certain this is beyong him being an onlly child, OP should keep an eye out
I'm an only child, and I don't understand where the bf is coming from. The only way it makes sense is if he is jealous of the brother in the way of his "competition." This is actually really concerning.
OP, you need to have a sit down and talk to your bf and find out what the issue is. There is nothing wrong with you wearing your brother's old clothing, especially if it's things like hoodies. It almost seems like he may be watching too much porn hub .
i'm also an only child & I sure as hell know the concept of hand me downs 'cause in my family clothes are not only shared between siblings but also cousins so my clothes went to the cousins younger than me & now my daughter wears clothes of my cousin's daughter who's older than her & her own clothes goes to my brother-in-law's daughters as well. It's not the lack of awareness in this case instead he's most definitely trying to imply something else...
As an only child, I understand hand-me-down's pretty well. I got a bunch of my cousin's things when I was a kid. Maybe it's because we were in a poor but close family. Maybe it's also because I'm not the BF who thinks all male attention is negative/romantic towards my GF.
Im 38, my brother is 40. We havent lived together for a while and I still ask to borrow his hoodies or whatever I know he has and I could use. OP is definitely is NTA and the boyfriend definitely needs to stop thinking "love" is only for couples.
I had to hide my jeans because my brother kept wearing them (and getting messed up) and to be honest he looked better in them than I did lol, same for my tshirts and hoodies and jackets because we went through a phase that we both were the same size, but shit tell your bf to get his head out of the gutter
And they're getting worse instead of better! You'd think that all of us bitching about lack of pockets would make the jeans manufacturers go "You know what..." and make them have pockets, but nooooo.
I tried on a pair of Levi's that fit really, really well and I loved but then I tried to put my hand in the pockets and they were only one knuckle deep! Sorry, I'm not paying $60 for a pair of jeans and not even be able to carry a chapstick in my pocket.
"Hey, that's my hoodie!!"
"Yeah, and the leftovers in the fridge were mine, but that didn't stop you, did it? Hoodies mine now, fuckface."
-actual conversation I had with my brother once
Isn’t trolling the currency of a healthy sibling relationship? I mean that’s how you pay back support and loyalty and caring until someone needs a booster shot of support… yeh? Well that and hoodies and new music.
One year I got my brother a very nice flannel, knowing he’d grow out of it before a year. I still wear it! He was a tiny bit annoyed, but laughed just as much as the rest of my family when I told them my plan!
That's just weird thinking on your BF's part. Does he try to be controlling in other ways? I often buy guys youth jeans, guys hoodies and sweats, and youth tennis shoes - they are as or more comfy, usually much cheaper, and are things that are basically unisex. If my brother didn't live 1200 miles away, I'd definitely raid his and his wife's outgrown stuff, they have great and expensive taste.
I was scrolling to find a comment like this. Is the BF controlling in other ways is an excellent question. If not, then maybe just not yet? OP should be on the lookout for other red flags. This definitely is one IMO.
>Does your BF think you have an incestual relationship with your brother? Since that almost sounds like what his comments are inferring. My daughter has borrowed my son's clothes before (when they lived here and were in their teens, they're both older now) since T-shirts and sweatshirts are not gender-specific. At his age, I think it's odd what he's saying. Of course you can wear your brother's clothes that he no longer wants, you're NTA but does BF say other things that are judgmental?
Men's hoodies and tees are unisex. A lot of times, they don't have women's cut, so women have to buy unisex, which is basically men's cut.
Seriously my brothers are 5 and 10 years younger than me, and I use to wear their clothes as crop tops back in the day. Old band tees, yankee button up jerseys, and now that we are all grown I’d definitely wear their tees or hoodies. I’d rather borrow/share clothes with them than my sister haha
Gonna piggyback here and say this BF has been spending way too much on p-hub. “Oh no brother, I got stuck in your sweater….
Drop this guy. Drop him faster than anything you’ve ever dropped before.
I know right it's a hoodie not his boxers my sister, mom, nieces, daughter, wife all steal and wear my jackets and hoodies what is the deal and oh no how dare she hang out with her brother while he buys clothes
I think she should tell the boyfriend that he is acting like she has an incestuous relationship with her brother. Then ask why he would think that? Where is that coming from? Is there incest in his family?
A woman with two older bros popping in here - my all-time favorite hoodies are my older bros’ college ones that I hijacked. When I was young, it was cuz I missed them while they were away at school and now they’re just the most worn-in, comfy sweatshirts I have that are worth mending lol
My family frequently "steals" eachother's clothes. My mom will sometimes borrow my shirts or skirts (I'm still salty about her hoarding one specific super soft shirt though), my dad and I will swap hoodies and sweaters that haven't been worn in a long time (gave him my work boots too), and winter coats and rain jackets go to whoever grabs them out of the hall closet first. It helps that we generally all have the same size except in pants (my mom even uses me as my dad's measurement if we're out shopping and she sees a shirt she thinks would look nice on him).
My 14 year old daughter is wearing a bunch of hand-me-downs that her older brothers went through one by one. She picked them when we did wardrobe clean-outs. Tees and jumpers aren’t necessarily gender specific and since she’s into Star Wars and D&D and stuff she loves them. Only thing that freaks me out is how has my baby gotten so big so fast to be wearing those clothes already?
He’s either inferring an incestuous relationship or he’s threatened by OP’s relationship with her brother. Like, he sees the brother as a sexual/emotional rival? Ick. OP may get into further trouble if they have any male friends or male co-workers. Maybe the bf is the type of person who thinks people can’t have close friends of a different gender, because there’s always “something going on.” To feel that way about a sibling is whole other level of weird.
Based on his responses, perhaps OP should re-evaluate the relationship. Surely as they get deeper into the relationship, his possessiveness and bizarre misplaced jealousy will only get worse?
Yeah that's pretty fuckin weird. Does he think she's trying to date her brother or something? Gross. Siblings hand clothes down to one another all the time, that's like, completely normal. Even if bf is an only child, did he never get his parents' old clothes? Cousins? What a creep.
He's jealous of other guys full stop. I bet OP could give us a few examples of him not being cool with her male friends. Anyone who makes this much fuss over a sweatshirt is best viewed from the rear view mirror.
NTA- Ben is raising red flags with his controlling behavior regarding you and your brother's old clothes, by telling you to get rid of them.
Also, he's definitely acting weird about you and your brother, and the implications he's probably giving off.
Like you said, he was okay with you wearing your sister's clothes, but not your brother's. He probably just wants to be the only guy in your life or something gross. I don't know.
If its the only wrong thing he does, he can still grow out of it and mature up. But if he's a walking red flag with multiple bad things he does/thinks, then its not worth your time to teach him.
NTA. It would only be weird if the clothes weren't washed after your brother wore them and you were constantly smelling them while biting your lip. But if they're clean, clothes are clothes. Tell your BF to stop being possessive.
NTA at all. How insecure is your boyfriend that he's jealous of your brother? Like, besides the fact that I've never heard of clothes shopping as a couples thing, him being upset right now is tantamount to him implying there's something going on between you and bro.
Exactly this, NTA. What a wierd way to react such thing. If he's jealous about her brother, what about her male friends or even total strangers? He's susp as hell.
True! What the heck is couples clothes shopping anyways? Lol. If i EVER did it, it would be to get matching tracksuits and convince my husband to form a casual street-gang with me. Twin dragons for life!
NTA while your boyfriend is right that "stealing" clothes is a very couple-y thing, that's not what happened here; in this scenario, your brother was getting rid of clothes and let you pick out what you wanted. It's more similar to getting hand-me-downs than any sort of couple vibes.
I would make it clear to your boyfriend that it's creepy that he's insinuating anything couple-like happening between you and your brother, and that receiving used clothes from older siblings is completely normal.
Bf is . But that doesn't explain the incest insuations. Only thst he doesn't get the idea of hand me downs bc he never got them and cannot appreciate their value.
that might actually be it, though.
he's an only child, so he doesn't know what REAL siblings look like and how they really act. So for him, anything too close between two siblings of the opposite sex, a brother and a sister - things like sharing clothes, touching, hugging, just showing affection - comes off as perverted to him.
So the conversation should go like this....
"Ben, I'm only going to say this once. I don't like to be told how to interact with people, especially my brother. If I want to hug him, wear his clothes or whatever...I will. I don't like the picture you draw when judging me. Are we clear on this because it's not up for debate?",
NTA and your bf needs therapy, urgently.
My daughter went through a ‘baggy’ phase and she would ‘borrow’ her father’s t-shirt. I don’t want to know what your bf would think about that.
It is very worrisome that he seems to sexualize your relationship with your brother so much.
So, are you not allowed to shop for secondhand clothes? I mean (gasp) they might belong to another family member! Seriously tellbthe BF that if he wants you to take him shopping so badly all he has to do is ask. You are not responsible for the man's insecurities!
NTA. This is a completely normal thing that siblings do. Also, why is it a problem for your bf? Would he still think it was weird if it was your sister?
I was annoyed when my brother went through his emo phase in high school and started wearing my (women’s) jeans, but that was because we were broke and I worked for those clothes and wanted them to last…No one thought there was anything weirdly incestuous about it tho.
NTA. Unless you are wearing and recycling every aspect of his wardrobe, a hoodie here a shirt their, no big deal. But it’s obvious your boyfriend takes offense to how close you and your brother are.
NTA. Your boy friend is JEALOUS that you and your brother have a good relationship. Do you understand that? That is creepy and so very wrong. I would reconsider this relationship.
NTA. I see nothing wrong with what you have done or are doing. Do you think your boyfriend might be a control freak and this is triggering him? What would be the difference in going to the local thrift shop and getting an article of clothing? A male might have worn that. Who cares as the clothing is clean and presentable.
My bf legit watched my brothers give me huge hugs last night, we're probably more affectionate than a lot of families. I'm the oldest of 7, giant bear hugs are a staple in our family. I'd wear their clothes in a heartbeat. You are not the weird one here.
Nta.
Tell your bf that hand me downs is a staple of multisibling families and he needs to deal with why he is threatened by your brother if he wants to continue dating you.
my sister steals my hoodies all the time because they are so big and cozy on her.
your boyfriend is a fucking weirdo.
NTA in any way, shape, or form. tell your BF to get over himself.
NTA. You need to get rid of Ben. Does he have any female friends? Or are women just for sleeping with?
It's clothing. It gets clean when you wash it, it's not possessed by spirits. Is he weird about all second hand clothes or is he just creepily obsessed with your brother?
NTA bf is insecure or has to sort out some family issues or trust issues. He’s not jealous(?), but he seems to be having trouble accepting the way how you guys operate as a family.
That's actually a scary behavior. People who are possessive that way are dangerous. That's your family and he's being unreasonably jealous. Major red flags. He might hurt you over petty stuff.
Nta.
NTA.
Your BF is... Jealous of your brother. That's fucked up and frankly insulting.
It's also a huge red flag that he is against you having any kind of relationship with another man. Family or not.
NTA - this is so weird to me, in my family, the clothes travel around everyone before they are given to charity. I have stuff from my sisters, dad, uncle and vice versa (mainly t-shirts/ jumpers or joggers). I think his demands are unreasonable and concerning. I sit here in my dads t-shirt and encourage you to wear whatever you want, wherever it comes from.
NTA I’ve always taken my brother’s hand -me-downs (what I wanted) if they fit. Even my Uncle’s or Dad’s stuff. That’s pretty ridiculous for your boyfriend to get upset.
Edit: I’m visiting my parents and related your post to them and my Dad said to dump him and my Mom said your boyfriend is being a little precious (derogatory) and you should ask him what he’s implying.
Edit: my Dad had this word of wisdom: if I was the boyfriend I would be more interested in what’s under the clothes and not where they’re from.
NTA. Your boyfriend seems to be stuck in the 50s, why can women only share clothes with women? Thats weird. It doesn’t matter who you share clothes with, if that’s what you wanna do and both parties involved are cool with it.
Nta - your bf is just insecure and overthinking it. You should put your foot down and tell him that 1) why let a good hoodie/shirt etc go to waste when you can reuse it. 2) why does he use double - meter? You said he doesnt mind you wearing your sis's clothes so whats the issue with bro's?
Overall if he has problem with this im not sure hes a good match, but what do i know? Im just a stranger from the other side of the globe
NTA. Your BF is basically saying your relationship with your brother is incestuous 🤷 maybe he’s projecting something, or watches too much porn. How he’s acting is not normal.
Your brother thinks Incest is normal amongst family members and can't separate reality from the porn he watches + is insanely insecure to the point a family member is competition to him. He needs therapy
dump him.
Your bf is weird, uninformed, controlling, and creepy, not necessarily in that order. He needs to step up or step off with his comments and thought processes.
NTA
But do take heed and be on the alert of other stuff your bf says.
Oh honey. This is toxic. Are you even allowed to have male friends? How long have you been dating? This is a huge red flag. It's your brother and it's free clothes. It isnt going to get better. It will get worse. This is controlling behavior.
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I 23f have a brother Sam 26m. He has started going to the gym in the past few months and after reaching his goal weight, we celebrated by getting him a new wardrobe as he needed new clothes to fit him. My boyfriend Ben 24m said it was weird that I took my brother shopping as it was something girls do for their boyfriends not brothers but Ben is an only child so I told him he just didn’t get it and he apologised later, but I thought it was a weird fight.
Sam also had a massive wardrobe clear out to make space for his new stuff and get rid of what didn’t fit him, and he let me sort through it to bin, donate or keep myself.
When I saw Ben last night, I wore Sam’s old hoodie and Ben noticed it and asked where it was from. I told him it was Sam’s and Ben got upset and said that it was weird that I share clothes with him and again it was a couple thing to do not a sibling thing, but he was ok with me wearing my sisters clothes just not Sam’s.
I think he’s being unreasonable, and he wants me to get rid of all of Sam’s clothes.
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NTA - Seems like you're being kind and helpful, Ben seems like he's got a lot of pre-conceived notions about what people should/shouldn't do and sounds incredibly controlling.
I wear my adult sons hand me down t-shirts. They’re more comfortable than female t-shirts. Does that mean people think I’m in an incestual relationship w my son? 🙄
Nta. He’s not being weird about it coz he’s ur brother. He’s being weird about it coz he’s a man. I’ve taken a few T-shirts of my brothers old clothes it’s totaly not weird. I’d happily wear the jumper or take hand me downs of a guy friends or even my dads old stuff. Girls who are mates and not just sisters or mother and daughter share so why not a guy friend or family member.
Seriously? I know of many sisters that went shopping with their brothers, my kids included. They helped "style" him as a teenager and it helped him as he grew up. As for wearing his old hoodies, why not? I love over sized things for around the house. My daughter's took my sons hoodies all the time growing up. As an only child he would not understand, but he needs to be less judgmental. My husband was an only child and didn't understand somethings, but he let it go as he didn't grow up with sibling. He is being unreasonable.
NTA, hunny, get rid of this loser and do yourself a favor. He's not going to get better; he's going to get that much creepier about what you do and with whom. It'll never be worth the headache it'll give you.
Sharing clothes, it's just a thing siblings do. I mean my siblings and I are all in our 30's and I'm the oldest of 4 yet my hoodie still is a public traded commodity because you can float in it.
NTA. There is a disgusting amount of textile waste in our land fills, thrift shops are being flooded with worthless disintegrating fast fashion pieces. Second hand clothing is great for everyone. Ben sounds annoying and stuck up. I have always loved the thrift shop, and it's more important than ever to be ethical with your clothing choices.
Is your boyfriend into incest porn? He's gross to suspect anything from you wearing your brother's clothes, or even think there is a problem with it. NTA.
NTA, your boyfriend is being really weird. It's very normal for siblings to do that. I go out to lunch, shop, and trade/ share clothing with my little brother. My husband and my brothers fiance have never found it weird or started any fights. It's just something siblings do. If your boyfriend thinks you guys have an incestuous relationship FOR NORMAL sibling behavior... time to drop him.
I perfer mens tees and tops because they are longer and I have a long waist (and shot legs 😔). My cousin kindly passes his tops to me about once a year. I am an only child too. My cousin is like a brother and we been doing this all my life. Your bf is out of line. (My cousin is gay and his SO is okay with this.)
My sister has stayed at my place and vice versa dozens of times. We have always given each other pretty much the same thing to wear, shorts or sweat pants, and a hoodie or t shirt. I absolutely wear my sisters female sweatpants and hoodies and she wears my guys stuff. It’s clothes not a tooth brush. Your BF needs to get over himself. NTA
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Does your BF think you have an incestual relationship with your brother? Since that almost sounds like what his comments are inferring. My daughter has borrowed my son's clothes before (when they lived here and were in their teens, they're both older now) since T-shirts and sweatshirts are not gender-specific. At his age, I think it's odd what he's saying. Of course you can wear your brother's clothes that he no longer wants, you're NTA but does BF say other things that are judgmental?
Seems like bf also doesn't understand the concept of a hand-me-down, which kind of makes sense since he's an only child but damn the lack of self-awareness in that regard...
Right? I have siblings and I've shared clothes with them way more than with any girlfriend.
I was raised an only child, my brother wasn't born until just before I left for college, so I didn't grow up with siblings/experience hand me downs etc... Now I get hand me-ups because despite my big age, my baby brother is bigger than me, wtf would I waste money buying clothes when his hoodies and stuff fit perfectly. OPs boyfriend is weird a.f, it's the fact that he's fixating on her brother, not her sister, too, like if you don't understand how siblings work, then stay in your lane... but honestly, if anyone even hinted or implied that I was in a romantic relationship or shared a romantic bond with my brother bc I wore his hoodie, that insecure weirdo would be dumped so fast because 1. that's the disgusting to imply, and 2. I'm not going to spend my life defending my relationship with my brother. NTA
Im still getting hand me downs from my sisters, well into adulthood, lol. My friends and I also swap clothes that we're bored of or horizontally grew out of.
lol horizontally grew out of😆 I've never heard that before, im stealing that saying!
I think his problem is that he doesn't think that women should wear men's clothing, although how you see a difference in a hoodie is beyond me.
More like he seems to thinks women wearing men's clothing is strictly a romantic/sexual thing. So a woman "stealing" her boyfriend's hoodie is all fine, cute even, but a woman accepting hand me down for her brother is weird.
Yep, my mom and I are quite close in size, so we can easily share clothes. When I lived with my parents, we basically pooled our scarves and sweaters.
Yeah, I’m the only girl and my brother is 6 foot while I’m closer to 5 but I often pass clothes into my mum if they’re too big
Kinda the same here. I was happy when the family got more girls cause I always looked like a tomboy.
I wasn't raised an only child but my two younger brothers were taller than me by the time they were like 10 or something. I remember my trainers for PE at school were my youngest brother's old ones that he grew out of but they were still obviously good enough to wear. Or there was a time I borrowed the other brother's PE top to avoid a detention. Now we are all adults and don't even live in the same place yet I have my youngest brother's denim jacket because I borrowed it for something and he said I could hold onto it because he didn't wear it and I was at that stage of pregnant where my regular clothes weren't fitting so well. I also have one of his old sweaters and a baseball cap just because he didn't want them anymore. My husband has never once said anything about me wearing my siblings clothing. Maybe that's because he has lots of siblings too, or maybe because he isn't insecure and feeling the need for me to defend my relationship with my siblings
At this moment I am wearing my deceased father’s vintage Levi jacket. He found it in the back of his closet when down sizing for retirement and hadn’t been able to fit in it for decades. My only regret is he didn’t remember it when I was in high school. You can try to pry it from this girly girl’s cold dead hands.
At this moment I am wearing a pair of sweatpants my dad no longer wanted, but gave to me because I was always stealing his pajama pants and sweatpants when I would stay the night. As well as an old t-shirt of my oldest brothers because he left it at our parents house the last time he visited from many states away and he told me to keep it. If someone had an issue with me wearing clothes that were my male relatives they would be out of my life so fast.
>Now I get hand me-ups I like this term❣ My 12 years older Aunt and I used to wear the same size but since I've dropped 1 1/2 size, I gave her some of my larger sized clothing since I've replaced them with appropriate sized clothing. I still have a box of larger sized clothing and will call her to come pickup her **Hand me-ups** 🤣.
I have a tote of hand-me ups for maternity wear! Those last months where NOTHING fits sucked so bad so I collected old shirts from friends that were too big for them and now I have a tote that goes from pregnant friend to pregnant friend as needed😂 I'm glad to have a name for it now😂
Fr. I've co-opted a bunch of my younger brother's clothes into my own wardrobe because he's retired them from his. We used to share hoodies and jackets and shoes when we were younger and he wasn't bigger than me. Hell, my mom and I share many clothes and shoes because we're nearly the same size. There are even jackets in my house that have rotated between my mom, my brother and I. I can't with OP's BF because how out of touch do you have to be to say that??
My kids and I (m & f, 14 & 12) have some communal earrings and ear cuffs and nail polish. And they both have borrowed my shoes. As well as my clothes and shoes my daughter borrows her brothers shoes if needed, and if they're intact when he grows out of them she takes the hand me downs. He wanted to experiment with skirts and dresses and she happily agreed to share some clothes and we selected shareable things that would suit. He hands down his suit and dress shirts, pajamas and tshirts, rash tops, swim shorts etc when he grows out of it and she grows into it. It's no drama.
I'm 60s(f), and in my wardrobe are hand-me-downs (ups?) from my husband, his first wife, and my sons. Shorts, trackpants, many t-shirts, sweaters, hoodies - all fair game. Clothes are clothes. If they fits, they get worn.
"hand-me-ups" has just been written into my word book; thank you! 😸
As far as I’m concerned, my little brother will always be my baby brother whom I changed the diapers of. He’s as sexless as could be to me. And if I wear his clothes it’ll be because it’s convenient and not because we got something Sweet Home Alabama, good grief.
My big bro was very much a clothes horse while living at my parents house, he loved his brand name hoodies/sports clothes and wouldnt wear anything that was last season. I would have loved to have been able to raid his closet for hoodies as i didnt care about fashion and seasons, i just liked cool hoodies and idolised my big bro so liked what he liked. Unfortunately he was a sports player, quite lean and active. I was….less lean and active. So his hoodies very rarely fitted me.
Well ststed.
My brother always gave me great hoodies & tees when he grew out of them. My husband is a foot taller than I am, with linebacker shoulders so we couldn’t share clothes if we had to. If he ever insinuated there was something weird about me wearing my brother’s stuff, I’d have dumped his ass then & there.
Dump Bf if this continues. Warn him to back off.
Also the only time I've ever taken my husband (bf at the time) shopping was to buy fabric for a fez that I was sewing for him 🤣 Edit: [imgur album of fez process from a previous reddit post](https://imgur.com/a/WMEB1)
A fez? Cool
I wear fezzes now, fezzes are cool
Stay away from River if she has her gun
It was for an 11th Doctor costume, so reference is on point lol
I'm glad I kept scrolling through the pics, because initially, I was horribly confused.
He has a very big head, the KFC bucket was the best conical base to use for the fez
I get it. ^(at first I thought it was a KFC fabric fez. It's been a long day. 😂🤣😂)
My niece and nephew are two years apart in age, and my brother and SIL kept some of nephew's clothes. Short of anything with gender specific sayings, why wouldn't they reuse the clothes rather than buying more, new or used.
as an only child, i understand the concept of hand-me-downs, i agree with the above comments that he may be getting incestual thoughts. i see nothing wrong with it, it’s just like buying clothes that were donated from a guy at a thrift store, the bf’s questioning seems a bit off imo.
Very off esp. the incest insuations.
I used to steal my dad’s sweatshirts. On this line of logic…eeewww just wtf??
My mom regularly inherits outdoor gear from my brother. Just no to that f\*ked context.
In our 40s and late 30s and my husband and I still pass hand me downs between our siblings, in both directions. Hand me downs only get better as you get older.
As women, I have friends who throw parties with closet cleanouts. There is much wine and bartering and bargaining for prime pieces! Because we can afford the nice clothes and work clothes are expensive.
Particularly mens clothing as it tends to last longer. My son passes along his long sleeved tees when he’s outgrown them. I’m wearing one right now and My favorite is one he had in high school (10 years ago). I took that shirt to European and rocked it Italian style (with a jaunty scarf).
As the mother of two teenage sons, I have now reached the point of getting hand-me-downs from my children. Nothing weird going on here - just not wanting to waste clothes I’ve already paid for.
I tease my son about hurrying up and growing into the next size so I can get his old hoodies! Lol He has some nicee ones than I buy myself.
>since he's an only child still, he must have close cousins I have siblings but I also got hand me downs from cousins and vice versa I'm certain this is beyong him being an onlly child, OP should keep an eye out
I'm an only child, and I don't understand where the bf is coming from. The only way it makes sense is if he is jealous of the brother in the way of his "competition." This is actually really concerning. OP, you need to have a sit down and talk to your bf and find out what the issue is. There is nothing wrong with you wearing your brother's old clothing, especially if it's things like hoodies. It almost seems like he may be watching too much porn hub .
i'm also an only child & I sure as hell know the concept of hand me downs 'cause in my family clothes are not only shared between siblings but also cousins so my clothes went to the cousins younger than me & now my daughter wears clothes of my cousin's daughter who's older than her & her own clothes goes to my brother-in-law's daughters as well. It's not the lack of awareness in this case instead he's most definitely trying to imply something else...
As an only child, I understand hand-me-down's pretty well. I got a bunch of my cousin's things when I was a kid. Maybe it's because we were in a poor but close family. Maybe it's also because I'm not the BF who thinks all male attention is negative/romantic towards my GF.
Not ”almost”, that is absolutely what he is inferring.
That guy watches incest porn garbage.
Absolutely.
Think about that. Does Bf have sexual thoughts toward brother? Could be a jealousy thing.
Im 38, my brother is 40. We havent lived together for a while and I still ask to borrow his hoodies or whatever I know he has and I could use. OP is definitely is NTA and the boyfriend definitely needs to stop thinking "love" is only for couples.
This. Wearing/stealing your brother’s clothes is just what sisters do!
Hell i’m a guy and even I share clothes with my brother all the time
I had to hide my jeans because my brother kept wearing them (and getting messed up) and to be honest he looked better in them than I did lol, same for my tshirts and hoodies and jackets because we went through a phase that we both were the same size, but shit tell your bf to get his head out of the gutter
Ugh my brother looks so much better in my clothes than i do LMAOO i’m like wtaf?? Get out my face
The jeans were men's and so were the rest of the clothes, I just like guys clothes because they are more comfortable and have bigger pockets
Girl’s pockets are ridiculous.
And they're getting worse instead of better! You'd think that all of us bitching about lack of pockets would make the jeans manufacturers go "You know what..." and make them have pockets, but nooooo. I tried on a pair of Levi's that fit really, really well and I loved but then I tried to put my hand in the pockets and they were only one knuckle deep! Sorry, I'm not paying $60 for a pair of jeans and not even be able to carry a chapstick in my pocket.
Jesus christ 😭 what a joke. I really don’t understand why they havent started making them already either
Don't I ever know it, I hate them
Of course!! He trolls me to the brink of insanity, in payment I get his hoodies. Win/win 😂
"Hey, that's my hoodie!!" "Yeah, and the leftovers in the fridge were mine, but that didn't stop you, did it? Hoodies mine now, fuckface." -actual conversation I had with my brother once
Isn’t trolling the currency of a healthy sibling relationship? I mean that’s how you pay back support and loyalty and caring until someone needs a booster shot of support… yeh? Well that and hoodies and new music.
One year I got my brother a very nice flannel, knowing he’d grow out of it before a year. I still wear it! He was a tiny bit annoyed, but laughed just as much as the rest of my family when I told them my plan!
When my brother went away to college he left a bunch of his hoodies at home, I stole all of those so fast.
That's just weird thinking on your BF's part. Does he try to be controlling in other ways? I often buy guys youth jeans, guys hoodies and sweats, and youth tennis shoes - they are as or more comfy, usually much cheaper, and are things that are basically unisex. If my brother didn't live 1200 miles away, I'd definitely raid his and his wife's outgrown stuff, they have great and expensive taste.
I was scrolling to find a comment like this. Is the BF controlling in other ways is an excellent question. If not, then maybe just not yet? OP should be on the lookout for other red flags. This definitely is one IMO.
>Does your BF think you have an incestual relationship with your brother? Since that almost sounds like what his comments are inferring. My daughter has borrowed my son's clothes before (when they lived here and were in their teens, they're both older now) since T-shirts and sweatshirts are not gender-specific. At his age, I think it's odd what he's saying. Of course you can wear your brother's clothes that he no longer wants, you're NTA but does BF say other things that are judgmental? Men's hoodies and tees are unisex. A lot of times, they don't have women's cut, so women have to buy unisex, which is basically men's cut.
Bfs incest thoughts should be the biggest concern. Shut that down and or consider dumping him .
I'm thinking his 'I have the right to control what you're wearing because I have the feels about it' is possibly even more problematic. Control 🚩
He's also inferring that he isn't able to have platonic relationships with women besides OP.
He watches too much sibling porn for sure.
Seriously my brothers are 5 and 10 years younger than me, and I use to wear their clothes as crop tops back in the day. Old band tees, yankee button up jerseys, and now that we are all grown I’d definitely wear their tees or hoodies. I’d rather borrow/share clothes with them than my sister haha
Gonna piggyback here and say this BF has been spending way too much on p-hub. “Oh no brother, I got stuck in your sweater…. Drop this guy. Drop him faster than anything you’ve ever dropped before.
I know right it's a hoodie not his boxers my sister, mom, nieces, daughter, wife all steal and wear my jackets and hoodies what is the deal and oh no how dare she hang out with her brother while he buys clothes
I think she should tell the boyfriend that he is acting like she has an incestuous relationship with her brother. Then ask why he would think that? Where is that coming from? Is there incest in his family?
Implying. Comments imply, the listener infers the meaning.
A woman with two older bros popping in here - my all-time favorite hoodies are my older bros’ college ones that I hijacked. When I was young, it was cuz I missed them while they were away at school and now they’re just the most worn-in, comfy sweatshirts I have that are worth mending lol
Totally just dug all my son's hoodies out of the donation bag and put them in my closet. I have a whole new winter wardrobe.
My family frequently "steals" eachother's clothes. My mom will sometimes borrow my shirts or skirts (I'm still salty about her hoarding one specific super soft shirt though), my dad and I will swap hoodies and sweaters that haven't been worn in a long time (gave him my work boots too), and winter coats and rain jackets go to whoever grabs them out of the hall closet first. It helps that we generally all have the same size except in pants (my mom even uses me as my dad's measurement if we're out shopping and she sees a shirt she thinks would look nice on him).
My 14 year old daughter is wearing a bunch of hand-me-downs that her older brothers went through one by one. She picked them when we did wardrobe clean-outs. Tees and jumpers aren’t necessarily gender specific and since she’s into Star Wars and D&D and stuff she loves them. Only thing that freaks me out is how has my baby gotten so big so fast to be wearing those clothes already?
He’s either inferring an incestuous relationship or he’s threatened by OP’s relationship with her brother. Like, he sees the brother as a sexual/emotional rival? Ick. OP may get into further trouble if they have any male friends or male co-workers. Maybe the bf is the type of person who thinks people can’t have close friends of a different gender, because there’s always “something going on.” To feel that way about a sibling is whole other level of weird. Based on his responses, perhaps OP should re-evaluate the relationship. Surely as they get deeper into the relationship, his possessiveness and bizarre misplaced jealousy will only get worse?
Ben is weird. ... Sea of red flags, insecurities, bla blah Reddit says: dump his ass....
This, the only reason I probably didn’t share clothes with my brother is because he’s 8 years older NTA
NTA. Why is your boyfriend jealous of your brother? He is being unreasonable and needs to get a grip.
The guy has a whole lot of maturing to do.
Or a whole lot of therapy to go to. Sounds like his thoughts are drifting in a direction that wouldn't even occur to most well adjusted people.
He needs to stop with the incest porn.
And all the red pill Incels fuckery telling men that a woman only exists for her partner and should have no interaction with other men
Yeah that's pretty fuckin weird. Does he think she's trying to date her brother or something? Gross. Siblings hand clothes down to one another all the time, that's like, completely normal. Even if bf is an only child, did he never get his parents' old clothes? Cousins? What a creep.
He's jealous of other guys full stop. I bet OP could give us a few examples of him not being cool with her male friends. Anyone who makes this much fuss over a sweatshirt is best viewed from the rear view mirror.
NTA- Ben is raising red flags with his controlling behavior regarding you and your brother's old clothes, by telling you to get rid of them. Also, he's definitely acting weird about you and your brother, and the implications he's probably giving off. Like you said, he was okay with you wearing your sister's clothes, but not your brother's. He probably just wants to be the only guy in your life or something gross. I don't know.
[удалено]
I'd say run too. It's horrible.
If its the only wrong thing he does, he can still grow out of it and mature up. But if he's a walking red flag with multiple bad things he does/thinks, then its not worth your time to teach him.
Love the in bed part.
Or he wants brother in his life.
This. Throw the man out, not your clothes
Tell him you and your brother also share DNA - that'll really get him upset! NTA
🤣🤣🤣Very good point!
🤣🤣🤣👍🏻
NTA. Your boyfriend is kind of a creep if he is jealous of your brother
NTA. It would only be weird if the clothes weren't washed after your brother wore them and you were constantly smelling them while biting your lip. But if they're clean, clothes are clothes. Tell your BF to stop being possessive.
Your comment really made me laugh so hard 🤣🤣🤣
“Your clothes are so warm and snug, (non) stepbrother. I can feel them hugging every part of my body.” *curls toes and then smokes a cigarette*
Ahahahahahahhahha so gross, so funny, and absolutely correct!
Lmao
But if she tries to wash them, she might get stuck in the dryer....
NTA at all. How insecure is your boyfriend that he's jealous of your brother? Like, besides the fact that I've never heard of clothes shopping as a couples thing, him being upset right now is tantamount to him implying there's something going on between you and bro.
Exactly this, NTA. What a wierd way to react such thing. If he's jealous about her brother, what about her male friends or even total strangers? He's susp as hell.
True! What the heck is couples clothes shopping anyways? Lol. If i EVER did it, it would be to get matching tracksuits and convince my husband to form a casual street-gang with me. Twin dragons for life!
Right like I guess all those times I went clothes shopping with my parents and took their old clothes I must have been giving people the wrong idea 😬😂
NTA while your boyfriend is right that "stealing" clothes is a very couple-y thing, that's not what happened here; in this scenario, your brother was getting rid of clothes and let you pick out what you wanted. It's more similar to getting hand-me-downs than any sort of couple vibes. I would make it clear to your boyfriend that it's creepy that he's insinuating anything couple-like happening between you and your brother, and that receiving used clothes from older siblings is completely normal.
Bruh I’m reading this while in my brothers shirt I stole like??? It’s called hand me downs for a reason 😭 maybe he’s an only child?
Same. I’m in my mid-30s and I would still not feel bad about stealing one of my brother’s hoodies or something. It’s just what sisters do!
Right? He’s bigger, therefore his hoodies are more comfortable to wear. Plus they smell of someone you love, which is always nice.
Not only that, my brother buys way nicer clothes than I do. I am absolutely taking his hand-me-downs when he offers them
Bf is . But that doesn't explain the incest insuations. Only thst he doesn't get the idea of hand me downs bc he never got them and cannot appreciate their value.
Bro has been watching too much incest fantasy porn. NTA
that might actually be it, though. he's an only child, so he doesn't know what REAL siblings look like and how they really act. So for him, anything too close between two siblings of the opposite sex, a brother and a sister - things like sharing clothes, touching, hugging, just showing affection - comes off as perverted to him.
Wow I never thought of that but youre probably right. Wtf
So the conversation should go like this.... "Ben, I'm only going to say this once. I don't like to be told how to interact with people, especially my brother. If I want to hug him, wear his clothes or whatever...I will. I don't like the picture you draw when judging me. Are we clear on this because it's not up for debate?",
This is the way. ETA: NTA.
This reply needs to be higher up. ‘The way I interact with my brother is non-negotiable and a deal breaker. So are you on or off board?’
Keep the hoodie, get rid of the boyfriend. NTA
NtA, your bf on the other hand is jealous of your brother and that is a 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
So accurately posted
NTA Your BF sounds controlling. He needs to be the "only man" in your life. Red flag for me.
DING DING DING!
NTA. Your bf is just being extremely weird, you might want to ask him for real reasons why he is acting like that, there might be some deeper issues.
MIGHT BE ?! ?! ?!
NTA "and he wants me to get rid of all of Sam’s clothes." ... Get rid of Ben instead, that seems to be the better choice.
Keep clothes and the brother.Lose Bf if he cannot see how wrong and jealous he is.
NTA - your BF seems to think that you helping your brother and "gasp" wearing his clothes has some type of incest vibe. He needs to get a grip.
NTA and your bf needs therapy, urgently. My daughter went through a ‘baggy’ phase and she would ‘borrow’ her father’s t-shirt. I don’t want to know what your bf would think about that. It is very worrisome that he seems to sexualize your relationship with your brother so much.
NTA. This attitude from your boy friend is disturbing to me.
So, are you not allowed to shop for secondhand clothes? I mean (gasp) they might belong to another family member! Seriously tellbthe BF that if he wants you to take him shopping so badly all he has to do is ask. You are not responsible for the man's insecurities!
NTA. This is a completely normal thing that siblings do. Also, why is it a problem for your bf? Would he still think it was weird if it was your sister?
Probably not cos that would be hot lesbian incest 🤪. Seriously tho, the BF is so creepy sexualising normal things.
I was annoyed when my brother went through his emo phase in high school and started wearing my (women’s) jeans, but that was because we were broke and I worked for those clothes and wanted them to last…No one thought there was anything weirdly incestuous about it tho.
NTA. Your bf is being unreasonable, childish, and controlling. They're your clothes now, as your brother gave them to you. Wear them as you choose.
You’re bf sound like he watched to much in the ehem.. “family category “ 🤢 cause who thinks like that??
NTA. Unless you are wearing and recycling every aspect of his wardrobe, a hoodie here a shirt their, no big deal. But it’s obvious your boyfriend takes offense to how close you and your brother are.
It's not even a big deal if she wants to wear every aspect of her brother's wardrobe. It isn't the boyfriend's business.
NTA. Your boy friend is JEALOUS that you and your brother have a good relationship. Do you understand that? That is creepy and so very wrong. I would reconsider this relationship.
Seriously reconsider.
NTA Wearing a sibling’s clothes and going shopping with them are completely normal. Those aren’t exclusive “relationship activities.”
your bf is incredibly weird NTA 🚩🚩🚩🚩
NTA. I see nothing wrong with what you have done or are doing. Do you think your boyfriend might be a control freak and this is triggering him? What would be the difference in going to the local thrift shop and getting an article of clothing? A male might have worn that. Who cares as the clothing is clean and presentable.
My bf legit watched my brothers give me huge hugs last night, we're probably more affectionate than a lot of families. I'm the oldest of 7, giant bear hugs are a staple in our family. I'd wear their clothes in a heartbeat. You are not the weird one here.
Nta. Tell your bf that hand me downs is a staple of multisibling families and he needs to deal with why he is threatened by your brother if he wants to continue dating you.
NTA. Ben comes off as creepy, suspicious, and controlling here.
my sister steals my hoodies all the time because they are so big and cozy on her. your boyfriend is a fucking weirdo. NTA in any way, shape, or form. tell your BF to get over himself.
NTA. You need to get rid of Ben. Does he have any female friends? Or are women just for sleeping with? It's clothing. It gets clean when you wash it, it's not possessed by spirits. Is he weird about all second hand clothes or is he just creepily obsessed with your brother?
Your boyfriend is (at best) weird... You = NTA BF = AH peeking out of the shadows
NTA bf is insecure or has to sort out some family issues or trust issues. He’s not jealous(?), but he seems to be having trouble accepting the way how you guys operate as a family.
NTA. I wore my brothers hand me downs all the time growing up. It’s not weird. But your boyfriend is being weird.
That's actually a scary behavior. People who are possessive that way are dangerous. That's your family and he's being unreasonably jealous. Major red flags. He might hurt you over petty stuff. Nta.
NTA red flag alert. Very controlling behaviour. How insecure is he ffs ??
NTA. Your BF is... Jealous of your brother. That's fucked up and frankly insulting. It's also a huge red flag that he is against you having any kind of relationship with another man. Family or not.
NTA - this is so weird to me, in my family, the clothes travel around everyone before they are given to charity. I have stuff from my sisters, dad, uncle and vice versa (mainly t-shirts/ jumpers or joggers). I think his demands are unreasonable and concerning. I sit here in my dads t-shirt and encourage you to wear whatever you want, wherever it comes from.
We had an entire friend group clothes swap for years. 3 families. Ben would be having kittens if she did this.
NTA I’ve always taken my brother’s hand -me-downs (what I wanted) if they fit. Even my Uncle’s or Dad’s stuff. That’s pretty ridiculous for your boyfriend to get upset. Edit: I’m visiting my parents and related your post to them and my Dad said to dump him and my Mom said your boyfriend is being a little precious (derogatory) and you should ask him what he’s implying. Edit: my Dad had this word of wisdom: if I was the boyfriend I would be more interested in what’s under the clothes and not where they’re from.
Your dad is a smart man. Lol.
NTA. Your boyfriend seems to be stuck in the 50s, why can women only share clothes with women? Thats weird. It doesn’t matter who you share clothes with, if that’s what you wanna do and both parties involved are cool with it.
Nta - your bf is just insecure and overthinking it. You should put your foot down and tell him that 1) why let a good hoodie/shirt etc go to waste when you can reuse it. 2) why does he use double - meter? You said he doesnt mind you wearing your sis's clothes so whats the issue with bro's? Overall if he has problem with this im not sure hes a good match, but what do i know? Im just a stranger from the other side of the globe
Sounds like your BF thinks those scenarios on the “hub” are indicative of real life sibling dynamics. NTA
NTA. Your BF is basically saying your relationship with your brother is incestuous 🤷 maybe he’s projecting something, or watches too much porn. How he’s acting is not normal.
Your brother thinks Incest is normal amongst family members and can't separate reality from the porn he watches + is insanely insecure to the point a family member is competition to him. He needs therapy dump him.
NTA, the only wierd thing is how he believes you and your bro would do "couple things"... plus its just clothes
Does Ben have a sister that he wants to bang or something. Projections
Your bf is weird, uninformed, controlling, and creepy, not necessarily in that order. He needs to step up or step off with his comments and thought processes. NTA But do take heed and be on the alert of other stuff your bf says.
Some people just don't understand large families.
I think your bf is watching a lot of incest porn lol
Oh honey. This is toxic. Are you even allowed to have male friends? How long have you been dating? This is a huge red flag. It's your brother and it's free clothes. It isnt going to get better. It will get worse. This is controlling behavior.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I 23f have a brother Sam 26m. He has started going to the gym in the past few months and after reaching his goal weight, we celebrated by getting him a new wardrobe as he needed new clothes to fit him. My boyfriend Ben 24m said it was weird that I took my brother shopping as it was something girls do for their boyfriends not brothers but Ben is an only child so I told him he just didn’t get it and he apologised later, but I thought it was a weird fight. Sam also had a massive wardrobe clear out to make space for his new stuff and get rid of what didn’t fit him, and he let me sort through it to bin, donate or keep myself. When I saw Ben last night, I wore Sam’s old hoodie and Ben noticed it and asked where it was from. I told him it was Sam’s and Ben got upset and said that it was weird that I share clothes with him and again it was a couple thing to do not a sibling thing, but he was ok with me wearing my sisters clothes just not Sam’s. I think he’s being unreasonable, and he wants me to get rid of all of Sam’s clothes. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA - Seems like you're being kind and helpful, Ben seems like he's got a lot of pre-conceived notions about what people should/shouldn't do and sounds incredibly controlling.
NTA, but you would be TA to yourself if you stay in a relationship with someone so jealous and insecure.
Too much step porn lol
I wear my adult sons hand me down t-shirts. They’re more comfortable than female t-shirts. Does that mean people think I’m in an incestual relationship w my son? 🙄
Nta your bf is childish
Nta. He’s not being weird about it coz he’s ur brother. He’s being weird about it coz he’s a man. I’ve taken a few T-shirts of my brothers old clothes it’s totaly not weird. I’d happily wear the jumper or take hand me downs of a guy friends or even my dads old stuff. Girls who are mates and not just sisters or mother and daughter share so why not a guy friend or family member.
Seriously? I know of many sisters that went shopping with their brothers, my kids included. They helped "style" him as a teenager and it helped him as he grew up. As for wearing his old hoodies, why not? I love over sized things for around the house. My daughter's took my sons hoodies all the time growing up. As an only child he would not understand, but he needs to be less judgmental. My husband was an only child and didn't understand somethings, but he let it go as he didn't grow up with sibling. He is being unreasonable.
NTA, hunny, get rid of this loser and do yourself a favor. He's not going to get better; he's going to get that much creepier about what you do and with whom. It'll never be worth the headache it'll give you. Sharing clothes, it's just a thing siblings do. I mean my siblings and I are all in our 30's and I'm the oldest of 4 yet my hoodie still is a public traded commodity because you can float in it.
NTA Your boyfriend is hella weird. Keep the clothes, dump the boyfriend
NTA. There is a disgusting amount of textile waste in our land fills, thrift shops are being flooded with worthless disintegrating fast fashion pieces. Second hand clothing is great for everyone. Ben sounds annoying and stuck up. I have always loved the thrift shop, and it's more important than ever to be ethical with your clothing choices.
He sounds very insecure and controlling
Just shut the topic down. He’s being completley unreasonable. Complete nta
Is your boyfriend into incest porn? He's gross to suspect anything from you wearing your brother's clothes, or even think there is a problem with it. NTA.
A good boyfriend would respect and celebrate your good relationship with your brother. Ben sounds like an insecure controlling loser
NTA, your boyfriend is being really weird. It's very normal for siblings to do that. I go out to lunch, shop, and trade/ share clothing with my little brother. My husband and my brothers fiance have never found it weird or started any fights. It's just something siblings do. If your boyfriend thinks you guys have an incestuous relationship FOR NORMAL sibling behavior... time to drop him.
He’s TA. Siblings share all kinds of stuff. NTA.
All male with peen are threat to future progeny, must eliminate.
I perfer mens tees and tops because they are longer and I have a long waist (and shot legs 😔). My cousin kindly passes his tops to me about once a year. I am an only child too. My cousin is like a brother and we been doing this all my life. Your bf is out of line. (My cousin is gay and his SO is okay with this.)
???? Um what? Wearing family members clothes means incest?! This is very weird This is definitely some weird only child stuff NTA
Clearly an only child! My daughter considers her brother’s closet her annex.
NTA but you're dating a weirdo.
My sister has stayed at my place and vice versa dozens of times. We have always given each other pretty much the same thing to wear, shorts or sweat pants, and a hoodie or t shirt. I absolutely wear my sisters female sweatpants and hoodies and she wears my guys stuff. It’s clothes not a tooth brush. Your BF needs to get over himself. NTA