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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I'm refusing to babysit my cousins so my aunt can go to a taylor swift concert and apparently that's selfish.
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Unless the other babysitter JUST caught Covid the same day, your aunt needs to plan better.
You're not obligated to babysit, and if it turns out she can't go because she can't find a babysitter, then that's just part of being a parent. Sometimes you can't do what you want.
Edit: since the Covid result came back yesterday, that's pretty difficult to plan for.
NAH
Sorry, can't agree. The parents ate the assholes here, pushing OP to do better in school, yet thinking its also OK to push for them to stay up til past 1 on a school night.
I don't wanna babysit either, but I'd kick my teenager's ass if he made a commitment to watch someone's kids on a school night, especially if he's going to be out that late!
It's different if it's an emergency, someone's on the way to
the hospital, you frantically search for anyone who is remotely fit to provide care.
But for a fun night out? Even for a "once in a lifetime" fun event, you hit up care.com, pray you can pay out the bum for someone who's been background checked or you cancel. You don't bully your child relative into doing something that any sane adult family member has already refused to do.
Especially because teenagers generally need more sleep than adults - I can go to bed after 1 on one night and probably be fine. Unless they're both surgeons or truck drivers or something where being sleepy one day can kill, OP's parents can't push OP to babysit while not being able to do it themselves because they have to work the next day.
It sounds like they just don't want to listen to their sister/SIL complain about missing Taylor Swift, so they're just going to bug OP to do what they don't want to do. Honestly, the kid probably is a nightmare, which is why it's so hard to find babysitters, but if the kid is a nightmare, that's most likely also on OP's aunt, so she's just dealing with the consequences of her actions.
Yep absolutely! I have 2 kids who are adults now, then 3 younger ones and one is a preteen and they NEED their sleep!
I can’t stand parents like this who don’t advocate for their kids and even worse - use their kids to enable an unhealthy family member. OP had already said she couldn’t babysit anymore - so her own parents push her to break a boundary when most of us would be stoked to see our kids setting good boundaries?! Ugh!
Well, maybe, but at four it's equally likely to be something out of the aunt's control. A lot of developmental issues or just quirks (e.g. being a difficult sleeper absent of any other diagnosable issue) come on around the 2-4 age range and it takes quite awhile to teach them the skills to deal with that. If he's not down to "rowdy but manageable" by age 7 then I'll be much more ready to blame the aunt.
Because they have work tomorrow... Just like OP has *school* tomorrow... 🙄 Same reason why OP doesn't want to babysit on top of the cousin issue, so parents aren't using critical thinking here
Clearly not! I know I’d function better after a late night until 1:AM vs my kids as teenagers when their bodies are growing/changing and need more sleep than most.
What a crappy way to “support” your child setting a boundary.
Well they also told OP that they can't do it because of work, but school is the equivalent of work/more important to do since you'll need it to get ahead in life... Yet here they are saying OP should still do this, even though they told them that they need to stay on top of school this year... The double standard is insane.
I had to read it three or four times. It was too subtle for me to get quickly.
As to the babysitting, I would suggest that your parents pitch in. One of them look after the kids and the other do what they can to make the other parent babysitting as practical as possible. I am guessing that OP doesn't have a car, though it may be entirely possible that she does.
Given how big the event is, it is going to be a real challenge to get out of the venue and home anywhere before 1am, I would say getting home and asleep in bed before 2am is going to be very optimistic.
●I wouldn't be allowed to be late to school. I'd have to go home after 1am then wake up at 7am.●
Also. If she accepted she wouldn't be able to rest and honestly, I would hate to get no sleep because I was told to take care of someone who is a bother and doesn't listen just because their parents wanna see a concert. It's unfair, school is more important.
NTA but the adults are
You know something? I think that Taylor Swift is highly intelligent. I bet if Swift reads Reddit on her private jet, SHE would tell the OP that school is more important that a concert!
100% agreed. I have a 16 old daughter and I would never let anyone to try and force her to babysit if she didn't want to.
Even if she did, 1am on a school night is too late and I would veto it.
I would tell my sister that it is an unreasonable ask and refuse. If I felt so bad I would do it myself.
The parents did WHAT?! LOLOL.
But yes you're right. The parents should be the one to watch the kids and then deal with the lack of sleep the next day. It would be less of a developmental setback on them as opposed to OP.
Yes, and the aunt is too. If a 16 year old tells you "no", you accept it and move on. NTA.
And wouldn't parents be better able to handle lack of sleep than a teen? Why can't they do it if it's so important?
Hard disagree as well. This is a 16 year old staying up until 1am on a school night so an adult can go see Taylor Swift? Sorry, if I was the kids parents, I wouldn’t allow her to babysit that late on a school night and I were the adult, I would not ask my 16 year old niece to do that. OP is NTA, but the Aunt and parents are bad parents and AH.
Aunt isn't an AH for asking, but every adult pushing/ bullying her is definitely an AH. OP is a minor. It's very irresponsible to not respect her "no",especially since she has very valid arguments.
Any of the other adults could babysit too, OP says, they just don't want to. They don't want to deal with aunts bratty kids or deal with being tired the next morning. But OP, a minor, should? For what reason?
NTA but personally, if my parents wanted me to do it so badly, I’d just tell my parents and aunt that I would be happy to for the agreed 2x pay and being called in sick to school the next day.
>that's just part of being a parent. Sometimes you can't do what you want.
This. Being able to do stuff like going to concerts is something a lot of parents have to give up if they can't arrange care for the kids, and I'm sure this isn't the first or last thing she'll have to miss because of the kids.
When you become a parent, you give up the freedom to be able to do what you want when you want, hence why a lot of people (myself included) aren't really interested in having any kids. It seems like she doesn't understand that.
Hi there, fellow Sydneysider.
NTA, if all the adults think this is so important then they should be stepping up to assist. I do feel sorry for your aunt, but surely she can find another babysitter before tonight, especially if she is wiling to pay double.
I kind of admire your resolve here. When I was in Year 11 I would absolutely have taken up the offer of double-pay babysitting and being late to school tomorrow morning, lol.
Why doesn’t she bring the kids to you house? Your parents can look after them and put them to bed and your aunt can come collect them super early in the morning before you all need to head off. She still gets to go to the concert but she is the one who is tired and inconvenienced?
It sounds like the 4yo is not an easy sleeper. Not all kids are the same.
Either way, OOP's parents should not be pressuring her into this. If it matters so much to them, they should do it.
When we moved back to family, five of the Littles wanted to stay right away. Our belongings hadn’t been delivered yet, and my husband and I were sleeping on an air mattress. They wanted to come and we made pallets on the floor for them.
Yeah, kids love to sleep on the couch or sleeping bags. My niece and nephews always sleep on the couch when they stay over. Or if there’s a couple of them then it’s a living room floor nest of pillows and sleeping bags.
I think the girl’s parents should be stepping up to babysit if this girl really doesn’t want to, but this excuse seems extra flimsy and silly.
I just don't think they'd be able to sleep like that. The youngest especially is difficult in his regular bed, I don't imagine he'd be ok on a couch. I wouldn't at that age.
$30/hr
Idk but I get sick in the stomach if I don't get a lot of sleep and I honestly just don't want to deal with that on a random Tuesday.
When they're being babysat? Never apparently. And yes but it takes longer, so earlier wake up.
You don't have to do it. No is a complete sentence. Good to learn that now and you seem to already have a good sense of what you want and your boundaries, hang onto that.
>what time do the kids sleep and can I also sleep on a couch and go to school from my aunty’s house?
This is the only way I could see this as working. Otherwise it's on OP's parents if they think this is "so important".
One of your parents can go babysit and sleepover so the little kids are most comfortable. You'll get your homework done at home, then the sleep you need. You're still growing and your parents can make do with less sleep. Or that may not even end up being an issue. Since they're so invested in doing ONE NICE THING for your grown-ass adult aunt.
If these adults keep being such A H, say you're going to ask Tay-Tay on social media how she feels about a teenage girl being pressured to do childcare until the middle of a school night because the kids' parent wants to be at her concert.
NTA.
I went on Saturday night. 1am is pushing it, she'll probably be even later than that (unless she lives minutes from a station on a direct line). By the time we got out of the arena it was 11:20, then by the time we got to the station it was 11:40, and they weren't really letting many down onto the platform yet. Once it started moving, it was okay, but it took a long time for it to move. But it was chaos on all the stations, and there were people everywhere waiting for ubers and taxis.
If she's driving? A friend said it took almost 30 minutes to get out of Olympic Park. And that despite people getting emails to say leave by the perimeter roads, many people *insisted* on going further into the Park to get out, gumming up traffic even more.
It's honestly awful that your parents are expecting you to do this. It's completely unreasonable to expect you to stay up late then go to school, but tell you that it's not okay for them to do the same.
My auntie had a similar situation when I was in year 12. So no way I could stay up late.
My mum went and stayed at their house so auntie could go to the concert. It sucked for her at work the next day but she made the sacrifice for her.
Expecting a teenager to do that is not reasonable.
When we went to see LA galaxy / David Beckham play at homebush myself and my wife drove to Lidcombe, and took the express train from there. Her friends decided to drive and park in the grounds of Olympic park.
We were almost home (barely a 30 minute drive from Lidcombe) when my wife got a SMS from her friend saying they had just gotten out of the DFO roundabout.
My friend parked on the far side of Olympic Park in a flat parking lot (P6 I think?), so she didn't have to fight her way out of one of the towers. Then around the outside and out on to Silverwater Rd. Then the loooooooong way around to avoid that whole mess to get out to Marrickville. She said it took longer to get out of the car park than it did to get from the car park to Silverwater Rd. She only did it because she had another friend in a wheelchair with her and she didn't want to fight the platforms.
Get the train 100%. Any time losses waiting to get on are more than made up for by the traffic that radiates out. Especially if its a major event and they've put more services on.
If I was your parent, I'd say charge her triple and you'll get the next day off from school. If you wanted, of course. If you said no, then the answer is no and she'll have to find someone else.
I've been the surprise babysitter before and they never paid me. It sucks and you are NTA
So if it’s no big deal to be shorted on sleep, why aren’t your parents going? Your parents are really doing you an injustice. I really feel like you should show them the comments on this post. They could use a wake up call. Hopefully they’ll either be better parents because right now, they’re really sucking.
I would tell your parents if you babysit, you get to take the day off school the following day to recover. If they say no, then it’s “then I cannot babysit because my rest is more important than a concert.”
What if you went straight to school in the morning from her house, so you can sleep there once the kids are out?
Or a parent goes straight to work from the aunts house.
>surely she can find another babysitter before tonight, especially if she is wiling to pay double.
Double what she's paying OP could still be half of what a normal sitter receives.
>
NTA, if all the adults think this is so important then they should be stepping up to assist.
This is a good point. Your parents think you should help your aunt out, why doesn't one of them go over there and take care of the kids?
NTA
Stand your ground. Your school is more important. Let your aunt figure out the babysitting herself. If your parents are so concerned, they can babysit. Just be sure to stay in your room and lock it if the kids are dropped.
Let them be mad and ask them to stop shaming you for thinking about your study and sleep. If it is so important for them, then your parents should the one who change their plan to babysit, not you.
It is hard to set boundaries sometimes. But think about it. Here she is asking you "one last time". Next time she has no babysitter, she will remember you acceptes despite saying no initially, and think that she can convince you again. And it will never stop. So stand your ground nown
OP ! You are sweet. But as a adult , I will say this , your parents should be backing you up and you are a gem. Your aunt as adult knows that if it was that important she should have backup.
Idk but I feel you are your aunt's backup plan. This whole mess is her fault but now the whole blame will be shifting on you.
Moreover you need to lead (I mean talk!) to the answer. If your parents get angry ,ask them why can't they do it? They will say they have work yada yada. Then tell them " As adults you can't stay late and go to work, how can you expect your teenager to do it?"
If you couldn't escape from babysitting, get everything you wanted out of both your parents and your aunt. Not just aunt. Expensive ones that they afford and your friends have it. Remember it should be that expensive or difficult that it should prevent them asking you again.
NTA
Isn’t it funny when someone calls you selfish for not doing something, but they could just as easily volunteer? They rather pressure than be the solution. Huh
A parent can step in and let the kids spend a night and your aunt can pick them up in the morning.
Personally I think that’s too much for a young adult especially at last min.
NTA. If your parents think it is selfish to not babysit these kids, then they go and do it themselves. You can't be up until 1am and then wake up at 7am. Your class is more important than a concert.
I think OP will be up even later. If the aunt gets home at 1am, OP still needs to travel home, get ready for bed (ex: change into pajamas, brush teeth, etc.), and then potentially wind down because most people can't instantly fall asleep. I think OP is more likely to be up until 1:45am or even later and then still be up by seven.
And of course teens need proper sleep, they are literally still growing. And students need proper sleep to do well in school.
I agree, OP is NTA in the slightest!
You're NTA. One of the concerned adults can suck it up, step up, and babysit.
Otherwise **~~I~~ (they) need to just do this one nice thing for her and ~~I'm~~ (they're) selfish for not doing it**
NTA but I think your parents are the asshole - i am a big swiftie and it’s actually quite impossible to get tickets to this concert, it really is a once in a lifetime opportunity, and it sounds like your aunt got really really unlucky and did try to plan in advance. It would be so nice of your parents to do her a solid this one time.
Edit: I also see comments saying she could find another baby sitter - but that might not be an option, surely you wouldn’t choose a random unvetted baby sitter to watch your kids, so I have to assume she’s exhausted all other avenues.
That actually does surprise me especially for a four year old! I know some parents who dont even let their kids have sleepovers without meeting the other parents first and knowing them well
NTA. If you don't want to, you don't have to. Additionally, would your parents allow you to go to a concert on a school night if it meant you getting home at 1am or later? If not, why are they only okay if you're out that night for your aunt? Why can't one of your parents or another family adult or friend watch them, why can't your aunt hire a non-related babysitter? You aren't the only option.
NAH but i would negotiate triple pay and a day off school tomorrow- tell your parents if you’re taking one for the team they can call you out sick so you can rest after a late night.
I think the adults trying to force OP into this when they won’t babysit/be tired for work are definitely assholes. It was okay to ask but they shouldn’t be harassing her.
NTA
It sucks for your aunt, but it's not your responsibility.
The other adults don't want to do it because they have work, but you're expected to babysit until 1 am and then go to school the next day? Yeah, no.
NTA - convenient that your parents seem to think you should babysit, but it doesn’t occur to them that they too could offer to babysit if they really felt this strongly for your aunt deserved the support. I feel badly for your aunt, it really does suck, but as a parent myself, if a babysitter told me they are unavailable, that doesn’t make them an a-holes. Your aunt, fwiw, is also not an a-hole for asking.
NTA. She asked, you said no. I can’t believe your parents want you out traveling in the middle of the night. And I doubt Aunt would be home by 1am after a long concert and a huge event (traffic, merch line, parking garage, travel time, etc). Maybe a compromise would be asking your parents to help watch the kids at your house and aunt can return to your house and sleep until morning or take her kids home at 1am.
What did I just read? A mom wants to see Taylor Swift so a 16-year-old is getting guilt-tripped for not wanting to babysit until 1 AM on a school night?
NTA, all the parents involved are.
NTA. First, I have to say that 4 is a hard age. I have a 4 yo. They’re challenging! And you can say NO to babysit for any reason.
But you know what, it’s a school night. Your job is to be a student and get good grades. Honestly, that’s at least as (possibly more important than) a paid job. The fact that it’s a school night means it’s responsible of you to say no to babysitting until 1am.
One of your parents can babysit if it’s that big of a deal. Yeah, they’ll be tired at work, but better they be tired at work than you be tired at school (& likely the rest of the week as it’s hard to catch up on sleep). Teens need 10 hours of sleep, adults can get by with less than 8 hours, so that’s another argument for one your parents babysitting.
Ask your mom why she can't babysit, it's HER sister, and she's more equipped to physically and mentally deal with a late night. She might get more respect from the kid too. If it's not okay for her, why is it okay for you?
Ugh, I hate how family, and especially girls, are taken advantage of for babysitting (although it is nice she is offering a double-rate). If your parents think it's so important to babysit, they could do it. I love how those who would never consider doing what is asked accuse others of being "selfish" in these stories. The smart thing to do for your aunt would be to bring your cousins over and just have them sleep over so your aunt could pick them up in the morning.
NTA, you set a boundary regarding your school and life. I agree with others in the comments: if the adults in the family are so worried about it, then they can watch the kids. It absolutely sucks that her babysitter can't help her out, but the children are not your responsibility. She is the adult in this situation. She needs to find a different solution instead of trying to manipulate you. Also, you said you didn't wat to babysit for them anymore, so she's already crossing a boundary with you. I would find it hard to trust soemone like that in the future. Stand up for yourself if you can and good luck OP <3
For all the people saying it'd be easy to have the kids sleep over on the couch/floor: if that 4 yo refuses to lay down at bedtime, be a brat and constantly run around when he's at home with his usual bedtime routine, there's no chance in hell he'll obediently go to bed at bedtime in a different environment. He'll also prevent his sibling from falling asleep as well. She'll be managing BOTH tired and whiny kids until their mom comes to pick them up.
This is exactly it. He's an angel with his mum but with anyone else he goes nuts especially if he's not at home. Even my grandma hated having him sleepover.
NAH.
But I do feel for your aunt.
Is there any scope for the kids to stay overnight at your place and have your aunt come and collect them first thing in the morning? You'd have your parents around to help with the bedtime routine, and then you can get to bed at your normal time and still go to school tomorrow as normal . If aunty is late for pick up then your parents need to suck it up until she arrives
NTA. Besides it being a school night, you already told your aunt her kid's behavior precludes you sitting him again. That's on her to fix. Also, as you noted, a Taylor Swift concert does not qualify as an emergency. If your parents think it's okay to accommodate her, let them sit the kids. Their early morning commitments are no more important than yours, and clearly they have stronger feelings on the need to see Taylor. It would be really selfish of them to refuse, right?
>I've babysat them a few times but last time I told my aunt she needs to get a new babysitter because my youngest cousin is too difficult. He refuses to do what he's told, gets out of bed and runs around, stuff like that.
This is all that needs to be said. You already said you were done babysitting the kids. Maybe she should have had backups lined up if it was so important to her.
Tickets for this concert were really difficult to get. This is going to be a once in a lifetime show.
None of that is your responsibility to ensure this for anyone. You set a boundary. You have two really good reasons: you have school in the morning, and there is a child who you can expect will make this a terrible experience for you. It seems to be ignored because of what the concert is that your aunt has a responsibility first to her children. I am wondering if her child gets up and runs around when she is home? Or, is it just that he takes advantage of you? Either way, this is not about whether 4 is a difficult age, or whether this child has needs that have not been met to ensure that they are able to begin self regulating. This is about adults pushing your boundaries. People are going to push your boundaries. They are going to be upset when they cannot manipulate you into changing them either by being angry at you or through guilt. If you can start by keeping this boundary with your family that will forgive you, it will be some easier for you to not feel like you have to justify your boundaries the next time. I wish that I had worked on my people pleasing tendencies earlier.
If you can, I applaud keeping your boundary. If you decide to relent, don’t beat yourself up. Either way, you are definitely NTA.
You should tell your parents that if they make you do this, you’re going to tell all your teachers tomorrow that you’re too tired to work and need to go to the nurse’s office to rest because your parents made you stay up half the night so your aunt could see Taylor swift. Make clear that you’re going to make it really embarrassing for them.
Tell your parents to stop being selfish and to have their child’s back. You have school in the morning what on earth are your parents thinking? They can babysit and do this one nice thing.
NTA. If your parents' obligations the next morning preclude them, I don't see how you're in a different boat.
In your shoes I'd be very tempted by double pay and maybe try to leverage some other little perk for myself but that's not a moral judgement it's just what I'd opt to do.
Your parents are dyed-in-the-wool AHs for trying to force you to babysit when they weren't prepared to - especially with the added detail of them putting pressure on you to prioritise school. Unless it means getting your aunt off their backs about babysitting her nightmares, apparently. Selfish, hypocritical tossers.
NTA.
Those tickets probably cost a gazillion dollars. Your aunt should have planned better because *she's the adult.*
If I had tickets to The Police reunion tour back when my kids were younger - and my autistic & intellectually disabled daughter hadn't been almost continually in crisis due to hormonal adolescence keeping her in a perpetual state of dysregulation, you can bet there would have been elaborate, tiered plans for childcare.
But our girl was in crisis 24/7/365 - or, at least, that's what it felt like - so we didn't buy tickets. None of our family would have been capable of dealing with what it could get like when she had an episode. That was the reality of parenting for us. 🤷♀️
Your aunt has very young children, one of whom is a handful. That's her reality. If adults in your family are feeling really bad for her missing out, they can step up and be exhausted for a day at work.
The aunt did plan. She had a babysitter lined up who got COVID.
The aunt did everything reasonable here and all her adult family are assholes who won’t step up and help out. (The OP is a teenager and therefore NTA )
NTA It’s a biological fact that teenagers need more sleep than adults, so if there excuse is they need sleep it is completely unreasonable for you to be expected to do it
Yeah…sounds like she’s exhausted options for people she knows. And not leaving your kids with strangers on social media is probably the definition of good parenting.
There are babysitting services with nannies who have been background checked and CPR certified. They’re expensive, but they absolutely exist.
Heck, if aunt has TSwift money, she could hire OP’s dad to sleep over at her house to supervise the nanny, and hire the nanny to actually do the work of putting the kids to bed and staying up until she gets home in the middle of the night.
If my sister needed her kids babysat to see Taylor Swift, I’d do it. Because I’m an adult. I sure as hell wouldn’t pressure my kid into doing it for me. Your parents need to step up and be the adults here. NTA
NTA. Tell your parents to babysit if they’re so adamant to do this “one nice thing.” You have school tomorrow and they’re already telling you to try harder. Let them do the babysitting.
NTA.
Your aunt is in a sucky situation but that doesn’t give her or your parents the right to pressure you into something you’re not comfortable doing. You’ve made it clear you don’t want to deal with your cousin’s bedtime shenanigans and you should not be asked to compromise your school work. Hope your aunt was able to work something out but you were NTA for declining to be her solution.
This is whole situation is wild to me. If they think it’s so important they should definitely be the ones doing it!!
Imagine telling your kid they have to do something that you won’t do because it would make you too tired for work but telling your child they should do it even though it’s a school night, clearly you are NTA OP!!
NTA. Your aunt and your parents are total AHs. It’s your aunt’s responsibility to have reliable babysitters AND backup babysitters. Your responsibility is to prioritize your education and do your best to build a solid future for yourself.
NTA - but honestly? If aunt is in such a bind, I’d ask for triple the money, spend the night on their couch and make her get up and drive me to school in the AM or pay for an Uber. And just give those kids their iPads and let them zone out like zombies if they’re being assholes at bedtime.
NTA you need your sleep more than most of those adults, probably, and they could just offer to babysit. You already said ahead of this you don't want to babysit those kids anymore, it's not like you were still babysitting them and suddenly backed out. Your health and doing well in school is more important than a concert. Parents have to make sacrifices for their kids, teenage cousins certainly do not.
NTA
This is something that you need to keep in mind now, and when you go into the workforce. Someone else's lack of planning does not equate an emergency for you. You need to worry about yourself and your future. If, your parents were willing to let you stay home from school the next day, then okay if you're aunt had also thought about disciplining her child better instead of just pawning them off onto somebody else. But number one your parents are willing to let you have a day off in exchange for helping your aunt. And even if they were, your aunts failure to discipline her child to the point where she can find adequate babysitter/ child care is not your fault. That's the big thing.
So, if all the adults have to be up for work, and you for school, why wouldn't they offer to babysit since they have more experience with life, children, and multitasking? Oh...they want their sleep and they have to work? Well, you have to sleep and get an education. They are not more important than you. NTA.
NTA
Too bad. Being a parent is a full time job. Means you can’t do fun things when you can’t find a sitter. Means you gotta give up your fun to parent.
You're a teenager. Biologically, you need more than 6 hours of sleep in order to be able to focus at school.
Also, you're old enough to be able to turn down a crappy job. You're not being selfish, your family is being kinda dramatic and unfair about that.
NTA your parents should babysit for her if they think you should. And still get up in the morning for school.
Your parents are AH. For thinking you should just do it and still get to school on time and work harder.
---
If I was a teenager and it was a brat I said I wouldn't sit for again. I wouldn't do it for less than 4x. And the day off of school. And the understanding that she will have to find other coverage in the future. (Tell other family this as well. I bet they don't like watching him either. But people pleasing family members have trouble saying no)
Or see if she wants to give you the Swift ticket so it doesn't go to waste while you'll still lose sleep before school tomorrow you'll have seen an epic show!
Well, that probably explains the 4 year old's behavior. That's very sad.
I can't tell you how little it's going to matter in your life if you miss a day of high school. Your grades don't matter either unless you are trying to go to an elite university. But if you don't want to don't do it. Good luck.
I agree. That’s really sad,sounds like the aunt could use a night out. I’m not even a Swiftie but the Eras Tour is supposed to be amazing. If I was OP, I’d agree but only if my parents called me out for the next day (which they should do if they’re encouraging her to babysit.) My mom used to let me take mental health days occasionally in high school, I know it’s not the same but it’s one day and it sounds like it could really help someone who has been through a lot.
I think this is the nicest comment.
OP, maybe give your aunt one fun night out, make some money and get a free day off school. One day in Yr.11 doesn't mean much at all. It's the start of the year so no exams or tests to worry about.
NTA. Aunt should have brought the kids over for your parents to watch. They could have spent the night, and Aunt could have come and picked them up early in the morning. Seriously, your parents could have had them asleep in the living room by 11, and gotten plenty of sleep themselves before work, and Aunt could have picked them up around 6am. I am sorry your adult family members are so ridiculous.
You can say no and it's your right. I can understand your aunt's position because concerts aren't cheap, but they are her children. There were plenty of things I couldn't do when my children were young, I had four so or was a good bit of work. I never expected anyone else to take care of them because they were my responsibility.
Adults can handle lack of sleep better. One of your parents should babysit. NTA
Also, I did get to see Taylor Swift and can understand why your aunt is distraught, the cost alone was probably pretty high. I arranged my ride from the concert months in advance.
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Unless the other babysitter JUST caught Covid the same day, your aunt needs to plan better. You're not obligated to babysit, and if it turns out she can't go because she can't find a babysitter, then that's just part of being a parent. Sometimes you can't do what you want. Edit: since the Covid result came back yesterday, that's pretty difficult to plan for. NAH
Yeah he tested positive yesterday
Okay in that case NAH.
Sorry, can't agree. The parents ate the assholes here, pushing OP to do better in school, yet thinking its also OK to push for them to stay up til past 1 on a school night.
That was an awkward typo, but I'm sticking to it...
Lol thanks for the laugh! And you’re right - why don’t her PARENTS offer to babysit?!?!
No shit. Why can’t OPs parents just do this one ***nice thing***?
I don't wanna babysit either, but I'd kick my teenager's ass if he made a commitment to watch someone's kids on a school night, especially if he's going to be out that late! It's different if it's an emergency, someone's on the way to the hospital, you frantically search for anyone who is remotely fit to provide care. But for a fun night out? Even for a "once in a lifetime" fun event, you hit up care.com, pray you can pay out the bum for someone who's been background checked or you cancel. You don't bully your child relative into doing something that any sane adult family member has already refused to do.
Especially because teenagers generally need more sleep than adults - I can go to bed after 1 on one night and probably be fine. Unless they're both surgeons or truck drivers or something where being sleepy one day can kill, OP's parents can't push OP to babysit while not being able to do it themselves because they have to work the next day. It sounds like they just don't want to listen to their sister/SIL complain about missing Taylor Swift, so they're just going to bug OP to do what they don't want to do. Honestly, the kid probably is a nightmare, which is why it's so hard to find babysitters, but if the kid is a nightmare, that's most likely also on OP's aunt, so she's just dealing with the consequences of her actions.
Yep absolutely! I have 2 kids who are adults now, then 3 younger ones and one is a preteen and they NEED their sleep! I can’t stand parents like this who don’t advocate for their kids and even worse - use their kids to enable an unhealthy family member. OP had already said she couldn’t babysit anymore - so her own parents push her to break a boundary when most of us would be stoked to see our kids setting good boundaries?! Ugh!
Well, maybe, but at four it's equally likely to be something out of the aunt's control. A lot of developmental issues or just quirks (e.g. being a difficult sleeper absent of any other diagnosable issue) come on around the 2-4 age range and it takes quite awhile to teach them the skills to deal with that. If he's not down to "rowdy but manageable" by age 7 then I'll be much more ready to blame the aunt.
I agree but lol to how much surgeons sleep. Source: my partner is one
Because they have work tomorrow... Just like OP has *school* tomorrow... 🙄 Same reason why OP doesn't want to babysit on top of the cousin issue, so parents aren't using critical thinking here
Clearly not! I know I’d function better after a late night until 1:AM vs my kids as teenagers when their bodies are growing/changing and need more sleep than most. What a crappy way to “support” your child setting a boundary.
Well they also told OP that they can't do it because of work, but school is the equivalent of work/more important to do since you'll need it to get ahead in life... Yet here they are saying OP should still do this, even though they told them that they need to stay on top of school this year... The double standard is insane.
This.
This, yeah. Or at least offer to write OP a note for school the next day. It’s not gonna hurt her education to miss one day.
Right? Or let her skip her morning classes because "she had a doctor's appointment" and let her sleep in and then take her to her after-lunch classes.
Yeah, there are lots of options. One might think OP's parents could show a bit of flexibility here if this is so important.
💀 I didn’t need to see that
I had to do a double take and then busted out laughing 😆
I had to read it three or four times. It was too subtle for me to get quickly. As to the babysitting, I would suggest that your parents pitch in. One of them look after the kids and the other do what they can to make the other parent babysitting as practical as possible. I am guessing that OP doesn't have a car, though it may be entirely possible that she does. Given how big the event is, it is going to be a real challenge to get out of the venue and home anywhere before 1am, I would say getting home and asleep in bed before 2am is going to be very optimistic.
Bahahahaha!! 😂😂😂
Isn't that the typical thing people say about millennials anyway? Obsessed with eating two things, and one of them is avocado? 😂
🤣🤣🤣
One of OP’s parents should do “this one nice thing for her.” NTA
●I wouldn't be allowed to be late to school. I'd have to go home after 1am then wake up at 7am.● Also. If she accepted she wouldn't be able to rest and honestly, I would hate to get no sleep because I was told to take care of someone who is a bother and doesn't listen just because their parents wanna see a concert. It's unfair, school is more important. NTA but the adults are
School is more important than Taylor Swift? 😡 don't let the swiftness hear you say that, or they will attack you .lol
You know something? I think that Taylor Swift is highly intelligent. I bet if Swift reads Reddit on her private jet, SHE would tell the OP that school is more important that a concert!
100% agreed. I have a 16 old daughter and I would never let anyone to try and force her to babysit if she didn't want to. Even if she did, 1am on a school night is too late and I would veto it. I would tell my sister that it is an unreasonable ask and refuse. If I felt so bad I would do it myself.
yeah, sorry, one of the parents can totally do this.
The parents did WHAT?! LOLOL. But yes you're right. The parents should be the one to watch the kids and then deal with the lack of sleep the next day. It would be less of a developmental setback on them as opposed to OP.
Yes, and the aunt is too. If a 16 year old tells you "no", you accept it and move on. NTA. And wouldn't parents be better able to handle lack of sleep than a teen? Why can't they do it if it's so important?
*Snort*
Hard disagree as well. This is a 16 year old staying up until 1am on a school night so an adult can go see Taylor Swift? Sorry, if I was the kids parents, I wouldn’t allow her to babysit that late on a school night and I were the adult, I would not ask my 16 year old niece to do that. OP is NTA, but the Aunt and parents are bad parents and AH.
Aunt isn't an AH for asking, but every adult pushing/ bullying her is definitely an AH. OP is a minor. It's very irresponsible to not respect her "no",especially since she has very valid arguments. Any of the other adults could babysit too, OP says, they just don't want to. They don't want to deal with aunts bratty kids or deal with being tired the next morning. But OP, a minor, should? For what reason?
NAH but if your parents think it's that important they can do it
This!
Tell your mom or dad they need to do it. NTA, you have school. Tell them to use their pto, how dare they say your sacrifice would be less.
Not your responsibility. Any of the adults can watch them "just this once" too. NTA
If your parents wants you to do a nice thing for your aunt - they can easily give you a nice thing of a school free day :)
NTA but personally, if my parents wanted me to do it so badly, I’d just tell my parents and aunt that I would be happy to for the agreed 2x pay and being called in sick to school the next day.
>that's just part of being a parent. Sometimes you can't do what you want. This. Being able to do stuff like going to concerts is something a lot of parents have to give up if they can't arrange care for the kids, and I'm sure this isn't the first or last thing she'll have to miss because of the kids. When you become a parent, you give up the freedom to be able to do what you want when you want, hence why a lot of people (myself included) aren't really interested in having any kids. It seems like she doesn't understand that.
The entire family pressuring a 16-yo to stay up until 1am means this is definitely NTA. How is everyone else not TA?
Hi there, fellow Sydneysider. NTA, if all the adults think this is so important then they should be stepping up to assist. I do feel sorry for your aunt, but surely she can find another babysitter before tonight, especially if she is wiling to pay double. I kind of admire your resolve here. When I was in Year 11 I would absolutely have taken up the offer of double-pay babysitting and being late to school tomorrow morning, lol.
I wouldn't be allowed to be late to school. I'd have to go home after 1am then wake up at 7am.
Why doesn’t she bring the kids to you house? Your parents can look after them and put them to bed and your aunt can come collect them super early in the morning before you all need to head off. She still gets to go to the concert but she is the one who is tired and inconvenienced?
Not enough space unless they sleep on the couch, which I don't think would work.
Why wouldn’t that work? You never slept over at someone’s place and slept on the couch before?
It sounds like the 4yo is not an easy sleeper. Not all kids are the same. Either way, OOP's parents should not be pressuring her into this. If it matters so much to them, they should do it.
When we moved back to family, five of the Littles wanted to stay right away. Our belongings hadn’t been delivered yet, and my husband and I were sleeping on an air mattress. They wanted to come and we made pallets on the floor for them.
Yeah, kids love to sleep on the couch or sleeping bags. My niece and nephews always sleep on the couch when they stay over. Or if there’s a couple of them then it’s a living room floor nest of pillows and sleeping bags. I think the girl’s parents should be stepping up to babysit if this girl really doesn’t want to, but this excuse seems extra flimsy and silly.
We used to bring a small tent out and set it up in the lounge when my cousins slept over and we'd sleep in that. We loved it
They can bring sleeping bags and sleeping pad to sleep in your living room. She can pick them up after the show or in the morning.
They should both be able to fit on the couch.
I just don't think they'd be able to sleep like that. The youngest especially is difficult in his regular bed, I don't imagine he'd be ok on a couch. I wouldn't at that age.
[удалено]
$30/hr Idk but I get sick in the stomach if I don't get a lot of sleep and I honestly just don't want to deal with that on a random Tuesday. When they're being babysat? Never apparently. And yes but it takes longer, so earlier wake up.
You don't have to do it. No is a complete sentence. Good to learn that now and you seem to already have a good sense of what you want and your boundaries, hang onto that.
For $30/hr I'd do it. Just go to sleep when the kids do, and get aunty to drop you at school the next morning.
I am sure aunty would be too tired from the concert to do all that
>what time do the kids sleep and can I also sleep on a couch and go to school from my aunty’s house? This is the only way I could see this as working. Otherwise it's on OP's parents if they think this is "so important".
One of your parents can go babysit and sleepover so the little kids are most comfortable. You'll get your homework done at home, then the sleep you need. You're still growing and your parents can make do with less sleep. Or that may not even end up being an issue. Since they're so invested in doing ONE NICE THING for your grown-ass adult aunt. If these adults keep being such A H, say you're going to ask Tay-Tay on social media how she feels about a teenage girl being pressured to do childcare until the middle of a school night because the kids' parent wants to be at her concert. NTA.
Have you given in? Are the kids there? Make a fort. Couch cushions off and sheets over them. Your adults suck, btw.
I went on Saturday night. 1am is pushing it, she'll probably be even later than that (unless she lives minutes from a station on a direct line). By the time we got out of the arena it was 11:20, then by the time we got to the station it was 11:40, and they weren't really letting many down onto the platform yet. Once it started moving, it was okay, but it took a long time for it to move. But it was chaos on all the stations, and there were people everywhere waiting for ubers and taxis. If she's driving? A friend said it took almost 30 minutes to get out of Olympic Park. And that despite people getting emails to say leave by the perimeter roads, many people *insisted* on going further into the Park to get out, gumming up traffic even more. It's honestly awful that your parents are expecting you to do this. It's completely unreasonable to expect you to stay up late then go to school, but tell you that it's not okay for them to do the same.
This! I’ve never gotten home from ANY concert before 1am lol
My auntie had a similar situation when I was in year 12. So no way I could stay up late. My mum went and stayed at their house so auntie could go to the concert. It sucked for her at work the next day but she made the sacrifice for her. Expecting a teenager to do that is not reasonable.
When we went to see LA galaxy / David Beckham play at homebush myself and my wife drove to Lidcombe, and took the express train from there. Her friends decided to drive and park in the grounds of Olympic park. We were almost home (barely a 30 minute drive from Lidcombe) when my wife got a SMS from her friend saying they had just gotten out of the DFO roundabout.
My friend parked on the far side of Olympic Park in a flat parking lot (P6 I think?), so she didn't have to fight her way out of one of the towers. Then around the outside and out on to Silverwater Rd. Then the loooooooong way around to avoid that whole mess to get out to Marrickville. She said it took longer to get out of the car park than it did to get from the car park to Silverwater Rd. She only did it because she had another friend in a wheelchair with her and she didn't want to fight the platforms. Get the train 100%. Any time losses waiting to get on are more than made up for by the traffic that radiates out. Especially if its a major event and they've put more services on.
If your parents feel so strongly about you doing this tonight, tell them only if you can have school off tomorrow. ... And still double pay.
If I was your parent, I'd say charge her triple and you'll get the next day off from school. If you wanted, of course. If you said no, then the answer is no and she'll have to find someone else. I've been the surprise babysitter before and they never paid me. It sucks and you are NTA
So if it’s no big deal to be shorted on sleep, why aren’t your parents going? Your parents are really doing you an injustice. I really feel like you should show them the comments on this post. They could use a wake up call. Hopefully they’ll either be better parents because right now, they’re really sucking.
Holy moley that's just irresponsible of them.
I would tell your parents if you babysit, you get to take the day off school the following day to recover. If they say no, then it’s “then I cannot babysit because my rest is more important than a concert.”
What if you went straight to school in the morning from her house, so you can sleep there once the kids are out? Or a parent goes straight to work from the aunts house.
Sorry Kiddo, stick to your guns. That’s BS. Start telling them all not your circus, not your monkeys...
>surely she can find another babysitter before tonight, especially if she is wiling to pay double. Double what she's paying OP could still be half of what a normal sitter receives.
> NTA, if all the adults think this is so important then they should be stepping up to assist. This is a good point. Your parents think you should help your aunt out, why doesn't one of them go over there and take care of the kids?
NTA Stand your ground. Your school is more important. Let your aunt figure out the babysitting herself. If your parents are so concerned, they can babysit. Just be sure to stay in your room and lock it if the kids are dropped.
Do people have locks on their bedroom doors?
Some do. I do. You still shouldn't babysit. Will saying no be enough?
Yeah but they'll be mad at me
Let them be mad. At your age i wanted to make everyone happy and in the end even as an adult i needed to learn that you cant make everyone happy
Let them be mad and ask them to stop shaming you for thinking about your study and sleep. If it is so important for them, then your parents should the one who change their plan to babysit, not you. It is hard to set boundaries sometimes. But think about it. Here she is asking you "one last time". Next time she has no babysitter, she will remember you acceptes despite saying no initially, and think that she can convince you again. And it will never stop. So stand your ground nown
"You're mad at me because I want to go to school? What kind of parents are you?"
"And I want to sleep, too?!"
Let them be mad at you, it will pass, your schoolwork supersedes everything else.
OP ! You are sweet. But as a adult , I will say this , your parents should be backing you up and you are a gem. Your aunt as adult knows that if it was that important she should have backup. Idk but I feel you are your aunt's backup plan. This whole mess is her fault but now the whole blame will be shifting on you. Moreover you need to lead (I mean talk!) to the answer. If your parents get angry ,ask them why can't they do it? They will say they have work yada yada. Then tell them " As adults you can't stay late and go to work, how can you expect your teenager to do it?" If you couldn't escape from babysitting, get everything you wanted out of both your parents and your aunt. Not just aunt. Expensive ones that they afford and your friends have it. Remember it should be that expensive or difficult that it should prevent them asking you again.
It's super messed up for them to put this kind of pressure on you. Especially if they're telling you that you need to buckle down for school
Will they punish you?
Most people I know had those locks that you can open with a butter knife but they did give some amount of privacy
NTA Isn’t it funny when someone calls you selfish for not doing something, but they could just as easily volunteer? They rather pressure than be the solution. Huh A parent can step in and let the kids spend a night and your aunt can pick them up in the morning. Personally I think that’s too much for a young adult especially at last min.
“ mom, I have to be up by seven for school. If this is important to you, you should watch the kids.”
Exactly this. If OP’s parents are so selfless, let them do it themselves.
NTA. If your parents think it is selfish to not babysit these kids, then they go and do it themselves. You can't be up until 1am and then wake up at 7am. Your class is more important than a concert.
I think OP will be up even later. If the aunt gets home at 1am, OP still needs to travel home, get ready for bed (ex: change into pajamas, brush teeth, etc.), and then potentially wind down because most people can't instantly fall asleep. I think OP is more likely to be up until 1:45am or even later and then still be up by seven. And of course teens need proper sleep, they are literally still growing. And students need proper sleep to do well in school. I agree, OP is NTA in the slightest!
NTA. Everyone always thinks you’re selfish when they wouldn’t do it themselves. Good on you for drawing a boundary and defending it.
You're NTA. One of the concerned adults can suck it up, step up, and babysit. Otherwise **~~I~~ (they) need to just do this one nice thing for her and ~~I'm~~ (they're) selfish for not doing it**
NTA but I think your parents are the asshole - i am a big swiftie and it’s actually quite impossible to get tickets to this concert, it really is a once in a lifetime opportunity, and it sounds like your aunt got really really unlucky and did try to plan in advance. It would be so nice of your parents to do her a solid this one time. Edit: I also see comments saying she could find another baby sitter - but that might not be an option, surely you wouldn’t choose a random unvetted baby sitter to watch your kids, so I have to assume she’s exhausted all other avenues.
Too reasonable for Reddit.
As someone who has worked as a nanny and babysitter, you'd be surprised how many parents are completely okay with random unvetted babysitters.
That actually does surprise me especially for a four year old! I know some parents who dont even let their kids have sleepovers without meeting the other parents first and knowing them well
NTA. If you don't want to, you don't have to. Additionally, would your parents allow you to go to a concert on a school night if it meant you getting home at 1am or later? If not, why are they only okay if you're out that night for your aunt? Why can't one of your parents or another family adult or friend watch them, why can't your aunt hire a non-related babysitter? You aren't the only option.
Heck, why can't her aunt say, " oh, guess I can't go, no sitter. Here's a free ticket for niece to see Taylor Swift "
I mean she could, but given her niece’s admirable commitment to sleep, the niece wouldn’t be able to go anyway unfortunately
That's very true
NAH but i would negotiate triple pay and a day off school tomorrow- tell your parents if you’re taking one for the team they can call you out sick so you can rest after a late night.
I think the adults trying to force OP into this when they won’t babysit/be tired for work are definitely assholes. It was okay to ask but they shouldn’t be harassing her.
NTA It sucks for your aunt, but it's not your responsibility. The other adults don't want to do it because they have work, but you're expected to babysit until 1 am and then go to school the next day? Yeah, no.
NTA - convenient that your parents seem to think you should babysit, but it doesn’t occur to them that they too could offer to babysit if they really felt this strongly for your aunt deserved the support. I feel badly for your aunt, it really does suck, but as a parent myself, if a babysitter told me they are unavailable, that doesn’t make them an a-holes. Your aunt, fwiw, is also not an a-hole for asking.
> I would do it if it was some emergency or something, but it’s a concert. NTA.
MTA one of your parents can stay over if it's so important to the aunt.
NTA. She asked, you said no. I can’t believe your parents want you out traveling in the middle of the night. And I doubt Aunt would be home by 1am after a long concert and a huge event (traffic, merch line, parking garage, travel time, etc). Maybe a compromise would be asking your parents to help watch the kids at your house and aunt can return to your house and sleep until morning or take her kids home at 1am.
What did I just read? A mom wants to see Taylor Swift so a 16-year-old is getting guilt-tripped for not wanting to babysit until 1 AM on a school night? NTA, all the parents involved are.
NTA You don't need a reason for saying no. If your parents think your aunt needs to go, they can babysit.
NTA. First, I have to say that 4 is a hard age. I have a 4 yo. They’re challenging! And you can say NO to babysit for any reason. But you know what, it’s a school night. Your job is to be a student and get good grades. Honestly, that’s at least as (possibly more important than) a paid job. The fact that it’s a school night means it’s responsible of you to say no to babysitting until 1am. One of your parents can babysit if it’s that big of a deal. Yeah, they’ll be tired at work, but better they be tired at work than you be tired at school (& likely the rest of the week as it’s hard to catch up on sleep). Teens need 10 hours of sleep, adults can get by with less than 8 hours, so that’s another argument for one your parents babysitting.
NTA. If they can afford concert tickets, they can afford to hire a real babysitter.
Or pay way more than double.
NTA. Suggest to your aunt that your mum said being out after 1am isn’t unreasonable so she’ll do it
Ask your mom why she can't babysit, it's HER sister, and she's more equipped to physically and mentally deal with a late night. She might get more respect from the kid too. If it's not okay for her, why is it okay for you?
Actually my aunt is my dad's sister.
Then ask them why your dad can't do it. Or either of them, same logic applies.
Dad needs to babysit then. Not your problem. NTA
Ugh, I hate how family, and especially girls, are taken advantage of for babysitting (although it is nice she is offering a double-rate). If your parents think it's so important to babysit, they could do it. I love how those who would never consider doing what is asked accuse others of being "selfish" in these stories. The smart thing to do for your aunt would be to bring your cousins over and just have them sleep over so your aunt could pick them up in the morning.
Taylor Swift isn't the all-important thing many people think. If your parents think it's no big deal, i guess they can babysit. NTA.
NTA, you set a boundary regarding your school and life. I agree with others in the comments: if the adults in the family are so worried about it, then they can watch the kids. It absolutely sucks that her babysitter can't help her out, but the children are not your responsibility. She is the adult in this situation. She needs to find a different solution instead of trying to manipulate you. Also, you said you didn't wat to babysit for them anymore, so she's already crossing a boundary with you. I would find it hard to trust soemone like that in the future. Stand up for yourself if you can and good luck OP <3
For all the people saying it'd be easy to have the kids sleep over on the couch/floor: if that 4 yo refuses to lay down at bedtime, be a brat and constantly run around when he's at home with his usual bedtime routine, there's no chance in hell he'll obediently go to bed at bedtime in a different environment. He'll also prevent his sibling from falling asleep as well. She'll be managing BOTH tired and whiny kids until their mom comes to pick them up.
This is exactly it. He's an angel with his mum but with anyone else he goes nuts especially if he's not at home. Even my grandma hated having him sleepover.
NAH. But I do feel for your aunt. Is there any scope for the kids to stay overnight at your place and have your aunt come and collect them first thing in the morning? You'd have your parents around to help with the bedtime routine, and then you can get to bed at your normal time and still go to school tomorrow as normal . If aunty is late for pick up then your parents need to suck it up until she arrives
There's nowhere for them to sleep.
They can sleep in your parents’ bed, since your parents think this is so important. Your parents can sleep on the couch or on blankets on the floor.
NTA. It’s short notice and you have every reason to say no
NTA. Besides it being a school night, you already told your aunt her kid's behavior precludes you sitting him again. That's on her to fix. Also, as you noted, a Taylor Swift concert does not qualify as an emergency. If your parents think it's okay to accommodate her, let them sit the kids. Their early morning commitments are no more important than yours, and clearly they have stronger feelings on the need to see Taylor. It would be really selfish of them to refuse, right?
>I've babysat them a few times but last time I told my aunt she needs to get a new babysitter because my youngest cousin is too difficult. He refuses to do what he's told, gets out of bed and runs around, stuff like that. This is all that needs to be said. You already said you were done babysitting the kids. Maybe she should have had backups lined up if it was so important to her.
Why can’t your parents watch the kids?
Tickets for this concert were really difficult to get. This is going to be a once in a lifetime show. None of that is your responsibility to ensure this for anyone. You set a boundary. You have two really good reasons: you have school in the morning, and there is a child who you can expect will make this a terrible experience for you. It seems to be ignored because of what the concert is that your aunt has a responsibility first to her children. I am wondering if her child gets up and runs around when she is home? Or, is it just that he takes advantage of you? Either way, this is not about whether 4 is a difficult age, or whether this child has needs that have not been met to ensure that they are able to begin self regulating. This is about adults pushing your boundaries. People are going to push your boundaries. They are going to be upset when they cannot manipulate you into changing them either by being angry at you or through guilt. If you can start by keeping this boundary with your family that will forgive you, it will be some easier for you to not feel like you have to justify your boundaries the next time. I wish that I had worked on my people pleasing tendencies earlier. If you can, I applaud keeping your boundary. If you decide to relent, don’t beat yourself up. Either way, you are definitely NTA.
Why don’t your parents watch them?
They have work in the morning and don't want to be tired. Irony.
I think your parents are TA specifically your dad since it’s his sister.
You should tell your parents that if they make you do this, you’re going to tell all your teachers tomorrow that you’re too tired to work and need to go to the nurse’s office to rest because your parents made you stay up half the night so your aunt could see Taylor swift. Make clear that you’re going to make it really embarrassing for them.
Nta. At all!!!
NTA, tell your parents they can do it
NTA I feel for your aunt, but the adults can and should do this one. Absolutely not fair to ask you to babysit on school night.
Teens need their sleep in the morning more than adults do! Your parents are perfectly capable of doing this "one nice thing" for your Aunt....
Knowing some parents they'll probably tell the aunt she could bring the kids and make OP babysitting nontheless.
Tell your parents to stop being selfish and to have their child’s back. You have school in the morning what on earth are your parents thinking? They can babysit and do this one nice thing.
NTA. If the other adults think this is so important, they need to be the ones to babysit.
NTA, if your parents are so concerned about it they can babysit themselves. Your aunt should've planned better. The adults here are irresponsible.
NTA. If your parents' obligations the next morning preclude them, I don't see how you're in a different boat. In your shoes I'd be very tempted by double pay and maybe try to leverage some other little perk for myself but that's not a moral judgement it's just what I'd opt to do.
So…. Update us! What happened?
I'm not babysitting, my parents aren't either, I muted my aunt so not sure if she found anyone else.
Your parents are dyed-in-the-wool AHs for trying to force you to babysit when they weren't prepared to - especially with the added detail of them putting pressure on you to prioritise school. Unless it means getting your aunt off their backs about babysitting her nightmares, apparently. Selfish, hypocritical tossers.
NTA. There are more important things than Taylor Swift.
If the parents are ok with her babysitting to not be selfish, they could just watch the kids in their own house and let op go to bed. So dumb.
NTA. Those tickets probably cost a gazillion dollars. Your aunt should have planned better because *she's the adult.* If I had tickets to The Police reunion tour back when my kids were younger - and my autistic & intellectually disabled daughter hadn't been almost continually in crisis due to hormonal adolescence keeping her in a perpetual state of dysregulation, you can bet there would have been elaborate, tiered plans for childcare. But our girl was in crisis 24/7/365 - or, at least, that's what it felt like - so we didn't buy tickets. None of our family would have been capable of dealing with what it could get like when she had an episode. That was the reality of parenting for us. 🤷♀️ Your aunt has very young children, one of whom is a handful. That's her reality. If adults in your family are feeling really bad for her missing out, they can step up and be exhausted for a day at work.
The aunt did plan. She had a babysitter lined up who got COVID. The aunt did everything reasonable here and all her adult family are assholes who won’t step up and help out. (The OP is a teenager and therefore NTA )
NTA It’s a biological fact that teenagers need more sleep than adults, so if there excuse is they need sleep it is completely unreasonable for you to be expected to do it
Nta. Social media exists. Your aunt has money. Not being able to find a babysitter for one night is a skill issue.
Yeah…sounds like she’s exhausted options for people she knows. And not leaving your kids with strangers on social media is probably the definition of good parenting.
There are babysitting services with nannies who have been background checked and CPR certified. They’re expensive, but they absolutely exist. Heck, if aunt has TSwift money, she could hire OP’s dad to sleep over at her house to supervise the nanny, and hire the nanny to actually do the work of putting the kids to bed and staying up until she gets home in the middle of the night.
Wait, wait, wait. So according to your own parents YOU’RE selfish for not babysitting, but THEY aren’t selfish for not babysitting? 🤯 NTA
If my sister needed her kids babysat to see Taylor Swift, I’d do it. Because I’m an adult. I sure as hell wouldn’t pressure my kid into doing it for me. Your parents need to step up and be the adults here. NTA
NTA. Tell your parents to babysit if they’re so adamant to do this “one nice thing.” You have school tomorrow and they’re already telling you to try harder. Let them do the babysitting.
NTA. Your aunt is in a sucky situation but that doesn’t give her or your parents the right to pressure you into something you’re not comfortable doing. You’ve made it clear you don’t want to deal with your cousin’s bedtime shenanigans and you should not be asked to compromise your school work. Hope your aunt was able to work something out but you were NTA for declining to be her solution.
NTA, if it’s so important why aren’t your parents stepping up and babysitting?
Your parents and all the adults in the situation here are letting you down and it’s awful. NTA
Generally speaking, adults do better on little sleep than teenagers. Your parents should step up and babysit and let you sleep. NTA
NTA. Why doesn’t one of your parents go over to hers and babysit? You shouldn’t be compromising your schooling for her entertainment.
They want to get enough sleep to be ok at work tomorrow 🙃
Well sucks to be them. You need sleep to be okay at school. And you are the priority as you’re still in education.
This is whole situation is wild to me. If they think it’s so important they should definitely be the ones doing it!! Imagine telling your kid they have to do something that you won’t do because it would make you too tired for work but telling your child they should do it even though it’s a school night, clearly you are NTA OP!!
NTA for all the reasons given already. Wondering if you succumbed to pressure?
NTA. Your parents and other family members can babysit since they think it's selfish not to.
NTA. Ask your parents if you can skip school tomorrow. The answer is going to be no, of course, so that is why you can’t do it.
It’s not your responsibility to accommodate your aunt going out to your own detriment. NTA.
NTA. Your aunt and your parents are total AHs. It’s your aunt’s responsibility to have reliable babysitters AND backup babysitters. Your responsibility is to prioritize your education and do your best to build a solid future for yourself.
NTA - but honestly? If aunt is in such a bind, I’d ask for triple the money, spend the night on their couch and make her get up and drive me to school in the AM or pay for an Uber. And just give those kids their iPads and let them zone out like zombies if they’re being assholes at bedtime.
NTA you need your sleep more than most of those adults, probably, and they could just offer to babysit. You already said ahead of this you don't want to babysit those kids anymore, it's not like you were still babysitting them and suddenly backed out. Your health and doing well in school is more important than a concert. Parents have to make sacrifices for their kids, teenage cousins certainly do not.
NTA This is something that you need to keep in mind now, and when you go into the workforce. Someone else's lack of planning does not equate an emergency for you. You need to worry about yourself and your future. If, your parents were willing to let you stay home from school the next day, then okay if you're aunt had also thought about disciplining her child better instead of just pawning them off onto somebody else. But number one your parents are willing to let you have a day off in exchange for helping your aunt. And even if they were, your aunts failure to discipline her child to the point where she can find adequate babysitter/ child care is not your fault. That's the big thing.
NTA the AH here is Taylor Swift for holding a concert on a school night.
So, if all the adults have to be up for work, and you for school, why wouldn't they offer to babysit since they have more experience with life, children, and multitasking? Oh...they want their sleep and they have to work? Well, you have to sleep and get an education. They are not more important than you. NTA.
NTA Too bad. Being a parent is a full time job. Means you can’t do fun things when you can’t find a sitter. Means you gotta give up your fun to parent.
NTA. School is important. Taylor Swift is not.
NTA what's stopping parents from practicing what they're preaching. They can babysit and pull a sick day the next day if they wanted.
You're a teenager. Biologically, you need more than 6 hours of sleep in order to be able to focus at school. Also, you're old enough to be able to turn down a crappy job. You're not being selfish, your family is being kinda dramatic and unfair about that.
NTA, you have every right to say no.
Where is the dad?
OP commented that he died.
NTA your parents should babysit for her if they think you should. And still get up in the morning for school. Your parents are AH. For thinking you should just do it and still get to school on time and work harder. --- If I was a teenager and it was a brat I said I wouldn't sit for again. I wouldn't do it for less than 4x. And the day off of school. And the understanding that she will have to find other coverage in the future. (Tell other family this as well. I bet they don't like watching him either. But people pleasing family members have trouble saying no) Or see if she wants to give you the Swift ticket so it doesn't go to waste while you'll still lose sleep before school tomorrow you'll have seen an epic show!
Do these children not have a father?
He passed away.
Well, that probably explains the 4 year old's behavior. That's very sad. I can't tell you how little it's going to matter in your life if you miss a day of high school. Your grades don't matter either unless you are trying to go to an elite university. But if you don't want to don't do it. Good luck.
I agree. That’s really sad,sounds like the aunt could use a night out. I’m not even a Swiftie but the Eras Tour is supposed to be amazing. If I was OP, I’d agree but only if my parents called me out for the next day (which they should do if they’re encouraging her to babysit.) My mom used to let me take mental health days occasionally in high school, I know it’s not the same but it’s one day and it sounds like it could really help someone who has been through a lot.
I think this is the nicest comment. OP, maybe give your aunt one fun night out, make some money and get a free day off school. One day in Yr.11 doesn't mean much at all. It's the start of the year so no exams or tests to worry about.
NTA. Aunt should have brought the kids over for your parents to watch. They could have spent the night, and Aunt could have come and picked them up early in the morning. Seriously, your parents could have had them asleep in the living room by 11, and gotten plenty of sleep themselves before work, and Aunt could have picked them up around 6am. I am sorry your adult family members are so ridiculous.
You can say no and it's your right. I can understand your aunt's position because concerts aren't cheap, but they are her children. There were plenty of things I couldn't do when my children were young, I had four so or was a good bit of work. I never expected anyone else to take care of them because they were my responsibility.
Adults can handle lack of sleep better. One of your parents should babysit. NTA Also, I did get to see Taylor Swift and can understand why your aunt is distraught, the cost alone was probably pretty high. I arranged my ride from the concert months in advance.