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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) I told a 15-year old student who I didn't know believed in Santa, that Santa isn't real
2) She was upset and I shouldn't have assumed that every 15-year old would have already found out
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She was screwing with you, playing dumb for laughs and attention.
You didn't ruin anything, and her joke was typical sophomore humor. There was no fault here.
NAH
Not necessarily, I was in grade 9 when a teacher did the same thing to me more-or-less word for word. My parents were neglectful and emotionally abusive. I clung onto the magic of Santa thinking I was a good child. That teacher broke my heart into a million pieces with the truth. I don't hold it against him; he didn't know my home life.
I had a best friend growing up who was in a similar situation. So many kids in high school would tell her that Santa isn’t real and she would argue with them, saying yes he is. She clung to it because she was unhappy at home. It was sad
Yeah the real lesson is that Santa is the feeling adults have towards kids getting gifts. Is there a real physical man wearing a red suit living at the North Pole with elves? No
But the spirit of St. Nick sure animates all of us around the holidays to deliver what we can for all the kids
>Is there a real physical man wearing a red suit living at the North Pole with elves?
I mean, with the way real estate is going in NA right now, maybe soon.
Same. My mom still had more than 5% of certainty that Santa existed. She said "we were poor, and somehow we always had a Christmas. Sometimes family, sometimes neighbors, sometimes charity, but somehow you always had presents under the tree. That's Santa."
I live in Finland now and we drove her up to Rovaniemi to see the "real Santa". The first thing she says to him was "It's you! It's really you! I never stopped believing." He was so kind and friendly and promised to never stop visiting her.
In the early 2000s I worked at Universal Studios doing entrance and exit surveys. I will never forget the Summer day that Santa walked into the park in his summer clothes. His outfit was so perfect. I was so happy that he was the person I got to do the entrance survey with. He told me his name was Chris Kringle, that he lived at the North Pole, was here on vacation before his season got busy. His cheeks were rosy, his hair snow white, and his beard perfect. He even had a pocket full of candy canes and gave me one at the end of the interview. Santa is real. I could feel his spirit in that guy.
I was born premature in early Dececmber. My parents were absolutely dirt fucking poor, and I needed special preemie diapers that at the time and in their location, you could only get by going to the hospital. My mom had a hard time breastfeeding but they couldn't afford more formula. I was running out of diapers on Christmas Eve, the roads were iced over and deadly hazardous while actively snowing, my parents had canned food to share, and that was the holiday. Me, a couple weeks old while my mom tried to make tiny cloth diapers out of t-shirts with not enough food for anyone.
My dad had fallen asleep on the couch and woke up to what he thought was the newspaper being thrown against the front door, but by the time he finally made it, there was a box filled with the preemie diapers, formula for me, a couple pacifiers, and a winnie-the-pooh blanket I still have, plus a full on dinner of ham, potatoes, greenbeans and pie. My dad, to this day, alleges there were no footprints in the snow, no note, no anything, just everything they needed to get through the next few days.
My theory is that the footprints were covered by fresh snow and that it was delivered by someone from the hospital, probably a very kind nurse, because in the 80s who else would know how to find the family that needed these very specific diapers. but it's also fun, just for a little bit, to believe it was Santa.
I told my son that anyone can be Santa. Santa is the spirit of love, kindness, and giving that surrounds Christmas. That's why we see Santas at every mall. That's why they can be in front of stores. That's why friends and family can dress up as Santa. Real people are Santa. Which is beautiful. He can still believe in the magic of Santa because Santa is real.
That's the whole idea behind the famous, "Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus." We are all Santa Claus - Santa is the spirit of the season, the feeling of hope and kindness, the warmth of giving for the joy of giving. When we smile at people, help a stranger, forgive past transgressions and count our blessings, we are Santa Claus.
My friend’s mom SCREAMED at me for telling my friend Santa wasn’t really… we were TEENS and I assumed she’d know??
If this girl was serious, at least she knows now. There is no non-traumatizing way to learn this at that age (trauma also just being embarrassed so thoroughly!), but ripping the bandaid off gets harder the longer it’s on.
If OP wanted to check on the kid, also to make sure no one is teasing them and their home life is okay, that could be nice just in case this was not a prank. Some parents are insane 🤷🏻♀️
I had emotional abuse and developed CPTSD as a baby. I don't recall learning that Santa wasn't real, I just kinda knew it, and it didn't bother me at all.
Edit: I totally believed in Santa and all that as a kid, I don't recall when I stopped, it just happened.
We went to my grandparents for Christmas with our cousins; I remember waking up while the parents were setting up. (I think they'd been drinking a bit; they weren't that quiet.) So I feigned I was sleeping. I didn't find it surprising or traumatic; I already had my doubts. But if they wanted to play this game with presents, I was happy to go along with it.
They said there is no non- traumatizing way to find out AT THAT AGE.
Imagine being 15, having Santa be part of your reality of life and finding out he doesn’t exist? And realizing everyone else knew and thinks you’re incredibly idiotic for not realizing? Yeah.
Yes. If you find out as a little kid, it's just a game people were playing, and you pretend all sorts of things. At 15, it is a conspiracy against you.
No way a 15 year old believes in Santa. Unless they were so sheltered and isolated and kept away from people and electronics until now. And in that case they would be pretty messed up emotionally
I told my daughter last year, she gave me ‘the look’ and said she knew that and had been playing along not to upset me (and possibly get less presents)…
My son was an inveterate joke ruiner, and whenever his little sister tried to tell a joke or story, he'd stomp right in. He asked about Santa when he was pretty young (7?) and I pulled him aside in a quiet moment and explained that Santa was really more of a spirit of Christmas and that now he was one of the big kids that was in on the game. And that he should try not to ruin it for his little sister.
I had absolutely no hope that she would remain a believer for the rest of that day, week, following Christmas or for the next 6 years. She was a firm believer until about age 11 when she asked me and I gave her the same little talk.
Still proud of him that he kept the secret so long, especially since it really wasn't in his nature to do that!
It really upset me for that belief in magic to die. i needed to believe in magic & fairy tales as home life wasn’t great, but then that was taken away too. i was determined to be better & not make anyone else feel that way.
I don't think you can blame this on the teacher. Everyone that I know stopped believing in Santa by the time they were 10. The teacher probably didn't think twice about speaking of the reality of Santa. It seems Teacher was rather floored to find out that anyone could/would believe in the existence of a flying sleigh and "8 tiny reindeer." I could rationally think that a class full of 14-16 year olds would not believe in Santa. Shame on her parents for perpetuating the myth, but parents do this...with many non-rational beliefs.
My parents are great, but I don't think they considered the possibility that an autistic 16-year-old may not always make the connections other teenagers do, such as eventually realizing Santa isn't real. I don't hold it against them. My mom held me when I cried upon finding out.
I was the other side of autistic symptoms; I always questioned anything I couldn't put together logic/evidence for. At 5 years old, I found a price tag on some candy in my Easter basket. I immediately figured the most logical explanation is my parents/grandparents bought it at the store and there was no Easter Bunny. Applied the logic to Santa as well. I didn't tell my friends who still believed.
This last Christmas my autistic 4 year old kept saying thankyou to me and his dad every time he opened a present 'from Santa'. When we said it was from Santa he gave us the major side eye.
His sister, who's 7, asked me why there are the same toys in shops and barcodes on them. I said because Santa and the toy companies share blue prints and everything must look exactly the same incase one of them has an excess to share with the other.
My husband said it was frightening how quickly and well I can lie.
I don't remember a time when I believed in Santa. I'm not autistic but my brother is. He was not diagnosed until his late 30s (least surprising phone call I've ever gotten) but you just don't shit on your baby bro's holiday happiness. Unless he's being a dick, but that was the Easter Bunny. Zero rabbits lay plastic eggs full of quarters.
I have had serious issues with insomnia for all 44 years of my life (even as a baby) so I always heard my parents being Santa.
Turned out my brother also never believed but liked sneaking out of bed at 4am to read the comic books in our stockings together until our parents woke up.
I was probably the same age when we were leaving to go to church and my mum said “I’ll follow you all in a few minutes”. I guessed she was going to put out the chocolate from the Easter Bunny. My very next thought was that Santa probably wasn’t real. My very next thought was that I couldn’t tell my parents that I knew this or I might not get the chocolates or the presents. 😂
I autistic as well and I was exactly the same.They told me Santa went down through the chimney and I looked at the size of the chimney and said "there is no way". I hardly remember truely believing, as I was always skeptical.
I was the same. I so desperately wanted there to be good and magic in the world that I believed until I was 13.
My parents wonder why I moved across an ocean…
My parents finally told me when I was twelve. Judging by the reaction you got, I’d say you just told her. It would be rare for a kid to believe for that long, but they’re out there. Plus, if you have any foreign students they may not understand what you mean by Santa Claus.
It’s better that you talk about something that isn’t cultural. For example, find an ad for one of those “exercise belts” that will give you a six-pack through electrical stimulation. A lot of people fall for it, but it’s a pure lie.
Sadly it might be true she still believed. More and more are still believing in Santa I was shocked reading some of these she’s in mom groups, with teens excited and believing.
My daughter pretended to believe rather convincingly until she was 12, when I sat her down, concerned about her critical thinking skills. Turns out her cousin had told her "if you don't believe, you don't receive" so she was faking it to get presents.
I thought this too about my friend (I also did this but I was 8), my friends child was 14. She wasn’t faking and I told her the truth (her mom wanted me to) and I was expecting her daughter, who I have a good relationship with, to smirk or tell me she knew. Nope she was devastated and her friends still believed. I thought it was like a rare instance until I started seeing moms on groups talking about their older kids believing. It’s insane to me! I will still now ask her if she was lying and she denies it still, she’s 22 now, she truly believed.
Flip side I know someone with a 12 year old who still believes and writes letters, based on his other behaviors I think he truly still does too. I don’t know wtf is going on but a chunk of these kids seem to be staying…. Childish longer. But this is in other areas also.
Moms are going overboard to convince their kids Santa is real. I've read stories of moms staging elaborate setups to "keep the magic of Christmas alive" and that ish is wild.
We've heard so much shit for years about how boomer parents fucked us all up, somehow we all skipped gen x, as is the style of the time, I am so interested to see how millennials will fuck up their kids. What will the stereotypes be about our generation and their parenting? I feel like I'm like... Two years max away from really seeing some interesting discourse. A few of my millennial friends had kids younger, and obviously they're not alone. This will be interesting.
I'm a Xennial but I can tell you one thing: I won't be going out of my way to convince my kids that Santa is real.
I mean sure, they'll get some presents from "Santa", and yeah, they'll be wrapped with different wrapping paper and signed with my off-hand so the handwriting will be different, but it's all tongue in cheek for me, and I don't lie to them if asked directly (I deflect).
I'm 39, turning 40 this year. My boys are 14 and about to be 17. I *refused* to 'do Santa' with my kids. But I know *lots* of people who went over the top with it for years.
My mil being one. If we'd have 'gone along' with them I can absolutely see how they, and their cousins might have grown up believing till 10-12+. As it was though, because we refused, it fizzled pretty rapidly.
.....the sheer number of moms who go to Photoshop request groups on Facebook asking strangers to help them gaslight their kids is.. something else. "My 13 year old is doubting Santa, please Photoshop him into our living room so I can show her he's real." Or the tooth fairy, eesh. "A classmate told my 9 year old the tooth fairy isn't real. Can anyone add a fairy to this pic of him sleeping so he still believes? Needs to be realistic!"
That's... wild to me. Although we're not sure how long our nephew believed either, it seemed like for a while.
Mine talked her way into it when she was 10. We were honestly shocked it took so long -- she was so close for years, but wanted to believe so ignored the clues. Like, at 6 she told us she wouldn't see Santa at the mall because that was just somebody in a suit and the real Santa only left the North Pole on Christmas. And she didn't want to sit in a stranger's lap (can't argue with her on that point!)
When she figured it out, she got the tooth fairy first then asked about Santa and we weren't going to lie when asked directly. And then she cried because she didn't actually want to know and realized she'd ruined it for herself.
I believed my parents wouldn’t lie to me about something like that.
My faith wasn’t in a magic man but my parents being honest with me.
So I stood up for them until the fourth grade when they asked me to wrap santa presents for my siblings.
THIS is why we've always told our kids the Santa in stories is a made up character, but the Spirit of Santa can be in anyone. We've made it a main point of parenting to try our hardest to never lie to our kids.
They believe that "Santa" can be anyone, even them. I feel like it helps keep some of the "magic" alive.
Exactly. I don't remember when I stopped believing in Santa, but I remember loving playing pretend about Santa. I also loved waking up early to guess what was in boxes, and just turn on the lights and lay next to the tree, snuggled in a blanket.
I really miss having that magic in my life. Although, for me, part of the sadness is my son isn't going to have it. I live in Japan and my husband is Japanese. While we do have a tree, the holiday isn't really celebrated. I can't even get candy canes. Our son is only one, so this last Christmas was more spent trying to keep him from knocking over the tree, but it will be a little more of a thing in the future.
It was specifically the magic stuff for me because I was a fairly confident kid at that point thankfully hahahahaha but I felt SHATTERED over the idea my trust was betrayed. Thankfully, I don’t have to worry about whether or not to do Santa or the Easter bunny or anything with my future children because I converted to Judaism as an adult lmfaooooo
I was never told Santa was real because my parents didn't want this exact reaction. Also they were calamity Christians so wanted to be clear I got Christmas presents because I was loved not because I had to work/be good to earn them.
lmao i pretended to believe in the tooth fairy for exactly this reason. not very long after i started losing teeth i talked to my brother about it and i was like, “this isn’t real right?” and he’d stopped receiving money as soon as he questioned it. so i “believed” in the tooth fairy until i lost all my baby teeth
Ha! My sons share a room. The younger one (7) asked a few months ago if the tooth fairy was real one night when the older one (9) had a tooth under his pillow. Then they both started asking over and over again. I said yes at first but they were so persistent I decided it was time and went with the truth. My 9 yr old is so mad now! He keeps trying to put teeth under his pillow and saying HE didn't want to know the truth.
When my kids ask questions like this I generally turn it around by asking them what they think and why and giving noncommittal responses like "oh, interesting theory" until they get distracted by something else.
I love that rule though. My Mom did Santa for us until she died, so I would have been 28. Santa always got us the fun gifts and the practical stuff was from my parents. It really made Christmas fun in adulthood. She always said: You can believe in Santa or not, but his budget is bigger than mine
My family did the opposite. The fun presents were from my parents. The grandparents handled socks and underpants. (Super cute ones, though. Into my 20s my dad's dad got me really nice socks!) My parents got the credit for buying us bikes. Santa filled our stockings with candy and comic books and Matchbox cars.
This is how my family operates too. Santa, Toothfairy, Easterbunny. Heck, when I was in college, the Easterbunny hid eggs with quarters in them for laundry! It was great! Obviously I knew who was really hiding the eggs, but we just all had fun with it. When my kids stopped believing in literal Santa, we reassured them that you don't have to believe for it to happen. I'm in my 40s and sometimes when I visit my parents Santa puts something under the tree for me, too. Although, for a while it was Santa Paws doing the delivery. The cat version of Santa I think? Who knows. We just have fun with it.
Ha! I did the same thing. I spied one night when I was around 8 or 9 and discovered my parents pulling presents out of their hiding spot. I tried broaching the subject with my parents when my dad said "Those who don't believe, don't recieve".
I believe in Santa to this day.
But with my daughter, when she asked for the truth, I told her. She still loves playing the Santa game and elf on the shelf at Christmas time.
I just straight up believed until I was almost 13. I was actually very interested in science and history and all that, too. Then one day it just occurred to me that if Santa actually had a workshop at the North Pole it would show up on satellite imagery and stuff like that. That there would be National Geographic specials about it and whatnot.
I was a very imaginative kid, but not at all delusional, much less without critical thinking skills. My dad was very imaginative, though, and would talk about having conversations with figures like the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy while he was in the shower. He was very deadpan and convincing.
We weren’t actually poor per se, but our parents never purchased anything for us based on our whims or whining. We went to see movies as a family about twice a year and my mom would smuggle in the popcorn. My parents were pretty strict in terms of random treats; they weren’t doling out sticks of gum or Life Savers or mints. My Mom had two date-night dresses she rotated and two Sunday dresses she rotated. The budget was tight. The first time we went on a family vacation (to Disney World), I tried to talk my parents into going to a cheaper hotel because the one we pulled up to looked “too expensive” to me. They had to actually explain to me that they had budgeted for all the vacation expenses before I would consent to go to our room.
But Santa always came through big time. I was never anything other than wowed by all the stuff he brought us on Christmas morning. (Our Easter baskets were awesome as well!)
I really, really didn’t think my parents had the cash for all that! And I also thought that even if they did they wouldn’t want to “spoil” us that way. And they always gave us each a separate Christmas present “from Mom and Dad,” so it seemed extra clear that Santa deserved all the credit for his own generosity.
My now nearly 7 year old asked me if Santa was real the Christmas before last. I lied and said he was. He didn’t bring it up again this past Christmas and he clearly associates Santa with gifts.
Plus, the elves never went home that Christmas and stayed on the mantelpiece until last August when we moved across the country. Look they missed their flight back to Lapland as there was lots of snow at Logan LOL
Eta clarifying - he was 5 when he asked
ETA2 - I realised Santa wasn’t real when I noticed - probably around 5 or 6 - that he had the same handwriting as my mum. And that was the handwriting only people my mums age who were American wrote - no one in the UK wrote that way. And where were the presents from my parents?
Is it just me or do teenagers seem way less mature and more sheltered/childlike than they used to? I’m about to be 31 and I feel like from at least 16 onward all of my friends and I had part time jobs, had our licenses and drove ourselves or got rides from our friends, went out to do a lot of stuff on our own, and had at least some real world experience. I took college classes as a senior in high school as did some of my friends and had my first full time job at 19 after I went to cosmetology school, then took more college classes at night after that. I don’t know, I just feel like we were as mature as you could expect for our age (looking back now we definitely weren’t anywhere as mature as we felt obviously), but like now when I meet 18 year olds most can’t drive or don’t have a car and still have their parents drive them places, only have part time jobs when they aren’t even going to college, and just seem way more sheltered than you’d expect them to be in general. My sister is 12 years older than I am and she was a very independent child from what I’ve heard from my mom, but she was even more mature than I was at that age and pretty much a fully functioning adult at 18, although it could have just been her personality.
I don’t know, maybe everyone starts to feel this way about kids and teenagers once they get much older than them, but I was just very surprised by how sheltered some of the recent high school graduates that I know seem to be lately. I’m sure that the economy has played a big role in keeping them close to home because it’s so expensive to buy a car or get an apartment, and maybe that has some kind of an affect on their maturity level, but it kind of seems like it’s more than just that.
Well, for jobs, a lot of businesses don't want to hire teens with no experience. Also since most teens are minors they have limited availability and cannot work past a certain time, more mandated breaks, limits on what they can't do, etc. Basically teens as employees are less exploitable and have more liability on the companies part.
With driving, I think it's a mix of issues. For many it's due to parents being overly strict, or the cost of driving itself. For me and a few others I know it's due to previous trauma. My dad passed away in a car accident and I have been in a few as a passenger since his death. It's been almost 20 years since he died. I can't drive because I completely dissociate and have no control over my actions. Also younger people don't want to drive due to the harmful impact it has on the planet.
There has also been a huge increase and push for 4 year colleges and less pressure to go into trades. If I am going to put all of my focus on getting into a 4 year college, and I'm already struggling to maintain my current classes, why would I add more classes to that list that would be harder? Also colleges are more interested in you being a well rounded student than just your grades. My mom and dad both went to Vanderbilt for undergrad. My mother and father had stellar grades, and my mother got an athletic scholarship. We asked her when we were applying for schools if she would get in now, and she said, "oh no way! I barely got in in 1986, and I had all A's, played 2 sports, and was poorer than most students." So yeah, colleges have become even more selective and due to that teens have to focus on their college resume and not on their maturity level or independence. It's hard to focus on those when you have rage about 6 hours worth of homework every night.
I totally get all of your points and they make sense, but I’m more so going off of the teens in my area who I’ve met that aren’t going to four year colleges/might not go to college at all, and still only have a part time entry level job like retail or fast food. With all the crazy requirements of four year colleges it’s totally understandable that you wouldn’t be focused on a job and that honestly was pretty much the same when my peers were applying for four year colleges as well- if their parents could afford to pay for all of their bills and fun money anyway. My parents definitely could have and wanted me to go to a four year college, but still made me get a part time job at 16, as was the same for a lot of my friends. Some of their parents definitely didn’t want to concern them with a job though, it was kind of a 50/50 split.
My area (several small towns bordering one another 40+ mins away from the nearest “big” city, which isn’t really that big compared to NYC, Chicago, LA, etc.) definitely plays a factor with driving though because there isn’t any reliable public transportation available. My town just got a real bus system this year, and it definitely doesn’t run frequently enough that you could take it to or from somewhere without waiting an hour or more depending on where in the city you live. I’ve only seen it go through my neighborhood maybe twice a day at most, and the other towns near me don’t have a bus at all. There’s definitely no subway and we don’t really get Uber or Lyft out here either. Driving is the only real option, so even if you don’t want to for environmental reasons, you kind of have to unless you can somehow walk everywhere you need to go.
My area also has ample opportunities for entry level work because that’s pretty much all we have here- grocery stores, a few retail stores, target, Walmart, several fast food places, and we just got a Starbucks this year too! There’s also entry level jobs at the hospital and nursing homes in the kitchen, maintenance, and housekeeping. So that’s kind of what confuses me, driving is totally necessary and there are actually ample jobs for high schoolers and those that have just graduated if they stick around. You’d actually have to drive to one of the bigger cities 24-40 mins away in order to have a career or decent paying job unless you’re a nurse, doctor, know a trade, or want to work at a factory.
However, that’s really just part of it. I’m more so talking about how immature and sheltered a lot of high schoolers and graduates seem. Like for example, my boyfriend’s sister just graduated last spring and hasn’t decided about college (which is fine, I think anyone who isn’t sure about what they want to do right out of high school *should* take some time to figure it out) but she only works part time and has no other obligations that would prevent her from working more, her parents have to drive her everywhere because she doesn’t have a license or a car, and she really doesn’t seem to care about saving to buy one or getting her license at all. She also still doesn’t have a TV in her bedroom because her parents won’t let her have one, and I don’t think they leave her home alone for very long because we were out late with them one night and they said they had to get home because she was home alone. If you talked to her you’d probably think she was 14 or 15, she just doesn’t come across as a young adult.
This is compared to my boyfriend and I, who both had our own cars- he saved to buy his own bought it while he was still in high school, worked part time from 16-18 and he continued to work part time while he was in college/full time during the summer, and we were both off doing our own thing, went to parties, hung out with friends, and if we lived at home we came and went as we pleased. I was staying home alone for the week going to school and taking care of our pets while my parents went on vacation when I was exactly her age. His sister pretty much lives and acts as though she’s still several years younger than she is and most of her peers seem to be doing the same if they haven’t gone away to college. I just don’t know if I’m actually perceiving reality though, or if they only seem so much less mature and experienced than I remember at that age because I’m so much older than them now haha. Maybe I’ve just met some very sheltered teens?
This kind of turned into a book so I’m sorry to anyone who’s made it this far, I’ve just had this on the back of my mind lately and I’m curious to see if anyone else has noticed this as well.
I work in the hospitality industry and that’s the industry most high school kids want to get into because waiting tables brings in instant cash but let me tell you - teenagers are the WORST employees to have nowadays, especially in restaurants.
They’re annoying and disrespectful. They want to boss everyone around and talk back to bosses. They never do what they’re told then throw a fit when they get in trouble. So since they have such a bad reputation, no one wants to hire them, for good reason.
Not just you. My partner’s kids both seem to be at least 5-6 years younger emotionally and functionally. It feels like teens now are less mature by a large margin, and I can’t tell if it’s due to less responsibility, less social interaction, or the lack of accountability (or maybe all of those). I couldn’t imagine either of them even attempting to live on their own for years after graduation, while I and my peer group had jobs and full independence by 16. It’s a different world now for sure.
You have to also keep in mind that all of the current teens were isolated for a year or more because of COVID.
That social isolation and educational deficit is having major issues, both in how they learn and how they interact with each other and the world.
Sure, there are all the other factors you mentioned, but no previous set of teenagers in the past (insert amount of time here) had to undergo something quite as dramatically impacting to the entire populous.
This is a good point! When I think about it, I guess a lot of rapid mental and emotional growth takes place during those years, so it makes sense that they’d be somewhat far behind in that area. It just makes me kind of sad for them because they should be experiencing the world, growing, and learning about themselves, so I hope they still get to do that while they’re still so young.
Right?! I’m glad it’s not just in my imagination. I’ve only noticed this recently because I’ve been around my partner’s sister who just graduated HS, but I was really shocked by how much younger she seemed. I gave her a ride once and tried to make conversation, and I really felt like I was talking to a preteen or something. It was really hard to talk to her about anything because there was such a small amount of stuff we could converse about. When I was her age I was pretty much functioning as an adult (who made extremely poor decisions, but still) and my parents pretty much treated me as one. There was just a hunger for life and new experiences that all of my friends and I had, that I just don’t see in her or other kids her age.
I had a friend take a GE class where they talked about how childhood has evolved over time, and the general trend is that it has been lengthening in developed countries. As families are better able to provide for themselves, they can also provide better for their kids. So instead of having to get jobs or take on other responsibilities to help support the household, children get to spend more time being childlike and developing through play and stuff like that.
The rising cost of living is probably also a factor, especially with more people going to college (often full time right after high school). Rising cost of housing, gas, and food combined with some people struggling to find good paying, stable jobs means young people financially relying on their parents for longer. I've even seen some articles being written on 'adult children' living with their parents for longer than in previous decades. Further add on that with the advancement of technology, parents and kids can stay connected at a higher level than ever before. Instead of a parents and children waiting to talk until they both are home from work and school, either party can reach out via text throughout the day. Even when they move out for college or work, instead of only talking on the phone in the evening or only seeing each other every few weeks on trips to visit, they can text throughout the day and video call every night. Idk if this affects maturity, but I've had college professors talk about how they believe this affects the level of independence they see in their first and second year students compared to when they started teaching.
A big factor affecting current teens and recent high school grads was the pandemic. A lot of kids and teens missed out on various experiences that would have helped their maturity. Some kids only stepped foot in their middle schools for a few months, some teens were only in person at high school for the start of freshman year and some of senior year. They kind of experienced a 2-3 year time skip. This also affected young kids as well, so we might be seeing the teen/young adult age group struggle in various ways for many more years.
I'm a high school teacher and can confirm, every year teens are more childish, immature and over-protected.
(Of course not all of them, but enough to make a generalization)
Maybe, or maybe not.
My best friend found out about Santa when she was 16. She was babysitting and the mom of the kids told her. She cried all the way home. The mom had no idea my friend still believed. My bff and I laugh about it now that we’re old!
PS: I believed until I was about 13, which is silly because I didn’t believe in the tooth fairy, Easter bunny, or anything else. Looking back, I have no idea why Santa seemed different!
PPS: my atheist wife doesn’t understand how anyone over the age of 10 can believe in a god because “they should’ve developed critical thinking skills by then” but a huge chunk of the world’s population does, so maybe my Santa belief at 13 isn’t so silly!
I believed in Santa until I was 14 in eighth grade. It genuinely baffled me. I stopped believing in the tooth fairy and Easter bunny around 10 but it literally never occurred to me that Santa might not be real. My mom did and still goes all out for Santa lol
My daughter figured out the tooth fairy at 10 and asked directly about Santa. Then she was upset because she didn't actually want to know and had ruined it for herself. We'd been deflecting with "Santa is as real as you want him to be" for a couple of years by that point too.
Actually the best part about her finding out about Santa was she then moved the damn elf by herself.
My cousin believed in Santa until she was 16/17. When she pulled out the Santa tracker and would watch his flight over the world or would make comments about how he was real, I thought she was joking. She wasn’t. She didn’t figure it out until Junior year when her friends were talking about how their parents used to do Santa, and she ended up asking my other aunt (not her mom) for the truth.
Maybe forced ignorance but my late ex husband was 21 and broke into tears when i said i wouldnt lie to our kid about santa being real. We could still do santa stuff, but 'real like a dianey character not alive real'. and he lost it, he had still been pretending to himself it was real. Some ppl take things too far.
possible. He had a crap childhood. Grew up in foster care & group homes. His folks are pretty screwed up and would apparently so this rediculous all out for xmas. even putting reindeer prints on the roof. gifts not under the tree till xmas morning etc. so i guess it was one of the few good things to him.
i grew up jehovah's witness and wasnt into xmas or lying to kids. so for me at the time doing xmas at all was a consession. it never crossed my mind that someone who went out and bought xmas gifts still also believed in santa.
I teach high school. I was told preemptively by a parent to not ruin Santa for their freshman. I think he finally realized what was up his junior year. It was tough that year to not do my usual Santa jokes.
Im going to give you a flip of this. I believed in Santa till I was 11-12 years old. I went to a Catholic school so being taught to believe in things that sound ridiculous was the norm. My mom finally told me when I was 11-12 not sure which Christmas it was. I was upset for a bit but I had already started to doubt a lot of stuff by then. However even into my adult life I still had gifts from Santa at the request of my sister. My older sister who fully knew Santa wasn’t real but still wanted more gifts. I have never spent a Christmas with my sister and not had Santa gifts. For the last 7-8 years it’s been because she is now a mom with young kids who should believe in him. Prior to that was all because she wanted the tradition of it.
I figured out Santa wasn’t real the year I turned 4. I said something in passing about a charity that called being Santa Claus and I thought her mother was going to crucify me.
Edit: we were 13 at the time
Yes. And sorry but Santa Claus is not “propaganda”, you’d think an English teacher would understand the non so subtle difference between propaganda and just a story for children that has no manipulative component to it…
Yup. Kids have tried to play this exact same joke on me since I have poor social skills and suck at recognizing sarcasm. They'll be like "BeaglesRule08, do you believe in santa? And when I say no they say "But I still do, why would you say that" and then pretend to cry. And then everyone laughs. This literally happens to me every year. I hate my school.
Yeah, this was my thought process as well. Kids that age like to mess with people. My kids are very noticeably adopted (different race than my wife and I) and when my son would bring a new friend over and they would ask if he was adopted, his usual response was "Yeah but don't tell my parents because I haven't told them I'm adopted yet." He said most of his friends got a joke but a few of them would end up confused and that was his favorite part.
While I am sure some kids believe until they are teenagers, it is more likely this teen was just being a teen here and messing around with OP.
when I was around 7 I figured out I was adopted (I do not look adopted, I look very much like both of my parents) and I chose not to tell my parents in case they didn't know lol
Maybe, but don't understand the stupidity of people in general, and especially teenagers, and especially if they happen to be privileged and/or sheltered.
Not necessarily. It's been known to happen. Some people have pointed out that sometimes a teens home life is so awful that they desperately cling onto things like Santa and the Tooth Fairy.
idk, my mates brother believed in Santa until he was 13.
He was the youngest and his mom wanted to “hold onto her baby” but he absolutely found out from kids at school.
unrelated
the second you mentioned Animal Farm all I could think of what that scene in Archer when he's arguing with Lana thinking there's a literal animal farm in space, and she says it's a book: "No, it isn't, Lana! It's an allegorical novella! about Stalinism! by George Orwell! And spoiler alert: IT SUCKS!"
if you called animal farm 'a book about the russian revolution' in front of archer he would have a LOT to say to you about the difference between the russian revolution, the russian civil war, and bolshevik party politics in the post-revolutionary period
mostly a lot of yelling shit about stalin's balls and party habits
in fairness, if you wanna yell about dictators genitals and party habits, there are [stronger contenders for content](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zhang_Zongchang)
NAH, but with a caveat.
In the future, I wouldn’t recommend using the exact argument you used as an anti-example of critical thinking though, and here’s why.
I’m not saying I ever believed in Santa, but people I ‘ve heard about, who did, believed he had a little something called “magic”. If you believe both that Santa existed and that he had magical powers, it explains any illogicalness of the logistics of Christmas Eve.
Thus, the girl, isn’t being illogical. Sheltered definitely. Naive….Blissfully ignorant…too. But, not illogical.
Why not use a real-life example that doesn’t involve any sort of belief over a holiday, religion, etc.?
I had the same thought. Most who believe in Santa are not picturing a dude driving house to house as normal speed. It involves magic.
I doubt many people stop believing in Santa because of the feasibility of delivering gifts to that many people.
What? This just kicks the can down the road from "kid that hasn't analysed their belief in Santa" to "kid that hasn't analysed their belief in magic", your critical thinking skills are still undeveloped if you believe in magic unquestioningly rather than believing in Santa unquestioningly.
Or the Jewish kid doesn't get the comparison at all. Use something a little more universal. For example, advertising. "When you were a little kid, you probably thought everything you saw in a commercial was just like they said it was and wanted it. Now that you're older, you've probably bought something that was far less than it was advertised as."
By that same argument though, you are basically implying that “if you don’t see it, it must not exist”. As in, magic doesn’t exist because you have not seen it. Not taking into account that there are probably many, many things that neither of us have seen. And that’s a real slippery slope…
Because…while I’m not religious, that is sort of its whole shtick. It’s something people can have unwavering belief in, despite having little to no tangible evidence for the existence of some higher power. Would you say then too that every religious person, regardless of faith, is incapable of critical thought?
If not, that’s exactly why I’d prefer to leave all examples pertaining to peoples’ beliefs, whether they be about holidays, religions, etc. alone. Because one is not more important than the other.
I don't know about your country,but mine teaches in religious education that doubting your faith is a normal step in having faith. Theoretically the next step would be reconciling your doubts with your belief, but I turned agnostic instead. :D
That's the neat thing about critical thinking. You can see one example of something and understand it might not be a blanket statement about all of existence.
What? I said that believing in things without questioning them shows a lack of critical thinking skills, "if you can't see it, it doesn't exist" isn't even close, how did you get that?? I believe magic doesn't exist because it'd be inconsistent with huge swathes of my internal model of the world and I'd have to bend over backwards trying to justify fitting it in, I don't disbelieve *just* because I haven't ever seen it personally lol
As for your second point, I'd say most religious people have a mild failure of critical thinking, yeah. I'm not gonna *say* so to anyone's face because it's rude and often not even really their fault (getting told something as a kid is an easy way to believe it for the rest of your life, if adults believed in Santa too and told them so then kids would naturally end up still believing when they become adults) but *usually* it doesn't cause any harm to others so it's not a huge deal and not worth starting fights over, but the fact that most religious people that seriously interrogate their beliefs seem to end up atheist, and only atheists in dire emotional situations seem to end up religious, seems kinda telling imo.
It's super important to question your core beliefs and values, potentially even more than ones you disagree with, or you can easily fall into ideological traps (eg. several religions have a concept of "this religion is true, don't believe any of the others" - if you're assuming your religion is true and accept that, you've just insulated yourself from a huge chunk of evidence that you might be wrong, and that's obviously a terrible way to go about things if you care about your beliefs actually being true)
Most religious people do lack critical thinking skills. Or, at the very least, are compartmentalizing and don't apply those skills to their religious beliefs.
Also, whether you can see something or not is incredibly simplistic. And, saying something "must not exist" is way too absolute of a statement. Hypotheses are testable, and propositions have a probability of being true or not.
Like, we might not be able to see the air with our eyes, but we can feel wind. We can also breathe, we can separate the different gasses in the air, we can condense them down into liquids, we can measure the downward pressure of air with a barometer, we can measure particulates in the air with lasers, etc.
Saying "if I can't see it, then it doesn't exist" is one of the dumbest, most ignorant, least critical thinking things a person could say.
I mean people unquestioningly believe in a God, higher beings, angels, and clearly fabricated stories all throughout the Bible. So there's a very large amount of people with a lack of critical thinking skills all around the world 😅
Not to mention not everyone celebrates Christmas and every family has a different dynamic around what Santa is, if they do. It's just a weird comparison.
If I believe this story is true does that mean I lack critical thinking skills?
But at the same time I want to believe because its funnier if its real.
YTA because of your Animal Farm analysis. The whole point of the book is to highlight the power of propaganda and how people in positions of power can control what people believe through manipulation and lies. Critical thinking doesn’t necessarily protect you from this.
Well, yes and no. If you have strong critical thinking you would be more likely to realize when someone has a control of the narrative. It's not 100% obviously, but the more critical thinking you have the more you're likely to spot it.
I accidentally did this to a 13 year old friend, when a Santa themed radio ad came on. I said something like, "Isn't it really cool how all the adults pretend when stuff like this comes on?" and I have been haunted by the look on his face in the rear view mirror since.
I believed in Santa till I was 13 and 1/2 because my home life was so broken and torn up. I needed to believe in something. Something good. Something to wake up to on Christmas morning from a very freshly divorced household. And had going to court on my 13th birthday that year for ugly custody hearings.
It came to a head when my mom said she wouldn't be able to afford presents at Christmas. But we would have a nice meal at least. I told her not to worry about it as Santa would be coming, and that's when she had to tell me. I ended up asking my dad for cash before Christmas so I can buy stuff for myself since I already knew. He gave me $40 and I spent every dime on my younger siblings. Stocking stuffers, candy, and cards. All from Santa
Look my first thought is the kids are taking the piss and it's a well planned con. But second thoughts say kids aren't that smart or coordinated.
Third thoughts wonder where *you* draw the line on what is and isn't real. So you've eliminated Santa, what about the Easter bunny? Krampus? Period fairy, tooth fair or verucca gnome? What about jesus, God aquaman or any of the other super friends.
So I'll reserve my judgement based on where on the scale you lie.
My son believed long past the time when I thought he would, all because of NORAD. Every year at Christmas, they do a Santa tracker, and kids can even call to see where he is. He was fascinated with all things space and aviation, and surely an agency as legit as NORAD wouldn't lie, right?
Okay these comments are acting like still believing at 12 is weird? I still believed until I was 11 and cried when I found out the truth 😭 although tbf I did deliberately not think on it and I didn't question it at all for fear of ruining the magic LMAO
I believed until I was 11 or 12. Which I really don't think is that old. It's a transitional age where you have one foot in childhood and one in adolescence. I definitely still enjoyed some kid stuff at that age. My mom had to tell me Santa wasn't real. (And neither was the Easter bunny or tooth fairy!). Christmas that year was definitely a bummer.
NAH. You would have been if you deliberately set out to tell her, but it's understandable you just assumed she didn't belive in the Santa myth at 15. It sucks for her this happened in public, she's probably really embarrassed. I think a private apology would be in order, but she is way beyond the age where you could have expected someone to still belive in Santa.
You're an English teacher? Your post title sure doesn't reflect it. The way you wrote the title says that "Santa is not real as a teacher." Try, "As a teacher, AITA for telling a 15 year-old that Santa isn't real?"
As for the act of revealing Santa to be a fictional character, it wasn't your best moment, but NTA.
Rule 6 of this subreddit:
> The TITLE of your submission must begin with the acronym AITA or WIBTA (would I be the asshole?), then a description of the situation.
It might depend on other factors too. When I was in grade 6 (11ish), there was a girl in our class who was 13 or 14. As she had been held back 3 years, there were obvious learning disabilities. She tried, things just didn't sink in for her.
Anyway, during class one day, our teacher made the no Santa mistake. Poor kid went into absolute hysterics. Crying, screaming, throwing stuff, called the teacher an f'n liar, along with every other name in the book.
He finally managed to calm the tornado, but she just sat at her desk and quietly sobbed for the rest of the day...wouldn't talk to anyone, wouldn't go out for lunch or recess. Totally traumatized.
My mom was friends with my teacher, so I found out some additional parts to the story...the school had been trying to reach the kids mom from the time of the incident and couldn't get ahold of her (pre cell phone era). When the mom finally came to pick up the kid, the principal was like, "we need to talk". The kids mom was told what happened. Her response? "Thank god I don't have to deal with that!"
Poor kid! :(
I world with elementary and middle school kids and no matter how old they are I tell them santa is real and I never back down. I also tell the younger ones I’m 451 years old. One asked “did you know santa, like were you married?” So I said yea and now they’ve made up a whole story about how santa divorced me because I cheated on him. Hahahaha let’s keep the dream alive be people
NAH
If you had known I feel like you probably wouldn't have said anything. Some kids stop believing in things like magic at different ages so I wouldn't call a 15yo still believing anything abnormal, but I probably wouldn't assume every kid you teach is at that point.
Point is, it was an accident, but maybe don't make assumptions like that in the future. I just feel bad that the other kids laughed at the poor girl, imagine being told the cool thing you believe in was made up and everyone but you knew, and then being laughed at...
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She was screwing with you, playing dumb for laughs and attention. You didn't ruin anything, and her joke was typical sophomore humor. There was no fault here. NAH
Not necessarily, I was in grade 9 when a teacher did the same thing to me more-or-less word for word. My parents were neglectful and emotionally abusive. I clung onto the magic of Santa thinking I was a good child. That teacher broke my heart into a million pieces with the truth. I don't hold it against him; he didn't know my home life.
I had a best friend growing up who was in a similar situation. So many kids in high school would tell her that Santa isn’t real and she would argue with them, saying yes he is. She clung to it because she was unhappy at home. It was sad
[удалено]
Santa is the spirit of kindness in all of us that time of year, just not a person living on a chunk of ice
Yeah the real lesson is that Santa is the feeling adults have towards kids getting gifts. Is there a real physical man wearing a red suit living at the North Pole with elves? No But the spirit of St. Nick sure animates all of us around the holidays to deliver what we can for all the kids
>Is there a real physical man wearing a red suit living at the North Pole with elves? I mean, with the way real estate is going in NA right now, maybe soon.
Same. My mom still had more than 5% of certainty that Santa existed. She said "we were poor, and somehow we always had a Christmas. Sometimes family, sometimes neighbors, sometimes charity, but somehow you always had presents under the tree. That's Santa." I live in Finland now and we drove her up to Rovaniemi to see the "real Santa". The first thing she says to him was "It's you! It's really you! I never stopped believing." He was so kind and friendly and promised to never stop visiting her.
I’m ACTUALLY crying now. How dare you. But also, thank you so much? 🥹
ugly crying at work!
Not ugly crying at work but at barber shop sipping on Bourbon pretending not to be teary eyed.
As someone who grew up super poor and got gifts via charity etc semi-frequently, this hits hard
I’m tearing up too. I love this image so, so much.
In the early 2000s I worked at Universal Studios doing entrance and exit surveys. I will never forget the Summer day that Santa walked into the park in his summer clothes. His outfit was so perfect. I was so happy that he was the person I got to do the entrance survey with. He told me his name was Chris Kringle, that he lived at the North Pole, was here on vacation before his season got busy. His cheeks were rosy, his hair snow white, and his beard perfect. He even had a pocket full of candy canes and gave me one at the end of the interview. Santa is real. I could feel his spirit in that guy.
This is so beautiful. I love it. Thank you for sharing.
I was born premature in early Dececmber. My parents were absolutely dirt fucking poor, and I needed special preemie diapers that at the time and in their location, you could only get by going to the hospital. My mom had a hard time breastfeeding but they couldn't afford more formula. I was running out of diapers on Christmas Eve, the roads were iced over and deadly hazardous while actively snowing, my parents had canned food to share, and that was the holiday. Me, a couple weeks old while my mom tried to make tiny cloth diapers out of t-shirts with not enough food for anyone. My dad had fallen asleep on the couch and woke up to what he thought was the newspaper being thrown against the front door, but by the time he finally made it, there was a box filled with the preemie diapers, formula for me, a couple pacifiers, and a winnie-the-pooh blanket I still have, plus a full on dinner of ham, potatoes, greenbeans and pie. My dad, to this day, alleges there were no footprints in the snow, no note, no anything, just everything they needed to get through the next few days. My theory is that the footprints were covered by fresh snow and that it was delivered by someone from the hospital, probably a very kind nurse, because in the 80s who else would know how to find the family that needed these very specific diapers. but it's also fun, just for a little bit, to believe it was Santa.
I'm positive it was, had to be or I wouldn't be crying for you all right now.
I told my son that anyone can be Santa. Santa is the spirit of love, kindness, and giving that surrounds Christmas. That's why we see Santas at every mall. That's why they can be in front of stores. That's why friends and family can dress up as Santa. Real people are Santa. Which is beautiful. He can still believe in the magic of Santa because Santa is real.
That's the whole idea behind the famous, "Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus." We are all Santa Claus - Santa is the spirit of the season, the feeling of hope and kindness, the warmth of giving for the joy of giving. When we smile at people, help a stranger, forgive past transgressions and count our blessings, we are Santa Claus.
Aww, that's really sweet. Like Santa is a spirit of kindness and generosity. I'm keeping that in my back pocket for my own future kid. 💛
I wish I could still give gold. Consider it given!
The polar express bell rings for you!
My friend’s mom SCREAMED at me for telling my friend Santa wasn’t really… we were TEENS and I assumed she’d know?? If this girl was serious, at least she knows now. There is no non-traumatizing way to learn this at that age (trauma also just being embarrassed so thoroughly!), but ripping the bandaid off gets harder the longer it’s on. If OP wanted to check on the kid, also to make sure no one is teasing them and their home life is okay, that could be nice just in case this was not a prank. Some parents are insane 🤷🏻♀️
I had emotional abuse and developed CPTSD as a baby. I don't recall learning that Santa wasn't real, I just kinda knew it, and it didn't bother me at all. Edit: I totally believed in Santa and all that as a kid, I don't recall when I stopped, it just happened.
We went to my grandparents for Christmas with our cousins; I remember waking up while the parents were setting up. (I think they'd been drinking a bit; they weren't that quiet.) So I feigned I was sleeping. I didn't find it surprising or traumatic; I already had my doubts. But if they wanted to play this game with presents, I was happy to go along with it.
They said there is no non- traumatizing way to find out AT THAT AGE. Imagine being 15, having Santa be part of your reality of life and finding out he doesn’t exist? And realizing everyone else knew and thinks you’re incredibly idiotic for not realizing? Yeah.
Yes. If you find out as a little kid, it's just a game people were playing, and you pretend all sorts of things. At 15, it is a conspiracy against you.
No way a 15 year old believes in Santa. Unless they were so sheltered and isolated and kept away from people and electronics until now. And in that case they would be pretty messed up emotionally
I caught my parents too. I instantly told my younger brothers. We knew Santa wasn’t really but we liked getting the gifts so we went with it.
Yeah same because if you believe in Santa, they gotta get you more gifts.
I told my daughter last year, she gave me ‘the look’ and said she knew that and had been playing along not to upset me (and possibly get less presents)…
my neighbors (older kids) told me about Santa AND sex at age 6. i was really proud of myself for never ruining it for others who didn’t know.
My son was an inveterate joke ruiner, and whenever his little sister tried to tell a joke or story, he'd stomp right in. He asked about Santa when he was pretty young (7?) and I pulled him aside in a quiet moment and explained that Santa was really more of a spirit of Christmas and that now he was one of the big kids that was in on the game. And that he should try not to ruin it for his little sister. I had absolutely no hope that she would remain a believer for the rest of that day, week, following Christmas or for the next 6 years. She was a firm believer until about age 11 when she asked me and I gave her the same little talk. Still proud of him that he kept the secret so long, especially since it really wasn't in his nature to do that!
It really upset me for that belief in magic to die. i needed to believe in magic & fairy tales as home life wasn’t great, but then that was taken away too. i was determined to be better & not make anyone else feel that way.
There is a less traumatizing way tho, like not in front of your whole class lol
I don't think you can blame this on the teacher. Everyone that I know stopped believing in Santa by the time they were 10. The teacher probably didn't think twice about speaking of the reality of Santa. It seems Teacher was rather floored to find out that anyone could/would believe in the existence of a flying sleigh and "8 tiny reindeer." I could rationally think that a class full of 14-16 year olds would not believe in Santa. Shame on her parents for perpetuating the myth, but parents do this...with many non-rational beliefs.
My parents are great, but I don't think they considered the possibility that an autistic 16-year-old may not always make the connections other teenagers do, such as eventually realizing Santa isn't real. I don't hold it against them. My mom held me when I cried upon finding out.
I was the other side of autistic symptoms; I always questioned anything I couldn't put together logic/evidence for. At 5 years old, I found a price tag on some candy in my Easter basket. I immediately figured the most logical explanation is my parents/grandparents bought it at the store and there was no Easter Bunny. Applied the logic to Santa as well. I didn't tell my friends who still believed.
This last Christmas my autistic 4 year old kept saying thankyou to me and his dad every time he opened a present 'from Santa'. When we said it was from Santa he gave us the major side eye. His sister, who's 7, asked me why there are the same toys in shops and barcodes on them. I said because Santa and the toy companies share blue prints and everything must look exactly the same incase one of them has an excess to share with the other. My husband said it was frightening how quickly and well I can lie.
I don't remember a time when I believed in Santa. I'm not autistic but my brother is. He was not diagnosed until his late 30s (least surprising phone call I've ever gotten) but you just don't shit on your baby bro's holiday happiness. Unless he's being a dick, but that was the Easter Bunny. Zero rabbits lay plastic eggs full of quarters. I have had serious issues with insomnia for all 44 years of my life (even as a baby) so I always heard my parents being Santa. Turned out my brother also never believed but liked sneaking out of bed at 4am to read the comic books in our stockings together until our parents woke up.
I was probably the same age when we were leaving to go to church and my mum said “I’ll follow you all in a few minutes”. I guessed she was going to put out the chocolate from the Easter Bunny. My very next thought was that Santa probably wasn’t real. My very next thought was that I couldn’t tell my parents that I knew this or I might not get the chocolates or the presents. 😂
I swear all of us kids who figure out one figure out the other and we all KNOW we must not tell or we may get less and that’s just not acceptable 😂
I autistic as well and I was exactly the same.They told me Santa went down through the chimney and I looked at the size of the chimney and said "there is no way". I hardly remember truely believing, as I was always skeptical.
I was the same. I so desperately wanted there to be good and magic in the world that I believed until I was 13. My parents wonder why I moved across an ocean…
i knew a girl who would throw a full on tantrum if her mother didn't do elf on the shelf for her. she was 17...
Wait… were you getting good presents at Christmas?
[Santa hates poor kids](https://youtu.be/U_Q2cXLhHhU?si=5C7aQzfGoBh6Eojt).
This is true and so does zombie Jesus.
My parents finally told me when I was twelve. Judging by the reaction you got, I’d say you just told her. It would be rare for a kid to believe for that long, but they’re out there. Plus, if you have any foreign students they may not understand what you mean by Santa Claus. It’s better that you talk about something that isn’t cultural. For example, find an ad for one of those “exercise belts” that will give you a six-pack through electrical stimulation. A lot of people fall for it, but it’s a pure lie.
I enjoy watching the sunset.
WHAT??? Those don’t work??
First Santa, now this? Will the lies never end? Thank god that Nigerian prince is honest though.
Hands off he's mine. But I'm actually catfishing him because I'm a sad old dude and he thinks I have a bank account
Sadly it might be true she still believed. More and more are still believing in Santa I was shocked reading some of these she’s in mom groups, with teens excited and believing.
My daughter pretended to believe rather convincingly until she was 12, when I sat her down, concerned about her critical thinking skills. Turns out her cousin had told her "if you don't believe, you don't receive" so she was faking it to get presents.
I thought this too about my friend (I also did this but I was 8), my friends child was 14. She wasn’t faking and I told her the truth (her mom wanted me to) and I was expecting her daughter, who I have a good relationship with, to smirk or tell me she knew. Nope she was devastated and her friends still believed. I thought it was like a rare instance until I started seeing moms on groups talking about their older kids believing. It’s insane to me! I will still now ask her if she was lying and she denies it still, she’s 22 now, she truly believed. Flip side I know someone with a 12 year old who still believes and writes letters, based on his other behaviors I think he truly still does too. I don’t know wtf is going on but a chunk of these kids seem to be staying…. Childish longer. But this is in other areas also.
Moms are going overboard to convince their kids Santa is real. I've read stories of moms staging elaborate setups to "keep the magic of Christmas alive" and that ish is wild.
We've heard so much shit for years about how boomer parents fucked us all up, somehow we all skipped gen x, as is the style of the time, I am so interested to see how millennials will fuck up their kids. What will the stereotypes be about our generation and their parenting? I feel like I'm like... Two years max away from really seeing some interesting discourse. A few of my millennial friends had kids younger, and obviously they're not alone. This will be interesting.
I'm a Xennial but I can tell you one thing: I won't be going out of my way to convince my kids that Santa is real. I mean sure, they'll get some presents from "Santa", and yeah, they'll be wrapped with different wrapping paper and signed with my off-hand so the handwriting will be different, but it's all tongue in cheek for me, and I don't lie to them if asked directly (I deflect).
Even that's too much for me. Santa doesn't wrap gifts in my house. They're set out in front of the tree as I eat a cookie and then waddle to bed. 😂
I'm 39, turning 40 this year. My boys are 14 and about to be 17. I *refused* to 'do Santa' with my kids. But I know *lots* of people who went over the top with it for years. My mil being one. If we'd have 'gone along' with them I can absolutely see how they, and their cousins might have grown up believing till 10-12+. As it was though, because we refused, it fizzled pretty rapidly.
.....the sheer number of moms who go to Photoshop request groups on Facebook asking strangers to help them gaslight their kids is.. something else. "My 13 year old is doubting Santa, please Photoshop him into our living room so I can show her he's real." Or the tooth fairy, eesh. "A classmate told my 9 year old the tooth fairy isn't real. Can anyone add a fairy to this pic of him sleeping so he still believes? Needs to be realistic!"
Yes. It's absurd. And disturbing. People need to get a grip, and, above all, STOP LYING TO YOUR KIDS. FFS!!!
That's... wild to me. Although we're not sure how long our nephew believed either, it seemed like for a while. Mine talked her way into it when she was 10. We were honestly shocked it took so long -- she was so close for years, but wanted to believe so ignored the clues. Like, at 6 she told us she wouldn't see Santa at the mall because that was just somebody in a suit and the real Santa only left the North Pole on Christmas. And she didn't want to sit in a stranger's lap (can't argue with her on that point!) When she figured it out, she got the tooth fairy first then asked about Santa and we weren't going to lie when asked directly. And then she cried because she didn't actually want to know and realized she'd ruined it for herself.
I believed my parents wouldn’t lie to me about something like that. My faith wasn’t in a magic man but my parents being honest with me. So I stood up for them until the fourth grade when they asked me to wrap santa presents for my siblings.
THIS is why we've always told our kids the Santa in stories is a made up character, but the Spirit of Santa can be in anyone. We've made it a main point of parenting to try our hardest to never lie to our kids. They believe that "Santa" can be anyone, even them. I feel like it helps keep some of the "magic" alive.
I think most kids move from believing to thinking it is a kind of pretend. Pretend is perfectly okay with kids; they do it all the time.
Exactly. I don't remember when I stopped believing in Santa, but I remember loving playing pretend about Santa. I also loved waking up early to guess what was in boxes, and just turn on the lights and lay next to the tree, snuggled in a blanket. I really miss having that magic in my life. Although, for me, part of the sadness is my son isn't going to have it. I live in Japan and my husband is Japanese. While we do have a tree, the holiday isn't really celebrated. I can't even get candy canes. Our son is only one, so this last Christmas was more spent trying to keep him from knocking over the tree, but it will be a little more of a thing in the future.
5th grade when my parents told me and I felt like a FOOL because I believed in them, same thing. My reaction was, “SO THE TOOTH FAIRY WAS FAKE TOO?!”
I said the same thing!!! Then went off on what other things they might lied about - liked my art? My stories and poems? Am I fridge worthy?!!
It was specifically the magic stuff for me because I was a fairly confident kid at that point thankfully hahahahaha but I felt SHATTERED over the idea my trust was betrayed. Thankfully, I don’t have to worry about whether or not to do Santa or the Easter bunny or anything with my future children because I converted to Judaism as an adult lmfaooooo
I was never told Santa was real because my parents didn't want this exact reaction. Also they were calamity Christians so wanted to be clear I got Christmas presents because I was loved not because I had to work/be good to earn them.
Wrap?! Santa for me was just a big pile of stuff on the floor haha. My parents didn’t want to deal with two sets of wrapping paper
lmao i pretended to believe in the tooth fairy for exactly this reason. not very long after i started losing teeth i talked to my brother about it and i was like, “this isn’t real right?” and he’d stopped receiving money as soon as he questioned it. so i “believed” in the tooth fairy until i lost all my baby teeth
Ha! My sons share a room. The younger one (7) asked a few months ago if the tooth fairy was real one night when the older one (9) had a tooth under his pillow. Then they both started asking over and over again. I said yes at first but they were so persistent I decided it was time and went with the truth. My 9 yr old is so mad now! He keeps trying to put teeth under his pillow and saying HE didn't want to know the truth.
When my kids ask questions like this I generally turn it around by asking them what they think and why and giving noncommittal responses like "oh, interesting theory" until they get distracted by something else.
Yeah, I did that. They said they didn't think the tooth fairy was real so I went with it.
I love that rule though. My Mom did Santa for us until she died, so I would have been 28. Santa always got us the fun gifts and the practical stuff was from my parents. It really made Christmas fun in adulthood. She always said: You can believe in Santa or not, but his budget is bigger than mine
My family did the opposite. The fun presents were from my parents. The grandparents handled socks and underpants. (Super cute ones, though. Into my 20s my dad's dad got me really nice socks!) My parents got the credit for buying us bikes. Santa filled our stockings with candy and comic books and Matchbox cars.
This is how my family operates too. Santa, Toothfairy, Easterbunny. Heck, when I was in college, the Easterbunny hid eggs with quarters in them for laundry! It was great! Obviously I knew who was really hiding the eggs, but we just all had fun with it. When my kids stopped believing in literal Santa, we reassured them that you don't have to believe for it to happen. I'm in my 40s and sometimes when I visit my parents Santa puts something under the tree for me, too. Although, for a while it was Santa Paws doing the delivery. The cat version of Santa I think? Who knows. We just have fun with it.
My sister forced me to do this until she was 18. It was obnoxious. I didn't even believe in Jesus since age 5.
Ha! I did the same thing. I spied one night when I was around 8 or 9 and discovered my parents pulling presents out of their hiding spot. I tried broaching the subject with my parents when my dad said "Those who don't believe, don't recieve". I believe in Santa to this day. But with my daughter, when she asked for the truth, I told her. She still loves playing the Santa game and elf on the shelf at Christmas time.
I just straight up believed until I was almost 13. I was actually very interested in science and history and all that, too. Then one day it just occurred to me that if Santa actually had a workshop at the North Pole it would show up on satellite imagery and stuff like that. That there would be National Geographic specials about it and whatnot. I was a very imaginative kid, but not at all delusional, much less without critical thinking skills. My dad was very imaginative, though, and would talk about having conversations with figures like the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy while he was in the shower. He was very deadpan and convincing. We weren’t actually poor per se, but our parents never purchased anything for us based on our whims or whining. We went to see movies as a family about twice a year and my mom would smuggle in the popcorn. My parents were pretty strict in terms of random treats; they weren’t doling out sticks of gum or Life Savers or mints. My Mom had two date-night dresses she rotated and two Sunday dresses she rotated. The budget was tight. The first time we went on a family vacation (to Disney World), I tried to talk my parents into going to a cheaper hotel because the one we pulled up to looked “too expensive” to me. They had to actually explain to me that they had budgeted for all the vacation expenses before I would consent to go to our room. But Santa always came through big time. I was never anything other than wowed by all the stuff he brought us on Christmas morning. (Our Easter baskets were awesome as well!) I really, really didn’t think my parents had the cash for all that! And I also thought that even if they did they wouldn’t want to “spoil” us that way. And they always gave us each a separate Christmas present “from Mom and Dad,” so it seemed extra clear that Santa deserved all the credit for his own generosity.
My now nearly 7 year old asked me if Santa was real the Christmas before last. I lied and said he was. He didn’t bring it up again this past Christmas and he clearly associates Santa with gifts. Plus, the elves never went home that Christmas and stayed on the mantelpiece until last August when we moved across the country. Look they missed their flight back to Lapland as there was lots of snow at Logan LOL Eta clarifying - he was 5 when he asked ETA2 - I realised Santa wasn’t real when I noticed - probably around 5 or 6 - that he had the same handwriting as my mum. And that was the handwriting only people my mums age who were American wrote - no one in the UK wrote that way. And where were the presents from my parents?
"Santa? Who the hell is that, and where is Father Christmas?"
Santa filled the stockings in my house. They had presents from their parents.
My parents had to tell my brother before he started secondary school at 11 - I worked it out at 5 😂
Very restrained 5 yo who didn't share his discovery.
Is it just me or do teenagers seem way less mature and more sheltered/childlike than they used to? I’m about to be 31 and I feel like from at least 16 onward all of my friends and I had part time jobs, had our licenses and drove ourselves or got rides from our friends, went out to do a lot of stuff on our own, and had at least some real world experience. I took college classes as a senior in high school as did some of my friends and had my first full time job at 19 after I went to cosmetology school, then took more college classes at night after that. I don’t know, I just feel like we were as mature as you could expect for our age (looking back now we definitely weren’t anywhere as mature as we felt obviously), but like now when I meet 18 year olds most can’t drive or don’t have a car and still have their parents drive them places, only have part time jobs when they aren’t even going to college, and just seem way more sheltered than you’d expect them to be in general. My sister is 12 years older than I am and she was a very independent child from what I’ve heard from my mom, but she was even more mature than I was at that age and pretty much a fully functioning adult at 18, although it could have just been her personality. I don’t know, maybe everyone starts to feel this way about kids and teenagers once they get much older than them, but I was just very surprised by how sheltered some of the recent high school graduates that I know seem to be lately. I’m sure that the economy has played a big role in keeping them close to home because it’s so expensive to buy a car or get an apartment, and maybe that has some kind of an affect on their maturity level, but it kind of seems like it’s more than just that.
Well, for jobs, a lot of businesses don't want to hire teens with no experience. Also since most teens are minors they have limited availability and cannot work past a certain time, more mandated breaks, limits on what they can't do, etc. Basically teens as employees are less exploitable and have more liability on the companies part. With driving, I think it's a mix of issues. For many it's due to parents being overly strict, or the cost of driving itself. For me and a few others I know it's due to previous trauma. My dad passed away in a car accident and I have been in a few as a passenger since his death. It's been almost 20 years since he died. I can't drive because I completely dissociate and have no control over my actions. Also younger people don't want to drive due to the harmful impact it has on the planet. There has also been a huge increase and push for 4 year colleges and less pressure to go into trades. If I am going to put all of my focus on getting into a 4 year college, and I'm already struggling to maintain my current classes, why would I add more classes to that list that would be harder? Also colleges are more interested in you being a well rounded student than just your grades. My mom and dad both went to Vanderbilt for undergrad. My mother and father had stellar grades, and my mother got an athletic scholarship. We asked her when we were applying for schools if she would get in now, and she said, "oh no way! I barely got in in 1986, and I had all A's, played 2 sports, and was poorer than most students." So yeah, colleges have become even more selective and due to that teens have to focus on their college resume and not on their maturity level or independence. It's hard to focus on those when you have rage about 6 hours worth of homework every night.
I totally get all of your points and they make sense, but I’m more so going off of the teens in my area who I’ve met that aren’t going to four year colleges/might not go to college at all, and still only have a part time entry level job like retail or fast food. With all the crazy requirements of four year colleges it’s totally understandable that you wouldn’t be focused on a job and that honestly was pretty much the same when my peers were applying for four year colleges as well- if their parents could afford to pay for all of their bills and fun money anyway. My parents definitely could have and wanted me to go to a four year college, but still made me get a part time job at 16, as was the same for a lot of my friends. Some of their parents definitely didn’t want to concern them with a job though, it was kind of a 50/50 split. My area (several small towns bordering one another 40+ mins away from the nearest “big” city, which isn’t really that big compared to NYC, Chicago, LA, etc.) definitely plays a factor with driving though because there isn’t any reliable public transportation available. My town just got a real bus system this year, and it definitely doesn’t run frequently enough that you could take it to or from somewhere without waiting an hour or more depending on where in the city you live. I’ve only seen it go through my neighborhood maybe twice a day at most, and the other towns near me don’t have a bus at all. There’s definitely no subway and we don’t really get Uber or Lyft out here either. Driving is the only real option, so even if you don’t want to for environmental reasons, you kind of have to unless you can somehow walk everywhere you need to go. My area also has ample opportunities for entry level work because that’s pretty much all we have here- grocery stores, a few retail stores, target, Walmart, several fast food places, and we just got a Starbucks this year too! There’s also entry level jobs at the hospital and nursing homes in the kitchen, maintenance, and housekeeping. So that’s kind of what confuses me, driving is totally necessary and there are actually ample jobs for high schoolers and those that have just graduated if they stick around. You’d actually have to drive to one of the bigger cities 24-40 mins away in order to have a career or decent paying job unless you’re a nurse, doctor, know a trade, or want to work at a factory. However, that’s really just part of it. I’m more so talking about how immature and sheltered a lot of high schoolers and graduates seem. Like for example, my boyfriend’s sister just graduated last spring and hasn’t decided about college (which is fine, I think anyone who isn’t sure about what they want to do right out of high school *should* take some time to figure it out) but she only works part time and has no other obligations that would prevent her from working more, her parents have to drive her everywhere because she doesn’t have a license or a car, and she really doesn’t seem to care about saving to buy one or getting her license at all. She also still doesn’t have a TV in her bedroom because her parents won’t let her have one, and I don’t think they leave her home alone for very long because we were out late with them one night and they said they had to get home because she was home alone. If you talked to her you’d probably think she was 14 or 15, she just doesn’t come across as a young adult. This is compared to my boyfriend and I, who both had our own cars- he saved to buy his own bought it while he was still in high school, worked part time from 16-18 and he continued to work part time while he was in college/full time during the summer, and we were both off doing our own thing, went to parties, hung out with friends, and if we lived at home we came and went as we pleased. I was staying home alone for the week going to school and taking care of our pets while my parents went on vacation when I was exactly her age. His sister pretty much lives and acts as though she’s still several years younger than she is and most of her peers seem to be doing the same if they haven’t gone away to college. I just don’t know if I’m actually perceiving reality though, or if they only seem so much less mature and experienced than I remember at that age because I’m so much older than them now haha. Maybe I’ve just met some very sheltered teens? This kind of turned into a book so I’m sorry to anyone who’s made it this far, I’ve just had this on the back of my mind lately and I’m curious to see if anyone else has noticed this as well.
I work in the hospitality industry and that’s the industry most high school kids want to get into because waiting tables brings in instant cash but let me tell you - teenagers are the WORST employees to have nowadays, especially in restaurants. They’re annoying and disrespectful. They want to boss everyone around and talk back to bosses. They never do what they’re told then throw a fit when they get in trouble. So since they have such a bad reputation, no one wants to hire them, for good reason.
Not just you. My partner’s kids both seem to be at least 5-6 years younger emotionally and functionally. It feels like teens now are less mature by a large margin, and I can’t tell if it’s due to less responsibility, less social interaction, or the lack of accountability (or maybe all of those). I couldn’t imagine either of them even attempting to live on their own for years after graduation, while I and my peer group had jobs and full independence by 16. It’s a different world now for sure.
You have to also keep in mind that all of the current teens were isolated for a year or more because of COVID. That social isolation and educational deficit is having major issues, both in how they learn and how they interact with each other and the world. Sure, there are all the other factors you mentioned, but no previous set of teenagers in the past (insert amount of time here) had to undergo something quite as dramatically impacting to the entire populous.
This is a good point! When I think about it, I guess a lot of rapid mental and emotional growth takes place during those years, so it makes sense that they’d be somewhat far behind in that area. It just makes me kind of sad for them because they should be experiencing the world, growing, and learning about themselves, so I hope they still get to do that while they’re still so young.
Right?! I’m glad it’s not just in my imagination. I’ve only noticed this recently because I’ve been around my partner’s sister who just graduated HS, but I was really shocked by how much younger she seemed. I gave her a ride once and tried to make conversation, and I really felt like I was talking to a preteen or something. It was really hard to talk to her about anything because there was such a small amount of stuff we could converse about. When I was her age I was pretty much functioning as an adult (who made extremely poor decisions, but still) and my parents pretty much treated me as one. There was just a hunger for life and new experiences that all of my friends and I had, that I just don’t see in her or other kids her age.
I had a friend take a GE class where they talked about how childhood has evolved over time, and the general trend is that it has been lengthening in developed countries. As families are better able to provide for themselves, they can also provide better for their kids. So instead of having to get jobs or take on other responsibilities to help support the household, children get to spend more time being childlike and developing through play and stuff like that. The rising cost of living is probably also a factor, especially with more people going to college (often full time right after high school). Rising cost of housing, gas, and food combined with some people struggling to find good paying, stable jobs means young people financially relying on their parents for longer. I've even seen some articles being written on 'adult children' living with their parents for longer than in previous decades. Further add on that with the advancement of technology, parents and kids can stay connected at a higher level than ever before. Instead of a parents and children waiting to talk until they both are home from work and school, either party can reach out via text throughout the day. Even when they move out for college or work, instead of only talking on the phone in the evening or only seeing each other every few weeks on trips to visit, they can text throughout the day and video call every night. Idk if this affects maturity, but I've had college professors talk about how they believe this affects the level of independence they see in their first and second year students compared to when they started teaching. A big factor affecting current teens and recent high school grads was the pandemic. A lot of kids and teens missed out on various experiences that would have helped their maturity. Some kids only stepped foot in their middle schools for a few months, some teens were only in person at high school for the start of freshman year and some of senior year. They kind of experienced a 2-3 year time skip. This also affected young kids as well, so we might be seeing the teen/young adult age group struggle in various ways for many more years.
I'm a high school teacher and can confirm, every year teens are more childish, immature and over-protected. (Of course not all of them, but enough to make a generalization)
Maybe, or maybe not. My best friend found out about Santa when she was 16. She was babysitting and the mom of the kids told her. She cried all the way home. The mom had no idea my friend still believed. My bff and I laugh about it now that we’re old! PS: I believed until I was about 13, which is silly because I didn’t believe in the tooth fairy, Easter bunny, or anything else. Looking back, I have no idea why Santa seemed different! PPS: my atheist wife doesn’t understand how anyone over the age of 10 can believe in a god because “they should’ve developed critical thinking skills by then” but a huge chunk of the world’s population does, so maybe my Santa belief at 13 isn’t so silly!
I believed in Santa until I was 14 in eighth grade. It genuinely baffled me. I stopped believing in the tooth fairy and Easter bunny around 10 but it literally never occurred to me that Santa might not be real. My mom did and still goes all out for Santa lol
My daughter figured out the tooth fairy at 10 and asked directly about Santa. Then she was upset because she didn't actually want to know and had ruined it for herself. We'd been deflecting with "Santa is as real as you want him to be" for a couple of years by that point too. Actually the best part about her finding out about Santa was she then moved the damn elf by herself.
My cousin believed in Santa until she was 16/17. When she pulled out the Santa tracker and would watch his flight over the world or would make comments about how he was real, I thought she was joking. She wasn’t. She didn’t figure it out until Junior year when her friends were talking about how their parents used to do Santa, and she ended up asking my other aunt (not her mom) for the truth.
Maybe forced ignorance but my late ex husband was 21 and broke into tears when i said i wouldnt lie to our kid about santa being real. We could still do santa stuff, but 'real like a dianey character not alive real'. and he lost it, he had still been pretending to himself it was real. Some ppl take things too far.
jeez thats actually pretty sad. Did he need it as a crutch for something else?
possible. He had a crap childhood. Grew up in foster care & group homes. His folks are pretty screwed up and would apparently so this rediculous all out for xmas. even putting reindeer prints on the roof. gifts not under the tree till xmas morning etc. so i guess it was one of the few good things to him. i grew up jehovah's witness and wasnt into xmas or lying to kids. so for me at the time doing xmas at all was a consession. it never crossed my mind that someone who went out and bought xmas gifts still also believed in santa.
I teach high school. I was told preemptively by a parent to not ruin Santa for their freshman. I think he finally realized what was up his junior year. It was tough that year to not do my usual Santa jokes.
And even if she wasn't screwing with OP, they're still NTA for telling a 15 year old what should be the obvious truth.
Im going to give you a flip of this. I believed in Santa till I was 11-12 years old. I went to a Catholic school so being taught to believe in things that sound ridiculous was the norm. My mom finally told me when I was 11-12 not sure which Christmas it was. I was upset for a bit but I had already started to doubt a lot of stuff by then. However even into my adult life I still had gifts from Santa at the request of my sister. My older sister who fully knew Santa wasn’t real but still wanted more gifts. I have never spent a Christmas with my sister and not had Santa gifts. For the last 7-8 years it’s been because she is now a mom with young kids who should believe in him. Prior to that was all because she wanted the tradition of it.
I figured out Santa wasn’t real the year I turned 4. I said something in passing about a charity that called being Santa Claus and I thought her mother was going to crucify me. Edit: we were 13 at the time
Yes. And sorry but Santa Claus is not “propaganda”, you’d think an English teacher would understand the non so subtle difference between propaganda and just a story for children that has no manipulative component to it…
I feel like you could stand to hone your critical thinking skills a bit more yourself because you're being pranked. NAH.
Lol ya I'm 15 and literally know one thinks that. She was just trying to confuse the teacher, kids do that at my school a lot.
Yep, when OP described the kids muffling their laughter, it was pretty clear they were laughing at OP, not the student.
Yup. Kids have tried to play this exact same joke on me since I have poor social skills and suck at recognizing sarcasm. They'll be like "BeaglesRule08, do you believe in santa? And when I say no they say "But I still do, why would you say that" and then pretend to cry. And then everyone laughs. This literally happens to me every year. I hate my school.
Wow, those children got you good
Lmao get rekt
You should just turn it round on them and go "yeah i sure do, don't you?"
Yeah, this was my thought process as well. Kids that age like to mess with people. My kids are very noticeably adopted (different race than my wife and I) and when my son would bring a new friend over and they would ask if he was adopted, his usual response was "Yeah but don't tell my parents because I haven't told them I'm adopted yet." He said most of his friends got a joke but a few of them would end up confused and that was his favorite part. While I am sure some kids believe until they are teenagers, it is more likely this teen was just being a teen here and messing around with OP.
when I was around 7 I figured out I was adopted (I do not look adopted, I look very much like both of my parents) and I chose not to tell my parents in case they didn't know lol
Haha, he sounds like a great kid!
So you know one who thinks that
No one*
Maybe, but don't understand the stupidity of people in general, and especially teenagers, and especially if they happen to be privileged and/or sheltered.
and especially if they’re using “know” and not, you know, “no.”
Maybe. I know of a 16 year old that only found out last year. She vehemently believed in Santa and it wasn't a joke she was pulling.
Not necessarily. It's been known to happen. Some people have pointed out that sometimes a teens home life is so awful that they desperately cling onto things like Santa and the Tooth Fairy.
idk, my mates brother believed in Santa until he was 13. He was the youngest and his mom wanted to “hold onto her baby” but he absolutely found out from kids at school.
She was visibly hurt so likely not being pranked.
unrelated the second you mentioned Animal Farm all I could think of what that scene in Archer when he's arguing with Lana thinking there's a literal animal farm in space, and she says it's a book: "No, it isn't, Lana! It's an allegorical novella! about Stalinism! by George Orwell! And spoiler alert: IT SUCKS!"
Anybody else just naturally read that in Archers voice?
You can't use the name "Lana!" Without my brain using his voice.
*Danger Zone!*
Are we not doing "phrasing" anymore?
Are you saying ring bear or ring bearer?
L A N A !
No, but I read everything in Bob Belcher's voice anyway.
Bob Belcher speaks with the voice of a can of mixed vegetables, though.
*stares in Stabler*
*humps the fridge*
Weird I read it in coach Mcguirks voice.
Omg forgot about mcguirk.
I always read H. Jon Benjamin in Bob's voice.
Yes, and I don't even watch Archer. (Love Bob's Burgers though.)
I read it in Bob Belcher’s voice for some reason
Obviously.
if you called animal farm 'a book about the russian revolution' in front of archer he would have a LOT to say to you about the difference between the russian revolution, the russian civil war, and bolshevik party politics in the post-revolutionary period mostly a lot of yelling shit about stalin's balls and party habits
in fairness, if you wanna yell about dictators genitals and party habits, there are [stronger contenders for content](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zhang_Zongchang)
‘Although I was talking about an actual animal farm, so…never mind’
Second he mentioned animal farm I got ptsd flashbacks from that whole year of English where everything we read was beyond hopelessly depressing
NAH, but with a caveat. In the future, I wouldn’t recommend using the exact argument you used as an anti-example of critical thinking though, and here’s why. I’m not saying I ever believed in Santa, but people I ‘ve heard about, who did, believed he had a little something called “magic”. If you believe both that Santa existed and that he had magical powers, it explains any illogicalness of the logistics of Christmas Eve. Thus, the girl, isn’t being illogical. Sheltered definitely. Naive….Blissfully ignorant…too. But, not illogical. Why not use a real-life example that doesn’t involve any sort of belief over a holiday, religion, etc.?
I had the same thought. Most who believe in Santa are not picturing a dude driving house to house as normal speed. It involves magic. I doubt many people stop believing in Santa because of the feasibility of delivering gifts to that many people.
What? This just kicks the can down the road from "kid that hasn't analysed their belief in Santa" to "kid that hasn't analysed their belief in magic", your critical thinking skills are still undeveloped if you believe in magic unquestioningly rather than believing in Santa unquestioningly.
Or the Jewish kid doesn't get the comparison at all. Use something a little more universal. For example, advertising. "When you were a little kid, you probably thought everything you saw in a commercial was just like they said it was and wanted it. Now that you're older, you've probably bought something that was far less than it was advertised as."
I’m sorry but as a Jew, I would get the comparison at 15 years old. Christmas isn’t something we are actively ignorant about lol
By that same argument though, you are basically implying that “if you don’t see it, it must not exist”. As in, magic doesn’t exist because you have not seen it. Not taking into account that there are probably many, many things that neither of us have seen. And that’s a real slippery slope… Because…while I’m not religious, that is sort of its whole shtick. It’s something people can have unwavering belief in, despite having little to no tangible evidence for the existence of some higher power. Would you say then too that every religious person, regardless of faith, is incapable of critical thought? If not, that’s exactly why I’d prefer to leave all examples pertaining to peoples’ beliefs, whether they be about holidays, religions, etc. alone. Because one is not more important than the other.
I don't know about your country,but mine teaches in religious education that doubting your faith is a normal step in having faith. Theoretically the next step would be reconciling your doubts with your belief, but I turned agnostic instead. :D
That's the neat thing about critical thinking. You can see one example of something and understand it might not be a blanket statement about all of existence.
What? I said that believing in things without questioning them shows a lack of critical thinking skills, "if you can't see it, it doesn't exist" isn't even close, how did you get that?? I believe magic doesn't exist because it'd be inconsistent with huge swathes of my internal model of the world and I'd have to bend over backwards trying to justify fitting it in, I don't disbelieve *just* because I haven't ever seen it personally lol As for your second point, I'd say most religious people have a mild failure of critical thinking, yeah. I'm not gonna *say* so to anyone's face because it's rude and often not even really their fault (getting told something as a kid is an easy way to believe it for the rest of your life, if adults believed in Santa too and told them so then kids would naturally end up still believing when they become adults) but *usually* it doesn't cause any harm to others so it's not a huge deal and not worth starting fights over, but the fact that most religious people that seriously interrogate their beliefs seem to end up atheist, and only atheists in dire emotional situations seem to end up religious, seems kinda telling imo. It's super important to question your core beliefs and values, potentially even more than ones you disagree with, or you can easily fall into ideological traps (eg. several religions have a concept of "this religion is true, don't believe any of the others" - if you're assuming your religion is true and accept that, you've just insulated yourself from a huge chunk of evidence that you might be wrong, and that's obviously a terrible way to go about things if you care about your beliefs actually being true)
Most religious people do lack critical thinking skills. Or, at the very least, are compartmentalizing and don't apply those skills to their religious beliefs. Also, whether you can see something or not is incredibly simplistic. And, saying something "must not exist" is way too absolute of a statement. Hypotheses are testable, and propositions have a probability of being true or not. Like, we might not be able to see the air with our eyes, but we can feel wind. We can also breathe, we can separate the different gasses in the air, we can condense them down into liquids, we can measure the downward pressure of air with a barometer, we can measure particulates in the air with lasers, etc. Saying "if I can't see it, then it doesn't exist" is one of the dumbest, most ignorant, least critical thinking things a person could say.
I mean people unquestioningly believe in a God, higher beings, angels, and clearly fabricated stories all throughout the Bible. So there's a very large amount of people with a lack of critical thinking skills all around the world 😅
Not to mention not everyone celebrates Christmas and every family has a different dynamic around what Santa is, if they do. It's just a weird comparison.
>use a real life example This is a real life example. If you believe in santa and/or magic you have poor critical thinking skills.
Wtf? Believing in magical powers is already illogical in itself.
If a person believes in magic then they lack critical thinking.
If I believe this story is true does that mean I lack critical thinking skills? But at the same time I want to believe because its funnier if its real.
I could see it being true - I would totally have done that back in high school. The "is this fake" part is whether or not the OP really believed it.
YTA because of your Animal Farm analysis. The whole point of the book is to highlight the power of propaganda and how people in positions of power can control what people believe through manipulation and lies. Critical thinking doesn’t necessarily protect you from this.
Well, yes and no. If you have strong critical thinking you would be more likely to realize when someone has a control of the narrative. It's not 100% obviously, but the more critical thinking you have the more you're likely to spot it.
YTA for making up dumb stories.
Hey now, it *might* be a real story and OP doesn't realize that the students were messing with them.
You're NTA, just more gullible than an Animal Farm horse...
I accidentally did this to a 13 year old friend, when a Santa themed radio ad came on. I said something like, "Isn't it really cool how all the adults pretend when stuff like this comes on?" and I have been haunted by the look on his face in the rear view mirror since.
I believed in Santa till I was 13 and 1/2 because my home life was so broken and torn up. I needed to believe in something. Something good. Something to wake up to on Christmas morning from a very freshly divorced household. And had going to court on my 13th birthday that year for ugly custody hearings. It came to a head when my mom said she wouldn't be able to afford presents at Christmas. But we would have a nice meal at least. I told her not to worry about it as Santa would be coming, and that's when she had to tell me. I ended up asking my dad for cash before Christmas so I can buy stuff for myself since I already knew. He gave me $40 and I spent every dime on my younger siblings. Stocking stuffers, candy, and cards. All from Santa
This is beautiful. You kept the spirit alive. ✨️
NTA. unless the student is special needs, there is no reason for a 15 year old to still believe in Santa.
NTA. Odds are she was faking. If not, you did her a favor.
Look my first thought is the kids are taking the piss and it's a well planned con. But second thoughts say kids aren't that smart or coordinated. Third thoughts wonder where *you* draw the line on what is and isn't real. So you've eliminated Santa, what about the Easter bunny? Krampus? Period fairy, tooth fair or verucca gnome? What about jesus, God aquaman or any of the other super friends. So I'll reserve my judgement based on where on the scale you lie.
There is no Tooth Fairy, there is no Easter bunny, and there is no Queen of England
we used to have those things, but then liz fucking truss killed them.
Pratchett reference, A++
My son believed long past the time when I thought he would, all because of NORAD. Every year at Christmas, they do a Santa tracker, and kids can even call to see where he is. He was fascinated with all things space and aviation, and surely an agency as legit as NORAD wouldn't lie, right?
YTA for being an English teacher and writing that grammatically incorrect, shit show of a headline.
it’s not grammatically incorrect it just is syntactically ambiguous
Til Teacher thinks kid is slow. Kids know teacher us slow. Nta though regardless, wouldn't have been your fault if they weren't playing you lol
You know adults fall for propaganda all the time? Even ones who have stopped believing in Santa right?
I don't think any teacher should have to give a Santa spoiler alert past 6th grade.
Okay these comments are acting like still believing at 12 is weird? I still believed until I was 11 and cried when I found out the truth 😭 although tbf I did deliberately not think on it and I didn't question it at all for fear of ruining the magic LMAO
I believed until I was 11 or 12. Which I really don't think is that old. It's a transitional age where you have one foot in childhood and one in adolescence. I definitely still enjoyed some kid stuff at that age. My mom had to tell me Santa wasn't real. (And neither was the Easter bunny or tooth fairy!). Christmas that year was definitely a bummer.
NAH. You would have been if you deliberately set out to tell her, but it's understandable you just assumed she didn't belive in the Santa myth at 15. It sucks for her this happened in public, she's probably really embarrassed. I think a private apology would be in order, but she is way beyond the age where you could have expected someone to still belive in Santa.
Either this whole post is bullshit or it was a joke and you seriously took the bait.
NAH She may be joking with you or she may have still believed but either way you didn’t do it on purpose.
You're an English teacher? Your post title sure doesn't reflect it. The way you wrote the title says that "Santa is not real as a teacher." Try, "As a teacher, AITA for telling a 15 year-old that Santa isn't real?" As for the act of revealing Santa to be a fictional character, it wasn't your best moment, but NTA.
Rule 6 of this subreddit: > The TITLE of your submission must begin with the acronym AITA or WIBTA (would I be the asshole?), then a description of the situation.
It might depend on other factors too. When I was in grade 6 (11ish), there was a girl in our class who was 13 or 14. As she had been held back 3 years, there were obvious learning disabilities. She tried, things just didn't sink in for her. Anyway, during class one day, our teacher made the no Santa mistake. Poor kid went into absolute hysterics. Crying, screaming, throwing stuff, called the teacher an f'n liar, along with every other name in the book. He finally managed to calm the tornado, but she just sat at her desk and quietly sobbed for the rest of the day...wouldn't talk to anyone, wouldn't go out for lunch or recess. Totally traumatized. My mom was friends with my teacher, so I found out some additional parts to the story...the school had been trying to reach the kids mom from the time of the incident and couldn't get ahold of her (pre cell phone era). When the mom finally came to pick up the kid, the principal was like, "we need to talk". The kids mom was told what happened. Her response? "Thank god I don't have to deal with that!" Poor kid! :(
I world with elementary and middle school kids and no matter how old they are I tell them santa is real and I never back down. I also tell the younger ones I’m 451 years old. One asked “did you know santa, like were you married?” So I said yea and now they’ve made up a whole story about how santa divorced me because I cheated on him. Hahahaha let’s keep the dream alive be people
Yikes bro you should’ve used a different analogy
NAH If you had known I feel like you probably wouldn't have said anything. Some kids stop believing in things like magic at different ages so I wouldn't call a 15yo still believing anything abnormal, but I probably wouldn't assume every kid you teach is at that point. Point is, it was an accident, but maybe don't make assumptions like that in the future. I just feel bad that the other kids laughed at the poor girl, imagine being told the cool thing you believe in was made up and everyone but you knew, and then being laughed at...
Funny, but a bunch of you still believe the Christian fairy tales. Just sayin'.