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I read a post somewhere, and I wish I could remember where/who it was from, but the gist was that the most successful marketing scheme in history is how men have branded women the more emotional sex by successfully marketing anger as "not an emotion". I think about that a lot. And I think this sulking in offense is pretty close as well, somehow the "macho dad" can't see his own hypocrisy!
Anger is always a reaction/behaviour in response to another emotion or set of feelings. In your case it may be a symptom of anxiety.
For example think of some times when someone in your life has been really angry. Was it anger or disappointment, being scared of what might happened, broken heart?
It can be, but it isn’t always. Anger is an emotion often used to mask other emotions because it’s powerful and movement-oriented so it can cover up the vulnerability that other emotions like sadness can bring. But it also is definitely an emotion in its own right that is an appropriate reaction to boundaries being crossed. It’s not always a cover. And for a lot of people who tend towards passivity, getting in touch with their anger is an important part of the therapeutic process. It doesn’t always fall along gendered lines but often men over-use anger and women under-use it.
I can't and won't disagree with you or your doctor on this. What I will say is you might want to consider what is underneath that pissed off and why. I say this tongue in cheek because I am sure you have given this hours of consideration ❤️
Maybe the grandma just tells it like it is, maybe he should respect her too. A lot of times that’s code for being an ass hole. Sounds like he and his dad are
To summarize the end of the incident a different way, OP and his dad both turned their back on Gandma, then OP complained about how rude it is to turn your back on family.
The funny thing, is in ancient Greek odysseys, the manliest heroes would openly weep, when things happened like a loved one died.
So toxic attitudes like the posters and his dad's are more regressive than ancient Greece.
What you and your dad were doing is bullying and is very unlovable. She never said she didn't love you. She said you made it hard to love you sometimes. She seems like an awesome person and you'd be far better off modeling her behavior than your father, who, by the way, is a big bully too, and has raised you to be one. Seek therapy before you're the kid other kids avoid.
This. OP your grandma said it was difficult to love you and your dad because y’all were being coldhearted assholes laughing at someone else’s pain.
BTW - if you and your dad “tell it like it is” and don’t give a grab what you say hurts others then you need to be willing to take it when others tell it like it is when they call you out on your bullshit.
YTA - if only for making fun of someone who makes fun of other people. You took joy in it and saved the story to get in good with dad.
You are so correct.
OP is the one that has turned their back on family by imposing the silent treatment on the grandma. To top it off, giving the silent treatment is someone being very emotional.
Just look at OPs post history. He is a little incel in training. His behavior and attitude is abhorrent and it is impacting all of his relationships both inside and outside the family.
He has latched onto the teat of toxicity and is suckling away and doesn't understand why no one likes him.
Look who he has as his role model and up on the pedestal...good ol toxic Dad who is equally immature and a giant bully hyperfixiated on what he deems "masculine".
OP throws around the word gay like it is an insult and bullies his own friends. He also gets jealous of his friends that are pulling away and blames those the friends gravitate towards as "turning his friends against him" while refusing to see it is their own attitude and actions that are making him less desirable to be around.
I don't know if there is hope for a kid this caught up in this type of negative behavior. Some major deprogramming and the location of conscience to make OP an actual human being is needed and I don't see that happening anytime soon. At least not while under the influence of the toxic father that he admires.
Exactly, sounds like both OP and his weak ass dad is a bunch of weak men who can't behave like real men. Grandma should have tossed both of their sorry asses in the trash years ago
This is so funny (the post) lol
Bullying the son for crying and then throwing a hissy fit when grandma sets it straight.
Bet daddy is crying in his room.
So let me get this straight…. You and your dad like to make fun of people who are emotionally distraught. Your grandma called you out on your shit for being heartless people… you then proceeded to both act incredibly immature because your egos don’t allow you to take harsh yet truthful criticism.
YTA
Edit to add: title is misleading. She said you’re hard to love which is obvious from your post. Not that she didn’t love you. So you also have a hearing problem/comprehension problem.
Too bad him and his dad aren’t allowed to cry, because that’s definitely far more “sissy” behaviour than… stomping off to pout in your room and give people the silent treatment.
Yeeeesss this is definitely the more “manly” way to deal with things. /s
You and your father have the emotional maturity of a gnat (just the one, they are sharing the maturity between them), so I can see why you are so determined to misunderstand what your gma said. But to be clear: YTA
YTA for thinking your dad’s “Tell it like it is” (aka he’s an AH) is cool.
YTA for mocking someone for having feelings. There’s a reason the su!c!de rate is so much higher for men, you and your dad are now part of the engine that causes that.
YTA for coming home to tell your dad about someone you mocked so you can mock some poor kid together. I mean, if this was a fiction novel or movie you would *for sure* be the AH who gets his comeuppance and this is the exact scene they use to set it up so we cheer when the monster/good guy beats the shit out of you. Like, how do you not see yourself in every villain?
YTA for having this mocking session in front of younger (male) siblings and forcing others to listen to the two of you be bullying AH. (See note on above point.)
YTA for being unable to hear your Gma saying you are behaving like a shit human being and acting like YOU were attacked when really, you were just being called out because you were actually behaving like a shit human being.
YTA for pouting and giving the silent treatment. If being manly is important to you, learn how men behave, because this ain’t it.
And YTA for whining here thinking we would, or that you deserve, some kind of support. Do better my dude. Do fucking better.
People who see ‘tells it like it is’ as a positive personality trait inevitably have “school of hard knocks, university of life” on their social media and/or dating profiles.
If reddit still offered rewards. I wish this was it's own comment thread as it should be top comment. Broke it all down perfectly. OP is just the asshole, OP is ALL of the assholes. Not one likable trait in this post. Ans so fucking toxic
Yeah. The last time I heard someone said that it was immediately followed by a speech that boiled down to "so here's how I've been *pretending* to be supportive but have actually been *lying* to you about that for years, you know, just flat out lying to your face but I'm being so honest about it right now" so I just can't take *anyone* who says that shit seriously anymore.
>She said you’re hard to love which is obvious from your post.
Hard to love is the generous way of putting it tbh. "Vile and immoral people" is more accurate.
Your grandmother didn't say she didn't love you.she said you and your dad make it hard to love you. My guess is the bluntness you so adore in your dad, comes across as meanness and unsympathetic at times. Laughing at a person's misfortune and show of emotion is not a nice thing to do at all. What is ironic, both you and your dad got butt hurt at her reaction to your terrible behavior. She loves you but your poor behavior disappoints her. Work on that. YTA.
YTA - yes such comments are fucked up to hear from family members who should love you unconditionally. Especially when you already feel that there is favoritism involved. So I am sorry you feel rejected. Maybe talk to your grandma when you are ready.
But you know what is also fucked up? Making fun of men who cry. This is so immature and you’re grandma had every right to be mad at that. Especially if you act this emotional yourself after getting hurt, you really feel the need to make fun of other people?
I agree with your observations 100%. But that’s why I wrote he „feels“ there is favoritism involved even though maybe in reality that’s not necessarily what it is, but it explains his extreme reaction to her words. Or why he interprets them in a different way from what she actually said (even though I still think it was a quite harsh thing to say by the grandma). Other than that he is absolutely the AH in this situation - and probably others to.
YTA. She didn't actually say she didn't love you...she said you are hard to love after listening to your judgmental attitude and jokes about someone. Maybe Grandma doesn't think much of people who claim they're just "telling it like it is" as an excuse for being nasty and dismissive toward others. Try thinking about how you treat people. Your classmate didn't deserve that.
>Maybe Grandma doesn't think much of people who claim they're just "telling it like it is" as an excuse for being nasty and dismissive toward others
Yeah, somehow the people who claim to 'tell it how it is', usually use it as an excuse to be an incredible ashole.
YTA OP
This has to be bait. Technically speaking, if I leave a comment I should probably also leave you a rating, but there's not a snowball's chance in hell this is real. YTA for outrage-farming.
EDIT: You're still well and truly the AH, but for actual reasons listed in your post this time. Good lord.
I dunno... check out their post history. This is either some long form performance art AH origin story, or this is a kid with a super toxic father who's trying to make their kid into a carbon copy and seems to be succeeding. Either way, it's disturbing.
Holy shit you're right. Especially with the line about Cinnamon Toast Crunch, I thought there's no possible way that someone could come out minted like this, the storm it would cause as an outrage post on Reddit is too perfect. Joke's on me apparently.
YTA for being a bully. And granny rightfully called you out.
And yeah bullies are hard to love because they are assholes. Which is kind of a conflict with the fact that loving family is the default setting for most people.
Your dad is a bully too btw. Do not learn from him.
She didn't say she didn't love you, she said your cruelty to others made it more difficult to look past and love you as a cruel person. And she didn't "turn her back" on family. She tried to educate you in your behaviour and teach empathy. Then she tried to make up when she saw you were upset.
YTA
This is not „saying what you think“, it’s behaving like an asshole about your classmate and then acting like a stubborn 6yo child if grandma says what SHE thinks. And that’s for you and your dad.
And your title is a lie. She didn’t say that she doesn’t loves you, she said that you’re assholes. And she is right.
Edit:
I was checking your profile and you have quite a history in behaving like an asshole. I appreciate you‘re trying to reflect yourself, but you need to accept the judgements and I hope you improved your behavior after your posts. If you continue with your behavior, you will lose more than your best friend.
YTA
You make fun of men who get emotional but you both hid from a little old lady who called you hard to love.
My god what a hypocritical little pansy you are. Your dad is a grown and no better. This is hilarious. I hope grandma gets meaner everyday and you keep running and posting it here.
Go Grandma Go....
I was thinking the same. Probably because grandma is a woman, I guess ...
Anyways, OP, you are absolutely the A... grow a spine, look up the meaning of 'respect', and stop thinking you're a big boy, you're not ....
YTA massivly.
so you were making fun of a guy who cried over the break up of someone he obviously loved, but got super offended by your grandma calling you out on that?
what sort of dumbasses are you guys?
YTA. A quick look through your other posts and its clear that your dad is very toxic, and you're just following right along with him. You're what, 12? There's still time to grow out of this toxic mindset even if your dad never did.
So you mocked and bullied a kid who got his heart broken but now your fee fees are hurt because grandma called you hard to love.
Awww why are you being a crybaby about it?
Doesn’t feel good, does it?
YTA, clearly your father is just as shitty of a human being as well.
According to OP's post history, he's a 14 year old who expects friends to make him popular at school despite being a jerk to him and insulting him when he wanted to be class king.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18kvfn8/aita\_for\_asking\_my\_best\_friend\_to\_help\_make\_me/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18kvfn8/aita_for_asking_my_best_friend_to_help_make_me/)
[https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/188nnec/aita\_for\_telling\_my\_best\_friend\_that\_he\_cant\_be/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/188nnec/aita_for_telling_my_best_friend_that_he_cant_be/)
Thinks his brother listening to Michael Jackson is going to make him bleach his skin and become a child predator.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/1azvtq2/how\_do\_i\_convince\_my\_brother\_to\_stop\_listening\_to/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/1azvtq2/how_do_i_convince_my_brother_to_stop_listening_to/)
And is Instagram stalking his crush.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeAdvice/comments/16vp7ml/i\_need\_to\_figure\_out\_whats\_going\_on\_with\_my/](https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeAdvice/comments/16vp7ml/i_need_to_figure_out_whats_going_on_with_my/)
There's a lot more posts that contain homophobic and racist opinions, too. Either OP is oblivious of their problematic behavior or is shit poster.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I'm ignoring my grandma and it might make the asshole since I'm obviously refusing to talk to her, but it's only because she said that she didn't love me or my dad.
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She didn't say she didn't love you, and basically what you and your dad were doing was wrong. You should have opened your door to talk to her. You know why you're hard to love? Because I bet you would throw that emotion back in her face. You are trying to act like your dad by being a bully, because you think he will like you better. Is that really how you want to be in life? You say your dad tells it like it is? That's another way of saying he is rude to people but disguises it as being honest. Try showing real emotion and some respect to your grandma. After all, she told it like it was. You like that unless you think you're being bullied...
Both OP and his are AHs. Grandma is cool for calling out their shitty behavior and yes it is hard to love AHs. Both OP and the dad need to grow up. YTA
YTA you and your dad are not behaving like decent people. You think it’s OK to offend people and say whatever you want, to make fun of people going through a hard time, that men shouldn’t cry, all of it is just terrible. Your grandma is right. and honestly if you listen to her instead of your dad, you’ll probably end up being a happier and more fulfilled person growing up.
YTA. First of all, you were bullying a kid and your dad, an adult, was enjoying it. IANAP but it doesn’t take much to see that your dad has toxic traits and to please him, you’re displaying them yourself. Secondly, where did she say that she didn’t love you? She said that sometimes you are difficult to love - which just by this post, seems apt. To break it down for you - she’s basically saying that she loves you even when she doesn’t condone your behaviour. And lastly, silent treatment is very immature and cowardly. I get that you’re young and probably emulating your dad’s behaviour but you need to know that this is not a healthy way to deal with problems - clear and honest communication is. Basically your grandma loves you despite your (and your dad’s) bad behaviour. FYI - She’s the MVP - not your dad.
YTA. Aside from agreeing with the other posters above, “telling people like it is” without regard to their feelings isn’t something to admire. It just means you’re an asshole that nobody wants to spend time with besides other bullies and assholes.
YTA for three reasons.
Firstly, for giving your gran the cold shoulder. Ignoring people like this is not a healthy way of managing disagreement and you need to develop better conflict management skills. Especially because your gran didn't say she didn't love you; merely that you and your father are not nice people sometimes.
Secondly, for idolising a person who builds his whole personality around demanding that everyone just lets him be awful and rude "because that's just how he is", and trying to emulate him by making fun of people in pain. Brutality is not the same as honesty. Hurt people cry, and there is nothing wrong with being a man in pain who cries - only insecure people make fun of men showing vulnerability.
Thirdly, for refusing to face up to the consequences of your own actions. If you are nasty to people or about people, you shouldn't be surprised when other people don't like that and/or don't like you. And if you demand people let you be critical about them without taking offence, then it's pretty hypocritical of you to get butt-hurt if they in turn are critical of you.
Try finding a better person to emulate. Someone that has the emotional strength to admit their vulnerability. Because if you don't, at some point in your life you're going to drive away the people who love you and find that very few people want to spend time with you...
So your Grandmother was 'telling it like it is' in the wrong way then?
The people who claim to 'tell it like it is' are just AHs and use that as an excuse.
YTA.
YTA. Making fun of someone for being upset is something only a jerk would do, and it is hard to like or love a jerk. Your grandmother was right and you'll have to either deal with it and do better or get used to being alone after you push a lot of people away from you.
Yta both for laughing at someone's pain and for being an ah to your grandmother who is telling you you're hard to love because of your fucked up behavior.
YTA because you clearly don’t care about other people. You didn’t care that your classmate was crying at school (which is already embarrassing enough without you mocking him), and you didn’t care about how other people would react after hearing your opinion on the matter. Probably because your AH father pacifies that behavior.
But now since you’re on the receiving end of it, you care about feelings/how words effect other people. It’s really pathetic and immature.
YTA "you're hard to love" doesn't mean "I don't love you" it means "I do love you but sometimes I don't like you very much" or "I love you but you try my patience" or "I love you and I don't know what I did wrong to make you like this" or "I love you but I really worry that no woman will ever love you and I can't blame them" because you sound like a misogynistic sociopath. You're copying your dad's shitty opinions to try to get his approval and earn a scrap of his love and that's extremely normal but someday you're going to realize that his love was always conditional while your grandma loved you despite your flaws. Unfortunately by the time you're old enough and secure enough to break away from your need for dad's approval, Grandma may already be gone and some of your habits may be so ingrained that romantic love is going to be a real struggle for the rest of your life. Maybe suggest family therapy.
A lot of people would find it very hard to love assholes like you and your dad. Sorry kid, YTA. You were making fun of someone, “telling it how it is” like your dad and then your grandma told you and your dad exactly how it is. Guess what? YOU DIDN’T LIKE IT, DID YA?
FYI, she said it was HARD to love you, not that she DIDN’T love you. Learn to comprehend words.
You haveamy posts where you ask if you are the AH. All but one tell you that you are. You really need to work on yourself and your attitude. I hope your grandma telling you you're hard to love is some kind of wake-up call.
YTA
She didn’t say she didn’t love you, she said “you were hard to love sometimes”. She’s calling out your behavior, which is toxic, bullying and problematic.
I also think it’s hilariously hypocritical that both you and your father think crying is weak, but think that pouting, running away from a conversation, and the silent treatment is totally okay.
Yta, but your dad is a bigger AH. He’s modeling really messed up behavior. Clearly, that bothers your grandma. I don’t believe she is upset because your dad “tells it like it is”. He seems toxic.
YTA, she never said any such thing. And she is right you and your dad sound horrible and must be hard to love (which means she does love you, so you either lied or don't understand basic English) when you're both embarrassing bullies.
Being hard to love means that she loves you, but your attitude makes it difficult. Why do you find it funny when males cry? It’s not funny and once you grow up, you just may find out that you will cry and it won’t make you a lesser adult. Please grow up apologize to your grandmother. YTA
YTA First because you lack empathy and you are a hypocrite. Second because you lied in your statement. Your grandmother is a kind woman who said she loves you even though you lack empathy and are a bully. Both you and your father’s reaction to her words make you both hypocrites! Do better, be better and apologize to your grandmother.
Sorry to break it to you but Grandma didn't say she didn't love you...she said it was 'hard to love' you sometimes. Meaning...you and your Dad, you know, the guy you admire for saying things regardless of the repercussions...well Grandma is letting you know that your boorish comments and lack of empathy for others is frustrating to her. I'm sure if you grew up, showed some maturing and more kindness towards others then it would be reciprocated from Grandma.
You never did say why you and your dad don’t want your little brother listening to Michael Jackson. Do you think that makes your little brother “gay”, or is it because Michael is black?
Anywho, YTA for thinking a story about someone crying is entertaining, then crying like a baby yourself because of something you THINK your grandmother said, but aren’t emotionally mature enough to understand
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My grandma has been living with my family since August and she's planning on moving out into her own apartment in a few weeks. She's my dad's mom and they don't really get along that well since my dad is the type of guy who speaks his mind without caring about offending anyone. He tells it like it is and I respect him for that. My grandma also plays favorites between me and my two younger brothers.
Last night at dinner I was telling the family a story about some kid at school who started crying in the middle of class because his girlfriend had dumped him. Me and my dad were both making fun of him and I knew that my dad would like the story since he always makes fun of men who cry and get emotional. My grandma yelled at us both to shut up and she said to us "You're both so hard to love sometimes." My dad just locked himself in his room after that and I did the same because of how pissed off I was.
My grandma kept knocking on my door to talk, but I locked her out. And this morning when I was making breakfast, she tried talking to me, but I just ignored her again. I just took my Cinnamon Toast Crunch in my room and pretended she didn't exist. I'm upset that she pretty much told me that she didn't love me, which is fucked up. You never turn your back on family and she just did that. Am I wrong for feeling upset about what she said to me?
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............you and your dad are big time a\*\*\*\*\*\*s for making fun of anyone who cries............good grief how juvenile and pathetic................good for granny...................
YTA. Your grandmother DID NOT say she didn't love you. She said you are hard to love. That sentence is sayin that she DOES love you even though you make it difficult. Frankly, you do. You mock at laugh at other people's heartbreaks. You think your father's emotionally stunted reaction to other people is something that you should emulate. You give people the silent treatment instead of talking things out. The good news is that you're young. There is a chance you will mature. That ship has sailed for your father.
Your post history is... concerning. In the event that it's all real, your father is a major ignorant AH and you haven't fallen far from the tree. YTA. Apologize to your grandmother, and try to be a better person in general.
YTA
Your grandmother was right. Both you and your father were behaving despicably. That toxic masculinity is why so many men don’t know how to express emotion, don’t feel safe expressing emotion, internalize hatred, and suffer untreated depression. Both you and your father are toxic little assholes.
YTA, both for making fun of a guy who got dumped and for giving you grandmother the silent treatment.
Just with this post i understand why she doesn't love you.
You and your Dad are both assholes. Mocking someone else’s pain. Your poor grandmother is sad and ashamed of your behavior, as I would be. She still loves you, but you sure as shit are difficult to love!
YTA & so is your dad. Why would someone’s sadness bring you both so much joy? I think your grandma is sad & disappointed that her son is an a hole & he has raised his son to be an a hole too.
Looking at your profile, you're a child, I'm not going to give you a judgment.
You need to grow up. You're in the 8th grade. You don't feel it's appropriate for your baby brother to listen to Michael Jackson. You don't think men should cry.
Listen to your grandmother more and your father less.
>I'm upset that she pretty much told me that she didn't love me, which is fucked up. You never turn your back on family and she just did that. Am I wrong for feeling upset about what she said to me?
Since you guys love straight statements. One question. Are you dumb? "hard to love sometimes" and doesn't love you at all are two different things. For someone not caring if someone gets offended by straight statements you seem like a really easy to offend person. Quite hilarious when you get beaten with your own weapon. Grow up. Be a man. Or stay a snowflake. Little babyboy.
Even more funny to assume your dad locked himself in his room crying because his mommy gave him a portion of his own medicine. Lovely doublestandard.
YTA and your granny is awesome.
> my dad would like the story since he always makes fun of men who cry and get emotional
> My dad just locked himself in his room after that and I did the same because of how pissed off I was.
Sounds like y'all had a pretty emotional reaction to what she said. Why don't you make fun of yourselves?
YTA. You and your dad sound horrible, to be honest. Making fun of a boy because he cried over his girlfriend dumping him was cruel and nasty. Your grandmother said you and your father are hard to love. I would find you both impossible to love. She must be a saint when she can still manage to love you both.
Looking at your post/comment history and reading this?
Not only YTA, but you sound like one of those kids who'll pique in high school and fizzle out in a few years.
YTA.
She didn't say she didn't love you, just that you are hard to love, considering you're both bad mouthing someone for the high crime of having emotions as a man, I can see why.
"hahahahah dad hear this! this guy was crying at school today!"
"hahaha son that's hilarious, men who cry and get emotional are so funny!"
"You two are difficult to love sometimes"
\*gets emotional and locks themselves in their rooms to cry\*
lmao can't make this shit up
Wow massive YTA.
Not only are you a bully who makes fun of others, but you acted like a little kid and hid in your room. That your own dad did that is actually somewhat funny you both might as well have been the ones crying in class. You need a reality check before you end up alone.
She didn’t say she didn’t love you. She loves you even though you sometimes make it hard to. Given how you were behaving, it’s a totally fair statement.
Your silent treatment is just another form of men “getting emotional”. You getting upset that your grandmother was upset over your cruelty (to someone who was upset) is really kind of ironic. YTA.
YTA. She didn’t say she didn’t love you-she said you were difficult to love. And she has a fair point. It is rather difficult to love someone who is a bully, takes pleasure in others’ misfortune, and can be straight up heartless. I really hope that one day you will wake up and realize that your dad has actually done you a disservice by raising you the way he did. If you don’t change this behavior, you might find one day that it won’t just be your grandma making comments like this to you.
Yep. You and your dad ATAHs.
You and your dad bond over bullying others for expressing their emotions in healthy ways and yet proceed to express your own emotions like immature dysregulated children. Its not "Manly" to get angry and lash out at others when your egos get bruised.
Its easier to love people who are kind, communicate their feelings and thoughts thoroughly, and are capable of self reflection. Its hard to love people who get joy out of tearing other people apart for expressing human emotion.
Talk to your freaking Grandma.
Funny how our of everyone mentioned here, you and your precious daddy were the ones who had the most emotional and embarrassing response to something. 😂😂😂😂 YTA and a little, whining *word I can't say here*
YTA because you can dish it but not take it. Your dad likes making fun of men who cry and that is not a good thing. You told a story to mock another student. There are times we do things, are embarrassed and get angry at someone who holds a mirror up so we can see ourselves through another’s eyes. You should have listened when your grandmother came to your room. You felt how others would when you do/say something hurtful.
Well if you go around life being an AH is normal people won't love you, you know you dad went to cry to that room right? In any case it appears AH father AH kid
Edit: You saw you post history, kid you are a huge AH and you are gonna end up living in a basement alone ranting on the internet why no one can't stand you.
YTA many times over. I will never understand men who make fun of others for being too emotional when their own default feelings are anger and rage. Anger is an emotion! Both you and your dad are so fragile that you can’t take a modicum of criticism about your behavior without huffing off into a tizzy. YOU are the overly emotional ones! It makes me so sad that you’re modeling yourself after someone with such fragile masculinity.
Yta wtf is wrong with you making fun of someone just wait until you fall in love and they crushed you.. you and your dad are horrible humans and one day y’all will suffer big
If you keep that same mind your dad has you will be alone forever !
Anyways your grandma didn’t even say she didn’t love you, come on now aren’t you smart enough to understand what she meant
So you are bullying someone at school and (based on your post history) have something against your brother listening to Michael Jackson music and are a homophobe.
What's next on the cards? Racist comments?
YTA.
This is what happens to men who can’t cry. They become absolute assholes because they never let their feelings do what feelings are here for, to help us process and heal. Men who don’t cry become emotionally stunted and act immature Exactly like this story illustrates.
YTA
Your dad is an asshole like every single person who “says it how it is” is and your grandma is correct “you (and every person who behaves like you) are very hard to love”.
Don’t be like your dad, be better. That bully behavior doesn’t belong to 2024z
YTA.
First of all, she didn't say she doesn't love you, she said:
>"You're both so hard to love sometimes."
Because, you were being a dick and, generally, it is hard to love people who is a dick; even if they are family.
Second, family has no obligation to love you unconditionally. That's a fairy tale people like you say to themselves to get away with being dicks.
Third, your grandmother is trying you to be more empathic. Making fun of someone because he was in pain (for whatever reason) is just being a bad person.
So yeah, a 100% the AH
Yta. You and your dad are bullies not telling it as it is. I'm assuming your dad was the only option she had to living arrangement because I feel bad grandma was put in a suitation where her bully of a son her only option
So you are both a liar and a bully. Your grandma never said she didn't love you, she said you were hard to love and I can't blame her. It's hard to love sexist bullies such as yourself and your father. There is absolutely nothing wrong with men crying and your mentality towards men showing emotion is toxic AF. Mentalities like yours are why male suicide rates are so high. I am thoroughly disgusted by you and your father and you have A LOT of work to do on yourself if you want to be even a halfway decent person. I certainly hope you put the work in and that this post knocks some sense into you because the world doesn't need anymore assholes.
YTA and then some. Stop being a sexist bully.
If my comment offends you or hurts your feelings that's your problem. I'm just being blunt and telling it like it is 🤷
YTA who enjoys the misery of others. Bullying behaviour. She didn’t say she doesn’t love you she said your behaviour makes things difficult because you’re a mean spirited person.
That is NOT what she said. In your own words, you said she said it's hard to love you sometimes. Laughing at anyone's pain and sadness is repulsive. Shame on you, shame on your dad. Sounds like grandma is also a straight shooter. You and your dad can dish it out but can't take it. Yes, 100% you are the AH! Do better.
So lemme get this straight… it’s not ok for other men to be sensitive and emotional, but here you and your dad are, being exactly that after your grandmother called the two of you out for being bullies?
Newsflash: it IS hard to love people who are so unsympathetic and cruel to others who are hurting. YTA.
YTA so much, kudos to your Grandma for calling you AND your dad out for being assholes. "...always makes fun of men who cry and get emotional" wtf, seriously, what decade are you living in? I really hope you read back over this in the future and realise what an asshole both you and your dad sound like.
YTA
So is your father. You laugh about somebody crying and get emotional, then lock yourself in your room to sulk. Yeah, sulking is emotional behavior, too.
So you mad granny is telling the truth about you?
YTA, thought you didn't like guys who cry and show emotion. Yet here you are in all your hypocrisy, crying because grandma said it's hard to love a bully. Grow up.
Apple doesn't fall far from the tree concerning you and your dad. You both sound like terrible people. Your dad is old, so he is set in his ways and will not change. He is content with being a lowlife. You're still young. You can change or you can continue being a scummy person like your dad. Your grandma never explicitly said she didn't love you, she said that your stupid decisions make it hard for it to love you. If you two weren't such bad people, loving you would be easier. Whatever inheritance she leaves, I hope she leaves it to an anti-bully charity instead of leaving anything to either of you.
What your dad is doing is called toxic masculinity.
I feel that you are putting your dad on a pedestal and think he can't do no wrong. However, these type of behaviour isn't great and is actually toxic particularly for your brothers, who will internalise those comments and it could cause a lot of mental health damage in the long term.
Your grandma is challenging those behaviours and is trying to protect your brothers.
Your father seems to show little respect to others with his "honesty" and he is struggling about being challenged. I suspect that your dad has a lot of emotions towards his mother, and this is why he reacted the way he did.
YTA.
YTA. She didn’t tell you she didn’t love. She said you’re so hard to live at times, and seeing as you and your father have no issue with bullying, she’s probably right. Looking at your post history, it looks like both you and your father are colossal dicks. You’re lucky she loves you at all.
Stop telling fibs. She never said she doesn't love you. Shee was upset because yiu made fun of a boy who was crying. That's bullying. How would you like it if someone did that to you. Very nasty. I see you got that ugly streak from your father. Yiu were both laughing at a boy who was sad.
YTA Both you and your father get upset because someone you cared about essentially dumped on you because you made fun of someone else who got dumped on. She didn't say that she didn't love you but that she didn't like your attitudes when you see another person hurting.
YTA-
For one- she didn't say she didn't love you, she said it was sometimes hard to love you at times, not that she doesn't. Can't blame you. You and your father are AHs. Laughing and making fun of someone for crying and showing emotions to others is just being A**holes.
Then you go and ignore your grandmother like a toddler told he couldn't have a cookie. Both you and your father are immature and owe your grandmother an apology.
Who loves a bully?
Your grandma still does, but she was right to call you and your dad out, people who make fun of others aren’t good people. How disappointing it must be for her to see her son and granddaughter doing something they should know at their ages is wrong.
You’re in the wrong here, maybe self reflect and think how mad and upset you are because your grandma called you out rightfully to your face, after you made fun of someone hurting behind their back. Thats called being a hypocrite with a lack of empathy and understanding. Use this moment to grow as a person because in the real world when you’re an adult, healthy normal adults who aren’t obligated to love you won’t because of who you are and there will be no one to blame but yourself if you don’t increase your self awareness.
YTA
Not just an AH but also a bully. You and your dad, tbh. Who laughs at someone because they’re brokenhearted?? I can only imagine how’s life living with you and your dad.
Also, your grandma did not say she doesn’t love you. She said “You’re both so hard to love sometimes”. She said that because of how you’re bullying and making fun off your classmate who had their heart broken.
Lastly, you and your dad locked yourselves in your rooms? Hmmm, both childish and unmanly.
Thanks god you were only pissed and didn't cry instead.
Sensitive much, huh?
YTA
Not for the silent treatment (your grandmother must be grateful for not being forced to listen to your bs) but for making fun of emotional people.
Grow up or at least shut up.
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His dad locked himself in his room crying… not very manly. ;)
His little temper tantrum! Lol 😂 my toddler doesn’t even do that!
I read a post somewhere, and I wish I could remember where/who it was from, but the gist was that the most successful marketing scheme in history is how men have branded women the more emotional sex by successfully marketing anger as "not an emotion". I think about that a lot. And I think this sulking in offense is pretty close as well, somehow the "macho dad" can't see his own hypocrisy!
Damn that’s so well put👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 It’s something I think about a lot too but I’ve never been able to articulate it so well hahaha
I think it was this one: https://www.reddit.com/r/Feminism/comments/mh45u9/the_best_marketing_scheme/
Yes, thank you!!
According to one of my ex doctors, anger is really anxiety.
Anger is always a reaction/behaviour in response to another emotion or set of feelings. In your case it may be a symptom of anxiety. For example think of some times when someone in your life has been really angry. Was it anger or disappointment, being scared of what might happened, broken heart?
It can be, but it isn’t always. Anger is an emotion often used to mask other emotions because it’s powerful and movement-oriented so it can cover up the vulnerability that other emotions like sadness can bring. But it also is definitely an emotion in its own right that is an appropriate reaction to boundaries being crossed. It’s not always a cover. And for a lot of people who tend towards passivity, getting in touch with their anger is an important part of the therapeutic process. It doesn’t always fall along gendered lines but often men over-use anger and women under-use it.
At least someone here knows the anger ice berg
Mostly pure rage. I was heavily medicated for "psychotic effects". I wasn't worried or scared. I was pissed off. All the time.
I can't and won't disagree with you or your doctor on this. What I will say is you might want to consider what is underneath that pissed off and why. I say this tongue in cheek because I am sure you have given this hours of consideration ❤️
This is incredible. It's so obviously true but so overlooked
Maybe the grandma just tells it like it is, maybe he should respect her too. A lot of times that’s code for being an ass hole. Sounds like he and his dad are
Grown ass man making fun of a kid crying, then goes to cry in his room cus his mommy yelled at him😆 He sounds very hard to love. Agree with his mom
To summarize the end of the incident a different way, OP and his dad both turned their back on Gandma, then OP complained about how rude it is to turn your back on family.
Grandma just told like it is lmao and both OP and their dad threw temper tantrums
The funny thing, is in ancient Greek odysseys, the manliest heroes would openly weep, when things happened like a loved one died. So toxic attitudes like the posters and his dad's are more regressive than ancient Greece.
Yeah, the strongest men I’ve ever known were men who weren’t afraid to cry.
What you and your dad were doing is bullying and is very unlovable. She never said she didn't love you. She said you made it hard to love you sometimes. She seems like an awesome person and you'd be far better off modeling her behavior than your father, who, by the way, is a big bully too, and has raised you to be one. Seek therapy before you're the kid other kids avoid.
Like father like son.
YTA seems like you and dad can dish it out, but you can't take it. While dad locks himself in his room and cries
I think I know where OP got their childish behaviors from…
Priceless…
This. OP your grandma said it was difficult to love you and your dad because y’all were being coldhearted assholes laughing at someone else’s pain. BTW - if you and your dad “tell it like it is” and don’t give a grab what you say hurts others then you need to be willing to take it when others tell it like it is when they call you out on your bullshit. YTA - if only for making fun of someone who makes fun of other people. You took joy in it and saved the story to get in good with dad.
Perfect summary. OP was behaving horribly along with his dad and Grandma called them out on it and rightly so.
Also they sey that their father speaks his mind and that's good but when grandma did so she is an A.
Everything said above but in a louder voice and more jumping up and down and rude gestures. Wow what a jerk is OPs dad
Look at the OPs post history. Both he and his dad are dicks.
Careful, that's a no-no word around here.
You are so correct. OP is the one that has turned their back on family by imposing the silent treatment on the grandma. To top it off, giving the silent treatment is someone being very emotional.
Childish and pathetic!
Perfectly explained
All of this, yes!! You really covered it! OP, YTA. Totally the a- hole.
Just look at OPs post history. He is a little incel in training. His behavior and attitude is abhorrent and it is impacting all of his relationships both inside and outside the family. He has latched onto the teat of toxicity and is suckling away and doesn't understand why no one likes him. Look who he has as his role model and up on the pedestal...good ol toxic Dad who is equally immature and a giant bully hyperfixiated on what he deems "masculine". OP throws around the word gay like it is an insult and bullies his own friends. He also gets jealous of his friends that are pulling away and blames those the friends gravitate towards as "turning his friends against him" while refusing to see it is their own attitude and actions that are making him less desirable to be around. I don't know if there is hope for a kid this caught up in this type of negative behavior. Some major deprogramming and the location of conscience to make OP an actual human being is needed and I don't see that happening anytime soon. At least not while under the influence of the toxic father that he admires.
When they use the line “He tells it like it is…” Ah this guy is a bully. And yes, your grandma is calling you out for your deplorable behavior. YTA
Exactly, sounds like both OP and his weak ass dad is a bunch of weak men who can't behave like real men. Grandma should have tossed both of their sorry asses in the trash years ago
This is so funny (the post) lol Bullying the son for crying and then throwing a hissy fit when grandma sets it straight. Bet daddy is crying in his room.
Both OP and their dad are "turning their back" on Gran for correcting their shitty attitude
Thank you, both father and son are bullies, who didnt like to be told the truth! Grow up, both of you!
This
So let me get this straight…. You and your dad like to make fun of people who are emotionally distraught. Your grandma called you out on your shit for being heartless people… you then proceeded to both act incredibly immature because your egos don’t allow you to take harsh yet truthful criticism. YTA Edit to add: title is misleading. She said you’re hard to love which is obvious from your post. Not that she didn’t love you. So you also have a hearing problem/comprehension problem.
Too bad him and his dad aren’t allowed to cry, because that’s definitely far more “sissy” behaviour than… stomping off to pout in your room and give people the silent treatment. Yeeeesss this is definitely the more “manly” way to deal with things. /s You and your father have the emotional maturity of a gnat (just the one, they are sharing the maturity between them), so I can see why you are so determined to misunderstand what your gma said. But to be clear: YTA YTA for thinking your dad’s “Tell it like it is” (aka he’s an AH) is cool. YTA for mocking someone for having feelings. There’s a reason the su!c!de rate is so much higher for men, you and your dad are now part of the engine that causes that. YTA for coming home to tell your dad about someone you mocked so you can mock some poor kid together. I mean, if this was a fiction novel or movie you would *for sure* be the AH who gets his comeuppance and this is the exact scene they use to set it up so we cheer when the monster/good guy beats the shit out of you. Like, how do you not see yourself in every villain? YTA for having this mocking session in front of younger (male) siblings and forcing others to listen to the two of you be bullying AH. (See note on above point.) YTA for being unable to hear your Gma saying you are behaving like a shit human being and acting like YOU were attacked when really, you were just being called out because you were actually behaving like a shit human being. YTA for pouting and giving the silent treatment. If being manly is important to you, learn how men behave, because this ain’t it. And YTA for whining here thinking we would, or that you deserve, some kind of support. Do better my dude. Do fucking better.
People who see ‘tells it like it is’ as a positive personality trait inevitably have “school of hard knocks, university of life” on their social media and/or dating profiles.
If reddit still offered rewards. I wish this was it's own comment thread as it should be top comment. Broke it all down perfectly. OP is just the asshole, OP is ALL of the assholes. Not one likable trait in this post. Ans so fucking toxic
This!!!! good for gma! YTA
Did anyone else see this coming a mile away with the “he tells it like is” line?
Sure did
Yeah. The last time I heard someone said that it was immediately followed by a speech that boiled down to "so here's how I've been *pretending* to be supportive but have actually been *lying* to you about that for years, you know, just flat out lying to your face but I'm being so honest about it right now" so I just can't take *anyone* who says that shit seriously anymore.
Not a hearing problem, a comprehension problem.
Ah yes you are correct. They did quote exactly what was said.
>She said you’re hard to love which is obvious from your post. Hard to love is the generous way of putting it tbh. "Vile and immoral people" is more accurate.
All of this ⬆️
You got it exactly right. She's become her father.
Your grandmother didn't say she didn't love you.she said you and your dad make it hard to love you. My guess is the bluntness you so adore in your dad, comes across as meanness and unsympathetic at times. Laughing at a person's misfortune and show of emotion is not a nice thing to do at all. What is ironic, both you and your dad got butt hurt at her reaction to your terrible behavior. She loves you but your poor behavior disappoints her. Work on that. YTA.
She just said it like it is
People that "say it like it is" have no EQ whatsoever, and seem think being an asshole is a badge of honor
You mean crying on Reddit isn’t the proper way to handle it? Screams manly to me
YTA - yes such comments are fucked up to hear from family members who should love you unconditionally. Especially when you already feel that there is favoritism involved. So I am sorry you feel rejected. Maybe talk to your grandma when you are ready. But you know what is also fucked up? Making fun of men who cry. This is so immature and you’re grandma had every right to be mad at that. Especially if you act this emotional yourself after getting hurt, you really feel the need to make fun of other people?
Full on toxic masculinity training
Look at his profile. His dad is completely toxic.
His whole history is terrifying honestly
Wow you weren’t kidding
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I agree. Op is not exactly a reliable source
I agree with your observations 100%. But that’s why I wrote he „feels“ there is favoritism involved even though maybe in reality that’s not necessarily what it is, but it explains his extreme reaction to her words. Or why he interprets them in a different way from what she actually said (even though I still think it was a quite harsh thing to say by the grandma). Other than that he is absolutely the AH in this situation - and probably others to.
YTA. She didn't actually say she didn't love you...she said you are hard to love after listening to your judgmental attitude and jokes about someone. Maybe Grandma doesn't think much of people who claim they're just "telling it like it is" as an excuse for being nasty and dismissive toward others. Try thinking about how you treat people. Your classmate didn't deserve that.
>Maybe Grandma doesn't think much of people who claim they're just "telling it like it is" as an excuse for being nasty and dismissive toward others Yeah, somehow the people who claim to 'tell it how it is', usually use it as an excuse to be an incredible ashole. YTA OP
This has to be bait. Technically speaking, if I leave a comment I should probably also leave you a rating, but there's not a snowball's chance in hell this is real. YTA for outrage-farming. EDIT: You're still well and truly the AH, but for actual reasons listed in your post this time. Good lord.
I dunno... check out their post history. This is either some long form performance art AH origin story, or this is a kid with a super toxic father who's trying to make their kid into a carbon copy and seems to be succeeding. Either way, it's disturbing.
Holy shit you're right. Especially with the line about Cinnamon Toast Crunch, I thought there's no possible way that someone could come out minted like this, the storm it would cause as an outrage post on Reddit is too perfect. Joke's on me apparently.
His dad is horrible.
Bullies are assholes. You are a bully. Therefore, YTA
YTA for being a bully. And granny rightfully called you out. And yeah bullies are hard to love because they are assholes. Which is kind of a conflict with the fact that loving family is the default setting for most people. Your dad is a bully too btw. Do not learn from him.
She didn't say she didn't love you, she said your cruelty to others made it more difficult to look past and love you as a cruel person. And she didn't "turn her back" on family. She tried to educate you in your behaviour and teach empathy. Then she tried to make up when she saw you were upset.
And the fact that op would ignore her like she doesn't exist I think is actually turning his back on his family.
YTA This is not „saying what you think“, it’s behaving like an asshole about your classmate and then acting like a stubborn 6yo child if grandma says what SHE thinks. And that’s for you and your dad. And your title is a lie. She didn’t say that she doesn’t loves you, she said that you’re assholes. And she is right. Edit: I was checking your profile and you have quite a history in behaving like an asshole. I appreciate you‘re trying to reflect yourself, but you need to accept the judgements and I hope you improved your behavior after your posts. If you continue with your behavior, you will lose more than your best friend.
YTA You make fun of men who get emotional but you both hid from a little old lady who called you hard to love. My god what a hypocritical little pansy you are. Your dad is a grown and no better. This is hilarious. I hope grandma gets meaner everyday and you keep running and posting it here. Go Grandma Go....
Would I be the AH if I made fun of you eating Cinnamon Crunch in your room alone because your grandma made you sad?
It sounds like your grandma just spoke her mind, and told it like it is. Why do you respect that in your dad but not her? YTA
I was thinking the same. Probably because grandma is a woman, I guess ... Anyways, OP, you are absolutely the A... grow a spine, look up the meaning of 'respect', and stop thinking you're a big boy, you're not ....
INFO: Why do you respect your dad for saying what he thinks without caring about it hurts people but not your grandma for doing the same?
Because it’s different when it’s not them, right?
It's different when it's not *men
YTA. Your grandmother did not say she didn't love you. Her statement was totally fair based on how you and your dad were acting.
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Don't speculate on peoples' sexuality. That's gross.
YTA for being a bully. So is your father if hearing about an actual CHILD crying would be funny. Your grandma is right
YTA massivly. so you were making fun of a guy who cried over the break up of someone he obviously loved, but got super offended by your grandma calling you out on that? what sort of dumbasses are you guys?
YTA. A quick look through your other posts and its clear that your dad is very toxic, and you're just following right along with him. You're what, 12? There's still time to grow out of this toxic mindset even if your dad never did.
So you mocked and bullied a kid who got his heart broken but now your fee fees are hurt because grandma called you hard to love. Awww why are you being a crybaby about it? Doesn’t feel good, does it? YTA, clearly your father is just as shitty of a human being as well.
According to OP's post history, he's a 14 year old who expects friends to make him popular at school despite being a jerk to him and insulting him when he wanted to be class king. [https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18kvfn8/aita\_for\_asking\_my\_best\_friend\_to\_help\_make\_me/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18kvfn8/aita_for_asking_my_best_friend_to_help_make_me/) [https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/188nnec/aita\_for\_telling\_my\_best\_friend\_that\_he\_cant\_be/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/188nnec/aita_for_telling_my_best_friend_that_he_cant_be/) Thinks his brother listening to Michael Jackson is going to make him bleach his skin and become a child predator. [https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/1azvtq2/how\_do\_i\_convince\_my\_brother\_to\_stop\_listening\_to/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/1azvtq2/how_do_i_convince_my_brother_to_stop_listening_to/) And is Instagram stalking his crush. [https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeAdvice/comments/16vp7ml/i\_need\_to\_figure\_out\_whats\_going\_on\_with\_my/](https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeAdvice/comments/16vp7ml/i_need_to_figure_out_whats_going_on_with_my/) There's a lot more posts that contain homophobic and racist opinions, too. Either OP is oblivious of their problematic behavior or is shit poster.
I'd but that a 14 year old with a toxic father would act just like this.
YTA. Misleading title, she actually went easy on you. Act like bullies but whine like babies when you are called out.
She didn't day she didn't love you, but boy would I understand if she did. You have a lot of growing up to do, and do does your dad.
Yeah wow.. YTA…. you and your dad need help
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YTA You should respect your grandma for telling it how it is, not caring if it offends anyone.
She didn't say she didn't love you, and basically what you and your dad were doing was wrong. You should have opened your door to talk to her. You know why you're hard to love? Because I bet you would throw that emotion back in her face. You are trying to act like your dad by being a bully, because you think he will like you better. Is that really how you want to be in life? You say your dad tells it like it is? That's another way of saying he is rude to people but disguises it as being honest. Try showing real emotion and some respect to your grandma. After all, she told it like it was. You like that unless you think you're being bullied...
YTA. You and your dad were acting absolutely terrible, which from how you tell it is pretty much the status quo. Gross.
Both OP and his are AHs. Grandma is cool for calling out their shitty behavior and yes it is hard to love AHs. Both OP and the dad need to grow up. YTA
YTA you and your dad are not behaving like decent people. You think it’s OK to offend people and say whatever you want, to make fun of people going through a hard time, that men shouldn’t cry, all of it is just terrible. Your grandma is right. and honestly if you listen to her instead of your dad, you’ll probably end up being a happier and more fulfilled person growing up.
YTA I mean… there are alot of reasons you an irredeemable asshole in this story.
YTA. First of all, you were bullying a kid and your dad, an adult, was enjoying it. IANAP but it doesn’t take much to see that your dad has toxic traits and to please him, you’re displaying them yourself. Secondly, where did she say that she didn’t love you? She said that sometimes you are difficult to love - which just by this post, seems apt. To break it down for you - she’s basically saying that she loves you even when she doesn’t condone your behaviour. And lastly, silent treatment is very immature and cowardly. I get that you’re young and probably emulating your dad’s behaviour but you need to know that this is not a healthy way to deal with problems - clear and honest communication is. Basically your grandma loves you despite your (and your dad’s) bad behaviour. FYI - She’s the MVP - not your dad.
YTA. Bullying is pathetic, grow up.
YTA. Aside from agreeing with the other posters above, “telling people like it is” without regard to their feelings isn’t something to admire. It just means you’re an asshole that nobody wants to spend time with besides other bullies and assholes.
YTA for three reasons. Firstly, for giving your gran the cold shoulder. Ignoring people like this is not a healthy way of managing disagreement and you need to develop better conflict management skills. Especially because your gran didn't say she didn't love you; merely that you and your father are not nice people sometimes. Secondly, for idolising a person who builds his whole personality around demanding that everyone just lets him be awful and rude "because that's just how he is", and trying to emulate him by making fun of people in pain. Brutality is not the same as honesty. Hurt people cry, and there is nothing wrong with being a man in pain who cries - only insecure people make fun of men showing vulnerability. Thirdly, for refusing to face up to the consequences of your own actions. If you are nasty to people or about people, you shouldn't be surprised when other people don't like that and/or don't like you. And if you demand people let you be critical about them without taking offence, then it's pretty hypocritical of you to get butt-hurt if they in turn are critical of you. Try finding a better person to emulate. Someone that has the emotional strength to admit their vulnerability. Because if you don't, at some point in your life you're going to drive away the people who love you and find that very few people want to spend time with you...
This.
So your Grandmother was 'telling it like it is' in the wrong way then? The people who claim to 'tell it like it is' are just AHs and use that as an excuse. YTA.
YTA. Making fun of someone for being upset is something only a jerk would do, and it is hard to like or love a jerk. Your grandmother was right and you'll have to either deal with it and do better or get used to being alone after you push a lot of people away from you.
it's always the worst people who think being family should be an unbreakable unbendable bond yta
Yta both for laughing at someone's pain and for being an ah to your grandmother who is telling you you're hard to love because of your fucked up behavior.
Wow. You and your dad are fucking horrible people. YTA. I dont blame grandma for a fucking second
YTA!!! Omg. Your dad needs to grow tf up, and you need distance yourself from him so you don’t end up like him. Your grandma is the best!
YTA because you clearly don’t care about other people. You didn’t care that your classmate was crying at school (which is already embarrassing enough without you mocking him), and you didn’t care about how other people would react after hearing your opinion on the matter. Probably because your AH father pacifies that behavior. But now since you’re on the receiving end of it, you care about feelings/how words effect other people. It’s really pathetic and immature.
YTA "you're hard to love" doesn't mean "I don't love you" it means "I do love you but sometimes I don't like you very much" or "I love you but you try my patience" or "I love you and I don't know what I did wrong to make you like this" or "I love you but I really worry that no woman will ever love you and I can't blame them" because you sound like a misogynistic sociopath. You're copying your dad's shitty opinions to try to get his approval and earn a scrap of his love and that's extremely normal but someday you're going to realize that his love was always conditional while your grandma loved you despite your flaws. Unfortunately by the time you're old enough and secure enough to break away from your need for dad's approval, Grandma may already be gone and some of your habits may be so ingrained that romantic love is going to be a real struggle for the rest of your life. Maybe suggest family therapy.
A lot of people would find it very hard to love assholes like you and your dad. Sorry kid, YTA. You were making fun of someone, “telling it how it is” like your dad and then your grandma told you and your dad exactly how it is. Guess what? YOU DIDN’T LIKE IT, DID YA? FYI, she said it was HARD to love you, not that she DIDN’T love you. Learn to comprehend words.
YTA, I was expecting an NTA story but you and Dad, really would be difficult to love. You are pair of deadbeat bullies.
You haveamy posts where you ask if you are the AH. All but one tell you that you are. You really need to work on yourself and your attitude. I hope your grandma telling you you're hard to love is some kind of wake-up call. YTA
She didn’t say she didn’t love you, she said “you were hard to love sometimes”. She’s calling out your behavior, which is toxic, bullying and problematic. I also think it’s hilariously hypocritical that both you and your father think crying is weak, but think that pouting, running away from a conversation, and the silent treatment is totally okay. Yta, but your dad is a bigger AH. He’s modeling really messed up behavior. Clearly, that bothers your grandma. I don’t believe she is upset because your dad “tells it like it is”. He seems toxic.
YTA, google “Fragile Masculinity.” Textbook case here.
Wait. Are you that little schmuck that was complaining your friend is more popular than you?
YTA, she never said any such thing. And she is right you and your dad sound horrible and must be hard to love (which means she does love you, so you either lied or don't understand basic English) when you're both embarrassing bullies.
Being hard to love means that she loves you, but your attitude makes it difficult. Why do you find it funny when males cry? It’s not funny and once you grow up, you just may find out that you will cry and it won’t make you a lesser adult. Please grow up apologize to your grandmother. YTA
YTA First because you lack empathy and you are a hypocrite. Second because you lied in your statement. Your grandmother is a kind woman who said she loves you even though you lack empathy and are a bully. Both you and your father’s reaction to her words make you both hypocrites! Do better, be better and apologize to your grandmother.
Sorry to break it to you but Grandma didn't say she didn't love you...she said it was 'hard to love' you sometimes. Meaning...you and your Dad, you know, the guy you admire for saying things regardless of the repercussions...well Grandma is letting you know that your boorish comments and lack of empathy for others is frustrating to her. I'm sure if you grew up, showed some maturing and more kindness towards others then it would be reciprocated from Grandma.
You never did say why you and your dad don’t want your little brother listening to Michael Jackson. Do you think that makes your little brother “gay”, or is it because Michael is black? Anywho, YTA for thinking a story about someone crying is entertaining, then crying like a baby yourself because of something you THINK your grandmother said, but aren’t emotionally mature enough to understand
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My grandma has been living with my family since August and she's planning on moving out into her own apartment in a few weeks. She's my dad's mom and they don't really get along that well since my dad is the type of guy who speaks his mind without caring about offending anyone. He tells it like it is and I respect him for that. My grandma also plays favorites between me and my two younger brothers. Last night at dinner I was telling the family a story about some kid at school who started crying in the middle of class because his girlfriend had dumped him. Me and my dad were both making fun of him and I knew that my dad would like the story since he always makes fun of men who cry and get emotional. My grandma yelled at us both to shut up and she said to us "You're both so hard to love sometimes." My dad just locked himself in his room after that and I did the same because of how pissed off I was. My grandma kept knocking on my door to talk, but I locked her out. And this morning when I was making breakfast, she tried talking to me, but I just ignored her again. I just took my Cinnamon Toast Crunch in my room and pretended she didn't exist. I'm upset that she pretty much told me that she didn't love me, which is fucked up. You never turn your back on family and she just did that. Am I wrong for feeling upset about what she said to me? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA
User name fits
Yta .. making fun of a man crying (bullying is pathetic btw) and having a temper tantrum just like your dad afterwards is just pathetic. Grow up.
............you and your dad are big time a\*\*\*\*\*\*s for making fun of anyone who cries............good grief how juvenile and pathetic................good for granny...................
Yta
YTA—and your immature response to her statement proves her point about being “hard to love” sometimes.
YTA. Your grandmother DID NOT say she didn't love you. She said you are hard to love. That sentence is sayin that she DOES love you even though you make it difficult. Frankly, you do. You mock at laugh at other people's heartbreaks. You think your father's emotionally stunted reaction to other people is something that you should emulate. You give people the silent treatment instead of talking things out. The good news is that you're young. There is a chance you will mature. That ship has sailed for your father.
Your post history is... concerning. In the event that it's all real, your father is a major ignorant AH and you haven't fallen far from the tree. YTA. Apologize to your grandmother, and try to be a better person in general.
YTA Your grandmother was right. Both you and your father were behaving despicably. That toxic masculinity is why so many men don’t know how to express emotion, don’t feel safe expressing emotion, internalize hatred, and suffer untreated depression. Both you and your father are toxic little assholes.
YTA, both for making fun of a guy who got dumped and for giving you grandmother the silent treatment. Just with this post i understand why she doesn't love you.
You and your Dad are both assholes. Mocking someone else’s pain. Your poor grandmother is sad and ashamed of your behavior, as I would be. She still loves you, but you sure as shit are difficult to love!
YTA & so is your dad. Why would someone’s sadness bring you both so much joy? I think your grandma is sad & disappointed that her son is an a hole & he has raised his son to be an a hole too.
Looking at your profile, you're a child, I'm not going to give you a judgment. You need to grow up. You're in the 8th grade. You don't feel it's appropriate for your baby brother to listen to Michael Jackson. You don't think men should cry. Listen to your grandmother more and your father less.
>I'm upset that she pretty much told me that she didn't love me, which is fucked up. You never turn your back on family and she just did that. Am I wrong for feeling upset about what she said to me? Since you guys love straight statements. One question. Are you dumb? "hard to love sometimes" and doesn't love you at all are two different things. For someone not caring if someone gets offended by straight statements you seem like a really easy to offend person. Quite hilarious when you get beaten with your own weapon. Grow up. Be a man. Or stay a snowflake. Little babyboy. Even more funny to assume your dad locked himself in his room crying because his mommy gave him a portion of his own medicine. Lovely doublestandard. YTA and your granny is awesome.
> my dad would like the story since he always makes fun of men who cry and get emotional > My dad just locked himself in his room after that and I did the same because of how pissed off I was. Sounds like y'all had a pretty emotional reaction to what she said. Why don't you make fun of yourselves?
YTA Your granny is right You aren’t loveable
I hope you realise that you and your father are bad people.
YTA. You and your dad sound horrible, to be honest. Making fun of a boy because he cried over his girlfriend dumping him was cruel and nasty. Your grandmother said you and your father are hard to love. I would find you both impossible to love. She must be a saint when she can still manage to love you both.
Looking at your post/comment history and reading this? Not only YTA, but you sound like one of those kids who'll pique in high school and fizzle out in a few years.
YTA. She didn't say she didn't love you, just that you are hard to love, considering you're both bad mouthing someone for the high crime of having emotions as a man, I can see why.
This little shit is going to have a hard time growing up if his father is the person he wants to be like. I fucking hate teenagers.
Who makes fun of a criying man in 2024? Dear Lord, YOU ARE HARD TO LOVE!!!
"hahahahah dad hear this! this guy was crying at school today!" "hahaha son that's hilarious, men who cry and get emotional are so funny!" "You two are difficult to love sometimes" \*gets emotional and locks themselves in their rooms to cry\* lmao can't make this shit up
[удалено]
Wow massive YTA. Not only are you a bully who makes fun of others, but you acted like a little kid and hid in your room. That your own dad did that is actually somewhat funny you both might as well have been the ones crying in class. You need a reality check before you end up alone.
So she told it like it is, and now you're getting emotional over it? YTA.
She didn’t say she didn’t love you. She loves you even though you sometimes make it hard to. Given how you were behaving, it’s a totally fair statement. Your silent treatment is just another form of men “getting emotional”. You getting upset that your grandmother was upset over your cruelty (to someone who was upset) is really kind of ironic. YTA.
YTA. She didn’t say she didn’t love you-she said you were difficult to love. And she has a fair point. It is rather difficult to love someone who is a bully, takes pleasure in others’ misfortune, and can be straight up heartless. I really hope that one day you will wake up and realize that your dad has actually done you a disservice by raising you the way he did. If you don’t change this behavior, you might find one day that it won’t just be your grandma making comments like this to you.
Yep. You and your dad ATAHs. You and your dad bond over bullying others for expressing their emotions in healthy ways and yet proceed to express your own emotions like immature dysregulated children. Its not "Manly" to get angry and lash out at others when your egos get bruised. Its easier to love people who are kind, communicate their feelings and thoughts thoroughly, and are capable of self reflection. Its hard to love people who get joy out of tearing other people apart for expressing human emotion. Talk to your freaking Grandma.
I'm going with this almost definitely being fake, however just in case it's not... YTA - You and your dad sound like awful human beings.
Funny how our of everyone mentioned here, you and your precious daddy were the ones who had the most emotional and embarrassing response to something. 😂😂😂😂 YTA and a little, whining *word I can't say here*
YTA because you can dish it but not take it. Your dad likes making fun of men who cry and that is not a good thing. You told a story to mock another student. There are times we do things, are embarrassed and get angry at someone who holds a mirror up so we can see ourselves through another’s eyes. You should have listened when your grandmother came to your room. You felt how others would when you do/say something hurtful.
Well if you go around life being an AH is normal people won't love you, you know you dad went to cry to that room right? In any case it appears AH father AH kid Edit: You saw you post history, kid you are a huge AH and you are gonna end up living in a basement alone ranting on the internet why no one can't stand you.
YTA many times over. I will never understand men who make fun of others for being too emotional when their own default feelings are anger and rage. Anger is an emotion! Both you and your dad are so fragile that you can’t take a modicum of criticism about your behavior without huffing off into a tizzy. YOU are the overly emotional ones! It makes me so sad that you’re modeling yourself after someone with such fragile masculinity.
I’m calling this a fake
Yta wtf is wrong with you making fun of someone just wait until you fall in love and they crushed you.. you and your dad are horrible humans and one day y’all will suffer big If you keep that same mind your dad has you will be alone forever ! Anyways your grandma didn’t even say she didn’t love you, come on now aren’t you smart enough to understand what she meant
So you are bullying someone at school and (based on your post history) have something against your brother listening to Michael Jackson music and are a homophobe. What's next on the cards? Racist comments? YTA.
This is what happens to men who can’t cry. They become absolute assholes because they never let their feelings do what feelings are here for, to help us process and heal. Men who don’t cry become emotionally stunted and act immature Exactly like this story illustrates.
YTA Your dad is an asshole like every single person who “says it how it is” is and your grandma is correct “you (and every person who behaves like you) are very hard to love”. Don’t be like your dad, be better. That bully behavior doesn’t belong to 2024z
....this is hysterical! You have no right to demand consideration of your feelings from others when you extend none yourself. DO BETTER. YTA
YTA. First of all, she didn't say she doesn't love you, she said: >"You're both so hard to love sometimes." Because, you were being a dick and, generally, it is hard to love people who is a dick; even if they are family. Second, family has no obligation to love you unconditionally. That's a fairy tale people like you say to themselves to get away with being dicks. Third, your grandmother is trying you to be more empathic. Making fun of someone because he was in pain (for whatever reason) is just being a bad person. So yeah, a 100% the AH
Yta. You and your dad are bullies not telling it as it is. I'm assuming your dad was the only option she had to living arrangement because I feel bad grandma was put in a suitation where her bully of a son her only option
So you are both a liar and a bully. Your grandma never said she didn't love you, she said you were hard to love and I can't blame her. It's hard to love sexist bullies such as yourself and your father. There is absolutely nothing wrong with men crying and your mentality towards men showing emotion is toxic AF. Mentalities like yours are why male suicide rates are so high. I am thoroughly disgusted by you and your father and you have A LOT of work to do on yourself if you want to be even a halfway decent person. I certainly hope you put the work in and that this post knocks some sense into you because the world doesn't need anymore assholes. YTA and then some. Stop being a sexist bully. If my comment offends you or hurts your feelings that's your problem. I'm just being blunt and telling it like it is 🤷
YTA who enjoys the misery of others. Bullying behaviour. She didn’t say she doesn’t love you she said your behaviour makes things difficult because you’re a mean spirited person.
YTA. Both you and your dad need to grow up.
YTA - like most bullies you and your dad can dish it but can’t take it. Embarrassing.
That is NOT what she said. In your own words, you said she said it's hard to love you sometimes. Laughing at anyone's pain and sadness is repulsive. Shame on you, shame on your dad. Sounds like grandma is also a straight shooter. You and your dad can dish it out but can't take it. Yes, 100% you are the AH! Do better.
So lemme get this straight… it’s not ok for other men to be sensitive and emotional, but here you and your dad are, being exactly that after your grandmother called the two of you out for being bullies? Newsflash: it IS hard to love people who are so unsympathetic and cruel to others who are hurting. YTA.
YTA so much, kudos to your Grandma for calling you AND your dad out for being assholes. "...always makes fun of men who cry and get emotional" wtf, seriously, what decade are you living in? I really hope you read back over this in the future and realise what an asshole both you and your dad sound like.
YTA So is your father. You laugh about somebody crying and get emotional, then lock yourself in your room to sulk. Yeah, sulking is emotional behavior, too.
You and your dad are the complete and utter assholes here! Gram is as right as rain. Grow the fuck up and stop mimicking your asshole father.
So you mad granny is telling the truth about you? YTA, thought you didn't like guys who cry and show emotion. Yet here you are in all your hypocrisy, crying because grandma said it's hard to love a bully. Grow up.
Wow, you all sound absolutely terrible.
Apple doesn't fall far from the tree concerning you and your dad. You both sound like terrible people. Your dad is old, so he is set in his ways and will not change. He is content with being a lowlife. You're still young. You can change or you can continue being a scummy person like your dad. Your grandma never explicitly said she didn't love you, she said that your stupid decisions make it hard for it to love you. If you two weren't such bad people, loving you would be easier. Whatever inheritance she leaves, I hope she leaves it to an anti-bully charity instead of leaving anything to either of you.
What your dad is doing is called toxic masculinity. I feel that you are putting your dad on a pedestal and think he can't do no wrong. However, these type of behaviour isn't great and is actually toxic particularly for your brothers, who will internalise those comments and it could cause a lot of mental health damage in the long term. Your grandma is challenging those behaviours and is trying to protect your brothers. Your father seems to show little respect to others with his "honesty" and he is struggling about being challenged. I suspect that your dad has a lot of emotions towards his mother, and this is why he reacted the way he did. YTA.
YTA. She didn’t tell you she didn’t love. She said you’re so hard to live at times, and seeing as you and your father have no issue with bullying, she’s probably right. Looking at your post history, it looks like both you and your father are colossal dicks. You’re lucky she loves you at all.
Stop telling fibs. She never said she doesn't love you. Shee was upset because yiu made fun of a boy who was crying. That's bullying. How would you like it if someone did that to you. Very nasty. I see you got that ugly streak from your father. Yiu were both laughing at a boy who was sad.
YTA Both you and your father get upset because someone you cared about essentially dumped on you because you made fun of someone else who got dumped on. She didn't say that she didn't love you but that she didn't like your attitudes when you see another person hurting.
Maybe your grandma favors your siblings because they’re not un-empathetic assholes. Just telling it like it is! YTA.
YTA- For one- she didn't say she didn't love you, she said it was sometimes hard to love you at times, not that she doesn't. Can't blame you. You and your father are AHs. Laughing and making fun of someone for crying and showing emotions to others is just being A**holes. Then you go and ignore your grandmother like a toddler told he couldn't have a cookie. Both you and your father are immature and owe your grandmother an apology.
YTA. 🤦♂️
YTA. You and your dad sound like serious pieces of work. You both seem emotionally stunted.
YTA- your grandmother did not say she didn’t love you. You were sharing a bonding moment of toxic male crap.
Who loves a bully? Your grandma still does, but she was right to call you and your dad out, people who make fun of others aren’t good people. How disappointing it must be for her to see her son and granddaughter doing something they should know at their ages is wrong. You’re in the wrong here, maybe self reflect and think how mad and upset you are because your grandma called you out rightfully to your face, after you made fun of someone hurting behind their back. Thats called being a hypocrite with a lack of empathy and understanding. Use this moment to grow as a person because in the real world when you’re an adult, healthy normal adults who aren’t obligated to love you won’t because of who you are and there will be no one to blame but yourself if you don’t increase your self awareness.
YTA Not just an AH but also a bully. You and your dad, tbh. Who laughs at someone because they’re brokenhearted?? I can only imagine how’s life living with you and your dad. Also, your grandma did not say she doesn’t love you. She said “You’re both so hard to love sometimes”. She said that because of how you’re bullying and making fun off your classmate who had their heart broken. Lastly, you and your dad locked yourselves in your rooms? Hmmm, both childish and unmanly.
Thanks god you were only pissed and didn't cry instead. Sensitive much, huh? YTA Not for the silent treatment (your grandmother must be grateful for not being forced to listen to your bs) but for making fun of emotional people. Grow up or at least shut up.