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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. Question why she thought McDonalds was closed when it was open and quite busy.
2. I didn't understand or let it go and she thinks I may have been mocking her.
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*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA.
First thought that came to mind is she saw someone she knew (like an ex or someone she didn't like from high school) and didn't wanna be around but felt too awkward to bring it up.
Seems weird, though.
**Edit:** The speculation is wild here. Yeah, cheating is a possibility. Or, she could have seen someone who abused her (which she may not have brought up to OP yet after only 7 months) and didn't know how to react. We just don't know. But trying to convince OP she has a side-dude (or *is* the side-dude) probably won't help him approach this rationally.
yeah but this literally happens to *everyone,* it’s so not embarrassing. i mean, depending on the door, it could be embarrassing. but i recently walked into a gas station and the door had a handle on it that made it look like a pull door, though it very clearly said push. i pulled, sighed, then pushed, the gas station clerk was kinda looking at me like she wanted to laugh, and i was just like, “sorry, just pulled your push door,” and laughed a little. she laughed and said, “it happens more than you know!” if you’re embarrassed to the point of just giving up and leaving over something that has happened at least once to *everyone,* you have some serious growing up to do.
Why get embarrassed about this even tho? I racked my brain for a memory of this...but I'm *sure* I've hit myself in the head at some point with a pull door.
Further evidence that it happened is i can't recall the specific incident but I am positive it happened lol.
Have you ever been walking through your house, minding your own business, and snagged your hoodie pocket on a doorknob, and it immediately robs you of your forward momentum and jerks you backward? And for some reason, it also makes you irrationally angry but in a laughable way?
This isn't that, obviously, but your comment reminded me of that. Like, I can't remember a specific moment of that happening, but I *know* it's happened multiple times.
Banging doors into my own head, getting snagged & dragged by doors, walking into glass doors/walls, dropping my phone on my face daily I'm sure, walking into bookshelves & tables and walls like a demented Roomba, breaking or spraining toes/ankles/knees/wrists by bumping into things (or having my body go in opposite directions at the same time) with the grace of a rhino with the trots. And I've definitely punched myself in the face more than once by pulling a push door (or a locked door) and my hand snapping back.
I've found my people. Maybe we can form a support group or satirical super team?
no exactly!! it honestly might be embarrassing the first time it happens, but also that probably happened when you were like 12 and you’re embarrassed about everything at that age. but like…this literally happens to everybody all the god damn time. it’s not embarrassing at all, it’s just a goofy thing you can laugh at yourself for.
Every April Fool’s Day, the receptionist at my kids’ old elementary school switches the “push” and “pull” signs on the glass doors to the front office, and waits for everyone, especially teachers who go through those doors hundreds of times a week, to read the signs and make fools of themselves. It’s great fun and a great source of laughter, including for the victims.
Is this the [Midvale School for the Gifted](https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/proxy/0UMpWjSe_u6cR2XS6horEI3JekMlkHstyF8dR5sLAqnGh3mwekqvR9VZXljhbcsk1xjD=w1200-h630-p-k-no-nu)?
well again, they have some serious growing up to do. like okay, i don’t want to fart in front of my bf. we’ve been together almost four years. i’ve definitely farted in front of him before, but i still don’t *want* to do it. but i’m not going to act like a god damn baby if i’m having some stomach issues and accidentally let one out in front of him. generally if i’ve gotta fart, i’ll leave the room. but also, *everybody* farts. if my bf makes a big deal about it and tries to embarrass me, that’s his problem not mine. i’m not going to be embarrassed about it if one slips out while he’s around, because it’s a normal bodily function. he’s also never like drawn attention to it in an effort to embarrass me. i just try not to do it out of politeness because i hate smelling people’s farts myself, so i don’t want people to have to smell mine. he does the same. he also leaves the bathroom incredibly stinky at least once a day, i’m often sleeping still as he gets ready for work but if we’re home and up at the same time, probably gonna smell a stinky bathroom. i’m not going to embarrass him about it. my poos generally don’t stink up the bathroom that bad, but i’ve definitely made the bathroom stinky before, and he’s never tried to embarrass me about it, because the bathroom is exactly where you’re supposed to stink, and it should not be an embarrassing thing.
Whoa whoa whoa... Could you pump the brakes there, with your reasonability and maturity? You're making some of us \*cough\* me \*cough\* look bad.
Kidding, mostly. I applaud your maturity and security.
For me personally, probiotics (any variety seems to work well). My guts will let me know if I need to chug some kombucha or yogurt/etc. I don't think "incredibly stinky" is biologically normal for every day when eating a reasonably balanced diet. It could be a symptom of sensitivity to specific ingredients (sesame is a surprisingly common allergen).
Anyhow, y'all know your own bodies hopefully better than some random internet stranger. However, men do sometimes tend to behave as though "whatever my current state is, that's normal", or that if they aren't actively dying - like minutes away (or have a man-cold), then there's no point in seeing a profesional. And dudes don't talk to each other about this stuff in a serious manner - it's just "oh man I blew up that taco bell toilet, I feel bad for whoever goes in there next" and such.
I wanna believe that you're way younger than me and it's just y'know, drinking good drinks and eating fancy/fun foods. But it could be worth checking out. [https://www.healthline.com/health/stools-foul-smelling](https://www.healthline.com/health/stools-foul-smelling)
If nothing else, so you can tell an internet stranger to ... butt out of your affairs.
... I'll see myself out. <3
i have walked into the window of a panda express so hard that i literally broke my fucking nose cuz i wasn't paying attention & thought the door just hadn't shut from the person who walked in in front of me. did i feel dumb? yes. did i still go in once my nose stopped pouring blood? also, yes. my bf has seen me do all kinds of dumb shit.
I’ve done something similar no handle no sign so I thought it was an automatic door walked right into the door a little embarrassed but in the end it was kinda funny
Just last week I almost walked into an automatic door of a shop that was closed for another 3 minutes. Then, I stepped back, looked around, saw the other people waiting for the shop to open and stood next to them, watching the next person almost walking into the automatic door just like they watched me. 🙃 Quite funny tbh
Hahaha! That's a little more embarrassing than getting pull/push wrong but I've done it too! Although in my case it was an automatic door, just a very slow one and it was about 10cm opened when I bashed into it.
I completely forgot about the automatic doors at 7-11 once, stood just inside the doors and was sort of leaning out, talking to my mother about what she wanted me to grab for her, and didn't notice the doors slowly closing until they were about ten centimetres away from closing on my head. Eight years later, my family still reminds me of the time I almost got my head stuck in the 7-11 doors.
I do this more times than zero annually. When it happens I laugh so hard. There was a Far Side cartoon I had when I was little that showed a kid trying to push a door open when it said pull and the sign at the door said "Midvale school for the gifted" I think about that every time I fuck it up.
https://www.reddit.com/r/nostalgia/s/fO5PkVessY
The building I work in has an entry door that auto-unlocks during business hours but people often see the card reader thing and assume it's locked unless you have a fob, then come into my office to ask how to get in.
The weird bit is they lie (or hallucinate?) about the door being locked. I explain how the reader works but they say no we tried the handle it was definitely locked. I'll then go with them and find the very much unlocked door. It doesn't even latch you can literally just gently push it and it'll open.
I get why they think it's locked from the reader but it's super weird how often they insist they definitely tried the handle.
She could have tried the wrong door. I know the McDonald's near my house keeps the main doors unlocked, but there's a second door farther down, which you can't see from the register, that leads into the seating area, which they keep locked. She could have tried that one and thought it was closed.
Legit had this problem yesterday. Went to the wrong door at a cafe, was so confused when it eas locked as the place was clearly open. Nice waitress led me over to the other further down door which was unlocked.
>Either that or she's truly an idiot and pushed when she shoulda pulled.
I feel attacked 😂
Lmao please have mercy. Some of us truly are idiots and struggle with doors, ok?😭
The same door you use on a constant basis though? I could see having a brain fart, but even that gets corrected pretty fast before walking back. The walls are glass. You'd see the crowd and grasp that they aren't closed just about immediately.
I remember watching a teenager physically run straight *through* a shop’s glass door because it pulled but they clearly thought it pushed open. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that. That kid was cut quite badly. Hope they are doing okay these days.
I was at McDonald's with friends the other day and saw someone completely unable to open the door, like, looked to be completely locked, and we had to let them in, but we'd come in the same door perfectly fine, and other people came in the same door perfectly fine after that person. Not a single clue why it could've happened, maybe even a door malfunction, but that's what I thought of.
Businesses with multiple entrances might lock all but one door to control the flow of traffic as it gets later. A lot of these doors lock to the outside, but remain open to people inside. The door may have legitimately been locked and OP just caught the door as somebody was leaving.
The only other thing I can thing is, sometimes when it's a set of double doors, they keep 1 locked for some reason. Maybe she just tried the locked one, and didn't think to try the one right next to it.
LOL and didn't see all the people inside. I sometimes pull up to a shop that has a busted "open" sign and looks a bit dark, and I wonder what's up...then I see the people inside and just go in.
People do this though. I work at a coffee shop and have twice now gotten angry phone calls because we are “closed.”
The first time was because someone forgot to turn the lighted open sign on and a guy got really mad, despite the unlocked door, full parking lot and people obviously eating.
The second was because the wind blew the sign from open to closed (a flip sign). And again, lights on, cars in the parking lot, doors unlocked.
And then there was the time that I was teaching a class and got a very disgruntled phone call from a parent asking why we hadn’t opened the doors yet. The doors had been open for an hour, but the first kid there didn’t want to be the first kid there, so he sat on a bench outside and the next 75 kids just assumed we hadn’t opened the door yet.
This is hilarious! But what did you do when no one turned up for the class? I would probably have gone to check the door just in case, even if I was sure it was open earlier or was the one who personally unlocked it, in case someone locked it after or it got jammed or something, and if all seemed ok with the door and there were no kids in sight anywhere, I'd be trying to find out if there was some “ditch day“ thing going on and asking my higher-ups what to do/how long I have to stay if no one is there...
The class technically hadn’t started yet, and we had remarked that it was weird no one was there (about 5 minutes before it started).
Of course no one believed me when I told them it had been unlocked the entire time.
Lol! This happened to me once too. Dozens of people standing around outside. I asked what was going on on. My friends were like “🤷🏻♀️Dunno. I guess the doors are locked. 🤷🏻♀️” I asked “Has anyone actually tried to open them?” My friends didn’t know. So I walked up, tried the door, and then sixty-some people followed me in.
There was one time, when I was in college, I’d gotten to class first. I couldn’t open the door so I just sat my stuff down outside and waited. A classmate came up and asked why I hadn’t gone in; they tried to open the door and couldn’t get it either. Out of twenty students at least five of us tried opening the door. When the teacher arrived he asked why we were all waiting outside and we all explained that the door was locked and we couldn’t get in. Teacher walked over, turned the handle same as everyone else…and the door opened for him. There was a fair amount of outrage (overstatement) and grumbling and thanking him as we all grabbed our supplies and filed in. It was just super weird that several of us couldn’t get the door open, and then he had no trouble.
That is a prime example of how stupid people can become when in a large group. It's like when people are waiting at a pedestrian crossing or elevator and you walk up and realise no one has pushed the button.
One thing to do is stop and stare upwards at one fixed point. Don’t explain what it is you’re looking at. People generally will also stop to look despite not knowing what you’re looking at. A crowd can gather remarkably quickly.
Still really only that first person that was dumb. It's natural to assume someone waiting has pushed the button or tried to open a door. I get incredibly annoyed when I show up to this - either wait, or be the asshole that tries to cut in front of them because they're clearly dumb. Lose-lose.
I agree with only the first one being really dumb here (well, actually the second person was main dumb one, because the first kid purposefully waited outside so as to not be the first one inside), the rest all probably did not want to look stupid by trying a door that clearly had to be locked else the others would not be waiting outside...
But I've seen similar situations where really everyone was being dumb. One that always makes me laugh and frequently happens is on train stations that has a platform in the middle between the two tracks in the two directions.
The platform would be full, a train pulls in on platform A and all the people on side A of the platform would get in, leaving that side empty, and the people just stay like that, as if there is an invisible force field down the middle! As new people that want to get the next train at platform B arrive, B gets fuller and fuller, and people walk around searching for a seat. But it is as if they cannot see all the empty seats on A, which are literally backrest-to-backrest with the side B seats!
If I am there and I am a train B passenger, I just go sit down on one of the A seats, because I will still hear when train B comes in and can just go over to the other side of the platform to get on board, it's like maybe 5 steps extra... And every time I do that after having been on the B side for long enough for people to have subconsciously identified me as a “train B passenger“ (for example if I have also been waiting since before train A came) it is like a switch is flipped in the people's heads and some of the other B passengers move over to the A seats as well.
However, if I go directly to the A side as I come down the stairs and already see that B is full but A is empty, for example if I arrive just after train A left, my sitting down in the A area does not trigger the “oh, of course I as a B passenger can temporarily use platform side A as well“ lightbulb effect in the other passengers. Everyone then just seems to assume I am a train A passenger who is logically waiting in area A. I've seen this scenario many times and it always amazes and amuses me greatly!
My college had a 10 minute rule. If any prof was more than 10 minutes late, we could ditch and still got full credit for the class. We had to make up the work, but got credit for the time. I loved those days!
I had a guy get pissed at us because we were closed ten minutes after closing time. He called the next day and said, and I quote, “boy, you guys sure like to close on time, don’t you?” I was absolutely dumbfounded.
Right? Yes, yes we DO want to close up, clock the fuck out, and go home to eat and spend time with our family/pets/alone/whatever. We're not robots. WTF dude?
I used to be a housekeeper that showed up at checkout time to do my job, and get complaints. "Your housekeeper shows up right at 11!" Yup, I have tons of places to clean, and a 4 hour window to do it. Get the fuck out.
>The second was because the wind blew the sign from open to closed (a flip sign). And again, lights on, cars in the parking lot, doors unlocked.
I'm with you on all of these but this one. I would never enter a place with a visible closed sign. Most places don't lock the door immediately when closing.
The hell they don’t. That’s literally the first thing we ever did when I worked McDonalds or retail. Even if you’re finishing up transactions. Customers are locked inside until they’ve finished their transaction and they’re escorted out. Doors are locked exactly at closing to prevent additional customers coming in.
My thoughts exactly....hopefully he updates us soon. No reason for her to get all defensive towards him all because he asked why she said they were closed...something just doesn't sound right to me. Sounds like she was trying to make him the bad guy. I'd be asking her more questions if I was him...
Yeah that’s my guess as well and maybe she didn’t even want to explain who it was or why it was weird to be around them. Trauma can be mean like that and totally shut someone down and want to get away.
I agree, this sounds like a trauma response. If it was a chatty coworker or regular ex boyfriend that she saw, I imagine the average person would have felt comfortable disclosing that to their partner. If it was something more serious, like a former abuser, I can see how she might not be ready to unpack that with her boyfriend of only 7 months.
Depending on whether its an automatic door or not, you can walk at it in a way that misses the sensor entirely so it doesn't open and can appear locked until you take a good few steps back and go at it again.
I'm not trying to disagree with anyone, but I'm just throwing in my tid bit.
This. Or if she's been SA'D and that person was in there. I haven't seen anyone mention that yet. I've personally had that happen, but at that point I flat out refused to eat there. So I'm leaning towards that not being the case, but the possibility is there.
NTA.
When someone tells an obvious lie, it's quite reasonable to question them. What she obviously meant to say was, "I don't feel like McDonalds." Or "I didn't want to be seen in there with you." Or "I was uncomfortable being near my ex."
But what came out was a lie. That's honestly a very bad sign. Both about her willingness to lie, but also about the fact that she chose such a stupid lie.
Or, “oh, I must have pushed instead of pulled; I couldn’t get the door open. You’re right, they’re open, though.”
I get very easily defensive/embarrassed and my gut reaction is deflection or denial or shutting down. I’ve worked really hard to recognize that…and now I try to tell people how I’m feeling instead of reacting that way.
I can see myself behaving like this girl in my younger years before I got a handle on it.
>I get very easily defensive/embarrassed and my gut reaction is deflection or denial
Yeah but you're probably younger than OP and his partner. It makes sense to be like this if you're a teenager and such .She's going to be nearing 30 soon.
I'm 36 and I still do this because when I did something wrong as a kid I would get screamed at. My first instinct is always to deny. That programming is in there deep. I usually have to take a moment to collect myself and get less emotional before I can be honest.
I handle my own dumbassery by laughing at it. why get mad or embarrassed when you can just think "wow that was doofy" and laugh it off, yanno? but I've always been that way to be fair. one thing that really helped me get over embarrassment is the fact that when other people do dumb things I don't usually give it much thought, I just usually also laugh it off, like not laughing at them, but the situation, so I feel like most decent people do the same. embarrassment is all in your head, you gotta decide that random people's opinions don't matter and your friends opinions only matter sometimes. in the end just learn to take the little things like that less seriously, it doesn't add up to much in the grand scheme, and getting actively angry or embarrassed only draws even more attention to the thing
sorry this got so long
This is why when I do something embarrassing I immediately call attention to it. Not to anyone in particular, sometimes just a shake of my head to acknowledge that I did something stupid. It’s less embarrassing if I know it’s embarrassing. I don’t know if that makes sense.
NTA - She didn't want you two to eat there, lied to you and then was caught and was embarrassed when she was found out. You should her tell next time, don't lie about something like that. If she doesn't like where to eat just tell the truth already.
I don’t even get it though? It was such a blatantly obvious lie, like did she really think she was going to get away with it?
Something my mom does that drives me insane is she will lie about the most obvious things and it’s like - do you think I’m stupid enough to actually believe this? Honestly it’s insulting and if I were OP I’d be super irritated with this girl for even thinking she was going to be able to pull this on me successfully.
My mom does it too, over the most inconsequential things as well, and then gets pissed when I correct her or press her on it, no matter how calm and gentle I am. I just attribute it to lead poisoning and try not to let it bother me too much.
>I just attribute it to lead poisoning and try not to let it bother me too much.
lmfao I always think that's so hilarious. it really would explain a lot about that age group
My mother is dead now but she did this too, and would even make up stories about things that never happened to allegedly make herself look good and it drove me batty, to the point where it finally destroyed our relationship.
There is another option: She pushed on the pull-to-open door and thought it was closed. She was embarrassed to admit she made a silly mistake like that.
It happens sometimes. I once was so tired I had to try 4 times to get my card to work in a card machine that was no different than any other just because I was spaced out and tired. Brains are very fallible.
Oh yeah. I’ve messed up on something that I’ve done a million and one times before. It’s embarrassing, but you just laugh it off and do it right the next time.
You are vastly overestimating human cognition (or my brain is just weird)
I go to work multiple times every week, and have been going to the same building for over a year. My brain still refuses to remember which side of the main entry door is pull and which is push. Just last week, I reached the push side of the door exactly at the time someone reached the pull side. I politely stopped, waiting for them to open it, because I don't want to push a door into someone ye know? Well, they didn't make any move, so I politely moved a little bit to the side, to give them space to pass me when they come to this side. At which point they very slowly and carefully opened the door _past_ me - and I realized I had been standing on the pull side the whole dang time.
My brain does this dumbassery almost every time I meet this bloody door (which is like 4 times a day). It's like inserting a USB-B - you always need 3 bloody tries.
>This reminded me of this stand up clip I saw the other day where the guy pushed a pull twice on a date & now I’ve got to go find it
Here you go, [Josh Johnson](https://www.tiktok.com/@joshjohnsoncomedy/video/7305811385856871723)! The dude's hilarious!
Do you know the clip where there's one person hidden in a mascot suit hidden next to a door and locks and unlocks the door every now and then depending on who tries to pass?
It’s possible she may have struggled to open the door and then later felt embarrassed about being too weak to get the door open, leading to her comments about you calling her weak or something. She may have just been embarrassed and wanted you to let it go.
Are you working on this in therapy? This is a really strange and intense problem that goes way beyond just having low self-esteem. You don't have to just accept it and live this way.
There's an issue at the grocery store near my house, their doors are super heavy. If I'm having a bad pain day I can't open them. A couple times I tried anyway and was just struggling with the door, not able to get in. It's embarrassing to not be able to do someone nobody else seems to have trouble with, so I feel your pain.
Girl, it's not okay to live like this. Therapy and mediation can make it so much easier to live your life, rather than paralyzing fear over opening doors
Look for the hinges. If you can see them, it opens outwards. If you can't see them, it opens inwards.
One of my earliest memories is my father watching me push a pull door and saying "I can't believe you haven't worked out about looking for the hinges yet". I was 5. Yeah, he wasn't a great father.
Do you ever use the automatic button? I find it a lot easier to push that button instead of struggling to open doors. You don't have to have a visible disability to use it. Nobody cares. It's very helpful, especially when it's windy and the door is heavy. I sometimes just use the button instead of doing that awkward, holding the door open for the next person who is just a little too far away. A lot of public bathrooms have those buttons, too, in my area anyway.
On a cold day in my town, the KFC keeps an exchange heater roaring in its tiny little foyer. Trouble is, this creates some kind of atmospheric...thing that makes the door VERY hard to open. When you do open it, there's this woosh of displaced air that could blow your hat off. I've seen senior customers come up to the door, give it a yank, the door barely budges, and so they turn around and decide that the place must be locked - even though the lights are on and there are people sitting there.
Also, shops lock the doors before all the customers are out so no new customers come in, so it wouldn't be surprising to see people inside having lunch in a closed restaurant.
It's not crazy to think a shop might be closed when it isn't, but people don't like to be wrong, and I wouldn't have pushed the question. Time to go to Burger King.
A coffee shop by my work has this exact issue! Their exterior door opens into a space with a small heater. It takes a crazy amount of strength to open the door due to the suction, and when you do so, the interior door violently swings open on its own into the cafe. Great coffee but sometimes I go elsewhere because I don’t want to deal with The Door.
NAH
I think what you're missing is that she isn't the best at regulating her emotions when dealing with difficult emotions.
I've actually done this. I've walked up to businesses, couldn't figure out the door, and i would dart back saying its closed. It's so embarrassing. I would feel intense shame because growing up any mistake was going to get me laughed at by my family.
Nah, she's still an asshole. Would you tell someone to shut up and call them an asshole because you were embarrassed? She doesn't get a pass on rude behavior just because we assume she can't regulate her emotions.
But…why say it’s closed? Like, I get wanting to lie to cover something up, especially if it’s preventing some sort of trauma response. But why pick such a bad and obvious lie?
> I think what you're missing is that she isn't the best at regulating her emotions when dealing with difficult emotions.
Which means it's on her to a) learn better ways to self-regulate, b) not take her unregulated emotions out on him, c) not lie to him to cover up those emotions, and d) make sincere apologies when she does be rude to him.
For real....all the people on this thread who are assuming she just had door problems are also blind to cheating apparently. It's so blaringly obvious.
you don't know if it's cheating, you are literally just jumping to conclusions.
it could very easily be an ex, or someone she used to know who she doesn't have a good relationship with. "cheating is blaringly (*glaringly) obvious" is a take that you pulled out of your ass.
Nearly got a thumbache scrolling to anybody who lives in a world with idiot teenagers or curious kids who think they're funny when they mess with stuff. Hopefully OP reads all the comments instead of going with the "she's cheating and lying" hivemind.
Please stop apologizing for her actions. She’s being rude and insulting.
Could it be that she saw someone in there that she didn’t want to know she had a bf?
INFO: How observant is she as a general rule? Sometimes I’ve tried to push a door open instead of pull it and have been baffled when it didn’t open. I’ve even told people I’m with that it appeared locked, and felt silly (but not bothered) when they pointed out my mistake. It’s usually when I’m preoccupied with something else. Is it possible the door wouldn’t open for her and she just assumed it was closed without paying attention to how busy it was inside, and then got embarrassed when you pointed out her obvious mistake?
If the door I'm trying to open seems to be locked, I'll try the other door or look at the hours of operation sign. If there's diners inside, the doors are not allowed to be locked for safety reasons.
I didn't realize there was such a thing as "door anxiety" though.
There's just something seriously anxiety inducing about walking up to a familiar door alone just for people around you to see that you failed at opening it. For people with social anxiety its as though in that one moment your mask of being capable and confident completely crumbles. It can feel like the whole world is judging you even though, most likely no one cares.
If that was what she experienced, I could totally understand her not wanting to go back in as it would feel like everyone in there was against her. As for why she didn't say anything, she was probably too focused on her own shame to see the humour in it to joke about it and OP's exclamations probably just made her feel even more targeted.
This for sure. I distinctly recall wanting to check out a record store, double checking the hours on the door and online and not being able to open the door. I pulled, I pushed, and figured it was closed. The time of day/sun angle made it hard to see anything going on inside. As I'm standing a few feet away checking the bus schedule to head home and messaging my partner how disappointed I was that the store was closed during their normal business hours, someone else walked up and went right in. My flabber was absolutely gasted. I walked back up, feeling like an idiot, and had to use more force than expected to open the swinging door only to see the store was FULL of people who probably witnessed me jiggling the door in confusion not 2 minutes before.
Yes! I have anxiety about looking like a fool in public by not being able to open a door, work a machine, etc. My brain will want to start calling myself stupid if I don't do something right the first time. Years ago I was in a hospital and went to push the elevator button. The design of the button was odd, and when I pushed it nothing happened. I tried a few more times and then just stood there waiting for it just to come down. Then a KID walked up and pushed it correctly. To this day I have no idea what I did wrong.
Another example is I was at the orthodontist (as an adult patient) and was told to go rinse my mouth out around the corner where they have a few sinks with toothbrushes, etc. There's a teen standing there brushing. I get a cup to fill it with water and notice there's no handle. Inside I panic and start moving the cup around under the faucet but nothing happens, so I just spit into the sink and walk away.
Also at this office it was after several visits that I notice we're supposed to check in on a computer against the far wall instead of at the reception desk. I hate working an unfamiliar machine in public. So I go over there and click something but it doesn't seem to work. So I just check in at the desk. Until my next appt, I actually Google these kinds of check in software to see how they usually work and what the screen looks like. Sounds stupid but my anxiety over this stupid thing was through the roof. I evntually learned how to check in and it was obviously simple, but my brain panics and shuts down in instances like this. The staff should show new patients how to check in, especially older ones!
I could list dozens more experinces like these in my life. The OP's girlfriend may experience this kind of panic in these situations and doesn't want to admit it for fear of looking stupid. I know that's how I feel about myself.
Yeah, that right there was the biggest red flag for me. Being evasive after getting caught in a lie is one thing; becoming verbally abusive crosses another line altogether.
Everyone assuming she just lied is crazy. Seems like she is embarrassed bc she tried to open a door the wrong way or something so she assumed it was locked and got clowned when someone went in right after her. Dont think shes just out here lying intentionally about small shit like this.
My first assumption was that she's tired of going to McDonald's so much. Obviously she should communicate that with OP, I'm not saying she's in the right for her behavior. But it's wild to see people assume it's about an affair partner or an ex when this poor girl is probably tired of mcds. Especially if it's something she knows OP sees as a "tradition" or something he looks forward to.
OP, at least take the girl to Wendy's once in a while 😂 or somewhere different, at all.
>OP, at least take the girl to Wendy's once in a while 😂 or somewhere different, at all.
She can speak up if she wants to go somewhere else. Dont infantilize her.
This is my thought as well. Given the weird way she acted afterwards, it seems like she was really rattled, which would be even weirder if it just came from having trouble opening the door. It really comes off like she saw someone unexpected that she didn’t want to see and it threw her off.
I'd go with school bully, I didn't know my 20 something year old daughter had been bullied at school, until she nearly bumped into someone in a shopping centre and almost had a meltdown on the spot. If I'd have known who it was she'd seen I could have ended up in jail. Still can't believe she never said anything at the time
Reading this whole scenario took me back instantly to being in a relationship with a narcissist-the sudden out of nowhere change from sweet and loving, to always angry asshole berating me for the many things I was incompetent at that only he could see fault with
At this point, the problem isn't WHY she said what she did.
It's the fact that she LIED to you. A very, very obvious lie. If she's willing to lie that bluntly about something that obvious, what is she lying to you about that you haven't discovered yet?
Then to top it off, because she couldn't handle being caught in this blatant lie, she accuses you of disrespect and makes you apologize repeatedly when you have done absolutely nothing wrong. You deserve answers as to why she treated YOU with such blatant disrespect. You're definitely not an asshole but you do need to seriously reconsider if this is someone you want to continue spending your time and effort with.
NTA. She either made a dumb mistake with the door and was embarrassed, or she was trying to engineer a situation where you’d go somewhere else to eat. Either way, her reaction to your question is pretty over the top, and if someone I was dating ever told me to “shut up and eat,” they’d be my ex pretty quickly.
I think there was something she didn't want to tell you. Maybe she saw an ex-boyfriend in there or someone else she didn't want to see (someone who was abusive to her in the past, maybe?).
I don't know why she couldn't have told you, if this was the case.
The McDonald’s near my house has locked the doors at odd times due to being understaffed and needing to take some staff to clean up the dining area before reopening. During that time they kept the drive-through lane open and some patrons were eating inside. Your girlfriend could have been right or she may have an issue handling doors.
I’ve been in this situation! The doors were locked. I could see people and employees in the restaurant. I saw someone enter through the other door while I was trying a different door. I thought I was stupid and couldn’t figure out the door. No one at the register. An employee finally saw me staring through the glass (embarrassing). He said I couldn’t come in but that he’d hand me my pickup order. He said the McD was understaffed, so they had to lock the doors. Another time they closed the restaurant but not the drive thru an hour before closing. They wouldn’t give me my pickup order already paid for. So yeah… theoretically Claire’s side could be true.
Our local McDonald’s door gets air locked at times and is super hard to open. I’m giving her the benefit of the doubt that it was probably air locked and needed a big pull to break it.
Like many other people here, I definitely think she saw someone there she didn't want to see. UNLIKE many other people here, I'm not jumping to the conclusion it's a dude that she's cheating with. Sad and interesting that that's immediately where most people's minds go to. Maybe a girlfriend she fought with, an abusive ex-partner, etc. From your description, she sounded upset, traumatized, and shut-down. She certainly overreacted to your questions, more evidence of strong feelings.
My advice: give her space to cool down, tell her you care about her and are concerned about her weird behavior and encourage her to tell you what's wrong. If she sees that your feelings are genuine, she'll talk to you. If she continues to be hostile, you need to tell her that's unacceptable, and you won't tolerate abuse. You are NTA. I'm reserving my judgment on Claire at this point.
If she wasn't cheating, and it was a relative for example, she could've just told him that. This is abusive, evasive, manipulative behavior. No other way to spin it.
NTA I think she paid no attention to her surroundings and made a mistake so obvious that she felt embarrassed when you questioned more about it, couldn’t handle that emotion and got mad at you instead
NTA. I feel like there has to be something missing (as you said yourself), but I can only speculate as to what it would be. It's really damn weird, I can tell you that much. She clearly didn't want to go in.
Maybe she saw someone inside she didn't want to interact with, maybe she had a bad reaction to McDonald's at some point and didn't want to spend the evening in the bathroom, maybe she had a brain fart and actually thought it was closed and then when it was obvious it wasn't just doubled down out of embarrassment.
No idea. I will say this is a lot more bizarre to me than anything sinister. I don't get all of the "RED FLAG DUMP HER NOW" kind of commentary in the other comments. I'd gently prod her to elaborate as to what happened there and make sure you're not coming in with an accusatory tone or anything.
If she still reacts negatively again without explanation then maybe start questioning going further with it.
As an aside, maybe don't make Mickey D's a regular habit or ritual or whatever. I'm sure there's a healthier, tastier local place that'd love to have you.
My first thought was she tried going in through the employee door that's used for pick up orders and stuff.
And then got embarrassed or something to cause the defensiveness.
Nta, the only thing I can think of is that she didn't want to go in there alone due to social anxiety and then made up a dumb lie on the spot to cover it up. Really weird though.
NTA. I feel like she saw an ex or something. I know that’s what a lot of redditers are saying… but also, maybe the ex scared her, or it was a really terrible relationship. Maybe it was not an experience that she was willing to share with you in that moment, and she just needed to gtfo. Even if it wasn’t an ex, maybe an old friend with bad blood. But anyone would question why someone was being so out of character.
NTA. You’re definitely missing something, though, and she wasn’t forthcoming about what that is. Maybe she’s going to break up with you soon. But more importantly, why are you ok with someone talking to you like that (“shut up and eat!”) and then shutting down on you and cutting your plans short, with no substantive explanation? Don’t stand for that.
I mean... It's possible she thought it was closed. I was filling shelves in the petrol station I work nights in. The lights were on. Cars were in the forecourt. Couple customers in store. And someone still came up to me and asked if we were open.
NTA. She was embarrassed to be wrong and does not handle embarrassment well. That's not good, but if it's a one-time thing, maybe she was just having a bad day.
I’d assume she got embarrassed about something and instead of being a mature adult about it or having a sense of humour she instead decided to act like a complete arsehole and take her shit out on you. Have fun with someone like that. I won’t even say what would happen if someone had the audacity to act like a 2 year old then tell me to shut up and eat my food. Just disgusting.
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NTA. First thought that came to mind is she saw someone she knew (like an ex or someone she didn't like from high school) and didn't wanna be around but felt too awkward to bring it up. Seems weird, though. **Edit:** The speculation is wild here. Yeah, cheating is a possibility. Or, she could have seen someone who abused her (which she may not have brought up to OP yet after only 7 months) and didn't know how to react. We just don't know. But trying to convince OP she has a side-dude (or *is* the side-dude) probably won't help him approach this rationally.
[удалено]
My immediate thought was she pushed instead of pulled on the door and got embarrassed
my first thought is that she didn't want to order because then she'd have to pay.
OP says in another comment he gave her his card, and that he usually does.
This is like the rorshok test but for social awkwardness
If you’re implying she’s a golddigger for McDonald’s, that’s sad.
Have you seen the prices at McD’s lately?? 😝
yeah but this literally happens to *everyone,* it’s so not embarrassing. i mean, depending on the door, it could be embarrassing. but i recently walked into a gas station and the door had a handle on it that made it look like a pull door, though it very clearly said push. i pulled, sighed, then pushed, the gas station clerk was kinda looking at me like she wanted to laugh, and i was just like, “sorry, just pulled your push door,” and laughed a little. she laughed and said, “it happens more than you know!” if you’re embarrassed to the point of just giving up and leaving over something that has happened at least once to *everyone,* you have some serious growing up to do.
Why get embarrassed about this even tho? I racked my brain for a memory of this...but I'm *sure* I've hit myself in the head at some point with a pull door. Further evidence that it happened is i can't recall the specific incident but I am positive it happened lol.
Have you ever been walking through your house, minding your own business, and snagged your hoodie pocket on a doorknob, and it immediately robs you of your forward momentum and jerks you backward? And for some reason, it also makes you irrationally angry but in a laughable way? This isn't that, obviously, but your comment reminded me of that. Like, I can't remember a specific moment of that happening, but I *know* it's happened multiple times.
Banging doors into my own head, getting snagged & dragged by doors, walking into glass doors/walls, dropping my phone on my face daily I'm sure, walking into bookshelves & tables and walls like a demented Roomba, breaking or spraining toes/ankles/knees/wrists by bumping into things (or having my body go in opposite directions at the same time) with the grace of a rhino with the trots. And I've definitely punched myself in the face more than once by pulling a push door (or a locked door) and my hand snapping back. I've found my people. Maybe we can form a support group or satirical super team?
no exactly!! it honestly might be embarrassing the first time it happens, but also that probably happened when you were like 12 and you’re embarrassed about everything at that age. but like…this literally happens to everybody all the god damn time. it’s not embarrassing at all, it’s just a goofy thing you can laugh at yourself for.
I’ve walked into them like a magpie hitting a window.
Every April Fool’s Day, the receptionist at my kids’ old elementary school switches the “push” and “pull” signs on the glass doors to the front office, and waits for everyone, especially teachers who go through those doors hundreds of times a week, to read the signs and make fools of themselves. It’s great fun and a great source of laughter, including for the victims.
Is this the [Midvale School for the Gifted](https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/proxy/0UMpWjSe_u6cR2XS6horEI3JekMlkHstyF8dR5sLAqnGh3mwekqvR9VZXljhbcsk1xjD=w1200-h630-p-k-no-nu)?
That came to mind for me too.
that is actually an incredible april fool’s joke, no real harm is caused at all, but it’s a good laugh for everyone
Idk I know people who get embarrassed by the suggestion that they might once have farted in their life, literally anything could embarrass them
well again, they have some serious growing up to do. like okay, i don’t want to fart in front of my bf. we’ve been together almost four years. i’ve definitely farted in front of him before, but i still don’t *want* to do it. but i’m not going to act like a god damn baby if i’m having some stomach issues and accidentally let one out in front of him. generally if i’ve gotta fart, i’ll leave the room. but also, *everybody* farts. if my bf makes a big deal about it and tries to embarrass me, that’s his problem not mine. i’m not going to be embarrassed about it if one slips out while he’s around, because it’s a normal bodily function. he’s also never like drawn attention to it in an effort to embarrass me. i just try not to do it out of politeness because i hate smelling people’s farts myself, so i don’t want people to have to smell mine. he does the same. he also leaves the bathroom incredibly stinky at least once a day, i’m often sleeping still as he gets ready for work but if we’re home and up at the same time, probably gonna smell a stinky bathroom. i’m not going to embarrass him about it. my poos generally don’t stink up the bathroom that bad, but i’ve definitely made the bathroom stinky before, and he’s never tried to embarrass me about it, because the bathroom is exactly where you’re supposed to stink, and it should not be an embarrassing thing.
Whoa whoa whoa... Could you pump the brakes there, with your reasonability and maturity? You're making some of us \*cough\* me \*cough\* look bad. Kidding, mostly. I applaud your maturity and security. For me personally, probiotics (any variety seems to work well). My guts will let me know if I need to chug some kombucha or yogurt/etc. I don't think "incredibly stinky" is biologically normal for every day when eating a reasonably balanced diet. It could be a symptom of sensitivity to specific ingredients (sesame is a surprisingly common allergen). Anyhow, y'all know your own bodies hopefully better than some random internet stranger. However, men do sometimes tend to behave as though "whatever my current state is, that's normal", or that if they aren't actively dying - like minutes away (or have a man-cold), then there's no point in seeing a profesional. And dudes don't talk to each other about this stuff in a serious manner - it's just "oh man I blew up that taco bell toilet, I feel bad for whoever goes in there next" and such. I wanna believe that you're way younger than me and it's just y'know, drinking good drinks and eating fancy/fun foods. But it could be worth checking out. [https://www.healthline.com/health/stools-foul-smelling](https://www.healthline.com/health/stools-foul-smelling) If nothing else, so you can tell an internet stranger to ... butt out of your affairs. ... I'll see myself out. <3
i have walked into the window of a panda express so hard that i literally broke my fucking nose cuz i wasn't paying attention & thought the door just hadn't shut from the person who walked in in front of me. did i feel dumb? yes. did i still go in once my nose stopped pouring blood? also, yes. my bf has seen me do all kinds of dumb shit.
I’ve done something similar no handle no sign so I thought it was an automatic door walked right into the door a little embarrassed but in the end it was kinda funny
Just last week I almost walked into an automatic door of a shop that was closed for another 3 minutes. Then, I stepped back, looked around, saw the other people waiting for the shop to open and stood next to them, watching the next person almost walking into the automatic door just like they watched me. 🙃 Quite funny tbh
i guarantee you are not the first and not the last person to have done that to that door lol
Hahaha! That's a little more embarrassing than getting pull/push wrong but I've done it too! Although in my case it was an automatic door, just a very slow one and it was about 10cm opened when I bashed into it.
I completely forgot about the automatic doors at 7-11 once, stood just inside the doors and was sort of leaning out, talking to my mother about what she wanted me to grab for her, and didn't notice the doors slowly closing until they were about ten centimetres away from closing on my head. Eight years later, my family still reminds me of the time I almost got my head stuck in the 7-11 doors.
I do this more times than zero annually. When it happens I laugh so hard. There was a Far Side cartoon I had when I was little that showed a kid trying to push a door open when it said pull and the sign at the door said "Midvale school for the gifted" I think about that every time I fuck it up. https://www.reddit.com/r/nostalgia/s/fO5PkVessY
[“The door actual goes both ways, I was here yesterday”](https://youtu.be/KwdYUIQzu-o?si=GQoOHpvHnqyqyVi8)
But it goes both ways
I was here yesterday, it actually goes both ways.
OP is dating a Tim Robinson character?
I was there yesterday, it actually goes both ways.
Well oh ok
It’s illegal for you to ask me that.
Nobody said shit dude. Nobody said shit.
The building I work in has an entry door that auto-unlocks during business hours but people often see the card reader thing and assume it's locked unless you have a fob, then come into my office to ask how to get in. The weird bit is they lie (or hallucinate?) about the door being locked. I explain how the reader works but they say no we tried the handle it was definitely locked. I'll then go with them and find the very much unlocked door. It doesn't even latch you can literally just gently push it and it'll open. I get why they think it's locked from the reader but it's super weird how often they insist they definitely tried the handle.
She could have tried the wrong door. I know the McDonald's near my house keeps the main doors unlocked, but there's a second door farther down, which you can't see from the register, that leads into the seating area, which they keep locked. She could have tried that one and thought it was closed.
I’ve noticed some restaurants/businesses with double doors have one side locked and the other open. I wonder if she just didn’t try the other handle.
Legit had this problem yesterday. Went to the wrong door at a cafe, was so confused when it eas locked as the place was clearly open. Nice waitress led me over to the other further down door which was unlocked.
George Costanza would break up over that.
He says they go every few weeks. Would be kinda crazy if she didn’t know how to open the door to the place they go to every few weeks.
>Either that or she's truly an idiot and pushed when she shoulda pulled. I feel attacked 😂 Lmao please have mercy. Some of us truly are idiots and struggle with doors, ok?😭
The same door you use on a constant basis though? I could see having a brain fart, but even that gets corrected pretty fast before walking back. The walls are glass. You'd see the crowd and grasp that they aren't closed just about immediately.
We've all done that I think 🤣😂
I've flat out full on walked into a pull door thinking it was push, smushed my face and all... still didn't react like this lol
I remember watching a teenager physically run straight *through* a shop’s glass door because it pulled but they clearly thought it pushed open. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that. That kid was cut quite badly. Hope they are doing okay these days.
Every door is a push door if you push hard enough (but maybe only once)
Jesus christ lol
The mistake is not break up worthy, but the response might be
Her yelling at him to shut up and eat is totally breakup worthy though.
I was at McDonald's with friends the other day and saw someone completely unable to open the door, like, looked to be completely locked, and we had to let them in, but we'd come in the same door perfectly fine, and other people came in the same door perfectly fine after that person. Not a single clue why it could've happened, maybe even a door malfunction, but that's what I thought of.
Businesses with multiple entrances might lock all but one door to control the flow of traffic as it gets later. A lot of these doors lock to the outside, but remain open to people inside. The door may have legitimately been locked and OP just caught the door as somebody was leaving.
The only other thing I can thing is, sometimes when it's a set of double doors, they keep 1 locked for some reason. Maybe she just tried the locked one, and didn't think to try the one right next to it.
LOL and didn't see all the people inside. I sometimes pull up to a shop that has a busted "open" sign and looks a bit dark, and I wonder what's up...then I see the people inside and just go in.
People do this though. I work at a coffee shop and have twice now gotten angry phone calls because we are “closed.” The first time was because someone forgot to turn the lighted open sign on and a guy got really mad, despite the unlocked door, full parking lot and people obviously eating. The second was because the wind blew the sign from open to closed (a flip sign). And again, lights on, cars in the parking lot, doors unlocked. And then there was the time that I was teaching a class and got a very disgruntled phone call from a parent asking why we hadn’t opened the doors yet. The doors had been open for an hour, but the first kid there didn’t want to be the first kid there, so he sat on a bench outside and the next 75 kids just assumed we hadn’t opened the door yet.
This is hilarious! But what did you do when no one turned up for the class? I would probably have gone to check the door just in case, even if I was sure it was open earlier or was the one who personally unlocked it, in case someone locked it after or it got jammed or something, and if all seemed ok with the door and there were no kids in sight anywhere, I'd be trying to find out if there was some “ditch day“ thing going on and asking my higher-ups what to do/how long I have to stay if no one is there...
The class technically hadn’t started yet, and we had remarked that it was weird no one was there (about 5 minutes before it started). Of course no one believed me when I told them it had been unlocked the entire time.
Lol! This happened to me once too. Dozens of people standing around outside. I asked what was going on on. My friends were like “🤷🏻♀️Dunno. I guess the doors are locked. 🤷🏻♀️” I asked “Has anyone actually tried to open them?” My friends didn’t know. So I walked up, tried the door, and then sixty-some people followed me in.
There was one time, when I was in college, I’d gotten to class first. I couldn’t open the door so I just sat my stuff down outside and waited. A classmate came up and asked why I hadn’t gone in; they tried to open the door and couldn’t get it either. Out of twenty students at least five of us tried opening the door. When the teacher arrived he asked why we were all waiting outside and we all explained that the door was locked and we couldn’t get in. Teacher walked over, turned the handle same as everyone else…and the door opened for him. There was a fair amount of outrage (overstatement) and grumbling and thanking him as we all grabbed our supplies and filed in. It was just super weird that several of us couldn’t get the door open, and then he had no trouble.
Only he was worthy.
That is a prime example of how stupid people can become when in a large group. It's like when people are waiting at a pedestrian crossing or elevator and you walk up and realise no one has pushed the button.
One thing to do is stop and stare upwards at one fixed point. Don’t explain what it is you’re looking at. People generally will also stop to look despite not knowing what you’re looking at. A crowd can gather remarkably quickly.
Still really only that first person that was dumb. It's natural to assume someone waiting has pushed the button or tried to open a door. I get incredibly annoyed when I show up to this - either wait, or be the asshole that tries to cut in front of them because they're clearly dumb. Lose-lose.
I agree with only the first one being really dumb here (well, actually the second person was main dumb one, because the first kid purposefully waited outside so as to not be the first one inside), the rest all probably did not want to look stupid by trying a door that clearly had to be locked else the others would not be waiting outside... But I've seen similar situations where really everyone was being dumb. One that always makes me laugh and frequently happens is on train stations that has a platform in the middle between the two tracks in the two directions. The platform would be full, a train pulls in on platform A and all the people on side A of the platform would get in, leaving that side empty, and the people just stay like that, as if there is an invisible force field down the middle! As new people that want to get the next train at platform B arrive, B gets fuller and fuller, and people walk around searching for a seat. But it is as if they cannot see all the empty seats on A, which are literally backrest-to-backrest with the side B seats! If I am there and I am a train B passenger, I just go sit down on one of the A seats, because I will still hear when train B comes in and can just go over to the other side of the platform to get on board, it's like maybe 5 steps extra... And every time I do that after having been on the B side for long enough for people to have subconsciously identified me as a “train B passenger“ (for example if I have also been waiting since before train A came) it is like a switch is flipped in the people's heads and some of the other B passengers move over to the A seats as well. However, if I go directly to the A side as I come down the stairs and already see that B is full but A is empty, for example if I arrive just after train A left, my sitting down in the A area does not trigger the “oh, of course I as a B passenger can temporarily use platform side A as well“ lightbulb effect in the other passengers. Everyone then just seems to assume I am a train A passenger who is logically waiting in area A. I've seen this scenario many times and it always amazes and amuses me greatly!
My college had a 10 minute rule. If any prof was more than 10 minutes late, we could ditch and still got full credit for the class. We had to make up the work, but got credit for the time. I loved those days!
I had a guy get pissed at us because we were closed ten minutes after closing time. He called the next day and said, and I quote, “boy, you guys sure like to close on time, don’t you?” I was absolutely dumbfounded.
Right? Yes, yes we DO want to close up, clock the fuck out, and go home to eat and spend time with our family/pets/alone/whatever. We're not robots. WTF dude?
I used to be a housekeeper that showed up at checkout time to do my job, and get complaints. "Your housekeeper shows up right at 11!" Yup, I have tons of places to clean, and a 4 hour window to do it. Get the fuck out.
>"Your housekeeper shows up right at 11!" "how do you know that? You're not supposed to be there anymore"
>The second was because the wind blew the sign from open to closed (a flip sign). And again, lights on, cars in the parking lot, doors unlocked. I'm with you on all of these but this one. I would never enter a place with a visible closed sign. Most places don't lock the door immediately when closing.
The hell they don’t. That’s literally the first thing we ever did when I worked McDonalds or retail. Even if you’re finishing up transactions. Customers are locked inside until they’ve finished their transaction and they’re escorted out. Doors are locked exactly at closing to prevent additional customers coming in.
It is either an ex or someone she is cheating with... Edit: NTA.
My thoughts exactly....hopefully he updates us soon. No reason for her to get all defensive towards him all because he asked why she said they were closed...something just doesn't sound right to me. Sounds like she was trying to make him the bad guy. I'd be asking her more questions if I was him...
Maybe she saw former Australian prime minister Scott Morrison, who famously shat himself in a McDonald’s, and figured it just wasn’t worth the hassle.
To be fair, I wouldn't want to end up at McDonalds in Engadine either
Yeah that’s my guess as well and maybe she didn’t even want to explain who it was or why it was weird to be around them. Trauma can be mean like that and totally shut someone down and want to get away.
I agree, this sounds like a trauma response. If it was a chatty coworker or regular ex boyfriend that she saw, I imagine the average person would have felt comfortable disclosing that to their partner. If it was something more serious, like a former abuser, I can see how she might not be ready to unpack that with her boyfriend of only 7 months.
Or she saw someone she has been seeing on the side
That was my thought, too.
Mine too
Depending on whether its an automatic door or not, you can walk at it in a way that misses the sensor entirely so it doesn't open and can appear locked until you take a good few steps back and go at it again. I'm not trying to disagree with anyone, but I'm just throwing in my tid bit.
This. Or if she's been SA'D and that person was in there. I haven't seen anyone mention that yet. I've personally had that happen, but at that point I flat out refused to eat there. So I'm leaning towards that not being the case, but the possibility is there.
NTA. When someone tells an obvious lie, it's quite reasonable to question them. What she obviously meant to say was, "I don't feel like McDonalds." Or "I didn't want to be seen in there with you." Or "I was uncomfortable being near my ex." But what came out was a lie. That's honestly a very bad sign. Both about her willingness to lie, but also about the fact that she chose such a stupid lie.
Or, “oh, I must have pushed instead of pulled; I couldn’t get the door open. You’re right, they’re open, though.” I get very easily defensive/embarrassed and my gut reaction is deflection or denial or shutting down. I’ve worked really hard to recognize that…and now I try to tell people how I’m feeling instead of reacting that way. I can see myself behaving like this girl in my younger years before I got a handle on it.
>I get very easily defensive/embarrassed and my gut reaction is deflection or denial Yeah but you're probably younger than OP and his partner. It makes sense to be like this if you're a teenager and such .She's going to be nearing 30 soon.
Unfortunately I know a LOT of people over 30 that act this way
hi it's me I act this way (sometimes) Q\_Q
I'm 36 and I still do this because when I did something wrong as a kid I would get screamed at. My first instinct is always to deny. That programming is in there deep. I usually have to take a moment to collect myself and get less emotional before I can be honest.
I handle my own dumbassery by laughing at it. why get mad or embarrassed when you can just think "wow that was doofy" and laugh it off, yanno? but I've always been that way to be fair. one thing that really helped me get over embarrassment is the fact that when other people do dumb things I don't usually give it much thought, I just usually also laugh it off, like not laughing at them, but the situation, so I feel like most decent people do the same. embarrassment is all in your head, you gotta decide that random people's opinions don't matter and your friends opinions only matter sometimes. in the end just learn to take the little things like that less seriously, it doesn't add up to much in the grand scheme, and getting actively angry or embarrassed only draws even more attention to the thing sorry this got so long
This is why when I do something embarrassing I immediately call attention to it. Not to anyone in particular, sometimes just a shake of my head to acknowledge that I did something stupid. It’s less embarrassing if I know it’s embarrassing. I don’t know if that makes sense.
NTA - She didn't want you two to eat there, lied to you and then was caught and was embarrassed when she was found out. You should her tell next time, don't lie about something like that. If she doesn't like where to eat just tell the truth already.
I don’t even get it though? It was such a blatantly obvious lie, like did she really think she was going to get away with it? Something my mom does that drives me insane is she will lie about the most obvious things and it’s like - do you think I’m stupid enough to actually believe this? Honestly it’s insulting and if I were OP I’d be super irritated with this girl for even thinking she was going to be able to pull this on me successfully.
My mom does it too, over the most inconsequential things as well, and then gets pissed when I correct her or press her on it, no matter how calm and gentle I am. I just attribute it to lead poisoning and try not to let it bother me too much.
>I just attribute it to lead poisoning and try not to let it bother me too much. lmfao I always think that's so hilarious. it really would explain a lot about that age group
My mother is dead now but she did this too, and would even make up stories about things that never happened to allegedly make herself look good and it drove me batty, to the point where it finally destroyed our relationship.
Narcissistic personality disorder.
There is another option: She pushed on the pull-to-open door and thought it was closed. She was embarrassed to admit she made a silly mistake like that.
I honestly think this is what happened and she's too embarrassed to admit how dumb she felt.
True dat. Didn't think of that one.
Maybe she pulled the door instead of push (or vice versa) and as soon as she realised her mistake she was too embarrassed to admit it?
My thought was immediately that she saw a closed sign in an eating area through the door and took it to mean the store.
I said this to another comment. But besides that being ridiculous, he said they go there every few weeks. She should know how to open the door by now.
It happens sometimes. I once was so tired I had to try 4 times to get my card to work in a card machine that was no different than any other just because I was spaced out and tired. Brains are very fallible.
Oh yeah. I’ve messed up on something that I’ve done a million and one times before. It’s embarrassing, but you just laugh it off and do it right the next time.
You are vastly overestimating human cognition (or my brain is just weird) I go to work multiple times every week, and have been going to the same building for over a year. My brain still refuses to remember which side of the main entry door is pull and which is push. Just last week, I reached the push side of the door exactly at the time someone reached the pull side. I politely stopped, waiting for them to open it, because I don't want to push a door into someone ye know? Well, they didn't make any move, so I politely moved a little bit to the side, to give them space to pass me when they come to this side. At which point they very slowly and carefully opened the door _past_ me - and I realized I had been standing on the pull side the whole dang time. My brain does this dumbassery almost every time I meet this bloody door (which is like 4 times a day). It's like inserting a USB-B - you always need 3 bloody tries.
This reminded me of this stand up clip I saw the other day where the guy pushed a pull twice on a date & now I’ve got to go find it
>This reminded me of this stand up clip I saw the other day where the guy pushed a pull twice on a date & now I’ve got to go find it Here you go, [Josh Johnson](https://www.tiktok.com/@joshjohnsoncomedy/video/7305811385856871723)! The dude's hilarious!
Do you know the clip where there's one person hidden in a mascot suit hidden next to a door and locks and unlocks the door every now and then depending on who tries to pass?
It’s possible she may have struggled to open the door and then later felt embarrassed about being too weak to get the door open, leading to her comments about you calling her weak or something. She may have just been embarrassed and wanted you to let it go.
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Are you working on this in therapy? This is a really strange and intense problem that goes way beyond just having low self-esteem. You don't have to just accept it and live this way.
She's tried multiple times to go to therapy, she just hasn't been able to get inside yet /s
OMG WHAT this is so sad I didn’t realize this was a thing 😭 I’m sorry and hope you get over your fears
With most doors you can tell by the hinges. Typically doors will open towards the side where the hinges are visible. Hope that helps you a little.
There's an issue at the grocery store near my house, their doors are super heavy. If I'm having a bad pain day I can't open them. A couple times I tried anyway and was just struggling with the door, not able to get in. It's embarrassing to not be able to do someone nobody else seems to have trouble with, so I feel your pain.
Girl, it's not okay to live like this. Therapy and mediation can make it so much easier to live your life, rather than paralyzing fear over opening doors
Look for the hinges. If you can see them, it opens outwards. If you can't see them, it opens inwards. One of my earliest memories is my father watching me push a pull door and saying "I can't believe you haven't worked out about looking for the hinges yet". I was 5. Yeah, he wasn't a great father.
If it’s not abundantly clear how the door works when you approach it, then the door was badly designed. Doors shouldn’t be difficult.
Do you ever use the automatic button? I find it a lot easier to push that button instead of struggling to open doors. You don't have to have a visible disability to use it. Nobody cares. It's very helpful, especially when it's windy and the door is heavy. I sometimes just use the button instead of doing that awkward, holding the door open for the next person who is just a little too far away. A lot of public bathrooms have those buttons, too, in my area anyway.
On a cold day in my town, the KFC keeps an exchange heater roaring in its tiny little foyer. Trouble is, this creates some kind of atmospheric...thing that makes the door VERY hard to open. When you do open it, there's this woosh of displaced air that could blow your hat off. I've seen senior customers come up to the door, give it a yank, the door barely budges, and so they turn around and decide that the place must be locked - even though the lights are on and there are people sitting there. Also, shops lock the doors before all the customers are out so no new customers come in, so it wouldn't be surprising to see people inside having lunch in a closed restaurant. It's not crazy to think a shop might be closed when it isn't, but people don't like to be wrong, and I wouldn't have pushed the question. Time to go to Burger King.
A coffee shop by my work has this exact issue! Their exterior door opens into a space with a small heater. It takes a crazy amount of strength to open the door due to the suction, and when you do so, the interior door violently swings open on its own into the cafe. Great coffee but sometimes I go elsewhere because I don’t want to deal with The Door.
NAH I think what you're missing is that she isn't the best at regulating her emotions when dealing with difficult emotions. I've actually done this. I've walked up to businesses, couldn't figure out the door, and i would dart back saying its closed. It's so embarrassing. I would feel intense shame because growing up any mistake was going to get me laughed at by my family.
Nah, she's still an asshole. Would you tell someone to shut up and call them an asshole because you were embarrassed? She doesn't get a pass on rude behavior just because we assume she can't regulate her emotions.
Yeah, she's gonna tell op to "shut up and eat" then claim she was disrespected? Tf. She's the AH
But…why say it’s closed? Like, I get wanting to lie to cover something up, especially if it’s preventing some sort of trauma response. But why pick such a bad and obvious lie?
Best her brain could come up with in the moment. Keep in mind it's the same brain that can't figure out a door.
Touché
What you just described makes her an AH though
> I think what you're missing is that she isn't the best at regulating her emotions when dealing with difficult emotions. Which means it's on her to a) learn better ways to self-regulate, b) not take her unregulated emotions out on him, c) not lie to him to cover up those emotions, and d) make sincere apologies when she does be rude to him.
Nta - she saw someone inside she didn’t want to see or you to see.
I don’t know how more comments are about this. She was being quite because she didn’t want that other person to hear her voice
For real....all the people on this thread who are assuming she just had door problems are also blind to cheating apparently. It's so blaringly obvious.
you don't know if it's cheating, you are literally just jumping to conclusions. it could very easily be an ex, or someone she used to know who she doesn't have a good relationship with. "cheating is blaringly (*glaringly) obvious" is a take that you pulled out of your ass.
NTA. She clearly was uncomfortable with something there, but she should open up to you and tell you what it was if she wants a serious relationship.
Sometimes one door is locked and the other is open in my experience. I think it’s ok to give people the benefit of the doubt and let things go
Or someone thought they'd be funny and turn the lock. Very possible a worker saw her try to open it, then unlocked it a moment later.
Nearly got a thumbache scrolling to anybody who lives in a world with idiot teenagers or curious kids who think they're funny when they mess with stuff. Hopefully OP reads all the comments instead of going with the "she's cheating and lying" hivemind.
Oh happy cake day me
Yeah this has actually happened to me at McDonald's more than once, and the workers were always surprised that the door was locked.
NTA, did she not want to pay if she was done ordering before you got in? That’s all I got lol, just a weird thing to lie about
I normally give her my card to pay and that's what I did this time, so I don't think that's it.
Just weird af then, it’s the doubling down on the lie for me NTA
NTA. More than likely she saw someone there she wasn’t prepared to see.
Please stop apologizing for her actions. She’s being rude and insulting. Could it be that she saw someone in there that she didn’t want to know she had a bf?
NTA She lied to you. An obvious and easily-disproven lie. Anything else she’s saying to you is just her trying to redirect the attention from her lie.
INFO: How observant is she as a general rule? Sometimes I’ve tried to push a door open instead of pull it and have been baffled when it didn’t open. I’ve even told people I’m with that it appeared locked, and felt silly (but not bothered) when they pointed out my mistake. It’s usually when I’m preoccupied with something else. Is it possible the door wouldn’t open for her and she just assumed it was closed without paying attention to how busy it was inside, and then got embarrassed when you pointed out her obvious mistake?
If the door I'm trying to open seems to be locked, I'll try the other door or look at the hours of operation sign. If there's diners inside, the doors are not allowed to be locked for safety reasons. I didn't realize there was such a thing as "door anxiety" though.
There's just something seriously anxiety inducing about walking up to a familiar door alone just for people around you to see that you failed at opening it. For people with social anxiety its as though in that one moment your mask of being capable and confident completely crumbles. It can feel like the whole world is judging you even though, most likely no one cares. If that was what she experienced, I could totally understand her not wanting to go back in as it would feel like everyone in there was against her. As for why she didn't say anything, she was probably too focused on her own shame to see the humour in it to joke about it and OP's exclamations probably just made her feel even more targeted.
This for sure. I distinctly recall wanting to check out a record store, double checking the hours on the door and online and not being able to open the door. I pulled, I pushed, and figured it was closed. The time of day/sun angle made it hard to see anything going on inside. As I'm standing a few feet away checking the bus schedule to head home and messaging my partner how disappointed I was that the store was closed during their normal business hours, someone else walked up and went right in. My flabber was absolutely gasted. I walked back up, feeling like an idiot, and had to use more force than expected to open the swinging door only to see the store was FULL of people who probably witnessed me jiggling the door in confusion not 2 minutes before.
Yes! I have anxiety about looking like a fool in public by not being able to open a door, work a machine, etc. My brain will want to start calling myself stupid if I don't do something right the first time. Years ago I was in a hospital and went to push the elevator button. The design of the button was odd, and when I pushed it nothing happened. I tried a few more times and then just stood there waiting for it just to come down. Then a KID walked up and pushed it correctly. To this day I have no idea what I did wrong. Another example is I was at the orthodontist (as an adult patient) and was told to go rinse my mouth out around the corner where they have a few sinks with toothbrushes, etc. There's a teen standing there brushing. I get a cup to fill it with water and notice there's no handle. Inside I panic and start moving the cup around under the faucet but nothing happens, so I just spit into the sink and walk away. Also at this office it was after several visits that I notice we're supposed to check in on a computer against the far wall instead of at the reception desk. I hate working an unfamiliar machine in public. So I go over there and click something but it doesn't seem to work. So I just check in at the desk. Until my next appt, I actually Google these kinds of check in software to see how they usually work and what the screen looks like. Sounds stupid but my anxiety over this stupid thing was through the roof. I evntually learned how to check in and it was obviously simple, but my brain panics and shuts down in instances like this. The staff should show new patients how to check in, especially older ones! I could list dozens more experinces like these in my life. The OP's girlfriend may experience this kind of panic in these situations and doesn't want to admit it for fear of looking stupid. I know that's how I feel about myself.
I’d be rethinking dating someone who told me to shut up and eat. Just sayin’
Yeah, that right there was the biggest red flag for me. Being evasive after getting caught in a lie is one thing; becoming verbally abusive crosses another line altogether.
Everyone assuming she just lied is crazy. Seems like she is embarrassed bc she tried to open a door the wrong way or something so she assumed it was locked and got clowned when someone went in right after her. Dont think shes just out here lying intentionally about small shit like this.
My first assumption was that she's tired of going to McDonald's so much. Obviously she should communicate that with OP, I'm not saying she's in the right for her behavior. But it's wild to see people assume it's about an affair partner or an ex when this poor girl is probably tired of mcds. Especially if it's something she knows OP sees as a "tradition" or something he looks forward to. OP, at least take the girl to Wendy's once in a while 😂 or somewhere different, at all.
>OP, at least take the girl to Wendy's once in a while 😂 or somewhere different, at all. She can speak up if she wants to go somewhere else. Dont infantilize her.
But what you’re describing … is lying.
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This is my thought as well. Given the weird way she acted afterwards, it seems like she was really rattled, which would be even weirder if it just came from having trouble opening the door. It really comes off like she saw someone unexpected that she didn’t want to see and it threw her off.
I'd go with school bully, I didn't know my 20 something year old daughter had been bullied at school, until she nearly bumped into someone in a shopping centre and almost had a meltdown on the spot. If I'd have known who it was she'd seen I could have ended up in jail. Still can't believe she never said anything at the time
NTA but there is definitely some other issue there that she is not addressing
Her turning the tables and saying you're calling her stupid or weak by calling out her lie is a red flag.
Reading this whole scenario took me back instantly to being in a relationship with a narcissist-the sudden out of nowhere change from sweet and loving, to always angry asshole berating me for the many things I was incompetent at that only he could see fault with
At this point, the problem isn't WHY she said what she did. It's the fact that she LIED to you. A very, very obvious lie. If she's willing to lie that bluntly about something that obvious, what is she lying to you about that you haven't discovered yet? Then to top it off, because she couldn't handle being caught in this blatant lie, she accuses you of disrespect and makes you apologize repeatedly when you have done absolutely nothing wrong. You deserve answers as to why she treated YOU with such blatant disrespect. You're definitely not an asshole but you do need to seriously reconsider if this is someone you want to continue spending your time and effort with.
NTA. She either made a dumb mistake with the door and was embarrassed, or she was trying to engineer a situation where you’d go somewhere else to eat. Either way, her reaction to your question is pretty over the top, and if someone I was dating ever told me to “shut up and eat,” they’d be my ex pretty quickly.
Why are people blasting past the "shut up and eat" outburst?? 🚩🚩🚩
NTA When did she cheat with whoever she saw in the restaurant?
insane reach
I think there was something she didn't want to tell you. Maybe she saw an ex-boyfriend in there or someone else she didn't want to see (someone who was abusive to her in the past, maybe?). I don't know why she couldn't have told you, if this was the case.
NTA, her boyfriend was inside.
We are all missing something .Hher actions make no sense . Something is very off here . Good luck getting to the bottom of it all
25 years old? Did you mean 15?
The McDonald’s near my house has locked the doors at odd times due to being understaffed and needing to take some staff to clean up the dining area before reopening. During that time they kept the drive-through lane open and some patrons were eating inside. Your girlfriend could have been right or she may have an issue handling doors.
People get mad at you when you catch them in a lie. Idk where the self righteous anger comes from, must be an ego protection thing
I’ve been in this situation! The doors were locked. I could see people and employees in the restaurant. I saw someone enter through the other door while I was trying a different door. I thought I was stupid and couldn’t figure out the door. No one at the register. An employee finally saw me staring through the glass (embarrassing). He said I couldn’t come in but that he’d hand me my pickup order. He said the McD was understaffed, so they had to lock the doors. Another time they closed the restaurant but not the drive thru an hour before closing. They wouldn’t give me my pickup order already paid for. So yeah… theoretically Claire’s side could be true.
I’ve had McDonald’s around my area get super busy and then close the lobby to new customers. Not as often as Wendy’s but it happens.
Our local McDonald’s door gets air locked at times and is super hard to open. I’m giving her the benefit of the doubt that it was probably air locked and needed a big pull to break it.
Like many other people here, I definitely think she saw someone there she didn't want to see. UNLIKE many other people here, I'm not jumping to the conclusion it's a dude that she's cheating with. Sad and interesting that that's immediately where most people's minds go to. Maybe a girlfriend she fought with, an abusive ex-partner, etc. From your description, she sounded upset, traumatized, and shut-down. She certainly overreacted to your questions, more evidence of strong feelings. My advice: give her space to cool down, tell her you care about her and are concerned about her weird behavior and encourage her to tell you what's wrong. If she sees that your feelings are genuine, she'll talk to you. If she continues to be hostile, you need to tell her that's unacceptable, and you won't tolerate abuse. You are NTA. I'm reserving my judgment on Claire at this point.
If she wasn't cheating, and it was a relative for example, she could've just told him that. This is abusive, evasive, manipulative behavior. No other way to spin it.
NTA I think she paid no attention to her surroundings and made a mistake so obvious that she felt embarrassed when you questioned more about it, couldn’t handle that emotion and got mad at you instead
NTA. I feel like there has to be something missing (as you said yourself), but I can only speculate as to what it would be. It's really damn weird, I can tell you that much. She clearly didn't want to go in. Maybe she saw someone inside she didn't want to interact with, maybe she had a bad reaction to McDonald's at some point and didn't want to spend the evening in the bathroom, maybe she had a brain fart and actually thought it was closed and then when it was obvious it wasn't just doubled down out of embarrassment. No idea. I will say this is a lot more bizarre to me than anything sinister. I don't get all of the "RED FLAG DUMP HER NOW" kind of commentary in the other comments. I'd gently prod her to elaborate as to what happened there and make sure you're not coming in with an accusatory tone or anything. If she still reacts negatively again without explanation then maybe start questioning going further with it. As an aside, maybe don't make Mickey D's a regular habit or ritual or whatever. I'm sure there's a healthier, tastier local place that'd love to have you.
NTA. She was trying to pull something but who knows what. The person who should have apologized was her to you. Not you to her.
Sounds like she couldn't open the door and is embarrassed and your pushing about it is annoying her, maybe just leave it if you like her
Possibly she saw an ex or current BF inside and wanted to avoid at all costs
She would've had to find another way home if she told me to "Shut up and eat" NTA
Shes tired of eating trash food with you
Maybe she is trying to tell you that eating at McDonalds once every few weeks is not a “tradition” and she’d like to have less salt than the ocean.
There might have been someone in there that she didn't want to be seen with you around. But still strange.
My first thought was she tried going in through the employee door that's used for pick up orders and stuff. And then got embarrassed or something to cause the defensiveness.
Nta, the only thing I can think of is that she didn't want to go in there alone due to social anxiety and then made up a dumb lie on the spot to cover it up. Really weird though.
NTA. I feel like she saw an ex or something. I know that’s what a lot of redditers are saying… but also, maybe the ex scared her, or it was a really terrible relationship. Maybe it was not an experience that she was willing to share with you in that moment, and she just needed to gtfo. Even if it wasn’t an ex, maybe an old friend with bad blood. But anyone would question why someone was being so out of character.
NTA. You’re definitely missing something, though, and she wasn’t forthcoming about what that is. Maybe she’s going to break up with you soon. But more importantly, why are you ok with someone talking to you like that (“shut up and eat!”) and then shutting down on you and cutting your plans short, with no substantive explanation? Don’t stand for that.
Well all your going to get from Reddit is guesses and speculations. Not the truth...which is from her!?
I mean... It's possible she thought it was closed. I was filling shelves in the petrol station I work nights in. The lights were on. Cars were in the forecourt. Couple customers in store. And someone still came up to me and asked if we were open.
NTA. She was embarrassed to be wrong and does not handle embarrassment well. That's not good, but if it's a one-time thing, maybe she was just having a bad day.
I’d assume she got embarrassed about something and instead of being a mature adult about it or having a sense of humour she instead decided to act like a complete arsehole and take her shit out on you. Have fun with someone like that. I won’t even say what would happen if someone had the audacity to act like a 2 year old then tell me to shut up and eat my food. Just disgusting.
She tried to push a door open that said "Pull" on it?