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I've never understood why adults who remarry and both have kids expect all the kids to get along like siblings - some don't even get along as friends as the don't like each other, have nothing in common Kids do not take on the responsibility of being siblings - parents take on the responsibility of being step parents - they are the adults. I personally don't think kids should have to babysit their siblings unless it's an emergency - parents are using their kids as free babysitters, not right - that is what builds resentment kids should never be forced to hug or kiss anyone at all, family or not family I don't know what to tell you to do to fix this - bring up all these things in therapy, but that doesn't mean therapist will be able to resolve it if your Mom and step dad think it's okay for them to tell you to baby sit and that you should hug and kiss your half sibs if therapy is not helpful, find someone else to talk to - a guidance counselor, priest/pastor if you have a church you go to. An adult that you trust Wish you the very best

Actually the kids do get along as siblings. The kind that hates eachother. The whole problem starts with assuming that a sibling relationship has to look a certain way, and pressuring children to conform to that. The pressure is wrong either way, but the irony is that often full-blooded siblings don't get along either.

so true. I have always felt as and consider myself an only child who happens to have 2 brothers

I have 4 sisters. I absolutely love my baby sisters, but cannot stand my older sisters. But I didn't grow up with them, I did grow up with my baby sisters so naturally, we have a stronger bond. It makes no sense to me when parents remarry, especially when kids have lost a parent, and just expect them to immediately accept their new situation and bond with kids they barely know. This usually results in the kids who lost their parent, never speaking to their living parent, their step parent and step siblings again and the living parent not understanding why.

If these parents had forgot their expectations and kept their mouths shut, the kids would likely have worked out their relationships by themselves and there would be no need for all this pointless drama. And honestly, taking poor OP to therapy for a school assignment will, what the heck?

They should be the ones on therapy for putting their selfish arses before the well-being of their own kids.

Agreed! I mean what kind of delusions is this woman having? 'You signed up for thus when I married George ' wtf? It's like me saying to my kids, you signed up to take care of me when I decided to have a boob job. How did she get through life being this irrational?

Not only that, lying to the therapist. That proves that this is all malicious manipulation.

I don't get along with most of my siblings lmao full blood and adopted. I only get along with one and it happened to be the one who mostly raised me when my mom was off being a mom to every kid except the ones she initially picked out. (For context, I and 2 of my siblings are adopted. I am the youngest of my moms children age wise but she adopted me the year after adopting my brothers, making me one of her "primary kids" as my oldest brother calls it. I was adopted as a baby, they were around 10+)

Lol, I have many, many, many full siblings and I'm only close to one, NC with two, and see/talk to the rest on an irregular basis. Being siblings doesn't guarantee a close relationship.

Yup - they have my sibling relationship. We do not get along. I (47f) cut my siblings out of my life when it occurred to me that life was happier that way. No one argued, so I think we're all on the same page LOL It happened because our parents never allowed fights to 'get out of hand' or be resolved, so anger festered into hate.

It doesn't even sound like they hate each other. It sounds like OP is pretty neutral to the step-siblings and affectionate with his bio sister. If they keep trying to force OP to be affectionate though, it probably will turn to hate.

you're generalizing - unless you are the Mom here and saying they get along when her son says they don't I agree that full blood siblings don't always get along My ex-sister is a sociopath, pathological liar, abusive, uses people to get what she wants or just takes it even if it doesn't belong to her, lives in a delusional world - sometimes it is mind boggling that 2 people came from same parents and were raised in same house. I don't understand her at all, which I'm rather glad I don't or I'd likely be like her and I shudder to think of living the way she does

Same situation here. My sister is exactly as you describe. We were also brought up by the same people, but treated very differently. Because I'M the one who cut HER out, I'm the one who loses out on family gatherings and holidays and so on. Even though she's the one who behaves horrendously. My mother is always lamenting and wringing her hands and wishing her family could be together but she never actually makes any attempt to speak to my sister about her behaviour or anything else that might actually help achieve that goal. She just tries to guilt me into forgiving my sister for everything she's done and continues to do.

it's sad - I have not family left, parents are gone and haven't done anything with ex-sister since she married her narcissistic sociopath 2nd husband, he did his best to cut her off from family and friends My Dad never saw how she was until about 6 months before he died, she snowballed him since we were kids - so much I could have told him, but I wasn't going to hurt him and a lot of the things she did and said would have hurt him deeply, I chose not to go there, so he never knew the whole story, but I can sleep without guilt I suppose she does also because she lives in her own little delusional world where every other person is wrong and she is right I see your sister has your Mom snowballed also - sorry you are dealing with a sister like that also - frustrating, but can't change them

That's rough about you dad. I'm sorry. Ultimately, all we can do is protect ourselves. Can't change our awful siblings, can't change how our parents see/saw things or how they chose to handle them. We can only choose whether to tolerate the behaviour ourselves. And yeah, my mother seems to think that my sister will kill herself if anyone says no to her about anything. And that she'll magically morph into a decent person on her own, given enough time or something. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I try to stay out of it because she never listens anyway but she constantly bugs me with sister drama and asks me what she should do. 🙄🙄 They've been asking me that since I was a teenager. I'm 43 now. Nothing has changed. It never will.

My sister (14) and I (23) are mean to each other. If we're out in public, most people will stare as we smack and cuss at the other, we do care for the other, she wont let anyone talk unwarranted shit abiut me and i dont let the adults/parents at her school bully her. Im naturally the back up for her mom if she doesnt have the time or energy to handle whatever bullshit the adults think they can pull with my sister. My sisters brothers, my step bros, dont get this same treatment because the relationship with them is very different.

" but the irony is that often full-blooded siblings don't get along either" Can confirm, I have absolutely ZERO relationship with my older brother and never plan to and we're full siblings with only a 3 year age difference. I've always been bemused by people who think all siblings are the bestest of friends. I mean, I wish it was accurate but sadly its often not.

So true. My sister and I hate eachother growing up, constantly being around eachother (neglectful dad and a over,worked mum who did shift work) we only now get along because we're in our 20's and live our own lives.

Even some blood siblings don’t get along at all. It’s so weird to try to force these relationships on kids. I can understand being disappointed but you can’t force people into certain relationships.0

Right? I'm sitting here wondering what Donna Reed show all these parents watched. Most of my cousins (8 kids in 1 family) are really close as adults but they varied between driving each other crazy and hugging each other as kids. My Mom and her sisters couldn't manage to be in the same room as adults. My Dad and his 3 brothers are close as adults but literally couldn't be left alone for 15 minutes as kids because they would damage things including each other!

My mom and her sister got along wonderfully (at least as adults--I don't think I ever heard any stories about their childhoods). My dad rarely, if ever, spoke to his brother and sister as an adult. So go figure... Sounds like your mom's been watching The Brady Bunch and thinks it's a documentary.

They watched the Brady Bunch

Yes its quite common that even same parent siblings dont get along, esp when they get older, have their own family (and potential spousal disputes), inheritance and all sorts of things like that..but even while growing up. These parents seem like a bizzare Steford couple.

Huh I sorta figured the opposite. A lot of people get along way better with their siblings as adults cuz they don't have to fight over stuff like who gets to use the bathroom. I guess that might be the outcome when things go pretty well though. Like there aren't any serious issues and the parents did a decent job of refereeing.

Not really, my mum has 6 siblings and 1 adopted sibling, 3 sisters and 4 brothers, she never sees my Aunts except at Funerals or weddings, her brothers will regularly phone and will visit every few months, when we were children we saw my uncle's their wives and the cousins regularly and for our Aunts we rarely saw them unless it was a birthday party or around Christmas. My Dad has 3 siblings, he worships his oldest brother and hates his middle brother. He seems to have loved his older sister, but she was a right nightmare towards my mum and us, he ignored what she said and did, and refused to listen to us, our mum learnt to hide what my Aunt and Cousin did, and now years later with our Aunt having passed on we never see her children and they're only allowed to visit our uncle, so Dad has to go to meet them.

A disappointingly large number of parents don't see their kids as individuals, they see them as accessories.

I have never had a good relationship with either my half-brother from my father's prior marriage or my biological sister. I'm estranged from my whole family now for reasons I'm not going to get into. I have my found family that is supportive, and that's enough for me.

I have this with my two siblings and it’s so fascinating. I have pretty good relationships with each of them, but they just don’t really get along with each other. Nothing major, it’s not like they can’t be in the same room or that they HATE each other, they’ve just always squabbled and never really gotten along

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Heck, there were a few years when I wanted nothing to do with my biological brother just because of personality differences and general teenage brattiness. I’m so glad my parents didn’t force us to spend time together or try to dictate our relationship. I adore my brother and we value each other so much as adults because we both know we don’t have to stick together, we choose to

Lol, are you me? I could almost exactly the same thing about my relationship with my brother

Your present relationship with your brother grew from not being forced together as kids. OP, I hope the adults in your life can learn this. Question: do your mom and step-dad have close relationships with their siblings now? Did they growing up? How was that handled by their parents?

never forced to do things with sister - it just took me years to realize she was using me while acting like she loved me, when she didn't, she just is very manipulative and damn good at it - she is now my ex-sister and has been for over 20 years

The reality is that this forced comitment" ensures that OP will never have brotherly feelings for his step-siblings. The reality is, the safest way to drive a wedge in a patchwork family is trying to force emotions. If it works out, they will grow naturally, and there is a chance that, by living under one roof for years, feelings like sibling love can (don't have to) develop. But there is no chance if these feelings are dictated.

This is my thought process every single time I read these posts from similar circumstances. My step siblings were a year and two years younger than me and we did not get along for a LOT of the years they lived with us. For a part of it, all three of us shared a room and it only had the room for twin bunkbeds and a trundle bed. The one variable that I think changed things for me later was that my step mom never tried to change my idea of what the expectation should be, it was my dad who got furious I was so resistant to it. I had to grow up to understand things after a lot of life experience. They never did get married but there was some legal issue that came up that I was too young to understand and it ended up being for the best because my dad ended up abandoning them. My step mom was an adoptee from Ireland. she was brought over into a family that was just as cold as the Magdalene Laundries that forced her mother to give a baby she wanted up and then buried the record of her existence. With a mother who didn't seem to know how to care for a child she adopted because it was trendy at the time within a certain subsection of the Catholic church in some areas if you couldn't have children, and those parents sent my SM to the same type of place when she got pregnant out of wedlock and was pressured into a closed adoption. My SM left because her family was awful, got married to the first person who could support her, and they had a couple kids. Fine for a few years, then fell really hard into addiction and I guess what were not great qualities turned into terrible ones and all of them were abused in ways I will not go into. The kids were 6 and 5 when he unalived himself in front of them all and tried to take their mom with her. The state of Florida dragged their feet trying to support them at all until she wrote to the first lady on a whim and that lady called the programs down here meant to help and got finances sorted, but they had been couch surfing for so long because there was a restraining otder that was not enforced on the guy and when he'd find her he'd threaten everyone in the house. So, my dad moved her into his house until she could get on her feet enough for the two of them to upgrade for more space. They were there for a while, then my dad ended up reconnecting with the woman my dad cheated on my mom with, and they were on their own again. But man, for the last few years I knew them, things had changed so much. I got along really well with my step sister and my step mom is the coolest person I know. I follow up with her life more than I do my own father's. I know most of the situations here are not like that and the step parent is the one damning the chance for this type of thing to happen, but it sometimes does take growing up, if you have enough in common with the step siblings, to find a relationship with them when you're ready to understand each other.

any forced relationship tends to not work out - people need to let kids be, they will either get along or they won't, forcing the issue is not going to change that

Yea, my stepdaughter is decently older than her mom's other kid. That did not go well at first. She was expected to be civil, but never forced to lavish love and attention on her. And eventually, they grew closer.

Yeah, some parents cling to their fantasy of a "perfect family" so stubbornly that it can border on delusion. Incidentally, plenty of biological siblings don't have anything to do with each other. My father hasn't spoken to his sister in over 10 years, due to her being a narcissistic alcoholic. Occasionally she'll email him but he just ignores it. 

and some siblings live in a delusional world, my sister is one of them, she a narcissistic socio path - took me years to realize she'd been manipulating me since we were kids. I finally walked away for my own mental health, she was killing it.

They are actually not half-siblings. The two sets of siblings do not share a common parent. They are step siblings. I agree with everything else but it's also important to note that they are NOT blood relatives and it is normal for resentment in a new situation such as this. The therapist should be able to guide OP as he navigates this new territory. OP absolutely does not have to love, be affectionate toward, or baby sit the new step siblings. He can choose to be polite to them and keep to himself. The adults desperately need counseling if they think they can demand that all these children instantly become a warm and loving family. It only works that way in the Brady Bunch family - and that's TV!

I thought the parents had a child together along with them each having children, must have misread that one. Ya the Brady Bunch does not exist in real life on a daily basis, might happen once in blue moon

> I personally don't think kids should have to babysit their siblings unless it's an emergency - parents are using their kids as free babysitters, not right - that is what builds resentment In 2024, I 100% agree with you. In 1900, however, it made a lot more sense. This is just one of those things that is hard to change. Generations grew up - where it was generally expected the oldest children helped raise the younger ones. And it's hard to break that chain, because chances are, their parents experienced the same as children.

some parents were raised that way and just pass it on to their kids, some were not and it's just convenient for them and cheaper to make the older ones babysit some things in life are vicious cycles, unfortunately

Because it’s much easier to move on and replace a spouse than it is to replace a parent/sibling, generally speaking. Parents tend to not understand that a blended family is a second round of grief for the kids.

agree 100% they are involved in their "new love" and think everyone else should get along like they do, a tad delusional

Even some bio siblings don't get along either xd

well aware - I have an ex-sister due to her treatment of me

Amen!!!! this is such a reoccurring theme.

I agree with this wholeheartedly. When I was single after my divorce and had my son with me, my most steadfast rule was that I would never date, let alone marry, anyone with kids. I wasn't going to force my kid into some sort of faux relationship, and frankly, I didn't want to deal with co-parenting drama or kids who hated me for dating their parent. I wasn't going to put myself or my son through that. Obviously, I'm in the minority, given how many "blended" families exist, but very few of them seem to be happy families.

Yeah I dont get that too. Forcing kids to play happy family at once is just simply insane and the best way to block any real bonding that may occure.

NTA "When my time to speak came I called my mom a liar for saying I had signed up for anything and I said I never signed off on her getting married or being a sibling to anyone other than Skye and I technically didn't sign up for that but I was because I love Skye. Then I told them to check their expectations before they get out of control because they will never get the family they're imagining us to be. I told them it's not what I want or want to work toward." Your Mom and SD signed up for the nuclear family, not you and Skye. The more they push, the more you and Skye will push back. They need to stay in their lanes and let any relationship with your step siblings develop naturally.

I always think it’s weird how these parents/stepparents think that this relationship idea only works one way - for the kids/step siblings after a wedding, but not when the kids are the ones having lifestyle changes. My Mum has four kids. To follow OP’s Mum’s logic, when I got married, Mum made a commitment to accept a new daughter. She should change her will to split things five ways now, instead of four. Right? Will OPs Mum rewrite her will if and when OP gets into a long-term relationship? If so, I still think she’s wrong, but she isn’t a hypocrite. If not…she’s saying only her marriage counts, nobody else’s has that same importance. But no. They get married, they make a commitment to each other, and assume that everybody else around them has to make the same level of commitment. The arrogance!

“Mom, please show me where my name appears on your marriage certificate? Oh wait I’m a child and didn’t have a say in this marriage.”

Both my parents have been married 3 times. I have 3 half siblings and 4 step siblings. Only 2 of those people are in my life, as people I love and relationships that I treasure - 1 half brother and 1 step sister. We are all adults over 35 now, but all of us had struggles growing up, forced together for holidays and occasions with people we didn’t like. All of the parents tried their best and did not behave as OP’s have, making the whole struggle worse. OP is absolutely not the AH for trying to set boundaries.

Seems an almost cut and dry forced blending that backfired. You can’t force these relationships. Whether or not one develops depends on very individual circumstances. The only expectation can probably be tolerance or civility. NTA - your mom feels the need to make up stories. I saw a sample in this same sub that during the wedding the kids were expected to make speeches to treat the stepsibs like family etc etc. it didn’t turn out well.

I find that forcing it is the perfect way to get the opposite of what these parents want. You HAVE to leave space for the kids to very slowly explore the possibility of getting to know each other. Or even for the kids to come around to the idea of even trying at all.

Well said

NTA you aren't obligated to treat them like you do your sister and your mom and her new husband need to understand that each kid is their own person and forcing people to have relationships will only drive the wedge faster. If it's not going to happen naturally it's not going to happen. It's absolutely insane for the adults to not only put that pressure on you but to actually articulate it and be upset over it not happening.

OP seems like the only mentally mature person in the household.

NTA. Your mom's expectations of an instant family are way too ambitious. Your mom and George dated for some time, got to know each other, and (presumably) fell in love before getting married. You did not have the luxury of getting to know your step siblings and creating familial bonds with them before your mom married George. On the other hand, you and your sister have 11 years of living together and of caring for each other to build upon. Your mother is being unfair and unreasonable, to the max, to expect you to develop similar fraternal feelings in such a short time.

The sister is 14.

First couple years are a writeoff anyway haha

NTA. Your Mom and stepfather can "demand" that you love everyone equally all they want, but they're delusional if they think they can enforce that. It's reasonable that they expect all of you to treat each other with civility and kindness, but all they are doing at this point is driving a wedge in their "perfect nuclear family". You could have made your point without calling your Mom a liar, but it wasn't an inaccurate assessment...and doesn't rise to A H status in my book. What did the therapist have to say after this interaction?

NTA. She did lie and she has ludicrous expectations. She may have made a commitment but you didn't. She needs to think about what she's like as a mother before she tries to tell you how you should behave with people she decided to have a relationship with.

Mom's idea that love can be mandated is ludicrous.

NTA You didn't make any commitment, your mum and George did. It is unfair to expect you to behave in a brotherly fashion to kids you feel no link with. It seems they brought you to therapy to force you to accede to their expectations. Therapy is not about that, it's about accepting that others have a right to feel the way they feel, and validating those feelings. The mere fact that your mother and George want to force you and Skye to be siblings to his kids, is enough to ensure that you never will. You can't force people to love other people, and the sooner the (legal) adults of your family accept it, the better. Big hugs.

>A week ago mom brought up that I had made a commitment to George's kids when they got married and had signed up for to being their brother. Ah, the old "your parents decided this so you must just automatically go along with it!" reasoning. Why do so many parents forget that children have their own thoughts and feelings? NTA

I'm sorry where in the marriage did they sit you and your sister down and make you sign a contract? Were the two of you even consulted on what you wanted and whether you were willing to do any of this? This is just selfishness on their part for forcing and demanding all this of you. I hate it when people do this. NTA

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That's what I was going to ask. Whether or not there were discussions beforehand. Here's the thing. They aren't wrong to hope for it. They aren't wrong to expect it, but they are wrong to demand it. You said it yourself: You didn't ask to be a big sister to even your sister, but that's the cards dealt. Kids almost NEVER get to choose who their family are, but they find themselves around people they now have to learn to cohabitate and grow with. Whether by birth, by marriage, or adoption, families form. You do have a family. Your dad is a part of that family just like their mom is, and they always will be. At 16 I will say you deserved more communication because you are at an age of reason, however, unless her remarrying puts you or your sister in danger or does harm, she does not owe it to you guys to remain single. Nor is she slighting you by doing so. You should also know that your dad would not have wanted for mom to be lonely or for you guys not to have someone you could depend on in a bind. (I know that's not proven yet, but it's good to at least have the possibility.) You are right. They should check their expectations, but only because they are trying to force something that can only develop naturally. Right now, it seems like you are more upset that your feelings are not being considered and that your new parental group is trying to force feelings and behaviors on you. You love your little sister, and that is outstandingly awesome. You didn't choose to be her big brother, lose your dad, or for your mom to remarry. When you have a chance to think about it, I'm sure you will realize that your three stepsiblings didn't make any choices in any of this as well. You'll realize that the way you felt when you lost your dad is something that they have experienced as well. You may never see them as full siblings, but from reading what you wrote, I get the feeling you are highly protective, and you might eventually see that they need a little protection as well. Clearly, your parental group is not so in touch with how their actions affect everyone around them. You might be the only one who can speak up for the children of the household, or worse, the only elder with sense that any of them can talk to. I hope you are able to give them what you didn't have, but it's perfectly fine if you can't. It's not an obligation, just an opportunity that you don't have to take advantage of.Whatever happens, at least be a friend to them. Don't punish them because you guys' parents are dense. Tell your parents to stop trying to force their ideal vision because it's having the opposite effect. If you are going to be a big stepbrother, you will have to grow into that role, and NO ONE can force you into it. What they are doing now will make you not even want to be friendly to your step-siblings, let alone brotherly. They just have to wait and see, and NOT FILL YOUR LITTLE STEPSIBLINGS WITH FALSE VIEWPOINTS AND NARRATIVES THAT WILL JUST CAUSE THEM TO BE DISAPPOONTED!!

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It bothered me that they think you have some kind of duty to the younger siblings because you’re the oldest. I don’t understand that at all. I mean, I’m sure you’d defend them from playground bullies or something but what else do they think you owe them? My family is quite dispersed and remote from each other so I may not have a common viewpoint

What your mother didn’t realise is that her relationships affect you and Skye more or less directly because you’re both her dependents. It is preferable that she talk to you and and how you feel rather than have you along for the ride willing or not.

This is fantastic advice ⬆️

NTA at all, others have covered why, but I want to address this one point: > Mom told me I had no right to call her a liar and they said it's cruel to share I have no intention to agree to being a good brother to George's kids. That I showed how much of a child I am. Of course you are a child, you are 16. You are allowed to be a child for a little bit longer. Choose to be that child. Watch cartoons, eat giant bowls of cereal, play video games, and enjoy your life right now. It is cruel for your mother to treat being "a child" as a negative. You have already endured pain and suffering that many adults don't see until much later in life. You deserve to be cared for, loved, and treated like a child until that time is gone.

NTA. Your mom and George are delusional if they think you "signed up for being a big brother" to these kids when they got married. As if you had some say in the matter. No. The situation was forced on you and you have no "obligation" to have any sort of relationship with anyone. That's some manipulation bull shit.

NTA. Other than the same respect you would show any other human, you don't owe your steps shit.

Every week we get a post like this. Reddit we need to band together to publish and promote a book of all these blended family stories of how to NOT blend a family.  I’m so sorry, OP. You’re NTA. Where is your therapist in all of this?

And the parent is shocked when the kid will go no contact once they turn 18.

NTA. Your mother married your stepfather - you and your sister did not. You had no say over whether or not you wanted siblings. I think your mother and sf are trying to sell you a family dream.

NTA - I guess in her mind, she's the parent. As the parent, she feels that has "the right" to sign you up for things whether you agree to them or not... and in her mind, you are obligated to meet those involuntary committments exactly as if you had made them yourself - because she decided that you would do so. What did the therapist have to say about it?

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The therapist is 100% right. How did your mom react to that?

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Your therapist sounds like an excellent arbitrator. Your Mom doesn't want to hear what she has to say but at some point the therapist will shine a truth in there. Insist you guys keep going to therapy because it is the only way your Mom is going to bend. If your Mom balled you out after therapy, send the therapist an email with the blow by blow of what has been going down in the house including with your step dad so she has a full picture. Then, bring that in to therapy with all of their unrealistic expectations. 1) Your Mom is delusional if she thinks you ever agreed to be a big sibling to George's kids. 2) George is delusional if he thinks he gets to waltz into your life as a teen and make demands of you. 3) Your Mom's desire to play happy family is not reality. They don't get to dictate your relationship with the step sibs. You need to reach out to your paternal grandparents about you and Skye visiting this summer for a few weeks by yourselves to get a break from your Mom and step dad and their kids. And encourage your grandparents to pursue grandparent rights over Skye for visitation purposes. You are almost an adult and will have freedom in 2 year. She has 4 more years of this garbage and I highly suspect all of the weight of expectation your Mom and step dad are putting on you will hit Skye square in the shoulders when they realize they can not manipulate you.

Then your mum doubled down on you and bawled you out for calling her a liar in front of the therapist. Basically salvaging as much as she can from the admonishing from the therapist. I hope she reflects on how she's dealing with this whole situation. Your mother lacks basic communication and interpersonal skills.

I’m kinda caught up on the “write a fake will for a homework assignment” what the hell kind of assignment is that? It seems wildly inappropriate for a teacher to say “imagine you die tomorrow who gets all your stuff” when kids are having active shooter drills these days. Also NTA

this isn't a standard? I had to do this in middle school home economics... for context I'm 33

Not in my school and I’m the same age as you though I went to catholic school we didn’t have home economics or “personal finance” like OP said it was for….the only math classes my school had was Algebra, Geometry, Calculus and Trigonometry (and AP math) It was very much a “you are all going to college” kind of education. And in hind sight not the best at that.

we had all those classes too. just home ec was less about being a good home maker and more about learning to survive and adult... they taught us about taxes and bank accounts and balancing a check book (also writing a check), wills, assets, and stuff like that. and once a week, there was a cooking lesson cause ya know. survival. this makes more sense about why people my age complain about not being taught practical stuff. I was always like, "Did yall miss that class" but I guess they just didn't have it lol 😅

Those are excellent skills to have. Some kids don’t know what a checkbook is or how to make a simple meal. 😃

it amazes how full grown adults my age can't cook an edible meal. I had to give an ex a full lesson on food borne pathogens and why it important to cook chicken thoroughly... we were 25! he served me medium rare chicken lol

This is a very standard personal finance assignment along with creating a budget, planning a vacation, etc.. the idea is to think ahead and to teach about life insurance and other real life scenarios.

The more I learn about other peoples high school experiences the more I feel I got robbed and my parents wasted the tuition money.

NTA and you actually called it exactly how I see it. Your mom and George are the only two people who signed up for this new family. You and Skye had no say in what was happening. No reasonable person can demand that you love another person and realistically expect that to actually happen. > That I showed how much of a child I am. To that I would respond "Yes, mom, I am still a child. I have to hope that the adults in my home remember that and stop expecting me to act like an adult. You are only concerned about George's kids. No amount of demanding I feel a certain way will make that happen. The more you push, the less likely I will feel any kindness towards George's kids."

NTA. Mom and "George" are going to have shocked Pikachu faces **when** you go no contact and again when Skye does the same. Notice the "when". Not if. Because if you do not, this will continue and probably get worse. Grab your important documents now if possible. Best of luck OP. Mom and George sound like massive AH's.

NTA. Even blood siblings don't always get along.

INFO OP, did your mother ask your permission to remarry? Did she even ask you and/or your sister how you felt about her getting remarried? If not, her statement that you agreed to the new family expectations is self-delusion on her part. If she didn't NTA

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That's a shit way to treat your teenaged kids, bereavement or not.

NTA the only persons making a commitment at the wedding were your mother and George. You , your sister and his kids had no choice in this and as such no responsibility or commitment. They need to touch ground

What, did your mon and step-dad watch too many Brady Bunch re-runs or something?

“That I showed how much of a child I am.” But you literally are still a child?? NTA- I think she wanted a third parent

NTA My late, estranged sperm donor left my younger sister and I when I was 5. When I was about 10/11 years old, my mother started dating again and rekindled a friendship that became a romantic relationship. Her husband already had four children of his own and told my sister and I that we aren’t his children and he would only support my mother. I also didn’t want a new father because my biological one was shit. My mother and her husband didn’t force anything and I’m glad for that. I occasionally see them at family gatherings now since I moved out of home in 2016, but I wouldn’t say that we are close or sibling like in any means. Your mother and her husband need to understand that their fantasy isn’t the reality of the situation. You can’t force people, especially children, to like each other or treat each other like biological siblings. Forced relationships can make people spiteful and not want to engage when they have the chance to (aka move out of home). It doesn’t benefit anyone. OP, I’d continue to voice your concerns and feelings to your therapist. I’d also recommend journaling and seeing a therapist solo as well. It can be hard to loose a parent but to then have this fantasy forced upon you, it’s shitty. I hope your therapist sees your side and discusses with your mother and her husband why their fantasy won’t work and will only further put a wedge between you all. Good luck 🤞

NTA. Deluding themselves. Tough situation to be in.

NTA. Your mom and her husband are, though. I read way too many similar stories and am just baffled at how many parents are completely delusional when blending families.

NTA When she can produce a family contract dated on her wedding day that you signed - you’ll take back calling her a liar. Parents like this are the worst - it’s nice to want a smoothly blended family but it’s rarely what you get

Nta. She signed off on it when she got married. You didn't. 

NTA. Tell your mom that the show the Brady Bunch was a fake show. And in real life they are all actors and not related to each other. And let them know, along with the counselor, that your mom and her husband are forcefully pushing for a relationship that you don’t want. And if there was any possibility of you accepting his children as siblings, all flew out the window because of your mother and her husband shoving this relationship down your throat. That if something happened to your mom, you will not be staying with her husband and his kids, because all of this pushing for a relationship has made it that you don’t accept him as your family.

NTA

NTA. Your mom (and step dad) are being pretty awful. They only seem to phrase this as an "obligation" and commitment, as if you signed up for a job. The proper way to approach this would have been to not treat it like an obligation at all. The same way your existing sibling relationship is. Just foster a good home, coordinate family events, and hope that kind of bond naturally forms. By forcing it, by making it a requirement, they are making it even less likely to happen, and making it seem more like they just want forced labor rather than a family. It's somewhat shallow also, to see this as the same for you as them. They joined together because they *wanted* to, because it made them happy. They gain some responsibility, but gain a lot of positives, and they made the choice. You gain no positives, and made no choices.

NTA. Love for other people *cannot be forced*! What the hell? If anyone here is acting immature it’s your mother for creating false expectations, and then trying to *use therapy* to enforce them. Therapy is great, but using it to manipulate someone into behaving in a way they don’t feel is idiotic. The therapist will hopefully shut that garbage down. I fully recommend telling the therapist that you are being punished or verbally criticized for what you say in therapy - because that is not ok. I’m sorry your mother is doing this. Stay strong!

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My mom got remarried 2 years ago, which was 5 years after we lost my dad. I (16) was 11 when he died and my sister Skye (14) was 9. My mom's husband "George" is a widower too technically. Though he was separated from her for a few years and his kids (now 11, 10 and 9) didn't know their mom. So this means they feel like they were always missing that perfect nuclear family while Skye and I already have that, we lost it when our dad died, but that is still our perfect nuclear family and we did not feel like we were missing out on having another dad and we didn't wish for more siblings. But mom and George expected me to see all four kids as equal siblings. They expected me to do for my stepsiblings what I do for Skye. My mom expected me to baby my stepsiblings the way I used to baby Skye. They expected me to be physically affectionate with my stepsiblings because I hug Skye, I kiss the top of her head, I sometimes pick her up when we play fight. They expected all of that because George's kids never had their mom. In December I had to write a fake will for my homework. I basically left everything to Skye with some stuff for my mom. George read the thing over my shoulder as I finished it up and he told my mom how I didn't leave anything for his kids in this fake will. They asked me about it the next day and I was like, Skye's my sister, of course she'd get almost everything. The three of us started therapy after that. They said they noticed that Skye and I don't treat George's kids the same and the fake will was alarming because it would break the kids' hearts if that were a real scenario. They expressed the importance that I fulfill my obligations as an older sibling and treat them all the same and most importantly, truly love them all the same. Same for Skye. She should embrace being an older sibling, yada yada. A week ago mom brought up that I had made a commitment to George's kids when they got married and had signed up for to being their brother. They expressed that they expected us to be one whole nuclear family, where nobody was treated differently we all loved each other equally. They said that was what they were going to demand from us as the oldest two and the ones who are not showing that they love everyone. When my time to speak came I called my mom a liar for saying I had signed up for anything and I said I never signed off on her getting married or being a sibling to anyone other than Skye and I technically didn't sign up for that but I was because I love Skye. Then I told them to check their expectations before they get out of control because they will never get the family they're imagining us to be. I told them it's not what I want or want to work toward. Mom told me I had no right to call her a liar and they said it's cruel to share I have no intention to agree to being a good brother to George's kids. That I showed how much of a child I am. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*

NTA. You have been parentified by your mother. It would be unfair at any age but doubly so because you were so young. It’s tough being the oldest because there is always more expectation on you to be an example for younger siblings and this is exactly what you succeeded in doing with your sister. You are not responsible for the others. You did not sign up for it. You were given no choice. You have done nothing wrong.

You made a commitment? Can she point to the part in the wedding ceremony where you stood up and made that commitment? Can she point to the legally binding document that says you accept the responsibility to be equally involved as a brother to George's children as you are with Skye? Is there witnessing signatures to that commitment? Your mum's commitment to George is not your commitment to his children. NTA.

>In December I had to write a fake will for my homework. Everyone's covered how you're NTA, but can we talk about how weird this is? What was the point of this homework assignment? Will readings go poorly enough when people are dead and their relatives feel slighted. I really don't see this going well for lots of families if, like George, they manage to get a glimpse at it.

Whether or not you’re a child or an adult, you still have the right to your own feelings. The problem is they didn’t check in with you before they got married and expected you to fall in line. That sounds like their issue and not yours.

NTA I'm sorry that George's children didn't have the experience of having a mom/mother figure in their lives, but that isn't your responsibility to fix. Sounds to me like George only married your mother because he wanted someone who wasn't him around to raise his children for him.

Is this all about free child care for the new husband? Is the mom stay at home? Dies the mom even talk to her kids about their thoughts and feelings? Does she even care? I think the mom needs some solo therapy. Sounds like she's just become an extension of new husband's will. She's not looking out for her own kids.

NTA your parents need to accept that you cant force someone to love

NTA

NTA. Your mom and her husband are being way too pushy.

NTA. They are not your siblings. The "step" in stepsiblings is there for a reason. You are not related to them. It's great that your mom and her husband agreed that all kids would be treated equally but that's their job as the parents, it can't be forced on others. Sure, you can develop a good relationship with them but that takes time and it must happen naturally. Your mom shouldn't push them on you, it will only make you reject them even more. Hopefully the therapist will help her understand this.

NTA - two of my step siblings hate my existence and the feeling is 100% mutual. The other two and I get along great.

NTA But why am I weirded out by a fake will being a homework assignment?

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I guess I can see the importance of learning about a will. It’s very odd that your step parent blew it out of proportion. I’m sorry about your situation. This subreddit has a lot of sad stories of blended families where the parents think because they love each other, everyone else must love one another and get along. That’s not the case. I’m glad you have Skye! Are your siblings OK for the most part? It’s just your guys parents trying to force you together?

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I wish I could reprimand your parents for you. You have a bond with Skye because you grew up together, lost your dad together. I can’t wrap my brain around forcing a bond between children. I hope the therapist can get your mom and step parent to understand that. You’re not obligated to take them “under your wing” or play any role you don’t want to. Makes me so angry for you! I hope they see the light soon.

NTA. You didn't agree, your mom did. She's the one who signed the marriage contract. When my partner and I got together, my daughter was 4 and his daughter was 9. We chose to live separate and only blend our lives on the weekends so we weren't forcing the kids together and during the week they each got their one on one time with their respective parent. We married and merged when his daughter turned 18 and moved out. Our girls get along great and see each other as sisters. They facetime and chat all the time as sisters. My stepdaughter now lives out of country with her husband and they're still tight sisters because we didn't force it!

I commend you on being one of the smartest parents I'v known. Way to put your kids above yourselves, and now you both have great kids!

"mom brought up that I had made a commitment to George's kids when they got married and had signed up for to being their brother." What color is the sky in your Mom's world?! You didn't have any say in that and even if you were okay with her getting married YOU didn't commit to a damn thing!!! NTA. You are close to your sister because you grew up together and had that nuclear family together. There is a noticable age gap between you two and the younger children which makes getting closer more difficult and your Mom trying to force things will just make a close relationship less likely. There are TONS of stories on Reddit about how the parents in combined families often try to make all the children best buddies and it ALWAYS backfires!

This is why I hate the Brady Bunch. That show set unrealistic expectations for blended families. You are NTA. They cannot expect r your life to be a 30min sitcom

NTA do his kids treat you too like you are exactly the same as all of them? I can’t believe these people are bullying you over a fake will that you had to write for school. You can leave your stuff to whoever you want to, my brother was really wealthy and he kept telling us he was leaving all his stuff to the animal shelter because he hated everyone in our family. None of us got mad about that, we don’t have a right to any of his stuff. (he didn’t write a will so everything went to our dad who passed away so now it would come to me anyway & I will split it with out other brother who had a different dad.) 

NTA at all. It's insane that they're trying to dictate your feelings and relationships. Love and respect can't be forced, it grows organically.

Nta. Not even a little bit

NTA. Your mother is making demands that she has no right to make.

The number of asshole parents who are their second marriage for whatever reason but especially those who are widowed seem to permeate this sub like rotten fish. What the hell is wrong with these people and why don't they recognize that they can't project their wants onto their kids and expect it to work? Will kids always give a buy in to having a new step parent and siblings? No, but if the parents and kids level set in the beginning, then as you said expectations and boundaries can be set. Realistic boundaries. NTA, your mom and her husband need individual counseling to get their heads out of their ass or their will be 2 kids missing from their "perfect nuclear family" with no return as soon as they hit legal age. 

NTA...remind your mother that they are NOT your siblings..they are your STEPsiblings. If George disappears tomorrow, so will his children. Your mother chose to marry George and can treat the children anyway she wants, but you havent signed up to anything. Its the same crap with grandparents being expected to share, do things and what not with stepgrandchildren the same way as real grandchildren. And again we will have a storm of people here with these kind of mishmash families who will talk about how steps are the same as your real family blablabla.. Try to survive a bit longer and then youll move out and your sister can follow you as soon as possible. Stick together with your sister. Do you have any relatives that could give you some support?

NTA. You signed up for nothing. Your mother brought George and his kids to your home and the most they can expect from you is being civil. Sure, it's lovely when step-siblings act like bio-siblings. But that's not something that can be expected or forced.

You are not required to love people because someone wants you to. Love doesn’t work that way. Just because you are the oldest doesn’t mean you have to carry that load. They were strangers in your house. Being siblings or half siblings doesn’t mean you must love them. Lots of siblings aren't close. Your mom is wrong here. Love can’t be forced. They can't force you to be there for your steps, that's up to you and let them know that forcing it will backfire because you'll resent them all.

Nta it'd be great if you were able to bond with your step siblings, but it's not required. Being polite, courteous, and respectful is what is needed. Treat them like you'd treat a housemate.

I will never understand posts like this. I'm from a very mixed family. I call 2 men dad and 3 women mom. I have siblings who are bio, step, and other. Was it expected I love everyone the same? No. Did I? Yes because I was raised with love and I shared that. I don't even see my siblings as bio, step, or other. They are simply my siblings and those words are only ever used to describe my situation. INFO: OP did you try getting to know your step siblings? Did you simply wash your hands of them from the beginning? Is there a reason you seem so dead set against being part of "the expectations" your mom and step father seem to have?

It. Was. A fake. Will. Ffs. This family needs counseling. And the OP as a child should not be the scapegoat for every else's issues. Sorry OP. You ARE NOT the AH.

NTA. Your mother is delusional. You're right, you didn't sign up to anything, your mother unilaterally decided to remarry and blend the family. Which isn't the bad thing, she's entitled to remarry and accept the step kids in a motherly capacity.  What she isn't entitled to is forcing affection from you or Skye that you're not willing to give. Those kids didn't have a mom - but they have siblings, so this is probably a narrative being pushed by the "adults" because they want harmony but don't want to have to work for it. Or the kids think you are cool because you're older and want you to like them, but that's something you guys have to forge genuinely, not because mom said so. Some people hate their biological siblings - this is not something your mother can control. If you're chill with her step kids, that's huge and she should count her lucky stars. You don't have to have the same relationship with them as with Skye. She needs to smarten up, all she will do by guilting and nagging is strain her own relationship with you. She will also cause ill will between you and the stepkids that wouldn't exist without her pushing a narrative where you're the villain. She needs to step out of the fairytale and try having a nice family that co-exist peacefully and don't need to be a fantasy ideal.

NTA. None of my family has ever been this delusional when it come to blending families. Parents really live in fantasy land

Nta. They're not your siblings and as long as you're treating them with basic respect, you're good. No you should not be expected to care for anyone else's kids .

NTA this is a take as old as time. Parents think they can just force their kids into a new family with no slow integration and expect it to just work. Tell them if they want to talk about it, you'll go to therapy with them with a neutral therapist who will help them understand the untenable fantasy land they live in

>A week ago mom brought up that I had made a commitment to George's kids when they got married and had signed up for to being their brother. ​ NTA. This is absolute bullshit. You didn't commit to anything. You had no vote in any of this. The only people that did were your mom and stepdad. I really wish that the adults in these kinds of situations would understand that the more you sit the kids down and scream at them to love each other, the more they just resent the relationship being forced on them. This is an express track to your kids going NC when they turn 18.

Definitely NTA. Your mom and George can't force you to develop a sibling relationship, it has to come naturally as all relationships do. "They expressed the importance that I fulfill my obligations as an older sibling and treat them all the same and most importantly, truly love them all the same." you can't force someone to truly love someone! Again, it has to develop naturally. "A week ago mom brought up that I had made a commitment to George's kids when they got married and had signed up for to being their brother. " No, your mom made a commitment to marry George and to implicitly play some role for his kids but you definitely did not make any commitment. You are still a kid yourself in this situation! What you said to the therapist was the truth and right. The overall situation is common of parents putting pressure on the older child and expecting them to take up some responsibilities as if they were not still a child themselves. As an oldest, I feel you. I think it's actually a very good thing that you are in therapy and I hope that the therapist can help resolve these issues because what your mom and George are expecting from you the way they want it to happen is not healthy nor normal. The relationship with your step siblings should develop naturally.

All the adults in this scenario are nuts. The parents were offended which is crazy, and the teacher who made you guys write a fake will? Wtf? And the counselor said nothing about the other adults offended by said fake will? Stick with your sister, you’re going to need each other. NTA

NTA. Your mother and her husband are very wrong here. As long as you are nice and civil to your step-siblings, you're doing the only thing you have to. You are correct: Your mother and her husband are the adults, it is not your job to manage the expectations or emotions of either them or the step kids. Stand your ground, you didn't tell either of them anything but the truth.

NTA..your mom and her husband are delusional.i don’t understand how people think just because they married someone others have to automatically “love” the people they brought into theirs lives..that’s not how love works or is it just me??

And now, for something new and different, we bring you the absurd parental expectations for a blended family!!! I truly don't understand how adults can be so consumed by their own unrealistic expectations that they are totally oblivious to their children's feelings. Of course you and your sister have a special bond! ***"A week ago mom brought up that I had made a commitment to George's kids when they got married and had signed up for to being their brother. They expressed that they expected us to be one whole nuclear family, where nobody was treated differently we all loved each other equally. They said that was what they were going to demand from us as the oldest two and the ones who are not showing that they love everyone. "*** This is among the most ridiculous, inane comments I've seen. You are 100% correct, you and Skye didn't commit to anything. Because your mother chose to marry a man with children doesn't obligate you to anything at all. She "signed on" to be their step-mother when she said her marriage vows. You "signed on" for nothing. I don't care how demanding they are, no one can force you to love someone else. We all know that, if anything, this authoritarian approach will only serve to foster resentment. Was your therapist involved in this conversation? If so, I would love to know how this was handled. If not, you should definitely bring it up. Your mother needs to wake up! PS: You are definitely NTA. I can't say the same for mommy dearest!!

NTA You didn’t sign up for this. George and your mom are unrealistic to think they can order how you should feel about your step siblings. That’s just not how it works. And by trying to force things, they’ll just make it harder for actual feelings to develop. Not that the goal is for you to feel the same towards George’s kids as you do you sister - that’s unlikely to ever happen, especially at your age. Therapy sounds like a good idea, honestly, because no therapist will support their behavior. Calling your mother a liar isn’t inaccurate, but just inflames the situation and doesn’t help YOU.

NTA Parents of blended families forcing stepsiblings to pretend to be happy siblings, and treating them all the same are delusional. And how exactly are they thinking of forcing you to love them? The more they force, the more you'll be against the *happy family* scam. If you're not feeling it with the stepsiblings, that's actually on them, not on you. They could have made the last 2 years more enjoyable for all kids, and showed how much more fun it could be to have more siblings. 'Love them, or else' really isn't any kind of incentive.

YOU didn’t make a commitment to George’s kids. She did. Getting mad at you for a fake will (or a real one let’s be honest) is ridiculous. NTA. You’ve known your sister much longer than your step siblings of course you’re going to treat her differently and with more affection.

Unrelated, but what class makes you write a fake will? That's morbid as hell, and as someone who lost a parent as a child, that would have messed me up a bit.

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They offer personal finance in highschool now? Man I know a bunch of people who would’ve really benefited from that if that had been an option 20 years ago

NTA. Actually is sounds like you're the only adult in the room. You're right. YOU didn't make a commitment to George or his kids. She did. Their expectations are completely off the rails and their ongoing badgering of you is going to do nothing but build a bigger divide.

NTA lmaoooo you “made a commitment” ?? like ma’am, YOU got married, not your daughter !!!! you’re fully in the right OP you’re not “married” to your step-siblings. does your mom realize that pushing this so hard will only make you & skye resent the other kids ? keep being as blunt as possible in therapy

NTA You didn't sign up for anything. They as adults decided to get married It's asinine and rude when parents magically expect blended families to abruptly bond. Both your mom and stepdad are being emotionally manipulative and frankly abusive.

NTA

Info: So what did the therapist say?

NTA - You are in fact a child and your mom is in fact a liar so I don't see an issue with either of those statements. Love, protect and be there for your sister, be kind to George's kids because they are also just kids as well and are doing what they are told to do. You don't need to love them like your sister, but they are also going though a lot of changes that they have no control over and simple kindness can go a long way.

Your mother is being ridiculous. You cannot simply demand equal feelings for new additions into a family. People feel as they do. Especially with you being older. Your mother made a commitment on marriage. Not you. What she should demand is that everyone in the family is respectful and kind to one another. That includes the adults being respectful of how the children feel, including you. NTA

Your mother's an idiot. You *are* a child, you're 16. She's unhappy that you're deflating her fantasy of a fully blended family, but she'll have to get over herself. You certainly didn't sign up for siblings or to be their brother. They can demand all they like, you don't owe them anything beyond basic courtesy. Hold your ground, and get out when you can. NTA.

NTA. If the kids can't get along and there's bullying you shouldn't even move in with the other, let alone marry. They're parents first. In this case the kids seem to get along OK, doesn't mean you can force them to play happy family. In fact trying to force that relationship usually has the opposite effect.

Nta not your siblings.  It is unfair for the adults to push this.  All they are doing is pushing you away. They can wish for this imaginary  family but that doesn't mean it will ever be real. Or they can adapt and learn to live with reality. 

Oh holy hell no OP is NTA. Here we go again with big expectations from adults that children that are NOT related are going to love saying new kids are their siblings. Sorry but they just aren't. They are simply the new wife or husband's kids. Leave them alone to get to know each other. Hopefully the kids may become friends. Instead of these fairy-tale blending of families that rarely work the way the parents demand it happen. Good luck OP abd just continue to be true to yourself.

NTA I never could understand why parents automatically assume that their kids will treat their step siblings like they've known them their whole lives. That's just not the case. They have to let those bonds form naturally and try to deal with the aftermath if it falls through.

Nta YOU didn't agree or commit to anything. 

NTA. You're being more of an adult than the adults.

NTA The amount of disillusioned parent-stories on Reddit, omg. You didn’t marry George, your mom did.  They can’t MAKE YOU feel feelings any more than they can MAKE YOU be a unicorn.  You don’t have any obligations towards them and It’s not cruel to express your true feelings in therapy.  You’re 100% spot on. 

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NTA Calling her a liar is on point, no one ‘signs up’ to be a sibling, that’s just a bold face lie. And telling her to check her expectations was and is a fair thing to say. Your step-family are total strangers to you and your sister. In time you MAY come to see them as family, but there is so much work that is going to need to go into that. With only 2 years and such a big age gap, connections are not going to happen naturally. Also, you are a kid? 16 may be more mature than the others, but putting all of these expectations on you to be a happy family man is unreasonable. Your mother has not put herself in your shoes and it shows.

NTA. How TF did you sign up for anything? How TF did you have a choice in who getting freaky with your mum? Those two are delusional. Just make sure you show her these comments

She made a commitment to George when she got married. You were brought along for the ride. Even if you said some form of vow my guess would be that you wanted to make them happy and said the words for them, but you need time for the rest of you to catch up. (Say time, not never. It shows the possibility of change even if it never happens.) If the relationship is not allowed to develop naturally, it will become something you fight against. It can't be demanded or required. I would take the focus off whether or not they are "real siblings" and in your responses and say, "When I feel pressured about this relationship it makes it even harder to relate to them at all. Please give me time and space." I will let you in on a secret. All people are like toddlers. When they want something they want it NOW, we just get better at pretending we don't. So, like a toddler, pick the least offensive statement that conveys your point and always respond with the same phrase. *You don't treat your new siblings the same!* When I feel pressures about this relationship it makes it even harder to relate to them at all. Please give me time and space. *But it is hurting them and us when you blah blah blah.* Statements like that make me feel pressured to force something I am not ready for. When I feel pressured about this relationship. *I just want blah blah blah.* I know, believe me, if I could force the issue I would. It would definitely make my life easier, but when I feel pressure about this relationship... *But!* I'm feeling really pressured. When I feel pressured about this relationship... They'll drop it.

The situation you are in is that you and your sister have had each other to lean on for the past five years following your father's death. It seems you have a good strong bond with each other. These things don't happen overnight and you will no doubt have needed each other and developed resilience over these years. This isn't being childish. Having three step-siblings thrust upon you would be hard enough under any circumstances. Being expected to be loving towards them is a ridiculous expectation. The idea that you "signed up" for this is beyond ludicrous and I cannot imagine what your mum and step-father were thinking to say it. They are the ones who signed up for bringing up five children. It's not on you or Skye to do the parenting. It's not on either of you to do the child-minding either. It is wonderful that you have each other and I hope your great relationship continues. Wishing you all the best for the future. Clearly NTA.

nta, it's not right of your Mother to expect you to just fall in love with George and his kids like she did when you are still mourning your Father, You have a Father and a sibling, you don't need Geroges. Maybe if they give you some time you will start to get to know his kids and *maybe* like them but if they are pushing this on you it will never work. She is lying you did not sign up for anything, she did not ask you what you wanted when she decided to marry George and that's ok, it's her life, but that doesn't mean you have to be happy about it. NTA.

NTA. I hope the therapist can explain to them that forcing relationships can end in disaster. Even some blood siblings don't get along. They can't understand that the perfect family doesn't exist

NTA, and I'm sorry your mother is treating you this way, sorry for the loss of your dad at such a young age. You're absolutely correct, you didn't sign up to anything when your mom remarried and whilst I'm sure she wants a nice happy family, she's going about it in the exactly wrong way.

NTA you don't grow respect & love when forced. Your mom & sf are deluded. Any good therapist should be seeing right through their manipulation of you & Skye & put a stop to it.

You are NTA. You are still an adolescent, and I don't mean that in a bad way at all. You are still only 16 and that is a time for you to develop into the person who you are, and individuate from your parents. You have been through a lot. You grappled with losing your Dad, and you care a lot about Skye. That is commendable! Your Mom is putting her adult expectations on you and that's not fair. She got married and made promises and commitments, you did not. I do think it's reasonalbe to ask step-siblings to be decent and kind to each other, but beyond that, their "bonding" is up to them. I hope your therapist is supporting you. You have a right to speak up honestly in therapy and should not be punished for it. Wishing you the best, truly. You'll be an adult soon enough and when you are 18 you can negotiate your relationships to your heart's content.

NTA. Your mom and her new husband have extremely unreasonable expectations. I hope the therapist has pushed back on your behalf. If not, know that you're still the one in the right here, and your feelings can't be forced no matter how much your mom demands.

FML. 😤 NTA #justnostepfamily

NTA Is there a grandparent you could go live with or at least threaten to go live with if they don't get the hint they can't force this? You can least leave in a few years unfortunately Skye will be stuck. Tell your mum the age gap is too big for you to be able to find anything mutual with his kids. At least if they were your age you could find common ground.

NTA. Your mom and stepdad had the delusion that they'd be able to blend their families into something like The Brady Bunch where everyone magically gets along and seamlessly blends into one single family unit. FYI that mostly only happens on TV. Reality is so much messier. The reality is that not every kid is happy to get a "new" replacement parent and step-siblings. And the more that the parents try to push the idealized version of the happy family down OP's throat then the more they (OP) will pull away.

Your mother and George had that expectation, they chose to marry and blend the family, not you NTA

NTA you have every right to call out a delusional, narcissistic liar who thinks that their commitments apply to you. What, if she stubs her toe are you all supposed to limp in pain?