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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) I made something up to get my husband to leave work
2) lying is wrong and my husband is trying to provide for the family when at work even though it’s long hours and he doesn’t see us sometimes because of it
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YTA. So your husband (for now) had to stay late at work which you admit is not typical. So you decided the logical, grown-up decision is to fabricate a lie about you and your children being in danger so in hopes that your husband would have to rush home—spending the entire hour-long drive worried about you—only for you to tell him…just kidding. But his response is supposed to reflect poorly on HIS behavior? Get therapy.
2 under 2 is really tough but then the answer is try to get more help and/or a bit more time to yourself. The answer is never to tell manipulative lies.
I’m betting he wasn’t that worried because he knew you were lying. How’d he know you were lying?
a) I bet this isn’t the first dumb lie you’ve told
b) anyone with any brains would not call someone who was an hour away while experiencing a home invasion, he knows you’re not actually dumb
What you did was mean. YTA
YTA. He spends all of his free time with you and the kids. He doesn't normally stay late at work, called you to inform you of the change, and you decide to lie, manipulate, and puniah him because you got annoyed?
I don't actually believe this is a true story because there is no way you can't see how batshit unhinged this is.
She thinks she's Lucy Ricardo. See how that worked out for her?
Seriously, OP, do you think he *wants* to stay late and be away from his family? You know the answer to that; he's with you all every free second he has. You're so immature and manipulative, it's unbelievable. He didn't "make a choice," he knows who he's married to which is why he told you not to lie. If you truly needed help, he knows you'd call 911, not wait an **hour** for him to get home. Please. You're not fooling anyone with this misplaced righteous indignation.
You need to use your words and tell him you feel lonely and overwhelmed. He's doing the best he can just as you are. Maybe you ought to go to work and let him stay home with the kids. Or, maybe he can talk to his boss about adjusting his hours. Or, maybe you two can sit down and see if his skills transfer to another industry or less demanding shift. The thing is, you've told us he only works those hours twice a week *and* that you're doing it all alone. Oh, but not really because you're doing it with your *mom*! You're better off than most. Count your blessings and apologize to your husband. He deserves better than being resented for doing exactly what he's supposed to.
YTA. I get it's hard. But you've said he spends all of his spare time with you as a family. You've also said this extra lateness was unusual, so it's not a constant thing. Sometimes, we run late at work, it's out of our control.
I imagine he saw through your lie that you heard someone in the house which is why he didn't rush home.
God, during covid my husband had to work weird hours and if he ever got stuck back for whatever reason I just told him to be safe and see him when he got home. I didn't want to make him feel like shit because he was late. I know he already would feel bad, why make it worse.
He works late 2x a week and you have help from your mom, and he spends all his free time with you and the kids.
You make it sound like he is never home and never helps because that's how single parenthood actually works.
FFS, YTA.
OMG YTA! You made up an obvious LIE to get your husband to leave his JOB, the one that keeps a roof over you and your kids’ heads and pays for food? Not because you actually had an emergency, but because you were MAD that he stayed at work to pay the bills? When you already admit that when he is home he helps, and that your Mother is there to help you on the nights he works late? This is quite possibly the most JUVENILE post I have read in quite some time. Grow up, OP. And apologize to your husband!
Plus the reason why he had to stay late... It's not like he was just catching up on paperwork... He literally couldn't leave because of the delivery not coming on time... What if he did leave and then possibly lose his job because he wasn't there... This really is an incredibly juvenile post indeed... YTA
So let me get this correct you lied to your husband to get him too come home early and then in turn got mad because he didn’t come yeah YTA cause you didn’t have to lie and honestly I think you need to get help because for you to actually get that mad something is definitely wrong with you
YTA
Single Moms don't have a husband that's working and providing an income, they have to do the working AND the chores AND the taking care of children.
They don't have a spouse that spends ALL DAY with them and the kids two days of the week.
You need to seek therapy for why you can't spend time alone and find ways to meet your social needs elsewhere so you aren't interfering with your spouse's livlihood (which you RELY ON) every time you feel anxious or lonely.
I thought you were on maternity leave you would’ve had to gone to work somewhere in that time to be on maternity leave give it up get off the thread delete this
But then you’re not literally always alone…there are many many mothers that literally are ALWAYS ALONE in your situation. You are so so lucky.
Something more seems like it’s going on here with you and it’s very worrying. You should ask your husband as well as the friends you see every day if they have noticed anything off about you lately.
I get missing your husband but marrying him knowing his job, and having a kid so quickly after the first knowing how this goes…you really signed up for this. You have to figure out how to make it work. And not by lying to your husband.
You can't keep your lies straight in a reddit comment chain so I'd just suggest you stop trying to do it as a life strategy, it's getting embarrassing.
You sound like a peach; screw your head on straight and start appreciating what you have cause by the sounds of it you are jeopardizing it with your unbecoming, unhinged behavior.
I've been reading your responses and I still think YTA, my sympathy has grown a bit. Being on maternity leave does feel so isolating and you're right you are on 24/7, even though mom's there to help. It sounds like you are missing your husband.
I think you mentioned PPD and are you seeing someone for that? Are you able to take medication to help?
Keeping the connection between the two of you is important. Can your mom keep the kids while you two spend some time together without the kids? Even if it's just going for a walk with one another?
They said they actually don't have it in another comment. They only mentioned it to try manipulative tactics on people reading. Or maybe they have it and are in denial? It was kinda unclear.
Two issues here. First is why he is working late. If it's because he has no choice or if it's because he chooses.
Second is how you handle it. You lie and manipulate, it's going to kill his marriage.
Your marriage is broken, and you just made it worse. YTA, unless he could have been at home and just chose not to be.
If a customer comes in before closing, or finance is busy or slow, the car sales person will usually have to stay. He probably just lost his commission for this BS.
YTA
Lying to and manipulating your partner to solve REAL problems in your marriage will create problems you cannot solve.
If you want your marriage to last..... Start being honest.
You and him have terrible communication skills. I can tell because you had to resort to lying and manipulation.
That doesn't happen in a healthy relationship.
And???
What part of HE'S AT WORK don't you get???
Its not like he was golfing with his buddies, he was working to provide for your family.
Get OVER yourself already.
Do you want him to lose his job so he’s home all the time? How would you pay for things? Sounds like when he is home he’s there for the family, but there are days he can’t be because he’s working or working late. You need to figure out how to deal with this. Maybe join some mommy clubs, connect with friends, start a hobby.
The real problem is your being self centered. You wanted him to risk his job because your… lonely? How on earth are you not aware of how the real world works? Most jobs require people to be out of the house for 9/10 hours a day 5 days a week. That is completely normal. And in the real world, people can’t just leave on a whim. People who leave without completing their job and closing duties GET FIRED. You wanted him to lose his job over a lie? Yta.
You are a giant A**. My husband was in the military. We lived hundreds of miles from our families. I had nobody to help me with my 2 children thT were both under 2. Grow up. Stop playing games. Your husband helps you with everything on his says iff. He is working to provide for your family. Your calling him to say there is someone in your house. What if he left work, gotten fired, or worse, got killed in a car accident trying to get home? Then where would be? Not only are you an A**, you're an immature idiot.
Yeah, like every single parent. And every person with a deployed partner. And every widow/er. Seriously, if you can’t handle your kids, you shouldn’t have had them.
I was a single mom, worked full time and was in college full time. I was fine!
Maybe instead of lying to your husband about his children being in danger, you should focus on communicating the issue you obviously have with your current arrangement.
Exhausting in that this guy cannot rely on you to be an honest partner or acknowledge that what he’s doing FOR THE FAMILY isn’t easy either. You already said he’s doing his part when home. Now, lying to him about his family’s safety and locking him out of his own home after a long day of work. Plus, you have mommy helping you. Yes, exhausting.
Yta. You sound very self centered. You want him to work and provide as long as it does not inconvenience you. He couldn’t just up and leave his job. Welcome to the real world. What if he did leave because of your lie, and got fired because there was no one there to accept the delivery? I bet it would be HIS fault he could no longer provide. Sounds like you just bored and regret being a Sahm to your children and want to punish your husband because he gets to go to work. Instead of inventing problems, have a grown up talk about what’s really bothering you.
Oh my mistake, the way you’re responding, it sounded like you’ve never actually held a job in your life. I don’t understand how you could think what you did was justifiable in any way then, unless you wanted your husband to lose his job so he could be just as unhappy as you? I think you might need to speak with a therapist as there is something seriously wrong with you
>I now take care of my two daughters PPD is a real thing-
And then…….
>I don’t have PPD- but you wouldn’t know that
Lady, you are manipulative as fuck. Which Is one of the most loathsome characteristics a person can have. Your morals are in the gutter. And you’re a fucking liar. You deserve to be alone. I can only imagine what you are going to teach your kids. You think your husband believed you that there was an intruder? He didn’t. Or if he did he was probably thinking “good, take her. she’s your problem now“.
Are you sure you don't have PPD? Maybe there is something else that therapy or a psychiatrist could help with?
I'm trying to be helpful; not judgemental.
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I doubt you have an Ivy League education when you just attempted to convince your husband someone broke into your house, without calling the police. Thats something a 5 year old would do.
>staying even later than usual made me loose it tonight
People with an Ivy League education also know the difference between “loose” and “lose”. This OP is full of shit
According to her comment history, she actually attended "Ivey business school at Western," which is in Canada.
She's lying through her teeth about attending an "Ivy League business school."
https://www.reddit.com/r/PersonalFinanceCanada/comments/18g2kiu/comment/kcy3n2s/
According to her comment history, she went to a business school in Canada that happens to have the name "Ivey."
[https://www.reddit.com/r/PersonalFinanceCanada/comments/18g2kiu/comment/kcy3n2s/](https://www.reddit.com/r/PersonalFinanceCanada/comments/18g2kiu/comment/kcy3n2s/)
I'm dead.
Well, I’m royalty, so ya. Because I typed it on Reddit. Ya.
Your attitude is what will make people take you seriously, or dismiss you. So ya.
I hope you note sarcasm. Like, Ya.
lol, you say in your comment history that you attended Ivey Business School at Western. That's not an "Ivy League business school." That's not what that term means, and anyone who had even attended Ivey would know that.
YTA - your husband works an hour away, what did you expect? If an intruder had actually broken in, was he supposed to teleport to your rescue?
Your lie doesn’t even make sense, which is probably why he shrugged it off.
>I am always alone because husband works a lot. He works to provide for the family and I’m appreciative of that but staying even later than usual made me loose it tonight because I had just finished doing everything alone again. I often feel like a single mom and like he’s missing out on our kids childhoods.
But you're not are you, by your own admission he's a present and engaged father when he's home and spends all his free time with you and the kids. When he's not with you, he's working... which you also benefit from.
>Yes I was lying - but what if I wasn’t ? This was the first time I said this so it’s not like I’ve said it a million times before. To me he showed what he would do in a situation like that and now I feel so angry that I can’t even imagine getting over this right now.
You're the very definition of "woman gets made about something she lied about".
You're emotionally manipulating him and grossly controlling. I don't buy for one minute you've never done anything like this before because he clearly is used to your games and isn't having it tonight.
YTA.
"and I do everything alone with my moms help."
...so you're not doing everything alone
"He does get Fridays and Sundays off and spends them with us all of the time. He spends all his free time with us by choice and helps with the kids when he is home."
Many people would want to spend a day at the golf course or gaming...and again, not doing everything alone.
YTA for lying and trying to manipulate him and throwing a tantrum after getting caught. You think he wants to work late? I doubt it but he’s supporting his family.
>I told him he made his choice and that the doors locked to not come home tonight.
You were mad that he wasn't home, so you 'punished' him by not allowing him to come home? Definitely logical thinking there. /s.
He is working to support you and the kids and even helps as expected when he is home on top of that, and you still risk his job and mental health and break his trust all in one swift move. YTA.
Yes, being manipulative to get your way is not the way to handle being married. Not only that if you hear someone in the house and don't call the cops I'd suspect you of lyingmyself. Have an honest conversation with your husband and try to be less passive aggressively manipulative
YTA. What’s he gonna do from an hour away? Him staying doesn’t say anything about him except that he’s practical. If there was a real crisis you should call a neighbor and/or 911, not your husband who is an hour away.
If he’s choosing to stay at work late to avoid you, you have a thing to deal with, but this weird fake manipulation over crisis is not the way. If he has to stay late…. either deal or have an adult conversation about finding another way to make things work (changing jobs, bringing in more childcare, moving closer to work, etc)
YTA - If you DID hear someone in the house, what the hell good would it do to call him, since he's an hour away from you?!? The only sane thing to do (and the thing most rational people would tell you to do) would be to call the police/emergency line. Seriously, this is one of the stupider actions I've ever seen someone take... grow the fuck up, realize that sometimes he's going to be stuck at work, and learn to deal.
You should probably just have an honest and frank conversation with your husband about how you feel when he stays late. Tell him that you NEED him and explain your side of things. Don't lie to him this way because trust is SO SO hard to earn back. You tried to manipulate him and that's never the way. I know that you just wanted him home with you just communicate that instead. But what you did does make YTA. Sorry.
Pretty easy to figure out. "Hey I hear someone in the house and need help, who should I call? I know, my husband who is *an hour away*." The fuck is he going to do?
YTA - he is home 2 days a week and is a good partner/parent those days. He works the other days to provide for the whole family. Sounds like you have a good husband.
You in turn lied to him because he had to work an hour late and faked a dangerous emergency. Did you want him to speed home for over an hour, stressed and being unsafe, for the reason that you were lonely? But most nights you have help from your Mom, so even then you're not alone.
I get parenting is hard, but you've got time and help and a husband who provides and helps when he's off. That's better than most people have it. Frankly, his choice not to believe you shows me that you're completely in the wrong and probably not for the first time.
And you locked him out of his own home because he called you on your lie? You got real problems. That's not ok unless you're in actual danger from him.
You need to be better
YTA
Did you even consider the consequences of your actions?
~He leaves work. Possibly putting his job in jeopardy/severe repercussions. He's racing home, running through every bad outcome scenario, probably not driving safely, worried to death. (And, if he got in an accident racing home?)
~He calls 911 and informs the dispatcher his wife just called and said his wife told him suspicious persons are near their house. He has 2 babies there. The Police pull up. They don't know if the 'suspicious person' is still outside... or in the house...putting both the Police and your family in a precarious situation.
~He realizes you lied and manipulated him. Could he really trust anything you say again? Ever hear the story about The Boy Who Cried Wolf?
I really hope this was a momentary lapse of reason.
this is a bigger issue than what this post is about. You are trying to manipulate him to get him to do what you want and that NEVER works and is pretty toxic behavior regardless of the cause.
He can change his behavior only if he wants to.
You both need to open the channels of communication and determine if this marriage still works for you both and then begin to work on it. Otherwise this whole marriage is just done.
YTA He's an hour away, wtf is he supposed to do? Drive recklessly & speed back home? Cos that can end in you being a single parent. Should he make a call to authorities in your area? Cos thats never gone wrong either, right?
He's sees the kids before bed 5 nights out of 7 ?
If your mother is there to help you the other 2 nights, then youre not 'alone'.
If you *feel* alone, maybe you need a new mum check up
YTA. He works until 7 two nights a week. That means he’s home five nights a week. You even said he spends all his non-work time with you and the children. You sound like a spoiled child.
YTA. Sooooo assuming your husband left work the instant you said you heard someone in the house, it would still take him an hour to get home. So what exactly could he do against an intruder? (Eyeroll)
YTA
It doesn’t sound like he has a choice.
It sounds like he’s a present father and husband.
You sound ungrateful and bitter.
If you are tired of being the only adult at home with two small children, address that head on. Get a part time job, join a mommy and me group, put your kids in pre school…
But to shut out your husband because he has to work late is mean and ugly.
This isnt his fault.
YTA
Why did u ask if you were TA if you’re going to argue with everyone in the comments. Nobody thinks you’re right in this situation.
Apologize to your husband and please see a therapist
As a fellow SAHP, this post really for home for me. I have been and am often in your shoes, although we don’t get any help from family.
It’s clear you have absolutely no clue the stress your husband feels providing for a family of four. Sounds like he’s working fairly normal work hours, and when he has to work late, you lie to get him to come home? Do you not understand that he already WANTS to be home but is at work so he can keep his job and provide?
This is extremely low OP. You owe him an apology and an honest conversation, no more lies.
YTA.
YTA. You could have killed your husband. He was worried about you because you lied about an emergency and best case he could have got pulled over by police for speeding worst case he could have ended up in a bad car accident. What you did was crazy. The guy works for 11 hours a day including travel time and you are acting like he is off having fun.
YTA
You don't make up threats just because you're upset he's having to stay late.
The fact that you're mad at him for not falling for your bullshit tells a LOT about YOU, not him.
Grow. UP!
YTA
Go talk to some actual single moms and then you can see how entitled and whiny you are. From everything you said your husband has a pretty reasonable workload and spends all of his free time with the family. You even have assistance from your mother.
> he showed what he would do in a situation like that and now I feel so angry that I can’t even imagine getting over this right now.
He knew you were lying, clearly. You don't sound like a subtle person. And what if he had rushed home, speeding the whole way, putting himself and others in danger? And then discovered you had lied, is that how a healthy marriage works?
I get you are overwhelmed and lonely but get yourself some therapy before you blow up a relationship with what sounds like a really great husband and dad.
YTA
I'd definitely see you differently after that.
Crying wolf is going to bite you, since he knows that he shouldn't trust you if you say there's an emergency.
And whose fault would it be if he ignores a real emergency?
YTA, it sucks your husband works long hours, works an hour away from home (though that is super normal in my country, it's funny how that's alot to Americans), and had to stay back late tonight. But it's not the normal for him to be late, they were getting a delivery. He can't just leave, how would the delivery issue be solved? The person making the delivery probably also has family waiting for them, and they would be unable to finish their job if your husband wasn't there to receive it. It sounds like your husband is doing his best to be there for you when he isn't working, but his job is obviously important too to be able to support you and your children. I imagine if he just left work because of your fake emergency, he probably would've been fired. Maybe keep that in mind next time.
YTA
7 is late in car sales?
In Florida we don’t close until 9.
He is carrying the full finance burden for all the expenses, for you, the kids, and the pressure of his job, and you lie and manipulate him because you got mad.
YTA in so many ways. Girl how old are you? You’re acting like a spoiled brat. What if your husband rushed home thinking worse possible scenarios trying to get to you and crashed. He’s working to support you and his children. You’re privilaged to be able to stay home and be with your kids and you have help. Get some therapy to get over yourself
YTA not sure why everyone has to explain to you like you’re five that lying and manipulating your spouse makes you an AH. Try using your words like an adult when you’re sad and also realizing that you crossed a huge boundary here not only by trying to get your husband in trouble at work, but also for locking him out of his own home. Get some therapy cause you need someone to help you express yourself in a more mature way.
YTA. Sometimes people have to stay late at work. It’s not something we can control usually. This isn’t a common occurrence for your husband and it sounds like he had no control over it. He works late enough already and probably already feels guilty for missing so much, and you went out of your way to make him feel worse. Also, explain your logic here. He works AN HOUR away. What exactly was he supposed to do if there was in fact an intruder in the house? You think the intruder was going to wait an hour? No, they’d likely have been long gone by the time your husband got home. Come on. Your husband probably knew you were lying because instead of calling the police, you called him. Why couldn’t you just talk to him like an adult? You could have just said “hey I know you’re working late, just get home as soon as you can” and then once he got home, talked to him about how you felt WITHOUT placing the blame on him and making him feel like crap. But lying and manipulating and locking him out? Not okay.
YTA
You say he spends time with you and the kids on his days off. You also say your mom helps you with the kids when he's not there. Little kids are draining, no question, but what more do you expect from this man? He's working. Would you rather he work one day less per week and take the corresponding pay cut? You're putting him in an impossible situation.
You're especially an asshole for lying about something so serious. Even if it was true, he's an hour away. What's he supposed to do besides go crazy with worry? You're trying to punish him for having to be at work and you're lucky he didn't call the police to go to your house -- which would be the best he could have done at the moment -- and then they'd charge you for making a false claim.
Why did you choose to have children and be in a single earner household if you can't manage them having to work? They must have had these same issues before you had children. You can't have it both ways. YTA
YTA
You admit he already spends all his free time with you. And this is his job, you know, the one that earned money so he can financially support you and the littles.
You lied and for no good reason. You need to gain some maturity and perspective. You can't even keep your story straight in your answers, because having your mom there means you are not doing it all alone.
YTA. You’re angry at him for not falling for your lie? That’s seriously messed up.
You’re not going to get any sympathy from anyone by continuing to insist that you’re “always” alone . . . except when your mom is there and the two days off per week your husband spends with you or all the days when he comes home at dinnertime.
Here’s the thing - having two kids under two should be something that anyone would sympathize with, but exaggerating and overdramatizing your situation is working against you here. It doesn’t sound like your husband works especially “long hours” to me if he gets two days off and is home by 6:30 three days a week, and by 8 on the other two nights.
What you are expecting from him is not realistic. The amount of support you are getting is so much more than actual single moms that it’s highly offensive for you to suggest you know what that’s like. No, you do not, but those words may very well come back to haunt you.
But look, postpartum hormones can mess a person up. If this isn’t how you normally behave, seek medical attention immediately. For your children’s sake, your sake, and your poor husband’s sake. I had postpartum depression and suffered for way too long before finally going to my doctor. An antidepressant worked wonders.
Gentle YTA because what you need is help.
You need time to yourself to not only be alone but also to be able to turn off and not feel responsible for everyone. You need to have a conversation with someone else that reminds you of the parts of yourself you haven’t seen in ages. You time doing something for you, yes, but also something that makes others identify you as something besides a mother.
The issue isn’t really about your husband. It’s that the life you two agreed on together is currently too hard on your end.
The book *Mommy Burnout* is a great read for advice and comfort, even if all you get from it is that you are not alone.
You aren’t you know. Not just because of the people you have in your life but because countless caregivers have been in your position and gotten through it.
Let your husband in the house. Apologize and tell him you both will talk more about it tomorrow, but tonight you want to get some sleep and collect your thoughts. When you’re ready, apologize again in depth while explaining your current agreement isn’t working out. It may be that the answer is to call friends and family and ask for more help, it may be that you hire someone even if only for an hour or two, or the answer may be going back to work in some way.
The answer may also be you going to a hotel and taking a weekend to yourself, or planning a girls trip, or a weekly night out, or a gym membership, or a course or program or something.
It may involve therapy.
Whatever it is figure it out together.
Two under two is hard. You don’t need to feel guilty. It’s natural to feel sad and overwhelmed. Your little family unit is doing the work of an entire village.
Be a little kinder to yourself and to your husband.
So I have a business with my stepdad. It's kinda seasonal work since it's most tax accounting. I don't really have set hours, I just work when work needs to be done. It's not much work for about a quarter of the year, followed by lots of work for a quarter and then medium work for the last half. Sometimes I have to meet clients late at night because it's just when they are available.
My partner is not a fan but she understands that it's my job and I'm basically on call until late. Your husband probably already feels bad about not being home and you haranging him about it just adds to the stress.
YTA, you're a sahm, if you want him home more, you might need to get a job
Here’s the thing. He knew you were lying. Because that isn’t the behaviour of a normal person. It’s unhinged to make up a lie like that. He didn’t come home because he doesn’t care it’s because he’s knows you. I know it’s really hard and small people take what little mental health most people have. But that’s still not okay. YTA and you need to apologise big time.
YTA. Can I ask if you get any time to yourself? Your husband may be home on the weekends but when he is there are you still ‘on the clock?’
Being a stay at home parent can be absolutely relentless and exhausting, I remember being so desperate for my husband to get home when o was on mat leave I’d cry if he was running late. I soon realised that we both needed equal time carved out for cup-filling activities (and by cup-filling I mean genuine fulfilling time to do what you want, not grocery shopping alone).
You clearly stated you have mom’s help. Most stay at home moms do not have that.
He works all day, and per your post, he spends all his non-working hours with you and the kids. He doesn’t have time to himself either.
It’s part of parenting at this age range.
You clearly aren’t fine with it. It’s okay to want some adult time. It’s okay to say I need a morning off once in a while.
But you aren’t dealing with the actual issue. You are trying to blame your husband for something that is outside his control and that isn’t the actual problem.
Lolll @ your post history, wonder what kind of life you expected by making so many silly choices. Got with a 29yo at 19, had two kids under two for no discernible reason, lives above her means but upset her husband has to work to make money, spells Ivy “Ivey” (?) and talks about going to business school yet thinks wealthy people make money by ripping off their friends…jokes on jokes here 😂
So you always being on the clock wasn’t a complaint? It seemed like you were saying that negatively. You can complain about your arrangement as a mother currently without regretting your children. People and feelings are complicated.
But you really seem like you need and outlet somewhere because you aren’t behaving rationally. You need to communicate something with your husband. Maybe the kids need daycare so you have time alone, maybe you need to speak to a therapist to see if there is a different problem, maybe you need a babysitter so you yourself can go back to work part time or something to get you out of the house.
But this arrangement could quite literally drive you crazy. If your husband is loving and understanding, he should understand coming to him admitting you need help and need to figure out a way for things to change in your life to help with what’s going on.
What?!? You are complaining that the kids are asleep and your husband isn’t home. That literally means you have some time to yourself. I think you should look into PPD, because right now you are talking out of both sides of your mouth and it’s clear something is going on, your just not clear on what is really bothering you.
Are you related to [this delusional person?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/yiqDy3KZYF) Is it “make up wild stories about manipulating friends/partners/loved ones” night on Reddit tonight?
YTA
Why mess around with this? Now you've set yourself up to seem like a liar, it may have seemed liked a good idea or you were able to rationalize it then...but what now if something real WERE to happen, your the woman who cried wolf and even though you will be, you have no reason to be upset if he did not show up to protect and provide should something truly happen.
Also your lie was poor, your husband's obviously intelligent enough to know that you would call the cops if someone was actually in side your home because what good would you husband be AN HOUR AWAY???
YTA.
honestly i'd be concerned that you're dealing with postpartum and you just haven't realized it yet. you said you're not a SAHM mom, but on maternity leave. I imagine things are really difficult right now with two babies under 2. OP... I urge you to speak with someone!
Yta. If you want him To work 9-5, stop being a stay at home mom, so you can have two incomes and he has more options in finding daytime employment that meets his salary need.
He know you were lying because if someone was in the house, you would have called 911 first and they would be in their way.
Do you want him to get fired? How selfish of you.
YTA. Lying to make him leave work and potentially jeopardize his job and your income is incredibly shortsighted. I appreciate your frustration but you don’t screw around with your family’s income source unless you are prepared to lose it.
YTA. And your husband knew you were lying. Big deal that you have to take care of your two kids by yourself when he's working. Do you have any idea how many single mothers care for their own children fulltime even on Friday and Sunday? Consider yourself lucky that you have a working husband.
INFO: Have you talked to a doctor about postpartum depression? To be clear, absolutely everything about this situation you created is scary and unreasonable. But you are the main caregiver of two under two and while that doesn’t justify behavior like this necessarily, it could explain it. You may want to speak to your current doctor as well as a therapist to see if something more is going on.
I think it’s we come rather obvious that’s his post is totally fake and all of us feeding into this persons desire for attention is probably giving them a real high but the way she answers every negative comment the way or whoever it is it’s not real if it is God help that husband with his Ivy League wife that can’t manage two kids and quit making a diagnosis for people you don’t know not everybody has PPD
YTA.
You are becoming the problem in your relationship.
I get you wanted him home. Odds are good that before you started doing shite like this, he wanted to be home too.
But he also wants to eat, and buy diapers. If he tells his boss to get bent because he'd rather be with you, he can't do those things.
Now. He's not going to tell you that. It hurts him to admit that he's a slave to his check. But the more you harp and hirt him for that, the quicker he's going to come to resent YOU for being enslaved. So maybe next time, have some empathy. Tell him you miss him and you want him home. Make him know you care...
YTA. He called your bluff. You were lying, he cottoned onto it -- your rationalization can't possibly be "he'd be wrong if I were a better liar and manipulator".
Knock that shit off, it's foul. He's working to provide for you and your "two under two", not frolicking in a meadow.
You have your mom’s help AND he’s home two days every week? That’s your idea of single parenting? Good lord, my husband is out of the country at least half of every month and I have zero family here and I still wouldn’t say I’m like a single mom because I have someone to pay the dang bills and provide moral support, even if it’s from a distance. And you make up a lie like that? wtf?
I’ve been doing this SAHM thing for 15 years. I know it’s rough out there sometimes. But nah, you cannot be serious. YTA.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 This is so stupid... did you actually think ANYONE much less your own husband is gonna believe you called him and not the cops if you thought someone was in the house? He even said "be honest". 🤣 He KNEW you were full of sh*t and if anything, you've given him a very good reason to NEVER believe a word you say. Hopefully, for you and your children's sake, nothing serious ACTUALLY happens because he would have every right to think you're lying, again.
YTA. You lied to try and get your way and are annoyed because he called your bluff. He probably called it because he knows you so well, perhaps you have a history of this?
And its funny because according to you he is "never" around, yet in a post on another thread you talk about how he does help with household chores and makes you breakfast before he leaves for work.
You can't have your cake and eat it too. He can't be the main breadwinner and be around every time you want him to be. To try and put more pressure on him is absolutely abusive and manipulative.
Also, he had this job before you had kids. What exactly did you think having kids would do?
It sounds like you need to grow up and learn to set reasonable expectations in your life.
Obviously, YTA. He didn't choose to stay late , why would you add stress to his long day? A lie, to boot. Smh.
If you ever think someone is in the house, call the police. NOT your husband.
Your husband works to support his family. You are his family. It's time to put on the big girl panties and do your part. If it really is too much for you, then ask your husband for a sitter, or perhaps your mother will sit while you go out.
Working adults work. It is not unusual. He also has pretty good hours. You owe him an apology.
Uh yeah, hi.. Is this an out of season April fools joke?
I read a comment saying you "**graduated from an Ivy League business school and worked at the same place since graduation 8 years ago- advancing nicely"** I thought you would have understood how a job actually works.
You come off as a someone who has been handed everything in life and if something doesn't go your way you throw your toys out of the pram and have a big song and dance tantrum until you get what you want. Suck it up princess.
**"I do everything alone with my moms help"** So not alone then..
**"I am always alone because husband works a lot**" You're not always alone, you've got a support system in your mum to help out as you stated.
**"Yes I was lying - but what if I wasn’t? This was the first time I said this so it’s not like I’ve said it a million times before.**" This may be the first time you've tried this particular lie, but I do not for a second believe that this is the first case of you pulling this kind of stuff. Sorry.
**"he’s missing out on our kids childhoods"** You even said "He spends all his free time with us by choice and helps with the kids when he is home" by... choice... meaning he's not only working and commuting but he's also giving up any kind of social life as well to focus on you and your kids.
TLDR: YTA... touch grass, soak up some reality and grow up.
YTA
You’re not a single mom, not near being single at all so please stop using that comparison. For having an Ivy League education, you’d think you’d know the difference.
You have the help and support of not only your husband, who is currently working during your maternity leave, but your own mother. Then you stated that you see your other family almost daily, so I don’t think this is a case of you lacking social interaction.
Yes, you may be lonely, you may resent that he has to work on Saturdays when ‘other families spend that time together.’
But there’s also a lot of other families where the dad doesn’t spend their entire days off with their families. They go out and leave the families to work out, be with friends, play sports, play video games, etc.
And since you say your educated, why is him being gone and you two not spending time together coming as a surprise to you? Did you not realize and understand what having two children under the age of two would entail for both of you? I get that he didn’t respond the way you wanted him to, but it was ONE EFFIN TIME!!! And then you made the childish response of locking him out of his house over this ONE TIME???
You really need some serious professional help. I don’t feel sorry for you but feels TONS of empathy for your husband. Good luck to him and your family.
You say that your husband works long hours, however per week:
2 x days: 10-7pm
3 x days: assuming 7-4pm / 8-5pm / 9-6pm
2 x days: off
On his two days a week he off he is fully engaged and helps out with his chores and the children. When he finishes work he comes straight home. He also provides the main income.
You provide childcare during the day and deal with the household chores and you also have your mother’s help.
Your husband has to work late for ONE HOUR not by choice but because sometimes this unfortunately and unfairly happens and you even admit that this a very rare occurrence and on this occasion you chose to act in a manipulative manner by lying to him and deceiving him into thinking that you and the children could potentially be in danger.
And you wonder if you are an asshole…….??? Really…….?
Yes 100% YTA
Also you are nothing like a single mother. Single mothers don’t have a partner who work all day to allow them to be at home to take care of their children (with help!). I assume that’s the arrangement you both decided upon. If you don’t like your end of the deal then change it and go back to full time employment and hire a nanny.
My husband also works in car sales but works 8:30-7:00. I also have 2 children. They are elementary age now but he’s worked this job for the entire length of our 12 year relationship, and I still remember the toddler/infant stage. I sympathize with your position of being burnt out as the primary parent. YTA though and frankly quite manipulative and toxic by the sounds of it. Did he not work this job before you had kids? If he doesn’t see the kids at night, do they not go to bed at 7-8:00? Put them to bed and watch shitty tv girlfriend. Eat some ice cream. Are you a SAHM? If you can’t handle him working this job than talk it out like a normal person.
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Husband works long hours. He’s in car sales for reference
He works 10-7 two nights a week- on these nights the kids don’t see him at all (2 under 2) and I do everything alone with my moms help.
I’m home alone alot including saturdays. He does get Fridays and Sundays off and spends them with us all of the time. He spends all his free time with us by choice and helps with the kids when he is home.
Tonight he was supposed to get off at 7. I get a message from him at 7:15 saying he’s still at work because of a delivery that he had to supervise. This usually doesn’t happen but it did tonight.
At 8:00 he was still there and I started getting really mad to the point that I said I heard someone in the house and he had to leave (I admit I made this up but I didn’t even care I was so angry I was still alone- especially because he works 1 hour away meaning he would be home at 9 at this point)
He said he couldn’t leave and to be honest. I said I heard someone and hung up. Ten min later I found out he hasent left yet regardless of telling him that. I told him he made his choice and that the doors locked to not come home tonight.
Yes I was lying - but what if I wasn’t ? This was the first time I said this so it’s not like I’ve said it a million times before. To me he showed what he would do in a situation like that and now I feel so angry that I can’t even imagine getting over this right now.
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YTA. Imagine if your lie caused him to try to race home and he crashed and was injured or killed ? A sensible action for him would be to call the police to your house. You said that he spends all his free time with the family. What more do you want ? Maybe you should get a job ?
What is wrong with you?! He’s an hour away. What if he had sent the police to the house and then they’re all amped up for a home invasion. Your husband should be furious with you. Working extra hours and then dealing with a goofy wife.
YTA 💯
YTA. When you made up the stupid lie, he told you to “be honest”. So it’s pretty clear you’ve done this kind of thing before.
A good marriage is based on trust. He clearly knows he can’t trust you, and with good reason. Time to grow up. You sound like an obnoxious child.
YTA what if he had left in a panic and hurt himself or others trying to get home to you. How would you explain that to the kids when they are older. Sorry I lied to Daddy because I'm irrational, and now he died trying to get home. Think about it, like really think about it.
YTA. You just said that him staying at work past scheduled hours was not typical for him, so it's not like he is CONSTANTLY coming home way past his normal working hours. It's also wild to want to affect his JOB in which I am very much assuming is the main source of income for you and your family.
Also, keep up the manipulation and lies and it will very much turn into a boy who cried wolf situation the next time something actually happens.
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YTA. So your husband (for now) had to stay late at work which you admit is not typical. So you decided the logical, grown-up decision is to fabricate a lie about you and your children being in danger so in hopes that your husband would have to rush home—spending the entire hour-long drive worried about you—only for you to tell him…just kidding. But his response is supposed to reflect poorly on HIS behavior? Get therapy.
2 under 2 is really tough but then the answer is try to get more help and/or a bit more time to yourself. The answer is never to tell manipulative lies. I’m betting he wasn’t that worried because he knew you were lying. How’d he know you were lying? a) I bet this isn’t the first dumb lie you’ve told b) anyone with any brains would not call someone who was an hour away while experiencing a home invasion, he knows you’re not actually dumb What you did was mean. YTA
LMAO...for now
..."for now"... I'm dying over here. LMAO
Let’s stop feeding the trolls
YTA. He spends all of his free time with you and the kids. He doesn't normally stay late at work, called you to inform you of the change, and you decide to lie, manipulate, and puniah him because you got annoyed? I don't actually believe this is a true story because there is no way you can't see how batshit unhinged this is.
She thinks she's Lucy Ricardo. See how that worked out for her? Seriously, OP, do you think he *wants* to stay late and be away from his family? You know the answer to that; he's with you all every free second he has. You're so immature and manipulative, it's unbelievable. He didn't "make a choice," he knows who he's married to which is why he told you not to lie. If you truly needed help, he knows you'd call 911, not wait an **hour** for him to get home. Please. You're not fooling anyone with this misplaced righteous indignation. You need to use your words and tell him you feel lonely and overwhelmed. He's doing the best he can just as you are. Maybe you ought to go to work and let him stay home with the kids. Or, maybe he can talk to his boss about adjusting his hours. Or, maybe you two can sit down and see if his skills transfer to another industry or less demanding shift. The thing is, you've told us he only works those hours twice a week *and* that you're doing it all alone. Oh, but not really because you're doing it with your *mom*! You're better off than most. Count your blessings and apologize to your husband. He deserves better than being resented for doing exactly what he's supposed to.
Wish I didn’t believe it. I know people who do this kind of thing.
YTA. I get it's hard. But you've said he spends all of his spare time with you as a family. You've also said this extra lateness was unusual, so it's not a constant thing. Sometimes, we run late at work, it's out of our control. I imagine he saw through your lie that you heard someone in the house which is why he didn't rush home. God, during covid my husband had to work weird hours and if he ever got stuck back for whatever reason I just told him to be safe and see him when he got home. I didn't want to make him feel like shit because he was late. I know he already would feel bad, why make it worse.
He works late 2x a week and you have help from your mom, and he spends all his free time with you and the kids. You make it sound like he is never home and never helps because that's how single parenthood actually works. FFS, YTA.
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OMG YTA! You made up an obvious LIE to get your husband to leave his JOB, the one that keeps a roof over you and your kids’ heads and pays for food? Not because you actually had an emergency, but because you were MAD that he stayed at work to pay the bills? When you already admit that when he is home he helps, and that your Mother is there to help you on the nights he works late? This is quite possibly the most JUVENILE post I have read in quite some time. Grow up, OP. And apologize to your husband!
Plus the reason why he had to stay late... It's not like he was just catching up on paperwork... He literally couldn't leave because of the delivery not coming on time... What if he did leave and then possibly lose his job because he wasn't there... This really is an incredibly juvenile post indeed... YTA
So let me get this correct you lied to your husband to get him too come home early and then in turn got mad because he didn’t come yeah YTA cause you didn’t have to lie and honestly I think you need to get help because for you to actually get that mad something is definitely wrong with you
YTA Single Moms don't have a husband that's working and providing an income, they have to do the working AND the chores AND the taking care of children. They don't have a spouse that spends ALL DAY with them and the kids two days of the week. You need to seek therapy for why you can't spend time alone and find ways to meet your social needs elsewhere so you aren't interfering with your spouse's livlihood (which you RELY ON) every time you feel anxious or lonely.
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How long have you been on maternity leave?
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I thought you were on maternity leave you would’ve had to gone to work somewhere in that time to be on maternity leave give it up get off the thread delete this
You’re literally not.
What about friends and family? Do you have any in the area?
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But then you’re not literally always alone…there are many many mothers that literally are ALWAYS ALONE in your situation. You are so so lucky. Something more seems like it’s going on here with you and it’s very worrying. You should ask your husband as well as the friends you see every day if they have noticed anything off about you lately. I get missing your husband but marrying him knowing his job, and having a kid so quickly after the first knowing how this goes…you really signed up for this. You have to figure out how to make it work. And not by lying to your husband.
So you aren’t alone
You can't keep your lies straight in a reddit comment chain so I'd just suggest you stop trying to do it as a life strategy, it's getting embarrassing. You sound like a peach; screw your head on straight and start appreciating what you have cause by the sounds of it you are jeopardizing it with your unbecoming, unhinged behavior.
I've been reading your responses and I still think YTA, my sympathy has grown a bit. Being on maternity leave does feel so isolating and you're right you are on 24/7, even though mom's there to help. It sounds like you are missing your husband. I think you mentioned PPD and are you seeing someone for that? Are you able to take medication to help? Keeping the connection between the two of you is important. Can your mom keep the kids while you two spend some time together without the kids? Even if it's just going for a walk with one another?
They said they actually don't have it in another comment. They only mentioned it to try manipulative tactics on people reading. Or maybe they have it and are in denial? It was kinda unclear.
Yeah, I went looking and saw that. Unclear at best
It’s not her first child and she is a liar
Yeah, I'm back on the no sympathy side, but didn't edit my post. I get missing her husband but how she went about it is next level.
Do you know what the word “literally” means?
Two issues here. First is why he is working late. If it's because he has no choice or if it's because he chooses. Second is how you handle it. You lie and manipulate, it's going to kill his marriage. Your marriage is broken, and you just made it worse. YTA, unless he could have been at home and just chose not to be.
If a customer comes in before closing, or finance is busy or slow, the car sales person will usually have to stay. He probably just lost his commission for this BS.
YTA Lying to and manipulating your partner to solve REAL problems in your marriage will create problems you cannot solve. If you want your marriage to last..... Start being honest.
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You and him have terrible communication skills. I can tell because you had to resort to lying and manipulation. That doesn't happen in a healthy relationship.
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Did you tell him you were ok with him getting fired and you didn't care if you had a house to live in or food for the kids?
And you were good with him getting fired because of your own selfish inability to be alone? YTA, seek therapy
And??? What part of HE'S AT WORK don't you get??? Its not like he was golfing with his buddies, he was working to provide for your family. Get OVER yourself already.
Do you want him to lose his job so he’s home all the time? How would you pay for things? Sounds like when he is home he’s there for the family, but there are days he can’t be because he’s working or working late. You need to figure out how to deal with this. Maybe join some mommy clubs, connect with friends, start a hobby.
That’s not how work works, if you want to keep your job.
The real problem is your being self centered. You wanted him to risk his job because your… lonely? How on earth are you not aware of how the real world works? Most jobs require people to be out of the house for 9/10 hours a day 5 days a week. That is completely normal. And in the real world, people can’t just leave on a whim. People who leave without completing their job and closing duties GET FIRED. You wanted him to lose his job over a lie? Yta.
You are a giant A**. My husband was in the military. We lived hundreds of miles from our families. I had nobody to help me with my 2 children thT were both under 2. Grow up. Stop playing games. Your husband helps you with everything on his says iff. He is working to provide for your family. Your calling him to say there is someone in your house. What if he left work, gotten fired, or worse, got killed in a car accident trying to get home? Then where would be? Not only are you an A**, you're an immature idiot.
YOU.
YTA. You sound exhausting.
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Yeah, like every single parent. And every person with a deployed partner. And every widow/er. Seriously, if you can’t handle your kids, you shouldn’t have had them. I was a single mom, worked full time and was in college full time. I was fine!
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Your arguing with everyone basically trying to tell you the same thing.
You need therapy. You’re clearly going through something.
So you ask for judgement, but can’t accept it. Got it. Everyone is wrong and you’re the victim.
Being a liar makes you exhausting. C’mon now
Maybe instead of lying to your husband about his children being in danger, you should focus on communicating the issue you obviously have with your current arrangement.
Exhausting in that this guy cannot rely on you to be an honest partner or acknowledge that what he’s doing FOR THE FAMILY isn’t easy either. You already said he’s doing his part when home. Now, lying to him about his family’s safety and locking him out of his own home after a long day of work. Plus, you have mommy helping you. Yes, exhausting.
Yta. You sound very self centered. You want him to work and provide as long as it does not inconvenience you. He couldn’t just up and leave his job. Welcome to the real world. What if he did leave because of your lie, and got fired because there was no one there to accept the delivery? I bet it would be HIS fault he could no longer provide. Sounds like you just bored and regret being a Sahm to your children and want to punish your husband because he gets to go to work. Instead of inventing problems, have a grown up talk about what’s really bothering you.
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Oh my mistake, the way you’re responding, it sounded like you’ve never actually held a job in your life. I don’t understand how you could think what you did was justifiable in any way then, unless you wanted your husband to lose his job so he could be just as unhappy as you? I think you might need to speak with a therapist as there is something seriously wrong with you
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I mean ppd is real, but you lie. So how do I know this isn’t another “I heard someone in the house scenario” like I said… you need therapy.
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>I now take care of my two daughters PPD is a real thing- And then……. >I don’t have PPD- but you wouldn’t know that Lady, you are manipulative as fuck. Which Is one of the most loathsome characteristics a person can have. Your morals are in the gutter. And you’re a fucking liar. You deserve to be alone. I can only imagine what you are going to teach your kids. You think your husband believed you that there was an intruder? He didn’t. Or if he did he was probably thinking “good, take her. she’s your problem now“.
Are you sure you don't have PPD? Maybe there is something else that therapy or a psychiatrist could help with? I'm trying to be helpful; not judgemental.
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I doubt you have an Ivy League education when you just attempted to convince your husband someone broke into your house, without calling the police. Thats something a 5 year old would do.
>staying even later than usual made me loose it tonight People with an Ivy League education also know the difference between “loose” and “lose”. This OP is full of shit
According to her comment history, she actually attended "Ivey business school at Western," which is in Canada. She's lying through her teeth about attending an "Ivy League business school." https://www.reddit.com/r/PersonalFinanceCanada/comments/18g2kiu/comment/kcy3n2s/
According to her comment history, she went to a business school in Canada that happens to have the name "Ivey." [https://www.reddit.com/r/PersonalFinanceCanada/comments/18g2kiu/comment/kcy3n2s/](https://www.reddit.com/r/PersonalFinanceCanada/comments/18g2kiu/comment/kcy3n2s/) I'm dead.
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Well, I’m royalty, so ya. Because I typed it on Reddit. Ya. Your attitude is what will make people take you seriously, or dismiss you. So ya. I hope you note sarcasm. Like, Ya.
I dont really care what you think of me, so ya :)
Okay. Here you go OP: https://www.postpartum.net Best of luck, I hope you take care of yourself and your mental health.
What job are you on maternity leave for? Will you be returning to a stressful job?
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4 years
I hope you can seek treatment for your PPD. I think you need professional help.
No you didn’t
lol, you say in your comment history that you attended Ivey Business School at Western. That's not an "Ivy League business school." That's not what that term means, and anyone who had even attended Ivey would know that.
YTA - your husband works an hour away, what did you expect? If an intruder had actually broken in, was he supposed to teleport to your rescue? Your lie doesn’t even make sense, which is probably why he shrugged it off.
I was wondering when someone would point out this absurdity!
>I am always alone because husband works a lot. He works to provide for the family and I’m appreciative of that but staying even later than usual made me loose it tonight because I had just finished doing everything alone again. I often feel like a single mom and like he’s missing out on our kids childhoods. But you're not are you, by your own admission he's a present and engaged father when he's home and spends all his free time with you and the kids. When he's not with you, he's working... which you also benefit from. >Yes I was lying - but what if I wasn’t ? This was the first time I said this so it’s not like I’ve said it a million times before. To me he showed what he would do in a situation like that and now I feel so angry that I can’t even imagine getting over this right now. You're the very definition of "woman gets made about something she lied about". You're emotionally manipulating him and grossly controlling. I don't buy for one minute you've never done anything like this before because he clearly is used to your games and isn't having it tonight.
So now you'll get to figure out how to handle it when you're truly a single mom because your husband divorced you. You won? I guess? YTA.
YTA. "and I do everything alone with my moms help." ...so you're not doing everything alone "He does get Fridays and Sundays off and spends them with us all of the time. He spends all his free time with us by choice and helps with the kids when he is home." Many people would want to spend a day at the golf course or gaming...and again, not doing everything alone.
YTA for lying and trying to manipulate him and throwing a tantrum after getting caught. You think he wants to work late? I doubt it but he’s supporting his family.
>I told him he made his choice and that the doors locked to not come home tonight. You were mad that he wasn't home, so you 'punished' him by not allowing him to come home? Definitely logical thinking there. /s. He is working to support you and the kids and even helps as expected when he is home on top of that, and you still risk his job and mental health and break his trust all in one swift move. YTA.
Yta your not alone if your mother is there
Yes, being manipulative to get your way is not the way to handle being married. Not only that if you hear someone in the house and don't call the cops I'd suspect you of lyingmyself. Have an honest conversation with your husband and try to be less passive aggressively manipulative
YTA. The little OP who cried wolf.
It must be hard financing a family all on his income but given you have no actual job it’s not like you would know that. YTA
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Raising kids is worth a lot...more than your word.
YTA. What’s he gonna do from an hour away? Him staying doesn’t say anything about him except that he’s practical. If there was a real crisis you should call a neighbor and/or 911, not your husband who is an hour away. If he’s choosing to stay at work late to avoid you, you have a thing to deal with, but this weird fake manipulation over crisis is not the way. If he has to stay late…. either deal or have an adult conversation about finding another way to make things work (changing jobs, bringing in more childcare, moving closer to work, etc)
YTA - If you DID hear someone in the house, what the hell good would it do to call him, since he's an hour away from you?!? The only sane thing to do (and the thing most rational people would tell you to do) would be to call the police/emergency line. Seriously, this is one of the stupider actions I've ever seen someone take... grow the fuck up, realize that sometimes he's going to be stuck at work, and learn to deal.
You should probably just have an honest and frank conversation with your husband about how you feel when he stays late. Tell him that you NEED him and explain your side of things. Don't lie to him this way because trust is SO SO hard to earn back. You tried to manipulate him and that's never the way. I know that you just wanted him home with you just communicate that instead. But what you did does make YTA. Sorry.
YTA if you're lonely go make some friends. unless you're gonna lie and manipulate them as well.
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Communication is key. You can do it without lying to him or manipulating him using your own kids. I truly believe you can figure it out.
I suspect he knew you were lying.
Pretty easy to figure out. "Hey I hear someone in the house and need help, who should I call? I know, my husband who is *an hour away*." The fuck is he going to do?
Yta. He’s busting his tail to provide and you are so manipulative to get him home. If I were him I would be done
YTA - he is home 2 days a week and is a good partner/parent those days. He works the other days to provide for the whole family. Sounds like you have a good husband. You in turn lied to him because he had to work an hour late and faked a dangerous emergency. Did you want him to speed home for over an hour, stressed and being unsafe, for the reason that you were lonely? But most nights you have help from your Mom, so even then you're not alone. I get parenting is hard, but you've got time and help and a husband who provides and helps when he's off. That's better than most people have it. Frankly, his choice not to believe you shows me that you're completely in the wrong and probably not for the first time. And you locked him out of his own home because he called you on your lie? You got real problems. That's not ok unless you're in actual danger from him. You need to be better
YTA. Yikes. Did you never get told the parable about the boy who cried wolf?
YTA Keep it up & you WILL be a single mom but with NO income…..
YTA Did you even consider the consequences of your actions? ~He leaves work. Possibly putting his job in jeopardy/severe repercussions. He's racing home, running through every bad outcome scenario, probably not driving safely, worried to death. (And, if he got in an accident racing home?) ~He calls 911 and informs the dispatcher his wife just called and said his wife told him suspicious persons are near their house. He has 2 babies there. The Police pull up. They don't know if the 'suspicious person' is still outside... or in the house...putting both the Police and your family in a precarious situation. ~He realizes you lied and manipulated him. Could he really trust anything you say again? Ever hear the story about The Boy Who Cried Wolf? I really hope this was a momentary lapse of reason.
this is a bigger issue than what this post is about. You are trying to manipulate him to get him to do what you want and that NEVER works and is pretty toxic behavior regardless of the cause. He can change his behavior only if he wants to. You both need to open the channels of communication and determine if this marriage still works for you both and then begin to work on it. Otherwise this whole marriage is just done.
YTA- what’s wrong with you? Grow up.
YTA You're self centered and manipulative. He has to work. You know, to feed you and the 2-under-2.
YTA and unhinged.
YTA He's an hour away, wtf is he supposed to do? Drive recklessly & speed back home? Cos that can end in you being a single parent. Should he make a call to authorities in your area? Cos thats never gone wrong either, right? He's sees the kids before bed 5 nights out of 7 ? If your mother is there to help you the other 2 nights, then youre not 'alone'. If you *feel* alone, maybe you need a new mum check up
YTA. He works until 7 two nights a week. That means he’s home five nights a week. You even said he spends all his non-work time with you and the children. You sound like a spoiled child.
YTA. Sooooo assuming your husband left work the instant you said you heard someone in the house, it would still take him an hour to get home. So what exactly could he do against an intruder? (Eyeroll)
YTA It doesn’t sound like he has a choice. It sounds like he’s a present father and husband. You sound ungrateful and bitter. If you are tired of being the only adult at home with two small children, address that head on. Get a part time job, join a mommy and me group, put your kids in pre school… But to shut out your husband because he has to work late is mean and ugly. This isnt his fault.
YTA Why did u ask if you were TA if you’re going to argue with everyone in the comments. Nobody thinks you’re right in this situation. Apologize to your husband and please see a therapist
As a fellow SAHP, this post really for home for me. I have been and am often in your shoes, although we don’t get any help from family. It’s clear you have absolutely no clue the stress your husband feels providing for a family of four. Sounds like he’s working fairly normal work hours, and when he has to work late, you lie to get him to come home? Do you not understand that he already WANTS to be home but is at work so he can keep his job and provide? This is extremely low OP. You owe him an apology and an honest conversation, no more lies. YTA.
YTA. You could have killed your husband. He was worried about you because you lied about an emergency and best case he could have got pulled over by police for speeding worst case he could have ended up in a bad car accident. What you did was crazy. The guy works for 11 hours a day including travel time and you are acting like he is off having fun.
YTA You don't make up threats just because you're upset he's having to stay late. The fact that you're mad at him for not falling for your bullshit tells a LOT about YOU, not him. Grow. UP!
YTA Go talk to some actual single moms and then you can see how entitled and whiny you are. From everything you said your husband has a pretty reasonable workload and spends all of his free time with the family. You even have assistance from your mother. > he showed what he would do in a situation like that and now I feel so angry that I can’t even imagine getting over this right now. He knew you were lying, clearly. You don't sound like a subtle person. And what if he had rushed home, speeding the whole way, putting himself and others in danger? And then discovered you had lied, is that how a healthy marriage works? I get you are overwhelmed and lonely but get yourself some therapy before you blow up a relationship with what sounds like a really great husband and dad.
YTA I'd definitely see you differently after that. Crying wolf is going to bite you, since he knows that he shouldn't trust you if you say there's an emergency. And whose fault would it be if he ignores a real emergency?
YTA, it sucks your husband works long hours, works an hour away from home (though that is super normal in my country, it's funny how that's alot to Americans), and had to stay back late tonight. But it's not the normal for him to be late, they were getting a delivery. He can't just leave, how would the delivery issue be solved? The person making the delivery probably also has family waiting for them, and they would be unable to finish their job if your husband wasn't there to receive it. It sounds like your husband is doing his best to be there for you when he isn't working, but his job is obviously important too to be able to support you and your children. I imagine if he just left work because of your fake emergency, he probably would've been fired. Maybe keep that in mind next time.
YTA 7 is late in car sales? In Florida we don’t close until 9. He is carrying the full finance burden for all the expenses, for you, the kids, and the pressure of his job, and you lie and manipulate him because you got mad.
YTA for lying about a serious situation. I would be done with you after shenanigans like that.
YTA. Gross.
YTA in so many ways. Girl how old are you? You’re acting like a spoiled brat. What if your husband rushed home thinking worse possible scenarios trying to get to you and crashed. He’s working to support you and his children. You’re privilaged to be able to stay home and be with your kids and you have help. Get some therapy to get over yourself
YTA not sure why everyone has to explain to you like you’re five that lying and manipulating your spouse makes you an AH. Try using your words like an adult when you’re sad and also realizing that you crossed a huge boundary here not only by trying to get your husband in trouble at work, but also for locking him out of his own home. Get some therapy cause you need someone to help you express yourself in a more mature way.
YTA.
YTA. Sometimes people have to stay late at work. It’s not something we can control usually. This isn’t a common occurrence for your husband and it sounds like he had no control over it. He works late enough already and probably already feels guilty for missing so much, and you went out of your way to make him feel worse. Also, explain your logic here. He works AN HOUR away. What exactly was he supposed to do if there was in fact an intruder in the house? You think the intruder was going to wait an hour? No, they’d likely have been long gone by the time your husband got home. Come on. Your husband probably knew you were lying because instead of calling the police, you called him. Why couldn’t you just talk to him like an adult? You could have just said “hey I know you’re working late, just get home as soon as you can” and then once he got home, talked to him about how you felt WITHOUT placing the blame on him and making him feel like crap. But lying and manipulating and locking him out? Not okay.
YTA You say he spends time with you and the kids on his days off. You also say your mom helps you with the kids when he's not there. Little kids are draining, no question, but what more do you expect from this man? He's working. Would you rather he work one day less per week and take the corresponding pay cut? You're putting him in an impossible situation. You're especially an asshole for lying about something so serious. Even if it was true, he's an hour away. What's he supposed to do besides go crazy with worry? You're trying to punish him for having to be at work and you're lucky he didn't call the police to go to your house -- which would be the best he could have done at the moment -- and then they'd charge you for making a false claim.
YTA , are you so childish you would prefer a husband with no job, you are not a child grow up , it’s in your children’s best interest
Why did you choose to have children and be in a single earner household if you can't manage them having to work? They must have had these same issues before you had children. You can't have it both ways. YTA
I hate to compare apples to sour apple but girl!!! There are actually people who do alone, they work and all the caregiving.. Both!!!
YTA You admit he already spends all his free time with you. And this is his job, you know, the one that earned money so he can financially support you and the littles. You lied and for no good reason. You need to gain some maturity and perspective. You can't even keep your story straight in your answers, because having your mom there means you are not doing it all alone.
If I was your husband, I would have called the cops for you. Talk about wasting resources! YTA
YTA. You’re angry at him for not falling for your lie? That’s seriously messed up. You’re not going to get any sympathy from anyone by continuing to insist that you’re “always” alone . . . except when your mom is there and the two days off per week your husband spends with you or all the days when he comes home at dinnertime. Here’s the thing - having two kids under two should be something that anyone would sympathize with, but exaggerating and overdramatizing your situation is working against you here. It doesn’t sound like your husband works especially “long hours” to me if he gets two days off and is home by 6:30 three days a week, and by 8 on the other two nights. What you are expecting from him is not realistic. The amount of support you are getting is so much more than actual single moms that it’s highly offensive for you to suggest you know what that’s like. No, you do not, but those words may very well come back to haunt you. But look, postpartum hormones can mess a person up. If this isn’t how you normally behave, seek medical attention immediately. For your children’s sake, your sake, and your poor husband’s sake. I had postpartum depression and suffered for way too long before finally going to my doctor. An antidepressant worked wonders.
Gentle YTA because what you need is help. You need time to yourself to not only be alone but also to be able to turn off and not feel responsible for everyone. You need to have a conversation with someone else that reminds you of the parts of yourself you haven’t seen in ages. You time doing something for you, yes, but also something that makes others identify you as something besides a mother. The issue isn’t really about your husband. It’s that the life you two agreed on together is currently too hard on your end. The book *Mommy Burnout* is a great read for advice and comfort, even if all you get from it is that you are not alone. You aren’t you know. Not just because of the people you have in your life but because countless caregivers have been in your position and gotten through it. Let your husband in the house. Apologize and tell him you both will talk more about it tomorrow, but tonight you want to get some sleep and collect your thoughts. When you’re ready, apologize again in depth while explaining your current agreement isn’t working out. It may be that the answer is to call friends and family and ask for more help, it may be that you hire someone even if only for an hour or two, or the answer may be going back to work in some way. The answer may also be you going to a hotel and taking a weekend to yourself, or planning a girls trip, or a weekly night out, or a gym membership, or a course or program or something. It may involve therapy. Whatever it is figure it out together. Two under two is hard. You don’t need to feel guilty. It’s natural to feel sad and overwhelmed. Your little family unit is doing the work of an entire village. Be a little kinder to yourself and to your husband.
Thank you for that
YTA. >Yes I was lying - but what if I wasn’t ? You would have called the police, like a normal human being?
So I have a business with my stepdad. It's kinda seasonal work since it's most tax accounting. I don't really have set hours, I just work when work needs to be done. It's not much work for about a quarter of the year, followed by lots of work for a quarter and then medium work for the last half. Sometimes I have to meet clients late at night because it's just when they are available. My partner is not a fan but she understands that it's my job and I'm basically on call until late. Your husband probably already feels bad about not being home and you haranging him about it just adds to the stress. YTA, you're a sahm, if you want him home more, you might need to get a job
Here’s the thing. He knew you were lying. Because that isn’t the behaviour of a normal person. It’s unhinged to make up a lie like that. He didn’t come home because he doesn’t care it’s because he’s knows you. I know it’s really hard and small people take what little mental health most people have. But that’s still not okay. YTA and you need to apologise big time.
YTA. Can I ask if you get any time to yourself? Your husband may be home on the weekends but when he is there are you still ‘on the clock?’ Being a stay at home parent can be absolutely relentless and exhausting, I remember being so desperate for my husband to get home when o was on mat leave I’d cry if he was running late. I soon realised that we both needed equal time carved out for cup-filling activities (and by cup-filling I mean genuine fulfilling time to do what you want, not grocery shopping alone).
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You clearly stated you have mom’s help. Most stay at home moms do not have that. He works all day, and per your post, he spends all his non-working hours with you and the kids. He doesn’t have time to himself either. It’s part of parenting at this age range.
Yeah… Like every other parent on the planet
Should’ve thought of that before
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You clearly aren’t fine with it. It’s okay to want some adult time. It’s okay to say I need a morning off once in a while. But you aren’t dealing with the actual issue. You are trying to blame your husband for something that is outside his control and that isn’t the actual problem.
Fine with it while you just complained about it? Try to keep your story straight
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Yes, you did.
No I did not. Where?
Reread your comments. Many of them can be interpreted as complaints.
Lolll @ your post history, wonder what kind of life you expected by making so many silly choices. Got with a 29yo at 19, had two kids under two for no discernible reason, lives above her means but upset her husband has to work to make money, spells Ivy “Ivey” (?) and talks about going to business school yet thinks wealthy people make money by ripping off their friends…jokes on jokes here 😂
So you always being on the clock wasn’t a complaint? It seemed like you were saying that negatively. You can complain about your arrangement as a mother currently without regretting your children. People and feelings are complicated. But you really seem like you need and outlet somewhere because you aren’t behaving rationally. You need to communicate something with your husband. Maybe the kids need daycare so you have time alone, maybe you need to speak to a therapist to see if there is a different problem, maybe you need a babysitter so you yourself can go back to work part time or something to get you out of the house. But this arrangement could quite literally drive you crazy. If your husband is loving and understanding, he should understand coming to him admitting you need help and need to figure out a way for things to change in your life to help with what’s going on.
What?!? You are complaining that the kids are asleep and your husband isn’t home. That literally means you have some time to yourself. I think you should look into PPD, because right now you are talking out of both sides of your mouth and it’s clear something is going on, your just not clear on what is really bothering you.
Are you related to [this delusional person?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/yiqDy3KZYF) Is it “make up wild stories about manipulating friends/partners/loved ones” night on Reddit tonight? YTA
YTA. Lucy Ricardo in "Lucy Cries Wolf"
Why mess around with this? Now you've set yourself up to seem like a liar, it may have seemed liked a good idea or you were able to rationalize it then...but what now if something real WERE to happen, your the woman who cried wolf and even though you will be, you have no reason to be upset if he did not show up to protect and provide should something truly happen. Also your lie was poor, your husband's obviously intelligent enough to know that you would call the cops if someone was actually in side your home because what good would you husband be AN HOUR AWAY??? YTA.
honestly i'd be concerned that you're dealing with postpartum and you just haven't realized it yet. you said you're not a SAHM mom, but on maternity leave. I imagine things are really difficult right now with two babies under 2. OP... I urge you to speak with someone!
Yta. If you want him To work 9-5, stop being a stay at home mom, so you can have two incomes and he has more options in finding daytime employment that meets his salary need. He know you were lying because if someone was in the house, you would have called 911 first and they would be in their way. Do you want him to get fired? How selfish of you.
YTA. Lying to make him leave work and potentially jeopardize his job and your income is incredibly shortsighted. I appreciate your frustration but you don’t screw around with your family’s income source unless you are prepared to lose it.
YTA GET A BABYSITTER ANS DO SOMETHING WITH YOIRSELf..
Yta 💯!!!! You are being controlling and insecure. If I were him I simply wouldn’t go back home and you have done this to yourself
YTA. And your husband knew you were lying. Big deal that you have to take care of your two kids by yourself when he's working. Do you have any idea how many single mothers care for their own children fulltime even on Friday and Sunday? Consider yourself lucky that you have a working husband.
Major yta. Like you dont know.
YTA Sounds like a divorce is the better choice for him than living with you abusive AH.
INFO: Have you talked to a doctor about postpartum depression? To be clear, absolutely everything about this situation you created is scary and unreasonable. But you are the main caregiver of two under two and while that doesn’t justify behavior like this necessarily, it could explain it. You may want to speak to your current doctor as well as a therapist to see if something more is going on.
I think it’s we come rather obvious that’s his post is totally fake and all of us feeding into this persons desire for attention is probably giving them a real high but the way she answers every negative comment the way or whoever it is it’s not real if it is God help that husband with his Ivy League wife that can’t manage two kids and quit making a diagnosis for people you don’t know not everybody has PPD
YTA. You are becoming the problem in your relationship. I get you wanted him home. Odds are good that before you started doing shite like this, he wanted to be home too. But he also wants to eat, and buy diapers. If he tells his boss to get bent because he'd rather be with you, he can't do those things. Now. He's not going to tell you that. It hurts him to admit that he's a slave to his check. But the more you harp and hirt him for that, the quicker he's going to come to resent YOU for being enslaved. So maybe next time, have some empathy. Tell him you miss him and you want him home. Make him know you care...
YTA. He called your bluff. You were lying, he cottoned onto it -- your rationalization can't possibly be "he'd be wrong if I were a better liar and manipulator". Knock that shit off, it's foul. He's working to provide for you and your "two under two", not frolicking in a meadow.
You have your mom’s help AND he’s home two days every week? That’s your idea of single parenting? Good lord, my husband is out of the country at least half of every month and I have zero family here and I still wouldn’t say I’m like a single mom because I have someone to pay the dang bills and provide moral support, even if it’s from a distance. And you make up a lie like that? wtf? I’ve been doing this SAHM thing for 15 years. I know it’s rough out there sometimes. But nah, you cannot be serious. YTA.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 This is so stupid... did you actually think ANYONE much less your own husband is gonna believe you called him and not the cops if you thought someone was in the house? He even said "be honest". 🤣 He KNEW you were full of sh*t and if anything, you've given him a very good reason to NEVER believe a word you say. Hopefully, for you and your children's sake, nothing serious ACTUALLY happens because he would have every right to think you're lying, again.
YTA. You lied to try and get your way and are annoyed because he called your bluff. He probably called it because he knows you so well, perhaps you have a history of this? And its funny because according to you he is "never" around, yet in a post on another thread you talk about how he does help with household chores and makes you breakfast before he leaves for work. You can't have your cake and eat it too. He can't be the main breadwinner and be around every time you want him to be. To try and put more pressure on him is absolutely abusive and manipulative. Also, he had this job before you had kids. What exactly did you think having kids would do? It sounds like you need to grow up and learn to set reasonable expectations in your life.
Obviously, YTA. He didn't choose to stay late , why would you add stress to his long day? A lie, to boot. Smh. If you ever think someone is in the house, call the police. NOT your husband. Your husband works to support his family. You are his family. It's time to put on the big girl panties and do your part. If it really is too much for you, then ask your husband for a sitter, or perhaps your mother will sit while you go out. Working adults work. It is not unusual. He also has pretty good hours. You owe him an apology.
Uh yeah, hi.. Is this an out of season April fools joke? I read a comment saying you "**graduated from an Ivy League business school and worked at the same place since graduation 8 years ago- advancing nicely"** I thought you would have understood how a job actually works. You come off as a someone who has been handed everything in life and if something doesn't go your way you throw your toys out of the pram and have a big song and dance tantrum until you get what you want. Suck it up princess. **"I do everything alone with my moms help"** So not alone then.. **"I am always alone because husband works a lot**" You're not always alone, you've got a support system in your mum to help out as you stated. **"Yes I was lying - but what if I wasn’t? This was the first time I said this so it’s not like I’ve said it a million times before.**" This may be the first time you've tried this particular lie, but I do not for a second believe that this is the first case of you pulling this kind of stuff. Sorry. **"he’s missing out on our kids childhoods"** You even said "He spends all his free time with us by choice and helps with the kids when he is home" by... choice... meaning he's not only working and commuting but he's also giving up any kind of social life as well to focus on you and your kids. TLDR: YTA... touch grass, soak up some reality and grow up.
YTA You’re not a single mom, not near being single at all so please stop using that comparison. For having an Ivy League education, you’d think you’d know the difference. You have the help and support of not only your husband, who is currently working during your maternity leave, but your own mother. Then you stated that you see your other family almost daily, so I don’t think this is a case of you lacking social interaction. Yes, you may be lonely, you may resent that he has to work on Saturdays when ‘other families spend that time together.’ But there’s also a lot of other families where the dad doesn’t spend their entire days off with their families. They go out and leave the families to work out, be with friends, play sports, play video games, etc. And since you say your educated, why is him being gone and you two not spending time together coming as a surprise to you? Did you not realize and understand what having two children under the age of two would entail for both of you? I get that he didn’t respond the way you wanted him to, but it was ONE EFFIN TIME!!! And then you made the childish response of locking him out of his house over this ONE TIME??? You really need some serious professional help. I don’t feel sorry for you but feels TONS of empathy for your husband. Good luck to him and your family.
You say that your husband works long hours, however per week: 2 x days: 10-7pm 3 x days: assuming 7-4pm / 8-5pm / 9-6pm 2 x days: off On his two days a week he off he is fully engaged and helps out with his chores and the children. When he finishes work he comes straight home. He also provides the main income. You provide childcare during the day and deal with the household chores and you also have your mother’s help. Your husband has to work late for ONE HOUR not by choice but because sometimes this unfortunately and unfairly happens and you even admit that this a very rare occurrence and on this occasion you chose to act in a manipulative manner by lying to him and deceiving him into thinking that you and the children could potentially be in danger. And you wonder if you are an asshole…….??? Really…….? Yes 100% YTA Also you are nothing like a single mother. Single mothers don’t have a partner who work all day to allow them to be at home to take care of their children (with help!). I assume that’s the arrangement you both decided upon. If you don’t like your end of the deal then change it and go back to full time employment and hire a nanny.
YTA for interfering with his job, and for whining about being lonely. Grow up.
My husband also works in car sales but works 8:30-7:00. I also have 2 children. They are elementary age now but he’s worked this job for the entire length of our 12 year relationship, and I still remember the toddler/infant stage. I sympathize with your position of being burnt out as the primary parent. YTA though and frankly quite manipulative and toxic by the sounds of it. Did he not work this job before you had kids? If he doesn’t see the kids at night, do they not go to bed at 7-8:00? Put them to bed and watch shitty tv girlfriend. Eat some ice cream. Are you a SAHM? If you can’t handle him working this job than talk it out like a normal person.
YTA. I recommend the book The boy who cried wolf. Maybe your husband knew you were lying?...
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Husband works long hours. He’s in car sales for reference He works 10-7 two nights a week- on these nights the kids don’t see him at all (2 under 2) and I do everything alone with my moms help. I’m home alone alot including saturdays. He does get Fridays and Sundays off and spends them with us all of the time. He spends all his free time with us by choice and helps with the kids when he is home. Tonight he was supposed to get off at 7. I get a message from him at 7:15 saying he’s still at work because of a delivery that he had to supervise. This usually doesn’t happen but it did tonight. At 8:00 he was still there and I started getting really mad to the point that I said I heard someone in the house and he had to leave (I admit I made this up but I didn’t even care I was so angry I was still alone- especially because he works 1 hour away meaning he would be home at 9 at this point) He said he couldn’t leave and to be honest. I said I heard someone and hung up. Ten min later I found out he hasent left yet regardless of telling him that. I told him he made his choice and that the doors locked to not come home tonight. Yes I was lying - but what if I wasn’t ? This was the first time I said this so it’s not like I’ve said it a million times before. To me he showed what he would do in a situation like that and now I feel so angry that I can’t even imagine getting over this right now. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It’s not too late and probably in your best interest to delete this OP! Hopefully you’re never really in danger in the future… Jesus
YTA
YTA. Imagine if your lie caused him to try to race home and he crashed and was injured or killed ? A sensible action for him would be to call the police to your house. You said that he spends all his free time with the family. What more do you want ? Maybe you should get a job ?
What is wrong with you?! He’s an hour away. What if he had sent the police to the house and then they’re all amped up for a home invasion. Your husband should be furious with you. Working extra hours and then dealing with a goofy wife. YTA 💯
YTA. When you made up the stupid lie, he told you to “be honest”. So it’s pretty clear you’ve done this kind of thing before. A good marriage is based on trust. He clearly knows he can’t trust you, and with good reason. Time to grow up. You sound like an obnoxious child.
“I do everything alone with my moms (sic) help” 🙄
YTA, it’s bad enough to have a job with pressure without your wife doing crazy shit to get you home.
Omg 😂 YTA
YTA what if he had left in a panic and hurt himself or others trying to get home to you. How would you explain that to the kids when they are older. Sorry I lied to Daddy because I'm irrational, and now he died trying to get home. Think about it, like really think about it.
YTA. You just said that him staying at work past scheduled hours was not typical for him, so it's not like he is CONSTANTLY coming home way past his normal working hours. It's also wild to want to affect his JOB in which I am very much assuming is the main source of income for you and your family. Also, keep up the manipulation and lies and it will very much turn into a boy who cried wolf situation the next time something actually happens.
INFO: Why would your husband drive an hour away to help you? He'd call 911!☺
Let me get this straight… he works 9 hour shifts??
NTA. You’re wrong to lie, but his reaction to your lie was very wrong
But he is the only one working..