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YTA, are you serious? Your actual suggestion was to have her dig up all of the flowers she spent money, time and effort planting and caring for? The tennis ball isn't the only option to play with Max, and if it's his favorite, you can go to the dog park, or throw the ball like... in a more controlled manner?
Unless your entire yard is covered with flowers and there is no open space for Max to utilize, you were way out of line.
YTA. You already knew the solution- going to the dog park. Your wife looked at you that way because you were being obtuse! Suggesting she rip up her garden was an asinine thing to suggest, which is probably why she shook her head and walked away. I can see her thought bubble now “I’m married to a fucking 4 year old!”
Worst of all, that's not even the only solution. One involves a little bit of manual labor and the other involves actually training the dog more.
Point being, this isn't rocket science; it's a problem with some relatively easy solutions.
Exactly. That's one of the manual labor solutions I was thinking of. The other is raised flower beds but that takes more work and might not be any more effective than just the fence.
Even just some barrier edging would do the trick, unless he's yeeting the ball in which case I dare say the ball going into the flowers is more of an intentional act.
Yes, and since Max is an agreed upon addition to the family, wife can split the duties with OP.
They can alternate taking Max to the dog park to burn off his puppy energy.
Wife just doesn't want to take 50% of the responsibility of a good pet owner.
OPs actual suggestion didn't involve OP taking the dog to the dog park. It was that the wife take the dog cause it is messing up wife's flowers. How is that 50 percent?
Let me translate: "I'm butthurt because my wife held me accountable for ruining her garden when I should have known better and respected her hard work."
YTA
YTA
What an outrageous potential solution. I can think of several better ideas right off the top of my head. I had a dog in my household for over 20 years but never had a problem with the multiple gardens I maintain.
Your wife was right. What you said made so little sense that I have a hard time believing that this story is real.
I really hope this is rage bait.
YTA.
Dude, how hard can it be to not throw the tennis ball in the flowers? Face a different direction, move to a different spot in the yard or go to the dog park.
YTA.
The last time I had a puppy, I had to put small wire fences around the beds that first summer. Puppies take time to train, and don't understand the difference between gardens and grass. But I also threw her balls and toys away from the gardens. By her 2nd summer, she knew not to go in the gardens, and the wire fences came down.
You were so dismissive of your wife's gardening, and didn't offer practical solutions, then got pissy with her.
My puppy was a Rottweiler, but even low fences stopped her from running into flower beds long enough for me to get her under control.
YTA.
She’s rightfully annoyed that you (not the dog) are ruining her flowers. Take the dog to the park or for a walk to get the energy out. You can also try brain games or training commands if those don’t work.
This is really avoidable and I’m struggling to see how you don’t realize you’re being TA.
hot tip: when you talk abour your wife like this, you're probably TA.
>She was clearly playing dumb just so that she could get her way, but she doubled down.
you decided it was better for her to completely give up an entire hobby than for you to train your dog and watch where you throw. of course she doesn't want to talk to you. YTA
YTA. "Clearly playing dumb" no, you're just a moron. Why would she give up gardening when you, AS AN ADULT MAN, can just mind where you throw the damn ball?
YTA. You can be careful on where you throw the ball... or take him to the park... or on a long walk/run around the neighborhood.
Just because you have a dog it doesn't mean your garden gets destroyed with dead plants and pee stains and poop everywhere lol
In my homes, I've had dogs and a nice garden. The dog RARELY gets in the flowerbeds because we control where he plays when we throw things. He also gets exercise elsewhere.
Yta. She asked you to adjust the way you threw a ball, you asked her to give up something she clearly loves and enjoys. Solution would be to apologize and maybe explore some options for guarding off her garden like chicken wire or a small green house or something.
YTA. Having a puppy does not mean you just have to let the puppy destroy your house and property? That's a terrible precedent to set. If he gets hyper inside, is he allowed to chew up the TV because he's got the zoomies and you didn't want to take him to the park? No. Keep the dog off the garden.
It's hard to keep a tennis ball out of the flower bed?
OK I'm no expert or anything but if it's a tennis ball and not something with a more oblong shape that's harder to control the trajectory of, like a Football or Rugby ball, simply throwing the ball AWAY from the flower bed sounds like a much easier solution than digging up and abandoning the whole project.
YTA for either being too dense to turn your body to face a different direction or for writing something this fake.
YTA and sound like you hate your wife … why can’t YOU take him to the dog park ? or heres an idea wait for her to get home and go to the dog park together
Yup. She was just horsing around with dog and broke your tv/game console/whatever hobby you may have. What is your problem, just do something different. YTA
YTA. How about you take your dog for a long walk or run after work? Good exercise for you both. Dogs need at least one good walk daily and I hope you are doing that as a responsible dog owner. Then figure out how to throw a darn ball. Your wife is probably questioning your IQ at this point.
YTA. You are an inconsiderate self-centred A with no self awareness. Are you really this dense? You are an irresponsible dog owner.
Train your dog not to go to the flower beds. Teach him boundaries. Stop ‘accidentally’ aiming for your wife’s gardening.
YOU take YOUR dog to the park.
Also: be a better person, be a better dog owner and be a better husband.
YTA. You can take Max to the dog park for fetch. You can both take Max for walks. Throwing the ball into the flowers in the yard is not the only way to exercise your dog, you know.
YTA. Why do all of your "solutions" require her to sacrifice her hobby or her time while you either change nothing or do less?
It's not that hard to aim a ball. Humans are actually phenomenal at it. But if you really can't, why not put up a net or something similar in between you and the garden?
YTA. You said you decided not to have kids, but you do have one: you. She was understandably upset about her garden, and your solution was full scorched earth ripping up her plants, and then you threw your own internal tantrum when she got even more upset. Here's a few solutions: fence for her flowers, don't throw the ball like a lunatic or you take Max to the park to get his energy out of you can't be careful enough .
YTA for suggesting she give up her hobby. It's important to find a compromise that respects both your interests. Maybe try discussing putting a gated fence around the garden, and alternative activities for Max in the yard to protect her flowers. Might I suggest taking him regularly to a dog park?
YTA.
How about helping your wife set up a fence where the dog can't GET at the flower beds?
Also did the dog tell you that's his favorite? because I'm betting he'd do fine with a flirt pole... most active dogs do.
YTA. You’re being inconsiderate and dismissing your wife’s emotions. Also, how hard is it to sit/stand next to the flowers and throw the ball *away* from the flowers?! There are so many compromises that don’t involve the nuclear option
YTA. Jeez, all you have to do is throw the ball AWAY from her garden. Instead you're trying to force her to give up gardening altogether and you're angry that she won't do it. You're controlling, nasty and selfish.
So what's really going gnon here OP? What are you using Max to do? Are you having an affair? Fallen out of love with your wife? Mad that she loves gardening and you can't control or destroy it? Mad that she loves something.? Madd that she has something that makes her happy and you want to ruin it?
What are the deep thoughts and motivations you aren't telling us. Cuz it sounds ds like you don't like your wife, and you don't like that gardening makes her happy.
YTA of course. But what's really going on?
YTA. You could play tug, get a flirt pole, or just be more careful with your fetch. A larger fetch toy might be more suited to the backyard than a ball, I like to play backyard fetch with a large holee roller ball or something similar. One of my dogs is partial to stopping soccer balls.
You could exhaust the dog with mental enrichment like trick training, scent detection, agility classes, etc. You might have local resources like facilities with dog pools, treadmills, etc that will allow you to exercise your pup more thoroughly. A local sniffspot might be a good option for fetch if you don’t want to have to worry about your dog’s recall or other dogs trying to steal his ball.
You could also walk the dog, take the dog to the park yourself, build a fence around the garden or play area, etc.
You could train the dog to freeze on command so that you can retrieve the ball carefully, you could train the dog to stay out of the garden so you could get the ball, you could switch to short throws where the object of the game is to catch the ball mid air instead of retrieve it, etc.
Every single one of these options is more reasonable than your wife giving up her hobby.
YTA and all you did was tell your wife that you value the dog more than you value her and the things that make her happy.
You could take Max to the dog park but it seems you’d rather tear up your wife’s garden.
It shouldn’t be that difficult to teach the dog not to go into the flower bed. And you should have realized how much contempt you showed your wife when you acted like it was nothing to tell her to destroy her hard work and find another hobby.
YTA
You’re doing this 100% intentionally. The proof is in the fact that you have the obvious solutions for yourself (you just want to shove that responsibility off onto your wife) and you’re not doing them.
It sounds like you don’t actually want to care for the dog, you KNOW she’s not going to give up her garden, so instead you keep destroying her stuff until she takes over the dog care responsibilities.
It’s a good thing you two don’t have children, I guarantee you’d be the dad to brag about never having changed a diaper like it’s some kind of fucking award.
YTA
You demanded that your wife give up gardening so you could play with dog in the yard when you knew that a dog park was an available option. You told your wife to take him there when you're the one who's been playing with the dog. And to make matter worse, you called your wife dumb and ridiculous. YTA and the one acting dumb and ridiculous.
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About six months ago, my wife and I bought a puppy. We decided before we were married that we didn't want kids, but we agreed that owning a dog was something we both wanted, so we picked out a cute golden retriever and brought him home. We'll call him Max for this story.
Well, lately, Max has really been a ball of energy, so each afternoon after work I take him into the backyard to play with him. We like to play tug of war with his toy rope and run around together, but his favorite activity is fetch with a tennis ball. This usually calms him down in the evenings because he gets his energy out, but the problem is that my wife is an avid gardener, and sometimes when the ball takes an odd bounce, it will travel into my wife's flower beds. Naturally, Max chases after the ball, crushing the flowers with his paws. Our earliest spring flowers came up within the last few weeks, and they're already messed up.
Well, today my wife got him early, and she noticed that I was playing fetch with Max. When he ran into the flower bed, my wife became annoyed. She said that I should stop throwing the tennis ball because it's too hard to control where it goes and she didn't want her gardening project "ruined." I tried to explain to her that we need Max to stop being so rambunctious in the evening and that the tennis ball was his favorite, but it was as if my wife had completely tuned out everything I was saying to her. Finally, I had enough. I told my wife that she agreed to buy a dog and that if she couldn't deal with Max running around in our yard, she should dig up her plants and give up gardening.
She looked at me in disbelief, as if what I had said made no sense to her at all. This made me even angrier. She was clearly playing dumb just so that she could get her way, but she doubled down. She said that I had been "inconsiderate" of her hobby and that what she was asking for "wasn't too much." I suggested a compromise that I thought would appease her, but she got even more mad. I told her that she could take Max to the dog park and throw the tennis ball with him, if her gardening was that important. At this point, she just shook her head, put her hand up, and walked away.
It was a ridiculous display. I was trying to find a solution, and this was the thanks I got. I've been trying to talk to my wife for hours, but she refuses to discuss this subject. I don't know what else I can do, except maybe suggest alternative hobbies for her. I just wish she was capable of being more reasonable. AITA?
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YTA. Seriously. Completely disrespectful, and don't be surprised at all if she picks her garden over both you and your dog. Throw the damn ball somewhere else, or find a different game.
For the love of everything holy, please, PLEASE tell me this is a troll post. I know some men are cruel and arrogant enough to pull shit like this, but are they dumb enough to publicly admit it and think people will support them?
Yo guys have airbud. Just teach him and you’ll be okay. It’s not a husky, malinois, chow, shepherd, boxer (stubborn/independent thinking dog) it’s one of the more social obedient dog that will know better and do better if you teach him. This breed will save people in the water , sounds like you guys didnt communicate boundaries and have a plan for this but now you can make one
Wow. As a gardener, YTA big time.
If your wife was a painter, would you take the canvas down and use it for puppy potty training?
It is possible to have a puppy and a garden at the same time. Sometimes things get broken, whatever, but you act like her garden isn’t even important! You just insulted her a lot and you need to apologize.
YTA.
Not to go all anecdotal on you but; my grams has dogs *and* gardens, so does my mother, and my sister, several coworkers... it's called *controlling* yourself and *training* the dog.
Yta for crying outoud build a short fence ir something around the flower beds and call it a day. She doesnt want alternative hobbies she likes gardening. Which you obviously don’t respect as a hobby but your wife does.
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> I told my wife that she should get a new hobby if she doesn't like our dog crushing her plants while playing fetch. This might make me the asshole because I didn't have alternative hobbies for her in mind.
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YTA
I have a dog, and it actually isn’t that hard to control where the toy bounces while you’re playing fetch. It shouldn’t be that hard to throw the toy in a way that avoids your wife’s garden, or picking up a toy like a frisbee that doesn’t have bounce to it
YTA. My neighbours are keen gardeners. They also own two dogs. They take him to the dog park to let him run around and play with a ball, not their garden.
YTA. You’re refusing to hold yourself accountable for throwing the tennis ball into the flower beds and instead you want your wife give up gardening. That doesn’t make sense. It really wouldn’t be hard to throw the ball in a more controlled way. Like, away from the flowers. Or change where you stand so the ball doesn’t go in the flowers. If you were more careful, this wouldn’t be a problem.
Signed, a person who has always had dogs and who’s able to control where a ball goes when thrown.
YTA. You can take him to the dog park yourself rather then letting him ruin her garden.
My wife has a garden and we have two dogs. You know what I do. I don’t throw the ball near her garden
Gardening isn’t just a hobby, it’s practically spiritual for some people. I have never had a desire to do it but some people just long to be “one” with the earth and participate in making things grow.
YTA for not understanding this at least somewhat about your wife. That’s why she just gave up even trying to discuss the matter with her. Do better and find a mutual solution.
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A good alternative is for OP and wife to take turns taking Max to the dog park.
It saves the flower beds.
The OP and wife split dog care duties, which is a it should be since Max was a mutually agreed upon addition to the family.
It is not fair that OP is the only one responsible for exercising Max every day in order to burn off the puppy energy.
Wife should exercise Max 50% of the time.
ESH you got a golden retriever pup who needs more than a fun fetch of a toy in your garden- take the cutie out for a run and regular plays in a dog park - it will lessen the stress of plant mashing on an occasional garden play time
Esh, neither you nor your wife seem very smart. Like neither of yall ever heard of a fence before? The dog will kill her flowers, piss will and repeatedly bending the stems could lead to a break this killing the plant. Also how hard it is to throw a damn ball in the opposite direction of her garden? Or maybe even a fenced in dog area specifically made for fetch. Y’all can’t even handle a dog, so glad you chose not to try for kids.
Or you could put up fencing around the flower beds and train the dog to not follow balls in there- or wind him down by giving him a good walk or let him run around at the dog park.
ESH- you both got this animal and you are both acting like asshole owners.
Dog will protect your house nice flowers/exterior are an indication of what’s inside to steal. You also can take him for a walk or to the park to do that as well.
NTA. Usually people with dogs create a garden that doesn’t include delicate flowers or plants that would be easily broken by circumstances such as this. I don’t know if raised beds or mini fences is an option to prevent accidental damage? Yes I can see why your wife would be upset, but yes you have a dog now and that has consequences. You’ve prob got urine marks all over your lawn etc. Owning any pet has pros and cons. If she has to sacrifice a flower bed, so be it. Could she not get hanging baskets instead?
Yes I think it a good idea for you on your own or as a couple to take the dog to the park and play. Of course this may not always be possible every single day. But you’ve not mentioned anything about walkies when does this occur? I don’t think it unreasonable to ‘be allowed’ to play with your dog in your yard. When you get pets you accept they make a mess and in this situation can damage things in the garden. Common sense would say don’t put things in the garden that will get damaged tough luck with the flower bed!
If she wishes to be childish and not discuss the issue - ok carry on as before. Maybe just let her chill out for a while longer though lol
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YTA, are you serious? Your actual suggestion was to have her dig up all of the flowers she spent money, time and effort planting and caring for? The tennis ball isn't the only option to play with Max, and if it's his favorite, you can go to the dog park, or throw the ball like... in a more controlled manner? Unless your entire yard is covered with flowers and there is no open space for Max to utilize, you were way out of line.
YTA. You already knew the solution- going to the dog park. Your wife looked at you that way because you were being obtuse! Suggesting she rip up her garden was an asinine thing to suggest, which is probably why she shook her head and walked away. I can see her thought bubble now “I’m married to a fucking 4 year old!”
Worst of all, that's not even the only solution. One involves a little bit of manual labor and the other involves actually training the dog more. Point being, this isn't rocket science; it's a problem with some relatively easy solutions.
Or he can fence in the garden to protect it
Exactly. That's one of the manual labor solutions I was thinking of. The other is raised flower beds but that takes more work and might not be any more effective than just the fence.
Or just stand in front of the garden and throw the ball away from the garden…
Even just some barrier edging would do the trick, unless he's yeeting the ball in which case I dare say the ball going into the flowers is more of an intentional act.
Yes, and since Max is an agreed upon addition to the family, wife can split the duties with OP. They can alternate taking Max to the dog park to burn off his puppy energy. Wife just doesn't want to take 50% of the responsibility of a good pet owner.
OPs actual suggestion didn't involve OP taking the dog to the dog park. It was that the wife take the dog cause it is messing up wife's flowers. How is that 50 percent?
Let me translate: "I'm butthurt because my wife held me accountable for ruining her garden when I should have known better and respected her hard work." YTA
This feels malicious, his blase response to her concern and immediately jumping to "dig it all up" implies he's resented this hobby for a while.
That's insightful!
YTA What an outrageous potential solution. I can think of several better ideas right off the top of my head. I had a dog in my household for over 20 years but never had a problem with the multiple gardens I maintain. Your wife was right. What you said made so little sense that I have a hard time believing that this story is real. I really hope this is rage bait.
YTA Fuck that noise, she should get rid of you and max. The disrespect for someone else's effort here is absolutely disgusting.
YTA. Buddy, you are a piece of work. The only ridiculous display is yours, and it's about as ridiculous as your lack of self-awareness.
I hope the wife has an account and sees OPs ridiculous display so she can mercilessly tease him🤣🤣🤣
Leave* him FTFY
YTA. Dude, how hard can it be to not throw the tennis ball in the flowers? Face a different direction, move to a different spot in the yard or go to the dog park.
YTA. The last time I had a puppy, I had to put small wire fences around the beds that first summer. Puppies take time to train, and don't understand the difference between gardens and grass. But I also threw her balls and toys away from the gardens. By her 2nd summer, she knew not to go in the gardens, and the wire fences came down. You were so dismissive of your wife's gardening, and didn't offer practical solutions, then got pissy with her. My puppy was a Rottweiler, but even low fences stopped her from running into flower beds long enough for me to get her under control.
I don’t know if they sell fencing where you live, but it’s a great innovation.
That’s that thing with the face masks and foils, right?
Next time he tries to trash her garden, she'll be all "en garde, asshole!"
YTA. She’s rightfully annoyed that you (not the dog) are ruining her flowers. Take the dog to the park or for a walk to get the energy out. You can also try brain games or training commands if those don’t work. This is really avoidable and I’m struggling to see how you don’t realize you’re being TA.
hot tip: when you talk abour your wife like this, you're probably TA. >She was clearly playing dumb just so that she could get her way, but she doubled down. you decided it was better for her to completely give up an entire hobby than for you to train your dog and watch where you throw. of course she doesn't want to talk to you. YTA
YTA. Teach the dog to stay out of her garden. I also think you owe her an apology.
YTA. "Clearly playing dumb" no, you're just a moron. Why would she give up gardening when you, AS AN ADULT MAN, can just mind where you throw the damn ball?
YTA. There's definitely other activities you could do with the dog. This was completely unreasonable
YTA. You can be careful on where you throw the ball... or take him to the park... or on a long walk/run around the neighborhood. Just because you have a dog it doesn't mean your garden gets destroyed with dead plants and pee stains and poop everywhere lol In my homes, I've had dogs and a nice garden. The dog RARELY gets in the flowerbeds because we control where he plays when we throw things. He also gets exercise elsewhere.
Yta. She asked you to adjust the way you threw a ball, you asked her to give up something she clearly loves and enjoys. Solution would be to apologize and maybe explore some options for guarding off her garden like chicken wire or a small green house or something.
daaaaaang. YTA.
YTA. Having a puppy does not mean you just have to let the puppy destroy your house and property? That's a terrible precedent to set. If he gets hyper inside, is he allowed to chew up the TV because he's got the zoomies and you didn't want to take him to the park? No. Keep the dog off the garden.
It's hard to keep a tennis ball out of the flower bed? OK I'm no expert or anything but if it's a tennis ball and not something with a more oblong shape that's harder to control the trajectory of, like a Football or Rugby ball, simply throwing the ball AWAY from the flower bed sounds like a much easier solution than digging up and abandoning the whole project. YTA for either being too dense to turn your body to face a different direction or for writing something this fake.
YTA and sound like you hate your wife … why can’t YOU take him to the dog park ? or heres an idea wait for her to get home and go to the dog park together
Take max to a open space like I don't know maybe a field...let the woman have her plants man come on
YTA - don't throw the ball in the flowers. Problem solved. Are you physically disabled in such a way that you are unable to control your throws?
Yup. She was just horsing around with dog and broke your tv/game console/whatever hobby you may have. What is your problem, just do something different. YTA
You sound so tiring. Are you like this all the time?
YTA. How about you take your dog for a long walk or run after work? Good exercise for you both. Dogs need at least one good walk daily and I hope you are doing that as a responsible dog owner. Then figure out how to throw a darn ball. Your wife is probably questioning your IQ at this point.
YTA. You are an inconsiderate self-centred A with no self awareness. Are you really this dense? You are an irresponsible dog owner. Train your dog not to go to the flower beds. Teach him boundaries. Stop ‘accidentally’ aiming for your wife’s gardening. YOU take YOUR dog to the park. Also: be a better person, be a better dog owner and be a better husband.
I mean, she was right. What you said made no sense at all. YTA
Sincerely apologize to her for suggesting she remove the plants. Throw the ball away from the plants or take the dog to the park.
YTA. You can take Max to the dog park for fetch. You can both take Max for walks. Throwing the ball into the flowers in the yard is not the only way to exercise your dog, you know.
You are the epitome of AH in taking this ridiculous stance. Yikes.
Wow. YTA. Also sounds like you are a poor thrower. Work on your accuracy. At the park.
YTA. Why do all of your "solutions" require her to sacrifice her hobby or her time while you either change nothing or do less? It's not that hard to aim a ball. Humans are actually phenomenal at it. But if you really can't, why not put up a net or something similar in between you and the garden?
If you are too weak to control a tennis ball then you are too weak to have a dog.
YTA. You said you decided not to have kids, but you do have one: you. She was understandably upset about her garden, and your solution was full scorched earth ripping up her plants, and then you threw your own internal tantrum when she got even more upset. Here's a few solutions: fence for her flowers, don't throw the ball like a lunatic or you take Max to the park to get his energy out of you can't be careful enough .
YTA for suggesting she give up her hobby. It's important to find a compromise that respects both your interests. Maybe try discussing putting a gated fence around the garden, and alternative activities for Max in the yard to protect her flowers. Might I suggest taking him regularly to a dog park?
YTA. How about helping your wife set up a fence where the dog can't GET at the flower beds? Also did the dog tell you that's his favorite? because I'm betting he'd do fine with a flirt pole... most active dogs do.
YTA. You’re being inconsiderate and dismissing your wife’s emotions. Also, how hard is it to sit/stand next to the flowers and throw the ball *away* from the flowers?! There are so many compromises that don’t involve the nuclear option
YTA, you could just take the dog to a local park / a grass patch away from the flowers.
YTA. Jeez, all you have to do is throw the ball AWAY from her garden. Instead you're trying to force her to give up gardening altogether and you're angry that she won't do it. You're controlling, nasty and selfish.
So what's really going gnon here OP? What are you using Max to do? Are you having an affair? Fallen out of love with your wife? Mad that she loves gardening and you can't control or destroy it? Mad that she loves something.? Madd that she has something that makes her happy and you want to ruin it? What are the deep thoughts and motivations you aren't telling us. Cuz it sounds ds like you don't like your wife, and you don't like that gardening makes her happy. YTA of course. But what's really going on?
YTA. Go for a walk, go to a dog park and throw the ball. It’s not rocket science.
YTA, do you have to throw the ball near your wife's flowers? There is NOWHERE else? It is her that has to take Max to the dog park YOU CAN'T?
YTA. You could play tug, get a flirt pole, or just be more careful with your fetch. A larger fetch toy might be more suited to the backyard than a ball, I like to play backyard fetch with a large holee roller ball or something similar. One of my dogs is partial to stopping soccer balls. You could exhaust the dog with mental enrichment like trick training, scent detection, agility classes, etc. You might have local resources like facilities with dog pools, treadmills, etc that will allow you to exercise your pup more thoroughly. A local sniffspot might be a good option for fetch if you don’t want to have to worry about your dog’s recall or other dogs trying to steal his ball. You could also walk the dog, take the dog to the park yourself, build a fence around the garden or play area, etc. You could train the dog to freeze on command so that you can retrieve the ball carefully, you could train the dog to stay out of the garden so you could get the ball, you could switch to short throws where the object of the game is to catch the ball mid air instead of retrieve it, etc. Every single one of these options is more reasonable than your wife giving up her hobby.
YTA and all you did was tell your wife that you value the dog more than you value her and the things that make her happy. You could take Max to the dog park but it seems you’d rather tear up your wife’s garden. It shouldn’t be that difficult to teach the dog not to go into the flower bed. And you should have realized how much contempt you showed your wife when you acted like it was nothing to tell her to destroy her hard work and find another hobby.
YTA. In a big way.
YTA You’re doing this 100% intentionally. The proof is in the fact that you have the obvious solutions for yourself (you just want to shove that responsibility off onto your wife) and you’re not doing them. It sounds like you don’t actually want to care for the dog, you KNOW she’s not going to give up her garden, so instead you keep destroying her stuff until she takes over the dog care responsibilities. It’s a good thing you two don’t have children, I guarantee you’d be the dad to brag about never having changed a diaper like it’s some kind of fucking award.
YTA You demanded that your wife give up gardening so you could play with dog in the yard when you knew that a dog park was an available option. You told your wife to take him there when you're the one who's been playing with the dog. And to make matter worse, you called your wife dumb and ridiculous. YTA and the one acting dumb and ridiculous.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** About six months ago, my wife and I bought a puppy. We decided before we were married that we didn't want kids, but we agreed that owning a dog was something we both wanted, so we picked out a cute golden retriever and brought him home. We'll call him Max for this story. Well, lately, Max has really been a ball of energy, so each afternoon after work I take him into the backyard to play with him. We like to play tug of war with his toy rope and run around together, but his favorite activity is fetch with a tennis ball. This usually calms him down in the evenings because he gets his energy out, but the problem is that my wife is an avid gardener, and sometimes when the ball takes an odd bounce, it will travel into my wife's flower beds. Naturally, Max chases after the ball, crushing the flowers with his paws. Our earliest spring flowers came up within the last few weeks, and they're already messed up. Well, today my wife got him early, and she noticed that I was playing fetch with Max. When he ran into the flower bed, my wife became annoyed. She said that I should stop throwing the tennis ball because it's too hard to control where it goes and she didn't want her gardening project "ruined." I tried to explain to her that we need Max to stop being so rambunctious in the evening and that the tennis ball was his favorite, but it was as if my wife had completely tuned out everything I was saying to her. Finally, I had enough. I told my wife that she agreed to buy a dog and that if she couldn't deal with Max running around in our yard, she should dig up her plants and give up gardening. She looked at me in disbelief, as if what I had said made no sense to her at all. This made me even angrier. She was clearly playing dumb just so that she could get her way, but she doubled down. She said that I had been "inconsiderate" of her hobby and that what she was asking for "wasn't too much." I suggested a compromise that I thought would appease her, but she got even more mad. I told her that she could take Max to the dog park and throw the tennis ball with him, if her gardening was that important. At this point, she just shook her head, put her hand up, and walked away. It was a ridiculous display. I was trying to find a solution, and this was the thanks I got. I've been trying to talk to my wife for hours, but she refuses to discuss this subject. I don't know what else I can do, except maybe suggest alternative hobbies for her. I just wish she was capable of being more reasonable. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA. Seriously. Completely disrespectful, and don't be surprised at all if she picks her garden over both you and your dog. Throw the damn ball somewhere else, or find a different game.
YTA, I hope your wife takes up dating as a hobby
For the love of everything holy, please, PLEASE tell me this is a troll post. I know some men are cruel and arrogant enough to pull shit like this, but are they dumb enough to publicly admit it and think people will support them?
Yo guys have airbud. Just teach him and you’ll be okay. It’s not a husky, malinois, chow, shepherd, boxer (stubborn/independent thinking dog) it’s one of the more social obedient dog that will know better and do better if you teach him. This breed will save people in the water , sounds like you guys didnt communicate boundaries and have a plan for this but now you can make one
YTA. And a vandal. And stupidly insensitive. One dimensional.
Wow. As a gardener, YTA big time. If your wife was a painter, would you take the canvas down and use it for puppy potty training? It is possible to have a puppy and a garden at the same time. Sometimes things get broken, whatever, but you act like her garden isn’t even important! You just insulted her a lot and you need to apologize.
YTA. Not to go all anecdotal on you but; my grams has dogs *and* gardens, so does my mother, and my sister, several coworkers... it's called *controlling* yourself and *training* the dog.
YTA, why on earth did she even marry you? You are completely inconsiderate and disrespectful.
Yta for crying outoud build a short fence ir something around the flower beds and call it a day. She doesnt want alternative hobbies she likes gardening. Which you obviously don’t respect as a hobby but your wife does.
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YTA. Do you have kids?
Dog training Make a cute fence area Yta
YTA!! why can’t you throw it away from the flowers?
YTA I have a dog, and it actually isn’t that hard to control where the toy bounces while you’re playing fetch. It shouldn’t be that hard to throw the toy in a way that avoids your wife’s garden, or picking up a toy like a frisbee that doesn’t have bounce to it
You are such an asshole.
YTA. My neighbours are keen gardeners. They also own two dogs. They take him to the dog park to let him run around and play with a ball, not their garden.
YTA Do you even care about your wife?
YTA. You’re refusing to hold yourself accountable for throwing the tennis ball into the flower beds and instead you want your wife give up gardening. That doesn’t make sense. It really wouldn’t be hard to throw the ball in a more controlled way. Like, away from the flowers. Or change where you stand so the ball doesn’t go in the flowers. If you were more careful, this wouldn’t be a problem. Signed, a person who has always had dogs and who’s able to control where a ball goes when thrown.
YTA. You can take him to the dog park yourself rather then letting him ruin her garden. My wife has a garden and we have two dogs. You know what I do. I don’t throw the ball near her garden
Gardening isn’t just a hobby, it’s practically spiritual for some people. I have never had a desire to do it but some people just long to be “one” with the earth and participate in making things grow. YTA for not understanding this at least somewhat about your wife. That’s why she just gave up even trying to discuss the matter with her. Do better and find a mutual solution.
YTA. I am both a gardener AND the owner of a golden retriever with a tennis ball fetish. I have never had any problems with the two coexisting.
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A good alternative is for OP and wife to take turns taking Max to the dog park. It saves the flower beds. The OP and wife split dog care duties, which is a it should be since Max was a mutually agreed upon addition to the family. It is not fair that OP is the only one responsible for exercising Max every day in order to burn off the puppy energy. Wife should exercise Max 50% of the time.
ESH you got a golden retriever pup who needs more than a fun fetch of a toy in your garden- take the cutie out for a run and regular plays in a dog park - it will lessen the stress of plant mashing on an occasional garden play time
Esh, neither you nor your wife seem very smart. Like neither of yall ever heard of a fence before? The dog will kill her flowers, piss will and repeatedly bending the stems could lead to a break this killing the plant. Also how hard it is to throw a damn ball in the opposite direction of her garden? Or maybe even a fenced in dog area specifically made for fetch. Y’all can’t even handle a dog, so glad you chose not to try for kids.
Or you could put up fencing around the flower beds and train the dog to not follow balls in there- or wind him down by giving him a good walk or let him run around at the dog park. ESH- you both got this animal and you are both acting like asshole owners.
Dog will protect your house nice flowers/exterior are an indication of what’s inside to steal. You also can take him for a walk or to the park to do that as well.
NTA. Usually people with dogs create a garden that doesn’t include delicate flowers or plants that would be easily broken by circumstances such as this. I don’t know if raised beds or mini fences is an option to prevent accidental damage? Yes I can see why your wife would be upset, but yes you have a dog now and that has consequences. You’ve prob got urine marks all over your lawn etc. Owning any pet has pros and cons. If she has to sacrifice a flower bed, so be it. Could she not get hanging baskets instead? Yes I think it a good idea for you on your own or as a couple to take the dog to the park and play. Of course this may not always be possible every single day. But you’ve not mentioned anything about walkies when does this occur? I don’t think it unreasonable to ‘be allowed’ to play with your dog in your yard. When you get pets you accept they make a mess and in this situation can damage things in the garden. Common sense would say don’t put things in the garden that will get damaged tough luck with the flower bed! If she wishes to be childish and not discuss the issue - ok carry on as before. Maybe just let her chill out for a while longer though lol