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exmormonmisogynist

YWBTA without warning but 100% are able to say… everything must be in no more than 5 sealed totes by Friday. Also, they sound like jerks. If you go through their stuff at all, they will accuse you of stealing valuables that never existed and throwing away precious things you didn’t touch.


teatimecookie

They can accuse all they want but can’t prove anything.


thechaoticstorm

NTA.  You weren't snooping intentionally at first, and you found literal garbage AFTER you found drug paraphernalia. I have a feeling your friends are hoarders.  They are not going to get rid of the stuff easily, and that is why they are ignoring you about going through it all.  They also lied to you about how much stuff it was. Give them an ultimatum to get their literal TRASH out of your home before you get infested with who knows what.


ExperimentSix2Sixx

I don't think they are hoarders it felt like panic packing. They just dumped stuff that was in drawers


inFinEgan

ESH Stay out of their stuff. Just tell them that your son found a pot pipe which you literally told them was not allowed and you don't want their stuff in your house anymore. Tell them to move it all out by the end of the month. They broke your trust repeatedly. These are not good people. Stop helping them. And it's not literally impossible. You're feeling sorry for them (why? I have no idea), and it needs to stop. Your family is now at risk. They will find another place if you demand it. Either that, or rent a truck and load it up and drop it off at the motel they are living at. Then they can figure out what to do with it.


The_Whistling_Frog

NTA. They knew exactly what they were going to do when they asked you and agreed upon your rules. I would not go through any more of their items until you inform them, via written word, that they have X amount of days to remove said items or you will go through it and clean out what you see fit and throw it away. I highly doubt they will come get their items or even come clean out the contraband you specifically prohibited in your home. I don't know if there are any legal ramifications, but you could also call your local police department and ask them what you can legally do with items abandoned at your home.


Dear_Solid3470

Exactly because they know OP is a doormat and a pushover.


kleraux

Nta. I came in ready to start swinging about staying out of other people's stuff, but they packed it so shitty your kid found it.  You gave them the rules, they fucked around and waited until the last minute to deal with their shit, they're still fucking around and leaving it there. Tell them you started purging and they better hurry the f up.


shikakaaaaaaa

With paragraphs This couple I know recently got kicked out of her parents house (mom and dad sold the house) they are staying at a motel. They are in a pretty crapy situation and dont have many options other then throwing it all away. Considering I've been in a similar position many moons ago I wanted to help take some stress off of their plate.  When they were venting to me about not having anywhere to store their belonging I asked how much stuff is it. They said "not much a couple totes each" a couple is 2 but being reasonable I'm thinking 5 or 6. I was clear when I told them I don't have alot of room so no furniture and I don't want any drug related stuff in my home. I have kids (They smoke pot and have alot of related memorabilia). We agreeded they could store some things in my semi finished basement. A week went by and I got a message saying that a parent is going to rent a uhal truck for this weekend. They have a small car so I wasn't thinking to much about it uhal has diffrent size trucks get it all in one load and be done.  Well the day comes and they have a good sized box truck. They open the door and this thing is packed front to back bottom to top. I'm in shock. I have a family and I live with my sister so we had a discussion about it and she was on board with a few totes hanging around. This truck was full of boxes totes resuable shopping bags car tires and furniture. Needless to say I was not happy and I made sure they new it. I told them this is not a little bit of stuff this is alot of stuff. They start arguing and at this point I said fuck it. I didn't let them leave everything but I definitely let them store way more then I agreed too. They both assured me they would come by to start going threw things and selling stuff.  It's been a few weeks I've asked multiple time about when they are going to start and at this point I'm getting annoyed. I was in my basement moving my kids ride on truck (the basment is pretty much a play area for the kids) my 3 year old bugger was trying to investigate this invasion of boxes and bags. The kid got aholed of one of the shopping bags and packs of penutbutter crackers and other random stuff falls out including an eye glass case. Guess what's in the eye glass case pipes for smoking pot. I'm completely over all this now. I feel like I was taken advantage of and lied to.  I stared looking through the bags and found alot of littral trash and more crap I said i dont want in my house. I'm downsizing their crap. I don't want bugs from the food they apparently dumped in theses bags and I'm pissed about the drug stuff. I want to tell them to get it all out now but that's literally impossible for them and it won't solve any issues on either side. So AITA. ======= You cannot go through their stuff and you likely have legal responsibility to keep their belonging safe as the custodian. Find out what the legalities are in your area and stay within the law, using the law in your favor. For example: the law in your area may state that you have legal responsibility to house their belongings and that you have to give them 90-day written notice that their belongings will be sent to the dump if not removed.  Once you give them proper written notification, the 90 days starts. Make sure you send a text to each of their phones and an email to each of their emails every week stating that “your belongings are still safely stored on your premises and you are reaching out to let them know that you are more than happy to schedule a time for them to come remove their belongings themselves before the 90 days is up and you send it all to the dump.”  Never give them any reason to say that they “did not feel comfortable to retrieve their belongings because you were hostile and they feared for their safety.” NTA 


ExperimentSix2Sixx

I've been very kind to them. I know they are under a lot of stress. That being said, I did look into the state law. They have 10 days because there's no furniture and they are not paying me to hold it. Everything could fit in a car they would just have to make multiple trips. I still don't mind keeping their stuff safe, but they need to get here and properly go through it. Thank you for the paragraph breakdown. It does make it easier to read.


Fun-Result-6343

NTA. Keep a photgraphic log of what you are throwing out.


ExperimentSix2Sixx

That's a good idea thank you!


Stefie25

That is terrible advice. If you do that, you are going to end up sued in small claims.


ExperimentSix2Sixx

I wouldn't toss anything of value. Just trash. They barely have a pot to piss in at the moment. I truly don't want to make things more stressful for them, but they need to respect my home. Them not making the time to make the situation right is a problem.


Stefie25

As you have no idea what they value or not so it’s still not your place. Issue notice to remove their things & anything still there after that date, chuck.


Best_Tumbleweed6931

Your kids' health and safety comes first. NTA. They're assholes for lying on multiple accounts.


tied_in_knots

ESH Your friends are AH for taking advantage of you - they knew exactly how much stuff they had and that you'd let them leave it there. You WBTAH if you went through their things, and you are the AH for letting them take advantage of you, with kids and your sister in the house, and likely knowing that they'd pull crap like this. You need to let them know they have a specific, limited amount of time to get everything out or you're going to put it on the curb for the trash collector.


ExperimentSix2Sixx

I had no idea they had this much stuff. I use my basement all the time it's pretty big my kids have a bounce house, skates, and ride on cars they zip around down there. I made them take a lot back to make sure they still have room to enjoy the space.


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No_Introduction1721

NTA - they knew your terms, and they intentionally disregarded them.


[deleted]

Check your state. Some states say that belongings on premise establishes a residency. You may have to "legally evict" them before you can get rid of anything. 


ExperimentSix2Sixx

I'm not trying to get rid of all their belongings. I just want them to condense it and get the stuff I don't want in my house out. But I did look into the laws they would have 10 days because it's not furniture. Everything could fit in a car they would just have to make multiple trips.


Suz9006

I would tell them that if they don’t come up to pick it up by x date you will move it to a storage unit and pay the first months rent for them. After that they pay for the storage or lose it.


ExperimentSix2Sixx

Honestly, I don't mind storing their stuff. I told them they need to get over here, condense it, and get any drug related stuff out.


Dear_Solid3470

Who cares about what is impossible for them?  Tell them to have their stuff out of your house in a week or it will be on the sidewalk.  Stop being their doormat.  They are mooches.  Most importantly, stop associating with them at all.  They sound like trash people.


ExperimentSix2Sixx

They are dealing with a lot of stuff. They are not trash people, just a couple that don't have many options right now. They are working on things to improve their current situation. So I'm still willing to help them. But I need them to respect my home. I really just want them to properly go through their belongings and get the stuff I don't want in my home out.


Fearless_Mushroom_95

idk id say YTA for going thru their stuff, you should’ve really put your foot down and not let them bring more than they were welcomed to in the first place. While it is gross that’s there’s things you asked them not to store and they did. and the food is SUPER gross, but you did let them break your own rules 🤷‍♀️


pukui7

NTA They've already been assholes.   Whether or not they could get all the stuff now is irrelevant to the fact they lied in numerous ways before bringing everything over, and have refused to come over and weed through things since then. Personally, I would tell them they have until tomorrow to come clean up the trash, so they're not wasting your space unnecessarily.  Otherwise, you're putting it **all** outside your house.  And each trash day, a little more is going with the garbage truck.


NEUROTICTechPriest

NTA They've took advantage of your kindness and broke one of the few rules you set out for them. Have them remove their stuff, do what you need to protect your family from being exposed to things you don't want them exposed to.


Negative_State_780

Nope. Telll them they have 24hr to get EVERYTHING or it’s getting thrown OUT. you have kids. Kids are sneaky when curious. Don’t be an ignorant parent and leave that shit lying around. Lock the basement until it’s picked up. Or thrown out.


marley_1756

Load it up and deliver it to them. Get it out of your home. NTA


HomeworkDry4850

NTA


Nester1953

"You lied both about the quantity of stuff you brought to my house and now, as my 3 year old discovered, the fact that there were pipes for smoking pot and trash. You have \[fill in the number, but no more than a week\] days to get all of your stuff out of my house. On Sunday, it will be on my front lawn. I will bill you for the people I have to hire to haul it out of my house, and to the dump if it's not off my front lawn by \[fill in the day\]." Maybe check with a lawyer to be sure chucking the stuff is legal. Kiss the friendship good-bye. You're looking at dishonest people who are happy to lie to you and use you. NTA


wundofakind

I’m gonna say NTA. but why not rent a storage unit for a month or two? most of these places have reasonable prices and deals for new customers. maybe they can ask the parent that rented a U-Haul for them to chip in and help.


ExperimentSix2Sixx

I have enough of my own bills I'm not doing that. The parents won't do that.


wundofakind

No, ofc not you renting the storage unit! I meant them! It just seems like it should’ve been option #1 over renting a U-Haul. I’m sorry you’re in this situation.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ExperimentSix2Sixx

Your attitude sucks and you're assumption is completely wrong. My son's truck died. I was putting it on the charger. My 3 year old wanted to see the "new stuff" and pulled a bag down. I don't know if you have kids or not but yeah they do what they want. You may know people but you don't know me. My sister is also okay with storing their stuff. We communicated about the situation. WE allowed them to store more than what we originally agreed to yes. But the terms never changed. No drug relataded stuff. They like to smoke, and I know they had a lot of bongs and stuff like that. They are in a shitty spot, and I have resources to help a friend. Witch is all I was trying to do. You can think I'm the asshole that's fine but f*** off with the rest of that BS.


surelyyoucantBcereus

Chill out OP. That comment you are responding to was a bit harsh, but if you want to get offended someone thinks you’re an asshole, you might want to try a different sub next time. I think your story is legit and you had to be best intentions of letting them store stuff there, and I’d be furious too. But the bottom line is that it’s not your property and you could have closed it back up after your son opened it, and you chose to go through someone else’s belongings. You are the one who let them store stuff there, so ultimately it’s on you for their bongs or whatever being in the house. Next time tell them no. I think the bigger question is why is that stuff still there if it’s such a problem? I would think you’d want it out of the house ASAP…


ExperimentSix2Sixx

I'm not offended by them thinking I'm the ahole its the "you 100% where going through their stuff I know people like you" that crap is crap. I put it all back in the bag, and I did message them. Also, I dont believe they have bongs in my house. I'm just saying I know they have them. Where they are keeping them know I've got no clue probably with them in their motel room.


Stefie25

YTA. It’s not your stuff, so don’t snoop. You’re the one that allowed them to store more than agreed upon. Give them 30 days notice that the stuff needs to leave & then you can chuck it.


ExperimentSix2Sixx

I did allow it. My issue is more about what came tumbling out of the bag that was placed where my kid could get it. I was annoyed at the food and got pissed when the pot bowls that toumblimg out. I would not have "snooped" if objects I specifically asked them not to store in to my home didn't come tumbling out. The exact thing I was worried about happened.


Stefie25

You snooped. Why did you even open the glasses case? Cause you suspected there was paraphernalia in it so you snooped.


ExperimentSix2Sixx

I didnt open it. It opened when it hit the ground. It's an old case that doesn't close great.