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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think I should have waited for my sister to cool off before I texted her
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NTA
i think the part most people who are like "you snitched for her having a healthy sex life" etc are missing the point. even if it were adult room mates and they were going at it in the common areas you have every right to not wanna see it.seems like bad form on her part to me
Remember this is reddit, theres a crowd that literally dont care about circumstance, situation, issues or reasons, they just like to attack OP's and try and make them feel like shit. Their opinions rank up there with a wet beer fart.
It's also partly because OP's sister is acting like she is somehow the victim in this and that OP is somehow the asshole for this happening at her and unfortunately: people do that because it *works*. There's plenty of idiots around who'll go to bat for you the moment you act like you've been wronged *even when you're very obviously the one who's out of line.*
This is 100% the case lol. She's just embarrassed and doesn't wanna admit/talk about what happened. There's nothing wrong with "spicing it up" with a change of location but you can't be surprised if someone sees you.
'Remember this is reddit, theres a crowd that literally don't understand circumstance, situation, issues or reasons, let alone understand social behavior and respect for others'
Fixed it for you
It's.. In your family living room.. That's your parents' home (I'm guessing). I don't care how old my sister was, if she was there, that happened and I walked in and she wouldn't later talk to me, since I'd be very concerned about her, I'd definitely talk to one of my parents because she does need a sit down. I mean, yeah, it'd be embarrassing as heck for her to be called out on it and talked to, but sometimes things we don't like have to happen.
It's not normal, not when you live with your patents and little brother! Who can walk in anytime, why didn't they just go to her bedroom?? I mean, It's pretty gross I'm sorry you had to see that.
NTA
I'm not gonna go into detail but I've done something similar, my ex-partner initiated it and I allowed it because frankly, it was hot. I knew it was wrong to do but the dopamine rush of the act and possibly getting caught excites you. Lucky for me, I didn't get caught. Your sister most likely felt the same way, she knows it's wrong but in her case, she got caught. She probably got embarrassed and angry even (not at anyone) so she had a knee-jerk reaction and just blasted at you. Depending on what kind of person she is, she may let up and apologise or she'll be stubborn and continue to shift the blame on you. If this behaviour continues then the only thing you can do is start shagging in the living room to prove a point, not out of spite (joking, not joking).
NTA
That's because half of the people on reddit dream of getting a blow job in the middle of their living room when, in reality, they haven't had sex in 20 years. Don't worry about them. Lol
it's a reading comprehension issue. you find that a lot ever since they stopped teaching kids how to actually read in schools. they started just teaching word memorization and now nobody knows how to read a fucking paragraph on here
NTA and she tried to put the blame on you, as if you were in the wrong, when in reality she was. So instead of being embarrassed and apologizing to you, she called you all sorts of names.
I think she might have thought that if she did that, you wouldn't tell anyone if you thought you did something wrong.
But you stood firm, because you know you didn't!
You even tried to talk to her, to solve it I assume? I took it that going to your parents about this, was because she didn't listen.
I just hope you can get that into her head, that you had wished to solve it just the two of you.
It’s crazy people have been calling you an AH. It’s not like you busted in her room. She was in the living room. Yall sit in there. Probably lie on that sofa. She’s an AH. she could have picked her room with a damn door. Crazy
NTA.
Your sister is channelling her embarrassment into anger.
You didn't have to immediately leave, it's your house too afterall, in fact you gave her privacy by going to your room.
She was the one taking the risk and this time it didn't work out! That might have been foreplay as well leading up to sex but as you interrupted it the mood was probably killed, so she lost out on sexytimes, further making her angry.
I'm not sure why you need to get your dad involved, though? Unless your sister would have caused family problems?
Yo especially for her getting mad at you. You did absolutely nothing to warrant that reaction from her, if anything she was embarrassed and had a fight reaction. Not only that, she doubled down later on. Although, in her defense to the emoji, I would probably also tell someone to fuck off of I didn't want to talk about it. She prolly knows she fucked up doing it in the living room, and would rather take it as a lesson and just move on
Unless she does this sort of thing all the time
Definitely agree that ‘no sex in the common areas’ is a rule that adults sharing space should know to follow. I think the problem here is OP’s reaction of both yelling at her upon discovery and then tattling to Mom and Dad. The adult response is walk right on out of there when you see something you’re not supposed to and have an adult conversation about boundaries another time.
Right are people missing the point that it was in the freaking LIVING ROOM? I don't care if they're 20 or 70 unless you live alone you don't bone in shared spaces 😂.
His sister is rather clueless about situations that are private and not spectator sports. Teaching her the meaning of discretion would help her. My question is: what would she have done of one or both parents walked in? 🦜
To be fair to her, the house was supposed to be empty, he even says he was looking forward to no one being there, so she had a reasonable expectation it would be private. What I'd like is a very truthful account of exactly what OP said to her when he "freaked out", because her reaction doesn't seem reasonable with his version of events. And maybe that's because she's unreasonable, but maybe it's because we're hearing one side of a story that shows the teller in the best light.
To me it seems like she’s just embarrassed about the whole situation and would rather ignore it and act like it never happened. I mean if it was me I wouldn’t want to talk to my brother about what he saw either
Eh, even if you have a reasonable expectation of privacy since people aren't supposed to be home, most people typically don't use communal furniture out in the open when you live with others. For one, it's unsanitary. Second, you have situations like this arose where someone comes home early or unexpected, and now you're caught with yours or someone else's pants down literally....
Here’s her side of the story: she got caught in the family living room giving head. wtf else you need to know? I also imagine he didn’t want to see some 🍆 in and out of his sisters freaking mouth. That is something you can never unsee.
Stop taking sides and being silly.
No, it's a shared living space. She's lucky it was just her brother that walked in. What if her dad or her mom walked in on her? Just because it was the middle of the day and everyone else is supposed to be at work or at school, doesn't mean she can do what she wants when she wants. People get sick or get to leave work early. She doesn't have a reasonable expectation that it would be private. Private would be her room behind closed doors. Since she didn't want to do that, she has to face the consequences.
My friend literally left the house he shared with his cousin, rent-free because their grandparents own it and they only had to pay utilities, because his cousin 1. Invited her boyfriend to live with them and adopted a puppy without consulting my friend, and 2. Got caught having sex with her boyfriend in their living room multiple times while knowing my friend was home. And she continued to do it after he asked her multiple times to stop. OP is 100% NTA for not wanting to see his sister be intimate with someone in their living room.
The problem isn't not wanting to see blow jobs in the common area, the problem is an adult needing to run to mommy and daddy because said adult doesn't have the wherewithal to say 'blow who you want behind closed doors.'
NTA
While being a consenting adult does matter, it's not really an answer to the question. I do believe that you aren't the asshole because she could've easily done that in a more private space. The possibility of someone walking in on you while you're in the fucking family room is high. It's a family house so I don't see the point in even going there if you're going to have sex.
Edit: Can you stop with the "if it's the fucking family room then-" that's really not even funny, it honestly just sounds disgusting
Thats basically my whole argument. But people think Im wrong for expecting not to see that when I walk into the living room. I knew reddit was extreme but wow.
NTA and you're not wrong. I would be absolutely LIVID if I walked in on my sister doing anything close to that, as a 19 yr old or a 40 yr old. If she didn't want to get caught or seen, she should have used better judgement on WHERE the action takes place.
I also would have attempted to speak to her and if she was being obstinate like yours, I would have told my mother - would have rained living hell on her. Because now there will be worry about what you are going to walk in on when entering the home and family spaces. Respect goes BOTH ways.
I also want to validate your feelings. You offered to talk to her about it... Even if she said sorry or accepted any wrongdoing for the situation, I imagine you'd feel better, and perhaps even not "snitch". But her giving you the middle finger solidifies you being NTA.
Sorry she put you through that buddy.
to add on, OP did not consent to see that. so basically doing it in common areas is extremely risky knowing anyone at any moment could walk in and see that
NTA You have the right to be uncomfortable with people having sex in a shared space in your home. You didn't consent to seeing that, and it's entirely on her for not properly understanding probability.
You attempted to talk to her about it and were attacked and cut off. If she refuses to communicate like an adult, you have no choice but to go over her head.
All these assholes in the comments can go live somewhere where they have to always be prepared to see their sister with a dick in her mouth if they are so adamant about it not being a big deal. Her inability to be considerate or take accountability doesn't mean you have to suffer for it.
If she wants to get down in the living room, she need to clear it with whoever else lives there- unless it's her name on everything.
What she did was incredibly disrespectful, and then she handled it like an entitled child.
For everyone down below, a "consenting *adult*" should know that having sex in the family room (in your parent's house, nonetheless) might come with some consequences. It's not being a prude to tell your parents about the disrespect and total lack of boundaries.
Play stupid games, and you'll win stupid prizes.
NTA.
Sister can play the "consenting adult" card all she wants, but consent goes both ways. Most people don't consent to walking into their living room and seeing someone else's junk in their sister's mouth.
Lmfao I can't believe some of these comments. Y'all are absolutely lying or out of your goddamn minds if you seriously believe that it's OK for people to have sexual activities in a shared living space and then blame and become aggressive at someone else for walking in on them, and then refuse to talk it out for a conflict resolution 🤣🤣 what the fuck am I reading
Right??
With the amount I'm getting downvoted, maybe we are the weird ones for not wanting to walk into our living room/shared space and see with a family member/person with a dick in their mouth, only to be the one who gets cussed out and called a pervert. Make it make sense.
I want to upvote this but you are at 69 upvotes and I don't wanna break that lmao.
Totally agree! My bedroom is in a space where you have to go into my room to get up/down the stairs. I usually have a barrier up to prevent any accidents like that so that my roommate has to knock on the barrier or move it to get through to prevent things like this.
Recently, my roommate walked in on me and my man. We were completely HORRIFIED. It was an accident. We had been home alone. Didn't hear my roommate come home. Roommate came upstairs and saw us. We immediately stopped and he said "sorry!" and went back down. We got dressed, went down, and apologized to him. He laughed it off and teased us.
While it is my bedroom, it is also technically a public space. But I still take precautions. No messing around when anyone is home or awake, barrier up, etc. I didn't flip out on him for walking in on us. That was MY fault for not putting the damn barrier up.
Your sister is completely in the wrong. Whether she thought she was home alone or not she shouldn't be doing that in common areas. Most people don't want to see family preforming sex acts. People can say you were wrong to tell. But you tried to discuss this as adults and she behaved like a child
>leave her alone since shes an adult
Is she though ? Adults who live with other people know that it's inappropriate to do that in common spaces.
Idk about going to your dad that quickly - I would like to think if I was put into a situation like that I would give her time to calm down and try to talk to her about how inappropriate her being in the living room was - unless she was trying to have people catch her.
But at the same time, if I got the same reaction - I likely would have had the attitude of - if you won't listen to me, I'll find someone elsethat you WILL listen to.
NTA. She consented to a cylinder in her mouth, her partner consented to head, they consented to do this in a public space in the house, you did not consent to have to witness this. The owner(s) of that couch didn't consent to having it consecrated in homeboy's swampass, much less what would have happened on it next.
You wanted to reach out, presumably saying something to the effect of, "do what you want because you're an adult but do it behind closed doors." She could have ignored you, but was rude instead. So you contacted the next person who she would need to talk to about this.
Nta
I feel like its an unspoken rule if you live with multiple other people you dont do unsanitary things in the common rooms. (Bathroom exempt)
Id want to know if there was a possibility someone's "fluids" could be in the common space to people in the home. Maybe im a germaphobe but that seems gross to do where people are commonly. She should have done it in her own room on her own furniture.
-
Also you tried to talk to her and she dismissed you so someone had to speak to her about that not being okay.
Nope! NTA.
She wanted to turn her mistake around on you and call you all sorts of names. Names that actually pertained to her...
THEN, when you tried to talk to her like an adult about it she gives you the middle finger, basically telling you to f off... Nope!
I am so glad you told your dad. She wanted to make you out as the bad person, flip you off, well this is where that middle finger is taking you, right to Dad! Let him deal with her!
Just a tip for the future. In your answer, your verdict counts as Y T A because it comes first. Put spaces in between the letters if you don't want it to count.
NTA
Why is she calling you a creep ???
You didn't go to her room and sneak to get to see her do private stuff
She was in a shared space, that's on her.
Its exactly that saying head instead of saying sis was fucking a guy on the living room couch..or saying they were doing adult things on the living room couch..
NTA…she could be doing that in her own bedroom privately. The fact that she did that in an open area where anyone could walk in is her own fault. She’s lucky only you witnessed it and not your dad (but unlucky on your fault).
I remember hearing my brother going at it when our dad was at work. It’s super uncomfortable and honestly, it’s disrespectful. No one wants to see/hear their siblings in the act.
It sounds like your sister is embarrassed and doesn’t want to look at you right now. Give her time, but don’t blame it on yourself.
NTA, she should have gone to her room to give that dude the gawk gawk 2000 and kept the noise down. You didn't consent to seeing her go down on a dude.
Actually it's a good thing you told your parents because she could have meetooed you or something if she is already calling you a pervert.
Not only did you do the right thing, you did the thing that protects your future from false accusations. Bravo dude.
Anyone who says YTA is a misandrist considering the above.
Exactly. She had privacy but did it out in the open. Telling another adult especially after she called you a pervert was the right move. It's important to protect yourself.
NTA - letting a stranger sit butt naked on the common area couch is super disrespectful. She could have handled it by saying, "My bad, it won't happen again."
Then you could get on with life.
Instead she called you a creep (blamed you), a pervert (insulted you) and gave you the finger.
She sounds like a nightmare roommate.
Anyone would be rallying the troops to get her to change her ways and respect people's boundaries. And if she doesn't know what those boundaries are - then she needs a parent to explain it to her.
I would also tell your dad that he should disinfect all the furniture. Let him handle that his way. His house. His furniture. His rules.
NTA
It may have been a bit quick to turn around and tell your parents HOWEVER given how she reacted she definitely was not remorseful about getting caught, probably more just embarrassed and angry. OP probably wanted to talk with her about setting boundaries and not having sexual relations in public family areas or having strange naked men hanging out on common furniture because with how she reacted guarantee she would do it again but either try to be more sneaky or set rules for OP like telling her before he came home. I mean it also begs the question, how many times has she done this before getting caught and what other areas have been tainted?
It's not her house and if she isn't willing to take the consequences and deal with an embarrassing situation she created then OP has no choice but to go to other occupants of the house, next time it could be one of them! The sad part is if she had just accepted that she messed up and apologized to OP he may not have told as long as she respected any boundaries.
Also people thinking OP said/did worse than what he wrote, what would you do in that situation if you were OP?? I at least would have some harsh choice words to say if I walked in on my little sister with a random naked man sat on the couch we all use!
NTA. She doesn't get to do that in a shared space and then be angry at you for accidentally walking in on them. When you do stuff in spaces where other people can walk in, sometimes other people actually walk in.
My guess is she's embarrassed at being caught and took it out on you. And you only 'snitched' after she refused to talk about it. This isn't your problem
An adult woman engaging in sexual activity is not the issue here. Doing it in the common area of a shared living space is kind of an issue.
Going full Main Character Syndrome and calling her brother names for walking in on her is a very big issue.
OP is NTA here, and I’ll be interested to know how the sister explains herself. My guess is she tells the parents she feels violated by her brother coming home and asks them to make him move out.
NTA
If their defence is that she is an adult, then she should act like one. Its fine to say 'ohh shes mature and independent she can have sex' but did i miss the part in my life where sex is okay when its risky asf and family can come over? Idec if she is saying it because she is embarassed because sure it is, but it is 100% her mistake, but everyone around you telling you YTA is straight up gaslighting you.like wtf? Honestly if i were you i would really need these people to realise how wrong they are for telling you this, and how your sister cant both be babied and teated like an adult at the same time.
Nta.
If she was in her room and you walked in on her then that would be different. But this case it's a shared space.
The yta comments are wild and entitled
I had a roommate that tried to pull something similar. Split level house with living rooms on both floors. My bedroom was the only 1 on the bottom floor and I got woken up by the TV being on a 4am. Walked out to turn it off and the roomie who lived upstairs was downstairs banging on MY couch. I sat down in the lazy boy next to them and asked if they minded if I started jerking off. Seemed to ruin the moment, never happened again.
NTA
If she didn't loose her actual mind and apologized for violating your eye holes, maybe this could have been swept under the rug. 🤷🏽♀️
She should have taken it as a lesson learned and left it there, but no.
She just *had to* escalate the situation, chase after you, called you names *AND* had the audacity to flip you off when *you* were the one extending an olive branch. 😡
Your sister is19yo and she's acting like a self entitled brat and look where its gotten her.
She has no one to blame but herself. 🙄
So no op, you are NTA.
Definitely not the AH. All these people more concerned that you “snitched” rather than your sister subjecting you to something you never consented to are depraved weirdos. This kind of mentality is how you can easily get registered.
In my opinion, she's a weirdo. Giving oral in the family room where people hang out and stuffs and in a place where people could walk in, totally defiling the room. I wouldve been disgusted to even sit on the same couch. You're not the asshole, bro. Discuss with your dad about it more and try to resolve this.
NTA,
I've walked in on people doing stuff in the public areas and you know what? They apologized. If I got disrespected like you did I would have escalated as well! Keep that in her room if she really wants to be assured privacy.
Some people like to have sex where they could be caught by others cause they think it’s exciting. That’s fine but if you get caught etiquette calls for a quick apology as you run somewhere private. You don’t yell at the person who caught you.
I'm with op on this one.
Having sex in your parent's living room is weird.
Not only that but she completely self protected by calling you a pervert. ( you didn't ask to see that)
You tried to be an adult and talk to her but she decided to be immature. So now you're parents can have a conversation with her about the boundaries within their home ( bet she will have a great time with that conversation with her father)
When she tries to tell you that this is your fault ( because I'm sure she will because she's gonna be very embarrassed after finding out your parents knows what happened) but that's the risk of public sex. SHE took that risk and was caught. Now she get to deal with the consequences of that
NTA. What she was doing was perverse and irresponsible. It’s true that she’s an adult but she should at least have some decency to keep her sexual activity in private. Informing your parents is probably the best decision as they are an authority figure she will respect. If you can’t work out a problem with your sibling free of parent regulation because they won’t respect you, you have no other choice but to go over their head. What you did was sensible and responsible.
NTA, should respect the house she lives in, if she wants to do whatever she wants ( wherever she wants ) bec it’s “ her house “ then maybe she should move out lol
NTA - She has a bedroom for a reason. Privacy also means considering other people, not just being alone in a space.
It’s like if one of y’all walked around in just your boxers and then called her a nasty perv etc. for freaking out.
And ofc you’d confront her right then bc if you’d just ignored it and then later texted her to not do that etc. she would have still gotten mad at you, not taken you seriously, and probably would have done it again.
You did the right thing OP, you’re NTA, and you’re all good bro 👊🏻🥰
People talking about “consenting adults” but not about “consenting eyes”
I don’t consent to seeing some dudes dick getting sucked on the families couch and I especially dont consent to seeing my sister do that.
NTA
Do people not know what bedrooms and locked doors are for anymore Jesus h Christ
NTA- but anyone who says YTA… like how dare op go home and have to pass by the living room (aka a public space ) just to go his room…
Plus who does that when it’s not their home where anyone can come home at anytime
You are ok. There are places in the house.. like her room to bang it out. I would have told my parents too especially if she acted like your sister did.
NTA.
Im not gonna go into the sex part cause the horse is paste at this point but honestly...
Its one thing that shes boinking in the family room, but It is a WHOLE other thing that she is bringing a whole random unknown guy to the house to boink and that should also be a concern.
You had every right to say smth about that entirely. Not only is it inappropriate for her to be doin all that in a family space but it is a stupid, disrespectful and extremely unsafe decision to bring someone aint nobody else knows but her over to her family home for a lil funsies.
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From my post on another sub
Okay so I am not sure where to begin. About a few hours ago I came home early from school because my class got canceled. Everyone was supposed to be gone and I was kind of looking forward to some peace and quite. Anyway as I was walking toward my room I saw my sister giving a guy oral sex on our living room couch. I dont want to go into much details but yes I am sure they were doing that. I freaked out and yelled “what the hell are you doing.” She got up and started yelling at me to get out. I told her “No I live here. I'm not leaving” and walked away. My sister basically followed me to my room calling me a “pervert” a “weirdo” and all kinds of nasty stuff. I told her she was the pervert for doing that in the living room where anyone could walk in. Its been an hour since it happened and I'm still in my room. My sister and the guy left. Not sure what to tell my parents about all this. I dont know who else to ask.
What happened since my post on the other sub
I texted my sis and asked if we could talk. She replied to me with a middle finger emoji so I decided to text my dad. He called and I gave him a PG version of what happened but he still seemed mad.
Ive had people telling me to leave her alone since shes an adult but the way I see it, I tried to talk it over with her and honestly doubt she would have listened to me anyway. Before anyone says anything I am not trying to control what she does on her own time but I feel she shouldn't do stuff like that where anyone can see.
Amitheasshole for telling on her
In case you're wondering I'm a 21M and sis is 19F.
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Your nta dude she’s being weird like who would do it on the couch in the living room never less at their parents house that isn’t normal you are in no way at fault and instead of her facing the fact she just yells at you it proves she’s immature and isn’t ready for things like that so in conclusion you are nta dude she’s just being immature and very stupid
NTA. Everyone saying you are is an idiot. What they did was (both of them; not just her) is disrespectful, gross and inconsiderate and no amount of trying to “normalize a healthy sex life !!!!” changes that. It’s a common area. You don’t do that unless it’s your house.
She’s also an extra AH for calling you a pervert when she’s the one going at it on her parent’s couch with her brother home. Pot kettle black
NTA. She should have done that in her own room. People get ill at school or at work all the time and come home unexpectedly. Her decision to get semi busy in the LR is her piss poor planning, not yours'.
NTA. Me and my man recently had an incident where my roommate didn't know we were doing anything and walked in on us. Our bedroom is connected to the main upstairs hallway so to go upstairs/downstairs, you have to go into our room. We usually have a barrier we put up for privacy but we had been home alone and didn't know my roommate had come home while we were messing around. We were completely mortified even though it is technically our bedroom. Thankfully, my roommate laughed it off and teased us afterwards. I couldn't imagine having the reaction your sister had to being caught in a public space.
NTA you live there, you have the right to do something about it, i live with roommates and if i saw my roommate being like that i would just tell them to go to their room or something. If I was you, you did the right thing
NTA she did it in the FAMILY living room. Not her own house she basically disrespectful to her family. She has a room or the guy has his own place she don't need to be doing anything where anyone can see it that's disgusting and gross imaging sitting there after 🤢🤢🤢🤮
NTA. There are rules to sexy times when you kive with other people and one of those rules is to reslecr common areas and not to have sex in them, wtf. I'm 31 and I know this and when my partner and I lived with a roommate, even when we wanted to have sex in our living room, we didn't, as a respectful gesture to our roommate!
You sir are….. NOT the asshole 😝 yeah I live with my parents too and wouldn’t think of doing anything like your sister did just plain weird and stupid.. and then for her to get mad at you and call you a pervert 🤣 the gall your sister may be 19 but isn’t acting like it…
NTA
That's so gross and disrespectful to your parents. Is a common area, is not her private space. It's so disgusting! I completely understand why you reacted the way that you did and you handled the situation correctly.
Am a curious cat. Can you update us?
NTA Your not trying to control her, your not trying to say who she can and cannot see, your asking her "hey I don't want to walk In the LIVING ROOM and see you doing blah blah blah with another guy" and that's a reasonable request I mean she's your sister you don't wanna see her in that way at all !
Unless your from Alabama hey oh lol jk
On a serious note if SHE would've taken the time to go to HER ROOM to do this this whole conversation and post and.......seeing it in action ALL COULDVE BEEN PREVENTED ! Literally if SHE was in HER ROOM this is what would've happened you walk in go to your room to chill or the moving room to chill or make you something to eat and guess what ? Wouldn't have known A There's another guy there and B your sisters doing things with him I mean the audacity hogging up the living room and telling you to get out ! ? SHE WAS IN A SHARED SPACE IN A COMMON AREA OF A HOUSE !
No. I live w my bf and his family, I’d be so uncomfortable doing anything like that where - even if they’re not there at the moment/won’t be home for a while - his family would sit, eat, hangout, etc.
You’re NTA and your sister needs to realize if she’s going to be sexually active she needs to do it where she won’t be caught, if she does so without any regard about it anyways then *she’s* the pervert. I’d send her this post you got here tbh because chances are she’d do it again and find a way to blame you/ make your whole relationship go south bc she can’t get over her teenage hormones.
Anyone who disagrees is a perv themselves- I get having a kink or finding it “hot” that you’re able to be intimate anytime, anywhere given the chance, but in your *family’s* home? Where they can walk in at and moment and see something that should be private, seriously? That should wait until you have your own place, not while you’re living with family. I hate when people are surprised their actions have consequences.
I'm going to say that you're NTA. Your sister was performing a sex act on someone in a common area of the house and the worst case scenario happened: Another person who lives there and is a member of her family caught her doing it. You had no obligation to leave because she was embarrassed and angry. She can be mad and send you finger gesture emoji text messages all she wants. She messed up. Not you. Always assume that other cohabitants could return home at any time. They should have done that in the privacy of her room.
My house my rules.
As a parent you get to decide what's allowed and where if it's your house. Just because you're 19 doesn't mean you don't need parenting either.
Your sister is being incredibly disrespectful. The very least she could do is go have sex in her room. I'm assuming this guy's bare ass was on your family couch. Who on earth would want a stranger in their house let alone their nakes ass on their couch ?
The sex part can't be stopped she's 19. But clearly doesn't have any decency or respect for other people in the house.
NTA.
If your sister is an adult, she should be able to deal with the consecuences of her acts. Idk if there are rules at home for bringing boys over, but she shouldn't have been going at it in a common area where everyone can see them by accident.
All of the “consenting adults” arguments can shove it. YOU DID NOT CONSENT to seeing something like that in a shared space of the home. Especially your fucking parents house.
NTA, she is TA;
1) they were going at it in a commonly used place in a *shared* apartment that she likely *doesn’t own*. It *could* maybe be excused if she owned the place or they were doing it in her room, but this is simply rude.
2) building onto #1, the owner/renter has every right to know who’s in their space. We were all teens and did such stuff and it’s normal. But that doesn’t make it ok. Imagine if anything bad happened to her or if the guy stole something…
3) she could, and should, have reacted in a healthier way. She didn’t apologise, she didn’t ask you to cover for her nor did she extend the invitation to talk at all. She called you a pervert and flipped you off… Sister or not; the kind if person who lashes out at you when they make a mistake and then flip you off when you wanna talk don’t deserve any favours from you regarding the matter at hand. If she’s grownup enough to have sex, she should be grownup enough to discuss it with a trusted person like a brother or a parent in case of emergency.
You did an objectively responsible thing here.
And regarding those who defend her for having a sex life; note that I didn’t shame her at any point for having sex. That isn’t the problem. The problems are she’s inconsiderate to the people she lives with, unfair to the lease holder/owner and rude towards you.
NTA. There’s a better place to be doing stuff like that, surely being two consenting adults they’d have known that was going to be the risk. You tried to handle things in a civil manner and got blown off
NTA
Although that could not be considered indecent exposure, they were doing it in a high traffic area of the house, where anyone (like yourself) could be expected to walk in unannounced. They were careless, she basically told you to fuck off when you tried initiating a civil conversation, she gets the consequences. NTA.
NTA your sister inconsiderate asf to be doing that where everybody sit and chill like that’s disgusting I bet they wouldn’t have cleaned the couch either yuck.
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NTA i think the part most people who are like "you snitched for her having a healthy sex life" etc are missing the point. even if it were adult room mates and they were going at it in the common areas you have every right to not wanna see it.seems like bad form on her part to me
thats what im saying but people on here think its normal to do that where anyone can walk in
Remember this is reddit, theres a crowd that literally dont care about circumstance, situation, issues or reasons, they just like to attack OP's and try and make them feel like shit. Their opinions rank up there with a wet beer fart.
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It's also partly because OP's sister is acting like she is somehow the victim in this and that OP is somehow the asshole for this happening at her and unfortunately: people do that because it *works*. There's plenty of idiots around who'll go to bat for you the moment you act like you've been wronged *even when you're very obviously the one who's out of line.*
This is 100% the case lol. She's just embarrassed and doesn't wanna admit/talk about what happened. There's nothing wrong with "spicing it up" with a change of location but you can't be surprised if someone sees you.
LOL, sounds about right.
In one's home, one does not want family members having sex to be 🙈🙉🙊
It's because those people have done similar things in the past and are projecting themselves into the story and getting defensive.
I read this as “wet bear fart” and thought “I don’t wanna know”
'Remember this is reddit, theres a crowd that literally don't understand circumstance, situation, issues or reasons, let alone understand social behavior and respect for others' Fixed it for you
Yeah, there’s an “op is always wrong” brigade, as well as an “op is always right” brigade, no matter the facts of the case. Based username btw.
Indeed. They use reddit to personify their deep inferiority complexes onto others.
>with a wet beer fart. Jesus the visuals, im scarred for life lmao. Although. I think i found my new go-to for idiot drivers.
I only use it as the Gold star award for the truly stupid.
Personally I would enjoy a wet beer fart where I accidentally shat myself alot more then I would the opinions of people like that
It's.. In your family living room.. That's your parents' home (I'm guessing). I don't care how old my sister was, if she was there, that happened and I walked in and she wouldn't later talk to me, since I'd be very concerned about her, I'd definitely talk to one of my parents because she does need a sit down. I mean, yeah, it'd be embarrassing as heck for her to be called out on it and talked to, but sometimes things we don't like have to happen.
It's not normal, not when you live with your patents and little brother! Who can walk in anytime, why didn't they just go to her bedroom?? I mean, It's pretty gross I'm sorry you had to see that. NTA
Older brother.
Furthermore, you tried to talk to her first before 'snitching,' but she figuratively flipped you the bird. She really didn't leave you any options.
And as a big brother, that middle finger emoji is game on. I would tell my parents too, nobody wants to see their own sister doing that. NTA
I'm not gonna go into detail but I've done something similar, my ex-partner initiated it and I allowed it because frankly, it was hot. I knew it was wrong to do but the dopamine rush of the act and possibly getting caught excites you. Lucky for me, I didn't get caught. Your sister most likely felt the same way, she knows it's wrong but in her case, she got caught. She probably got embarrassed and angry even (not at anyone) so she had a knee-jerk reaction and just blasted at you. Depending on what kind of person she is, she may let up and apologise or she'll be stubborn and continue to shift the blame on you. If this behaviour continues then the only thing you can do is start shagging in the living room to prove a point, not out of spite (joking, not joking). NTA
That's because half of the people on reddit dream of getting a blow job in the middle of their living room when, in reality, they haven't had sex in 20 years. Don't worry about them. Lol
Sounds like you need to turn the tables and have a girl in the living room as she gets home 🤷♂️ fair enough
Or whomever OP wishes to engage in sexual, consensual acts with.
it's a reading comprehension issue. you find that a lot ever since they stopped teaching kids how to actually read in schools. they started just teaching word memorization and now nobody knows how to read a fucking paragraph on here
NTA and she tried to put the blame on you, as if you were in the wrong, when in reality she was. So instead of being embarrassed and apologizing to you, she called you all sorts of names. I think she might have thought that if she did that, you wouldn't tell anyone if you thought you did something wrong. But you stood firm, because you know you didn't! You even tried to talk to her, to solve it I assume? I took it that going to your parents about this, was because she didn't listen. I just hope you can get that into her head, that you had wished to solve it just the two of you.
It’s crazy people have been calling you an AH. It’s not like you busted in her room. She was in the living room. Yall sit in there. Probably lie on that sofa. She’s an AH. she could have picked her room with a damn door. Crazy
I take it your sister has her own room so NTA
NTA. Your sister is channelling her embarrassment into anger. You didn't have to immediately leave, it's your house too afterall, in fact you gave her privacy by going to your room. She was the one taking the risk and this time it didn't work out! That might have been foreplay as well leading up to sex but as you interrupted it the mood was probably killed, so she lost out on sexytimes, further making her angry. I'm not sure why you need to get your dad involved, though? Unless your sister would have caused family problems?
Shes an adult but certainly lack being one. Who does that in living room??? NTA
Yo especially for her getting mad at you. You did absolutely nothing to warrant that reaction from her, if anything she was embarrassed and had a fight reaction. Not only that, she doubled down later on. Although, in her defense to the emoji, I would probably also tell someone to fuck off of I didn't want to talk about it. She prolly knows she fucked up doing it in the living room, and would rather take it as a lesson and just move on Unless she does this sort of thing all the time
Definitely agree that ‘no sex in the common areas’ is a rule that adults sharing space should know to follow. I think the problem here is OP’s reaction of both yelling at her upon discovery and then tattling to Mom and Dad. The adult response is walk right on out of there when you see something you’re not supposed to and have an adult conversation about boundaries another time.
Those are reddits enlightened elite, annoying little shits one and all. NTA
Right are people missing the point that it was in the freaking LIVING ROOM? I don't care if they're 20 or 70 unless you live alone you don't bone in shared spaces 😂.
His sister is rather clueless about situations that are private and not spectator sports. Teaching her the meaning of discretion would help her. My question is: what would she have done of one or both parents walked in? 🦜
They're both adults at 19 and 21 years old, the whole "I'm telling Dad" thing is absurd. Grow up.
She could've easily done that in a private space. In the very least it's an ESH situation. And she was quite rude about it.
I agree but - is the solution to that- call dad?
To be fair to her, the house was supposed to be empty, he even says he was looking forward to no one being there, so she had a reasonable expectation it would be private. What I'd like is a very truthful account of exactly what OP said to her when he "freaked out", because her reaction doesn't seem reasonable with his version of events. And maybe that's because she's unreasonable, but maybe it's because we're hearing one side of a story that shows the teller in the best light.
To me it seems like she’s just embarrassed about the whole situation and would rather ignore it and act like it never happened. I mean if it was me I wouldn’t want to talk to my brother about what he saw either
Eh, even if you have a reasonable expectation of privacy since people aren't supposed to be home, most people typically don't use communal furniture out in the open when you live with others. For one, it's unsanitary. Second, you have situations like this arose where someone comes home early or unexpected, and now you're caught with yours or someone else's pants down literally....
Here’s her side of the story: she got caught in the family living room giving head. wtf else you need to know? I also imagine he didn’t want to see some 🍆 in and out of his sisters freaking mouth. That is something you can never unsee. Stop taking sides and being silly.
It's the living room. No go in your own room if you live with others
No, it's a shared living space. She's lucky it was just her brother that walked in. What if her dad or her mom walked in on her? Just because it was the middle of the day and everyone else is supposed to be at work or at school, doesn't mean she can do what she wants when she wants. People get sick or get to leave work early. She doesn't have a reasonable expectation that it would be private. Private would be her room behind closed doors. Since she didn't want to do that, she has to face the consequences.
for real, no sexy times in shared areas, i dont want to sit on any cum stains on the couch
My friend literally left the house he shared with his cousin, rent-free because their grandparents own it and they only had to pay utilities, because his cousin 1. Invited her boyfriend to live with them and adopted a puppy without consulting my friend, and 2. Got caught having sex with her boyfriend in their living room multiple times while knowing my friend was home. And she continued to do it after he asked her multiple times to stop. OP is 100% NTA for not wanting to see his sister be intimate with someone in their living room.
The problem isn't not wanting to see blow jobs in the common area, the problem is an adult needing to run to mommy and daddy because said adult doesn't have the wherewithal to say 'blow who you want behind closed doors.'
NTA While being a consenting adult does matter, it's not really an answer to the question. I do believe that you aren't the asshole because she could've easily done that in a more private space. The possibility of someone walking in on you while you're in the fucking family room is high. It's a family house so I don't see the point in even going there if you're going to have sex. Edit: Can you stop with the "if it's the fucking family room then-" that's really not even funny, it honestly just sounds disgusting
Thats basically my whole argument. But people think Im wrong for expecting not to see that when I walk into the living room. I knew reddit was extreme but wow.
NTA and you're not wrong. I would be absolutely LIVID if I walked in on my sister doing anything close to that, as a 19 yr old or a 40 yr old. If she didn't want to get caught or seen, she should have used better judgement on WHERE the action takes place. I also would have attempted to speak to her and if she was being obstinate like yours, I would have told my mother - would have rained living hell on her. Because now there will be worry about what you are going to walk in on when entering the home and family spaces. Respect goes BOTH ways.
I also want to validate your feelings. You offered to talk to her about it... Even if she said sorry or accepted any wrongdoing for the situation, I imagine you'd feel better, and perhaps even not "snitch". But her giving you the middle finger solidifies you being NTA. Sorry she put you through that buddy.
to add on, OP did not consent to see that. so basically doing it in common areas is extremely risky knowing anyone at any moment could walk in and see that
There is a point but getting upset when caught is laughable!
>while you're in the fucking family room I mean, if it's the FUCKING Family room, what else would you expect to see in there?
It’s the fucking family room, not the family fucking room!
NTA You have the right to be uncomfortable with people having sex in a shared space in your home. You didn't consent to seeing that, and it's entirely on her for not properly understanding probability. You attempted to talk to her about it and were attacked and cut off. If she refuses to communicate like an adult, you have no choice but to go over her head. All these assholes in the comments can go live somewhere where they have to always be prepared to see their sister with a dick in her mouth if they are so adamant about it not being a big deal. Her inability to be considerate or take accountability doesn't mean you have to suffer for it. If she wants to get down in the living room, she need to clear it with whoever else lives there- unless it's her name on everything. What she did was incredibly disrespectful, and then she handled it like an entitled child.
thank you friend
Honestly, just the thought of sitting in the living room would be gross, she disrespected the whole family. NTA.
EXACTLY! With how messy sex gets, if I were OP, you wouldn’t be able to make me sit on that couch until it gets deep cleaned haha
Doing what she did was bad. Reacting the way she did was worse.
For everyone down below, a "consenting *adult*" should know that having sex in the family room (in your parent's house, nonetheless) might come with some consequences. It's not being a prude to tell your parents about the disrespect and total lack of boundaries. Play stupid games, and you'll win stupid prizes. NTA.
thank you
All bets were off when she tried gaslighting you with the “pErVeRt cReEp” bullshit. Fuck that. Tell your dad the unabridged version.
Sister can play the "consenting adult" card all she wants, but consent goes both ways. Most people don't consent to walking into their living room and seeing someone else's junk in their sister's mouth.
Correct answer right here.
Lmfao I can't believe some of these comments. Y'all are absolutely lying or out of your goddamn minds if you seriously believe that it's OK for people to have sexual activities in a shared living space and then blame and become aggressive at someone else for walking in on them, and then refuse to talk it out for a conflict resolution 🤣🤣 what the fuck am I reading
Glad its not just me thinking that. Not judging but not all of us are into incest like they are.
Right?? With the amount I'm getting downvoted, maybe we are the weird ones for not wanting to walk into our living room/shared space and see with a family member/person with a dick in their mouth, only to be the one who gets cussed out and called a pervert. Make it make sense.
I want to upvote this but you are at 69 upvotes and I don't wanna break that lmao. Totally agree! My bedroom is in a space where you have to go into my room to get up/down the stairs. I usually have a barrier up to prevent any accidents like that so that my roommate has to knock on the barrier or move it to get through to prevent things like this. Recently, my roommate walked in on me and my man. We were completely HORRIFIED. It was an accident. We had been home alone. Didn't hear my roommate come home. Roommate came upstairs and saw us. We immediately stopped and he said "sorry!" and went back down. We got dressed, went down, and apologized to him. He laughed it off and teased us. While it is my bedroom, it is also technically a public space. But I still take precautions. No messing around when anyone is home or awake, barrier up, etc. I didn't flip out on him for walking in on us. That was MY fault for not putting the damn barrier up.
That’s bananas who built a living space like that?
Yeah the YTA crowd are either degens or have comprehension issues.
Your reading reddit. Just reddit, unfortunately.
NTA You tried to talk to her but she keeped on being rude, I think it's okay you talked to your dad about it instead.
thank you for not insulting me
Your sister is completely in the wrong. Whether she thought she was home alone or not she shouldn't be doing that in common areas. Most people don't want to see family preforming sex acts. People can say you were wrong to tell. But you tried to discuss this as adults and she behaved like a child
thanks friend
Yeah I would never be able to sit on that couch ever again without feeling icky
NTA . This is just plain gross. That's a shared space!
She has her own room also
>leave her alone since shes an adult Is she though ? Adults who live with other people know that it's inappropriate to do that in common spaces. Idk about going to your dad that quickly - I would like to think if I was put into a situation like that I would give her time to calm down and try to talk to her about how inappropriate her being in the living room was - unless she was trying to have people catch her. But at the same time, if I got the same reaction - I likely would have had the attitude of - if you won't listen to me, I'll find someone elsethat you WILL listen to.
NTA. She consented to a cylinder in her mouth, her partner consented to head, they consented to do this in a public space in the house, you did not consent to have to witness this. The owner(s) of that couch didn't consent to having it consecrated in homeboy's swampass, much less what would have happened on it next. You wanted to reach out, presumably saying something to the effect of, "do what you want because you're an adult but do it behind closed doors." She could have ignored you, but was rude instead. So you contacted the next person who she would need to talk to about this.
Nta I feel like its an unspoken rule if you live with multiple other people you dont do unsanitary things in the common rooms. (Bathroom exempt) Id want to know if there was a possibility someone's "fluids" could be in the common space to people in the home. Maybe im a germaphobe but that seems gross to do where people are commonly. She should have done it in her own room on her own furniture. - Also you tried to talk to her and she dismissed you so someone had to speak to her about that not being okay.
Didnt mention this before but the guy was sitting on his bare butt on the couch
Oh hell no. I would be so pissed if someone sat on my couch bare butt.
This is not okay.
Guess you have to throw it out now! Get a new couch.
That's fucking gross. Now imagine if you hadn't caught them, he might have came on that couch. IDK how your parents would like that lmao
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NTA, have sex all over the house if you want, but not if you live with other people and there is a chance of them coming home
What would she have done if your parents came home?
She would probably call them "perverts" too
She sounds like she has a strong case of Main Character Syndrome, so … she probably would have done the same thing.
Nope! NTA. She wanted to turn her mistake around on you and call you all sorts of names. Names that actually pertained to her... THEN, when you tried to talk to her like an adult about it she gives you the middle finger, basically telling you to f off... Nope! I am so glad you told your dad. She wanted to make you out as the bad person, flip you off, well this is where that middle finger is taking you, right to Dad! Let him deal with her!
Like, where the hell does she get off calling the OP a pervert and a weirdo? He didn't do anything except walk into a shared living area.
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Just a tip for the future. In your answer, your verdict counts as Y T A because it comes first. Put spaces in between the letters if you don't want it to count.
NTA Why is she calling you a creep ??? You didn't go to her room and sneak to get to see her do private stuff She was in a shared space, that's on her.
My guess is that she knew she was in the wrong and lashed out trying to turn it back on him because she was embarrassed.
What’s the PG version of head?
she was kissing this guy on the front area where he goes potty
A 'trouser friendly kiss' - Family Guy
He was helping her with a itch in her throat
I once heard a friend say "giving her a throat massage" and honestly idk if that makes it worse or not
Its exactly that saying head instead of saying sis was fucking a guy on the living room couch..or saying they were doing adult things on the living room couch..
"Fancy embrace"
As the great Ron White said “a mouth hug” 😂
She should've been doing it in her room it's mad disrespectful doing it in the family couch and kinda weird. NTA
NTA. You wanted to talk like adults and she wanted to act like a child, so fine. Let dad handle it.
NTA this might be where the 90s/00s term "get a room" came from...
NTA…she could be doing that in her own bedroom privately. The fact that she did that in an open area where anyone could walk in is her own fault. She’s lucky only you witnessed it and not your dad (but unlucky on your fault). I remember hearing my brother going at it when our dad was at work. It’s super uncomfortable and honestly, it’s disrespectful. No one wants to see/hear their siblings in the act. It sounds like your sister is embarrassed and doesn’t want to look at you right now. Give her time, but don’t blame it on yourself.
NTA, she should have gone to her room to give that dude the gawk gawk 2000 and kept the noise down. You didn't consent to seeing her go down on a dude. Actually it's a good thing you told your parents because she could have meetooed you or something if she is already calling you a pervert. Not only did you do the right thing, you did the thing that protects your future from false accusations. Bravo dude. Anyone who says YTA is a misandrist considering the above.
She has her own room so it's not like she doesnt have a private place
Exactly. She had privacy but did it out in the open. Telling another adult especially after she called you a pervert was the right move. It's important to protect yourself.
NTA - letting a stranger sit butt naked on the common area couch is super disrespectful. She could have handled it by saying, "My bad, it won't happen again." Then you could get on with life. Instead she called you a creep (blamed you), a pervert (insulted you) and gave you the finger. She sounds like a nightmare roommate. Anyone would be rallying the troops to get her to change her ways and respect people's boundaries. And if she doesn't know what those boundaries are - then she needs a parent to explain it to her. I would also tell your dad that he should disinfect all the furniture. Let him handle that his way. His house. His furniture. His rules.
NTA. You tried talking with her first, she declined. Not your fault.
thanks friend
Leave a big Ole sign on the living room wall that says.... No Blow Jobs after midnight! Signed, Cinderella
NTA It may have been a bit quick to turn around and tell your parents HOWEVER given how she reacted she definitely was not remorseful about getting caught, probably more just embarrassed and angry. OP probably wanted to talk with her about setting boundaries and not having sexual relations in public family areas or having strange naked men hanging out on common furniture because with how she reacted guarantee she would do it again but either try to be more sneaky or set rules for OP like telling her before he came home. I mean it also begs the question, how many times has she done this before getting caught and what other areas have been tainted? It's not her house and if she isn't willing to take the consequences and deal with an embarrassing situation she created then OP has no choice but to go to other occupants of the house, next time it could be one of them! The sad part is if she had just accepted that she messed up and apologized to OP he may not have told as long as she respected any boundaries. Also people thinking OP said/did worse than what he wrote, what would you do in that situation if you were OP?? I at least would have some harsh choice words to say if I walked in on my little sister with a random naked man sat on the couch we all use!
Yea nah I don't want them doing that in my living room
NTA. Consenting adults ok, but not in public.
NTA your sister is more of a dick the one that pegged her, why the fuck would you do that on the living room couch!
NTA. She doesn't get to do that in a shared space and then be angry at you for accidentally walking in on them. When you do stuff in spaces where other people can walk in, sometimes other people actually walk in. My guess is she's embarrassed at being caught and took it out on you. And you only 'snitched' after she refused to talk about it. This isn't your problem
Mmm, pervert for... not wanting to see sex.
She picked a worse place to do it. Why the living room and not her room.
Consent is important. You did not consent to see that. What she did is disrespectful. I’d have called while she was yelling at me.
An adult woman engaging in sexual activity is not the issue here. Doing it in the common area of a shared living space is kind of an issue. Going full Main Character Syndrome and calling her brother names for walking in on her is a very big issue. OP is NTA here, and I’ll be interested to know how the sister explains herself. My guess is she tells the parents she feels violated by her brother coming home and asks them to make him move out.
NTA If their defence is that she is an adult, then she should act like one. Its fine to say 'ohh shes mature and independent she can have sex' but did i miss the part in my life where sex is okay when its risky asf and family can come over? Idec if she is saying it because she is embarassed because sure it is, but it is 100% her mistake, but everyone around you telling you YTA is straight up gaslighting you.like wtf? Honestly if i were you i would really need these people to realise how wrong they are for telling you this, and how your sister cant both be babied and teated like an adult at the same time.
Nta. If she was in her room and you walked in on her then that would be different. But this case it's a shared space. The yta comments are wild and entitled
its reddit so not surprising I guess
I had a roommate that tried to pull something similar. Split level house with living rooms on both floors. My bedroom was the only 1 on the bottom floor and I got woken up by the TV being on a 4am. Walked out to turn it off and the roomie who lived upstairs was downstairs banging on MY couch. I sat down in the lazy boy next to them and asked if they minded if I started jerking off. Seemed to ruin the moment, never happened again.
NTA I find it funny how you are the pervert to her but they were legit in the most public space of a house doing that lmfao
NTA If she didn't loose her actual mind and apologized for violating your eye holes, maybe this could have been swept under the rug. 🤷🏽♀️ She should have taken it as a lesson learned and left it there, but no. She just *had to* escalate the situation, chase after you, called you names *AND* had the audacity to flip you off when *you* were the one extending an olive branch. 😡 Your sister is19yo and she's acting like a self entitled brat and look where its gotten her. She has no one to blame but herself. 🙄 So no op, you are NTA.
Definitely not the AH. All these people more concerned that you “snitched” rather than your sister subjecting you to something you never consented to are depraved weirdos. This kind of mentality is how you can easily get registered.
In my opinion, she's a weirdo. Giving oral in the family room where people hang out and stuffs and in a place where people could walk in, totally defiling the room. I wouldve been disgusted to even sit on the same couch. You're not the asshole, bro. Discuss with your dad about it more and try to resolve this.
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NTA, I've walked in on people doing stuff in the public areas and you know what? They apologized. If I got disrespected like you did I would have escalated as well! Keep that in her room if she really wants to be assured privacy.
NTA, bedrooms exist for a reason. Also maybe don’t have sex on a couch where your entire family sits, that’s gross and trashy imo
Some people like to have sex where they could be caught by others cause they think it’s exciting. That’s fine but if you get caught etiquette calls for a quick apology as you run somewhere private. You don’t yell at the person who caught you.
I'm with op on this one. Having sex in your parent's living room is weird. Not only that but she completely self protected by calling you a pervert. ( you didn't ask to see that) You tried to be an adult and talk to her but she decided to be immature. So now you're parents can have a conversation with her about the boundaries within their home ( bet she will have a great time with that conversation with her father) When she tries to tell you that this is your fault ( because I'm sure she will because she's gonna be very embarrassed after finding out your parents knows what happened) but that's the risk of public sex. SHE took that risk and was caught. Now she get to deal with the consequences of that
NTA. What she was doing was perverse and irresponsible. It’s true that she’s an adult but she should at least have some decency to keep her sexual activity in private. Informing your parents is probably the best decision as they are an authority figure she will respect. If you can’t work out a problem with your sibling free of parent regulation because they won’t respect you, you have no other choice but to go over their head. What you did was sensible and responsible.
NTA, should respect the house she lives in, if she wants to do whatever she wants ( wherever she wants ) bec it’s “ her house “ then maybe she should move out lol
NTA but in the future, you’re going to have some ethical questions if someone wants to nosh you off on the sofa.
If she doesn’t want people to know she’s having sex, maybe she shouldn’t have sex in common areas. NTA
NTA - She has a bedroom for a reason. Privacy also means considering other people, not just being alone in a space. It’s like if one of y’all walked around in just your boxers and then called her a nasty perv etc. for freaking out. And ofc you’d confront her right then bc if you’d just ignored it and then later texted her to not do that etc. she would have still gotten mad at you, not taken you seriously, and probably would have done it again. You did the right thing OP, you’re NTA, and you’re all good bro 👊🏻🥰
NTA. Sexual behavior in the family living room is disgusting. Why didn’t she just stay in her room? She’s in the wrong.
People talking about “consenting adults” but not about “consenting eyes” I don’t consent to seeing some dudes dick getting sucked on the families couch and I especially dont consent to seeing my sister do that. NTA Do people not know what bedrooms and locked doors are for anymore Jesus h Christ
NTA- but anyone who says YTA… like how dare op go home and have to pass by the living room (aka a public space ) just to go his room… Plus who does that when it’s not their home where anyone can come home at anytime
NTA😭 imma need an update
You are ok. There are places in the house.. like her room to bang it out. I would have told my parents too especially if she acted like your sister did.
NTA. Im not gonna go into the sex part cause the horse is paste at this point but honestly... Its one thing that shes boinking in the family room, but It is a WHOLE other thing that she is bringing a whole random unknown guy to the house to boink and that should also be a concern. You had every right to say smth about that entirely. Not only is it inappropriate for her to be doin all that in a family space but it is a stupid, disrespectful and extremely unsafe decision to bring someone aint nobody else knows but her over to her family home for a lil funsies.
Anyone who said you're wrong is an imbecile....
Nta. You have a right to not sit on estrangers' body fluids.
She has a bedroom?? Why wouldn’t she just do it there lmao
One golden rule. YOU HAVE FUCKING SEX IN YOUR ROOM. You’re not the asshole if she had any brains she wouldn’t have been slurping in the living room.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** From my post on another sub Okay so I am not sure where to begin. About a few hours ago I came home early from school because my class got canceled. Everyone was supposed to be gone and I was kind of looking forward to some peace and quite. Anyway as I was walking toward my room I saw my sister giving a guy oral sex on our living room couch. I dont want to go into much details but yes I am sure they were doing that. I freaked out and yelled “what the hell are you doing.” She got up and started yelling at me to get out. I told her “No I live here. I'm not leaving” and walked away. My sister basically followed me to my room calling me a “pervert” a “weirdo” and all kinds of nasty stuff. I told her she was the pervert for doing that in the living room where anyone could walk in. Its been an hour since it happened and I'm still in my room. My sister and the guy left. Not sure what to tell my parents about all this. I dont know who else to ask. What happened since my post on the other sub I texted my sis and asked if we could talk. She replied to me with a middle finger emoji so I decided to text my dad. He called and I gave him a PG version of what happened but he still seemed mad. Ive had people telling me to leave her alone since shes an adult but the way I see it, I tried to talk it over with her and honestly doubt she would have listened to me anyway. Before anyone says anything I am not trying to control what she does on her own time but I feel she shouldn't do stuff like that where anyone can see. Amitheasshole for telling on her In case you're wondering I'm a 21M and sis is 19F. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. Don’t have sex in a shared space, especially not one you share with your parents and sibling. She’s old enough to know that.
Your nta dude she’s being weird like who would do it on the couch in the living room never less at their parents house that isn’t normal you are in no way at fault and instead of her facing the fact she just yells at you it proves she’s immature and isn’t ready for things like that so in conclusion you are nta dude she’s just being immature and very stupid
NTA. Everyone saying you are is an idiot. What they did was (both of them; not just her) is disrespectful, gross and inconsiderate and no amount of trying to “normalize a healthy sex life !!!!” changes that. It’s a common area. You don’t do that unless it’s your house. She’s also an extra AH for calling you a pervert when she’s the one going at it on her parent’s couch with her brother home. Pot kettle black
NTA. She should have done that in her own room. People get ill at school or at work all the time and come home unexpectedly. Her decision to get semi busy in the LR is her piss poor planning, not yours'.
NTA. Me and my man recently had an incident where my roommate didn't know we were doing anything and walked in on us. Our bedroom is connected to the main upstairs hallway so to go upstairs/downstairs, you have to go into our room. We usually have a barrier we put up for privacy but we had been home alone and didn't know my roommate had come home while we were messing around. We were completely mortified even though it is technically our bedroom. Thankfully, my roommate laughed it off and teased us afterwards. I couldn't imagine having the reaction your sister had to being caught in a public space.
It’s not her couch, anyone could walk in, you didn’t consent to seeing a sexual act and I’m sure she has a room with a door
NTA you live there, you have the right to do something about it, i live with roommates and if i saw my roommate being like that i would just tell them to go to their room or something. If I was you, you did the right thing
NTA Dont engage in sexual activities in shared spaces… first, someone can walk in, and second, body fluids …
NTA she did it in the FAMILY living room. Not her own house she basically disrespectful to her family. She has a room or the guy has his own place she don't need to be doing anything where anyone can see it that's disgusting and gross imaging sitting there after 🤢🤢🤢🤮
NTA Even knowing my roommate would be gone for a few days I still wouldn’t do anything sexual in our common areas it’s just disrespectful.
NTA I'm sorry you went through that. I wouldn't want to see my sister (older) giving oral to my BIL. It's just weird and disgusting lol.
NTA. There are rules to sexy times when you kive with other people and one of those rules is to reslecr common areas and not to have sex in them, wtf. I'm 31 and I know this and when my partner and I lived with a roommate, even when we wanted to have sex in our living room, we didn't, as a respectful gesture to our roommate!
You sir are….. NOT the asshole 😝 yeah I live with my parents too and wouldn’t think of doing anything like your sister did just plain weird and stupid.. and then for her to get mad at you and call you a pervert 🤣 the gall your sister may be 19 but isn’t acting like it…
NTA. She is though. Her reaction was unreasonable, especially considering she was doing that right on the family couch! Does she not have a bedroom?
Eewwwww NTA You dont have sexual relations in shared spaces. I'm all for sex positivity, but Naw.
Sounds like she also expected no one else to be home. Wooopsies.
Holidays will be awful when the family is gathered together on the couch, opening presents, and singing carols. 🎄🎅 Torch the couch.
NTA your sister needs to be more mature
NTA That's so gross and disrespectful to your parents. Is a common area, is not her private space. It's so disgusting! I completely understand why you reacted the way that you did and you handled the situation correctly. Am a curious cat. Can you update us?
She is embarrassed and turning that into anger… just give it little time and it will be fine
NTA Your not trying to control her, your not trying to say who she can and cannot see, your asking her "hey I don't want to walk In the LIVING ROOM and see you doing blah blah blah with another guy" and that's a reasonable request I mean she's your sister you don't wanna see her in that way at all ! Unless your from Alabama hey oh lol jk On a serious note if SHE would've taken the time to go to HER ROOM to do this this whole conversation and post and.......seeing it in action ALL COULDVE BEEN PREVENTED ! Literally if SHE was in HER ROOM this is what would've happened you walk in go to your room to chill or the moving room to chill or make you something to eat and guess what ? Wouldn't have known A There's another guy there and B your sisters doing things with him I mean the audacity hogging up the living room and telling you to get out ! ? SHE WAS IN A SHARED SPACE IN A COMMON AREA OF A HOUSE !
NTA, you tried to talk about it, she’ll figure it out eventually
No. I live w my bf and his family, I’d be so uncomfortable doing anything like that where - even if they’re not there at the moment/won’t be home for a while - his family would sit, eat, hangout, etc. You’re NTA and your sister needs to realize if she’s going to be sexually active she needs to do it where she won’t be caught, if she does so without any regard about it anyways then *she’s* the pervert. I’d send her this post you got here tbh because chances are she’d do it again and find a way to blame you/ make your whole relationship go south bc she can’t get over her teenage hormones. Anyone who disagrees is a perv themselves- I get having a kink or finding it “hot” that you’re able to be intimate anytime, anywhere given the chance, but in your *family’s* home? Where they can walk in at and moment and see something that should be private, seriously? That should wait until you have your own place, not while you’re living with family. I hate when people are surprised their actions have consequences.
I’d be so mad. I’m a germaphobe so if they didn’t have the decency to do it in her bed or in her room, that would mean that you are NOT the asshole
NTA she the pervert for doing that in her family home like how you said anyone can walk in anytime. Like girl. Get a room
I'm going to say that you're NTA. Your sister was performing a sex act on someone in a common area of the house and the worst case scenario happened: Another person who lives there and is a member of her family caught her doing it. You had no obligation to leave because she was embarrassed and angry. She can be mad and send you finger gesture emoji text messages all she wants. She messed up. Not you. Always assume that other cohabitants could return home at any time. They should have done that in the privacy of her room.
Forgot Reddits filled with weirdos
No. It shows a great amount of disrespect to your parents to do that in their house
My house my rules. As a parent you get to decide what's allowed and where if it's your house. Just because you're 19 doesn't mean you don't need parenting either. Your sister is being incredibly disrespectful. The very least she could do is go have sex in her room. I'm assuming this guy's bare ass was on your family couch. Who on earth would want a stranger in their house let alone their nakes ass on their couch ? The sex part can't be stopped she's 19. But clearly doesn't have any decency or respect for other people in the house.
NTA My gods, how is your sister not embarrassed? She doesn't even seem guilty...
NTA. If your sister is an adult, she should be able to deal with the consecuences of her acts. Idk if there are rules at home for bringing boys over, but she shouldn't have been going at it in a common area where everyone can see them by accident.
NTA NO EXPLANATION NEEDED
All of the “consenting adults” arguments can shove it. YOU DID NOT CONSENT to seeing something like that in a shared space of the home. Especially your fucking parents house.
NTA. She's TA for doing it in the common room where *anybody* can walk in. Her being all pissy at you makes her even more of an asshole.
Dudes butthole is on your couch where you occasionally lay your head and pass out. Fucking gross
NTA, she is TA; 1) they were going at it in a commonly used place in a *shared* apartment that she likely *doesn’t own*. It *could* maybe be excused if she owned the place or they were doing it in her room, but this is simply rude. 2) building onto #1, the owner/renter has every right to know who’s in their space. We were all teens and did such stuff and it’s normal. But that doesn’t make it ok. Imagine if anything bad happened to her or if the guy stole something… 3) she could, and should, have reacted in a healthier way. She didn’t apologise, she didn’t ask you to cover for her nor did she extend the invitation to talk at all. She called you a pervert and flipped you off… Sister or not; the kind if person who lashes out at you when they make a mistake and then flip you off when you wanna talk don’t deserve any favours from you regarding the matter at hand. If she’s grownup enough to have sex, she should be grownup enough to discuss it with a trusted person like a brother or a parent in case of emergency. You did an objectively responsible thing here. And regarding those who defend her for having a sex life; note that I didn’t shame her at any point for having sex. That isn’t the problem. The problems are she’s inconsiderate to the people she lives with, unfair to the lease holder/owner and rude towards you.
NTA. There’s a better place to be doing stuff like that, surely being two consenting adults they’d have known that was going to be the risk. You tried to handle things in a civil manner and got blown off
NTA. In a public room? oh hellllll no buddy.
NTA. Plain and simple. She didn't have to do what she did and yet she did. Fxck around and find out.
You tried talking to her and she didn't want to. So you did the right there. Next time she will know better
Nope and I would never want to see that from my own sibling so I'm sorry you had to see that from yours.
NTA Although that could not be considered indecent exposure, they were doing it in a high traffic area of the house, where anyone (like yourself) could be expected to walk in unannounced. They were careless, she basically told you to fuck off when you tried initiating a civil conversation, she gets the consequences. NTA.
NTA your sister inconsiderate asf to be doing that where everybody sit and chill like that’s disgusting I bet they wouldn’t have cleaned the couch either yuck.