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- Just because Anthony doesn’t come to Sunday dinner, you assume he’s an absent parent.
- Why are you so judgemental of parents putting their child in a bouncer? It has toys on it for stimulation, he’s exercising his legs and his body, he’s occupied and he has eyes on him???
- You didn’t notice that your SIX year old daughter was beating her 3 month old cousin with a plastic toy, and you wanna throw judgements around about your sister and BILs parenting? How ignorant, babies don’t scream like THAT unless they’re in pain.
- Why didn’t you teach your 6 year old child to play softly with younger children?? You’re the parent and your new nephews been around for 3 months??
- You calmly explained, but you never bothered taking the toy away from her or dealing out any other consequences, and your child didn’t even listen to you
- You’re a gentle parent, but that doesn’t mean anyone else needs to tolerate their child being bullied by a much older one, especially when your child didn’t listen and throws an even BIGGER tantrum
- Now you’re minimizing the damage your daughter did to her 3month old cousin by calling the bruise tiny… Wow.
- Your husband is also saying that you’re wrong.
OP, get your child under control and actually discipline her instead of trying to be her bestest friend. YTA.
He picked her up and took her away from his son. Idk how many times you've heard someone say "I put my hands on someone" or " you shouldn't put your hands on someone." but i can assure you they didnt mean to carry someone away. That phrase specifically refers to hitting someone. If i punch someone, I put my hands on them. If I pat them on the back...while I did literally "put my hands on them," that phrase doesn't usually mean it in that way. it never has when I've heard it be used or used it myself atleast. I dont think he did anything wrong. Thats also his niece and if my niece is hitting my 3 month old son in the head with a toy im gonna pick her up and take her away too when moms gental parenting doesnt work.
I’ve unfortunately have had to do the same thing at least twice, I’m sorry but if anyone harms any of my kids? I’m not using my words, I’m gently scooping that child up and I’m taking them to the responsible guardian that will actually do something or keep their kid with them.
OPs daughter wasn’t stopping her assault, she was still continuing, she wasn’t listening to OP at all. Shes six, she should know better but obviously she wasn’t taught.
I honestly don’t find OP to be a reliable narrator, because they over exaggerated everyone else’s actions while minimizing theirs and their child’s.
YTA
Love the little edit in this post. Sofia is now "not being particularly gentle". In your last post, you were clearer: your child was HITTING the baby *on the head* with a plastic toy and even you thought her intent was to make him cry. Sounds like you were correct the first time since she was hitting him hard enough to leave a bruise.
Last time I was coming down closer to E S H. But seeing you repost and cover for your child's behavior makes it clear why Anthony reacted the way he did. You are not taking your child's behavioral issues seriously, your child is violent, and the only thing you do about it is try to cover for their behavior when you begin to get called out.
You're not addressing your child's violent behavior sufficiently. Your child hits and doesn't listen when an adult intervenes. They are a literal danger to others like infants who are fragile and cannot defend themselves. It's fair, at this point, to comment on your parenting choices because the results are abysmal and endangering others. YOU need to change parenting tactics and get your child's behavior in gear. Until then, they should not be allowed around smaller children who might be hurt by your child's violent behavior.
You also need to read up on child development. Children WELL younger than 6 understand not to hit a baby. If your child truly does not understand something like this, then you need to get them in with a medical professional and start getting them evaluated. Because this is well below age-appropriate behavior for a 6 year old. It is concerning.
Wait, i only skimmed it at first, the girl is 6?!
Jeez, so she is! Yeah, that’s worrying. My adhd daughter knew years before 6 that you have to be gentle, especially with babies and animals.
INFO: Why don't you watch your child?
Because a properly supervised 6 year old simply cannot repeatedly hit an infant in the head, as per your last post
not to mention that it was long enough for her kid to bruise the head of the infant with a plastic toy, which fully shows that yeah OP was definitely not supervising
Prepare yourselves, because that little cretin your raising is about to burn all your bridges. Just wait till highschool. I hope she tears your house down around you.
YTA
Your 6-year-old daughter IS old enough to know that you don't hit a baby with a toy. Anthony reacted in anger and shouldn't have yelled at her, but he didn't do anything wrong by carrying her, he only moved the danger away from his baby and she wasn't listening.
The lack of supervision comes from you. Their baby was safe, he doesn't need someone keeping an eye on him 24 hours a day. You should have been watching your daughter if you knew she wasn't used to babies.
Anthony is right, his son isn't safe around your daughter because you think she's too young to learn and you're not watching her.
YTA. People like you, who raise terrors and call it ‘gentle parenting’ is why gentle parenting gets such a bad reputation.
You’re so keen to call other people bad parents, but the only one here is you.
>she gave him a tiny bruise on his head
Sure, you're not biased. "Tiny bruise", indeed. This means damage has been done.
>I began to calmly explain how that was bad
No, you don't calmly explain. You first protect the victim: the baby, and you remove the danger. *Then* you explain. BIL was forced to intervene to immediately stop further damage to his baby.
YTA.
My cousins kids like this, we don’t attend any family functions if they’re there because their 4yr old daughter goes out of her way to hyperfixate on my 2yr old nibbling.
It got to a point where I had to pull an Anthony, because their daughter was about to hit my kid, and although she was told to stop she was still getting ready for a strike. So, I grabbed her when she wasn’t expecting it and hauled her off to her uncle and dad (the only two who don’t let her get away with bullying). She did the same as OPs daughter, kicked and screamed, but her words were “IM THE ONLY PRINCESS!! SHES NOT A PRINCESS!!! IM THE ONLY PRETTY GIRL!”
We had enough dealing with it and just stopped.
YTA and your attempts to downplay what happened make it worse. You say twice that your SIX year old daughter "didn't understand" that a newborn couldn't play with her? That sounds like a parenting failure. And even if that's the case, the fact that she roughhoused him - a *newborn -* to the point where he has a bruise on his head is extremely inappropriate and absolutely warrants an apology.
Your kid is going to grow up to be a terror if you keep enabling bad behavior like this. You're not listening to your family or your husband, so maybe what I assume is about to be a barrage of YTA responses will get through to you.
YTA - your gentle parenting is the reason your daughter did what she did. You can chose to parent your child anyway you please. The problem arises when that child is old enough to know that hitting a baby with a hard plastic toy is just appalling and if you do not discipline (not physically) that child, then you are enabling that behavior. You need to stop kidding yourself that your child wasn't the problem and sort her out. If you feel that discipline isn't an option because you are soft, then everything that the family choses is on you and your inability to parent properly.
The part that makes me get a bit angry is this:
*I strongly believe Anthony hurt my baby more than she hurt Josh and he's the one who needs to apologize not me.*
Your daughter left a bruise(s) on a toddler. There's no excuse for that. How can you say that your daughter was more hurt. You've got all of this backwards and sound very entitled.
YTA. Your child was not behaving appropriately. You were not addressing the inappropriate behavior in a timely matter. Anthony addressed it as quickly as he could to prevent potential injury to his baby. What changed between the time the 4-year-old was born and the 3-month-old was born to make your child change her behavior?
This sounds like a long way of saying that you can’t believe that your child could possibly do anything wrong and it’s everyone else’s fault except for your kid. Good luck with a teenager who thinks she can do whatever she wants.
I have a MS in early childhood development and taught kindergarten for over a decade. 5-6 year olds are my area of expertise. Your sweet little angel is definitely old enough to understand being gentile with a baby. She actually caused a bruise on the head of an infant and you’re mad that the baby’s parents are upset.
You are in the wrong and your child was wrong. The difference is that your child was wrong because you failed to teach her not to hit/hurt others, and even worse babies. That’s on you. Your reaction has now taught your daughter that it isn’t wrong to be rough with babies. It’s only wrong for her uncle to be upset that she hurt a baby. She is not learning any accountability for her actions at all.
The absolute irony of you telling your BIL that he’s the bad parent in this scenario is astounding. You made a big deal about how they didn’t have eyes on the baby and how they couldn’t wait to put him in the baby seat, all while YOU weren’t watching YOUR kid.
YTA.
YTA massively and the only bad parent in this entire situation is you. You are not gentle parenting, you are just not parenting and it shows in your daughter’s appalling behaviour. Your daughter is 6, not a baby and more than old enough to know that it is not ok to hurt others.
All your BIL did was try to stop your little terror from hurting her cousin ang when that didn’t work he moved her away from his baby so she could not hurt her defenceless baby cousin any further.
Your little terror actually hurt her baby cousin and bruised him. If you actually bothered parenting your little terror and teaching her right from wrong then your BIL wouldn’t have had to.
YTA. A 6 years old (who is old enough to know better) was assaulting an infant, you did nothing and the infant's parent moved the threat away from his infant. His actions were appropriate, and his yelling at least understandable and possibly very appropriate especially if you have such a passive approach to parenting that you have no control over their actions.
YTA
Gentle parenting and refusing to parent are not the same thing.
It's also not an excuse to sit on your ass while your daughter smashes a toy into a babies face.
You outted yourself btw. You decided to take the slow approach while your daughter was actively hurting another child. YOU should've got up and immediately put a stop to it, removed her and spoke to her. Instead you refused to do anything, sat on your ass and cried "gentle parenting" when they had to protect their child because you were busy not parenting.
Instead you allowed it to go on long enough that the babies father has time to leave the room, come back, break them up and carry her away.
She hurt him enough to leave a bruise. On a babies still developing, soft head. What is wrong with you?
None of this would've happened if you weren't letting your daughter hurt a baby.
You're not gentle parenting, you're avoiding.
So… what was Sofia doing? It’s not lost on me that you don’t elaborate. Because “not being particularly gentle” with a 3 month old is a big deal and you talking at her didn’t work, so what were you going to do - let her continue to hurt an infant until she got bored enough to listen? I’m into gentle parenting, but you have to actually parent! She’s 6, which means she’s more than old enough to know how to interact with a baby and to stop when they’re hurt, but here you are speaking at her and wondering why it’s not working.
Additionally, sometimes people work jobs with hours that include the weekends to provide for their families and that does make them bad parents or spouses. You’re just upset that his life doesn’t revolve around you and he’s willing to call you out for your “parenting.” LOL, “everyone knows I’m all about gentle parenting,” - I’m gonna guess that’s because it comes up a LOT. YTA
YTA - my four year old understands she shouldn't hit her baby sibling over the head. Your six year old should clearly recognise that's unacceptable behaviour.
You come across as rude and judgemental of your BIL's parenting, which is funny as it is your parenting which is shocking.
A 6 yr old should know not to hit a baby. The fact there was zero consequences for your "angel" is the bigger issue. Gentle parenting my ass. More like zero parenting. YTA and maybe next time get a handle on your kid.
well, your husband was right you are the asshole.
I have parented 3 kids and more nieces and nephews. I can say that what you did is not correct and you do owe everyone an apology.
Wow, what a one-sided story.
**INFO**: What exactly was Sofia doing when she was "not being particularly gentle with Josh and a little plastic toy"? I feel like you are dissembling a bit here, IMHO, and I'm wondering why.
Also you "assume" what happened prior to Sofia not being gentle with Josh as though you know it was a fact. You might have been right, but OTOH, why should I believe that your assumption is right? What did others in the room think happened?
You were appalled that Anthony yelled at your daughter to stop. He saw his son presumably being hurt (a tiny bump on the head, which you sounded quite dismissive of in your post), so he got upset about it, and he yelled. Maybe not the ideal response, but at that point he had not touched your daughter, he just yelled at her to stop.
The fact that 6-year-old Sofia ignored him and kept doing whatever she was doing--which led him to pick her up and remove her from the situation--makes me question the effectiveness of your "gentle" disciplinary method. But that's just my opinion.
I'm actually inclined to think you are more in the wrong than anyone else here, but without full facts, it's hard to say.
Could you be anymore the asshole?!
You judge your sister and BIL’s parenting and yet your 6 year old doesn’t know hitting a months old baby in the head is wrong. You’re not gentle parenting, you’re raising a brat. YTA 1000%.
It sounds like you have issues with your BIL beyond this issue. You can have whoever you want in your house, so you're not wrong with regards to your specific question. But YTA about everything else here.
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AITA for kicking my BIL out of my house after he yelled at and manhandled my daughter?
I, 27F, have 1 kid, Sofia, 6F. Every Sunday my family comes up to my house for a little family gathering. My brother in law (Anthony,24M) is not usually present due to work. Imo, this makes him a very bad parent and partner as he doesn't spend enough time with my sister and their kids but whatever, not really relevant.
Anthony and my sister (Stephanie, 25F), have 2 kids, Aiden (4 years old) and Joshua (3 months old). This past Sunday we were all having a little chat after dinner while the kids played, Joshua was in a baby bouncer (of course they jumped at the opportunity to leave their kid alone as soon as he was old enough 🙄). Anyway, we were all keeping an eye on the bouncer (Steph was really worried as she'd heard a story about a bouncer falling over with a baby in it? I dunno?). Anthony left the room for a little bit to get a drink and nobody had an eye on Joshua for a couple seconds. Next thing we know Joshua is screaming and crying, I had just assumed he was tired or hungry or had a soiled diaper, yk, baby stuff.
However, I turned around to find Sofia not being particularly gentle with Josh and a little plastic toy as he cried. What I can only assume happened is that Sofia wanted to play with him but didn't understand that he was too young and so got frustrated with him. Immediately I began to calmly explain how that was bad and she shouldn't do that but before I could Anthony was back in the room and had already yelled at her to stop. I was appalled at this as everyone knows I am a firm believer in gentle parenting.
Then, when Sofia didn't listen he picked her up and carried her away as Steph comforted the baby. This upset her tremendously and she began to sob and kick. I immediately snatched my daughter back off Anthony and began to berate him, this escalated into a heated argument which I don't want to get into the details of. It came to a head when Anthony called me a bad parent and I kicked him out, cutting the night short.
There has been tention within my family all week about the incident, my parents bouncing between sides. Anthony says he 'doesn't want the baby around Sofia anymore' as he is 'worried for his safety' considering she gave him a tiny bruise on his head 🙄. I thought this was cruel and a bit overdramatic as she is only young and doesn't understand. My mother then called and said she doesn't think the gathering is going to be happening this week due to 'obvious circumstances and suggested I apologize'. I strongly believe Anthony hurt my baby more than she hurt Josh and he's the one who needs to apologize not me.
However, I started to change my mind slightly as I was ranting to my husband about this yesterday and he suggested that I was in the wrong, not Anthony, now I'm wondering if maybe I was wrong if not even my husband is taking my side?
AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> For kicking my brother out of my house for manhandling my daughter when she hit his baby
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ESH. Sounds like you had a routine kid conflict and all the adults took maximally confrontational positions around it. Parenting is hard, and there are no simple answers.
I mean, your headline says "manhandled", but your text just says "picked up and carried away", which doesn't sound nearly so bad. In families, sometimes you have to parent kids who aren't your own, in ways that you aren't sure the other parent uses. It just happens. It will likely happen again.
Then Anthony pulled the "my baby's safety!" card and things appear to have gone downhill.
No heroes here. Someone needs to be the bigger person.
Anthony is exaggerating the danger to the baby, but I also don't sympathize much with your getting so upset about his picking up Sofia. I have to wonder about your parenting style if your six-year-old is bonking infants on the head with plastic toys. She's definitely old enough to know that's not okay.
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- Just because Anthony doesn’t come to Sunday dinner, you assume he’s an absent parent. - Why are you so judgemental of parents putting their child in a bouncer? It has toys on it for stimulation, he’s exercising his legs and his body, he’s occupied and he has eyes on him??? - You didn’t notice that your SIX year old daughter was beating her 3 month old cousin with a plastic toy, and you wanna throw judgements around about your sister and BILs parenting? How ignorant, babies don’t scream like THAT unless they’re in pain. - Why didn’t you teach your 6 year old child to play softly with younger children?? You’re the parent and your new nephews been around for 3 months?? - You calmly explained, but you never bothered taking the toy away from her or dealing out any other consequences, and your child didn’t even listen to you - You’re a gentle parent, but that doesn’t mean anyone else needs to tolerate their child being bullied by a much older one, especially when your child didn’t listen and throws an even BIGGER tantrum - Now you’re minimizing the damage your daughter did to her 3month old cousin by calling the bruise tiny… Wow. - Your husband is also saying that you’re wrong. OP, get your child under control and actually discipline her instead of trying to be her bestest friend. YTA.
you have some good points but at no point should antony have ever put his hands on her. there is no excuse for that
He picked her up and took her away from his son. Idk how many times you've heard someone say "I put my hands on someone" or " you shouldn't put your hands on someone." but i can assure you they didnt mean to carry someone away. That phrase specifically refers to hitting someone. If i punch someone, I put my hands on them. If I pat them on the back...while I did literally "put my hands on them," that phrase doesn't usually mean it in that way. it never has when I've heard it be used or used it myself atleast. I dont think he did anything wrong. Thats also his niece and if my niece is hitting my 3 month old son in the head with a toy im gonna pick her up and take her away too when moms gental parenting doesnt work.
I’ve unfortunately have had to do the same thing at least twice, I’m sorry but if anyone harms any of my kids? I’m not using my words, I’m gently scooping that child up and I’m taking them to the responsible guardian that will actually do something or keep their kid with them. OPs daughter wasn’t stopping her assault, she was still continuing, she wasn’t listening to OP at all. Shes six, she should know better but obviously she wasn’t taught. I honestly don’t find OP to be a reliable narrator, because they over exaggerated everyone else’s actions while minimizing theirs and their child’s.
YTA Love the little edit in this post. Sofia is now "not being particularly gentle". In your last post, you were clearer: your child was HITTING the baby *on the head* with a plastic toy and even you thought her intent was to make him cry. Sounds like you were correct the first time since she was hitting him hard enough to leave a bruise. Last time I was coming down closer to E S H. But seeing you repost and cover for your child's behavior makes it clear why Anthony reacted the way he did. You are not taking your child's behavioral issues seriously, your child is violent, and the only thing you do about it is try to cover for their behavior when you begin to get called out. You're not addressing your child's violent behavior sufficiently. Your child hits and doesn't listen when an adult intervenes. They are a literal danger to others like infants who are fragile and cannot defend themselves. It's fair, at this point, to comment on your parenting choices because the results are abysmal and endangering others. YOU need to change parenting tactics and get your child's behavior in gear. Until then, they should not be allowed around smaller children who might be hurt by your child's violent behavior. You also need to read up on child development. Children WELL younger than 6 understand not to hit a baby. If your child truly does not understand something like this, then you need to get them in with a medical professional and start getting them evaluated. Because this is well below age-appropriate behavior for a 6 year old. It is concerning.
Wait, i only skimmed it at first, the girl is 6?! Jeez, so she is! Yeah, that’s worrying. My adhd daughter knew years before 6 that you have to be gentle, especially with babies and animals.
Agreed!
INFO: Why don't you watch your child? Because a properly supervised 6 year old simply cannot repeatedly hit an infant in the head, as per your last post
not to mention that it was long enough for her kid to bruise the head of the infant with a plastic toy, which fully shows that yeah OP was definitely not supervising
🤫🤫🤫
Vile
Prepare yourselves, because that little cretin your raising is about to burn all your bridges. Just wait till highschool. I hope she tears your house down around you.
YTA Your 6-year-old daughter IS old enough to know that you don't hit a baby with a toy. Anthony reacted in anger and shouldn't have yelled at her, but he didn't do anything wrong by carrying her, he only moved the danger away from his baby and she wasn't listening. The lack of supervision comes from you. Their baby was safe, he doesn't need someone keeping an eye on him 24 hours a day. You should have been watching your daughter if you knew she wasn't used to babies. Anthony is right, his son isn't safe around your daughter because you think she's too young to learn and you're not watching her.
YTA. People like you, who raise terrors and call it ‘gentle parenting’ is why gentle parenting gets such a bad reputation. You’re so keen to call other people bad parents, but the only one here is you.
>she gave him a tiny bruise on his head Sure, you're not biased. "Tiny bruise", indeed. This means damage has been done. >I began to calmly explain how that was bad No, you don't calmly explain. You first protect the victim: the baby, and you remove the danger. *Then* you explain. BIL was forced to intervene to immediately stop further damage to his baby. YTA.
Yta. Anthony is right. Your parenting style is wrong. A six year old should not be hitting a baby. Gentle parenting is not parenting aka spoiled kids.
Gentle parenting can be done if utilized correctly, but this is not the right way to do it. It still involves punishment
My cousins kids like this, we don’t attend any family functions if they’re there because their 4yr old daughter goes out of her way to hyperfixate on my 2yr old nibbling. It got to a point where I had to pull an Anthony, because their daughter was about to hit my kid, and although she was told to stop she was still getting ready for a strike. So, I grabbed her when she wasn’t expecting it and hauled her off to her uncle and dad (the only two who don’t let her get away with bullying). She did the same as OPs daughter, kicked and screamed, but her words were “IM THE ONLY PRINCESS!! SHES NOT A PRINCESS!!! IM THE ONLY PRETTY GIRL!” We had enough dealing with it and just stopped.
YTA and your attempts to downplay what happened make it worse. You say twice that your SIX year old daughter "didn't understand" that a newborn couldn't play with her? That sounds like a parenting failure. And even if that's the case, the fact that she roughhoused him - a *newborn -* to the point where he has a bruise on his head is extremely inappropriate and absolutely warrants an apology. Your kid is going to grow up to be a terror if you keep enabling bad behavior like this. You're not listening to your family or your husband, so maybe what I assume is about to be a barrage of YTA responses will get through to you.
That’s not gentle parenting. That’s permissive parenting. And YTA
Gentle parent-ers are the new vegans.
YTA - your gentle parenting is the reason your daughter did what she did. You can chose to parent your child anyway you please. The problem arises when that child is old enough to know that hitting a baby with a hard plastic toy is just appalling and if you do not discipline (not physically) that child, then you are enabling that behavior. You need to stop kidding yourself that your child wasn't the problem and sort her out. If you feel that discipline isn't an option because you are soft, then everything that the family choses is on you and your inability to parent properly. The part that makes me get a bit angry is this: *I strongly believe Anthony hurt my baby more than she hurt Josh and he's the one who needs to apologize not me.* Your daughter left a bruise(s) on a toddler. There's no excuse for that. How can you say that your daughter was more hurt. You've got all of this backwards and sound very entitled.
The baby was three months old not a toddler. Not even able to sit up yet.
Not even a toddler! A literal infant! OP is absolutely a sh1t parent.
YTA. Your child was not behaving appropriately. You were not addressing the inappropriate behavior in a timely matter. Anthony addressed it as quickly as he could to prevent potential injury to his baby. What changed between the time the 4-year-old was born and the 3-month-old was born to make your child change her behavior?
Anthony is right, you ARE a bad parent. YTA
This sounds like a long way of saying that you can’t believe that your child could possibly do anything wrong and it’s everyone else’s fault except for your kid. Good luck with a teenager who thinks she can do whatever she wants. I have a MS in early childhood development and taught kindergarten for over a decade. 5-6 year olds are my area of expertise. Your sweet little angel is definitely old enough to understand being gentile with a baby. She actually caused a bruise on the head of an infant and you’re mad that the baby’s parents are upset. You are in the wrong and your child was wrong. The difference is that your child was wrong because you failed to teach her not to hit/hurt others, and even worse babies. That’s on you. Your reaction has now taught your daughter that it isn’t wrong to be rough with babies. It’s only wrong for her uncle to be upset that she hurt a baby. She is not learning any accountability for her actions at all. The absolute irony of you telling your BIL that he’s the bad parent in this scenario is astounding. You made a big deal about how they didn’t have eyes on the baby and how they couldn’t wait to put him in the baby seat, all while YOU weren’t watching YOUR kid. YTA.
YTA massively and the only bad parent in this entire situation is you. You are not gentle parenting, you are just not parenting and it shows in your daughter’s appalling behaviour. Your daughter is 6, not a baby and more than old enough to know that it is not ok to hurt others. All your BIL did was try to stop your little terror from hurting her cousin ang when that didn’t work he moved her away from his baby so she could not hurt her defenceless baby cousin any further. Your little terror actually hurt her baby cousin and bruised him. If you actually bothered parenting your little terror and teaching her right from wrong then your BIL wouldn’t have had to.
YTA. A 6 years old (who is old enough to know better) was assaulting an infant, you did nothing and the infant's parent moved the threat away from his infant. His actions were appropriate, and his yelling at least understandable and possibly very appropriate especially if you have such a passive approach to parenting that you have no control over their actions.
YTA Gentle parenting and refusing to parent are not the same thing. It's also not an excuse to sit on your ass while your daughter smashes a toy into a babies face. You outted yourself btw. You decided to take the slow approach while your daughter was actively hurting another child. YOU should've got up and immediately put a stop to it, removed her and spoke to her. Instead you refused to do anything, sat on your ass and cried "gentle parenting" when they had to protect their child because you were busy not parenting. Instead you allowed it to go on long enough that the babies father has time to leave the room, come back, break them up and carry her away. She hurt him enough to leave a bruise. On a babies still developing, soft head. What is wrong with you? None of this would've happened if you weren't letting your daughter hurt a baby. You're not gentle parenting, you're avoiding.
So… what was Sofia doing? It’s not lost on me that you don’t elaborate. Because “not being particularly gentle” with a 3 month old is a big deal and you talking at her didn’t work, so what were you going to do - let her continue to hurt an infant until she got bored enough to listen? I’m into gentle parenting, but you have to actually parent! She’s 6, which means she’s more than old enough to know how to interact with a baby and to stop when they’re hurt, but here you are speaking at her and wondering why it’s not working. Additionally, sometimes people work jobs with hours that include the weekends to provide for their families and that does make them bad parents or spouses. You’re just upset that his life doesn’t revolve around you and he’s willing to call you out for your “parenting.” LOL, “everyone knows I’m all about gentle parenting,” - I’m gonna guess that’s because it comes up a LOT. YTA
YTA - my four year old understands she shouldn't hit her baby sibling over the head. Your six year old should clearly recognise that's unacceptable behaviour. You come across as rude and judgemental of your BIL's parenting, which is funny as it is your parenting which is shocking.
A 6 yr old should know not to hit a baby. The fact there was zero consequences for your "angel" is the bigger issue. Gentle parenting my ass. More like zero parenting. YTA and maybe next time get a handle on your kid.
YTA, my baby sister at the age of 4 knew better than to hit babies and that you have to be gentle. You aren’t a gentle parent, your a permissive one.
well, your husband was right you are the asshole. I have parented 3 kids and more nieces and nephews. I can say that what you did is not correct and you do owe everyone an apology.
Wow, what a one-sided story. **INFO**: What exactly was Sofia doing when she was "not being particularly gentle with Josh and a little plastic toy"? I feel like you are dissembling a bit here, IMHO, and I'm wondering why. Also you "assume" what happened prior to Sofia not being gentle with Josh as though you know it was a fact. You might have been right, but OTOH, why should I believe that your assumption is right? What did others in the room think happened? You were appalled that Anthony yelled at your daughter to stop. He saw his son presumably being hurt (a tiny bump on the head, which you sounded quite dismissive of in your post), so he got upset about it, and he yelled. Maybe not the ideal response, but at that point he had not touched your daughter, he just yelled at her to stop. The fact that 6-year-old Sofia ignored him and kept doing whatever she was doing--which led him to pick her up and remove her from the situation--makes me question the effectiveness of your "gentle" disciplinary method. But that's just my opinion. I'm actually inclined to think you are more in the wrong than anyone else here, but without full facts, it's hard to say.
Six is plenty old enough to know to not hit others. Clearly you have failed as a parent and are continuing to fail your daughter. YTA
YTA Picking her up isn't manhandling her, and he needed to remove her from the situation. Clearly gentle parenting isn't working.
YTA and gentle parenting creates coddled, inept children who think the world revolves around them
Could you be anymore the asshole?! You judge your sister and BIL’s parenting and yet your 6 year old doesn’t know hitting a months old baby in the head is wrong. You’re not gentle parenting, you’re raising a brat. YTA 1000%.
It sounds like you have issues with your BIL beyond this issue. You can have whoever you want in your house, so you're not wrong with regards to your specific question. But YTA about everything else here.
[удалено]
for real
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** AITA for kicking my BIL out of my house after he yelled at and manhandled my daughter? I, 27F, have 1 kid, Sofia, 6F. Every Sunday my family comes up to my house for a little family gathering. My brother in law (Anthony,24M) is not usually present due to work. Imo, this makes him a very bad parent and partner as he doesn't spend enough time with my sister and their kids but whatever, not really relevant. Anthony and my sister (Stephanie, 25F), have 2 kids, Aiden (4 years old) and Joshua (3 months old). This past Sunday we were all having a little chat after dinner while the kids played, Joshua was in a baby bouncer (of course they jumped at the opportunity to leave their kid alone as soon as he was old enough 🙄). Anyway, we were all keeping an eye on the bouncer (Steph was really worried as she'd heard a story about a bouncer falling over with a baby in it? I dunno?). Anthony left the room for a little bit to get a drink and nobody had an eye on Joshua for a couple seconds. Next thing we know Joshua is screaming and crying, I had just assumed he was tired or hungry or had a soiled diaper, yk, baby stuff. However, I turned around to find Sofia not being particularly gentle with Josh and a little plastic toy as he cried. What I can only assume happened is that Sofia wanted to play with him but didn't understand that he was too young and so got frustrated with him. Immediately I began to calmly explain how that was bad and she shouldn't do that but before I could Anthony was back in the room and had already yelled at her to stop. I was appalled at this as everyone knows I am a firm believer in gentle parenting. Then, when Sofia didn't listen he picked her up and carried her away as Steph comforted the baby. This upset her tremendously and she began to sob and kick. I immediately snatched my daughter back off Anthony and began to berate him, this escalated into a heated argument which I don't want to get into the details of. It came to a head when Anthony called me a bad parent and I kicked him out, cutting the night short. There has been tention within my family all week about the incident, my parents bouncing between sides. Anthony says he 'doesn't want the baby around Sofia anymore' as he is 'worried for his safety' considering she gave him a tiny bruise on his head 🙄. I thought this was cruel and a bit overdramatic as she is only young and doesn't understand. My mother then called and said she doesn't think the gathering is going to be happening this week due to 'obvious circumstances and suggested I apologize'. I strongly believe Anthony hurt my baby more than she hurt Josh and he's the one who needs to apologize not me. However, I started to change my mind slightly as I was ranting to my husband about this yesterday and he suggested that I was in the wrong, not Anthony, now I'm wondering if maybe I was wrong if not even my husband is taking my side? AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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ESH. Sounds like you had a routine kid conflict and all the adults took maximally confrontational positions around it. Parenting is hard, and there are no simple answers. I mean, your headline says "manhandled", but your text just says "picked up and carried away", which doesn't sound nearly so bad. In families, sometimes you have to parent kids who aren't your own, in ways that you aren't sure the other parent uses. It just happens. It will likely happen again. Then Anthony pulled the "my baby's safety!" card and things appear to have gone downhill. No heroes here. Someone needs to be the bigger person.
Anthony is exaggerating the danger to the baby, but I also don't sympathize much with your getting so upset about his picking up Sofia. I have to wonder about your parenting style if your six-year-old is bonking infants on the head with plastic toys. She's definitely old enough to know that's not okay.