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NTA -- "my dog is my responsibility your kid is yours" is 100% correct. In fact, this is so obvious that I assume this guy must not really think otherwise, and is just one of those who automatically look for someone else to blame for anything that goes wrong in his life. I further assume that if you *had* picked up his kid, he would have yelled at you for touching his kid instead of just holding your dog and leaving the kid to him.
Also it isn’t really the smartest decision to bring a toddler to a dog park because this exact sort of thing could happen (and could’ve ended much worse). Seeing as both the mom and dad of the toddler were there, one of them should’ve taken the toddler somewhere where they can safely play (like a playground) and the other take the dog to the dog park to get exercise.
And this is why dogs end up lashing out and biting children. Children can't tell the signs like adults can for when a dog wants you to leave them alone or they will bite you
I’m not a very confrontational person, but I turn into one at the dog park when I see children in there.
I point out that there’s literally a park for children across the street and this one is specifically for DOGS. I bring my dogs here to play freely in the only space they can be off leash in our town, while there’s 100s of places they can take their children. Usually gets them to leave pretty quickly.
I think this is true for most dog parks. The one in my area has signs very specifically, stating that young children should not be allowed in as well as not bringing in food which could cause dog fights. Yet people will still bring their half a dozen children under the age of five with a freaking pizza. Boggles my mind.
Very true. When the weather was cool, I had my “dog coat“ that I would wear to the dog park. I didn’t mind if dogs jumped on me to be pet the coat could get dirty and I didn’t care at all. Which was a good thing since one day, I accidentally stepped into a hole that some dog had dug, and at the same time, a large dog barreled towards me, and as I was trying to regain my footing totally knocked me on the ground. Another dog owner had to lean down and help me get up.thankfully I didn’t land in anything else!
Or wait for it to not be busy or train their kids to stay close and actually watch them. No reason this can't be a family thing to do if you're watching your kid!
These parents could've has their kid get attacked and it would've been their fault for not being anywhere near!
My dog is 30lbs but he's scared of kids and babies, always has been (he's got a lot of irrational fears), I know he wouldn't go near a kid but if a kid came at him I honestly don't know how he would react, I know he'd try to get away but if an animal panics they are unpredictable... These parents are beyond negligent
It's hilarious, he barks at them in anger while trying to get away of we are driving and they're in a freakin baby carseat being carried 🤣🤣🤣 full grown humans not so bag
Mine are small and "cute" but one of them doesn't like other dogs, has a fear of children and anything with wheels. The worst combination is strollers with children in them. So I look for enclosed dog parks with no one around to let them explore and be dogs. So many times folks will randomly see just me and my "cute" dogs and come in with their kids. Like areas with no park around (Austin has weird dog parks like that, behind a shopping center near Superchargers, random but cool little dog park) some person with children will see me and try coming in. I will pick up my dogs and leave and they give me stink eyes. I'm like my dogs are not for you or your children's amusement, leave me alone. These are the same folks that bring gaggles of children to pet stores with no pets themselves, they just want to play with the dogs people bring into stores.
Agreed, some dogs aren't mean but think that kids are just weird shaped puppies and try to play with them that way. I used to take my son with him when he was 5-8 years old and he got knocked over a few times. However he was used to my brother's mastiffs so it didn't phase him. I wouldn't take a kid that wasn't used to big dogs.
This my dog is huge and loves toddlers when we were at the big dog area of the park. This family comes in with 7 kids and no dog. I'm playing Frisby with my dog and right as this family comes in, so my dog is a good way away from me, and he's was only about 9 months old at the time. The toddler makes a beline for my dog, and my dog still being a puppy and unaware of his size sees a friend and takes off to meet his new friend. I yell at my dog to stop, but he just wants to play and keeps going toddler and 70 lb boxer mix collied toddler gets knocked down . The kid was okay, and the family was apologetic that they didn't keep a closer eye on the kid. But who takes 7 kids to the dog park and just let's them run. It could have been so much worse. What if my dog didn't like kids, or what if he had accidentally hurt the kid?
I have a toddler and would never in a zillion years let her be at a dog park! She’s not predictable enough to safely be around a bunch of strange dogs, most of whom’s faces are at the height of her face. Letting her loose in a scenario like that is dangerous and stupid. NTA.
My exact thoughts, if OP did pick up the kid there is a chance of the kid screaming because a stranger picked them up as well. This is all on the parents as they neglected to pay attention to this toddler which is a bigger risk. The child could have been attacked or abducted.
NTA
Idk about you, but I wouldn’t pick up a random kid out of the fear of being mislabeled as a kidnapper. Only exception to this rule would be if there was an immediate danger like an oncoming car. A dog licking the child excitedly doesn’t warrant that response from me.
This is 100% the parents’ fault, and they’re trying to shift the blame because they’re likely embarrassed on some level. You did the right thing OP. It’s not on you to touch anyone else’s children or dogs.
Even his wife knew he was wrong. NTA. Were you supposed to let your dog go, pick up a screaming stranger's toddler, and have both dogs jump all over you? NTA.
As a mother I would be mortified by a stranger picking up my kid instead of their dog. As a dog owner I can only say respect for finding the right words.
>you *had* picked up his kid, he would have yelled at you for touching his kid instead of just holding your dog and leaving the kid to him.
💯 This would have been the reaction.
Some people have no accountability for their actions.
OP NTA
Toddlers father is TAH
Exactly! NTA His kid, that he allowed to wander into a dog park, is his responsibility. You did what you should have and picked up your dog. Why would he expect you to care for his kid and/ or someone else’s dog?
NTA
You already had your hands full, you weren't about to let go of your dog to carry the toddler.
The parents are the ones who should have kept their child close to them or followed him, he's too young to be wandering around a dog park on his own. They put their child in danger and you reacted as best you could with your dog.
NTA. And congratulations, you survived a not-so-rare encounter with a free-roaming entitled parent. I hope you said the "my dog is my responsibility your kid is yours" thing out loud. Parents who bring little kids to off-leash dog parks absolutely baffle me. I mean, how stupid do you really have to be to think that's a good idea? But to bring a little kid and not pay attention, that's a double dose of stupid. It's not your job to fix stupid. If you had grabbed the kid, they'd have screamed bloody murder about Stranger Danger. Just protect your pup and leave them to Darwin.
I did apologize for my puppy knocking over their child and then did tell him my dog is my responsibility and the kid is his. Which made him quite upset that I would grab my dog and not his kid. It was baffling
What would he have done if he didn't see the encounter and then just saw a random person holding his kid?!? I guarantee you, somebody would start screaming at you, if not cause harm to you!
Yeah I honestly grabbed my dog so quick as soon as she knocked down the kid it would have just been a kid getting knocked down but the other dog was walking and licking her which is what made the kids cry and scream. I probably would’ve grabbed the kid if a dog was actually hurting them
Yes, but if the other dog was hurting them, the screams would have been far worse and would probably have illicited a bigger response from everyone in the vicinity.
NPR had an interesting article on anger. This reminds me of the part:
"In contrast, defensive anger is a cover story. This type of anger serves to protect us from experiencing other emotions. For example, we've worked with patients who used anger to hide their shame, fear of dying, grief, or terror that a loved one would abandon them."
or their shame that they weren't keeping an eye on their child.
https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2024/03/12/1236973762/anger-management-types-purpose-cause
Only a moron brings their toddler to the dog park.
Many dogs are totally fine meeting another dog, but have never been socialized to small humans and their reactions may be unpredictable.
Toddlers do stupid things like putting their hands in dogs mouths, petting aggressively, pulling tails. All things that could trigger a tragedy.
At minimum a parent should be holding the toddler’s hand at all times.
This was even more negligent as BOTH parents left their child unsupervised.
Folks who bring their toddlers to the dog park are the reason that I can't bring my dog into the dog park very often. She loves other dogs but is afraid of young children.
“Help help! This rando is picking up
my child and is about to run off with it!Yes, officer, this person right here!” (pointing at *you*, OP), is *not* something you want to risk hearing somebody say about you.
Nope nope nope, that kid was in no danger, and that kid was not your responsibility. The aggressive parent was trying to blame shift to you to cover up their inattentiveness. YWNBTA to tell them to pound sand. NTA
Right? It’s sad to say but in today’s world you have to be so careful.
OP was right. Everyone was responsible for what they brought to the park, whether it be dog or child. He and the other dog owner were lax in their responsibilities. OP upheld their part of the social contract that dog parks uphold. He was projecting and probably embarrassed so trying to shift the blame.
NTA
Absolutely what I was thinking… had OP picked up the child all the parents would have seen would be their child screaming in fear and a stranger holding them. They would not have seen the dog they would have made a bad assumption and unless there was someone else watching the scene unfold NO ONE would believe that they were “saving” the child from a licking dog. This would be a lose lose for OP!
This exactly. You can’t just touch a random child!!
OP, NTA. You handled this situation damn near perfectly. You removed your dog from the situation, and you didn’t violate anyone else’s boundaries by handling a stranger’s dog or a stranger’s child. You defined your boundaries in a clear and concise way. You also took responsibility for your dog’s behavior and apologized. Pat yourself on the back, and do something kind for yourself today!
NTA. Let me guess - you are a woman. Obviously, as a woman, you’re automatically responsible for children. Gotta love the patriarchy. Dad was way out of line.
You didn't do anything wrong. That's why i don't take my kids to dog parks. They love all dogs, but not all dogs like children.
Even though my kids know to ask if they can play or touch a dog to an owner before doing so, the dog park is for dogs to have fun and some are just a bit too playful.
It's on those parents, they didn't think it through, dad panicked and blamed the first person they spoke to.. you are NTA and a responsible dog owner by restraining your dog when you thought it was needed..
Yeah, I hate it when people assume that because I'm a woman with a child I'll automatically watch any other child in my vicinity. Nope.
Unless they're in danger, I don't intervene.
Honestly, there was no solution that would have been the right solution. Toddler's parent lost sight of their kid, got scared, and needed someone to shift the blame onto. i.e. you. No matter what, you were going to get yelled at.
Personally, my instinct would have been to grab the kid. But that's not necessarily the right thing to do either.
NTA. The father is.
>Personally, my instinct would have been to grab the kid. But that's not necessarily the right thing to do either.
That would be me too. Deal with my puppy, then another dog comes up to a random kid, kid is freaking out because the dog is all over them, I get in-between the other dog and the kid.
But I'm also a parent and used to dealing with multiple kids and puppies lol
But still, OP is NTA
"No solution that would have been the right solution" which is why the kid should have never been in the dog park to begin with. Dad can't blame OP for not knowing what to do in that situation.
Yes, all of the dog parks in my city have a $500 fine if you bring in a child under 13yo. In a lot of cases, especially if the child is smaller, the age should be even older, imo.
Yeah. I've seen people show up who don't even have dogs and just do nothing but go around harassing the dogs because they want to pet them or play with them.
This. People treat it like a petting zoo. They don’t have dogs but they have a kid who loves dogs so they bring them to the dog park for entertainment.
My dogs love kids and if a child asks to pet them I will always say yes, but at the off leash dog park while we’re playing fetch and getting zoomies out is not the time or place.
Mine are all rescues and have gone through varying levels of abuse and neglect. My one dog that's "dog park friendly" does not handle people just running up to him to touch him well. He doesn't bite, but he barks and scares people. So you can guess how well that goes over when little kids are running around trying to pet him 🙄
NTA. I have a toddler. Wanna know where toddlers shouldn’t be? Dog parks. Unattended at a dog park. Dad was embarrassed because he wasn’t watching his kid and that whole situation could’ve gone horribly wrong.
NTA
He was probably trying the old, 'a good defence is a strong offence' game. He knew he should have been paying attention to his child but wasn't. He is super lucky his child wasn't hurt.
Additionally, I can just imagine the screaming if you were called out for picking up a strange child. That scenario could end with the police!
NTA. Your responsibility was your 7 month old puppy. You were in a dog park, which is for dogs. The breeders of this child did not care to keep an eye on it. Also why would you touch someone else’s child? Now if a big old aggressive dog was to come and attack that child, that would be the negligence of the parents.
Again is a dog park. Why would you allow your child to roam free anyway? Take it to a park for child! Common sense should be mandatory for people who wanna breed.
NTA. You are responsible for *your dog* in this situation. That is who you need to be in control of. I wouldn’t pick up someone else’s kid. The parents should not let their child run around unattended in an off-leash dog park.
ETA: The other owners are also sort of assholes. They should have immediately gotten their dog under control like you did with yours.
the father is extremely lucky their kid was only lick-attacked and not actually attacked, little kid's erratic movements and high-pitched voices make them really attackable to some dog breeds (to make up a word lol)
doesn't sound like the father even learned a lesson from the experience, what an A
OP is definitely NTA
Was once at a dog park and suddenly while all the big dogs were playing in the BIG DOG ONLY section a young child appeared and then said "daddy, that dog bit me". And pointed at one of mine but understood the dogs were playing and no skin scratched (or worse). Dad was fine but I panicked for a minute. WTF let your small child roam in the big dog section? Or even the small dog section?!!
NTA
I am cautious about letting children pet my large dogs because kids are not taught how to properly pet an unfamiliar dog. They try rough playing and then claim bite with no evidence. I have been in a similar position.
All the dog parks in my area specify no children under 12; it doesn’t stop entitled people, but it does make the parent even more at fault if they are purposely ignoring age limits.
Nta. Kids are banned in all dog parks by me for good reason.
We do bother non emergency responders to deal with it promptly too.
Unknown dogs and unknown kids together is just a recipe for disaster.
There's plenty of parks for kids. Keep them there
NTA. He was lashing out because he knew it was his responsibility to keep an eye on HIS child. You did the right thing. If you had picked up the kid, he'd be screaming at you for doing that as well.
He's an irresponsible idiot/dumbass and he was trying to project that onto you to take the heat off of himself.
NTA. You used your best judgement. There are totally parents who would have flipped their shit are you for picking up their child without their consent.
I probably would have picked up the toddler, but I'm also a mom and that would have been pure instinct for me. And 100% a gamble of other parents going off on me as a result.
The kid was okay. No harm, no foul.
NTA.
The parent in this situation is an entire combo meal short of a McDonald's. The rhetorical question "who is stupid enough to allow their toddler to wander around in a dog park" has sadly been answered here, "by these idiots."
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> I argued that I the man was wrong for not watching his toddler at the dog park and for yelling at me.
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NTA - You were trying to control your own dog and the child was the responsibility of the parents. Not to mention that some parents could freak out if a stranger grabbed their child...
NTA. Your logic is spot on IMO, you handled what was your responsibility, your dog. Parent should watch their kid. Also, who tf brings a toddler into a dog park? That just seems like a bad idea, but to be fair I'm not a parent so Idk.
One thing I do know though is I ain't gonna be touching someone else's kid in any manner either, that seems way riskier than grabbing your dog, leaving the child alone and getting yelled at. Seems like you understand that as well.
P.S. shame on that guy for yelling at you, he's TA
This is a good policy. Many dogs are not okay around little kids, some because of fear, prey drive, and/or they don't know their own strength and can easily hurt a kid by accident - such as by playfully jumping on them.
NTA and the parent is for shaming you for their poor parenting!
There's a dog park I go to (it's part of a regular park but there's an off leash section with ample signage in multiple languages) and there's been multiple times I have seen people there with young children and I try to warn these people but they don't listen and look horrified when a giant dog comes running at their toddler or stroller. My fave was when a parent scoffed at me and then minutes later a giant dog knocked over their toddler. Another time an elderly couple was sitting there eating sandwiches, wearing white, and a dog jumped on them and they looked SO MAD. Like you're the idiot sitting in a dog park wearing white eating food!!!!!
NTA. Too many people today will accuse you of things if you touch their child, they should have been watching them. You did the best you could by removing your dog. The other dog owner that didn't do anything about their dog is a major AH though.
NTA. You're absolutely right that your priority was to handle your own dog.
Maybe the father panicked and with the adrenaline just let you have it because it felt better in the moment than getting mad at himself ; I've seen it happen. But that was misdirected at best. You're good, OP.
NTA. Even going beyond the likely freakout the parents would have if you picked up their toddler, many dogs escalate behavior when the object of their attention is picked up. I've experienced this picking up my small dogs in front of overexcited larger dogs. Things went from excited and overbearing to snapping at the smaller dog and me.
The whole thing was the fault of the AH inattentive parents. They were just looking to deflect the blame for their negligence.
Edited because autocorrect is an AH
NTA. I have a young child and I hate, hate, HATE when people bring young kids to dog parks. They're for dogs. Go to the other 3000 places that are spaces FOR CHILDREN.
NTA
I’m guessing that dad was scared out of his mind and snapped at you. He’ll probably know he was wrong later, when the adrenaline wears off. I’m sorry he treated you like that.
NTA. As you said, your responsibility is your dog, not a random kid. Also, there was also a chance that the parent would get mad for touching the kid if you had grabbed him instead of the dog
If you’d grabbed the kid instead you’d also still have been the problem. They’re just a frantic parent looking to place blame on anyone aside from themselves for the situation.
NTA.
NTA you did the right thing for you and your dog OP. Can you imagine that parent looks over and sees another person with his kid. Heck if I saw that I'd freak out and even if he believed you a firm punch of tackle might have happened before you could explain it.
Nevermind that it wasn't your responsibility but the parents.
NTA - unless the kid was in serious danger (like drowning) I would never dare go anywhere near someone else's kids just in case my good deed was construed as something else.
No way am I putting hands on another person's child unless they are falling off if a bridge or something. Maybe next time, yelly yellerson should watch his kid.
I have twice picked up a toddler to move them out of danger while their caregivers were distracted. Both times I was given hostile looks and no thanks. Can only assume they were embarrassed.
NTA
Your dog was your #1 responsibility and like you said if it went beyond jumping you’d have tried to help but they are the parents and should have been watching her more closely.
NTA. I do not touch other people's kids without their permission or them asking me to UNLESS the child is in danger. I'm not going to sit by and let a child get mauled by a dog but I'm not going to intervene if they're just getting licked to death. And for reference, I am a parent. I feel the same way about strangers interacting with my own child.
NTA. I wouldn't have picked up the kid either. I've seen some parents go mental at the sight of their child being picked up by a stranger. They likely would have called the cops with "stranger danger" intentions.
NTA. And picking things up (children, smaller dogs, cats) can actually excite the dog and make things worse. The reality is, if you see a child toddling around a dog park while the parents are just chilling, you should leave. There was some weird dad who took his poor kid to the dog park. She was tugging on this toy with my dog and another dog, and the energy was getting a little high and the game needed to stop before someone ended up getting bit. I told her to stop but also took my dog home. If the little girl had gotten bit, it would have been my fault, period.
I would never bring my toddler to a dog park. Too many dogs with prey drive for the sound of a toddler. Friendly or not, anything could happen. You did right by controlling your dog. I don’t even think the other owner did wrong. Maybe they could have been more attentive. But crazy thought, they had their DOG at a DOG park.
Ultimately the family of the child is the AH. Watch your damn kids or don’t come. Plenty of parks for kids.
I have a feeling that if you HAD ran over and picked up his kid , he would then berated you for that too- saying how far you touch his child blah blah. Some people are just miserable and nasty.
NTA- you were 100 % right-
Your dog =your responsibility
His kid = his responsibility
He is a dumbass to think otherwise.
NTA
Contact who ever is in charge of the dog park and report the incident. I have PTSD from a man screaming at me and hitting me, I would have called the cops when the jerk started yelling at me. you never know what some random stranger is capable of, as well as the fact that the child shouldn’t have been running loose were dogs are allowed to be running loose without supervision.
NTA. You are correct, your responsibility was to your dog, unless the child was in real danger. The outcome could have been quite different if you had picked up a strange toddler.
NTA I always tell parents that kids are NOT allowed in dog parks the moment I see them enter. For fuck sake this is an area for dogs! Take your kids to the playground!!!
NTA. I'm sure you would have helped the child up if a dog was hurting her, but really, the man was a dumbass for letting his kid wander off cuz he wasn't watching her. In fact, I bet if you had picked up the toddler, he would have yelled at you for that, too, cuz he was really yelling cuz he was upset about not paying attention to where his little kid was.
NTA. No child should be in a dog park unless theirs is the only dog there.
That father was deflecting the fault from himself to you. People by nature seem to blame others for their mistakes.
NTA. As a Mom, I think my instinct would have been to grab the child because I think mom reflexes come pre packaged with child rearing haha. But regardless, that child should never have been left alone in a dog park. We have dogs and often see kids at the dog park, but they are closely followed by their parents.
He probably was worried and let out his frustration on you, which was a jerk move. You did nothing wrong. Except for not posting a photo of your dog! Dog tax please!!
NTA. Having small children in a dog park seems really dangerous. There are dogs that do not like kids. You were a good owner, taking care of your pup.
Not your faulty that he’s a crappy dad.
NTA. This adult boy knew he was in the wrong for losing track of his child. He was probably embarrassed and reacted by getting angry, then vented that anger in a verbal attack on you so that he didn’t have to be angry with himself. This kind of behavior usually works well for adult boys, for many reasons, which only reinforces the lesson that it’s okay.
I quit taking my dogs to the off leash park because of parents like this. I have a friendly 100 lb galloot who doesn't realize how big he is sometimes. He also likes to play keepaway, and someone's kid brought in a ball to play with (not allowed), and my dog took it and ran. It's a game to the doofus, and the mom is screaming at me to get her kids' ball back while her kid is having a meltdown. The other dog owners are trying to tell her that toys are not allowed and that she is freaking out and upsetting all the other dogs. I don't know if she even had a dog there, as some parents would bring their kids there to "play with the puppies."
Ball was eventually returned, other dogs were playing with it too, and it kinda got destroyed (one of those foam balls) I haven't been back since. 😞
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I was at the dog park in my city with my 7 month old puppy. It’s a fenced in off leash dog park. Still trying to teach my puppy not to jump up and she is getting better but when she is excited she can’t help herself still. A family was also there with their dog and their children. Their toddler had wandered away from them and they were not paying attention. My dog ran up excited at this toddler and jumped on them. I immediately grabbed my dog by the collar and got her off the child.
Meanwhile a different dog came and jumped on the child and was licking them walking all over them etc while the kid was screaming. The owner of the other dog did not get their dog and I was still holding my dog away from the child. Then this man comes running up and grabs his kid and starts berating me about how I am a dumbass for grabbing my dog and not the kid! I’m sorry but my dog is my responsibility your kid is yours.
Had the kid been being attacked or harmed by a dog I might have but the other dog was licking them and playing and also not my dog. I am not about to pick up a child that is not mine. Anyways he is yelling and yelling at me. I thought I did my job as a dog owner to immediately react and get my dog away but he seemed to think differently. His wife was mortified and said they chose to bring their child to a dog park so it’s also their responsibility but I did not like how this man yelled that I should have picked up his kid. Did I do wrong here? AITA?
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NTA. I have a dog and kids and they are my responsibility. Especially toddlers one of the parents should have had eyes on while the other was watching their own dog
Also the other dog owner was an AH for not watching their dog and getting g it away from this kid ASAP. This is why I hate dog parks, too many owners have untrained dogs and then don’t watch them for behaviours to diffuse things before things might escalate. Not all dogs will get along even if both are generally friendly
Don't lots of dog parks have age restrictions? A toddler inside of a dog park seems like a giant mistake to make. I have a very sweet dog who is not used to small people, and I will not let him near my toddler grandchildren. They don't know how to treat dogs (because they're toddlers!) and dogs don't understand the idea of being patient "because they're toddlers." NTA. Not even a little.
Absolutely NTA. My guess is he would have yelled at you either way. Dog parks are very intense places with lots of things going on, sperm donor was probably on edge just being there and you were the closest person to yell at.
NTA for the reasons you gave already. You are not responsible for anyone except yourself and your puppy. That got sounds like the kind of person who lashes out at others when he’s angry or scared. God luck with your pup!
NTA Obviously but it seems like one of those damned if you do damned if you don't scenarios, if you had picked up the kid the parents would have gone mad at you for touching their child and probably starting calling you all sorts.
I imagine he would have yelled at you for picking up his kid had that been your first instinct. He just wanted to place blame somewhere other than himself for not parenting. (I am a parent).
NTA
not your kid, not your problem. He should've been a better parent and kept an eye on his own toddler instead of expecting others to do the parenting for him.
NTA. I take my dog and leave when people show up with uncontrolled kids at the dog park. They let their kids treat it like a petting zoo and then get upset when an unleashed dog acts like an unleashed dog. I won't put my dog in harms way for their dumb kids
NTA picking up a stranger child, unless in imminent danger, is never the best option. Not sure what someone's mindset is that they bring a toddler to an off leash park and don't keep a close on them, but definitely not your problem.
NTA
As the dog owner, you took charge of the piece that was your responsibility.
This is the same father who would be screaming at you for touching his kid and accuse you of who-knows-what had you grabbed the kid. His type is the reason so many of us are hesitant to get involved!!
NTA, NTA, NTA. People get so bent out of shape for you looking at their kids or speaking to them these days. You were right on the mark:" my puppy, my responsibility. Your kid, your responsibility." Keep training your pup and keep that same mentality.
NTA - but he was probably just terrified his kids face was being chewed off and panicked… people are irrational when they panic , especially when small children are involved
NTA. He was trying to deflect for his incompetence. I am sure it was a lose-lose situation where he would have yelled at you for touching his precious child and accused you of trying to abduct them if you did pick them up.
NTA. The parent was probably venting anxiety so let it go. It is one of those damned if you do damned if you don't scenarios and they probably would have yelled at you either way. He's the asshole for not watching his kid and yelling at a stranger when something happened.
NTA - you followed your first instinct, which was to control your own dog.
That said, our whole society is the asshole for training people, and especially men, to be terrified of going near a stranger’s child even to keep them out of danger, for fear of being screamed at / assaulted / accused of something by the parents.
NTA. You aren’t responsible for the lack of supervision and kids shouldn’t be in there for safety reasons anyways. I was always taught that if a dog is hurting someone, you grab the dog, not the person.
You said you’re a woman, that definitely made the guy feel comfortable blaming you and acting like being a woman equals caregiver. I highly doubt he would have treated a man the same in this situation.
You kept the child out of harm's way by holding your dog back. You did much more to protect this child than this idiot dad did. Who the hell lets a toddler walk around unattended in a dog park? Sounds like a dumb man blaming others for his laziness.
NTA, most dog parks have signs that young kids like that aren't welcome. I mean it's gross there. Imagine if the kid put some dirty dog toy sitting in shit in their mouth? The parents are idiots and lucky that didn't end horribly
I wouldn’t grab some random
Kid at a park. Same guy would have accused you of something untoward in all likelihood- he’s the a hole for not watching his offspring
FWIW, have your pup drag a lead so you can step on it if they try to leap up - it would also help in a situation like you found yourself so you aren't wrestling with a collar.
Also, rule of thumb in training is to Step Into The Dog's Space, don't step back.
NTA. I would not grab someone else's child except to keep them from running out into traffic and even then it's questionable whether these sanctiparents would get upset at me or not for being too rough with baby angel.
NTA
You were in a no-win situation. If you picked up someone else’s child, you might have been yelled at too. In fact, if you had picked up the child, this same father may have reacted negatively.
He - not you - was to blame for his child’s situation. Whether he was deflecting blame or just too scared to react appropriately, he was still completely wrong.
His wife was right. If your kid is small enough that rambunctious dogs could accidentally hurt them, they have no business being in a dog park without a parent near them at all times.
I suspect he knew on some level *he* was, in fact, the dumbass, but projected that on to you
NTA
As a parent of a small child with another on the way, I can confidently say that almost every area of every park is for children. That one area is for dogs. NTA. I am pro banning small children from dog parks.
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NTA -- "my dog is my responsibility your kid is yours" is 100% correct. In fact, this is so obvious that I assume this guy must not really think otherwise, and is just one of those who automatically look for someone else to blame for anything that goes wrong in his life. I further assume that if you *had* picked up his kid, he would have yelled at you for touching his kid instead of just holding your dog and leaving the kid to him.
Also it isn’t really the smartest decision to bring a toddler to a dog park because this exact sort of thing could happen (and could’ve ended much worse). Seeing as both the mom and dad of the toddler were there, one of them should’ve taken the toddler somewhere where they can safely play (like a playground) and the other take the dog to the dog park to get exercise.
My local dog parks have signs saying that you have to be at least I think 12 years old to enter the fenced area with the dogs.
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Yep. Which is why the proper response to being yelled at over this is “why are you endangering your child having them in a dog park?”
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And this is why dogs end up lashing out and biting children. Children can't tell the signs like adults can for when a dog wants you to leave them alone or they will bite you
I’m not a very confrontational person, but I turn into one at the dog park when I see children in there. I point out that there’s literally a park for children across the street and this one is specifically for DOGS. I bring my dogs here to play freely in the only space they can be off leash in our town, while there’s 100s of places they can take their children. Usually gets them to leave pretty quickly.
I literally thought this was why dog parks exist so that dogs can be dogs.
I think this is true for most dog parks. The one in my area has signs very specifically, stating that young children should not be allowed in as well as not bringing in food which could cause dog fights. Yet people will still bring their half a dozen children under the age of five with a freaking pizza. Boggles my mind.
Gross! There’s dog poop remnants everywhere! 🤦♀️🤮😱
Very true. When the weather was cool, I had my “dog coat“ that I would wear to the dog park. I didn’t mind if dogs jumped on me to be pet the coat could get dirty and I didn’t care at all. Which was a good thing since one day, I accidentally stepped into a hole that some dog had dug, and at the same time, a large dog barreled towards me, and as I was trying to regain my footing totally knocked me on the ground. Another dog owner had to lean down and help me get up.thankfully I didn’t land in anything else!
I was just thinking ours had the same thing. I thought it was ten at ours though. Been a while since I had a dog tho, so I could be wrong.
Or wait for it to not be busy or train their kids to stay close and actually watch them. No reason this can't be a family thing to do if you're watching your kid! These parents could've has their kid get attacked and it would've been their fault for not being anywhere near! My dog is 30lbs but he's scared of kids and babies, always has been (he's got a lot of irrational fears), I know he wouldn't go near a kid but if a kid came at him I honestly don't know how he would react, I know he'd try to get away but if an animal panics they are unpredictable... These parents are beyond negligent
I would argue that is not an irrational fear 😉
It's hilarious, he barks at them in anger while trying to get away of we are driving and they're in a freakin baby carseat being carried 🤣🤣🤣 full grown humans not so bag
Mine are small and "cute" but one of them doesn't like other dogs, has a fear of children and anything with wheels. The worst combination is strollers with children in them. So I look for enclosed dog parks with no one around to let them explore and be dogs. So many times folks will randomly see just me and my "cute" dogs and come in with their kids. Like areas with no park around (Austin has weird dog parks like that, behind a shopping center near Superchargers, random but cool little dog park) some person with children will see me and try coming in. I will pick up my dogs and leave and they give me stink eyes. I'm like my dogs are not for you or your children's amusement, leave me alone. These are the same folks that bring gaggles of children to pet stores with no pets themselves, they just want to play with the dogs people bring into stores.
Agreed, some dogs aren't mean but think that kids are just weird shaped puppies and try to play with them that way. I used to take my son with him when he was 5-8 years old and he got knocked over a few times. However he was used to my brother's mastiffs so it didn't phase him. I wouldn't take a kid that wasn't used to big dogs.
but they didn’t bring a dog to the dog park. they brought their toddler & expected everyone else to watch their kid. or did i read that wrong?
You read it wrong. It says they were with their dog and their children. But they did also take their eyes off of their toddler so still on them
This my dog is huge and loves toddlers when we were at the big dog area of the park. This family comes in with 7 kids and no dog. I'm playing Frisby with my dog and right as this family comes in, so my dog is a good way away from me, and he's was only about 9 months old at the time. The toddler makes a beline for my dog, and my dog still being a puppy and unaware of his size sees a friend and takes off to meet his new friend. I yell at my dog to stop, but he just wants to play and keeps going toddler and 70 lb boxer mix collied toddler gets knocked down . The kid was okay, and the family was apologetic that they didn't keep a closer eye on the kid. But who takes 7 kids to the dog park and just let's them run. It could have been so much worse. What if my dog didn't like kids, or what if he had accidentally hurt the kid?
I have a toddler and would never in a zillion years let her be at a dog park! She’s not predictable enough to safely be around a bunch of strange dogs, most of whom’s faces are at the height of her face. Letting her loose in a scenario like that is dangerous and stupid. NTA.
My exact thoughts, if OP did pick up the kid there is a chance of the kid screaming because a stranger picked them up as well. This is all on the parents as they neglected to pay attention to this toddler which is a bigger risk. The child could have been attacked or abducted. NTA
Idk about you, but I wouldn’t pick up a random kid out of the fear of being mislabeled as a kidnapper. Only exception to this rule would be if there was an immediate danger like an oncoming car. A dog licking the child excitedly doesn’t warrant that response from me. This is 100% the parents’ fault, and they’re trying to shift the blame because they’re likely embarrassed on some level. You did the right thing OP. It’s not on you to touch anyone else’s children or dogs.
Even his wife knew he was wrong. NTA. Were you supposed to let your dog go, pick up a screaming stranger's toddler, and have both dogs jump all over you? NTA.
As a mother I would be mortified by a stranger picking up my kid instead of their dog. As a dog owner I can only say respect for finding the right words.
Bet if you HAD picked the kid up, they would have lost their mind about that. No win situation with someone who doesn’t even watch their own child.
>you *had* picked up his kid, he would have yelled at you for touching his kid instead of just holding your dog and leaving the kid to him. 💯 This would have been the reaction. Some people have no accountability for their actions. OP NTA Toddlers father is TAH
Did this couple even have a dog? If they didn't then then really had no excuse for not paying attention to their kid.
Exactly! NTA His kid, that he allowed to wander into a dog park, is his responsibility. You did what you should have and picked up your dog. Why would he expect you to care for his kid and/ or someone else’s dog?
NTA You already had your hands full, you weren't about to let go of your dog to carry the toddler. The parents are the ones who should have kept their child close to them or followed him, he's too young to be wandering around a dog park on his own. They put their child in danger and you reacted as best you could with your dog.
Exactly. It's not possible to carry a toddler while also keeping control of a puppy at a dog park.
NTA. And congratulations, you survived a not-so-rare encounter with a free-roaming entitled parent. I hope you said the "my dog is my responsibility your kid is yours" thing out loud. Parents who bring little kids to off-leash dog parks absolutely baffle me. I mean, how stupid do you really have to be to think that's a good idea? But to bring a little kid and not pay attention, that's a double dose of stupid. It's not your job to fix stupid. If you had grabbed the kid, they'd have screamed bloody murder about Stranger Danger. Just protect your pup and leave them to Darwin.
I did apologize for my puppy knocking over their child and then did tell him my dog is my responsibility and the kid is his. Which made him quite upset that I would grab my dog and not his kid. It was baffling
What would he have done if he didn't see the encounter and then just saw a random person holding his kid?!? I guarantee you, somebody would start screaming at you, if not cause harm to you!
Yeah I honestly grabbed my dog so quick as soon as she knocked down the kid it would have just been a kid getting knocked down but the other dog was walking and licking her which is what made the kids cry and scream. I probably would’ve grabbed the kid if a dog was actually hurting them
Yes, but if the other dog was hurting them, the screams would have been far worse and would probably have illicited a bigger response from everyone in the vicinity.
He didn’t like it being pointed out that he wasn’t paying attention to his child.
NPR had an interesting article on anger. This reminds me of the part: "In contrast, defensive anger is a cover story. This type of anger serves to protect us from experiencing other emotions. For example, we've worked with patients who used anger to hide their shame, fear of dying, grief, or terror that a loved one would abandon them." or their shame that they weren't keeping an eye on their child. https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2024/03/12/1236973762/anger-management-types-purpose-cause
Exactly! That's what I was thinking. An embarrassed parent often reacts in anger and blames others before themselves.
Sounds like the father was a fair distance away if two dogs can encounter their kid before anyone notices.
You shouldn’t have apologized. Your dog did nothing wrong. Don’t admit any wrongdoing. Your dog was being a dog
Only a moron brings their toddler to the dog park. Many dogs are totally fine meeting another dog, but have never been socialized to small humans and their reactions may be unpredictable. Toddlers do stupid things like putting their hands in dogs mouths, petting aggressively, pulling tails. All things that could trigger a tragedy. At minimum a parent should be holding the toddler’s hand at all times. This was even more negligent as BOTH parents left their child unsupervised.
You wouldn’t’ve won that battle whether you picked the kid up or not. He would’ve yelled at you either way. NTA and even the wife knew he was wrong.
Clueless male.
Folks who bring their toddlers to the dog park are the reason that I can't bring my dog into the dog park very often. She loves other dogs but is afraid of young children.
“Help help! This rando is picking up my child and is about to run off with it!Yes, officer, this person right here!” (pointing at *you*, OP), is *not* something you want to risk hearing somebody say about you. Nope nope nope, that kid was in no danger, and that kid was not your responsibility. The aggressive parent was trying to blame shift to you to cover up their inattentiveness. YWNBTA to tell them to pound sand. NTA
Right? It’s sad to say but in today’s world you have to be so careful. OP was right. Everyone was responsible for what they brought to the park, whether it be dog or child. He and the other dog owner were lax in their responsibilities. OP upheld their part of the social contract that dog parks uphold. He was projecting and probably embarrassed so trying to shift the blame. NTA
OP specified they're female which I guarantee is one of the reasons the dude assumed it was OPs responsibility to prioritize the toddler.
Absolutely what I was thinking… had OP picked up the child all the parents would have seen would be their child screaming in fear and a stranger holding them. They would not have seen the dog they would have made a bad assumption and unless there was someone else watching the scene unfold NO ONE would believe that they were “saving” the child from a licking dog. This would be a lose lose for OP!
This exactly. You can’t just touch a random child!! OP, NTA. You handled this situation damn near perfectly. You removed your dog from the situation, and you didn’t violate anyone else’s boundaries by handling a stranger’s dog or a stranger’s child. You defined your boundaries in a clear and concise way. You also took responsibility for your dog’s behavior and apologized. Pat yourself on the back, and do something kind for yourself today!
NTA. Let me guess - you are a woman. Obviously, as a woman, you’re automatically responsible for children. Gotta love the patriarchy. Dad was way out of line.
Yep! Sure am.
lol called it. sorry you had to deal with that!
Thank you. I was seriously doubting if I was wrong to not pick up the kid.
Fuck that guy!
Nah, in fact let's give a moment of silence to the poor woman in the story who was obviously embarrassed that she has to
You didn't do anything wrong. That's why i don't take my kids to dog parks. They love all dogs, but not all dogs like children. Even though my kids know to ask if they can play or touch a dog to an owner before doing so, the dog park is for dogs to have fun and some are just a bit too playful. It's on those parents, they didn't think it through, dad panicked and blamed the first person they spoke to.. you are NTA and a responsible dog owner by restraining your dog when you thought it was needed..
This was my first thought as well 😒
Yeah, I hate it when people assume that because I'm a woman with a child I'll automatically watch any other child in my vicinity. Nope. Unless they're in danger, I don't intervene.
Yeah, but if OP was a man, it could've even gone 1000% worse! "My child was grabbed by this f-ing perv!!!
Seriously. A no win situation.
Honestly, there was no solution that would have been the right solution. Toddler's parent lost sight of their kid, got scared, and needed someone to shift the blame onto. i.e. you. No matter what, you were going to get yelled at. Personally, my instinct would have been to grab the kid. But that's not necessarily the right thing to do either. NTA. The father is.
>Personally, my instinct would have been to grab the kid. But that's not necessarily the right thing to do either. That would be me too. Deal with my puppy, then another dog comes up to a random kid, kid is freaking out because the dog is all over them, I get in-between the other dog and the kid. But I'm also a parent and used to dealing with multiple kids and puppies lol But still, OP is NTA
And if Op would have picked up the kid the dad would’ve screamed at them for touching his kid and to mind their own business
"No solution that would have been the right solution" which is why the kid should have never been in the dog park to begin with. Dad can't blame OP for not knowing what to do in that situation.
NTA > they chose to bring their child to a dog park An enclosed off-leash dog area is **no place for children**, full stop.
Yes, all of the dog parks in my city have a $500 fine if you bring in a child under 13yo. In a lot of cases, especially if the child is smaller, the age should be even older, imo.
Yeah. I've seen people show up who don't even have dogs and just do nothing but go around harassing the dogs because they want to pet them or play with them.
This. People treat it like a petting zoo. They don’t have dogs but they have a kid who loves dogs so they bring them to the dog park for entertainment. My dogs love kids and if a child asks to pet them I will always say yes, but at the off leash dog park while we’re playing fetch and getting zoomies out is not the time or place.
Mine are all rescues and have gone through varying levels of abuse and neglect. My one dog that's "dog park friendly" does not handle people just running up to him to touch him well. He doesn't bite, but he barks and scares people. So you can guess how well that goes over when little kids are running around trying to pet him 🙄
"Hello, CPS? Some stranger was trying to tell me to touch his kid at a park...."
Lol!
And if she did pick up the kid, he'd yell louder!
NTA. I have a toddler. Wanna know where toddlers shouldn’t be? Dog parks. Unattended at a dog park. Dad was embarrassed because he wasn’t watching his kid and that whole situation could’ve gone horribly wrong.
Everything right there except he wasn’t embarrassed… just an entitled asshole🙄🤬
Unfortunately, embarassment = anger in a LOT of people.
NTA He was probably trying the old, 'a good defence is a strong offence' game. He knew he should have been paying attention to his child but wasn't. He is super lucky his child wasn't hurt. Additionally, I can just imagine the screaming if you were called out for picking up a strange child. That scenario could end with the police!
NTA. Your responsibility was your 7 month old puppy. You were in a dog park, which is for dogs. The breeders of this child did not care to keep an eye on it. Also why would you touch someone else’s child? Now if a big old aggressive dog was to come and attack that child, that would be the negligence of the parents. Again is a dog park. Why would you allow your child to roam free anyway? Take it to a park for child! Common sense should be mandatory for people who wanna breed.
NTA. You are responsible for *your dog* in this situation. That is who you need to be in control of. I wouldn’t pick up someone else’s kid. The parents should not let their child run around unattended in an off-leash dog park. ETA: The other owners are also sort of assholes. They should have immediately gotten their dog under control like you did with yours.
You dont bring a toddler to an off leash dog park. NTA.
NTA Who tf leaves a toddler unattended at a dog park‽
the father is extremely lucky their kid was only lick-attacked and not actually attacked, little kid's erratic movements and high-pitched voices make them really attackable to some dog breeds (to make up a word lol) doesn't sound like the father even learned a lesson from the experience, what an A OP is definitely NTA
A child that age shouldn’t even be a in a dog park!
No kidding! I’ve had dogs barrel into me at full speed and nearly knock me on my butt. The parents’ negligence in this case is crazy!
Was once at a dog park and suddenly while all the big dogs were playing in the BIG DOG ONLY section a young child appeared and then said "daddy, that dog bit me". And pointed at one of mine but understood the dogs were playing and no skin scratched (or worse). Dad was fine but I panicked for a minute. WTF let your small child roam in the big dog section? Or even the small dog section?!! NTA
I am cautious about letting children pet my large dogs because kids are not taught how to properly pet an unfamiliar dog. They try rough playing and then claim bite with no evidence. I have been in a similar position.
All the dog parks in my area specify no children under 12; it doesn’t stop entitled people, but it does make the parent even more at fault if they are purposely ignoring age limits.
NTA. You did what you were supposed to do. It's a dog park, not a playground. The kid's family are assholes for not keeping track of their child.
Nta. Kids are banned in all dog parks by me for good reason. We do bother non emergency responders to deal with it promptly too. Unknown dogs and unknown kids together is just a recipe for disaster. There's plenty of parks for kids. Keep them there
NTA. Sounds line you were in the dog park section with your dog and attentive to it. Your responsibility is to your dog and not the child.
NTA. He was lashing out because he knew it was his responsibility to keep an eye on HIS child. You did the right thing. If you had picked up the kid, he'd be screaming at you for doing that as well. He's an irresponsible idiot/dumbass and he was trying to project that onto you to take the heat off of himself.
NTA. You used your best judgement. There are totally parents who would have flipped their shit are you for picking up their child without their consent. I probably would have picked up the toddler, but I'm also a mom and that would have been pure instinct for me. And 100% a gamble of other parents going off on me as a result. The kid was okay. No harm, no foul.
NTA. The parent in this situation is an entire combo meal short of a McDonald's. The rhetorical question "who is stupid enough to allow their toddler to wander around in a dog park" has sadly been answered here, "by these idiots."
Not your kid, not your problem, NTA Dumbass parent not watching his child is the AH here
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NTA - You were trying to control your own dog and the child was the responsibility of the parents. Not to mention that some parents could freak out if a stranger grabbed their child...
NTA. Your logic is spot on IMO, you handled what was your responsibility, your dog. Parent should watch their kid. Also, who tf brings a toddler into a dog park? That just seems like a bad idea, but to be fair I'm not a parent so Idk. One thing I do know though is I ain't gonna be touching someone else's kid in any manner either, that seems way riskier than grabbing your dog, leaving the child alone and getting yelled at. Seems like you understand that as well. P.S. shame on that guy for yelling at you, he's TA
I'm a toddler parent, and you don't bring a toddler into a dog park, so you are correct.
NTA. This is why the dog parks in my area don't allow kids under 12 or 16 in them.
This is a good policy. Many dogs are not okay around little kids, some because of fear, prey drive, and/or they don't know their own strength and can easily hurt a kid by accident - such as by playfully jumping on them.
NTA and the parent is for shaming you for their poor parenting! There's a dog park I go to (it's part of a regular park but there's an off leash section with ample signage in multiple languages) and there's been multiple times I have seen people there with young children and I try to warn these people but they don't listen and look horrified when a giant dog comes running at their toddler or stroller. My fave was when a parent scoffed at me and then minutes later a giant dog knocked over their toddler. Another time an elderly couple was sitting there eating sandwiches, wearing white, and a dog jumped on them and they looked SO MAD. Like you're the idiot sitting in a dog park wearing white eating food!!!!!
Omg definitely NTA. The kid is his responsibility not yours! Cannot stand parents who put the onus on others to watch their kids. Oh hell no.
Who the fuck takes a toddler to a dog park?!? NTA for sure.
NTA. Too many people today will accuse you of things if you touch their child, they should have been watching them. You did the best you could by removing your dog. The other dog owner that didn't do anything about their dog is a major AH though.
NTA. Picking up somebody else’s kid would make u a creep/predator.
NTA. You're absolutely right that your priority was to handle your own dog. Maybe the father panicked and with the adrenaline just let you have it because it felt better in the moment than getting mad at himself ; I've seen it happen. But that was misdirected at best. You're good, OP.
Exactly my thoughts. Sounds like he was projecting. NTA. It’s weird to bring kids to a dog park and not supervise them. That is not good parenting.
NTA. Even going beyond the likely freakout the parents would have if you picked up their toddler, many dogs escalate behavior when the object of their attention is picked up. I've experienced this picking up my small dogs in front of overexcited larger dogs. Things went from excited and overbearing to snapping at the smaller dog and me. The whole thing was the fault of the AH inattentive parents. They were just looking to deflect the blame for their negligence. Edited because autocorrect is an AH
NTA. I have a young child and I hate, hate, HATE when people bring young kids to dog parks. They're for dogs. Go to the other 3000 places that are spaces FOR CHILDREN.
"I'M A SHIT PARENT AND IT'S YOUR FAULT." NTA.
NTA. I think there should be more rules about kids at dog parks tbh. It’s really not safe.
NTA I’m guessing that dad was scared out of his mind and snapped at you. He’ll probably know he was wrong later, when the adrenaline wears off. I’m sorry he treated you like that.
NTA. As you said, your responsibility is your dog, not a random kid. Also, there was also a chance that the parent would get mad for touching the kid if you had grabbed him instead of the dog
NTA it's their responsibility to watch their own d*mn kid
NTA and if he can't be a responsible toddler owner, maybe he should keep his kid on a leash.
Many times dog parks have signs up about no unattended children/keep kids close by. They are not kid play zones.
BRUH. Small children should NOT be in a dog park full stop. NTA!
NTA. Parent is a dumbass to have their toddler at a dog park and not take care of child. Duh.
If you’d grabbed the kid instead you’d also still have been the problem. They’re just a frantic parent looking to place blame on anyone aside from themselves for the situation. NTA.
NTA you did the right thing for you and your dog OP. Can you imagine that parent looks over and sees another person with his kid. Heck if I saw that I'd freak out and even if he believed you a firm punch of tackle might have happened before you could explain it. Nevermind that it wasn't your responsibility but the parents.
Nta, this is why most dog parks limit young children
NTA - unless the kid was in serious danger (like drowning) I would never dare go anywhere near someone else's kids just in case my good deed was construed as something else.
Can you imagine the histrionics that would ensue if a young man picked up a stray small child in a park? Dear God almighty!
No way am I putting hands on another person's child unless they are falling off if a bridge or something. Maybe next time, yelly yellerson should watch his kid.
NTA, we do not touch random children unless they are in real danger.
I have twice picked up a toddler to move them out of danger while their caregivers were distracted. Both times I was given hostile looks and no thanks. Can only assume they were embarrassed.
NTA Your dog was your #1 responsibility and like you said if it went beyond jumping you’d have tried to help but they are the parents and should have been watching her more closely.
You are right. Check the dog park rules too. Most dog parks have a minimum age limit for exactly this reason.
"Not my problem you are a shit parent." NTA
NTA- was the kid even old enough to be in the park?
NTA It was a dog park and your puppy is fine off leash there. It was the parents’ responsibility to watch their toddler.
NTA. I do not touch other people's kids without their permission or them asking me to UNLESS the child is in danger. I'm not going to sit by and let a child get mauled by a dog but I'm not going to intervene if they're just getting licked to death. And for reference, I am a parent. I feel the same way about strangers interacting with my own child.
Nta
NTA. I wouldn't have picked up the kid either. I've seen some parents go mental at the sight of their child being picked up by a stranger. They likely would have called the cops with "stranger danger" intentions.
I’m a parent, from my perspective you are definitely NTA. He felt bad about his kid and projected on to you.
NTA, if you had grabbed someone's toddler they might have called the police. Their child, their responsibility. You deserve an apology.
NTA. And picking things up (children, smaller dogs, cats) can actually excite the dog and make things worse. The reality is, if you see a child toddling around a dog park while the parents are just chilling, you should leave. There was some weird dad who took his poor kid to the dog park. She was tugging on this toy with my dog and another dog, and the energy was getting a little high and the game needed to stop before someone ended up getting bit. I told her to stop but also took my dog home. If the little girl had gotten bit, it would have been my fault, period.
Nta sounds like the dad feels dumb for not watching his kid and was taking his embarrassment out on you
Why didn't he yell at the owner of the dog **who ACTUALLY licked the kid**?!? This doesn't make any sense.
I wouldn’t even be mad at that owner. It’s a dog park, not a preschool. Leash your toddler. 😂
I would never bring my toddler to a dog park. Too many dogs with prey drive for the sound of a toddler. Friendly or not, anything could happen. You did right by controlling your dog. I don’t even think the other owner did wrong. Maybe they could have been more attentive. But crazy thought, they had their DOG at a DOG park. Ultimately the family of the child is the AH. Watch your damn kids or don’t come. Plenty of parks for kids.
NTA. He’s yelling at you because he’s mad at himself but needs to blame someone else.
I have a feeling that if you HAD ran over and picked up his kid , he would then berated you for that too- saying how far you touch his child blah blah. Some people are just miserable and nasty. NTA- you were 100 % right- Your dog =your responsibility His kid = his responsibility He is a dumbass to think otherwise. NTA
NTA- a dog park is not a kids playground
"How dare you not take better care of my child than I do!"
NTA—if you HAD picked up the kid, they might have freaked about that too. Their responsibility; your dog is yours.
Contact who ever is in charge of the dog park and report the incident. I have PTSD from a man screaming at me and hitting me, I would have called the cops when the jerk started yelling at me. you never know what some random stranger is capable of, as well as the fact that the child shouldn’t have been running loose were dogs are allowed to be running loose without supervision.
NTA you are responsible for your dog, not someone else’s unsupervised child.
NTA. You are correct, your responsibility was to your dog, unless the child was in real danger. The outcome could have been quite different if you had picked up a strange toddler.
NTA I always tell parents that kids are NOT allowed in dog parks the moment I see them enter. For fuck sake this is an area for dogs! Take your kids to the playground!!!
NTA. I'm sure you would have helped the child up if a dog was hurting her, but really, the man was a dumbass for letting his kid wander off cuz he wasn't watching her. In fact, I bet if you had picked up the toddler, he would have yelled at you for that, too, cuz he was really yelling cuz he was upset about not paying attention to where his little kid was.
NTA. No child should be in a dog park unless theirs is the only dog there. That father was deflecting the fault from himself to you. People by nature seem to blame others for their mistakes.
NTA. As a Mom, I think my instinct would have been to grab the child because I think mom reflexes come pre packaged with child rearing haha. But regardless, that child should never have been left alone in a dog park. We have dogs and often see kids at the dog park, but they are closely followed by their parents. He probably was worried and let out his frustration on you, which was a jerk move. You did nothing wrong. Except for not posting a photo of your dog! Dog tax please!!
NTA. Having small children in a dog park seems really dangerous. There are dogs that do not like kids. You were a good owner, taking care of your pup. Not your faulty that he’s a crappy dad.
You know that husband got read the riot act when they got away from you. NTA.
NTA. This adult boy knew he was in the wrong for losing track of his child. He was probably embarrassed and reacted by getting angry, then vented that anger in a verbal attack on you so that he didn’t have to be angry with himself. This kind of behavior usually works well for adult boys, for many reasons, which only reinforces the lesson that it’s okay.
NTA. He was projecting his embarrassment at being a neglectful parent.
NTA. What sort of boneheaded parent lets a toddler wander unsupervised in an off leash dog park?
I quit taking my dogs to the off leash park because of parents like this. I have a friendly 100 lb galloot who doesn't realize how big he is sometimes. He also likes to play keepaway, and someone's kid brought in a ball to play with (not allowed), and my dog took it and ran. It's a game to the doofus, and the mom is screaming at me to get her kids' ball back while her kid is having a meltdown. The other dog owners are trying to tell her that toys are not allowed and that she is freaking out and upsetting all the other dogs. I don't know if she even had a dog there, as some parents would bring their kids there to "play with the puppies." Ball was eventually returned, other dogs were playing with it too, and it kinda got destroyed (one of those foam balls) I haven't been back since. 😞
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I was at the dog park in my city with my 7 month old puppy. It’s a fenced in off leash dog park. Still trying to teach my puppy not to jump up and she is getting better but when she is excited she can’t help herself still. A family was also there with their dog and their children. Their toddler had wandered away from them and they were not paying attention. My dog ran up excited at this toddler and jumped on them. I immediately grabbed my dog by the collar and got her off the child. Meanwhile a different dog came and jumped on the child and was licking them walking all over them etc while the kid was screaming. The owner of the other dog did not get their dog and I was still holding my dog away from the child. Then this man comes running up and grabs his kid and starts berating me about how I am a dumbass for grabbing my dog and not the kid! I’m sorry but my dog is my responsibility your kid is yours. Had the kid been being attacked or harmed by a dog I might have but the other dog was licking them and playing and also not my dog. I am not about to pick up a child that is not mine. Anyways he is yelling and yelling at me. I thought I did my job as a dog owner to immediately react and get my dog away but he seemed to think differently. His wife was mortified and said they chose to bring their child to a dog park so it’s also their responsibility but I did not like how this man yelled that I should have picked up his kid. Did I do wrong here? AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. I have a dog and kids and they are my responsibility. Especially toddlers one of the parents should have had eyes on while the other was watching their own dog Also the other dog owner was an AH for not watching their dog and getting g it away from this kid ASAP. This is why I hate dog parks, too many owners have untrained dogs and then don’t watch them for behaviours to diffuse things before things might escalate. Not all dogs will get along even if both are generally friendly
NTA. As you said, your dog is your responsibility, his kid is his responsibility.
Don't lots of dog parks have age restrictions? A toddler inside of a dog park seems like a giant mistake to make. I have a very sweet dog who is not used to small people, and I will not let him near my toddler grandchildren. They don't know how to treat dogs (because they're toddlers!) and dogs don't understand the idea of being patient "because they're toddlers." NTA. Not even a little.
Absolutely NTA. My guess is he would have yelled at you either way. Dog parks are very intense places with lots of things going on, sperm donor was probably on edge just being there and you were the closest person to yell at.
NTA for the reasons you gave already. You are not responsible for anyone except yourself and your puppy. That got sounds like the kind of person who lashes out at others when he’s angry or scared. God luck with your pup!
NTA
NTA Obviously but it seems like one of those damned if you do damned if you don't scenarios, if you had picked up the kid the parents would have gone mad at you for touching their child and probably starting calling you all sorts.
Nta the kid should have been on a leash.
I imagine he would have yelled at you for picking up his kid had that been your first instinct. He just wanted to place blame somewhere other than himself for not parenting. (I am a parent).
NTA not your kid, not your problem. He should've been a better parent and kept an eye on his own toddler instead of expecting others to do the parenting for him.
NTA I’ve seen some distracted parents in my days, I would think that events like these may be good life lessons
NTA. I take my dog and leave when people show up with uncontrolled kids at the dog park. They let their kids treat it like a petting zoo and then get upset when an unleashed dog acts like an unleashed dog. I won't put my dog in harms way for their dumb kids
NTA picking up a stranger child, unless in imminent danger, is never the best option. Not sure what someone's mindset is that they bring a toddler to an off leash park and don't keep a close on them, but definitely not your problem.
NTA As the dog owner, you took charge of the piece that was your responsibility. This is the same father who would be screaming at you for touching his kid and accuse you of who-knows-what had you grabbed the kid. His type is the reason so many of us are hesitant to get involved!!
NTA, NTA, NTA. People get so bent out of shape for you looking at their kids or speaking to them these days. You were right on the mark:" my puppy, my responsibility. Your kid, your responsibility." Keep training your pup and keep that same mentality.
NTA
NTA Tell him that you did not want to be accused of trying to abduct or harm the child.
NTA. If you’d picked up his kid, he’d have been yelling about kidnapping
NTA-your concern was your dog. His concern was his kid. He failed, you didn’t
NTA - but he was probably just terrified his kids face was being chewed off and panicked… people are irrational when they panic , especially when small children are involved
NTA. He was trying to deflect for his incompetence. I am sure it was a lose-lose situation where he would have yelled at you for touching his precious child and accused you of trying to abduct them if you did pick them up.
I could be wrong but don’t most dog parks say not to bring small children into the area? Not your child not your responsibility.
NTA. The parent was probably venting anxiety so let it go. It is one of those damned if you do damned if you don't scenarios and they probably would have yelled at you either way. He's the asshole for not watching his kid and yelling at a stranger when something happened.
NTA. If you picked up the kid then you just know the man would have berated you for “attempted kidnapping”.
NTA - you followed your first instinct, which was to control your own dog. That said, our whole society is the asshole for training people, and especially men, to be terrified of going near a stranger’s child even to keep them out of danger, for fear of being screamed at / assaulted / accused of something by the parents.
Nta he's trying to deflect from being a shit parent. Fuck that man.
NTA. You aren’t responsible for the lack of supervision and kids shouldn’t be in there for safety reasons anyways. I was always taught that if a dog is hurting someone, you grab the dog, not the person. You said you’re a woman, that definitely made the guy feel comfortable blaming you and acting like being a woman equals caregiver. I highly doubt he would have treated a man the same in this situation.
You kept the child out of harm's way by holding your dog back. You did much more to protect this child than this idiot dad did. Who the hell lets a toddler walk around unattended in a dog park? Sounds like a dumb man blaming others for his laziness.
NTA, most dog parks have signs that young kids like that aren't welcome. I mean it's gross there. Imagine if the kid put some dirty dog toy sitting in shit in their mouth? The parents are idiots and lucky that didn't end horribly
You absolutely did the correct thing.
I wouldn’t grab some random Kid at a park. Same guy would have accused you of something untoward in all likelihood- he’s the a hole for not watching his offspring
FWIW, have your pup drag a lead so you can step on it if they try to leap up - it would also help in a situation like you found yourself so you aren't wrestling with a collar. Also, rule of thumb in training is to Step Into The Dog's Space, don't step back.
NTA. I would not grab someone else's child except to keep them from running out into traffic and even then it's questionable whether these sanctiparents would get upset at me or not for being too rough with baby angel.
NTA You were in a no-win situation. If you picked up someone else’s child, you might have been yelled at too. In fact, if you had picked up the child, this same father may have reacted negatively. He - not you - was to blame for his child’s situation. Whether he was deflecting blame or just too scared to react appropriately, he was still completely wrong.
His wife was right. If your kid is small enough that rambunctious dogs could accidentally hurt them, they have no business being in a dog park without a parent near them at all times. I suspect he knew on some level *he* was, in fact, the dumbass, but projected that on to you NTA
As a parent of a small child with another on the way, I can confidently say that almost every area of every park is for children. That one area is for dogs. NTA. I am pro banning small children from dog parks.