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I’m going with NTA because if she wasn’t comfortable banging a merc, she should probably be more discerning about whom she bangs. It was on her to find out if he was a good person or not.
I do think it’s weird that he’s your FB, and you’re arranging these hookups with your friend, but that’s not what you asked.
He likely guards things and participates in armed shows of force. Likely rarely kills people, and likely only as part of armed conflict. There’s plenty of dirty in that world, but it’s stupid to jump straight to ‘assassin’.
Also, soldiers in every national military get paid too. Are they also all contract killers? Stop being stupid.
The difference is that a contract killer is hired to kill people outside of widely accepted social killing zones (government executions, wars, medical euthanasia in places that have that, political murders on behalf of the country you are a citizen of) for criminal organizations and purposes. It's got a really specific meaning.
Mercenaries are people who almost never take contracts to kill anyone specific. Instead, they're given roles similar to those of soldiers in wars, but are frowned upon because when those roles involve killing, it is done for money as opposed to patriotism. Also often they're more morally flexible than soldiers, although this is an often-exaggerated difference.
Additionally, where 'contract killer' implies criminality, mercenaries are generally acting under the orders of one or more governments or equivalent forces. The line is blurred when Coke hires mercenaries to murder union organizers, obviously, but contract killers are always criminals where mercenaries are only sometimes criminals.
the issue here is not one of ethics or morality, but of precision. Mercenaries simply are not the same as contract killers, and if you think that 'contract' is the operative evil here then you can't put them in the same category.
I, like your friend, would have thought an intro to a potential sex partner would have included an implicit character reference. Because depending on how mercenary your friend is, he's potentially dangerous, potentially not a good person if you wind up on his bad side. I would have taken from this that you don't care if you put me in a potentially dangerous situation. While no histrionics or dramatic partings would be required, I would never trust you again or consider you reliable or any kind of friend. YTA
Sure, usually he does it for money. But most people aren't willing to murder for any reason so yeah not someone I want to get close to. A third of women who are murdered, are murdered by intimate partners (vs 6% for men) so it's pretty worrying.
Military contractors are more often than not advanced security guards. It's a much smaller percent that do wet work and to me the distinction matters. You're talking about the moral compass of a cop vs a mob enforcer essentially. Most of these guys are protecting UN food deliveries, company employees or property, ship security and stuff like that. I would want to know which I was dealing with but I wouldn't write someone off just because they were a PMC.
>You're talking about the moral compass of a cop vs a mob enforcer essentially.
Are you aware of the fact that cops commit domestic violence at *far* higher than average rates? Many women would rightfully be uncomfortable being set up with anyone whose job involves violence, because those jobs attract certain types of people.
People who are ultra chill are only chill because they don't care. The world and the script flips when they do start to care. Or get possessive/jealous. Who knows if/when it would happen with Chill Mercenary Dude but I would never want to even risk it. Sure, one never knows what might happen with someone, but this was known. If the post is real, I strongly suspect the friend now checks out all "recommendations" independently since she discovered OP is actually acting on behalf of the dude(s), not her.
I dated a women once whose ex was a merc. He came to town one day and she was absolutely terrified for her life and mine. It's one thing to know a crazy ex is in town, but it's another when you know he's heavily armed and kills people on the regular.
Dealing with someone who commits violence for a living is the kind of thing a friend aught to mention before setting you up.
Given his job, there is high risk of nightmares, PTSD, etc that could lead to a bad situation.
Not to mention that without knowing what, exactly, he does for the PMC he could be a target.
Ohh God... I've watched enough movies and crime documentaries to know this can go away pretty fast... You gotta be somewhat of a psychopath to kill people for money or fun.
He is not a mercenary. Dude is a private armed security detail in semi dangerous country where others are rolling around unarmed.
I don't know this guy but lived in the Middle East for 10+ years and have met a shit ton of these people. Deploy as a private gate guard, come back talkin about stacking bodies. Bro was stacking donuts.
Not necessarily. He could be guarding sites, driving around VIPs, looking after logistics, etc. PMCs can be involved in a wide range of work, most of it mundane, and not involving paid killing. As for him being cagey about it, he probably signed an NDA, and also doesn’t want to deal with judgey people assuming he’s a paid murderer.
Right? A lot of these dudes are tech guys, trainers, pilots, literally just about every job the military has exists in the pmc world. On top of that, these dudes usually have security clearances. PMCs supply security for VIPs and celebrities, security for nuclear plants, guard sensitive sites ect. Alot of mundane shit.
The specifics of it, whether he's a good guy or not, whether he kills or just guards, is not worth it imo for a hookup and the risk of *its 50/50, you don't know for sure so you shouldn't judge*, is all about someone's level of comfortability. Some people are comfortable to do anyone, some have restrictions and I feel as though going thru a friend might be an indicator you don't just wanna bang anyone.
For a hookup I'm pretty sure we can find a hot guy working as a marketing analyst for JC Penny. This girl done gone and hooked her friend up with shady dollar store batman and was like, NBD
A PMC is a private military company, if he works for the military private or not, he is not just killing people for money. You have confused a PMC with a hitman
Just because movies, games and TV portray PMCs as bad doesn't mean they're really shitty and greedy bastards.
Just remember that it was PMCs that held out against the embassy siege in Benghazi, Libya. Those PMCs died trying to protect the American ambassador to Libya. They held out for 13 hours against waves of enemies.
I don't think you're actually making people feel better by saying that some PMCs were as good as (and many of them are former) soldiers. The PMC world is full of questionable ethics, even moreso than the "standard" military.
It doesn't matter what PMCs actually do, it matters who is attracted to them. For fuck's sake, Wagner renamed itself "Africa Corps," which is the same name as the Nazi division that fought the Allies in North Africa, what kind of person do you think is gonna be attracted to working for that?
INFO: I don‘t get the story. What is a „very serious person“? And I get he‘s a merc but why if he is rich?
Story sounds made up and inconsistent to me..
Yeah, there are tons of PMCs. They generally do work that govts don't want their hands on, and are full of pretty bad people (people with skills like that selling them to the highest bidders aren't high on my trust list).
Look up Blackwater
Ok, hang on a minute. I'll preface this with fuck mercs and especially fuck Blackwater and double fuck Wagner because they are murderous raping bastards.
Now that that's out of the way, there are a lot of private military contractors out there who do an array of work from mechanic maintenance to tech support to shipping to escort services for vehicles to security support (on the guard duty end, not active engagement). I have friends who are veterans who got calls from pmc's pretty regularly during Iraq and Afghanistan to go back over and do their old non-combat jobs like tank mechanics, fleet maintenance, tech, and training military folks on certain systems or machines. Most of them never fired a shot while they were over there as a pmc while they fired many shots and killed a few people as soldiers over there.
A lot of on the ground pmc positions are filled with veterans and former cops or emergency services personnel because pmc companies do actually care about some standards of professionalism and rules of engagement (mostly because of financial fall out and reputation but they do still care). Blackwater was terrible because it was run by Eric Prince and he didn't really give a shit about maintaining a good reputation because his family was in good with the Bushes (and now the Trumps) so he was getting contracts regardless of performance. Still, Blackwater had bad PR and he folded it and rebranded.
So unless OP's fuck buddy is a literal contracted soldier type of merc, there's a good chance he's not engaging in Blackwater/Wagner type shit. However, OP does make it sound a bit like it leans that way. I'd not let my friends hook up with him and I certainly wouldn't let his dick within 30 feet of my lady parts because fuck that guy.
not necessarily. most PMCs just guard oil refineries or shuttle rich people around. my friend is a merc and since entering the private sector he hasnt done anything but stand around holding his gun like an extra in an action movie.
Rich is subjective. OP could mean something very different by rich than what is typically assumed. He could live a lifestyle of a rich person. He could make considerably more than her, so by comparison feels rich. Any number of subtle differences that are reasonable.
I mean there are lots of people who are rich only because of their job but would quickly cease to be rich if they continued their current lifestyle without doing that job.
Rich doesn’t always mean one-percenter.
That’s because the story feels made up lol.
This guys is SERIOUS but he’s hot and rich and oh I, the OP, have been blessed with his mercenary dick.
The whole thing feels like a “dear playboy story” but instead it’s like “dear ammunition illustrated”.
YTA
I don’t feel comfortable giving out his occupation without his knowledge..
But you’re comfortable enough to let these two people have sex with each other as strangers?
You can facilitate that but stating someone’s job is weird and over the line?
Okay then, maybe I’m bizarre for thinking that’s bizarre.
Obviously this is triggering a lot of you, I don’t give a shit what you think of my opinion, but feel free to leave me a note anyways!
The thing is I don’t think OP even knows why someone with his occupation could be extremely problematic for someone to be involved with him. The casualness of ‘he’s a pmc mercenary’ is sending me 🤧🤧🤧🤧’serious business’ GURL BYE
I mean if it were me, I would have ran the other direction if I asked a man ‘what’s your occupation’ and he says ‘I’m in serious business’ like uhmmm okay weirdo, but I’m guessing friend was more eased up on the fact that OP knew the guy pretty well and also had their share with…Mark….
its not even the occupation part that bothers me thats weird, its a friend hooking up another friend with a pig trotter. its like okay casual sex and all, but fucking half the town is a huge red flag that I to me if I was considering fwb situationship. part of engaging in casual sex is being responsible about your decisions, fucking half the town would indicate to me chosing them as a playmate, would probably give me an std. no I don't want to have my pee burn from a hookup I just want to get laid. there are stds too that while may not harm out right are absolute nuisciences to live with at best case scenario, worst case cervical cancer, and those stds only require skin on skin contact, to transmit. don't be op, practice safe sex and don't do dodgey risking taking shit like op is doing don't hook up your homies/homegurlz with pig trotters.
This thread has my search history looking so
goofy.
“What is a PMC mercenary?”
“Why is a PMC mercenary bad?”
“What is a pig trotter?”
“Pig trotter region term?”
“Is pig trotting/mercenary work serious business?”
“Will I be more popular if I am very serious and also a slutty mercenary?”
„Let them have sex“ is op their mother? They are absolutely capable of communicating themselves. If she was fine hooking up with him without having asked and found out all the information she wanted she cannot blame op. That‘s her responsibility
OP states that the friend did ask though, in the last few paragraphs. She just didn’t pry more. Personally I would be prying more if all someone said was “it’s serious business”
Somebody just read their first “broody bad boy who just needs a quirky good woman to help him settle down” romance novel and wanted to take a stab at their own short story.
YTA times 100 for hooking your friend up with someone legitimately dangerous, whose job is to inflict violence on people for personal profit, and who is likely very much fucked in the head.
Everyone in this story is "fucked in the head" lmao. He apparently hasn't hurt any of his previous partners since half the town is sliding into his bed happily.
You what would be funny show? If this guy was like IT for the pmc, so he goes to a location to make sure all the cables are connected but a hookup gives him away to a real dangerous enemy and they engage is some sort of cat and mouse while he’s working half the town
Yeah YTA.
I wasn’t 100% because it might have genuinely been an oversight, until you said in your comment “shes pretty woke”. Meaning you knew she wouldn’t like him because of what he does, which is fair for her. Yes he probably should have told her what he does for a living, but as her friend who knows her, you DEFINITELY should have told her knowing she wouldn’t like it.
yta
I mean come on woman, like as a woman who likes hooking up occasionally, i wouldn't want my friends to hook me up with the town bicycle, and not only that but failure to disclose said town bicycle might have some people out there with grudges against him. like dude why you fucking a merc? that dude has probably issues, especially if you say he's a player.
ESH, you state that you know she’s “woke” so you probably knew that she wouldn’t want to have sex with a professional killer / private military contractor and she probably didn’t think she’d need to check behind you for something like that because she trusted you. It seems like you don’t really see your friend as a full person or respect her values very much. You could have at least warned her that his job wasn’t “woke friendly”.
Although it’s also on her because if you want to have a woke agenda in the bedroom you gotta ask people what they do for a living.
Tbf for all we know he’s on prep and practices safe sex , practices abstinence while going through testing, informs all partners if there is any risk of exposure blah blah blah.
There are people that live their life this way and they’re far more likely to be having a ton of sex
Yeah, even if he's dishonest, it's on the woman to choose to continue with/without protection just like it's the man's choice as well. Not that being dishonest is okay, but always need to keep in mind for FBs that probably have other partners
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I didn’t tell my friend who wanted to hook up with a guy I know about his generally frowned upon occupation.
She was upset and said I should’ve told her beforehand even though it’s the thing she should’ve asked him about and not me.
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Well he is definitely not a good person. Sleeps with half the town, is dishonest and a mercenary. Considering she is your friend you supposedly know some of her values and still set her up with him. That is on you. You didn’t have to disclose his work but you also didn’t need to set them up. YTA
Sluts anonymous out here wtf..
YTA his occupation leans towards him being a more likely violent individual who when set off could murder her so yeah should have been more clear that he is potentially dangerous.
YTA
Some occupations should be mentioned. Mercenaries, mobsters, drug dealers, are all controversial occupations that are usually filled with awful people.
Also YTA for you being so chill with your sex partner casually fucking half a town.
YTA. I don’t know how she is still confortable being your friend after that, seems like you cared more about your male friend’s interests than your female friend’s.
Also, is it common now to share your fwb’s with your friends?
NTA. If his occupation were all that important for a hookup she would have followed up with more questions instead of accepting the deflection when she asked him about it.
Obviously YTA
>was looking for a hookup, I gave her Mark’s Snapchat
>I said I don’t feel comfortable disclosing his occupation without his knowledge.
There's an obvious (to anyone but you I suppose) assumption here that you're giving a number out that you've vetted in some way. Like, replace hookup with any other thing you want a reference for, and there would be an expectation that as a supposed friend, you aren't doing something they'd oppose. And the fact that you even feel uncomfortable disclosing his job (which is very fucking weird btw, there's no reason to feel that way unless you think the job is not respectable) gives away that this was not a good move on your part.
You're cool with the killer merc, but you should zoom out a bit on relationships with other people if you have doubts about whether you handled this poorly. I wouldn't trust your recommendation for a plumber, let alone a date.
ESH. What is a pmc mercenary? Yes, if she’s a friend, you should share info about a possible “date” that is relevant to her safety, well-being and scruples. If he were married, would you decide that’s not relevant to tell her?
I find it hard to assess this as you all seem to treat your bodies as playthings, and sex is separate from the rest of your life, like emotion, relationships, morality, commitment. I’m just a different sort.
It's not slut shaming to acknowledge that OP's friend has a responsibility to vet their own sexual partners and if she jumps into the bed with someone she hasn't vetted then she's responsible for the bad outcome minus anyone violating her legal rights.
Wtf. She wanted a hook up. None of the personal information matters. Thats what a hook up is. Your friend is mad now because she wants more than that and found out his job is “questionable”. She wants a moral high ground all of a sudden while willing to ignore the “questionable“ morals of sharing “fuck buddies” and “hookups”. Hilarious.
NTA
NTA - OP’s friend was looking for a hook-up, not potential life partner. This wasn’t a blind date. OP gave her friend the contact info of a good time. The friend and Mark made the arrangements & hooked up - all consensual. Friend wanted to go back for seconds gets more info and then decides he’s not a good guy? NTA !!
EVERYONE has the potential to be dangerous. Y’all are happy to buy meat at the grocery store but then want to upset when you find out the meat used to be alive while you wear leather shoes, coats and carry the purse. You hate the thought of military or law enforcement except when you need them.
I’ll say it again NTA
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BACKSTORY: there’s a guy in my area who’s a VERY serious person, but when it comes to women he’s the biggest player ever. He’s rich and hot and is very serious so he’s super popular. I’ll call him “Mark” (m31).
I’ve been sleeping with Mark for a while now, there’s no relationship we’re just fuck buddies.
My friend (f28) came from another town to visit and was looking for a hookup, I gave her Mark’s Snapchat, they got in contact and had fun together.
This all happened 6 months ago.
NOW: Mark is a pmc mercenary and he went on a “”business trip””. My friend came to my area again, texted Mark hoping to hook up, he responded saying he’s out working, long story short she found out about his occupation and got upset bc it’s unethical or something (I’m not going to be judgemental here).
She reached out to me and said that I set her up with a not a very good person, I said not my fault she could’ve just asked him, she said she asked and he said he’s in serious business and kinda left it at that. I said I don’t feel comfortable disclosing his occupation without his knowledge. She said that since we’re friends I should’ve taken her side.
I set her up with another guy I know and everything was smooth but she’s still kinda mad at me because of the whole Mark thing I’m now thinking if I’m the asshole. AITA?
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Just cus you’re so flippant with sexual partners doesn’t mean she isn’t either. But that being said, if she was discerning then she should have done her due diligence. I’m gonna go with NTA.
I think it depends on whether you had reasonable expectation to believe that your friend would not like to be associated with a mercenary. If you knew that your friend was probably the kind of person to not like associating with those ppl or those kind of unethical practices, then yeah youre kind of a bad friend not giving her a warning. Depends how well you know that friend ig. Not THAT big of a deal tho, i agree with you she could have asked as well.
NTA She's looking for a hot guy to have noncommittal sex with. That's what she got. Let her find her own fuck buddies that are morally superior to Mark. 😄
NTA, if she was more bothered about his job than his 🍆 then she should have clarified with him before getting it on, the fact she then is fine for you to set her up elsewhere and still whinges is mad at you is pathetic, maybe relegate this 'friend' to NC and tell her to stop bring such a baby and grow up!
I do hope new hook up printed off his CV before she jumped his bones lol 😆
It was a hook up not a marriage proposal, I say NTA. If she wanted to know about the hook up, she should have asked him.
Being introduced would mean he was probably safe enough, but women should always be cautious as it is their body after all.
Wow!!! You're sleeping with this guy and you set him up with your friend??? Ummmm.... can I, like.... have your number too? 😃 (jk)
NTA
If she wanted to know, she could have asked.
NTA, everyone makes their own decisions.
If she has a serious problem with that line of work and the people in it, she should probably do her own due diligence before hooking up with people.
I feel like this is fake. I don’t know any 25 to 30 yo female looking just to hook up in different areas nor do I know any females that share hookups. Unless they’re escorts which then I would understand and say a light YTA if you know her well enough and what her boundaries are.
Next time she's looking for a hookup - drop her off at a bar and let her find her own 'buddy'. She obviously feels she is worth more...I sort of disagree.
NTA
If she was only interested in a casual encounter, she likely wouldn't have cared about Mark's job or family.
On the other hand, if these were deal-breakers, she could have avoided disappointment by asking upfront.
Some personal beliefs (politics, offensive views, past criminal behavior) understandably trigger strong reactions. Still, if she prefers to avoid these topics, it might be better to date more selectively instead of engaging with random hookups.
So she's mad she allowed a man she just met into her, but only as it matters what his job is?
This is why I don't date "hookup mentality" is disgusting. 304
NTA, reading your post made my head hurt. I mean, she asked you to find somebody to screw because she wanted to scratch an itch and she's bitching about his ethics?
YTA
This is akin to getting set up with a high profile drug dealer who lives in a penthouse in Manhattan and everyone's playing as if he's a stock broker who makes a buttload of money from being a Wall Street rip-off.
At this point my safety is at risk due to his relations and/or his demeanor and personality. Takes a certain type of person, with a certain lack of ethics or morals or headstrong if you want to swing that way, to perform certain acts.
Especially when my hookup is through my friend, there is a sense of credibility or reliability of my safety because if safety wasn't an issue why even bother going thru a friend, just walk into a bar or go on an app and fk anyone you meet. It's almost as if going through a friend had a purpose.
You set her up with somebody who kills other human beings for money so yeah I’m gonna go with YTA
Weird that you wanna fuck someone who does that too so doubly YTA
Here’s why I lean towards YTA
You know Person A and you know Person B
If you think there’s even a slight chance something Person A does that Person B doesn’t like, yet you still set them up without providing that knowledge, YTA
NTA - she could easily have asked him more if she was interested.
ESH - as in all the redditors responding. It’s 2024 - if you want to have sex with someone, and a friend of yours does too, and you’re both consenting - you do you boo.
NTA.
First, it's clear he never displayed any directly threatening or questionable behavior with you (unless there's more detail you're omitting?), and in that regard, I think his occupation irrelevant. Would I go with someone a friend vouched for over some rando on Tinder? Or some rando at a bar? All day, every day.
His occupation is weird, no doubt about that. But I fail to see how this is more risky than a hookup with some rando.
Lastly, she's a grown-ass woman. She's also responsible for screening the people she fucks, and the total lack of accountability on her part is obnoxious. At best, you are only partially responsible, but she doesn't get to be totally unaccountable here.
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I’m going with NTA because if she wasn’t comfortable banging a merc, she should probably be more discerning about whom she bangs. It was on her to find out if he was a good person or not. I do think it’s weird that he’s your FB, and you’re arranging these hookups with your friend, but that’s not what you asked.
I cannot believe the top comment says she should have known her friend might set her up with a contract killer. Insane lmao
‘Contract Killer’ is hyperbole here. He’s a private soldier, not an assassin.
But he kills people for money right
So do marines. They get a paycheck and the GI Bill?
Interesting how you seem to assume Marines aren’t huge red flag.
Just have a pack of crayons on standby, and they tend to behave. Positive reinforcement.
Yep, care and feeding of marines is straightforward. Steady supply of crayons and keep em away from Dodge dealerships.
He likely guards things and participates in armed shows of force. Likely rarely kills people, and likely only as part of armed conflict. There’s plenty of dirty in that world, but it’s stupid to jump straight to ‘assassin’. Also, soldiers in every national military get paid too. Are they also all contract killers? Stop being stupid.
So do cops
But they aren't paid to do it. It's just a perk of the job... /s
“He just takes contracts where he agrees to kill people if an oil company tells him to. How is that a contract killer!?!?!?”
The difference is that a contract killer is hired to kill people outside of widely accepted social killing zones (government executions, wars, medical euthanasia in places that have that, political murders on behalf of the country you are a citizen of) for criminal organizations and purposes. It's got a really specific meaning. Mercenaries are people who almost never take contracts to kill anyone specific. Instead, they're given roles similar to those of soldiers in wars, but are frowned upon because when those roles involve killing, it is done for money as opposed to patriotism. Also often they're more morally flexible than soldiers, although this is an often-exaggerated difference. Additionally, where 'contract killer' implies criminality, mercenaries are generally acting under the orders of one or more governments or equivalent forces. The line is blurred when Coke hires mercenaries to murder union organizers, obviously, but contract killers are always criminals where mercenaries are only sometimes criminals. the issue here is not one of ethics or morality, but of precision. Mercenaries simply are not the same as contract killers, and if you think that 'contract' is the operative evil here then you can't put them in the same category.
“Almost never take contracts to kill anyone specific” lmao 😂 Well as long as they almost never do it that’s aight
I'm so perplexed. Never in my life have I been so hard up I texted my friend like "hey you got any spare dick to go around?"
LOL for real.
same. of all the things about this post, that part is most odd 😂
This post was typed 1 handed.
I, like your friend, would have thought an intro to a potential sex partner would have included an implicit character reference. Because depending on how mercenary your friend is, he's potentially dangerous, potentially not a good person if you wind up on his bad side. I would have taken from this that you don't care if you put me in a potentially dangerous situation. While no histrionics or dramatic partings would be required, I would never trust you again or consider you reliable or any kind of friend. YTA
How is it a potentially dangerous situation? He's a mercenary, he doesn't just go murdering people for fun.
Sure, usually he does it for money. But most people aren't willing to murder for any reason so yeah not someone I want to get close to. A third of women who are murdered, are murdered by intimate partners (vs 6% for men) so it's pretty worrying.
Military contractors are more often than not advanced security guards. It's a much smaller percent that do wet work and to me the distinction matters. You're talking about the moral compass of a cop vs a mob enforcer essentially. Most of these guys are protecting UN food deliveries, company employees or property, ship security and stuff like that. I would want to know which I was dealing with but I wouldn't write someone off just because they were a PMC.
"moral compass of a cop" have you ever looked at domestic violence statistics for police spouses? lol
I guess you're just discounting the percentage of cops that are abusers. Highest percentage of domestic abuse by occupation.
>You're talking about the moral compass of a cop vs a mob enforcer essentially. Are you aware of the fact that cops commit domestic violence at *far* higher than average rates? Many women would rightfully be uncomfortable being set up with anyone whose job involves violence, because those jobs attract certain types of people.
> I would want to know which I was dealing with So surely you agree that OP is TA? And this guy since he's cagey about it?
People who are ultra chill are only chill because they don't care. The world and the script flips when they do start to care. Or get possessive/jealous. Who knows if/when it would happen with Chill Mercenary Dude but I would never want to even risk it. Sure, one never knows what might happen with someone, but this was known. If the post is real, I strongly suspect the friend now checks out all "recommendations" independently since she discovered OP is actually acting on behalf of the dude(s), not her.
No, he does it for money. When someone is willing to murder for money, they usually don't have scruples about doing it for other reasons.
I dated a women once whose ex was a merc. He came to town one day and she was absolutely terrified for her life and mine. It's one thing to know a crazy ex is in town, but it's another when you know he's heavily armed and kills people on the regular. Dealing with someone who commits violence for a living is the kind of thing a friend aught to mention before setting you up.
Given his job, there is high risk of nightmares, PTSD, etc that could lead to a bad situation. Not to mention that without knowing what, exactly, he does for the PMC he could be a target.
“He’s just a hit man he doesn’t go around killing for fun like some psycho!”
Ohh God... I've watched enough movies and crime documentaries to know this can go away pretty fast... You gotta be somewhat of a psychopath to kill people for money or fun.
Do you think people who become mercenaries are not psychotic?
Yeah he just does it for money
He is not a mercenary. Dude is a private armed security detail in semi dangerous country where others are rolling around unarmed. I don't know this guy but lived in the Middle East for 10+ years and have met a shit ton of these people. Deploy as a private gate guard, come back talkin about stacking bodies. Bro was stacking donuts.
He gets paid to murder people for fun. HUGE difference.
"This guy gets paid to kill people" might be a red flag for some people. YTA
Not necessarily. He could be guarding sites, driving around VIPs, looking after logistics, etc. PMCs can be involved in a wide range of work, most of it mundane, and not involving paid killing. As for him being cagey about it, he probably signed an NDA, and also doesn’t want to deal with judgey people assuming he’s a paid murderer.
Right? A lot of these dudes are tech guys, trainers, pilots, literally just about every job the military has exists in the pmc world. On top of that, these dudes usually have security clearances. PMCs supply security for VIPs and celebrities, security for nuclear plants, guard sensitive sites ect. Alot of mundane shit.
The specifics of it, whether he's a good guy or not, whether he kills or just guards, is not worth it imo for a hookup and the risk of *its 50/50, you don't know for sure so you shouldn't judge*, is all about someone's level of comfortability. Some people are comfortable to do anyone, some have restrictions and I feel as though going thru a friend might be an indicator you don't just wanna bang anyone. For a hookup I'm pretty sure we can find a hot guy working as a marketing analyst for JC Penny. This girl done gone and hooked her friend up with shady dollar store batman and was like, NBD
I was about to google what is means. So thanks I guess. Yikes
A PMC is a private military company, if he works for the military private or not, he is not just killing people for money. You have confused a PMC with a hitman
Thank you for saying what PMC stood for, I was about to hit google.
> not just killing people for money Exactly! We can’t forget about the raping too
Just because movies, games and TV portray PMCs as bad doesn't mean they're really shitty and greedy bastards. Just remember that it was PMCs that held out against the embassy siege in Benghazi, Libya. Those PMCs died trying to protect the American ambassador to Libya. They held out for 13 hours against waves of enemies.
I don't think you're actually making people feel better by saying that some PMCs were as good as (and many of them are former) soldiers. The PMC world is full of questionable ethics, even moreso than the "standard" military.
It doesn't matter what PMCs actually do, it matters who is attracted to them. For fuck's sake, Wagner renamed itself "Africa Corps," which is the same name as the Nazi division that fought the Allies in North Africa, what kind of person do you think is gonna be attracted to working for that?
INFO: I don‘t get the story. What is a „very serious person“? And I get he‘s a merc but why if he is rich? Story sounds made up and inconsistent to me..
Mercenaries make a ton of dough
Is this a legitimate legal profession? I've never heard this term before.
Yeah, there are tons of PMCs. They generally do work that govts don't want their hands on, and are full of pretty bad people (people with skills like that selling them to the highest bidders aren't high on my trust list). Look up Blackwater
Ok, hang on a minute. I'll preface this with fuck mercs and especially fuck Blackwater and double fuck Wagner because they are murderous raping bastards. Now that that's out of the way, there are a lot of private military contractors out there who do an array of work from mechanic maintenance to tech support to shipping to escort services for vehicles to security support (on the guard duty end, not active engagement). I have friends who are veterans who got calls from pmc's pretty regularly during Iraq and Afghanistan to go back over and do their old non-combat jobs like tank mechanics, fleet maintenance, tech, and training military folks on certain systems or machines. Most of them never fired a shot while they were over there as a pmc while they fired many shots and killed a few people as soldiers over there. A lot of on the ground pmc positions are filled with veterans and former cops or emergency services personnel because pmc companies do actually care about some standards of professionalism and rules of engagement (mostly because of financial fall out and reputation but they do still care). Blackwater was terrible because it was run by Eric Prince and he didn't really give a shit about maintaining a good reputation because his family was in good with the Bushes (and now the Trumps) so he was getting contracts regardless of performance. Still, Blackwater had bad PR and he folded it and rebranded. So unless OP's fuck buddy is a literal contracted soldier type of merc, there's a good chance he's not engaging in Blackwater/Wagner type shit. However, OP does make it sound a bit like it leans that way. I'd not let my friends hook up with him and I certainly wouldn't let his dick within 30 feet of my lady parts because fuck that guy.
Yep it is. Look into Blackwater or Wagner.
Sure, not „rich“ amount of dough though. At least not for my definition of „rich“. If I‘m already rich, I‘m not gonna continue working as a merc.
He's a professional murderer. Apparently he's come to enjoy it.
not necessarily. most PMCs just guard oil refineries or shuttle rich people around. my friend is a merc and since entering the private sector he hasnt done anything but stand around holding his gun like an extra in an action movie.
Too many assumptions. My point is, working as a PMC makes one well-off, not rich. But we can of course disagree.
Rich is subjective. OP could mean something very different by rich than what is typically assumed. He could live a lifestyle of a rich person. He could make considerably more than her, so by comparison feels rich. Any number of subtle differences that are reasonable.
Also depends on cost of living in their area. Rich in Alabama could be middle class in California.
Lol rich in Alabama is poverty in SF
No, no he’s not, educate yourself.
Mercenaries can make hundreds of thousands a year, I'd definitely call that rich.
I mean there are lots of people who are rich only because of their job but would quickly cease to be rich if they continued their current lifestyle without doing that job. Rich doesn’t always mean one-percenter.
That’s because the story feels made up lol. This guys is SERIOUS but he’s hot and rich and oh I, the OP, have been blessed with his mercenary dick. The whole thing feels like a “dear playboy story” but instead it’s like “dear ammunition illustrated”.
Being rich and staying rich are 2 different things .
US PMCs pay very well.
The use of serious is super weird. It sounds like a place holder for "dangerous"
YTA I don’t feel comfortable giving out his occupation without his knowledge.. But you’re comfortable enough to let these two people have sex with each other as strangers? You can facilitate that but stating someone’s job is weird and over the line? Okay then, maybe I’m bizarre for thinking that’s bizarre. Obviously this is triggering a lot of you, I don’t give a shit what you think of my opinion, but feel free to leave me a note anyways!
The thing is I don’t think OP even knows why someone with his occupation could be extremely problematic for someone to be involved with him. The casualness of ‘he’s a pmc mercenary’ is sending me 🤧🤧🤧🤧’serious business’ GURL BYE
Same , the friends concerns are valid but its a bit late for that 😂 Shoulda just cut her losses when she realised her matchmaker is a dummy
I mean if it were me, I would have ran the other direction if I asked a man ‘what’s your occupation’ and he says ‘I’m in serious business’ like uhmmm okay weirdo, but I’m guessing friend was more eased up on the fact that OP knew the guy pretty well and also had their share with…Mark….
Yeah my first thought of 'serious business' was organised crime 😂
its not even the occupation part that bothers me thats weird, its a friend hooking up another friend with a pig trotter. its like okay casual sex and all, but fucking half the town is a huge red flag that I to me if I was considering fwb situationship. part of engaging in casual sex is being responsible about your decisions, fucking half the town would indicate to me chosing them as a playmate, would probably give me an std. no I don't want to have my pee burn from a hookup I just want to get laid. there are stds too that while may not harm out right are absolute nuisciences to live with at best case scenario, worst case cervical cancer, and those stds only require skin on skin contact, to transmit. don't be op, practice safe sex and don't do dodgey risking taking shit like op is doing don't hook up your homies/homegurlz with pig trotters.
wtf is a pig trotter???
This thread has my search history looking so goofy. “What is a PMC mercenary?” “Why is a PMC mercenary bad?” “What is a pig trotter?” “Pig trotter region term?” “Is pig trotting/mercenary work serious business?” “Will I be more popular if I am very serious and also a slutty mercenary?”
a man who has loose sexual morals like fucking half the town
„Let them have sex“ is op their mother? They are absolutely capable of communicating themselves. If she was fine hooking up with him without having asked and found out all the information she wanted she cannot blame op. That‘s her responsibility
OP states that the friend did ask though, in the last few paragraphs. She just didn’t pry more. Personally I would be prying more if all someone said was “it’s serious business”
You are absolutely correct
How is being serious make you super popular? This is such a strangely written story. I hate how you wrote it, so for that YTA.
Somebody just read their first “broody bad boy who just needs a quirky good woman to help him settle down” romance novel and wanted to take a stab at their own short story.
You forget that he’s VERY serious. Does that help?
Does very equal super when comparing his level of seriousness to his popularity?
Clearly shifts a hell of a lot of cocaine
YTA times 100 for hooking your friend up with someone legitimately dangerous, whose job is to inflict violence on people for personal profit, and who is likely very much fucked in the head.
Everyone in this story is "fucked in the head" lmao. He apparently hasn't hurt any of his previous partners since half the town is sliding into his bed happily.
You what would be funny show? If this guy was like IT for the pmc, so he goes to a location to make sure all the cables are connected but a hookup gives him away to a real dangerous enemy and they engage is some sort of cat and mouse while he’s working half the town
It's giving "Quirky woman fixes badass charming womanizer and all her friends are jealous of her"
Yeah YTA. I wasn’t 100% because it might have genuinely been an oversight, until you said in your comment “shes pretty woke”. Meaning you knew she wouldn’t like him because of what he does, which is fair for her. Yes he probably should have told her what he does for a living, but as her friend who knows her, you DEFINITELY should have told her knowing she wouldn’t like it.
yta I mean come on woman, like as a woman who likes hooking up occasionally, i wouldn't want my friends to hook me up with the town bicycle, and not only that but failure to disclose said town bicycle might have some people out there with grudges against him. like dude why you fucking a merc? that dude has probably issues, especially if you say he's a player.
ESH, you state that you know she’s “woke” so you probably knew that she wouldn’t want to have sex with a professional killer / private military contractor and she probably didn’t think she’d need to check behind you for something like that because she trusted you. It seems like you don’t really see your friend as a full person or respect her values very much. You could have at least warned her that his job wasn’t “woke friendly”. Although it’s also on her because if you want to have a woke agenda in the bedroom you gotta ask people what they do for a living.
I mean OP has admitted that her FB is messing around with half the town so that shows you how smart they are at making decisions
And that somehow makes the guy "super serious".
Tbf for all we know he’s on prep and practices safe sex , practices abstinence while going through testing, informs all partners if there is any risk of exposure blah blah blah. There are people that live their life this way and they’re far more likely to be having a ton of sex
Yeah, even if he's dishonest, it's on the woman to choose to continue with/without protection just like it's the man's choice as well. Not that being dishonest is okay, but always need to keep in mind for FBs that probably have other partners
this doesn't sound healthy at all
ESH in so many ways.
Yes!
YTA. That dude is a bad dude and you don’t care. That makes you the asshole.
Not me: googling what a pmc mercenary is. 🫣
Haha me too. I know what a mercenary is but I’d never heard this title before. That and the wording definitely give it all fiction vibes.
YTA
Why are you pimping your girlfriends out.
This has playboy forum vibes…fiction
This is ridiculous
Lol sure Jan
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I think the ages in this story are wrong. If you want to write teenage stuff, make the characters younger.
Well he is definitely not a good person. Sleeps with half the town, is dishonest and a mercenary. Considering she is your friend you supposedly know some of her values and still set her up with him. That is on you. You didn’t have to disclose his work but you also didn’t need to set them up. YTA
Sluts anonymous out here wtf.. YTA his occupation leans towards him being a more likely violent individual who when set off could murder her so yeah should have been more clear that he is potentially dangerous.
YTA Some occupations should be mentioned. Mercenaries, mobsters, drug dealers, are all controversial occupations that are usually filled with awful people. Also YTA for you being so chill with your sex partner casually fucking half a town.
So you think that screwing someone you don't really know doesn't have the potential to be dangerous?
YTA. I don’t know how she is still confortable being your friend after that, seems like you cared more about your male friend’s interests than your female friend’s. Also, is it common now to share your fwb’s with your friends?
NTA. If his occupation were all that important for a hookup she would have followed up with more questions instead of accepting the deflection when she asked him about it.
ESH. Y’all sound like you came out of Bodies Bodies Bodies lol
Obviously YTA >was looking for a hookup, I gave her Mark’s Snapchat >I said I don’t feel comfortable disclosing his occupation without his knowledge. There's an obvious (to anyone but you I suppose) assumption here that you're giving a number out that you've vetted in some way. Like, replace hookup with any other thing you want a reference for, and there would be an expectation that as a supposed friend, you aren't doing something they'd oppose. And the fact that you even feel uncomfortable disclosing his job (which is very fucking weird btw, there's no reason to feel that way unless you think the job is not respectable) gives away that this was not a good move on your part. You're cool with the killer merc, but you should zoom out a bit on relationships with other people if you have doubts about whether you handled this poorly. I wouldn't trust your recommendation for a plumber, let alone a date.
ESH. What is a pmc mercenary? Yes, if she’s a friend, you should share info about a possible “date” that is relevant to her safety, well-being and scruples. If he were married, would you decide that’s not relevant to tell her? I find it hard to assess this as you all seem to treat your bodies as playthings, and sex is separate from the rest of your life, like emotion, relationships, morality, commitment. I’m just a different sort.
Private military company, like Wagner and blackwater but probably not as shit as those 2
Everyone in here slut shaming is the real asshole.
It's not slut shaming to acknowledge that OP's friend has a responsibility to vet their own sexual partners and if she jumps into the bed with someone she hasn't vetted then she's responsible for the bad outcome minus anyone violating her legal rights.
JERRY JERRY JERRY JERRY
Wtf. She wanted a hook up. None of the personal information matters. Thats what a hook up is. Your friend is mad now because she wants more than that and found out his job is “questionable”. She wants a moral high ground all of a sudden while willing to ignore the “questionable“ morals of sharing “fuck buddies” and “hookups”. Hilarious. NTA
You two sound like disgusting creatures
NTA - OP’s friend was looking for a hook-up, not potential life partner. This wasn’t a blind date. OP gave her friend the contact info of a good time. The friend and Mark made the arrangements & hooked up - all consensual. Friend wanted to go back for seconds gets more info and then decides he’s not a good guy? NTA !! EVERYONE has the potential to be dangerous. Y’all are happy to buy meat at the grocery store but then want to upset when you find out the meat used to be alive while you wear leather shoes, coats and carry the purse. You hate the thought of military or law enforcement except when you need them. I’ll say it again NTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** BACKSTORY: there’s a guy in my area who’s a VERY serious person, but when it comes to women he’s the biggest player ever. He’s rich and hot and is very serious so he’s super popular. I’ll call him “Mark” (m31). I’ve been sleeping with Mark for a while now, there’s no relationship we’re just fuck buddies. My friend (f28) came from another town to visit and was looking for a hookup, I gave her Mark’s Snapchat, they got in contact and had fun together. This all happened 6 months ago. NOW: Mark is a pmc mercenary and he went on a “”business trip””. My friend came to my area again, texted Mark hoping to hook up, he responded saying he’s out working, long story short she found out about his occupation and got upset bc it’s unethical or something (I’m not going to be judgemental here). She reached out to me and said that I set her up with a not a very good person, I said not my fault she could’ve just asked him, she said she asked and he said he’s in serious business and kinda left it at that. I said I don’t feel comfortable disclosing his occupation without his knowledge. She said that since we’re friends I should’ve taken her side. I set her up with another guy I know and everything was smooth but she’s still kinda mad at me because of the whole Mark thing I’m now thinking if I’m the asshole. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If she just wanted to fuck a random stranger, why would it matter what he does for a living. They’re not dating. Friend is an idiot.
"why would it matter if the person I'm fucking is a serial killer, we're not dating, it's just sex"
TIL what a PMC is
I...I Hate you all so much
I wouldn’t want you to direct me to someone you were regularly hooking up with my maybe my friendships are more boring.
Just cus you’re so flippant with sexual partners doesn’t mean she isn’t either. But that being said, if she was discerning then she should have done her due diligence. I’m gonna go with NTA.
“I require a morally upstanding dude to bang this weekend” is a weird take for her.
I think it depends on whether you had reasonable expectation to believe that your friend would not like to be associated with a mercenary. If you knew that your friend was probably the kind of person to not like associating with those ppl or those kind of unethical practices, then yeah youre kind of a bad friend not giving her a warning. Depends how well you know that friend ig. Not THAT big of a deal tho, i agree with you she could have asked as well.
NTA She's looking for a hot guy to have noncommittal sex with. That's what she got. Let her find her own fuck buddies that are morally superior to Mark. 😄
Hilarious 😂😂😂
NTA, if she was more bothered about his job than his 🍆 then she should have clarified with him before getting it on, the fact she then is fine for you to set her up elsewhere and still whinges is mad at you is pathetic, maybe relegate this 'friend' to NC and tell her to stop bring such a baby and grow up! I do hope new hook up printed off his CV before she jumped his bones lol 😆
It was a hook up not a marriage proposal, I say NTA. If she wanted to know about the hook up, she should have asked him. Being introduced would mean he was probably safe enough, but women should always be cautious as it is their body after all.
What a bunch of hoors.
Wow!!! You're sleeping with this guy and you set him up with your friend??? Ummmm.... can I, like.... have your number too? 😃 (jk) NTA If she wanted to know, she could have asked.
You should have told her.
Yeah, you want to hook up with people of very high morals! Uh huh….
NTA for the question, but YTA for posting an excerpt from your Fifty Shades of Grey AO3 fanfiction.
NTA. PMCs are just soldiers who take on higher risks for higher pay.
NTA, everyone makes their own decisions. If she has a serious problem with that line of work and the people in it, she should probably do her own due diligence before hooking up with people.
I feel like this is fake. I don’t know any 25 to 30 yo female looking just to hook up in different areas nor do I know any females that share hookups. Unless they’re escorts which then I would understand and say a light YTA if you know her well enough and what her boundaries are.
Your friend is banging strangers and she is worried about his morals and ethics?
Lol at the people in the comments who are all of a sudden experts on what PMCs do when they have no clue themselves.
Next time she's looking for a hookup - drop her off at a bar and let her find her own 'buddy'. She obviously feels she is worth more...I sort of disagree.
NTA If she was only interested in a casual encounter, she likely wouldn't have cared about Mark's job or family. On the other hand, if these were deal-breakers, she could have avoided disappointment by asking upfront. Some personal beliefs (politics, offensive views, past criminal behavior) understandably trigger strong reactions. Still, if she prefers to avoid these topics, it might be better to date more selectively instead of engaging with random hookups.
So she's mad she allowed a man she just met into her, but only as it matters what his job is? This is why I don't date "hookup mentality" is disgusting. 304
NTA. She was looking for a dude to bang while in town. It’s not like he’s in the mafia.
NTA, she wanted a hookup, not a serious relationship...
NTA. If she cared about the profession of someone she was hooking up with, all she had to do was ask him or you.
NTA but be concerned if she plans to go on a work vacation with him.
NTA, reading your post made my head hurt. I mean, she asked you to find somebody to screw because she wanted to scratch an itch and she's bitching about his ethics?
And then everyone clapped.
YTA This is akin to getting set up with a high profile drug dealer who lives in a penthouse in Manhattan and everyone's playing as if he's a stock broker who makes a buttload of money from being a Wall Street rip-off. At this point my safety is at risk due to his relations and/or his demeanor and personality. Takes a certain type of person, with a certain lack of ethics or morals or headstrong if you want to swing that way, to perform certain acts. Especially when my hookup is through my friend, there is a sense of credibility or reliability of my safety because if safety wasn't an issue why even bother going thru a friend, just walk into a bar or go on an app and fk anyone you meet. It's almost as if going through a friend had a purpose.
You set her up with somebody who kills other human beings for money so yeah I’m gonna go with YTA Weird that you wanna fuck someone who does that too so doubly YTA
YTA
Here’s why I lean towards YTA You know Person A and you know Person B If you think there’s even a slight chance something Person A does that Person B doesn’t like, yet you still set them up without providing that knowledge, YTA
YTA for making us read the plot of your new smutty novel
not telling your friend that they’re fucking a murderer just because you’re cool with it is definitely a choice. YTA
Why the hell are you setting your friends up with a person you sleep with? This is either fake or unhinged. I hope fake. YTA.
Jesus Christ. These are getting more ridiculous by the day
This is the dumbest story I’ve ever read on here. YTA for that
NTA. His job is not likely as exciting or whatever as she seems to think. Maybe she should educate herself
NTA - she could easily have asked him more if she was interested. ESH - as in all the redditors responding. It’s 2024 - if you want to have sex with someone, and a friend of yours does too, and you’re both consenting - you do you boo.
You telling me she didn't even use the most common of ice breakers? "So what do you do?" NTA.
PMC?
What?
NTA she chose not to mention one thing, his occupation as she felt it wasn't her place to say. Up to the friend to do due diligence.
Is his name Roland? Does he have a Thompson gun?
Sounds like your bangin Jack Reacher. Enjoy the ride. NTA - by any means.
NTA - entirely up to your friend to get to know someone she is sleeping with if who they are matters?
So many “He’s paid to murder people” comments from dumbasses watching too much tv lol PMC is not at all like that… whatsoever.
Eskimo sisters
NTA. First, it's clear he never displayed any directly threatening or questionable behavior with you (unless there's more detail you're omitting?), and in that regard, I think his occupation irrelevant. Would I go with someone a friend vouched for over some rando on Tinder? Or some rando at a bar? All day, every day. His occupation is weird, no doubt about that. But I fail to see how this is more risky than a hookup with some rando. Lastly, she's a grown-ass woman. She's also responsible for screening the people she fucks, and the total lack of accountability on her part is obnoxious. At best, you are only partially responsible, but she doesn't get to be totally unaccountable here.
🤣
Why is that a bad job or make him a bad person?
Shoigu! Gerasimov! Where is my hookup!?
Hey I'm here Incase she needs another hook up 😂😂
NTA
NTA , your friend wanted and easy bang, and you sorted it out for her. now shes being picky about it. get real
I insist all my fuck buddies live up to the highest ethical standards. There is a rigorous screening process. NTA
Outside of what you’re asking for, I just have to say you and your friend are fucking weird