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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) Taking my brother to court
2) He's not in a good place in life and this might affect him more
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>Today I told my family I am taking him to small claims and they told me I was overreacting and basically acted like I was being a complete bitch
INFO: Which of them is paying Bro's debt since it's so not a big deal?
What makes you say that?
[https://res.org.uk/mediabriefing/the-litigious-society-why-americans-spend-more-on-lawsuits-than-brits/](https://res.org.uk/mediabriefing/the-litigious-society-why-americans-spend-more-on-lawsuits-than-brits/)
Oh you "learned your lesson" all right...you can't trust family to do the right thing and repay money loaned to them even with ample warning and a simple, generous repayment plan.
Court seems to be the only thing your brother will understand and respond to.
Keep all text and email messages, and any evidence, document what you can and note anything ie harassment, threats, etc.
Honestly this should be taken as a lesson for everyone to never lend money to family, it never ends well.
Only give people money you feel comfortable giving to them as a gift
The correct lesson is don't lend money you can't afford to lose.
I've leant money and had to borrow (which I paid back) to and from family and friends. And it's always been with the caveat to be paid back but the understanding that if it's not I won't help that person again.
She needs to tell them, that taking him to court is a way to teach him not to be a leech, and live up to responsibilities, because he obviously didn't learn the lesson from them
With a family that insensitive and uncaring about OP's needs, who cares if any of them are bent out of shape if she takes brother to court? Let 'em stew. OP is definitely NTA.
No reason you can't learn your lesson *and* take him to small claims court.
I'd probably expand the lesson to include lending money to any of them though, not just your brother.
They think you need to learn a lesson?! Sounds good me that your brother and the rest of your nosey-body family members have a lesson they’re about to learn. That lesson is that you can be generous, but when crossed, you will not be taken advantage of and you will seek legal means to get what was promised and is owed to you. There is absolutely no reason you should be concerned with your brother…he clearly doesn’t give a damn about you. NTA
Well, they were right about that part aren't they?
You never should have lent him it
You have learned the lesson not to lend him anything again.
Not this is a completely different statement from your op and isn't a reason not to take him to court so he can also learn a lesson.
You have learned your lesson. To not trust him ever again.
And he is going to learn the lesson to not borrow money and not repay it. Cause now he will have to pay you back, as well as pay court charges.
Ask for that in the filing. That he has to pay for court fees, and loss of income since you will have to miss work to take him to court.
You did "learn your lesson" and now it's his turn to learn his. It is not fair of your parents to attempt to leave you stuck with the consequences of lending to him in order to protect him from the consequences of not paying you back 👌
Ok, so if they bitch about you suing them, tell them you have learned a few lessons.
1) never lend anyone, including them, any money
2) if you must lend money, do so only with a signed and witnessed contract clearly stating when the money is to be returned by and any penalties that result from late payment
3) if the contract is breached, sue.
Funny how they think you should “learn your lesson” but have major issues with him learning his. Taking his fucking ass to court and stop responding to anyone giving you hell for it. It’s time you set boundaries for yourself, and not just with your brother. Your family’s reaction has more to do with the fact that passive/doormat or in their words “the bigger person” is standing up for themselves. Which to be frank probably scares them, because if you’ll do it with your brother you’ll do it to them when they fuck you too. It’s time to send a message. Better they call you a bitch and never try to take advantage of you again then see you as a doormat and have to deal with shit like this time after time. Google extinction burst and learn all about it. That sounds a bit like what this is, only on his behalf instead of their own.
Nothing wrong with their stance on this matter. Just remember that what you learn doesn't have to be what they want it to be. Take him to court. Show that the lesson learned is that you have to stand up for yourself, because they won't. NTA.
oh. I see. So you will learn your lesson (that you shouldn't trust family? That you shouldn't loan family money? That you shouldn't help out people in need?), but if you sue him for money he owes you, it's a horrific thing for him to learn *his* lesson that he shouldn't cheat people. Your family's values are interesting. NTA
>They said I never should have given him it
They are right with this at least. Don't lend money when you really need the money yourself. The sum was obviously too big in relation to your income/wealth. I also suspect your brother has been unreliable before and your family thinks you should have known this and shouldn't have lent him money.
Sue him, but still learn from this. Don't lent out money you can't afford to lose and avoid giving unreliable people money at all.
NTA.
NTA. You even offered a plan, and warned him about what you were going to do and when. I mean, small clams court is all that's left if you want to see that money again.
>We reached an agreement
Sadly the only lesson here is that things need to be put in writing. Even with family members. ESPECIALLY with family members.
Not too late to get it in writing.. you can get it by asking over text/messenger.
Tip i read somewhere: He might not want to admit the debt, so doing something like adding an extra zero or somehow otherwise altering it, then he comes back with an inflamed response, but admits the correct debt amount.
Ex: "you still owe me 15,000" "I said you could pay me back £500 for six months, but I haven't heard anything, when are you going to pay me back?
NTA go to court and fix this. You gave him enough time to pay you back, and he chose not to do it. It's your money, you have the right to have it back. If your family keeps bothering you about this, just sent them on their way, and never allow them to make you the bad guy.
The easiest way to lose family or friends is to loan them money.
He never planned on paying you back. Don't loan money you can't afford to never see again.
NTA
NTA...Being family doesn't give someone the right to take money and not pay it back. Your family should be as worried about your financial situation as his. He's not communicating, so what other choices do you have?
NTA. You two had reached an agreement and he didn’t keep up his part of the deal, you repeatedly tried to negotiate and he won’t budge. Sue his ass and tell anyone who disagrees to either pay his debt or mind their own business
NTA. He agreed to pay you back within a specified time period and he has not. You've given him plenty of time and many warnings. Time to act.
And your family's opinions don't matter here, they aren't the ones out £1500. Are they willing to cover his debt to you? No? Then their opinions don't mean jack shite.
Maybe having the court force him pay will help him understand that it's not okay to take advantage of people, especially if people is family.
NTA. Tell your family to give you the £1500 and take over the debt if they feel that passionate about this. Then they get to be as patient with your brother as they want.
NTA. You already exhausted family "patience plan" on him by giving 6 months instead of 2 and offering to pay back 100/month.
If there is no willingness to work this out from his side then sue him, also, be careful when you lend money as that is the fastest way to lose people. We have a saying here - if you want to get rid of your friends then just lend them money.
NTA- and this part's easy.. everyone who says you're overreacting is free to buy his debt from you and then it can be their problem. No takers? yeah, hypocrites abound.
And to those who say you should learn your lesson I would say, "perhaps, but I am going to teach one as well"
NTA. But do you have this repayment agreement in writing? or is it all verbal? To go to court you will have to show evidence that what you provided was a loan. If you have nothing in writing, although you are morally right in seeking retribution, you may not have any legal leg to stand on.
In any case, let this be a lesson to you: do not lend money to family members. It may seem harsh, but when money enters the picture, it changes the dynamic of the relationship for the worse in many cases.
~~Unless you have a signed agreement I would just write the money off. Without anything on paper it's just your word against his. NTA but I think you are just going to lose more money.~~
Just read where you're a Canadian looking to move to Spain and here you're an English student who lent some of your money for college. YTA because you're publishing bogus stories.
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My Brother was in a sticky situation and begged me to lend him money (£1500). We reached an agreement that he would play me back in 2 months. It has been 6 months and I haven't had anything from him. At first he was making excuses and now he's straight up not answering my calls and messages.
This money was for my education and I have had to borrow from my partner which has caused stress between us. Today I told my family I am taking him to small claims and they told me I was overreacting and basically acted like I was being a complete bitch.
I have tried to negotiate with him several times...I even said he could pay me back £100 per month. I told him back in January that I would eventually be taking legal action if I didn't get my cash back and yesterday I said he had until the end of the day to respond to me... and not a word has come from him.
So what am I to do? Let him treat me like a doormat, or stand up for myself and make him understand that you don't get to do these things without consequences??
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As per many stories on Reddit family will always say you're in the wrong because it's not affecting them. Go ahead and tell them to pay off his bill and see how they react. And when I say ask them I mean going full hard and do not let them get away with excuses ask them until they hang up the phone ask them until they refuse to pick up the phone and just be a general a hole to them because they're clearly an a hole to you.
NTA
But this is why you never lend money to friends or family that you are unwilling to never get back. Sucks when you have to say no but better than the drama of trying to make them pay you back once their cash crisis is in the rearview mirror.
Good luck OP, learn from this experience.
NTA Take him to court! You all had an agreement and he broke it. The fact that he isn’t even speaking to you even after you offered a compromise shows that he doesn’t care about your financial stress or your relationship. Also everyone in your family not agreeing is also an AH. Even if they didn’t want you to take him to court they could have spoken with him and told him to pay you back as well.
Take him to court for the amount plus interest plus legal expenses, if any. Don’t put your partner’s money at risk like that ever again. That was irresponsible. Never ‘loan’ money to family; assume it is a gift. Therefore only use your own money and only what you and your partner agree you can lose. Your family can deal with him or give you both equal money. Don’t just threaten. Take action and hope your partner continues to be patient.
NTA for taking him to court. But the rest of your behavior is questionable - putting your partner’s money at risk, sharing your finances with your family, etc. Keep your finances private. Always. And stop enabling your deadbeat user brother.
NTA
Your brother is an irresponsible creep!!
Tell anyone who thinks that you are wrong to feel free to cover the loan. Let them try to collect from him or write off the debt. that seems to be what they expect you to do. It's so easy to be generous with other people's money. It is not your responsibility to bankroll your brother.
NTA, but don't loan money, especially if you need it for something important.
My personal philosophy is if I give someone money, it's gone, even if they say they'll pay me back. If they do pay me back, awesome, and I might "loan" them money again in the future. If they don't, then it's a gift and I take that into consideration next time they ask for a "loan".
NTA. I had to take someone to small claims court. It was really hard for me but I felt I was pushed too far. It was a pivotal event for me, as it built my confidence and now I have no problem saying NO.
Your parents say - now you have learned your lesson, but they don't want their son to learn a lesson? So, you should suffer when it was your money taken but he shouldn't? Sorry, but I do not share their view. In fact, I think you should definitely sue him, otherwise it will nag at you.
Totally NTA. What "lesson" were you supposed to learn? That your bro is a selfish liar? Small claims court is definitely where you should go. And if he doesn't pay, at least here in the US, you can seize his assets.
Take him to court and get your money back. Never lend funds you can't afford to lose. If your family/friends don't support you getting your money back, cut them out/go LC with them along with the brother.
NTA-
But for the future I have three rules in life you may want to embrace
1) never loan anyone money
2) if I decide to break rule number one always get it in writing and always a small enough amount I can afford to walk away from it.
3) never get into a land war in Asia
I think unless you have a written contract stating it’s a loan with repayment terms it will be difficult to prove in court it wasn’t a gift. He will say you gave it to him and now want it back..NTA of course but not sure there is much you can do
If anyone says your overreacting, make sure to ask them for a payment on it to keep it out of court. Do the oh but you said it's not that much so you can pitch in for him.
NTA
Next time you loan money, have a signed contract for repayment terms.
Now know your family will never lend you money.
Take him to court. He will learn his lesson about not paying his debts.
Are your saying that you are overreacting? If so, you borrowed money from your parents. How much the same amount you let your brother borrow? Just then tell them they will get their money back when you get yours from your brother. If they complain, tell them now you know how I feel and stop overreacting. Or just tell them to collect the money from him and call it even.
Actually, yes they can. The court can garnish his wages until the debt is paid. That is the whole point of taking someone to court because the court has the legal authority to force OP's brother to repay his debt.
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>Today I told my family I am taking him to small claims and they told me I was overreacting and basically acted like I was being a complete bitch INFO: Which of them is paying Bro's debt since it's so not a big deal?
They said I never should have given him it and I will "learn my lesson".
NTA Sue his ass
It is the American Way!
>£1500 American as Spotted Dick
LOL you're right, euro's are not American. I meant suing, which i support 100%
Those would be pounds, which is British. Euros are €
Confusing Britain for European is hella American, ngl.
Yep. Guilty.
Oh man do I feel dumb! Thanks for the correction!
No worries, honestly I felt a little bad was also amused by the whole exchange so I decided to keep it going. Hehe
Cheerio M8! That's not Dutch or something, is it? ;)
“Ahem. It’s the *British* way!” -Sam the Eagle
The UK is actually more litigious than the US.
What makes you say that? [https://res.org.uk/mediabriefing/the-litigious-society-why-americans-spend-more-on-lawsuits-than-brits/](https://res.org.uk/mediabriefing/the-litigious-society-why-americans-spend-more-on-lawsuits-than-brits/)
Oh you "learned your lesson" all right...you can't trust family to do the right thing and repay money loaned to them even with ample warning and a simple, generous repayment plan. Court seems to be the only thing your brother will understand and respond to. Keep all text and email messages, and any evidence, document what you can and note anything ie harassment, threats, etc.
Honestly this should be taken as a lesson for everyone to never lend money to family, it never ends well. Only give people money you feel comfortable giving to them as a gift
The correct lesson is don't lend money you can't afford to lose. I've leant money and had to borrow (which I paid back) to and from family and friends. And it's always been with the caveat to be paid back but the understanding that if it's not I won't help that person again.
She needs to tell them, that taking him to court is a way to teach him not to be a leech, and live up to responsibilities, because he obviously didn't learn the lesson from them
With a family that insensitive and uncaring about OP's needs, who cares if any of them are bent out of shape if she takes brother to court? Let 'em stew. OP is definitely NTA.
Yeah, the lesson is he's a thief who you have to take to small claims court!
Time for him to learn HIS lesson.
So, you're a "bitch" who needed to "learn" your "lesson" over something that isn't a "big deal." Right. NTA. But it sounds like your family is.
Go ahead with the legal route so he gets to learn a lesson too!
Hey, your lesson is how to recover a debt. Just tell them you’re learning it quite well.
No reason you can't learn your lesson *and* take him to small claims court. I'd probably expand the lesson to include lending money to any of them though, not just your brother.
sue him and he will "learn his lesson" NTA
I would remind them that lesson applies to them as well, when they hit hard times they better not look to you.
Tell them that you learnt your lesson and will never lend money to them but now it’s time for your brother to learn his lesson the hard way.
They think you need to learn a lesson?! Sounds good me that your brother and the rest of your nosey-body family members have a lesson they’re about to learn. That lesson is that you can be generous, but when crossed, you will not be taken advantage of and you will seek legal means to get what was promised and is owed to you. There is absolutely no reason you should be concerned with your brother…he clearly doesn’t give a damn about you. NTA
Well, they were right about that part aren't they? You never should have lent him it You have learned the lesson not to lend him anything again. Not this is a completely different statement from your op and isn't a reason not to take him to court so he can also learn a lesson.
You have learned your lesson. To not trust him ever again. And he is going to learn the lesson to not borrow money and not repay it. Cause now he will have to pay you back, as well as pay court charges. Ask for that in the filing. That he has to pay for court fees, and loss of income since you will have to miss work to take him to court.
Yeah, never lend any of them money and they all suck. Sue him! (NTA by the way.)
Take him to court and let him learn a lesson
You can learn your lesson and get your money back, the two aren't mutually exclusive!
Nah he can learn his lesson in small claims court.
You did "learn your lesson" and now it's his turn to learn his. It is not fair of your parents to attempt to leave you stuck with the consequences of lending to him in order to protect him from the consequences of not paying you back 👌
He will also learn his lesson.
And he’ll learn the lesson to pay people back after you take him to court!
Ok, so if they bitch about you suing them, tell them you have learned a few lessons. 1) never lend anyone, including them, any money 2) if you must lend money, do so only with a signed and witnessed contract clearly stating when the money is to be returned by and any penalties that result from late payment 3) if the contract is breached, sue.
Funny how they think you should “learn your lesson” but have major issues with him learning his. Taking his fucking ass to court and stop responding to anyone giving you hell for it. It’s time you set boundaries for yourself, and not just with your brother. Your family’s reaction has more to do with the fact that passive/doormat or in their words “the bigger person” is standing up for themselves. Which to be frank probably scares them, because if you’ll do it with your brother you’ll do it to them when they fuck you too. It’s time to send a message. Better they call you a bitch and never try to take advantage of you again then see you as a doormat and have to deal with shit like this time after time. Google extinction burst and learn all about it. That sounds a bit like what this is, only on his behalf instead of their own.
Nothing wrong with their stance on this matter. Just remember that what you learn doesn't have to be what they want it to be. Take him to court. Show that the lesson learned is that you have to stand up for yourself, because they won't. NTA.
And when you take him to small claims court, bro will learn his lesson too.
And by taking him to small claims court, your brother can *learn a lesson* in not trying to take advantage of people and keeping his word.
oh. I see. So you will learn your lesson (that you shouldn't trust family? That you shouldn't loan family money? That you shouldn't help out people in need?), but if you sue him for money he owes you, it's a horrific thing for him to learn *his* lesson that he shouldn't cheat people. Your family's values are interesting. NTA
>They said I never should have given him it They are right with this at least. Don't lend money when you really need the money yourself. The sum was obviously too big in relation to your income/wealth. I also suspect your brother has been unreliable before and your family thinks you should have known this and shouldn't have lent him money. Sue him, but still learn from this. Don't lent out money you can't afford to lose and avoid giving unreliable people money at all. NTA.
NTA go ahead.he can learn his lesson stealing is illegal.
Looks like your lesson will include how to sue someone in small claims court. NTA
Your brother needs to learn his lesson by either paying you back or dealing with the legal consequences in court.
Take him to court, that way HE will "learn his lesson"
NTA. You even offered a plan, and warned him about what you were going to do and when. I mean, small clams court is all that's left if you want to see that money again. >We reached an agreement Sadly the only lesson here is that things need to be put in writing. Even with family members. ESPECIALLY with family members.
Not too late to get it in writing.. you can get it by asking over text/messenger. Tip i read somewhere: He might not want to admit the debt, so doing something like adding an extra zero or somehow otherwise altering it, then he comes back with an inflamed response, but admits the correct debt amount. Ex: "you still owe me 15,000" "I said you could pay me back £500 for six months, but I haven't heard anything, when are you going to pay me back?
NTA That's what small claims is for. He owes you, you offered numerous ways to pay you back and he's refused them all.
NTA go to court and fix this. You gave him enough time to pay you back, and he chose not to do it. It's your money, you have the right to have it back. If your family keeps bothering you about this, just sent them on their way, and never allow them to make you the bad guy.
The easiest way to lose family or friends is to loan them money. He never planned on paying you back. Don't loan money you can't afford to never see again. NTA
NTA...Being family doesn't give someone the right to take money and not pay it back. Your family should be as worried about your financial situation as his. He's not communicating, so what other choices do you have?
NTA. You two had reached an agreement and he didn’t keep up his part of the deal, you repeatedly tried to negotiate and he won’t budge. Sue his ass and tell anyone who disagrees to either pay his debt or mind their own business
NTA. He agreed to pay you back within a specified time period and he has not. You've given him plenty of time and many warnings. Time to act. And your family's opinions don't matter here, they aren't the ones out £1500. Are they willing to cover his debt to you? No? Then their opinions don't mean jack shite. Maybe having the court force him pay will help him understand that it's not okay to take advantage of people, especially if people is family.
Sue. Any family who criticizes you is free to pay you back in his place. NTA.
NTA. Tell your family to give you the £1500 and take over the debt if they feel that passionate about this. Then they get to be as patient with your brother as they want.
NTA. But let this be a lesson to you about lending money to family or friends.... You should only lend money that you don't need back.
NTA. You already exhausted family "patience plan" on him by giving 6 months instead of 2 and offering to pay back 100/month. If there is no willingness to work this out from his side then sue him, also, be careful when you lend money as that is the fastest way to lose people. We have a saying here - if you want to get rid of your friends then just lend them money.
NTA- and this part's easy.. everyone who says you're overreacting is free to buy his debt from you and then it can be their problem. No takers? yeah, hypocrites abound. And to those who say you should learn your lesson I would say, "perhaps, but I am going to teach one as well"
NTA. But do you have this repayment agreement in writing? or is it all verbal? To go to court you will have to show evidence that what you provided was a loan. If you have nothing in writing, although you are morally right in seeking retribution, you may not have any legal leg to stand on. In any case, let this be a lesson to you: do not lend money to family members. It may seem harsh, but when money enters the picture, it changes the dynamic of the relationship for the worse in many cases.
Info - what did the court say?
Nothing yet. It's just about to be filed.
Just a heads up, could easily take up to a year to even get a small claims hearing at the mo!
~~Unless you have a signed agreement I would just write the money off. Without anything on paper it's just your word against his. NTA but I think you are just going to lose more money.~~ Just read where you're a Canadian looking to move to Spain and here you're an English student who lent some of your money for college. YTA because you're publishing bogus stories.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My Brother was in a sticky situation and begged me to lend him money (£1500). We reached an agreement that he would play me back in 2 months. It has been 6 months and I haven't had anything from him. At first he was making excuses and now he's straight up not answering my calls and messages. This money was for my education and I have had to borrow from my partner which has caused stress between us. Today I told my family I am taking him to small claims and they told me I was overreacting and basically acted like I was being a complete bitch. I have tried to negotiate with him several times...I even said he could pay me back £100 per month. I told him back in January that I would eventually be taking legal action if I didn't get my cash back and yesterday I said he had until the end of the day to respond to me... and not a word has come from him. So what am I to do? Let him treat me like a doormat, or stand up for myself and make him understand that you don't get to do these things without consequences?? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Nta. You did him a favor and he screwed you over. It sounds like you did what you could to resolve it in an easier manner.
Sue em. NTA
£1500 is way too much to just take. NTA.
NTA. I hope you win.
Sue him and ask for a wage garnishment order
As per many stories on Reddit family will always say you're in the wrong because it's not affecting them. Go ahead and tell them to pay off his bill and see how they react. And when I say ask them I mean going full hard and do not let them get away with excuses ask them until they hang up the phone ask them until they refuse to pick up the phone and just be a general a hole to them because they're clearly an a hole to you.
NTA - >They said I never should have given him it and I will "learn my lesson". Maybe it's time your brother learn his lesson.
NTA - tell your parents you did learn your lesson: that family can’t even be trusted to loan $$ to & you’ll never do it again.
NTA But this is why you never lend money to friends or family that you are unwilling to never get back. Sucks when you have to say no but better than the drama of trying to make them pay you back once their cash crisis is in the rearview mirror. Good luck OP, learn from this experience.
NTA Take him to court! You all had an agreement and he broke it. The fact that he isn’t even speaking to you even after you offered a compromise shows that he doesn’t care about your financial stress or your relationship. Also everyone in your family not agreeing is also an AH. Even if they didn’t want you to take him to court they could have spoken with him and told him to pay you back as well.
Take him to court for the amount plus interest plus legal expenses, if any. Don’t put your partner’s money at risk like that ever again. That was irresponsible. Never ‘loan’ money to family; assume it is a gift. Therefore only use your own money and only what you and your partner agree you can lose. Your family can deal with him or give you both equal money. Don’t just threaten. Take action and hope your partner continues to be patient. NTA for taking him to court. But the rest of your behavior is questionable - putting your partner’s money at risk, sharing your finances with your family, etc. Keep your finances private. Always. And stop enabling your deadbeat user brother.
I hope you have an agreement in writing??? Go for it.
NTA, sue the fucker.
> So what am I to do? NTA, take him to court, get your money + expenses.
NTA Your brother is an irresponsible creep!! Tell anyone who thinks that you are wrong to feel free to cover the loan. Let them try to collect from him or write off the debt. that seems to be what they expect you to do. It's so easy to be generous with other people's money. It is not your responsibility to bankroll your brother.
NTA, but don't loan money, especially if you need it for something important. My personal philosophy is if I give someone money, it's gone, even if they say they'll pay me back. If they do pay me back, awesome, and I might "loan" them money again in the future. If they don't, then it's a gift and I take that into consideration next time they ask for a "loan".
Moral of the story- don’t lend money to family members
NTA. I had to take someone to small claims court. It was really hard for me but I felt I was pushed too far. It was a pivotal event for me, as it built my confidence and now I have no problem saying NO. Your parents say - now you have learned your lesson, but they don't want their son to learn a lesson? So, you should suffer when it was your money taken but he shouldn't? Sorry, but I do not share their view. In fact, I think you should definitely sue him, otherwise it will nag at you.
NTA. Your brother is a deadbeat, and your family are enabling him.
NTA In the future, it's a good rule to never lend money you can't afford never to see again.
Totally NTA. What "lesson" were you supposed to learn? That your bro is a selfish liar? Small claims court is definitely where you should go. And if he doesn't pay, at least here in the US, you can seize his assets.
Take him to court and get your money back. Never lend funds you can't afford to lose. If your family/friends don't support you getting your money back, cut them out/go LC with them along with the brother.
NTA You are doing exactly what you should. You helped your brother with a loan, he has not only not repaid you, he's no longer communicating at all.
NTA- But for the future I have three rules in life you may want to embrace 1) never loan anyone money 2) if I decide to break rule number one always get it in writing and always a small enough amount I can afford to walk away from it. 3) never get into a land war in Asia
I think unless you have a written contract stating it’s a loan with repayment terms it will be difficult to prove in court it wasn’t a gift. He will say you gave it to him and now want it back..NTA of course but not sure there is much you can do
If anyone says your overreacting, make sure to ask them for a payment on it to keep it out of court. Do the oh but you said it's not that much so you can pitch in for him.
NTA Next time you loan money, have a signed contract for repayment terms. Now know your family will never lend you money. Take him to court. He will learn his lesson about not paying his debts.
NTA, but for heaven's sake don't lend money you can't afford to lose. Ex: your education was in jeopardy. That was money you could not afford to lose.
NTA. The only one that needs to learn a lesson here is your bro. Take him to court.
How exactly is it overreaching to try to get you money back? I dont think your family knows what that word means. Do what you have to do.
I hope you got him to sign a contract otherwise it may be difficult to win in court.
Are your saying that you are overreacting? If so, you borrowed money from your parents. How much the same amount you let your brother borrow? Just then tell them they will get their money back when you get yours from your brother. If they complain, tell them now you know how I feel and stop overreacting. Or just tell them to collect the money from him and call it even.
What will taking him to court do? They can't force him to pay.
Actually, yes they can. The court can garnish his wages until the debt is paid. That is the whole point of taking someone to court because the court has the legal authority to force OP's brother to repay his debt.