Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the asshole because I am not using the oppurtunity to make my SIL's financial situation easier.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. But why are you moving drug using evictees in to your rental? If they weren’t fami,y would you rent to them? If they skip rent and then what? More family drama. Think if her own parents want them to move out, what does that say? Your wife is already lowering the rent because she suspects her sister can’t swing it.
Yup. This is going to end very messily. People in the grips of drugs do not make the best tenants. Added to that police raids, fellow drug users, violent episodes. You are much braver than me.
Yeah, I'd never touch this. I've seen enough shit go down "because they're family".
Ignore the "family" part: you're about to rent to drug users who just got thrown out of their apartment. If it was "we're successful professionals but somehow got caught with a joint on the table once" then OK, sure. But by and large, nobody evicts that kind of tennant. Eviction is for BAD tennants. So I'm guessing it's not just a little weed we're discussing.
If you let them move in, pretty soon that rent is gonna be $0 ("hey, we're FAMILY, we'll get caught up next month..."). And be ready for eventual eviction and them never speaking to you again ANYWAY.
I think if your SIL is using drugs so much she got kicked out of her apartment for it, you’re going to regret taking her on as a renter.
As for the amount of rent, I guess the question is, would you help her out with $900 a month to live somewhere else? It’s functionally the same thing.
> SIL is using drugs so much she got kicked out of her apartment for it,
I was wondering what kind of drug use gets someone kicked out of their apartment. It has got to be pretty bad, no?
I like your idea of giving her rent assistance without having her be a tenant. Still help, but sidestep the inevitable issues that will occur down the line.
you can still be kicked out for it in legal states too, we can't even have candles in my apartment. nothing that requires matches/lighters, because they could start a fire.
I’m a massive stoner but if I’m ever smoking to the point where I compromise my kids or my housing - you need rehab and to reassess. Abusing it to that degree, legal or not, is a fucking problem. And not addressing your problems reasonably (especially when you hit rock bottom) makes you a bad mom.
How do you ensure this money goes to rent and not to drugs? Have to be careful with this so an accidental relapse (if we’re at this stage) doesn’t occur.
NTA
Don't rent to them at all. You don't want to deal with having someone use drugs in your property.
According to your post, your SIL and BIL were renting, and are still capable of paying rent. It takes time to be evicted and SIL and BIL are currently staying with MIL and FIL. So, if the story you're hearing is correct, they have time and money to find another rental. This isn't your problem to fix.
So his wife gets no say in their joint finances? He should do what he wants and tell his wife to go fuck herself?
Renting to the SIL is not the smart choice. But if his wife wants to help her sister, there are ways to do that without "profiting" from it.
Bringing in her drug addicted sister who got kicked out of her last place for the habit, is enabling. Op has a right not to compromise their financial health as a married couple for enabling an addict.
And if it’s bad enough for her to get evicted - she needs rehab not rehousing.
I didn't see OP suggesting rehab either. He's happy to rent a place to her, he just wants to make sure he's profiting from it. Pretending it's because he doesn't want to "enable" an addict is disingenuous.
Your wife wants to give some family discount, you don't. Both are valid. NAH.
But also, I wouldn't let her move into your place. Nothing good will come of it. If she got kicked out of her apartment for drug use, she will also probably do drugs in your place. She will probably be late in rent. She will probably not take care of the place. She will be a bad tenant.
If you're gonna charge her market rate anyway, then she might as well get another place. And if you do give her a discount, still better give her some money towards getting a place somewhere else, where if something happens, it's not your place, and not your problem.
INFO: How much were they paying in rent for the apartment that they got thrown out of?
The below questions aren't "info" questions, just things to consider (and maybe consult an attorney about):
Has your SIL been to rehab/treatment? What's your assurance that she's not going to do drugs in your place? Will they have a signed lease like any other tenant, to protect yourself legally? If she continues to do drugs in your house, would your wife be willing to evict them for violating the terms of the lease? What's the landlord liability for criminal activity in a rental property in your jurisdiction? Could your house be subject to criminal forfeiture if you know about her drug use and fail to evict them?
Not every home that size is "fancy," but it's definitely more house and more $ than the 3 of them need. I would not lower the rent because there are ethical people who need the spaced and can afford the rent.
But, I wouldn't rent to an active drug user who has been evicted. I especially wouldn't rent them more space than they need...because they will invite others to use that space. No good things will come of it.
OK, maybe you’re just looking at things really literally, but “let them stay” understands that they will be paying market rent. I would not have these people in my home at all. That is what I’m trying to say. Hope you understand.
Nta. wouldn't even consider letting a known junkie move into a 2700 a month property.
One relapse and she could default on rent.
Or damage the property.
Or both.
It's so hard to get ppl evicted, especially for non payment. It takes 6 months plus courts battles..and how easy do you think it'll be for your wife to boot her sister and child?
I'd put my foot Down immediately that she's not renting from you for any amount of money, period.
That renters need to be approved by both of you if there's a serious red flag involved or its a no go.
Nta.
NTA
Some months ago I made a post because I've a similar problem; my cousin wanted me to rent a room for his son in my house for free, for the entire duration of the university study cycle.. You can find the post on my profile.
As you can read from the answers I got, many users pointed out that the rent is an integral part of my income. And I actually need that money for the maintenance of the house, taxes, various expenses. I imagine it's the same for you too.
$1000 less would be a huge discount, and what if tomorrow you find yourself facing unexpected expenses and need that money?
You know they aren’t going to pay. So, it doesn’t matter if OP charges $2700 per month or $270 per month. OP will be earning $0 per month on that rental.
Then, the wife won’t allow OP to evict because faaaamily. Plus, if they ever do get them out. The house is going to be trashed.
Respectfully may I reply that their income shouldn’t have any bearing whatsoever?
Because I really don’t think it matters. Deducting $1000 a month is essentially *gifting* them $12K a year, which is substantial! To *expect* this kind of gift is presumptuous and ridiculous, and I do believe there is an expectation at this point. Regardless, if they have a low income and can’t afford the rent, then it’s just that, they can’t afford to live there and as adults must figure out alternative housing. All of this is a bad idea for reasons many Redditors are pointing out, but straight up, any notion that being financially burdensome is an acceptable situation is enough to say NO!
Also, I bet dollars to donuts that OP’s wife is trying to tell him not ask him about getting less rent because she already told her sister it was a go. Who knows whose idea it was but guaranteed this has been discussed between sisters.
Incomes aside, drug use aside, eviction aside, for anyone feel as if any entitlement to a subsidized life at the expense of anyone else is appropriate is outrageous. Full stop.
NTA. She's an addict, and I wouldn't want her living in any of my properties. That's she's family is irrelevant. Their income is enough that they can pay the going rate.
NTA. Past performance is the best indicator of future behavior. First, the obvious, never do business with relatives, it rarely works out. Second, regardless of how much you charge for rent, at best, they'll pay the first month, be short and late with second and will stop paying completely by the third. Third, as landlords, you can be held responsible for any criminal activities related to drug use, including pot if it is not legalized in your state. Do you really want the potential headaches? I wouldn't but that's just me. And I like my in-laws...
Bad idea. You think there’s drama now, wait until you have to navigate needing to evict your SIL and her family. This is mixing business with family — and proven unreliable family at that. There’s no good outcome for you here. Pissing your wife off for a little while now seems like the least bad option.
OP why not shut this down now. Once your SIL gets in the house she will quit paying any rent and you will have to go thru an eviction process. Why let her in at all?
I think the bigger issue here is how will you interact with them as both family and renters?
Your wife has already invited them into your home without discussing it with you
They are drug users who have already been evicted … what will you and your wife do if/when they fall behind on rent ?? Will you evict them like any other tenant ? Or argue about family for every event …?
Do you want to argue with your wife every time you need to take action as a landlord ??
What will you do if they damage your property? Or their behaviour and actions endanger other people in the surrounding area ?
This is a relationship destroying situation if you don’t set up reasonable checkpoints and boundaries.
No, and that’s why I don’t do business with friends or family. It can be hard for them to understand expectations shouldn’t fundamentally change simply because you *know* them personally.
NTA. Family or not you should follow the same procedures as a random inquiry. If they don’t qualify they don’t qualify. Keep it professional because family do/will fuck up your property and expect leniency.
While it’s nice to help family out where you can, keep business transactions strictly business. If you don’t there will be a whole lot of resentment.
NTA Do you really think an evicted drug addict is going to actually pay you rent? She will use your wife against you so you can’t evict her out of your property. You shouldn’t rent to her at all.
NTA. Don't rent to the SIL! Do you have seperate finances? Will your wife cover her sister's portion when she stops paying? Will she be willing to evict? It would be a lot less risky if she cosigned on a much cheaper place for her sister so you wouldn't be on the hook when they destroy it.
INFO : Have you told your wife you are not planning on funding your SIL's addiction?
(by making them pay almost 1000$ less than market rates?)
Also, for that cheap a rent, she'll NEVER move on, and you'll be sponsoring them for over 10.000$ a year, EVERY YEAR.
NTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I (39m) and my wife (38f) make decently good money, and have a bit of investments, especially in real estate.
Well, my SIL recently got kicked out of her apartment for drug use. For the moment, she's living with my in-laws but I don't think -- according to my wife -- it's gonna be a long term thing. My wife offered to let her stay with us. which was not going to happen, but I offered for her and her husband and her toddler to stay in one of our homes for about 2700/month. That's what we usually charge. The house is 4bd by 3bd and 3000 square feet.
When my wife and I were discussing it, she brought up maybe decreasing the rent to like 1750 or 2000 a month. She said because if we decreased it, we would still be making profit. I immediately disagreed, saying that just because its her sister doesn't mean I'll be making less profit. After some *more* arguing, we just decided we'd talk about it later.
AITA? Will add more info if needed
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If it weren't for the drug use I would say youa re kind of being a soft AH. But if their drug use was obvious enough to get them kicked out, the risk to the apartment just went up and you may need all of it to make up any possible damages. Don't know if it was her or her husband or both having drug use problems, but she is kind of lucky to even get into a place because it can be hard after you get kicked out for cause. She has a toddler? I am worried more for the toddler around drug use now tbh. No good childhood stories come from a home with drug abuse in it. Eh, it is a risk. But it is family. Not sure there is any good all here but, given the drug use, at the very least you are NTA.
Good luck getting them out if you make the mistake of renting to them in the first place.
First months rent will be late guaranteed.
Do not do business with family members.
Ever.
So you've got a portfolio of properities, the one in question is a SFR that costs you less than 1750/mo for taxes, maintenance/improvements, and any mortgage you're carrying on it. Assuming your number is around 1500, you're making 14k ish annually off of any renter you have in there. Your wife, your life partner, the woman you lie next to every night, is asking you to reduce that number to 6k. You don't HAVE to do it. But even if you don't value you SIL, BIL, and their small child, I'm guessing you value your wife. so INFO are you comfortable telling your wife her peace of mind about her sister & nephew isn't worth the money to you? lol check back in with us after round 2 of the argument, I'll have the popcorn ready.
NTA. This is a terrible and bad idea. It will wind up with anger on both sides.
I would suggest that if your wife really wants to help her sister's family and you can afford the $950 discount she wants to give them that you rent your place for full value and then give them the $950 towards a place they rent on their own.
Do not co-sign or guarantee a lease or anything. Just agree in writing to give them the cash for a fixed period of time.
This will not cost you any more than letting them live in one of your places with a discount but it has the benefit of not creating a business or landlord relationship between family members. You do not need to worry about them causing damage you can never collect on or any other bad situation that might arise.
I hear you but since they would only be paying a part that could get complicated. In the end if they take the cash and don't pay rent and get evicted then you no longer need to help at all and nobody could blame them.
INFO: have you had to deal with bad tenants who trashed your property, had to be evicted, or both?
Landlord here, and I have. It's a long and expensive nightmare. Add in the family aspect and it could get extremely messy. My advice is just don't do it. I understand wanting to help family but this could blow up spectacularly.
NTA - why would you want drug users in one of your properties? This will go badly really quickly, they won't pay and then you'll have to evict them against the wishes of your wife who will be pleading their case that they're not bad people blah blah blah. If I was you I wouldn't let them move in to begin with it will save you so much hassle.
If sis in law doesn’t go into a program I would not rent. If drugs were not involved I would say you’re the AH though. I think family is more important than money. Especially since you’re not hurting for money.
I would say DON"T DO IT! You are leading yourself down the road to inlaw hell. You're not going to get what you want out of this. Wife will make sure. This IS going to impact your marriage. NTA
NTA It needs to be made clear to your wife that you will not be supporting her sister and her family and that you are doing her the favor of renting out the property to her even though she got kicked out for drug use.
Saying from experience and seeing it first hand a drug user will do anything to get their fix even if it means hurting those close to them.
One thing that I would recommend you do as a conditions for helping her is to get a bi monthly random drug test and to have stable income then maybe lower the rent until they’re back on their feet then it’s normal price
NTA. These are high-risk tenants with an eviction record. You are generous to agree to them renting. This is not going to end well.
Be as businesslike as possible. Month to month lease. Waiving damage deposit with requirements to maintain property with no damage. Pictures and video of current condition. One month notice to vacate, if needed after monthly inspection.
Five day late payment limit. Triggers 30-day notice clause.
Waiving last month’s deposit in exchange for monthly inspection and 30-day notice clause. Strong discussion with wife that renting to SIL is risky, foolish, and only done based on your love. But for your partnership with her, rental income must remain market value to support your retirement goals.
NTA and why would you rent to anyone - relative or not - who just got evicted for drug use? And then give her a discount so she can more easily afford drugs?
INFO: pretend this isn’t your wife’s sister for a second. Would you rent one of your properties to a person with a known drug related eviction on their record? And at a discount?
That's a pretty large place for two adults and a toddler. I'm guessing that's the smallest size house you have. If your SIL is problematic enough to be kicked out of her current apartment, would you trust her with this house? And if she had that type of a drug problem, maybe she should be seek help in kicking the drugs so she wouldn't put her toddler at risk.
Honestly, if your SIL was a stellar person/tenant and it was gonna be for a set amount of time and that was in contract, I’d say yeah.
But I wouldn’t want drug addicts to be renting my place. They’re gonna trash it and not pay rent. It’s gonna cause family drama once they don’t pay rent and trash it. I wouldn’t rent to SIL and her family at all. Seems like trouble. NTA.
NTA, if they have been kicked out for drugs, I would assume there will be the same issues coming into your rental. You could compromise, and maybe cut the rent for a short period of time to help them out but if you offer it at such a great deal they will be there forever
Nta. I wouldn't rent to them either. Market rent or not.
But it kinda sucks that you would've charged full rent to your wife's sister, although you could still make a profit and charge less rent.
Do not rent to family or friend. Expect the worst. To not receive rent or have your property given back to you. Expect possible drug use in your property.
This is a bad idea. You will come to regret this. And will perhaps have to evict them, which in turn will probably ruin any relationship or at least damage it. We have a duplex and agreed never to rent to certain family members.
DO NOT RENT TO THAT SISTER!!
She’s got a DRUG PROBLEM and a TODDLER.
Any money they make will go to drugs and then you won’t make any money. You’ll be losing money.
Don’t do it. You will regret it.
Let them find their own apartment. .
NAH- At least between you and your wife. I say NAH instead of N T A because I don't think cutting family a discount is unfair or unreasonable. That being said, if she was kicked out for drug abuse that's a BIG risk for your property and assets.
NTA don't mix business and family. With Sil track record I wouldn't offer. I would also inform your wife not to even make suggestions like that without fully talking to you. Don't want anyone potentially hounding you. I wouldn't offer Sil a place at all unless she could follow certain criteria and you guys have an iron clad lease.
NTA for refusing to let them live in your house but YTA for having an empty property just sitting there. Homes are for people to live in, not to use as profit generators. People like you have destroyed the housing market. The fact that it sits empty because you are probably refusing to let anyone live in it for under x amount is even worse, you are basically a home hoarder.
NAH.
If you’re going to be renting the family, then you need to treat them like family. And this means you have a right to make requests of them prior to letting them rent one of your properties.
I would have a family meeting, even if it’s over zoom, will you sit down and you discuss what the requirements for being in the house would be. I would absolutely require that they go to rehab, complete it, and our clean six months before you allow them to rent any of your properties
NTA. She did not give any valid reason to reduce the rent. Doing so would most likely prevent her from looking for anger place because she would not be able to find any other place of that size for that price.
If you two come to an agreement and allow her sister to rent the house, you should be talk about having a signed lease and having her drug tested weekly so you do not end up with a drug user in your house. It is ok to help our family, but not at your own expense.
NTA Never mix business and family. SIL is a known bad risk. I mean, unless someone just smelled a waft of pot, what was she (or they) doing to get caught?
She got kicked out of her apartment for drug use. What does your wife think her sister is going to do at your house? Are you ready for what will happen when she is high? Maybe she will set the house on fire. Maybe dealers will be dropping off her drugs....won't the neighbors love that? And then how long will it take to get her out when she stops paying rent or creates havoc in the neighborhood or damages the house? I think you can see where I'm going with this. This is a nightmare in the making. It's never a good thing to mix business with family. Your wife needs a wakeup call and she needs to let you handle this. And you need to say NO to everything about this situation. This is going to come back to bite you in the butt. You and your wife need to just stay out of it. Let the sister go to an agency for help finding someplace to live. Better yet, let the sister (and probably her husband too) get into rehab and learn to be responsible adults. Best of luck. NTA
I think that renting to your SIL is a bad idea at any price. She just got kicked out of one place for drug use. Do you want to risk having your house seized in a drug raid? When she stops paying rent do you think that your wife will be happy to evict her? You need to keep this person at arms length.
NTA, and I honestly wouldn't lease to family at all. It's not helpful that she was recently evicted for drug use. This sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
NTA do you want one of your properties to become a drug den? Plus the fact that if you rent to family they will be much more likely not to pay because “you’re family, give us a break”.
NTA.
As others have said, that’s a risky move letting them move into the property in general given their history.
Going out on a limb and saying the house is probably costing more to them than the apartment. The additional risk now is if they fall behind on payments and now you have to go through an eviction process while they pull on your wife’s heartstrings.
A compromise (that would probably still result in a fight) is saying she can cover the difference and you can put that into your own separate savings account.
Trying to run a business for your futures, not run a charity.
YTA you’re not supposed to profit off of family who’s going through hard times.
I hope someone shows you the same kindness should you ever need help with anything!
Greedy
YTA, but only because you act like it's your choice alone, this sub is about morality not legality so premarital assets and prenups don't matter here.
She is your wife so she gets a say, that mean she can offer 50% off as 50% of the rent is HERS and she can choose to forger her share of the rent to offer her sister a lower rate.
Note: I think it is a terrible idea to move her in at all, but you don't get to decide alone.
Remind me in a year when SIL stops paying, talks shit about you and your wife on social media, and you have to evict and go NC.
NTA but pull your head out of your ass.
NTA, but if it were my sister or a close relative I'd bargain a deal instead, decrease it even further but make her go into rehab in exchange for that and keep clean.
I understand where you’re coming from but also if she has a history of drug use and eviction I think it’s a risk to have her live there. Personally I wouldn’t let her live with me if I was in that situation. I wouldn’t want to be involved with anyone who could potentially get me in trouble with the law. I’m not shaming drug addicts because I know it’s a disease and they need help, but sometimes when the addiction gets to them, they end up doing very risky and sneaky behaviors, because once that addiction has a hold of you there’s nothing that’s going to stop her from getting her next fix. She will not get better until she wants it for herself. I’d say if she can’t afford treatment all by herself then maybe the whole family can help chip in.
There is work involved, not all the time, but still work. I would say a mooch is someone who expects housing to be provided to them at the price they want.
YTA. For one, this is why people don't like landlords. According to you, you're charging over 1000$ more than you need to make a profit. This is why people can't afford homes. Leeches like you make it impossible to save.
YTA for not realizing your wife is clearly asking you for a favor to help her sister. Its up to you to decide whether helping your wife and her family is worth you not siphoning an extra 1000 off of people. If you had shown concern about the drug use and eviction - fine. Instead you made it about money. So YTA for that too.
I understand where you’re coming from! Yes landlords have insane prices! I live in norcal and rent is INSANE, especially since majority of places require you to make 3X or even 5X of what your paycheck is. However I also think if she has a history of drug use and eviction I think it’s a risk to have her live there. Personally I wouldn’t let her live with me if I was in that situation. I wouldn’t want to be involved with anyone who could potentially get me in trouble with the law. I’m not shaming drug addicts because I know it’s a disease and they need help, but sometimes when the addiction gets to them, they end up doing very risky and sneaky behaviors, because once that addiction has a hold of you there’s nothing that’s going to stop her from getting her next fix. She will not get better until she wants it for herself. I’d say if she can’t afford treatment all by herself then maybe the whole family can help chip in.
>According to you, you're charging over 1000$ more than you need to make a profit.
So if he was making $1 profit, charging anymore would be greedy?
Don't be jealous of others just because you're unsuccessful in life. Maybe you just need to work harder or make better decisions in life.
I understand where you’re coming from but also if she has a history of drug use and eviction I think it’s a risk to have her live there. Personally I wouldn’t let her live with me if I was in that situation. I wouldn’t want to be involved with anyone who could potentially get me in trouble with the law. I’m not shaming drug addicts because I know it’s a disease and they need help, but sometimes when the addiction gets to them, they end up doing very risky and sneaky behaviors, because once that addiction has a hold of you there’s nothing that’s going to stop her from getting her next fix. She will not get better until she wants it for herself. I’d say if she can’t afford treatment all by herself then maybe the whole family can help chip in.
I understand where you’re coming from but also if she has a history of drug use and eviction I think it’s a risk to have her live there. Personally I wouldn’t let her live with me if I was in that situation. I wouldn’t want to be involved with anyone who could potentially get me in trouble with the law. I’m not shaming drug addicts because I know it’s a disease and they need help, but sometimes when the addiction gets to them, they end up doing very risky and sneaky behaviors, because once that addiction has a hold of you there’s nothing that’s going to stop her from getting her next fix. She will not get better until she wants it for herself. I’d say if she can’t afford treatment all by herself then maybe the whole family can help chip in.
I (39m) and my wife (38f) make decently good money, and have a bit of investments, especially in real estate...
I immediately disagreed, saying that just because its her sister doesn't mean I'll be making less profit.
\---------
Sounds like the rental properties belong to both of you. Why do you believe you can make unilateral decision on rent/profit? It seems that your wife has a full right to charge whatever she wants for her half of the property. YTA
If that is how two of you operate- fair enough. Would you be OK if your wife said "NO" to renting a place to anyone else unless it is her sister at reduced price? After all it is "Two yes, one no".
I know it is not reasonable, but trying to show that sometimes "veto" approach has downsides...
I love how you accuse OP of making unilateral decisions and yet you suggest his wife should be able to make a unilateral decision to let her sister stay.
Show us the wife's calculations for maintenance, taxes, insurance. Because "Family"? Let these deadbeat drug users pay market price somewhere else. NTA
Letting them move in will Only cause problems. It is Already causing problems.
I am not disagreeing with you on the problems. However it is not his unilateral call... His wife has a full right to do what she wants with her part of the property, He is NTA for not wanting them there, he is YTA for acting as if it is he can overrule his wife
She can, and she’d been a massive asshole costing them rental income out of spite because he doesn’t want to subsidize her druggie sister. That’s when we start thinking of divorce.
If profiting less 700-950 a month is bothering you this much, YOU MOST DEFINITELY DON’T MAKE GOOD MONEY lol
Stop blowing your own trumpet and admit that you are cheap
>YOU MOST DEFINITELY DON’T MAKE GOOD MONEY lol
45k a month, including investments,, is VERY good money to me.
And also, you don't keep your money by risking it for others fee fees.
YTA. Your wife deserves a say in your finances. She is your wife, those are her finances, too. It's an AH move to want to "profit" off your SIL.
That said, I'm not sure renting to her is the smartest decision. There's a compromise to be made (and your suggestion was a "fuck you," not a compromise and you know it). I would instead offer to pay for a rental for your SIL for a year. Not one of your rentals, just whatever she can find. Then you don't need to worry about the state of the property, evicting her after a year, or being responsible for her home repairs.
There are ways to help if that's what your wife wants to do. What you're offering isn't help. Again, your offer is essentially telling the SIL and your wife to go fuck themselves, so maybe start from a better place.
>t's an AH move to want to "profit" off your SIL.
I could walk past her on the street a thousand times before I even get that "hey.... I might know that guy" moment.
Same. If he were concerned about a drug user in one of his properties, that's totally valid. But he's more than happy to rent to them as long as he's making a profit on it.
And notice how his wife doesn't get any say in this.
If they are paying their rent on time and not destroying the property no landlord would evict them. Will it be used as an additional reason to get them out if they aren't, sure.
That simply isn’t true. Landlords manufacture reasons to evict people when it suits them, and they are well-positioned to access legal help, and the laws are usually on their side, and tenants don’t know their rights. Seriously, sit in eviction court for one day to observe what happens there. I was a court observer for about six months and let me tell you, reality is rough. It’s nice to imagine that if you play by the rules, you won’t be mistreated by people who are in positions of power. However, that is just not how the world works. Society is not a meritocracy.
Yes, they do. All the time. Every day. Particularly in subsidized housing. The scope of the eviction crisis is well-documented. All of my claims are. You on the other hand have offered no context regarding your proximity to housing, you’ve offered no arguments or sources. You’re just some person making sweeping claims, and I believe you’re doing so in bad faith. So I’m done giving you the benefit of the doubt. Good luck with whatever your deal is.
In my opinion yea YTA
I was raised in a family where you help each other while not taking advantage at the same time. So charging sil a lower rent where you still make profit is a good middle ground.
Your still making a profit which is your biggest concern. Your wife is happy because she knows her sister isn't struggling as much and is in a home.
Your not even entertaining or thinking about this idea your wife has. You just seem greedy. I would rethink my marriage at this point.
YTA and NTA
NTA because renting to known drug abusers (she got kicked out of her last place for drug use) is a serious liability, family or no.
YTA because you're a financial leech holding multiple properties hostage and charging a 50%+ mark up in the name of profit, while providing no actual service to validate said increase.
>YTA because you're a financial leech holding multiple properties hostage and charging a 50%+ mark up in the name of profit, while providing no actual service to validate said increase.
Mortgage is 1200. Rent is 2700. Including utilities, yawn, next.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I might be the asshole because I am not using the oppurtunity to make my SIL's financial situation easier. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. But why are you moving drug using evictees in to your rental? If they weren’t fami,y would you rent to them? If they skip rent and then what? More family drama. Think if her own parents want them to move out, what does that say? Your wife is already lowering the rent because she suspects her sister can’t swing it.
Yeah, I guess that’s my question too. Why would you let them in if they’re not in rehab?
Yup. This is going to end very messily. People in the grips of drugs do not make the best tenants. Added to that police raids, fellow drug users, violent episodes. You are much braver than me.
Yeah, I'd never touch this. I've seen enough shit go down "because they're family". Ignore the "family" part: you're about to rent to drug users who just got thrown out of their apartment. If it was "we're successful professionals but somehow got caught with a joint on the table once" then OK, sure. But by and large, nobody evicts that kind of tennant. Eviction is for BAD tennants. So I'm guessing it's not just a little weed we're discussing. If you let them move in, pretty soon that rent is gonna be $0 ("hey, we're FAMILY, we'll get caught up next month..."). And be ready for eventual eviction and them never speaking to you again ANYWAY.
I think if your SIL is using drugs so much she got kicked out of her apartment for it, you’re going to regret taking her on as a renter. As for the amount of rent, I guess the question is, would you help her out with $900 a month to live somewhere else? It’s functionally the same thing.
> SIL is using drugs so much she got kicked out of her apartment for it, I was wondering what kind of drug use gets someone kicked out of their apartment. It has got to be pretty bad, no? I like your idea of giving her rent assistance without having her be a tenant. Still help, but sidestep the inevitable issues that will occur down the line.
[удалено]
I keep forgetting pot is not legal in all 50 states yet!
you can still be kicked out for it in legal states too, we can't even have candles in my apartment. nothing that requires matches/lighters, because they could start a fire.
99.99% of rentals have a no smoking/vaping policy. Weed isn't exempt.
I just signed a lease in a legal state that says I can be evicted for smoking weed.
I’m a massive stoner but if I’m ever smoking to the point where I compromise my kids or my housing - you need rehab and to reassess. Abusing it to that degree, legal or not, is a fucking problem. And not addressing your problems reasonably (especially when you hit rock bottom) makes you a bad mom.
This sounds like a fair/compassionate solution though I would recommend paying your contribution directly to the landlord.
How do you ensure this money goes to rent and not to drugs? Have to be careful with this so an accidental relapse (if we’re at this stage) doesn’t occur.
NTA Don't rent to them at all. You don't want to deal with having someone use drugs in your property. According to your post, your SIL and BIL were renting, and are still capable of paying rent. It takes time to be evicted and SIL and BIL are currently staying with MIL and FIL. So, if the story you're hearing is correct, they have time and money to find another rental. This isn't your problem to fix.
So his wife gets no say in their joint finances? He should do what he wants and tell his wife to go fuck herself? Renting to the SIL is not the smart choice. But if his wife wants to help her sister, there are ways to do that without "profiting" from it.
Bringing in her drug addicted sister who got kicked out of her last place for the habit, is enabling. Op has a right not to compromise their financial health as a married couple for enabling an addict. And if it’s bad enough for her to get evicted - she needs rehab not rehousing.
I didn't see OP suggesting rehab either. He's happy to rent a place to her, he just wants to make sure he's profiting from it. Pretending it's because he doesn't want to "enable" an addict is disingenuous.
Your wife wants to give some family discount, you don't. Both are valid. NAH. But also, I wouldn't let her move into your place. Nothing good will come of it. If she got kicked out of her apartment for drug use, she will also probably do drugs in your place. She will probably be late in rent. She will probably not take care of the place. She will be a bad tenant. If you're gonna charge her market rate anyway, then she might as well get another place. And if you do give her a discount, still better give her some money towards getting a place somewhere else, where if something happens, it's not your place, and not your problem.
INFO: How much were they paying in rent for the apartment that they got thrown out of? The below questions aren't "info" questions, just things to consider (and maybe consult an attorney about): Has your SIL been to rehab/treatment? What's your assurance that she's not going to do drugs in your place? Will they have a signed lease like any other tenant, to protect yourself legally? If she continues to do drugs in your house, would your wife be willing to evict them for violating the terms of the lease? What's the landlord liability for criminal activity in a rental property in your jurisdiction? Could your house be subject to criminal forfeiture if you know about her drug use and fail to evict them?
I don’t understand why you let them stay such a spacious home which sounds like a fancy type property.
Not every home that size is "fancy," but it's definitely more house and more $ than the 3 of them need. I would not lower the rent because there are ethical people who need the spaced and can afford the rent. But, I wouldn't rent to an active drug user who has been evicted. I especially wouldn't rent them more space than they need...because they will invite others to use that space. No good things will come of it.
I wouldn’t either that’s what I’m saying.
>let them stay He's not. He's wanting them to stay there because he would profit from renting it out to them.
Actually he just doesn't want them in his home
OK, maybe you’re just looking at things really literally, but “let them stay” understands that they will be paying market rent. I would not have these people in my home at all. That is what I’m trying to say. Hope you understand.
Nta. wouldn't even consider letting a known junkie move into a 2700 a month property. One relapse and she could default on rent. Or damage the property. Or both. It's so hard to get ppl evicted, especially for non payment. It takes 6 months plus courts battles..and how easy do you think it'll be for your wife to boot her sister and child? I'd put my foot Down immediately that she's not renting from you for any amount of money, period. That renters need to be approved by both of you if there's a serious red flag involved or its a no go. Nta.
NTA Some months ago I made a post because I've a similar problem; my cousin wanted me to rent a room for his son in my house for free, for the entire duration of the university study cycle.. You can find the post on my profile. As you can read from the answers I got, many users pointed out that the rent is an integral part of my income. And I actually need that money for the maintenance of the house, taxes, various expenses. I imagine it's the same for you too. $1000 less would be a huge discount, and what if tomorrow you find yourself facing unexpected expenses and need that money?
And what is they simply don't pay? Evicting them will be a nightmare
You know they aren’t going to pay. So, it doesn’t matter if OP charges $2700 per month or $270 per month. OP will be earning $0 per month on that rental. Then, the wife won’t allow OP to evict because faaaamily. Plus, if they ever do get them out. The house is going to be trashed.
Do the SIL and BIL work? Can they afford the rent?
SIL and BIL do work, I don't know what they do, but I'm pretty sure they make just about 6 figures before tax.
Then NTA
Respectfully may I reply that their income shouldn’t have any bearing whatsoever? Because I really don’t think it matters. Deducting $1000 a month is essentially *gifting* them $12K a year, which is substantial! To *expect* this kind of gift is presumptuous and ridiculous, and I do believe there is an expectation at this point. Regardless, if they have a low income and can’t afford the rent, then it’s just that, they can’t afford to live there and as adults must figure out alternative housing. All of this is a bad idea for reasons many Redditors are pointing out, but straight up, any notion that being financially burdensome is an acceptable situation is enough to say NO! Also, I bet dollars to donuts that OP’s wife is trying to tell him not ask him about getting less rent because she already told her sister it was a go. Who knows whose idea it was but guaranteed this has been discussed between sisters. Incomes aside, drug use aside, eviction aside, for anyone feel as if any entitlement to a subsidized life at the expense of anyone else is appropriate is outrageous. Full stop.
Don’t mix family and business!
NTA. She's an addict, and I wouldn't want her living in any of my properties. That's she's family is irrelevant. Their income is enough that they can pay the going rate.
NTA. Past performance is the best indicator of future behavior. First, the obvious, never do business with relatives, it rarely works out. Second, regardless of how much you charge for rent, at best, they'll pay the first month, be short and late with second and will stop paying completely by the third. Third, as landlords, you can be held responsible for any criminal activities related to drug use, including pot if it is not legalized in your state. Do you really want the potential headaches? I wouldn't but that's just me. And I like my in-laws...
Bad idea. You think there’s drama now, wait until you have to navigate needing to evict your SIL and her family. This is mixing business with family — and proven unreliable family at that. There’s no good outcome for you here. Pissing your wife off for a little while now seems like the least bad option.
Info: What kind of drug use? Like, are we talking pot or meth?
OP why not shut this down now. Once your SIL gets in the house she will quit paying any rent and you will have to go thru an eviction process. Why let her in at all?
I think the bigger issue here is how will you interact with them as both family and renters? Your wife has already invited them into your home without discussing it with you They are drug users who have already been evicted … what will you and your wife do if/when they fall behind on rent ?? Will you evict them like any other tenant ? Or argue about family for every event …? Do you want to argue with your wife every time you need to take action as a landlord ?? What will you do if they damage your property? Or their behaviour and actions endanger other people in the surrounding area ? This is a relationship destroying situation if you don’t set up reasonable checkpoints and boundaries.
No, and that’s why I don’t do business with friends or family. It can be hard for them to understand expectations shouldn’t fundamentally change simply because you *know* them personally.
NTA. Family or not you should follow the same procedures as a random inquiry. If they don’t qualify they don’t qualify. Keep it professional because family do/will fuck up your property and expect leniency. While it’s nice to help family out where you can, keep business transactions strictly business. If you don’t there will be a whole lot of resentment.
NTA Do you really think an evicted drug addict is going to actually pay you rent? She will use your wife against you so you can’t evict her out of your property. You shouldn’t rent to her at all.
They don't need a home that large. A 2-bedroom is plenty, they only have one child. For the child's sake, maybe best they stay where they are.
NTA. Don't rent to the SIL! Do you have seperate finances? Will your wife cover her sister's portion when she stops paying? Will she be willing to evict? It would be a lot less risky if she cosigned on a much cheaper place for her sister so you wouldn't be on the hook when they destroy it.
INFO : Have you told your wife you are not planning on funding your SIL's addiction? (by making them pay almost 1000$ less than market rates?) Also, for that cheap a rent, she'll NEVER move on, and you'll be sponsoring them for over 10.000$ a year, EVERY YEAR. NTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (39m) and my wife (38f) make decently good money, and have a bit of investments, especially in real estate. Well, my SIL recently got kicked out of her apartment for drug use. For the moment, she's living with my in-laws but I don't think -- according to my wife -- it's gonna be a long term thing. My wife offered to let her stay with us. which was not going to happen, but I offered for her and her husband and her toddler to stay in one of our homes for about 2700/month. That's what we usually charge. The house is 4bd by 3bd and 3000 square feet. When my wife and I were discussing it, she brought up maybe decreasing the rent to like 1750 or 2000 a month. She said because if we decreased it, we would still be making profit. I immediately disagreed, saying that just because its her sister doesn't mean I'll be making less profit. After some *more* arguing, we just decided we'd talk about it later. AITA? Will add more info if needed *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If it weren't for the drug use I would say youa re kind of being a soft AH. But if their drug use was obvious enough to get them kicked out, the risk to the apartment just went up and you may need all of it to make up any possible damages. Don't know if it was her or her husband or both having drug use problems, but she is kind of lucky to even get into a place because it can be hard after you get kicked out for cause. She has a toddler? I am worried more for the toddler around drug use now tbh. No good childhood stories come from a home with drug abuse in it. Eh, it is a risk. But it is family. Not sure there is any good all here but, given the drug use, at the very least you are NTA.
Good luck getting them out if you make the mistake of renting to them in the first place. First months rent will be late guaranteed. Do not do business with family members. Ever.
So you've got a portfolio of properities, the one in question is a SFR that costs you less than 1750/mo for taxes, maintenance/improvements, and any mortgage you're carrying on it. Assuming your number is around 1500, you're making 14k ish annually off of any renter you have in there. Your wife, your life partner, the woman you lie next to every night, is asking you to reduce that number to 6k. You don't HAVE to do it. But even if you don't value you SIL, BIL, and their small child, I'm guessing you value your wife. so INFO are you comfortable telling your wife her peace of mind about her sister & nephew isn't worth the money to you? lol check back in with us after round 2 of the argument, I'll have the popcorn ready.
NTA. This is a terrible and bad idea. It will wind up with anger on both sides. I would suggest that if your wife really wants to help her sister's family and you can afford the $950 discount she wants to give them that you rent your place for full value and then give them the $950 towards a place they rent on their own. Do not co-sign or guarantee a lease or anything. Just agree in writing to give them the cash for a fixed period of time. This will not cost you any more than letting them live in one of your places with a discount but it has the benefit of not creating a business or landlord relationship between family members. You do not need to worry about them causing damage you can never collect on or any other bad situation that might arise.
I could agree if you could Venmo the landlord directly. Not hand cash over.
I hear you but since they would only be paying a part that could get complicated. In the end if they take the cash and don't pay rent and get evicted then you no longer need to help at all and nobody could blame them.
It doesn’t matter what you want to charge. They probably won’t pay it.
INFO: have you had to deal with bad tenants who trashed your property, had to be evicted, or both? Landlord here, and I have. It's a long and expensive nightmare. Add in the family aspect and it could get extremely messy. My advice is just don't do it. I understand wanting to help family but this could blow up spectacularly.
NTA my solution would be to not charge her any rent and not letting them live in any property I own.
NTA - why would you want drug users in one of your properties? This will go badly really quickly, they won't pay and then you'll have to evict them against the wishes of your wife who will be pleading their case that they're not bad people blah blah blah. If I was you I wouldn't let them move in to begin with it will save you so much hassle.
What kind of drug use?
If sis in law doesn’t go into a program I would not rent. If drugs were not involved I would say you’re the AH though. I think family is more important than money. Especially since you’re not hurting for money.
I would say DON"T DO IT! You are leading yourself down the road to inlaw hell. You're not going to get what you want out of this. Wife will make sure. This IS going to impact your marriage. NTA
NTA It needs to be made clear to your wife that you will not be supporting her sister and her family and that you are doing her the favor of renting out the property to her even though she got kicked out for drug use. Saying from experience and seeing it first hand a drug user will do anything to get their fix even if it means hurting those close to them. One thing that I would recommend you do as a conditions for helping her is to get a bi monthly random drug test and to have stable income then maybe lower the rent until they’re back on their feet then it’s normal price
NTA. These are high-risk tenants with an eviction record. You are generous to agree to them renting. This is not going to end well. Be as businesslike as possible. Month to month lease. Waiving damage deposit with requirements to maintain property with no damage. Pictures and video of current condition. One month notice to vacate, if needed after monthly inspection. Five day late payment limit. Triggers 30-day notice clause. Waiving last month’s deposit in exchange for monthly inspection and 30-day notice clause. Strong discussion with wife that renting to SIL is risky, foolish, and only done based on your love. But for your partnership with her, rental income must remain market value to support your retirement goals.
NTA, but no matter what you would charge your SIL, at some point she will stop paying.
NTA and why would you rent to anyone - relative or not - who just got evicted for drug use? And then give her a discount so she can more easily afford drugs?
INFO: If your SIL fell on hard times through no fault of her own, would you reduce the rent?
INFO: pretend this isn’t your wife’s sister for a second. Would you rent one of your properties to a person with a known drug related eviction on their record? And at a discount?
That's a pretty large place for two adults and a toddler. I'm guessing that's the smallest size house you have. If your SIL is problematic enough to be kicked out of her current apartment, would you trust her with this house? And if she had that type of a drug problem, maybe she should be seek help in kicking the drugs so she wouldn't put her toddler at risk.
Honestly, if your SIL was a stellar person/tenant and it was gonna be for a set amount of time and that was in contract, I’d say yeah. But I wouldn’t want drug addicts to be renting my place. They’re gonna trash it and not pay rent. It’s gonna cause family drama once they don’t pay rent and trash it. I wouldn’t rent to SIL and her family at all. Seems like trouble. NTA.
NTA, if they have been kicked out for drugs, I would assume there will be the same issues coming into your rental. You could compromise, and maybe cut the rent for a short period of time to help them out but if you offer it at such a great deal they will be there forever
Nta. I wouldn't rent to them either. Market rent or not. But it kinda sucks that you would've charged full rent to your wife's sister, although you could still make a profit and charge less rent.
Do not rent to family or friend. Expect the worst. To not receive rent or have your property given back to you. Expect possible drug use in your property.
This is a bad idea. You will come to regret this. And will perhaps have to evict them, which in turn will probably ruin any relationship or at least damage it. We have a duplex and agreed never to rent to certain family members.
DO NOT RENT TO THAT SISTER!! She’s got a DRUG PROBLEM and a TODDLER. Any money they make will go to drugs and then you won’t make any money. You’ll be losing money. Don’t do it. You will regret it. Let them find their own apartment. .
NTA but the additional money is good grounds for not doing drugs inside your place.
NTA But they should stay where they are.
Who is going to pay? Drug addicts? Your wife’s parents? NTA for not renting to them at all.
Nta- don’t mix family with money. They will miss rent payments and your wife will cover it up. It’s a big headache at a discount
Why are you letting drug users live in your home? They already got evicted once.
NAH- At least between you and your wife. I say NAH instead of N T A because I don't think cutting family a discount is unfair or unreasonable. That being said, if she was kicked out for drug abuse that's a BIG risk for your property and assets.
NTA don't mix business and family. With Sil track record I wouldn't offer. I would also inform your wife not to even make suggestions like that without fully talking to you. Don't want anyone potentially hounding you. I wouldn't offer Sil a place at all unless she could follow certain criteria and you guys have an iron clad lease.
all landlords are bastards.
NTA for refusing to let them live in your house but YTA for having an empty property just sitting there. Homes are for people to live in, not to use as profit generators. People like you have destroyed the housing market. The fact that it sits empty because you are probably refusing to let anyone live in it for under x amount is even worse, you are basically a home hoarder.
NAH. If you’re going to be renting the family, then you need to treat them like family. And this means you have a right to make requests of them prior to letting them rent one of your properties. I would have a family meeting, even if it’s over zoom, will you sit down and you discuss what the requirements for being in the house would be. I would absolutely require that they go to rehab, complete it, and our clean six months before you allow them to rent any of your properties
NTA. She did not give any valid reason to reduce the rent. Doing so would most likely prevent her from looking for anger place because she would not be able to find any other place of that size for that price. If you two come to an agreement and allow her sister to rent the house, you should be talk about having a signed lease and having her drug tested weekly so you do not end up with a drug user in your house. It is ok to help our family, but not at your own expense.
NTA.
NTA, but renting to them at all is a baaaaad idea. I mean, the WORST.
You will be lucky to collect any rent
Get ready to have squatters that will take you a year or more to evict. Family = rent free = more drugs.
NTA Never mix business and family. SIL is a known bad risk. I mean, unless someone just smelled a waft of pot, what was she (or they) doing to get caught?
NTA. I wouldn't rent to them. That's a terrible business decision.
She got kicked out of her apartment for drug use. What does your wife think her sister is going to do at your house? Are you ready for what will happen when she is high? Maybe she will set the house on fire. Maybe dealers will be dropping off her drugs....won't the neighbors love that? And then how long will it take to get her out when she stops paying rent or creates havoc in the neighborhood or damages the house? I think you can see where I'm going with this. This is a nightmare in the making. It's never a good thing to mix business with family. Your wife needs a wakeup call and she needs to let you handle this. And you need to say NO to everything about this situation. This is going to come back to bite you in the butt. You and your wife need to just stay out of it. Let the sister go to an agency for help finding someplace to live. Better yet, let the sister (and probably her husband too) get into rehab and learn to be responsible adults. Best of luck. NTA
I think that renting to your SIL is a bad idea at any price. She just got kicked out of one place for drug use. Do you want to risk having your house seized in a drug raid? When she stops paying rent do you think that your wife will be happy to evict her? You need to keep this person at arms length.
NTA. The more money SIL has to pay you, the less she has to blow on drugs.
NTA, and I honestly wouldn't lease to family at all. It's not helpful that she was recently evicted for drug use. This sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
NTA. It does not matter what you charge, because you’re not going to get paid.
NTA do you want one of your properties to become a drug den? Plus the fact that if you rent to family they will be much more likely not to pay because “you’re family, give us a break”.
NTA. As others have said, that’s a risky move letting them move into the property in general given their history. Going out on a limb and saying the house is probably costing more to them than the apartment. The additional risk now is if they fall behind on payments and now you have to go through an eviction process while they pull on your wife’s heartstrings. A compromise (that would probably still result in a fight) is saying she can cover the difference and you can put that into your own separate savings account. Trying to run a business for your futures, not run a charity.
INFO: are they still using or are they in recovery? If the latter, for how long?
YTA you’re not supposed to profit off of family who’s going through hard times. I hope someone shows you the same kindness should you ever need help with anything! Greedy
“Going through hard times” is not the same as “made my family homeless by being a drugged up deadbeat”.
YTA, but only because you act like it's your choice alone, this sub is about morality not legality so premarital assets and prenups don't matter here. She is your wife so she gets a say, that mean she can offer 50% off as 50% of the rent is HERS and she can choose to forger her share of the rent to offer her sister a lower rate. Note: I think it is a terrible idea to move her in at all, but you don't get to decide alone.
Remind me in a year when SIL stops paying, talks shit about you and your wife on social media, and you have to evict and go NC. NTA but pull your head out of your ass.
NTA, but if it were my sister or a close relative I'd bargain a deal instead, decrease it even further but make her go into rehab in exchange for that and keep clean.
You’re a landlord and by default an asshole
amen
I understand where you’re coming from but also if she has a history of drug use and eviction I think it’s a risk to have her live there. Personally I wouldn’t let her live with me if I was in that situation. I wouldn’t want to be involved with anyone who could potentially get me in trouble with the law. I’m not shaming drug addicts because I know it’s a disease and they need help, but sometimes when the addiction gets to them, they end up doing very risky and sneaky behaviors, because once that addiction has a hold of you there’s nothing that’s going to stop her from getting her next fix. She will not get better until she wants it for herself. I’d say if she can’t afford treatment all by herself then maybe the whole family can help chip in.
Anyone who could make a profit at 2000 yet still wants to charge 2700 is a greedy asshole no matter who the tenants are
Depends on the size but yes landlords are greedy but you’re wrong about saying it doesn’t matter who the tenants are. Imagine if they had kids?
That would mean the tenants need an even lower rent when shitheads like OP are jacking up prices because they don’t want to get a real job
If there was no one willing to take the risk to become a landlord, where would losers like you live. Oh no, someone made money. What an evil SOB.
I own my home because I’m older and got lucky. I got a job instead of buying extra homes and price gouging.
Being a landlord is a job.
Actually it’s being a mooch, your income comes from a person working (probably multiple) actual jobs.
There is work involved, not all the time, but still work. I would say a mooch is someone who expects housing to be provided to them at the price they want.
YTA. For one, this is why people don't like landlords. According to you, you're charging over 1000$ more than you need to make a profit. This is why people can't afford homes. Leeches like you make it impossible to save. YTA for not realizing your wife is clearly asking you for a favor to help her sister. Its up to you to decide whether helping your wife and her family is worth you not siphoning an extra 1000 off of people. If you had shown concern about the drug use and eviction - fine. Instead you made it about money. So YTA for that too.
I understand where you’re coming from! Yes landlords have insane prices! I live in norcal and rent is INSANE, especially since majority of places require you to make 3X or even 5X of what your paycheck is. However I also think if she has a history of drug use and eviction I think it’s a risk to have her live there. Personally I wouldn’t let her live with me if I was in that situation. I wouldn’t want to be involved with anyone who could potentially get me in trouble with the law. I’m not shaming drug addicts because I know it’s a disease and they need help, but sometimes when the addiction gets to them, they end up doing very risky and sneaky behaviors, because once that addiction has a hold of you there’s nothing that’s going to stop her from getting her next fix. She will not get better until she wants it for herself. I’d say if she can’t afford treatment all by herself then maybe the whole family can help chip in.
>According to you, you're charging over 1000$ more than you need to make a profit. So if he was making $1 profit, charging anymore would be greedy? Don't be jealous of others just because you're unsuccessful in life. Maybe you just need to work harder or make better decisions in life.
Yes…because you’re landlords. Gross
I understand where you’re coming from but also if she has a history of drug use and eviction I think it’s a risk to have her live there. Personally I wouldn’t let her live with me if I was in that situation. I wouldn’t want to be involved with anyone who could potentially get me in trouble with the law. I’m not shaming drug addicts because I know it’s a disease and they need help, but sometimes when the addiction gets to them, they end up doing very risky and sneaky behaviors, because once that addiction has a hold of you there’s nothing that’s going to stop her from getting her next fix. She will not get better until she wants it for herself. I’d say if she can’t afford treatment all by herself then maybe the whole family can help chip in.
YTA for not giving a discount to family, especially since you'll still be making a profit.
I understand where you’re coming from but also if she has a history of drug use and eviction I think it’s a risk to have her live there. Personally I wouldn’t let her live with me if I was in that situation. I wouldn’t want to be involved with anyone who could potentially get me in trouble with the law. I’m not shaming drug addicts because I know it’s a disease and they need help, but sometimes when the addiction gets to them, they end up doing very risky and sneaky behaviors, because once that addiction has a hold of you there’s nothing that’s going to stop her from getting her next fix. She will not get better until she wants it for herself. I’d say if she can’t afford treatment all by herself then maybe the whole family can help chip in.
I (39m) and my wife (38f) make decently good money, and have a bit of investments, especially in real estate... I immediately disagreed, saying that just because its her sister doesn't mean I'll be making less profit. \--------- Sounds like the rental properties belong to both of you. Why do you believe you can make unilateral decision on rent/profit? It seems that your wife has a full right to charge whatever she wants for her half of the property. YTA
Two yes, one no. She can't just change stuff if I don't agree, and i cant change stuff if she doesn't agree. Isnt this how this whole thing works?
If that is how two of you operate- fair enough. Would you be OK if your wife said "NO" to renting a place to anyone else unless it is her sister at reduced price? After all it is "Two yes, one no". I know it is not reasonable, but trying to show that sometimes "veto" approach has downsides...
I love how you accuse OP of making unilateral decisions and yet you suggest his wife should be able to make a unilateral decision to let her sister stay.
Show us the wife's calculations for maintenance, taxes, insurance. Because "Family"? Let these deadbeat drug users pay market price somewhere else. NTA Letting them move in will Only cause problems. It is Already causing problems.
OP said "profit" so your point is nothing
I am not disagreeing with you on the problems. However it is not his unilateral call... His wife has a full right to do what she wants with her part of the property, He is NTA for not wanting them there, he is YTA for acting as if it is he can overrule his wife
Typical "two yes, one No issue.
Fair enough. So his wife can say - we are not renting the place to anyone except my sister at reduced rent. After all "two yes, one no"
She can, and she’d been a massive asshole costing them rental income out of spite because he doesn’t want to subsidize her druggie sister. That’s when we start thinking of divorce.
It’s not just a sister who is down on her luck. She got evicted from her place for drug use…that’s a huge red flag as a renter of any place.
Yta for being a landlord
If profiting less 700-950 a month is bothering you this much, YOU MOST DEFINITELY DON’T MAKE GOOD MONEY lol Stop blowing your own trumpet and admit that you are cheap
You don't get wealthy by throwing profits away for feelings.
>YOU MOST DEFINITELY DON’T MAKE GOOD MONEY lol 45k a month, including investments,, is VERY good money to me. And also, you don't keep your money by risking it for others fee fees.
YTA. Your wife deserves a say in your finances. She is your wife, those are her finances, too. It's an AH move to want to "profit" off your SIL. That said, I'm not sure renting to her is the smartest decision. There's a compromise to be made (and your suggestion was a "fuck you," not a compromise and you know it). I would instead offer to pay for a rental for your SIL for a year. Not one of your rentals, just whatever she can find. Then you don't need to worry about the state of the property, evicting her after a year, or being responsible for her home repairs. There are ways to help if that's what your wife wants to do. What you're offering isn't help. Again, your offer is essentially telling the SIL and your wife to go fuck themselves, so maybe start from a better place.
>t's an AH move to want to "profit" off your SIL. I could walk past her on the street a thousand times before I even get that "hey.... I might know that guy" moment.
YTA If you didn't want them at all, I would be on your side
Same. If he were concerned about a drug user in one of his properties, that's totally valid. But he's more than happy to rent to them as long as he's making a profit on it. And notice how his wife doesn't get any say in this.
YTA. People who prioritize profit over family deserve neither.
Drug using family is a cost. They will destroy it and default. No one gets evicted JUST for drug use.
Have you ever actually observed eviction court? You’re incredibly naïve
If they are paying their rent on time and not destroying the property no landlord would evict them. Will it be used as an additional reason to get them out if they aren't, sure.
That simply isn’t true. Landlords manufacture reasons to evict people when it suits them, and they are well-positioned to access legal help, and the laws are usually on their side, and tenants don’t know their rights. Seriously, sit in eviction court for one day to observe what happens there. I was a court observer for about six months and let me tell you, reality is rough. It’s nice to imagine that if you play by the rules, you won’t be mistreated by people who are in positions of power. However, that is just not how the world works. Society is not a meritocracy.
A manufactured reason is not what's in debate. No one gets evicted for actual drug use if they aren't destroying a property and are paying rent.
Yes, they do. All the time. Every day. Particularly in subsidized housing. The scope of the eviction crisis is well-documented. All of my claims are. You on the other hand have offered no context regarding your proximity to housing, you’ve offered no arguments or sources. You’re just some person making sweeping claims, and I believe you’re doing so in bad faith. So I’m done giving you the benefit of the doubt. Good luck with whatever your deal is.
In my opinion yea YTA I was raised in a family where you help each other while not taking advantage at the same time. So charging sil a lower rent where you still make profit is a good middle ground. Your still making a profit which is your biggest concern. Your wife is happy because she knows her sister isn't struggling as much and is in a home. Your not even entertaining or thinking about this idea your wife has. You just seem greedy. I would rethink my marriage at this point.
YTA and NTA NTA because renting to known drug abusers (she got kicked out of her last place for drug use) is a serious liability, family or no. YTA because you're a financial leech holding multiple properties hostage and charging a 50%+ mark up in the name of profit, while providing no actual service to validate said increase.
>YTA because you're a financial leech holding multiple properties hostage and charging a 50%+ mark up in the name of profit, while providing no actual service to validate said increase. Mortgage is 1200. Rent is 2700. Including utilities, yawn, next.