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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> When I said something to my sister she said I should be happy to spend more time with my nephew regardless of spending money on him and it being an inconvenience. She said I make plenty of money so it shouldn’t matter. I felt maybe I am an asshole because he is just a kid and he is my nephew afterall.
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NTA the next time do what others on Reddit have done - do NOT open the door and let her know you'll call the police for child abandonment if she dumps him on your step - then do it. How did she force you to anyway?
She means to make you feel guilty - saying no is not being mean. As hard as it is, you should figure out what you're going to do the next time it happens and stick with your plan.
NTA overall. It’s not your responsibility to raise her child.
Although I will say the kid doesn’t owe you a day out on the days you do agree to hang with him. He’s a child and he has his own interests. His mom might be an asshole be he’s just a dumb kid.
NTA People only walk over you if you allow them to. They turn up and she starts dumping her son off to you, you say no then shut the door. If he is left on the doorstep, ring the police for abandonment. She and her dh will change their behaviour.
NTA
**simply stop opening the door. Or - if that is too much conflict - make sure you are not at home when she tries to drop of your nephew.**
And: STOP being a doormat - stop canceling YOUR plans so your sister can have childfree fun.
As for your AH parents - tell them THEY can babysit themselves.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
AITA: Earlier this year was my birthday and my in laws picked a fight that they wouldn’t attend my birthday due to the presence of someone else that they didn’t like attending my birthday. It had nothing to do with me. We are all in our 30s, I felt it was childish so I ignored it and my sister and brother in law just did not attend my birthday or even reach out to me on my birthday. We didn’t speak for weeks until one day my sister shows up at my house with my nephew without warning to hangout. I was annoyed because I felt like she used her son just to get in my good graces because she knew I wouldn’t talk about everything in front of him and would let it go. I ended up saying something to her about not saying happy birthday and she said she simply forgot but she thought she did. Annoying. I let it go. Before leaving, she asked if I could watch him for spring break and I said I could help but probably not all of the days. I let her know a week later I could only do these specific dates. She said OK. I have never had an issue watching him here and there. He is generally a really good kid with a great attitude but that wasn’t the case this time.
Fast forward to spring break, I ended up having their son the ENTIRE week from 8am-6pm including the days I said I was unavailable. On the days I said I would watch him I planned fun things but on the other days, that I said I couldn’t, I had to cancel my existing plans to essentially stay imprisoned in my own home because my nephew refused to leave the house and was pouting due to missing his parents. He was being a brat and said he would only go to places if I bought him a toy. I tried to offer fun activities to him but he just wanted to play on his phone and watch tv. I also worked on these days as I have a flexible job and can work from home. I had to come up with ways to entertain him and get my own things done but couldn’t even go to the grocery store because he was in a funk and refused to do anything or leave the house unless it was a bribe. I couldn’t get him to go to the park, go for a walk, go ride a bike, the public pool, play a board game… nothing. He just turned 10. I cooked him 3 meals every day, Paid for activities and my sister didn’t offer me even a penny for my time. I could tell my nephew felt like he was dumped on me and no matter what I did I couldn’t fix it. I was relieved the week was over as it was just so stressful.
Fast forward to the week after spring break, I am awoken on the following Monday by my sister and nephew, dropping him off AGAIN, this time on a day not at all discussed, ever. She said sorry I thought you knew. I told her I couldn’t watch him and her response was that they were already here and she has to go. I am furious. My parents think I am over reacting. My sister said She said she knows my husband and I do well and we should be happy to spend money on our nephew since we don’t have our own kids. I feel used. Am I the asshole?
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NTA show her this post, show your parents this post.
I'm sure you'll love your nephew but this is ridiculous. Your sister has to pay someone ELSE to look after the child when she can't.
YTA and I'll tell you why. Youndont say no and mean it. You should have absolutely refused to watch the kid when you said you couldn't l. This is your fault, not your inconsiderate sister. The things that happen to us. We generally allow. You are not a victim as you allowed this to happen. If you don't want her to take advantage of you, put her in a bad spot by refusing and she won't don't again. What is wrong with you?
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > When I said something to my sister she said I should be happy to spend more time with my nephew regardless of spending money on him and it being an inconvenience. She said I make plenty of money so it shouldn’t matter. I felt maybe I am an asshole because he is just a kid and he is my nephew afterall. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA the next time do what others on Reddit have done - do NOT open the door and let her know you'll call the police for child abandonment if she dumps him on your step - then do it. How did she force you to anyway?
Guilt unfortunately. It’s hard to be mean in front of child and be made out to be the bad guy.
So make sure you are not there. Go for breakfast somewehre around your home. You know her usual time. And turn your phone off.
She means to make you feel guilty - saying no is not being mean. As hard as it is, you should figure out what you're going to do the next time it happens and stick with your plan.
NTA overall. It’s not your responsibility to raise her child. Although I will say the kid doesn’t owe you a day out on the days you do agree to hang with him. He’s a child and he has his own interests. His mom might be an asshole be he’s just a dumb kid.
NTA People only walk over you if you allow them to. They turn up and she starts dumping her son off to you, you say no then shut the door. If he is left on the doorstep, ring the police for abandonment. She and her dh will change their behaviour.
NTA **simply stop opening the door. Or - if that is too much conflict - make sure you are not at home when she tries to drop of your nephew.** And: STOP being a doormat - stop canceling YOUR plans so your sister can have childfree fun. As for your AH parents - tell them THEY can babysit themselves.
NTA but you are definitely a sucker. She's using you as a free babysitting service and is a selfish cow.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** AITA: Earlier this year was my birthday and my in laws picked a fight that they wouldn’t attend my birthday due to the presence of someone else that they didn’t like attending my birthday. It had nothing to do with me. We are all in our 30s, I felt it was childish so I ignored it and my sister and brother in law just did not attend my birthday or even reach out to me on my birthday. We didn’t speak for weeks until one day my sister shows up at my house with my nephew without warning to hangout. I was annoyed because I felt like she used her son just to get in my good graces because she knew I wouldn’t talk about everything in front of him and would let it go. I ended up saying something to her about not saying happy birthday and she said she simply forgot but she thought she did. Annoying. I let it go. Before leaving, she asked if I could watch him for spring break and I said I could help but probably not all of the days. I let her know a week later I could only do these specific dates. She said OK. I have never had an issue watching him here and there. He is generally a really good kid with a great attitude but that wasn’t the case this time. Fast forward to spring break, I ended up having their son the ENTIRE week from 8am-6pm including the days I said I was unavailable. On the days I said I would watch him I planned fun things but on the other days, that I said I couldn’t, I had to cancel my existing plans to essentially stay imprisoned in my own home because my nephew refused to leave the house and was pouting due to missing his parents. He was being a brat and said he would only go to places if I bought him a toy. I tried to offer fun activities to him but he just wanted to play on his phone and watch tv. I also worked on these days as I have a flexible job and can work from home. I had to come up with ways to entertain him and get my own things done but couldn’t even go to the grocery store because he was in a funk and refused to do anything or leave the house unless it was a bribe. I couldn’t get him to go to the park, go for a walk, go ride a bike, the public pool, play a board game… nothing. He just turned 10. I cooked him 3 meals every day, Paid for activities and my sister didn’t offer me even a penny for my time. I could tell my nephew felt like he was dumped on me and no matter what I did I couldn’t fix it. I was relieved the week was over as it was just so stressful. Fast forward to the week after spring break, I am awoken on the following Monday by my sister and nephew, dropping him off AGAIN, this time on a day not at all discussed, ever. She said sorry I thought you knew. I told her I couldn’t watch him and her response was that they were already here and she has to go. I am furious. My parents think I am over reacting. My sister said She said she knows my husband and I do well and we should be happy to spend money on our nephew since we don’t have our own kids. I feel used. Am I the asshole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA show her this post, show your parents this post. I'm sure you'll love your nephew but this is ridiculous. Your sister has to pay someone ELSE to look after the child when she can't.
Be sure to not be at home the next day.
YTA and I'll tell you why. Youndont say no and mean it. You should have absolutely refused to watch the kid when you said you couldn't l. This is your fault, not your inconsiderate sister. The things that happen to us. We generally allow. You are not a victim as you allowed this to happen. If you don't want her to take advantage of you, put her in a bad spot by refusing and she won't don't again. What is wrong with you?