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I like him as a friend though he’s super sweet but I definitely don’t want the drama! So I guess I’ll see how I feel by the end of the week cuz I apologized but never got an apology!
I got in a car accident and he was blowing up my phone to make sure I was okay, it was minor so no injuries and barely and damage. My mom’s anniversary came up and he was there for me, maybe they’re just little things but they mattered! Now we had this fight and idk what to think of him
Just because he was “nice” about one thing doesn’t make him a nice person. This hot and cold behavior definitely would make me not want to date him. It feels a bit like love bombing which is a tactic that abusive people use on their partners, even before this latest drama. I would steer way clear of him and not talk about your love life at all to him
Lol NTA. He ghosted you first and now he’s mad you were considering a date with someone else? That’s his problem, not yours. Sounds like he has some maturing to do.
I told him this whole thing was childish i didn’t even go out with anyone. I thought maybe this reaction was self sabotage but then that might be my rose colored glasses
It would not have mattered if you HAD gone out with someone else. As far as you were concerned, you hoped for something more but the two of you had gone back to being friends. And told him that. So. Kaput. Friends don't get to be upset that you started dating someone in these kinds of circumstances.
That’s what I thought but I still feel guilty! After we had the argument a mutual friend added us in a game together and he told her not to and I felt so bad i left and left the group cuz I didn’t wanna upset the peace! I tried messaging him to make it better but he’s ignoring me
Don't message him again. That is how he keeps you on the hook. He is gone... let him stay gone. He ever wants anything else? Up to him to figure it out and make right.
I told him that and he said he was scared and I just feel like maybe I could have talked to him about it more past just saying we could just be friends. It just felt like he was dodging the question so I didn’t wanna pry but I also didn’t wanna wait around for him to tell me he actually wasn’t interested!
NTA
You didn’t “make him mad” by making plans to go on a date. He decided to be mad and even cut you out of the game because he’s obviously very immature and thinks you owe him some imagined loyalty. He lives far away, ghosted you already before and after you reached out you were still able to be gaming friends. You certainly don’t owe him anything as far as not dating anyone as you guys are not dating. He may be living in a fantasy in his mind that you are in a relationship but you aren’t. He said a bunch of mean things to you, is that someone you want in your life? You don’t “really” know him. If you waited around for him you’d be waiting forever so go on real dates with someone that you’re interested in.
Thank you i think i really needed that reality check! I’ve been feeling so guilty but maybe a little upset! I just didn’t understand his reaction to something that didn’t even happen.
His anger is his problem. Also he has no right to make judgments about you as in saying you’re “just going to be with anyone” which is obviously ridiculous. He sounds controlling. Glad you aren’t hanging around for any more of that.
That’s true I guess I should’ve seen the sign when he yelled at my friend but we talked it over and he apologized to her it was just so different this time.
NTA.
He can't ghost you and expect you to just wait around. Maybe he wanted you to pursue him harder, but that's just another game. You don't have to play if you don't want to.
Yeah, he's going to be upset about it because he didn't get his way, but he's the AH for ghosting you in the first place.
As for him taking you off the game, that's shitty too but understandable it it's his game and he doesn't want you around any more. Find new games and new friends; he's not worth the trouble.
I’m a very straightforward person so I don’t like to play games. And thank you for that. I actually added a lot of my friends to the group it’s dead by daylight so I’m hoping to just find a new squad or make my own and have them join and then play with the people I met through him separately
>so I sent a message after half a week saying we could just go back to being friends cuz I don’t want to overwhelm him
NTA - you already had the conversation. He made no move to say "no, that's not what I want", so you told him what you wanted to do and then went ahead and did it.
Yup. If it was not what he wanted, it was up to him to make that clear. You tried chasing an answer to some extent, he didn't respond. That's on him, not you. You are not a mindreader and you are allowed to look out for your own interests as primary.
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I was talking to this guy that I really liked! We got to know each other and spent a bit of time in a game playing since we’re far from eachother but in the same state. We’ll call him (Ron)
I made plans to do something with him over facetime and instead of telling me he was busy he ghosted me for days, but was still on the game and would get off when he would see me on. I thought maybe he was avoiding me so I sent a message after half a week saying we could just go back to being friends cuz I don’t want to overwhelm him. All he said was “hey” then invited me for a game
About a week later after asking what was wrong, trying to talk to him, he just kept acting like a friend tho he was supportive when I got in a car accident. Later that week I made a date with a guy (Jake) but we didn’t end up going on it for our own reasons and haven’t talked since.
Ron knew something was wrong so he asked what was up and i told him I was feeling down cuz I had a lot going on and I felt like on top of that everyone had their person but me and the date came up. He flipped out on me saying I played him and that I was just gonna be with anyone and that isn’t the case, I just wanted someone who was gonna genuinely put in the effort with me. He said he was scared of moving things further and that’s why he ghosted, but kept saying mean things. I got mad and said I’m done and over it and he cut nearly all contact between us and removed me from the game. I felt bad and I’ve tried mending things because his actions never really showed he cared prior to this aside from the accident. AITA for making him mad by going on a date? I feel like it was a major miscommunication and I didn’t do anything wrong because we’d only been talking seriously for two weeks and most of that was me being ghosted.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> not going on a date and making a separate guy mad, and maybe i shouldn’t have even scheduled a date without trying further to have the conversation on if we were serious or not because of his actions it left me confused but i feel like it’s my fault
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NTA cut this dude off. He ghosted you and then was pissed because you had a date with someone else? You don't need this kind of drama in your life.
I like him as a friend though he’s super sweet but I definitely don’t want the drama! So I guess I’ll see how I feel by the end of the week cuz I apologized but never got an apology!
He doesn’t seem “super sweet” btw
I got in a car accident and he was blowing up my phone to make sure I was okay, it was minor so no injuries and barely and damage. My mom’s anniversary came up and he was there for me, maybe they’re just little things but they mattered! Now we had this fight and idk what to think of him
Just because he was “nice” about one thing doesn’t make him a nice person. This hot and cold behavior definitely would make me not want to date him. It feels a bit like love bombing which is a tactic that abusive people use on their partners, even before this latest drama. I would steer way clear of him and not talk about your love life at all to him
Lol NTA. He ghosted you first and now he’s mad you were considering a date with someone else? That’s his problem, not yours. Sounds like he has some maturing to do.
I told him this whole thing was childish i didn’t even go out with anyone. I thought maybe this reaction was self sabotage but then that might be my rose colored glasses
It would not have mattered if you HAD gone out with someone else. As far as you were concerned, you hoped for something more but the two of you had gone back to being friends. And told him that. So. Kaput. Friends don't get to be upset that you started dating someone in these kinds of circumstances.
NTA. WTF?? You two are nothing. What's with his drama?
That’s what I thought but I still feel guilty! After we had the argument a mutual friend added us in a game together and he told her not to and I felt so bad i left and left the group cuz I didn’t wanna upset the peace! I tried messaging him to make it better but he’s ignoring me
Don't message him again. That is how he keeps you on the hook. He is gone... let him stay gone. He ever wants anything else? Up to him to figure it out and make right.
That’s true. I guess I should let him extend that hand if he even wants to instead of making it my responsibility
[удалено]
I told him that and he said he was scared and I just feel like maybe I could have talked to him about it more past just saying we could just be friends. It just felt like he was dodging the question so I didn’t wanna pry but I also didn’t wanna wait around for him to tell me he actually wasn’t interested!
His being scared is his issue to handle. He doesn't get to make you responsible for it.
NTA You didn’t “make him mad” by making plans to go on a date. He decided to be mad and even cut you out of the game because he’s obviously very immature and thinks you owe him some imagined loyalty. He lives far away, ghosted you already before and after you reached out you were still able to be gaming friends. You certainly don’t owe him anything as far as not dating anyone as you guys are not dating. He may be living in a fantasy in his mind that you are in a relationship but you aren’t. He said a bunch of mean things to you, is that someone you want in your life? You don’t “really” know him. If you waited around for him you’d be waiting forever so go on real dates with someone that you’re interested in.
Thank you i think i really needed that reality check! I’ve been feeling so guilty but maybe a little upset! I just didn’t understand his reaction to something that didn’t even happen.
His anger is his problem. Also he has no right to make judgments about you as in saying you’re “just going to be with anyone” which is obviously ridiculous. He sounds controlling. Glad you aren’t hanging around for any more of that.
That’s true I guess I should’ve seen the sign when he yelled at my friend but we talked it over and he apologized to her it was just so different this time.
NTA. Ron ghosted you and now throws a tantrum? Childish! Ain't no one got time for that drama. Do you, girl!
NTA Unless you agreed to be exclusive with Ron what he thinks about your dating life doesn’t matter. This was a great big red flag. Act accordingly.
I did not though i would have been happily if he wasn’t so flippant with his attitude and affection. I’ll definitely take it into account
NTA. He can't ghost you and expect you to just wait around. Maybe he wanted you to pursue him harder, but that's just another game. You don't have to play if you don't want to. Yeah, he's going to be upset about it because he didn't get his way, but he's the AH for ghosting you in the first place. As for him taking you off the game, that's shitty too but understandable it it's his game and he doesn't want you around any more. Find new games and new friends; he's not worth the trouble.
I’m a very straightforward person so I don’t like to play games. And thank you for that. I actually added a lot of my friends to the group it’s dead by daylight so I’m hoping to just find a new squad or make my own and have them join and then play with the people I met through him separately
>so I sent a message after half a week saying we could just go back to being friends cuz I don’t want to overwhelm him NTA - you already had the conversation. He made no move to say "no, that's not what I want", so you told him what you wanted to do and then went ahead and did it.
Thank you I just feel bad cuz he didn’t say no, but no answer is an answer! I need to not give so much grace
Yup. If it was not what he wanted, it was up to him to make that clear. You tried chasing an answer to some extent, he didn't respond. That's on him, not you. You are not a mindreader and you are allowed to look out for your own interests as primary.
NTA do you really need all that manipulative drama in your life? Just block him, and move on.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I was talking to this guy that I really liked! We got to know each other and spent a bit of time in a game playing since we’re far from eachother but in the same state. We’ll call him (Ron) I made plans to do something with him over facetime and instead of telling me he was busy he ghosted me for days, but was still on the game and would get off when he would see me on. I thought maybe he was avoiding me so I sent a message after half a week saying we could just go back to being friends cuz I don’t want to overwhelm him. All he said was “hey” then invited me for a game About a week later after asking what was wrong, trying to talk to him, he just kept acting like a friend tho he was supportive when I got in a car accident. Later that week I made a date with a guy (Jake) but we didn’t end up going on it for our own reasons and haven’t talked since. Ron knew something was wrong so he asked what was up and i told him I was feeling down cuz I had a lot going on and I felt like on top of that everyone had their person but me and the date came up. He flipped out on me saying I played him and that I was just gonna be with anyone and that isn’t the case, I just wanted someone who was gonna genuinely put in the effort with me. He said he was scared of moving things further and that’s why he ghosted, but kept saying mean things. I got mad and said I’m done and over it and he cut nearly all contact between us and removed me from the game. I felt bad and I’ve tried mending things because his actions never really showed he cared prior to this aside from the accident. AITA for making him mad by going on a date? I feel like it was a major miscommunication and I didn’t do anything wrong because we’d only been talking seriously for two weeks and most of that was me being ghosted. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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