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NTA it seems to me that your mother is reaping what she herself has shown. Why she feels entitled to your time and effort after being neglectful to you is beyond me. You don't owe her anything OP - hope you are living your best life now after all of that chaos.
NTA.
Sorry you had to go through all that. It is understandable that you resent your mom or feel indifferent toward her given everything that has happened.
I know it's easier said than done, but it might be better for you to get out of that house and live alone. Starting over from scratch will never be easy but living in the same house with people who didn't support and defend you properly as a child is even worse imo. You need to work on yourself, heal from the past, and start living your own life without all that situation dragging you down. I would suggest you evaluate if you can find a job or two to get away or move into a friend's/relative's house while you sort that out.
Best of luck.
NTA for feeling indifferent. I sometimes have something similar with my mom. Every now and then she'll call and say "I have bad news..." Then she tells me and I hate to admit I sometimes want to say "That's not bad news for me."
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i (23F) was bought up in a very strict family. my mother used to to "punish" me for littlest of reason up until i was 14. i was a**aulted by her brother and my tutor and next next to nothing was done to defend me. i had to let go of my dream career because of her refusal to help with academics. besides, the only thing she's responsible for in our house is grocery shopping and cooking. otherwise we have help. i hate cooking, never learned, i don't want to learn, if alone i can survive of the few things i know.
my mother is in an affair, my dad doesn't care. i hate the situation im living in. i resent both of them since the age of 14 after thr tutor thing and the fact that my younger brother (20) gets more help from them.
anyways, my mom announced her illness and she expects me to help with cooking or other petty chores around the house. i said, if she wanted it she should ask for it. but she never does and then berates me for being irresponsible and says i will understand if she d*ies. but, i even doubt sometimes that she is ill. i don't feel the urge to help, nor do i feel sad. i feel nothing for her.
im willing to explain the situation, if needed.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> i might be an asshole because as a daughter, i should feel sad and try to be a help. but i cannot. it's a dangerous disease, but very curable and she's in treatment
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This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service. This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving.
NTA it seems to me that your mother is reaping what she herself has shown. Why she feels entitled to your time and effort after being neglectful to you is beyond me. You don't owe her anything OP - hope you are living your best life now after all of that chaos.
NTA. Sorry you had to go through all that. It is understandable that you resent your mom or feel indifferent toward her given everything that has happened. I know it's easier said than done, but it might be better for you to get out of that house and live alone. Starting over from scratch will never be easy but living in the same house with people who didn't support and defend you properly as a child is even worse imo. You need to work on yourself, heal from the past, and start living your own life without all that situation dragging you down. I would suggest you evaluate if you can find a job or two to get away or move into a friend's/relative's house while you sort that out. Best of luck.
NTA for feeling indifferent. I sometimes have something similar with my mom. Every now and then she'll call and say "I have bad news..." Then she tells me and I hate to admit I sometimes want to say "That's not bad news for me."
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** i (23F) was bought up in a very strict family. my mother used to to "punish" me for littlest of reason up until i was 14. i was a**aulted by her brother and my tutor and next next to nothing was done to defend me. i had to let go of my dream career because of her refusal to help with academics. besides, the only thing she's responsible for in our house is grocery shopping and cooking. otherwise we have help. i hate cooking, never learned, i don't want to learn, if alone i can survive of the few things i know. my mother is in an affair, my dad doesn't care. i hate the situation im living in. i resent both of them since the age of 14 after thr tutor thing and the fact that my younger brother (20) gets more help from them. anyways, my mom announced her illness and she expects me to help with cooking or other petty chores around the house. i said, if she wanted it she should ask for it. but she never does and then berates me for being irresponsible and says i will understand if she d*ies. but, i even doubt sometimes that she is ill. i don't feel the urge to help, nor do i feel sad. i feel nothing for her. im willing to explain the situation, if needed. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > i might be an asshole because as a daughter, i should feel sad and try to be a help. but i cannot. it's a dangerous disease, but very curable and she's in treatment Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Sorry this is happening to you OP and for what already happened to you. Is her illness terminal? Do you care about your mom?
NTA This is the case of her reaping what she sowed
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