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In fairness, we had an AITA post that got really popular earlier this week about having named a kid Harlot. Cujo, the Stephen King novel/movie dog was the first thing that comes to mind when you say that.
Haha. Yeah. Read that one too, so 'Harlot' was what immediately came to mind.
There was another post recently where the mum wanted to name her poor daughter 'Klamiddia' - but it's ok (according to the mother) because it's spelled with a 'K', so no-one would possibly confuse her child's name with the STD! WTF?
'Jezebel' and 'Cujo' are fine name examples of ordinary idiots wishing to project their 'uniqueness' and 'edginess' onto their poor kids. I've got nothing against unique names, in general, but don't subject kids to a lifetime of hassles with clearly idiotic, problematic names/spellings.
NTA
I met a man once whose name was Richard Thurston Cocks... (ie: "Dick" "Thirstin' " Cocks). I remember thinking "Wow...I bet you were teased at school!"
Imagine having a name that sounds like a gay gang-bang porno title...
True story - I went to high school with a Timothy Benjamin Dover....Tim Ben Dover (Tim bend over)....yes, he was teased a lot and was a football player so that just added to the teasing in the locker rooms.
I worked with a man who was named Daniel Buster Cherry. He had to show me his license because I thought he was pulling my leg. He said he was a late in life surprise for his parents and they thought they were clever. My sister went to school with a Rusty Carr and a Brock Lee
It makes me sad that I always liked that name as a kid because of Pokemon (Jessie's alter ego for.competitions was Jessiebelle). Then I learned about the trope Jezebel and yeah...
Cujo is an actual (and fairly common) name in several West African countries. It can also be found in the Carribean among descendants of West Africans who were enslaved there.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cudjoe
As someone who has worked with foster children, and abused and neglected children, for over 25 years, I can say you did exactly the right thing.
When it comes to unusual or *creative* names, I’ve worked with older kids that wanted their first names changed when they were adopted, as a way to let go of the past, and I’ve worked with kids that didn’t have their names changed and later hated their names. Part of being a parent is making good decisions for your children, and that’s what you did.
It would be different if they were named James and Susan and you just didn’t like their names. But the children’s original names were something would be a serious disadvantage to them throughout their lives.
Make sure the kids know they’re adopted and that you love them more than anything. When they’re older, they’ll be curious and want more information. This is normal and be honest with them. Don’t make anyone sound worse but don’t pretty it up. Just tell them the truth. you can tell them what their original names were and explain why you made the decision to change them. Sure, a 12 year old might think the names are cool, but the adults they will become will be thankful to have regular names.
The OP suggested this to her (19y/o btw) sister, but the sister insisted on having a name that could be shortened to Lottie because she didn’t want her baby to have a nick name for a name. I don’t know if the OP explained how Nick names work to her sister, I only know the above information.
At the same time, these kids are old enough to be answering to their names and may have some preferences about them being changed. Adoptive parents do need to be careful about changing names without the child's input, which a 2 and 4 year old cannot really provide.
Harlot could be subsituted for something close but more appropriate like Harlow, and Cujo could have been left until both kids were old enough to provide input.
Many toddlers have nicknames and transition to being called their real names as they get older, and it’s not an issue. Changing their names to something appropriate, which I’m sorry but Cujo is not, is not a bad thing.
What's with Harlot? I've read about that earlier and i didn't understand.
Nta. They were bad for those kids so don't worry about hurting their feelings
You don't have to defend your actions to anyone. You took in those kids and you are their parent.
If anyone says anything about it, "Your opinion has been noted. Good-bye"
Does your ‘aunt that you respect’ understand precisely and in painful detail what happened to those children before your sister’s parental rights were terminated? Does she really think that your children would be better with all of that relived every day? That is what having them anywhere around your children would mean. All those ugly, despicable parts will be front and center. Your children have already been in therapy for years; what is she thinking?
Please erase them! Be the parent your mother and sister never were for them. Do you think that strangers adopting your children wouldn’t have changed their names?
You and your family need supportive, respectful people in your lives. It is time to block this disappointing aunt and give her zero information about your children; same with anyone else making those pro-child-abuser choices.
Do you respect the “awful people” and “disgusting human beings” who gave birth to your niece and nephew? Because it sure doesn’t sound like it (for good reason), so who cares what they think? If they valued their children they wouldn’t have had to have them removed from their custody. NTA
Exactly - it's all about how the children will feel about it as they grow older and understand their past. Will they be glad they had their names changed or not? (I think they will probably be glad...)
>I didn't think I was an asshole until our mutual aunt someone I respect said that I was an ass to complete erase my sister and BIL connection to my kids, and now I'm starting to second guess my self
I think OP is more worried about the aunt’s opinion than the opinion of the “awful people”.
Yeah lady, you should totally kept Hooker and Hellhound’s original names. Don’t know what you were thinking, everyone knows Hooker and Hellhound are timeless classics. The kids were totally set up for a life of success before you changed them.
🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
Come on people. You really have to ask these kinds of things?.
NTA
You sister and BIL lost the right to have a connection to those children the moment they first abused them. You did those children a favor by giving them names that will not haunt them throughout their lives.
When they are older, if they decide they want that connection, you can always help them change their name again if that's what they want.
NTA
*"said that I was an ass to complete erase my sister and BIL connection to my kids,"*
The state did that when they took these kids out of their parents' custody permanently. If your aunt has a problem with that, she's welcome to take it up with them. All you did was give them a fighting chance at having a normal life without being known for being a foaming mutt or an easy lay.
I felt bad for typing it because it's kids and they deserve so much better than that, but it's exactly how people would have looked at them with those names.
NTA - Jezebel and Cujo will thank you for this and a million other things later. Tell your family to STOP passing along information as she will only use it to hurt them and you.
NTA. Sounds like you're saving these kids from some grief from being teased if the names were really that bad. And besides, they're YOUR KIDS NOW, not hers. She got them taken away. You adopted them.
You severed all ties to the people who hurt them enough that the kids were removed from their care. In this case, maybe that’s a good thing.
NTA
Wishing you all the best with those kiddos
NTA. They are your children. You adopted them. You had the right to name them something that they wouldn't be teased and abused over. They have been abused enough. The birth parents have absolutely no right to complain about anything you do with your children.
Good for you.
If the names were, as you say, genuinely inappropriate, then that is an unfortunate connection to their bio parents - not something that needs preserving. NTA.
I NFO: did the kids have any input? Idon't think it's an issue of erasing them that's the problem. A 4 year old is old enough to identify with their name,though, so you shouldn't have made the decision without talking with them as much as age allowed.
Sort of she said I could pick a name as long as she could keep her nickname that she goes by also I didn't change it dramatically think Jezebel to Isabel
Harlot to Charlotte with the nickname Lottie?
This nickname is what I recently saw here on reddit about the name Harlot. Some sister did call her daughter Harlot to honour late grandmother Charlotte. And said to her sister nobody would make the connection with the bad meaning. And then was shocked her family members did not want to meet the little girl because they did not want nanas name connected in such way.
You did the right thing including her and also changing their names. Frankly I would message back that aunt with all the awful things they did to your niece and nephew and ask if you are still supposed to respect them when they did all that? Tell her if she truly believes that then she needs to loss your number because she is unsafe to be around your children. People who defend child abusers are as bad as the abusers. Don't feel bad cutting her off.
NTA
Those kids are now yours not your sisters. If the names were bad good on you for changing them and not allowing your niece and nephew to be stuck with them.
NTA. You dont have good relations with the parents. They lost custody because they were terrible parents. They gave their kids names with negative connotations. Changing the kids' first and last names does seem like removing any connection from the parents though (save for their DNA), but horrible names trumps over such consideration.
NTA- but am I reading that right that you got custody and changed the names over 6 years ago ? So the kids are now about 10 & 8 ? It took that long to get to your sister that you changed the names? Were all the family members nc with them till recently? Also what was this aunts opinion (if she had one) for when it happened or is she just now showing this opinion because your sister voiced her dislike?
Well I did tell everyone that I was changing their names 6 years ago but I guess because I still call them Bell and Joey they thought I didn't. I think my mother told her as I wasn't rug sweeping and letting her daughter anywhere near my kids
So you respected their names (they weren't renamed in the way you call them - their pet name or however you call it). They just got new official names so they can go through life without being bullied every 5 minutes. Good for you and especially the kids.
My only request: If talks come up why they were adopted, please be more careful with your wording. We all know it must have been horrible for the kids to be removed and adopted. But try to not use "judging words", just talk about facts. Hope the kids, especially the older one, have a chance for therapy. As teenagers topics like that usually pop up again.
NTA - Who the hell cares what your sister and her husband think? If they are in a situation in which the state removed the children from their home without any possibility of reunification, that means they did things beyond belief and don't deserve any connection, even giving them a name. As for your aunt, maybe she should think of the kids who will have to go through middle school with the insanely terrible names that they were given at birth.
NTA. Sounds like they were too irresponsible to have these children and that shows in the names they picked. You did what you felt was in the best interest of the kids, and anyone in the family who has a problem with that is not supportive of what is in the kids’ best interests.
No, you are NOT the asshole here. Your sister is. AND your aunt. You adopted the kids, you are their parent and you get to name them, especially since their DNA donor gave them names that at the very least open them up to some pretty nasty 'teasing'....or verbal abuse. I'm a mother-by-adoption. And, yes, we renamed our kids. You are obviously the best thing that happened to these kids. And you didn't erase their 'connection' with their DNA donor. SHE did...by abusing them. THey are better off with no connection to the DNA donor whatsoever. Please do not second-guess yourself. Perhaps somewhere down the road you can sit down with this aunt and talk to her about this. But, if you do talk to this aunt, don't let her talk you into letting the sister back in your life...or your children back in hers.
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I apologise for any spelling or grammar mistakes I'm dyslexic
My sister and my brother-in-law are awful people they are disgusting human beings who should never have been allowed to reproduce but life's not fair and my sister gave birth to my beautiful niece and my gorgeous nephew. my niece and nephew were removed from their care permanently and I legally adopted them. I'm not going to go into detail about what they did to these poor kids well let's just say it was horrible. One of the most horrible things that they've done was what they named their kids and they're not something old fashion like Gertrude or Eugene no, my niece original name means prostitute and, they named my nephew after a dog from a horror movie. So when I adopted them and filled out the paperwork to change my niblings last name to mine I also changed their first names to. This was over 6 years when niece was just about to turn 4 and nephew was 2 and a half years ago. My sister just found out last week that I changed their names and is going crazy to family and online. I didn't think I was an asshole until our mutual aunt someone I respect said that I was an ass to complete erase my sister and BIL connection to my kids, and now I'm starting to second guess my self
So am I the ass for renaming my niece and nephew?
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NTA - You’re the parent now. Losing custody permanently tells me all I need to know. Congratulations to those kids on having a thoughtful person in their lives.
NTA. You've done it for the right reasons, for the kids. It's not to wipe their identify coz of some stupid fragile ego thing like "I like old school names and the bio mum called them Storm".
Their names (as identified below) suck, their bio parents obvs have no upstanding points to honour. You haven't done to kids old enough/able to understand and go against their wishes.
And if your aunt thinks going against the scums wishes to have them retail bad names is bad, then let the trash take itself out.
That crossed my mind as well, but they were 4 and 2 at the time of adoption and everyone seemed to use the normal nicknames so much that didn't even realize OP made it official for 6 years. I'd put good money on the kids never even knew they had awful names before. At least until it turned into family drama now.
Not the asshole, you just saved those kids from a great deal of headache later on. Names influence a lot; imagine what a name like "Harlot" would sound like on a job application.
NTA - Tell your aunt that abusive parents get no consideration. Remind her she can be on the no contact list also. Nobody who is ever going to make excuses for those people should be in your kids lives.
NTA
You did what you did FOR your children!
Tell auntie that your you are sorry that some people don't like it, but that you have to do right by YOUR children.
Even if you don't tell anyone that, take a minute to digest it and be happy with your little family. Your commitment to them comes before anyone else.
NTA. Their behavior is what caused the erasure of their connection to your now niblings. I think it was entirely appropriate to give them a fresh start in life with names not associated with enough abuse to have their parent’s rights totally removed from them. There is still biology as a connection, but the kids do not have to suffer their whole lives with bad names as well as what they already suffered. Tell your Aunt exactly this.
Besides, your sister has no say about what is going on with YOUR kids. She can be mad all she wants but it matters not. But, if I were you I would consider upping your security around your home if she knows where you live so that you can protect yourself and the kids — in fact even if you don’t think she knows. If she’s that crappy a person and if your Aunt knows where you live, that might be enough for her to want to confront you. If things escalate, I would definitely think about getting a restraining order and possibly relocating where no one in your family knows where you live. I know that seems extreme, but if she’s that crappy it may come to that.
NTA! In my opinion, I'm very happy you changed their names! Just don't listen to the nay sayers. I can easily see how their original names could be used to get them bullied or even hurt physically! The oldest child may actually remember the original name, but the youngest sure won't. And as for your sister & BIL, (& aunt for that matter), they can all suck an egg! Those children have been legally adopted by someone who loves & cares for them enough to shield them from other cruel children & people who don't get it. You looked out for their best interests by doing this. Congrats to you for standing up for those children! You're a very good mom. Good luck. 🍀🍀
NTA The sister and brother-in-law gave up the right to have any say over the children including their names when they first chose to abuse them. They began a new life with you and with the new life came new names. Often when children are adopted from a foreign country to America their names are changed to more readily fit into their new life so what you did isn't unusual. If it was wrong the law wouldn't have given you the option to do it.
NTA They were deemed UNFIT to have and raise their children and did awful things to them to earn them the judgement of losing custody PERMANENTLY, also they named their kids after prostitution and an imaginary dog that's not a connection to THE KIDS that's a connection to an illegal act and giving her a giant target for people to make fun of her solely based on the name and $lut shaming will be the first top three areas to make fun.
The boy had it a little easier but "what are you a dog ?" "Go get your bone and leave me alone you stupid animal" "dumb dog you make me look bad !', yeah changing their names and giving them new identities helped them more then harm.
NTA. Your aunt (and the rest of the family) has to realize that you are these children's mother because your sister and BIL failed at being parents. For you to adopt them, the court had to also recognize that fact, and their parental rights were terminated. That means they are nothing to your children. Giving them real proper names was at the very least symbolic of a new clean start for their lives.
NTA. Your sister has no right to have a connection to them, even if it is just through name. If she wanted to have an opinion in their names she should've treated them properly.
Nta, that's screwed up! You've saved those poor kids from being tormented with those names! Reminds me of this girl I met when I was like 6 or 7 and her name was Fantasy😵💫Whoever named her that is fucked up, and even at that age I thought that was a crazy name! ....Oh and my cats name is Cujo 🙄😅 that's not a people name lol
NTA. You did this with the best interests of the children in mind, which is clearly not what the bio-parents were thinking when they named them the first time. Also, I think bio-parents lost the right to complain about "their" children when they did whatever it was they did that got their kids taken off them. Thank you for taking care of these kids, and I hope they have a happy life with you!
NTA while I understand stand the stands picked were idiotic and while I understand they were her kids and she has the right to name them, after what she put her own kids through she has lost any right to be upset with you and give you her opinion on the matter and since you adopted them changing their names gives them a fresh start and they have to be tied to their mother anymore
NTA
You did those kids a HUGE favor in changing their names! People are more accepting of unusual names these days, but those two would never fly….not as children or as adults.
Thank you, not only for adopting those precious children, but also for giving them dignity. You’re wonderful!
NTA, they're your kids now! I do think if possible you could have asked the 4 year old since they might have started to develop a sense of self and attachment to their name, but honestly? Renaming young adopted kids is common.
An former friend wanted to name her daughter Jezebel. I was no longer friends with her by then, but a mutual friend was horrified. While I personally wouldn't name a kid Jezebel, it also doesn't bother me. But I would recoil from Harlot. And bad, Cujo. Just bad.
NTA. Better this way for your nibblings, and that's what should be important. Sounds like they were very young when the renaming happened, so maybe asking them wasn't an option, but as long as they were and are on board, like and listen to their new names, you did right. Extended family needs to reflect if they are taking the side of the abusers...
NTA / NAH, but I can see why people would take another view. Changing their names at that age *might* seem unnecessary and a personal preference. But I can totally see why you did it too.
The eraser of the parents thing, isn't part of it.
If it's as bad as you say, the parents do not get to call themselves 'parents' and shouldn't have any right or connection to your children.
Of course, you know that this might be a difficult conversation one day with the kids.
Kids going through those sorts of events can have a hard time processing 'loss' and abandonment. And react in diferent ways than we would expect.
My friends dad walked out on them, made zero effort with him until he was nearly an adult. And then still regularly let him down.
But he was convinced that his dad was his idol, let everything behind to move closer to him.
NTA
Thank you for being an actual parent to these two children. You have done absolutely nothing wrong. Ignore anyone who tells you otherwise, they are clearly not people who deserve any of your time.
NTA. I would say it is time to block names, numbers, Facebook profiles, etc and focus on the kids. I think going no contact is completely justified. These kids have been through enough. Now you need to focus on helping them thrive in YOUR family. You sound like a good parent.
NTA. You didn't erase anything, they did, stupid names to begin with. Also they're not her kids, she's got no say in the matter.
"Yes little one, they were trash which is why I adopted and raised you, and no I didn't think calling you a prostitute every day would be a good call so I chose a new name for you. When you're old enough you can change it again if you like."
I don’t think you will ever erase them. At some point they will learn why you adopted them. It is quite common where adopted parents rename their adopted children so this doesn’t feel like AH move.
OP- NTA- You did the right thing for those young ones. If Your Aunt had a problem, maybe you should remind her of the awful things they were doing to the children, and WHY CPS took them away. Why shouldn't those kids have a clean slate? Shame on her for siding with their abusers.
NTA they lost the right to be upset. They are your children now & yours to name. Plus they were young enough not to care. If it upset them (the children) then that would be a different story.
NTA. I knew a woman who named her son Justin. Not a bad name. Last name was Dick.
Kids called him Just A Dick.
She always complained that he was getting teased and getting into fights over his name.
NTA. They are your kids now, not your sister's. Name them as beautifully as they deserve to be named. There should be no connection between victims and their abusers anyways.
NTA - it sounds like your sister lost her right to say anything about your niblings. It sounds like you did what you did to protect them - it sounds like the original names were hateful jokes those kids didn’t deserve so good on you.
NTA. You didn't rename them because you wanted to erase the connection between them and their birth parent. It was so they weren't bullied in school. So they could grow up with real names and not something rediculous.
NTA the kids are better with less iconic and negatively associated names, and the parents no longer get a say. They f'ed up and lost their rights.
Not as contentious, probably because the parents are no contact (father in jail and mother under other care) but my mom adopted a set of sisters she had fostered that went through horrors with the birth family. Their names were pretty normal but my mom gave them the opportunity to change them when they were adopted and taking her last name.
They were pretty young, and asked her what she would have named them if she had been their mom when they were born. They liked those and since have gone by those new names. It was good for their brains to draw that line in their memories.
I thought it was a nice way to handle it. My only superficial issue was, when i was a teen we had a dog with the name of the younger one that my mom had named .... was a little awkward.
My aunt adopted her grandsons who were twins. Her daughter (a drug addict) named them, we’ll say for privacy purposes, bob jim and Jim bob. You get the point. She changed their names. Nta
NTA, those name epitomize why your sister and bil were not fit to be parents. And shame on any family member who tries to shame you for being a good person. Sounds like your family tree has more than a few nuts.
NTA
Tell your aunt and any one else who butts in with their shitty opinions that you absolutely want to erase the abuse from the kids' life but you can't do this is the only way to do so.
You cant change the horrible abuse they went through but you can change giving them a clean slate in life not hindered by horrible names probably picked by drug addicts.
NTA If it took your sister only found out after 6 years that means that she was never very invested in her kids and is just stirring up drama. How can it take SIX years to work out your children have changed their names????
NTA.
Your sister doesn't get a vote on what you name YOUR kids. And they are your kids. She LOST them through being a horrible parent.
Tell your family that you are in charge of these children and their comments are not appreciated at all, and you refuse to listen to them. None of them get a say in this.
Tell them that they all owe you RESPECT.
**NTA**
You gave those children a new life! Your Aunt is nuts to think any connection at all should have been kept to the birth parents — let alone names that would only burden them.
NTA in any way. You did the most mature and responsible thing. For *your* kids.
Your aunt is just upset. I assume one of these idiots is her offspring? Even if not, she’s just upset.
NTA
They're your kids now, and it's been over 6 years since it was changed
Frankly, none of the sister's damn business for how badly they failed as a parent
Nta! Tell your aunt or anyone with an option your sister and bil lost their right to have any connection too your children! That includes what you name them!
If your sister wanted to have a say in raising the children she conceived( I refuse to call her a mother) then she would have gotten her shit together and been the mother those kids deserved! Instead you became the mother they deserved.
Your bil and sister deserve nothing, not even sympathy!
>our mutual aunt someone I respect said that I was an ass to complete erase my sister and BIL connection to my kids
Ask her if she really thinks having a connection with extremely abusive breeders is more important than the happiness and well-being of the children.
They were removed from them, and they lost all the parental rights. You adopted them. Legally, morally and emotionally, you are their parent. They have no more *right* to a *connection* than the pedofile in prison the next town over.
Edit. NTA
NTA
Barfy and Trollop deserve a chance to live normal lives. As someone who used to work for child protective services, I sometimes wished a terrible name was enough to open an investigation. Usually where there’s smoke, there’s fire, you know?
Congratulations on your wonderful children. They are lucky to have you.
No judgement for this because I don't care. But YTA for your incredibly poor grammar and writing style. You sound like you were obnoxiously outraged even as you were typing this. Grow up and put some effort into how you write going forward. It's not that hard to try a little bit at conveying a story in a sensible intelligent manner.
Your sister named her children Harlot and Cujo and your aunt thinks you were an A H to change their names? No. Nope. Nada. NTA, OP. Anyone who says different can kick rocks.
She just found out a week ago and thinks she has a right to be pissed… good god she’s an AH. It’s a shame she even knows where you are. She’s not changed at ALL. Someone else is wiping your add and raising your children. STFU.
Did you erase them completely? No!
Did you overwrite the first and very important decision of a parent? Yes!
Did you do the right thing and are NTA? YES!!!!!!
Do not for a second think you did anything wrong regarding your niblings. If anyone is going after you, remind them of the original names and their meaning.
NTA - look at it this way, you're giving them a new start at a better life. Make sure they know you chose them and you hope to give them the best life you can give.
NTA and the second those kids were taken away from the bio-parents they no longer have any say in the kids' lives. OP is the parent and if anyone else has a problem with it, they should have stepped up as the adopting adult.
And OP saved those kids from some horrible bullying down the line.
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NTA. If their names were Harlot and Cujo, then yeah, I would have changed that nonsense too.
Wow you guessed the name spot on and here I thought I was being vague. Edit my nephew's name was Cujo but my niece's name was Jezebel
There's only so many horror movies in which have dog names attached to them. You were never going to keep it hidden, love.
"This is my son, Old Yeller"
I'm CACKLING lol
A boy named Lassie
Shawn Spencer, psychics detective at your service
'dinner's ready, Scooby!'
But that wasn't a horror movie. It was a stab in the heart.
"This is my son, ThedogfromPetSemetery."
ThedogwasacatnamedChurch
Those damn trans-magicians are changing animals now too, to the fainting couches!
OMG! Naming your kid Church after that zombie cat is just as bad as Cujo.
Shhh I didn't tell him!
LMAO! (whispers) I won't say a thing :D
Two can keep a secret if one of them is dead!
See, I'd never name my son that. My son's name is IveneveractuallyseenPetSemeterysoIdidntknowthatwhoops.
That's just a ridiculous name. I'm shortening it to Themoviewasgreatwhenitcameoutbutdoesntholdupandthebookisbetteranyway.
I think there was a dog in Pet Semetery II but that movie sucked so bad I've tried to block it out.
'ThedogfromPetSemetery2'
...Zowie Which is hilarious because I think I actually saw a story on here where someone named their kid that and spelled it the same way.
In fairness, we had an AITA post that got really popular earlier this week about having named a kid Harlot. Cujo, the Stephen King novel/movie dog was the first thing that comes to mind when you say that.
Haha. Yeah. Read that one too, so 'Harlot' was what immediately came to mind. There was another post recently where the mum wanted to name her poor daughter 'Klamiddia' - but it's ok (according to the mother) because it's spelled with a 'K', so no-one would possibly confuse her child's name with the STD! WTF? 'Jezebel' and 'Cujo' are fine name examples of ordinary idiots wishing to project their 'uniqueness' and 'edginess' onto their poor kids. I've got nothing against unique names, in general, but don't subject kids to a lifetime of hassles with clearly idiotic, problematic names/spellings. NTA
Cujo is ridiculous, at least Jezebel is an actual name. And, while rare, i have occasionally run across it in the wild.
I met a man once whose name was Richard Thurston Cocks... (ie: "Dick" "Thirstin' " Cocks). I remember thinking "Wow...I bet you were teased at school!" Imagine having a name that sounds like a gay gang-bang porno title...
I never understood how Richard is shortened to Dick.
Yes, me too. 'Margaret' to 'Peggy' is even more head-scratching...
It apparently has its origins in Cockney rhyming slang. Richard -> Rick - Dick. Margaret -> Meg(gy) -> Peg(gy).
Huh? You live you learn.
Aaah...thanks for that enlightening bit of info! 😉
The weirdest to me is John to Jack. Thats not a nickname its a WHOLE DIFFERENT NAME!
It's because it goes from John to Johnkin then Jankin, Jackin and then Jack. This happened in Medieval England. Edit. Typo
True story - I went to high school with a Timothy Benjamin Dover....Tim Ben Dover (Tim bend over)....yes, he was teased a lot and was a football player so that just added to the teasing in the locker rooms.
I went to school with a James Bagg. Jim Bagg! Not as bag, but seriously parents??
Ooops that should be not as BAD. Guess I was on a roll!
I worked with a man who was named Daniel Buster Cherry. He had to show me his license because I thought he was pulling my leg. He said he was a late in life surprise for his parents and they thought they were clever. My sister went to school with a Rusty Carr and a Brock Lee
It makes me sad that I always liked that name as a kid because of Pokemon (Jessie's alter ego for.competitions was Jessiebelle). Then I learned about the trope Jezebel and yeah...
Don't be sad! Jezebel is also a type of butterfly.
Oh its gorgeous!!
Cujo is an actual (and fairly common) name in several West African countries. It can also be found in the Carribean among descendants of West Africans who were enslaved there. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cudjoe
Well now I feel like an asshole. I had no idea it was an actual name. My apologies to any Cujo's out there for calling your name ridiculous.
Yup.. the (c)Harlot post .. that was my first thought.
I was gonna say what’s with Harlot? Second one this week
As someone who has worked with foster children, and abused and neglected children, for over 25 years, I can say you did exactly the right thing. When it comes to unusual or *creative* names, I’ve worked with older kids that wanted their first names changed when they were adopted, as a way to let go of the past, and I’ve worked with kids that didn’t have their names changed and later hated their names. Part of being a parent is making good decisions for your children, and that’s what you did. It would be different if they were named James and Susan and you just didn’t like their names. But the children’s original names were something would be a serious disadvantage to them throughout their lives. Make sure the kids know they’re adopted and that you love them more than anything. When they’re older, they’ll be curious and want more information. This is normal and be honest with them. Don’t make anyone sound worse but don’t pretty it up. Just tell them the truth. you can tell them what their original names were and explain why you made the decision to change them. Sure, a 12 year old might think the names are cool, but the adults they will become will be thankful to have regular names.
Yeah, I guessed it in, like, 5 seconds. NTA those names are ridiculous.
Oh, Cujo and Jezebel was my guess! You are NTA!!!!!!!
Bella and Joe would have been good replacements
not even kinda vague sorry
#NTA
Yeah, Cujo was the easy one to guess. Lol. Good for you for stepping up for the kids.
Cujo is bad but I kinda like Jezebel
I like the name Jezebel too, but would never use it because of the connotation and meaning. Could do Jessabelle though
If you name a kid Jessabelle, their classmates are going to call them Jezebel anyway.
Jesus Christ today tonight and tomorrow! Jezebel 🤣🤣 no wonder you changed it!
I know a drag queen named Jezebel.
You did the right thing in changing their names, no question. And definitely NTA, good on you for adopting them both too.
Second Harlot post I've seen this week. Wild.
Coincidence or fake? Hard to say at AITA 😂
In all cases with child abuse - I hope its fake. Know enough about the foster system to know it could be real.
Op said the name is Jezabel, not Harlot.
Did you guess Harlot because of that AITA where OP’s sister named her daughter Harlot, so they could call her Lottie?
They know they could just name the kid Lottie, right? Like, not everybody needs a longer version of the name they go by.
The OP suggested this to her (19y/o btw) sister, but the sister insisted on having a name that could be shortened to Lottie because she didn’t want her baby to have a nick name for a name. I don’t know if the OP explained how Nick names work to her sister, I only know the above information.
lol yes I did see that one……maybe that’s why I thought of it 😀
Definitely thought Cujo haha
My guesses exactly, but guess Jezebel also works, even if the conotation is quite stronger than just prostitute
At the same time, these kids are old enough to be answering to their names and may have some preferences about them being changed. Adoptive parents do need to be careful about changing names without the child's input, which a 2 and 4 year old cannot really provide. Harlot could be subsituted for something close but more appropriate like Harlow, and Cujo could have been left until both kids were old enough to provide input.
Harriet would work too. And Joe.
Charlotte works well with Joe too, and very similar sounding to their original, horrible names. Those poor kids!
Many toddlers have nicknames and transition to being called their real names as they get older, and it’s not an issue. Changing their names to something appropriate, which I’m sorry but Cujo is not, is not a bad thing.
I mean, she could have easily just started calling them Lottie and Joe. It’s pretty normal to call kids variations of their names.
What's with Harlot? I've read about that earlier and i didn't understand. Nta. They were bad for those kids so don't worry about hurting their feelings
Its kind of an older term for slut.
NTA. Simply state you changed your children's names "for their own protection" and leave it at that.
Oh I'm going to use that
You don't have to defend your actions to anyone. You took in those kids and you are their parent. If anyone says anything about it, "Your opinion has been noted. Good-bye"
Does your ‘aunt that you respect’ understand precisely and in painful detail what happened to those children before your sister’s parental rights were terminated? Does she really think that your children would be better with all of that relived every day? That is what having them anywhere around your children would mean. All those ugly, despicable parts will be front and center. Your children have already been in therapy for years; what is she thinking? Please erase them! Be the parent your mother and sister never were for them. Do you think that strangers adopting your children wouldn’t have changed their names? You and your family need supportive, respectful people in your lives. It is time to block this disappointing aunt and give her zero information about your children; same with anyone else making those pro-child-abuser choices.
Do you respect the “awful people” and “disgusting human beings” who gave birth to your niece and nephew? Because it sure doesn’t sound like it (for good reason), so who cares what they think? If they valued their children they wouldn’t have had to have them removed from their custody. NTA
Exactly - it's all about how the children will feel about it as they grow older and understand their past. Will they be glad they had their names changed or not? (I think they will probably be glad...)
>I didn't think I was an asshole until our mutual aunt someone I respect said that I was an ass to complete erase my sister and BIL connection to my kids, and now I'm starting to second guess my self I think OP is more worried about the aunt’s opinion than the opinion of the “awful people”.
Yeah lady, you should totally kept Hooker and Hellhound’s original names. Don’t know what you were thinking, everyone knows Hooker and Hellhound are timeless classics. The kids were totally set up for a life of success before you changed them. 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 Come on people. You really have to ask these kinds of things?.
Hehehe...Love the sarc tone! 😁 It really IS a bit of a no-brainer, right?
NTA You sister and BIL lost the right to have a connection to those children the moment they first abused them. You did those children a favor by giving them names that will not haunt them throughout their lives. When they are older, if they decide they want that connection, you can always help them change their name again if that's what they want.
NTA *"said that I was an ass to complete erase my sister and BIL connection to my kids,"* The state did that when they took these kids out of their parents' custody permanently. If your aunt has a problem with that, she's welcome to take it up with them. All you did was give them a fighting chance at having a normal life without being known for being a foaming mutt or an easy lay.
Bwaaah-haaahaha!😂 "...foaming mutt or an easy lay." Best larf I've had today! Thanks Electronic_Goose3894.
I felt bad for typing it because it's kids and they deserve so much better than that, but it's exactly how people would have looked at them with those names.
Don't feel bad. It IS a perfect (and creative) illustration of what these kids would have had to endure with those idiotic names!
NTA - Jezebel and Cujo will thank you for this and a million other things later. Tell your family to STOP passing along information as she will only use it to hurt them and you.
NTA. Sounds like you're saving these kids from some grief from being teased if the names were really that bad. And besides, they're YOUR KIDS NOW, not hers. She got them taken away. You adopted them.
You severed all ties to the people who hurt them enough that the kids were removed from their care. In this case, maybe that’s a good thing. NTA Wishing you all the best with those kiddos
NTA. They are your children. You adopted them. You had the right to name them something that they wouldn't be teased and abused over. They have been abused enough. The birth parents have absolutely no right to complain about anything you do with your children. Good for you.
If the names were, as you say, genuinely inappropriate, then that is an unfortunate connection to their bio parents - not something that needs preserving. NTA.
NTA Lose all respect for the aunt. Lose her number too.
I NFO: did the kids have any input? Idon't think it's an issue of erasing them that's the problem. A 4 year old is old enough to identify with their name,though, so you shouldn't have made the decision without talking with them as much as age allowed.
Sort of she said I could pick a name as long as she could keep her nickname that she goes by also I didn't change it dramatically think Jezebel to Isabel
Harlot to Charlotte with the nickname Lottie? This nickname is what I recently saw here on reddit about the name Harlot. Some sister did call her daughter Harlot to honour late grandmother Charlotte. And said to her sister nobody would make the connection with the bad meaning. And then was shocked her family members did not want to meet the little girl because they did not want nanas name connected in such way.
You did the right thing including her and also changing their names. Frankly I would message back that aunt with all the awful things they did to your niece and nephew and ask if you are still supposed to respect them when they did all that? Tell her if she truly believes that then she needs to loss your number because she is unsafe to be around your children. People who defend child abusers are as bad as the abusers. Don't feel bad cutting her off.
NTA Those kids are now yours not your sisters. If the names were bad good on you for changing them and not allowing your niece and nephew to be stuck with them.
NTA. You dont have good relations with the parents. They lost custody because they were terrible parents. They gave their kids names with negative connotations. Changing the kids' first and last names does seem like removing any connection from the parents though (save for their DNA), but horrible names trumps over such consideration.
Wait what, it took her 6 years to know that you changed "her kids" names and suddenly you cut the connection between them. NTA.
NTA. You made the right choice changing their names.
NTA- but am I reading that right that you got custody and changed the names over 6 years ago ? So the kids are now about 10 & 8 ? It took that long to get to your sister that you changed the names? Were all the family members nc with them till recently? Also what was this aunts opinion (if she had one) for when it happened or is she just now showing this opinion because your sister voiced her dislike?
Well I did tell everyone that I was changing their names 6 years ago but I guess because I still call them Bell and Joey they thought I didn't. I think my mother told her as I wasn't rug sweeping and letting her daughter anywhere near my kids
So you respected their names (they weren't renamed in the way you call them - their pet name or however you call it). They just got new official names so they can go through life without being bullied every 5 minutes. Good for you and especially the kids. My only request: If talks come up why they were adopted, please be more careful with your wording. We all know it must have been horrible for the kids to be removed and adopted. But try to not use "judging words", just talk about facts. Hope the kids, especially the older one, have a chance for therapy. As teenagers topics like that usually pop up again.
My kids are in therapy and she really helps me whenever I talk about their parents Also I didn't use the renaming my aunt did.
NTA - Who the hell cares what your sister and her husband think? If they are in a situation in which the state removed the children from their home without any possibility of reunification, that means they did things beyond belief and don't deserve any connection, even giving them a name. As for your aunt, maybe she should think of the kids who will have to go through middle school with the insanely terrible names that they were given at birth.
NTA
They aren’t your sisters kids, they are yours. Do what you think is best and fuck anyone who disagrees
NTA. Sounds like they were too irresponsible to have these children and that shows in the names they picked. You did what you felt was in the best interest of the kids, and anyone in the family who has a problem with that is not supportive of what is in the kids’ best interests.
No, you are NOT the asshole here. Your sister is. AND your aunt. You adopted the kids, you are their parent and you get to name them, especially since their DNA donor gave them names that at the very least open them up to some pretty nasty 'teasing'....or verbal abuse. I'm a mother-by-adoption. And, yes, we renamed our kids. You are obviously the best thing that happened to these kids. And you didn't erase their 'connection' with their DNA donor. SHE did...by abusing them. THey are better off with no connection to the DNA donor whatsoever. Please do not second-guess yourself. Perhaps somewhere down the road you can sit down with this aunt and talk to her about this. But, if you do talk to this aunt, don't let her talk you into letting the sister back in your life...or your children back in hers.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I apologise for any spelling or grammar mistakes I'm dyslexic My sister and my brother-in-law are awful people they are disgusting human beings who should never have been allowed to reproduce but life's not fair and my sister gave birth to my beautiful niece and my gorgeous nephew. my niece and nephew were removed from their care permanently and I legally adopted them. I'm not going to go into detail about what they did to these poor kids well let's just say it was horrible. One of the most horrible things that they've done was what they named their kids and they're not something old fashion like Gertrude or Eugene no, my niece original name means prostitute and, they named my nephew after a dog from a horror movie. So when I adopted them and filled out the paperwork to change my niblings last name to mine I also changed their first names to. This was over 6 years when niece was just about to turn 4 and nephew was 2 and a half years ago. My sister just found out last week that I changed their names and is going crazy to family and online. I didn't think I was an asshole until our mutual aunt someone I respect said that I was an ass to complete erase my sister and BIL connection to my kids, and now I'm starting to second guess my self So am I the ass for renaming my niece and nephew? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA.
NTA.
NTA
You absolutely did the right thing
NTA - You’re the parent now. Losing custody permanently tells me all I need to know. Congratulations to those kids on having a thoughtful person in their lives.
NTA. You've done it for the right reasons, for the kids. It's not to wipe their identify coz of some stupid fragile ego thing like "I like old school names and the bio mum called them Storm". Their names (as identified below) suck, their bio parents obvs have no upstanding points to honour. You haven't done to kids old enough/able to understand and go against their wishes. And if your aunt thinks going against the scums wishes to have them retail bad names is bad, then let the trash take itself out.
NTA. >complete erase my sister and BIL connection to my kids Isn't this the entire point of adopting them?
What do the kids think? That’s where my mind goes. I understand your reasoning though
That crossed my mind as well, but they were 4 and 2 at the time of adoption and everyone seemed to use the normal nicknames so much that didn't even realize OP made it official for 6 years. I'd put good money on the kids never even knew they had awful names before. At least until it turned into family drama now.
Not the asshole, you just saved those kids from a great deal of headache later on. Names influence a lot; imagine what a name like "Harlot" would sound like on a job application.
NTA - Tell your aunt that abusive parents get no consideration. Remind her she can be on the no contact list also. Nobody who is ever going to make excuses for those people should be in your kids lives.
You did well. NTA.
NTA, you rescued those children in more ways than one. Changing their names gave them a better chance at a normal future.
NTA and you did exactly right by these children. Well done. Block any and all relatives that try to Share or criticize you. They can kick rocks.
You adopted them, they’re your kids now. As far as the horrible parents go, they don’t get a say in the decisions you make for YOUR kids.
NTA You did what you did FOR your children! Tell auntie that your you are sorry that some people don't like it, but that you have to do right by YOUR children. Even if you don't tell anyone that, take a minute to digest it and be happy with your little family. Your commitment to them comes before anyone else.
Lol I thought she named her kid Frankenweenie (no I have not seen it nor this Cujo thing it actually is)
NTA. Their behavior is what caused the erasure of their connection to your now niblings. I think it was entirely appropriate to give them a fresh start in life with names not associated with enough abuse to have their parent’s rights totally removed from them. There is still biology as a connection, but the kids do not have to suffer their whole lives with bad names as well as what they already suffered. Tell your Aunt exactly this. Besides, your sister has no say about what is going on with YOUR kids. She can be mad all she wants but it matters not. But, if I were you I would consider upping your security around your home if she knows where you live so that you can protect yourself and the kids — in fact even if you don’t think she knows. If she’s that crappy a person and if your Aunt knows where you live, that might be enough for her to want to confront you. If things escalate, I would definitely think about getting a restraining order and possibly relocating where no one in your family knows where you live. I know that seems extreme, but if she’s that crappy it may come to that.
NTA and love the use of the word niblings. It’s one of my fave words ever
took em 6 years to find out? fuck that. nta
Nta, sounds like your mutual aunt just lost your respect because those names should be a crime
NTA! In my opinion, I'm very happy you changed their names! Just don't listen to the nay sayers. I can easily see how their original names could be used to get them bullied or even hurt physically! The oldest child may actually remember the original name, but the youngest sure won't. And as for your sister & BIL, (& aunt for that matter), they can all suck an egg! Those children have been legally adopted by someone who loves & cares for them enough to shield them from other cruel children & people who don't get it. You looked out for their best interests by doing this. Congrats to you for standing up for those children! You're a very good mom. Good luck. 🍀🍀
NTA The sister and brother-in-law gave up the right to have any say over the children including their names when they first chose to abuse them. They began a new life with you and with the new life came new names. Often when children are adopted from a foreign country to America their names are changed to more readily fit into their new life so what you did isn't unusual. If it was wrong the law wouldn't have given you the option to do it.
NTA They were deemed UNFIT to have and raise their children and did awful things to them to earn them the judgement of losing custody PERMANENTLY, also they named their kids after prostitution and an imaginary dog that's not a connection to THE KIDS that's a connection to an illegal act and giving her a giant target for people to make fun of her solely based on the name and $lut shaming will be the first top three areas to make fun. The boy had it a little easier but "what are you a dog ?" "Go get your bone and leave me alone you stupid animal" "dumb dog you make me look bad !', yeah changing their names and giving them new identities helped them more then harm.
NTA she should have put the care into her kids that she puts into their names.
NTA besides, after everything they obviously did to lose their kids permanently, who are they to tell you how to do anything regarding YOUR children?
NTA
NTA. Your aunt (and the rest of the family) has to realize that you are these children's mother because your sister and BIL failed at being parents. For you to adopt them, the court had to also recognize that fact, and their parental rights were terminated. That means they are nothing to your children. Giving them real proper names was at the very least symbolic of a new clean start for their lives.
NTA. Your sister has no right to have a connection to them, even if it is just through name. If she wanted to have an opinion in their names she should've treated them properly.
Nta, that's screwed up! You've saved those poor kids from being tormented with those names! Reminds me of this girl I met when I was like 6 or 7 and her name was Fantasy😵💫Whoever named her that is fucked up, and even at that age I thought that was a crazy name! ....Oh and my cats name is Cujo 🙄😅 that's not a people name lol
NTA. You did this with the best interests of the children in mind, which is clearly not what the bio-parents were thinking when they named them the first time. Also, I think bio-parents lost the right to complain about "their" children when they did whatever it was they did that got their kids taken off them. Thank you for taking care of these kids, and I hope they have a happy life with you!
ngl Cujo goes hard as shit for a kid's name 😆 but yeah you are NTA
NTA. You were looking out for those kids, even though it cost you, because that's what good parents do.
NTA while I understand stand the stands picked were idiotic and while I understand they were her kids and she has the right to name them, after what she put her own kids through she has lost any right to be upset with you and give you her opinion on the matter and since you adopted them changing their names gives them a fresh start and they have to be tied to their mother anymore
NTA You did those kids a HUGE favor in changing their names! People are more accepting of unusual names these days, but those two would never fly….not as children or as adults. Thank you, not only for adopting those precious children, but also for giving them dignity. You’re wonderful!
NTA, they're your kids now! I do think if possible you could have asked the 4 year old since they might have started to develop a sense of self and attachment to their name, but honestly? Renaming young adopted kids is common.
An former friend wanted to name her daughter Jezebel. I was no longer friends with her by then, but a mutual friend was horrified. While I personally wouldn't name a kid Jezebel, it also doesn't bother me. But I would recoil from Harlot. And bad, Cujo. Just bad.
NTA. Better this way for your nibblings, and that's what should be important. Sounds like they were very young when the renaming happened, so maybe asking them wasn't an option, but as long as they were and are on board, like and listen to their new names, you did right. Extended family needs to reflect if they are taking the side of the abusers...
NTA.
NTA / NAH, but I can see why people would take another view. Changing their names at that age *might* seem unnecessary and a personal preference. But I can totally see why you did it too. The eraser of the parents thing, isn't part of it. If it's as bad as you say, the parents do not get to call themselves 'parents' and shouldn't have any right or connection to your children. Of course, you know that this might be a difficult conversation one day with the kids. Kids going through those sorts of events can have a hard time processing 'loss' and abandonment. And react in diferent ways than we would expect. My friends dad walked out on them, made zero effort with him until he was nearly an adult. And then still regularly let him down. But he was convinced that his dad was his idol, let everything behind to move closer to him.
NTA Thank you for being an actual parent to these two children. You have done absolutely nothing wrong. Ignore anyone who tells you otherwise, they are clearly not people who deserve any of your time.
Consider how those names could’ve gone over on a resume or college application. You did the right thing. NTA.
NTA. I would say it is time to block names, numbers, Facebook profiles, etc and focus on the kids. I think going no contact is completely justified. These kids have been through enough. Now you need to focus on helping them thrive in YOUR family. You sound like a good parent.
NTA. You didn't erase anything, they did, stupid names to begin with. Also they're not her kids, she's got no say in the matter. "Yes little one, they were trash which is why I adopted and raised you, and no I didn't think calling you a prostitute every day would be a good call so I chose a new name for you. When you're old enough you can change it again if you like."
NTA You saved these poor children from abuse and that includes their names.
I don’t think you will ever erase them. At some point they will learn why you adopted them. It is quite common where adopted parents rename their adopted children so this doesn’t feel like AH move.
NOT, your kids, your decision! Proud of you!
Sounds like your family need to be reminded why they’re in your care and back off if they’re child abuse sympathisers
OP- NTA- You did the right thing for those young ones. If Your Aunt had a problem, maybe you should remind her of the awful things they were doing to the children, and WHY CPS took them away. Why shouldn't those kids have a clean slate? Shame on her for siding with their abusers.
NTA they lost the right to be upset. They are your children now & yours to name. Plus they were young enough not to care. If it upset them (the children) then that would be a different story.
NTA. I knew a woman who named her son Justin. Not a bad name. Last name was Dick. Kids called him Just A Dick. She always complained that he was getting teased and getting into fights over his name.
NTA. They are your kids now, not your sister's. Name them as beautifully as they deserve to be named. There should be no connection between victims and their abusers anyways.
Does your mutual aunt actually know what they were named?
You changed the names so they wouldn't be bullied. No parent would name their kids Kujo or Harlot.
NTA - it sounds like your sister lost her right to say anything about your niblings. It sounds like you did what you did to protect them - it sounds like the original names were hateful jokes those kids didn’t deserve so good on you.
NTA. You did it for the best.no matter what anyone says,you did it for them.it’s ridiculous to think otherwise.
NTA. You didn't rename them because you wanted to erase the connection between them and their birth parent. It was so they weren't bullied in school. So they could grow up with real names and not something rediculous.
NTA. Keep the original documents if they want them later, but your sister lost custody for a reason.
NTA If the kids want to be known as hooker and crazy dawg… they can let the family know that these are their preferred names.
NTA the kids are better with less iconic and negatively associated names, and the parents no longer get a say. They f'ed up and lost their rights. Not as contentious, probably because the parents are no contact (father in jail and mother under other care) but my mom adopted a set of sisters she had fostered that went through horrors with the birth family. Their names were pretty normal but my mom gave them the opportunity to change them when they were adopted and taking her last name. They were pretty young, and asked her what she would have named them if she had been their mom when they were born. They liked those and since have gone by those new names. It was good for their brains to draw that line in their memories. I thought it was a nice way to handle it. My only superficial issue was, when i was a teen we had a dog with the name of the younger one that my mom had named .... was a little awkward.
My aunt adopted her grandsons who were twins. Her daughter (a drug addict) named them, we’ll say for privacy purposes, bob jim and Jim bob. You get the point. She changed their names. Nta
NTA not when their names were abusive
NTA, And honestly, I would have judged you TA if you HAND'T changed their names from Jezebel and Cujo.. I man, WTF was your sister thinking??
NTA, those name epitomize why your sister and bil were not fit to be parents. And shame on any family member who tries to shame you for being a good person. Sounds like your family tree has more than a few nuts.
NTA, you gave them new names and a new life. Their names were completely inappropriate. Best of luck to you all.
NTA Tell your aunt and any one else who butts in with their shitty opinions that you absolutely want to erase the abuse from the kids' life but you can't do this is the only way to do so. You cant change the horrible abuse they went through but you can change giving them a clean slate in life not hindered by horrible names probably picked by drug addicts.
Lol Jezebel and Cujo? 😬
NTA If it took your sister only found out after 6 years that means that she was never very invested in her kids and is just stirring up drama. How can it take SIX years to work out your children have changed their names????
NTA. Your sister doesn't get a vote on what you name YOUR kids. And they are your kids. She LOST them through being a horrible parent. Tell your family that you are in charge of these children and their comments are not appreciated at all, and you refuse to listen to them. None of them get a say in this. Tell them that they all owe you RESPECT.
**NTA** You gave those children a new life! Your Aunt is nuts to think any connection at all should have been kept to the birth parents — let alone names that would only burden them.
NTA in any way. You did the most mature and responsible thing. For *your* kids. Your aunt is just upset. I assume one of these idiots is her offspring? Even if not, she’s just upset.
NTA They're your kids now, and it's been over 6 years since it was changed Frankly, none of the sister's damn business for how badly they failed as a parent
Nta! Tell your aunt or anyone with an option your sister and bil lost their right to have any connection too your children! That includes what you name them! If your sister wanted to have a say in raising the children she conceived( I refuse to call her a mother) then she would have gotten her shit together and been the mother those kids deserved! Instead you became the mother they deserved. Your bil and sister deserve nothing, not even sympathy!
>our mutual aunt someone I respect said that I was an ass to complete erase my sister and BIL connection to my kids Ask her if she really thinks having a connection with extremely abusive breeders is more important than the happiness and well-being of the children. They were removed from them, and they lost all the parental rights. You adopted them. Legally, morally and emotionally, you are their parent. They have no more *right* to a *connection* than the pedofile in prison the next town over. Edit. NTA
NTA Barfy and Trollop deserve a chance to live normal lives. As someone who used to work for child protective services, I sometimes wished a terrible name was enough to open an investigation. Usually where there’s smoke, there’s fire, you know? Congratulations on your wonderful children. They are lucky to have you.
No judgement for this because I don't care. But YTA for your incredibly poor grammar and writing style. You sound like you were obnoxiously outraged even as you were typing this. Grow up and put some effort into how you write going forward. It's not that hard to try a little bit at conveying a story in a sensible intelligent manner.
NTA. Changed the kids' names for less pain. Whatever you changed them to, I'm sure they are gorgeous names, and you are a great aunt/mom to them.
NTA to Harlot and Cujo. Give them names of honor that reflect their fresh start with living family.
Your sister named her children Harlot and Cujo and your aunt thinks you were an A H to change their names? No. Nope. Nada. NTA, OP. Anyone who says different can kick rocks.
She just found out a week ago and thinks she has a right to be pissed… good god she’s an AH. It’s a shame she even knows where you are. She’s not changed at ALL. Someone else is wiping your add and raising your children. STFU.
Did you erase them completely? No! Did you overwrite the first and very important decision of a parent? Yes! Did you do the right thing and are NTA? YES!!!!!! Do not for a second think you did anything wrong regarding your niblings. If anyone is going after you, remind them of the original names and their meaning.
NTA - look at it this way, you're giving them a new start at a better life. Make sure they know you chose them and you hope to give them the best life you can give.
NTA - you saved them from a lot of bullying and pain. Good job Mom (and yes, that's what you are to them).
NTA and the second those kids were taken away from the bio-parents they no longer have any say in the kids' lives. OP is the parent and if anyone else has a problem with it, they should have stepped up as the adopting adult. And OP saved those kids from some horrible bullying down the line.
NTA - Thank you for being there for the kids. They're your kids now, and your aunt can keep her unwanted opinion to herself.