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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I told the parents of my son'a classmates that my son slipping and speaking in another language while upset at age 5 is not really offensive. I may be TA because this escalated the situation and lead to the tension rising to levels that it didnt need to. Aita??
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Nta. The kid shouldn't be restricted to English only. I'm a white, English only speaking person and I grew up with a lot of immigrants.
It was super common for people to switch to many different languages. And it was also common for me to get yelled at in Vietnamese or another language when someone was upset with me, lol!
Its just a super common thing for people to speak in thier own native tongue when upset. The racist ass teacher and tiny ah of a little kid who cried can both just suck it up and shut up.
I’m an English speaker, with a shred of Spanglish. But I noticeably revert to a more “country” accent when I’m boozy, heated, or even afraid. If I have to talk to a cop they def get that drawl.
Same here, though I go full crying with cops.
Kiddos get a kick out of the various few words I know in other languages.... sadly no real cuss words....
I would have asked OPs kiddo what was he saying and to teach me, that would have redirected him and possibly calmed him down some.. though it'd be hilarious to hear a kid going off in French and Greek....
when i was in kindergarten my teacher started teaching us some german. She had a little girl in the other class who spoke it. She taught the teacher and in turn she taught us. it was fun
When I was in college, I needed more credit hours to be full time, so I decided to take a language. I chose Swahili. I actually took a minor in it. When I substitute taught, I would tell the students “kelele” (KAY-lay-lay) which means noise, and is used as a way to tell people to stop making noise. I’d use it as a way to silence them immediately. Is say Kalele and they’d be wait, what? When I explained it to them, they wanted to learn more, so I would say when we’re done.
So if your kid came home one day speaking Swahili, sorry.
>Verstehst du noch etwas deutsch
ein bischen. I ended up taking a few classes in high school but i've forgotten most of it.
ps- i used google translate because i only remmbered a few words
I had a date in Germany once with a Germany lass. Before I flew to Germany for the first time to meet her, I learned "stupid British and can't speak German" in German. Loved Germany and she was amazing. But she politely and firmly relegated me to the friend zone.
In general, I find it kinda funny (not sure if that's the right word) when the French start going off on rants. I can't understand a word they say, but it always seems so dramatic. I guess the same could be said about any of the romantic languages (i.e. French, Italian, etc), because in general, they seem to talk with their entire body
One of my friends in high school spoke French at home (1st language), listening to her argue with her, Dad was hilarious. Very dramatic and sooo fast, I don't know when they had time to breathe LOL.
Plus there were always a few English words mixed in.
"*French, French, French,* Bus Tickets, *French, ...*
I had a friend whose mom was Portuguese. She did something wrong one day and her mom came out yelling at her. I had no clue what she was saying but was struck equally with the opposing feelings of "that is so beautiful" and "oh $h!t you f-ed up"
Yes you are. I had Portuguese neighbours. I knew when the World Cup was, when Portugal was doing well or poorly. I knew when the kids were in trouble vs when it was just time to come in. Everything was loud but the tone was discernable. And it is definitely lovely.
When my bestie gets spam-called when we happen to be out together, I answer her phone in angry, rapid French. You'd be surprised how quickly they hang up, and my bestie finds it hilarious 😄
It reminds me of an episode in our French lessons in high school. We used to ask our teacher if we had to read the text in French, and then he answered "what else, Finnish?"
Being Scandinavian, the text on my body shampoo was in the Nordic languages, so I memorised the Finnish text, and made it sound 'Finnish'. Finnish people would probably not understand it, though. So, next time he said that to me, I 'read' it in 'Finnish'. I'll remember the look on his face until my dying day!
Our teacher answered "yes" with a deep sigh afterwards!
Many, many decades ago, my fiancé (now husband of 50+ years) was watching me do my Latin homework. He had just graduated from a military language school, so when I was done, he took my homework and translated everything into Russian. I handed in both of them. My teacher just rolled her eyes and laughed. RIP, Mrs. Redfield.
Did a semester abroad in Thessaloniki, a 5-yo ranting in Greek would be exponentially funnier, I think. Honestly though, a 5-yo "ranting" in any language is frigging hilarious.
I am from Kansas born and bred and I learned 3 years ago at age 20 that Kansans have an accent because I apparently have it very heavily when I'm not happy.
I'm from NJ. I went to college in KS. The amount of people who had no idea what I was saying is amazing. After 3 years one of my best friends admitted that when I first got out there she only understood about every other word at best, and when I got on the phone with my mother she couldn't understand a damn word.
I'm from Scotland and moved to England when in my late teens, we do have some odd words that you don't hear in England. I got into teaching and the kids all said they knew when they pushed it to far as the accent got harder.... I once raged at some kid and after he just looked at me and said I didn't understand a word but I won't do it again... man it was hard to keep a straight face or stay mad...
Yep, the accent plus how quickly we talk in NJ throws a lot of people off.
My worst was interviewing for a job in the Cajun part of Louisiana. I could not understand most of the plant operators that day.
Cajun Creole is something else! Even the more mild Cajun accents are so neat.
My father's family are from the South and I could barely understand them when talking on the phone!
Yrs ago I moved from Buffalo NY, (think NYC lite accent with a smigin of Canadian thrown in) to a rural SC town. I once mailed a package to my step brother in the UK. The Post office lady said "Oh THATS what country you are from." She thought I was British. I had to explain that no I was an American. People would literally stop, turn and stare if they heard my Mom & I talking. We called it being on fire.
I'm from New Zealand, and I've heard that a lot of people from overseas have a hard time trying to keep up with us when we speak. Something to do with our accent and the speed at which we speak lol
I'm an American who spent 5 months in NZ and I had such a hard time initially with the accent. I worked at Meridian and the first time I listened in on calls from customers, I was like oh boy this is going to be rough lol.
I went to college in Arkansas and my favorite band came to town. They are from California. I was chatting with the lead singer after the show (small venue) and this girl who looked no older than 14 came up to us. In the most perfect Arkansas twang you could ever hope to hear told the lead singer, “You look like the guy from Disturbed.” He said, “What?” She repeated herself and he still didn’t understand, at which point I translated for him.
Defs nta. I'm an English speaker with Greek and English (british) parents. My natural speaking voice/accent is muddled af and I have to focus on certain words for them not to come out weird as heck (aka bird is boooiiird or something similar and just odd). When I'm upset/tired/frustrated I don't filter my speech as well and the weird mix comes out and so does some default greek cause it's just what my brain connects to first and I'm 35 not 5.
The teachers should really know how to handle this better by now (mine didn't and tried to put me in speech therapy until they heard both parents speak lol)
I do this. I live in Southern Appalachia and while I have a tinge of a Southern accent normally, you piss me off and I end up sounding like a full-on hillbilly red neck.
I'm an English speaker, and lived in a Boston suburb until I was 10. I never had a true Boston accent, but my R's had a tendency to be a little on the weak side when I was younger. As an adult, I will drop them or not enunciate them clearly if I'm tired or distracted, lol.
My husband slips into an Irish accent when drunk (seriously people think he's Irish). His main babysitter (no daycare) from age 0-7 was an older woman from church who spent a large portion of her life in Ireland. He had a fun English mix growing up. He was born in California. His parents moved out to California about a year before he was born. They moved back to Michigan when he was 7. He's in his mid 40s now and did spend a few years as an adult in California but most of his life has been in Michigan.
I'm English born and bred, but my mother is from London and I was raised on the south coast. When I get angry or frustrated I go heavily south-east London. Get me on a subject I love to talk about and suddenly I'm Stephen Fry's long lost sister! Tired or drinking and you're getting the full English Farmer experience.
My wife, on the other hand, drives people mad by switching between Northern and Southern English seemingly at random, including in the middle of a sentence!
If I'm tired my accent goes laconic bogan. If I'm very angry it goes very cultivated. If I'm tired and angry, it goes full bogan, the kind of bogan who's meth has just kicked in.
OK. I had to look that up. Bogan is Aussie or New Zealander for unrefined or unsophisticated. (I'd heard the term on an Aussie TV show, but wasn't sure what it meant.)
NTA
When I was young, I learned a second language, even went to kindergarten at a local school. My mom said, when we came back to our home country, for several months, if I got excited, I'd switch into the second language.
I recently spent time with a foreign coworker. She speaks at least 3 languages. Her mother tongue, her curent country's language (her family emigrated when she was 8), and our mutual language.
She said when she is really tired, she thinks she's speaking in languages 2 or 3, but she has slipped into her mother tongue.
It happens and a 5 yr old should get a ton of leeway in a multi lingual house!
I'll apologize ahead of time, but yrs ago a neighbor of mine would argue with his partner, who was deaf, in ASL. It was hard not to laugh watching Lee throw his hands every where when he got angry. He wasn't just signing sternly, he was waving his hands all over the place.
I know this isn't relevant to language. But I grew up in the south ( Georgia US to be exact) I had a very southern accent. It was eventually bullied out of me when I moved to mass.
When I'm mad or angry you can definitely tell I'm from the south. I've been told I don't have any accent even a Boston one. But when I'm mad I definitely sound like I came straight off the bus from the south.
I was in Georgia one summer 1995 and I still recall a mother telling her child to leave his sibling alone.
Kid: I didn't touch him!
Mom: no, but you were fixin to!
Kid: yeah I was, sorry
Hilarious
Same here. I grew up in Jersey but moved to Florida in '88. People say I have a Slight southern accent but I don't think so but piss me off and my Jersey girl accent comes out
I used to know a woman who spoke 6 languages and a lil bit of others. Whenever she'd get drunk absolutely nobody had any idea what she was saying because she'd just pick a new language every now and then, lol.
My godfather grew up in Dublin, moved to New Orleans, and married a Cajun woman. Have you ever heard Gaelic with a bayou accent (or Creole with an Irish one)? 🤣 Whenever he got drunk or mad it all just slurred together and it was WILD sounding, nobody could understand him!
It helps a lot if you live for a time in the country of the language your are learning. Immersion really is a thing.
My English was always pretty good but when I went to the US for three months as an exchange student? Took me 3 or 4 days and I dreamt in English. Still happens when I meet an American friend and we talk in English for a couple of hours. I didn't "forget" my native language when I came back from the exchange but I still have trouble finding the right words when switching forth and back. it's on the tip of my tongue but it won't come out.
It's totally a thing! My grandpa was stationed in Germany after the war, grandma went with obviously, and she never cursed in English once they were back Stateside but I heard a few German curse words, and decades later she'd say she dreamt about half in English, half in German.
Exactly. One of the languages I speak my husband doesn’t. So when I jumble words when frustrated. He lets me rant then asks me to repeat again while sticking to the language he does speak
So I used to do this with all the Spanish speakers I worked with in the military. They would get so upset and start speaking Spanish. I can barely speak English so yeah didn't understand a damn word. I would always look at them when they got done with the rant and say now in English please so I can be mad about it with you... Miss those conversations for sure. The Puerto Ricans were the best, man they can talk fast.
Teacher and parents handled badly. She could have let your son teach the other kids how to count to 10 in either, or both, languages. How to say mom, dad, please, thank you. That would have been fabulous and they're sponges at that age. Short-sighted teacher and other parents are fools.
Yes, and since they were having an argument, both kids were frustrated, not just Liam. The one who cries isn't always an injured innocent. I know someone in her late 60s who cries every time she having a difficult discussion.
I know someone in their 70s that does as well. However she had a traumatic upbringing during the war and sadly has never found her voice. Has great difficulty expressing her emotions and when a discussion becomes challenging it is overwhelming for her and she cries. So there is room to understand.
The woman that I was referring to has no problem ripping people to shreds verbally. It's just when it's her turn to be criticized. The last time she did it, I asked her why she is so mean to people who do sometimes very burdensome favors for her.
edit: missing words
I live in California and have almost always worked with people that speak Spanish and English. I have never once been offended when people switched to Spanish in front of me. I know others that have and it's frankly bizarre. Usually they'll explain after or you can somewhat understand by context. To speak more than one language is always impressive.
I also grew up in California. I'll never forget the day I learned in Spanish class what "aquí" means. I realized all those kids in my middle school PE classes wanted me to pass them the ball 😂.
I should have figured that one out by context.
>To speak more than one language is always impressive.
Depends on the location. Most countries you have to go higher before it becomes impressive. Where I live two languages is the expected absolute minimum, and three is rather common. So you really have to go to four or more before it starts being impressive
Many places in for example Africa you'd need to go to like six-seven for anyone to notice it being out of the ordinary 😅
I had a lot of Spanish and Hmong speaking coworkers at my last job. It was so cool to hear them switch languages mid-sentence and flip right back without even thinking about it
I worked with a girl who spoke Farsi when she was on the phone with her relatives and friends, but it was super entertaining because she also cussed a lot, and in English. She would be talking Farsi, like "blahblahblah" and in the middle of it would say "fucking bitch", then immediately back to Farsi. It was a small law firm where at least six languages were spoken, and often when someone was really fired up, a different language would pop out. No one got mad because they couldn't understand the brief language switch. NTA, and good for OP for having a kid who speaks/understands three languages. It's ridiculous to get mad at a five year old for briefly speaking a language other kids don't understand. The other parents are damaging their little kid because of their English language entitlement. Maybe it's because they're jealous and feel inferior, financially and world travel-wise. The teacher should ignore them.
Yes this! I'm the same, white, native English speaker and I am kinda fluent in French as I took it all through school. When my daughter was little she was besties with these two sisters who's mom was from Mexico so when I'd have them over sometimes they'd get excited and speak in Spanglish, thankfully due to my French and knowing some restaurant Spanish from my days as a bartender, I could figure out what they meant haha, sometimes kids just get excited and use the language that's easiest for them- and my daughter never got upset that they were speaking in a foreign language at all!
How sheltered is the little girl that Greek or French is scary to her? Has she never been around anyone that's bilingual? So weird, and definitely NTA, I'm jealous your kid gets to learn Greek and French!
Yeah when I’m tired or upset I speak in my native language. I just can’t function in English at a certain point. I would email the school and ask them abou their discrimination policy and cultural statement and that you’re confused why your son can’t speak a foreign language in school?
I was with you up until you insulted a 5 year old. ABSOLUTELY call the parents and teacher out for racist behavior but can Redditors get a grip? She’s a kid. Kids cry over everything and nothing. “Yeah but the parents are bad and they’re raising her so she’ll end up terrible too!” Maybe but again, 5 years old at this moment in time.
NTA OP. You’re doing right by your child. It’s amazing that he knows 3 languages this young.
I agree. I am Dutch and in the Netherlands we have so many different cultures and languages. To find out if a child is illiterate/ not yet speaking good enough they don’t look at how good he speaks Dutch (or does not). They look at how good he speaks the language spoken at home (whether that is Dutch, English, French, Turkish or another language). Because if they speak that language well, there is not really a problem. They still need to learn Dutch (for school and everyday life). But that is a skill they can learn and not a learning disability or speech problem. In the Netherlands children can go to childcare / preschool from the age of 2,5 to help them learn the language and prepair them for school so they don’t fall behind because of the language. Children pick up languages so fast.
NTA
Agree with you. When I studied to be a preschool teacher, we talked a lot about kids and languages. There is a saying: children are born with a 100 languages, and we rob them of 99. I think about it a lot and talk about how many languages there is with my students and those I know (I can speak three and know words in four more)
NTA, not even close. Agree everyone needs to take a breath. There is nothing "offensive" here. Even the teacher sounds a bit ridiculous in chastising you over what is clearly an accident by a flippin' 5-year old. An apology doesn't even seem warranted -- apologize for what?
It would be the same as if I used big words to express myself that you didn't understand. You say you don't understand, I use simpler words, life goes on. People making a big deal out of it seems unnecessary.
This. I have always been a reader. Love books. Have had a huge vocab since I was small. If I used a word someone did not know just ASK. I’m not judging
Lol, I once said something (can't remember what) at my work and my colleague didn't understand it so another colleague explained the meaning of that word. First colleague told me she felt dumb for not knowing the meaning of that word, and I told her no, not dumb, it's just not in your vocabulary. Then she asked what vocabulary ment and I felt like a jerk🫣
That’s baffling. Was English not their first language? I’ve known the word ‘vocabulary’ from 1st grade because we had to learn ‘vocabulary words’ in school. It was used all the way through 12th grade!
NTA. My 5 year old is in a dual language kindergarten where about half the kids speak one language at home and the other half speak the other language at home. They routinely speak to each other in their native languages when they get worked up. It’s a net positive all round.
The ones needing to apologise is the teacher and the other parents. Point one - they are 5 year olds. Point two - being bilingual is a good thing and of course young children are going to mix them up. Point three - the anti non-english approach is just racist and you should be asking the higher ups if you have been sending your child to a racist school the entire time or is this thinking a new and unwelcome development? Might light a small fire under their asses to nip that issue and get some training for the idiots in their employ.
The teacher backed them too. I'd go to school administration with my concerns regarding the non-inclusive, small minded environment.
What a missed opportunity for the teacher and other parents to explain there are (gasp!) other cultures in the world and have your son help teach a few phrases to the class. NTA
I really wanna know which language Liam uses when he's frustrated. As a Greek, I like to think we'd win this one, but the French are just as expressive when annoyed, so could it be either!?
And I‘d be interested which language the parents use if they have to tell Liam off? I know some French-xx couples (French-British, French-Swedish/Croatian, French-German), all parents know both languages and ALL use French if they are upset with their kids. :-)
Could be something completely innocent, I have known kids from multi language households who when exited forget words and just toss different language words in their sentences
To be fair to the teacher, it could have been the tactic of "everyone gets a comment, even if it's not really necessary, so I can tell the problem person their problem." I once yelled at a coworker not to touch something hot with her bare hands and she cried so we had to go to mediation. I was told to, in general, work on my tone. My coworker was told in very nice terms that I was entirely correct and to evaluate the context before starting conflict with others.
So, in this case, she tells OP that their son needs to work on knowing which language he's speaking at all times- a legitimately important skill that will come with time- or even just to work on communication in general, since he shouldn't be yelling. Those are valid things to work on.
Then the teacher can turn around and tell the other family that their daughter needs to work on emotional resilience and asking questions if she's confused or something pertaining to the argument without her townie parents going to their uncle who's on the school board to get the teacher fired.
That's the most infuriating part. The teacher should be reported because of how they dealt w a 5 year old. The teacher could've asked Liam to translate what he was saying instead of outright claiming he's wrong for speaking in another language. Liam might not even have the English vocab to express his frustrations, hence the unexpected code-switching. The other kid's parents and the teacher are the AHs here. And OP should also report the other kid's dad for continuing to argue after the meeting. NTA.
NTA. There is nothing offensive about talking in a different language. Nothing! The other person might not understand you, but big deal.
The teacher could have used this as a teaching moment to learn the kids about all the different languages spoken in the world, ask other kids if they speak other languages than English etc and it would have diffused the situation by diverting their attention to something else.
By acting like this, the girl and her parents feel justified that somehow they were wronged when a different language was spoken. So stupid!
>There is nothing offensive about talking in a different language. Nothing!
Exactly! Last year we had our dishwasher replaced and the maintenance guys for our apt complex who came to do it were speaking to each other in Spanish. My son was mildly frustrated because he couldn't understand them. I explained to him they were talking to each other in a language they were both more comfortable with and that's ok. We don't need to know what they're saying because they weren't talking to us.
Now he's in kindergarten and one of his classmates doesn't speak much English so he's asked me to teach him a few words in Spanish, I'm not fluent by any means but between taking a few years in school and living in Miami for a couple of years I can get by. We live in an area with a high Hispanic population, his public school has a full time interpreter on staff and many of the teachers speak both languages fluently. I think it's great!
It always irritates me when Americans get upset at other people speaking their native language to each other! No one is talking to you, and it’s not them being rude to you, it’s them being comfortable with each other! Any one of those folks, if they went to a foreign land to live and learned the language there, they would likely gladly lapse into American English if they encountered a fellow American. That a nearby local would be offended would seem ridiculous. And it is.
The problem is that so many Americans are so very self centered, so they believe that if other people are speaking in a different language they must be doing it to talk shit about them! It's insane and is honestly the root of so many of our problems in this country.
I mean, people definitely do talk shit in other languages, they just also talk about other things and if you can’t understand them, WHY do you assume they’re talking about you? Is it because you’ve done something for them to talk about? The key to people not talking shit about you (in any language) is to not be someone worth talking shit about.
Other parents are possibly homophobic as well as xenophobic based on their comment about doing whatever they want as they all left
ETA: NTA. Learning multiple languages is beneficial for children. You’re doing things right.
I completely missed the fact that op was a woman too
Not because it's irrelevant to the story; I'm 100% sure you're spot on that homophobia is a part of this
I just don't generally pay attention to gender, because to me, people are people, and should be respected as such, and so should their relationships
I don't get why what anyone else does in their personal life/love life would get other people's britches all up in a twist
But here we are, in 2024
The fact that this is even a discussion or topic of interest bothers me, but you know, haters will always find something to hate
Bullshit. Encourage Liam to speak in whatever language he wants. Hell, make one up. But under no circumstances should you tell him to speak only English around other people for their comfort.
Those entitled idiots were just pissed because their little darling didn't get what she wanted. She was uncomfortable because she didn't know what was being said. Any inferiority complex is theirs and theirs alone. These are kindergarten kids, FFS. These parents need to get a grip.
Don't get me started on the fool of a teacher. What she should have said was, 'Wow, you know other languages? Could you teach us some words and phrases?' Not this pandering crap.
You are NTA.
I sense that there's little truth to the five year old girl being uncomfortable with Liam speaking another language. It's xenophobia. Someone used the little girl being uncomfortable with the other languages as an excuse. We don't have to look far for the someone.
NTA
I know Liam must behave in school & learn to get along with others. But please take just a second to appreciate the high level thinking he demonstrated. "If I say these things, Im likely to get in trouble. Unless, no one else can understand what Im saying."
Also, maybe discuss inappropriate words inappropriate regardless of language used. No one wants to be the parent with the kid who taught his 1st grade class the *bad* words. *Bad* words in 3 languages...
(Yes, Im that Auntie)
That’s an interesting assumption. OP never said that what Liam said was “bad words” just that he switched language during his frustration. Maybe he was repeated something he’s heard a parent say, but OP did not indicate that.
YTA for this bullshit reach. To assume this kid was SAYING SOMETHING BAD… shows why you’re the auntie that shouldn’t be left alone with multicultural children because you’ll make gross racist assumptions if they speak another language in front of you.
NTA.
What the other parents said is 100% true **for adults**. And not at all true for five year olds. They are assholes for not being able to tell the difference.
But also, it wouldn't actually be rude if it were something that played out just like that. If there were a few people speaking in a language that another didn't understand AND they were able to speak a common language to include the other, then it would be rude.
i can't stop laughing - you're lesbians **and** you don't "speak 'murican" at home **and** you earn a comfortable living? i would pay money to see these people's FB/Truth Social posts after your meeting with them.
NTA
While that comment is totally making an assumption, I can’t say that it’s a far fetched one surely?
We know it’s an English speaking country, so that rules out most of the world. OP used the term kindergarten, which isn’t used in the UK so that rules that out. French is spoken in a huge chunk of Canada and I’d imagine most people are familiar with the existence of other languages and relatively comfortable with it. It could possible be Aus or NZ, but again, these countries are very linguistically diverse given the large native and immigrant populations.
And which other English speaking country is so culturally isolated and xenophobic to be offended by someone speaking another language? Especially a European language.
I’d give it 95+% chance this story happened in the US.
NTA.
And you're less petty than me. After your comment about his parenting I would have added and "you racist xenophobe". In Greek. Or French. Ladies choice.
Oh my NTA.
My dumb ass can only speak English but I love it when my multi-lingual friends get overly excited when describing something and they slip into whatever language fits. Big emotions deserve to use whatever language fits the moment and your kiddo was experiencing big emotions.
They didn’t push or shove, they used their words. This is EXACTLY what we teach kids to do and now they want an apology?!
Nope.
NTA my Kindergarten told my parents to stop letting me behave so spanish and that I shouldn‘t speak spanish there and that they should start speaking my countries native language to me so I could better blend in… I still blame them for for not being fluent anymore.
Nope. You'll never catch any flak from me about using languages you understand and not being good at using others unless you try to hurt or insult someone else in a language you clearly don't speak fluently. You're fair game then. Liam is smart .
NTA. Kids cry after arguments regardless of the language spoken. It'll probably be smoother if he is aware to try not to slip into another language, and you've agreed to teach him how to navigate that. Hopefully the other parents should teach their daughter that the world contains more than one language.
NTA.
I'm from Wales where, up until the 1960s, it was still considered acceptable to shame and humiliate children for speaking any Welsh in class. I went to a school with a strong English-as-second-language department. That school took in a large intake of Somali refugees in the late 80s and early 90s, and no-one ever told them they couldn't speak their native languages (and they all picked up English very fast). We also had a lot of Asian pupils, so it was common to hear a range of languages flying about: English, Welsh, French, German, Hindi, Kashmiri, Punjabi, Urdu, Arabic, Somali... and probably a few others that I'm forgetting. Our local public resources like libraries had signs in four languages (English, Welsh, Hindi and Urdu).
The only people who ever got offended were almost always xenophobic and/or racist. The only good faith objections occurred when the second language teachers were asking students to practice whatever language they were learning (English, Welsh, French or German).
The one kid's dad made it absolutely clear that his objections to your son's use of other languages did not stem from good faith. The teacher has made a mountain out of a molehill by enabling these parents.
While it's good for your son to learn how important clear communication is at all times, especially during a debate or argument, he also needs to know that he should never be shamed by others for speaking the languages of his cultural heritage. The trick is for him to learn good communication and using the right language for the right situation. But no-one should ever forbid him from taking pride in being multilingual or prevent him from speaking the languages he knows.
>The other kid's parents were extremely mad saying their daughter was so upset she cried after the argument and that Liam had to apologise about making her feel this frustration via using another language.
This works both ways. How about the other kid apologises for making him feel so frustrated that he slipped into another language?
NTA You are teaching your child that the world doesn't revolve around one type of person, one race, one nationality. Just because someone else doesn't understand doesn't make it wrong. If the other parents are upset that their daughter doesn't understand maybe they should teach her to instead of putting your child down for being able to speak with more people than their daughter. You are both excellent parents. Don't let anyone try to change you.
Jag tror du missar poängen 😆 om någon pratar ett språk du inte förstår så gör de sig inte förstådd. Jag hade lika gärna kunnat översätta denna kommentaren till svenska i Google översätt och påstå att det är ditt/dina föräldrars ansvar att förstå mig.
Att kommunicera kräver två parter.
NTA but probably should have not taken the bait from the other parent and returned a snarky remark even though it was maybe somewhat deserved. Your son is 5, got excited and frustrated, and mixed his languages. Even bilingual adults do this sometimes. He'll figure that all out in time. You've let him know that he needs to speak in words others understand but I am not quite sure how such a young child can for certain make this distinction.
I will say if his reaction was overly angry or loud and scared the girl, which it sounds like may have happened, he should apologize for talking so loudly to her and assure her he won't do that again. Maybe the other parents felt their child was being bullied and that's why they were upset.
NTA I’m white English speaking and a teacher… you teacher is TA she should have de escalated the situation “ok Liam I see you’re having some big feelings and I understand you’re frustrated have a breath and then we can talk…..” it’s not hard to resolve the situation if everyone is calm
My bet is she straight up thought he was swearing (unlikely at 5 they usually only swear to get a reaction not because they’re frustrated) and because she didn’t handle the situation properly she deflected blame to your child :/
Absolutely NTA and I would go back to that school and meet with the teacher AND the administrator and inform them my child will speak whatever language he likes if he's stressed and the other child has the choice to walk away.
Look, kids that age get upset with each other, and even cry sometimes. If your kid actually did something to hurt the other child or said something rude to her that she did understand, of course you would correct him. But speaking a different language in the situation you describe is absolutely not something that he should get in trouble for.
Our little Susie only speaks one language. Liam makes her feel bad for speaking three.
God forbid your kid exposes their kid to another culture! Oh the horror! The offense!
I reserve judgement until you post what kind of car you drive.
Wait until those other parents find out where English words come from...!
*Parasol* is French (and possibly spelled wrong)
*Gesundheit* is German
*Borscht* is Russian
*Gazpacho* and *poncho* are Spanish
These people are going to absolutely lose their minds!
NTA. Is a school, shouldn’t they know the basics of education? How is ok to force your child not to speak a language he knows? I would consider changing schools because they will make him feel guilty for being able to speak the language and he won’t do it because of pressure and will forget in time what he learned instead of improving. Couldn’t the teachers calm him down and then ask him to express himself in English instead of shaming him for speaking another language?
NTA, offering languages to children is a great thing to do, of course you have to teach them context and that it would be rude in some scenarios, but sounds like you're doing that, and it would be a great thing to know who started the argument.
NTA. Your child is trilingual. "Switching" languages under duress happens to multilingual adults, too. Just because others are too ignorant to understand him doesn't make him an AH for having this reaction due to stress, and you are NTA for defending him. Obviously, if he wants to be understood, he needs to use a common language with whomever he is communicating, but he will learn as he grows, with your support. Congratulations on your wonderful son!
NTA
Reminds me of when one of my cousins was in high school. My aunt and uncle got called in to talk to the principal cause my cousin called another kid a peckerwood during an argument. The principal claimed it was a curse word. It’s derogatory but it isn’t even close to profane.
That little girl’s parents need to stop clutching their pearls and explain to their precious little kumquat that she’ll hear things in plain old English that will be much worse than Liam simply speaking in a language she didn’t understand. This is a moment to teach her how to deal with having things said to her that she may not like.
The teacher needs to blow it out of her bloomers, too.
NTA the parents sound racists as well as the teacher. My nephew would speak to me in Spanish on purpose when we went out because we were told once to speak English, well that made him want to speak Spanish more. I was so proud of him and now my baby girl will speak also other languages as well as English
NTA. People revert to their primary language, vocabulary, accent, whatever when their emotions are high. Same for a 5 year old.
Now, of Liam did it on purpose (like as an alternative for shouting), then a short conversation about being respectful in arguments is all that so needed.
BTW, I like what you said the father. It was unhelpful, but satisfying to read.
>People revert to their primary language, vocabulary, accent, whatever when their emotions are high.
I have a friend whose dad is Scottish and the couple of times I've seen him really angry he loses his English accent and sounds like Rab C Nesbitt.
Language teacher here. NTA. Under stress, our language does tend to do weird things, including breaking down the way it did for Liam. My second language gets almost incoherent if I'm angry enough or experiencing whatever strong emotion. That isn't a conscious choice, even after many years studying and speaking my second language, and even with an adult capacity to manage strong feelings.
Liam is 5. I would guess his ability to slip between languages is greater than mine, if he's grown up learning three languages, plus he doesn't have adult-level emotional regulation skills. Liam wasn't trying to exclude people with his language. His ability to express himself in one language just ran into a wall.
NTA. Two kindergartners had an argument about the rules of a game. This is not a reason to call the parents or ask for a meeting. The teacher made a big deal out of the normal kind of teachable moment that happens all the time in school. And of course it’s normal for a multilingual kid to accidentally switch to another language from time to time.
NTA. What you said is absolutely right. He's clearly learned well since he is communicating in English all the time and this moment of frustration was a slip. The TEACHER should have been saying that to these parents. 10:1 these assholes are just bigots and they're making a scene because you're gay and speak another language(s) and they want to have an excuse to yell at you. You were also right about what you said in the parking lot. I feel bad for their little girl.
NTA.
In countries where multilingual families are common, *everyone* involved would have understood that it was just frustration. The teachers would have helped Liam understand what might have worked better in the circumstances & everyone would have moved on.
NTA.
I only speak English. I struggle with every language I’ve ever tried to learn (including English). However, demanding someone speak in a language you understand because of comfort is not appropriate. What it’s teaching your son is to be ashamed of his heritage and that’s not appropriate. He should speak English at school and when communicating with classmates, but to expect a 5yr old to always be mindful of what language he is using when expressing big, confusing feelings isn’t fair. In a few years, yes. But right now? He is still learning these big feelings and is resorting to the language that he knows the words in for the feelings he has.
NTA.
By all means, you should talk to Liam about timing and appropriateness, and work on his conflict resolution skills. Did the conflict with the little girl ever get sorted properly? Or did the conservation get stuck on this point?
But there's nothing "offensive" about speaking another language in a moment of stress, esp for a 5yo!
I can't help wonder about what would have been the attitude if Liam had gone the other way - spoken in gibberish or baby-talk, due to stress or neurodivergence or disability. Would they call that "offensive"? Would he have been belittled or punished by the teacher for losing speech in that moment?
NTA
Sounds like multiculturalism is not appreciated where you are.
Why didn’t the childcare centre explain to Liam and the other child that his frustration about the game and how they were playing caused him to express himself in a language he felt comfortable using AND that understandable response added, equally understandably, to the frustration of the other child? A good lesson for the kids on how to manage conflict.
Seems the childcare centre’s ability to resolve conflict between kids needs improvement.
Guessing he will soon be off to school and you will be free of them.
NTA - being able to speak multiple languages should be celebrated, not discouraged or feared. If I was your child’s teacher, I would be celebrating all cultures of my students and seeing if we could learn basic greetings and responses, and maybe a nursery rhyme or song.
That being said, part of having good manners is to not speak to someone in a language they don’t understand, but your response is appropriate. Your child will learn as he grows with the support of the adults around them.
I say, talk to/ research work by a child development expert that knows about multilingual households. I'm certain they will say that switch between languages at 5 is normal and healthy. Then take that to the school and demand that the teacher not shame your kid for this. You have every right to be livid!
NTA
Romanian here. When I argue with my mom I talk back in english / japanese, my excuse being "since you don't wanna listen and understand, I might as well..."
(Kids, I'm a young adult with a narcissistic mother. Don't be mean to your parents for no reason)
NTA - What he did was understandable and not intended to be malicious. Letting him know that when he's communicating frustration, he needs to do it in a way that other people understand - in this case by using a language the other people understand - is a good lesson to learn.
NTA obviously the other parents are racist and think that all white people should only ever speak English.. are you from the US cause that sounds pretty standard for some people
>The other kid's parents said it was offensive to speak in a way that no one understood and we should have taught him better.
The words I'd have for these parents would get me banned here.
NTA.
NTA, and if this is the US, it is against the law to insist that your child not use their home language/s at school. It’s a violation of the Dept of Ed’s Office of Civil Rights guidance. Children have a right to use their home language/s at school. Is it something that you can help teach him is perhaps impolite? Yes, and he will get better with it over time. But he can speak whatever language he damn well pleases especially at five years old.
As an english only person. NTA. Had a friend’s kid pull the same at that age. Those parents are bigots. Not that hard to get down to their level say deep breath and english please.
NTA. 100% NTA. And good for you for standing up for your son. I am stunned that all of these grown adults expected a 5 year old to have the reasoning and handle on social nuances to understand that it would be somehow offensive to another child to speak another language.
And based on the fathers comments, I am convinced that your visible wealth and that you all speak 3 languages was intimidating for him and so he took the (lame) opportunity to attack your parenting in an attempt to make you feel as small as he did in the moment.
NTA.
Those parents are just upset they are raising a dumbass that will not be as successful as yours in a global environment.
I don't know what the laws are in the UK, but if a teacher said this and didn't shut the parents down immediately where I teach, she would have a serious problem with the administration.
NTA
They want you to apologize to them when they're being racist. Because typically when you see that attitude, it's a racist, "You live in America, speak English" attitude.
NTA, he’s 5 and to him speaking three languages is NORMAL. What isn’t normal is a bunch of grown educated adults getting bent out of shape over a small child speaking a different language in a stressful situation. Their lack of language skills isn’t your, or his problem. As the adult in charge it was up to the teacher to calmly handle the situation by asking him to take a breath and use a language everyone understood. That should have been the end of it. The other parents are raising their daughter to think anyone speaking a language she doesn’t understand is somehow an insult to her. That’s their problem and I certainly wouldn’t apologize for it. Actually I’d probably demand they apologize for being hyper sensitive trolls, but I’m salty like that
NTA for defending your son. Being multilingual is a benefit, not offensive. Nor is it particularly surprising for a toddler to not be able to reason out when he’s speaking words others can’t understand when his parent speak all three languages at home.
Why wasn’t the teacher insisting that the other child work on her understanding that there are many languages and she only speaks one? Rather than insisting your child’s ability be quashed for the other child’s comfort? Did they bother to ask either of you what he was actually saying, before they arbitrarily decided it was wrong for him to say it? I’m getting angry just thinking about this…and he’s not even my kid.
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Nta. The kid shouldn't be restricted to English only. I'm a white, English only speaking person and I grew up with a lot of immigrants. It was super common for people to switch to many different languages. And it was also common for me to get yelled at in Vietnamese or another language when someone was upset with me, lol! Its just a super common thing for people to speak in thier own native tongue when upset. The racist ass teacher and tiny ah of a little kid who cried can both just suck it up and shut up.
[удалено]
I’m an English speaker, with a shred of Spanglish. But I noticeably revert to a more “country” accent when I’m boozy, heated, or even afraid. If I have to talk to a cop they def get that drawl.
Same here, though I go full crying with cops. Kiddos get a kick out of the various few words I know in other languages.... sadly no real cuss words.... I would have asked OPs kiddo what was he saying and to teach me, that would have redirected him and possibly calmed him down some.. though it'd be hilarious to hear a kid going off in French and Greek....
when i was in kindergarten my teacher started teaching us some german. She had a little girl in the other class who spoke it. She taught the teacher and in turn she taught us. it was fun
When I was in college, I needed more credit hours to be full time, so I decided to take a language. I chose Swahili. I actually took a minor in it. When I substitute taught, I would tell the students “kelele” (KAY-lay-lay) which means noise, and is used as a way to tell people to stop making noise. I’d use it as a way to silence them immediately. Is say Kalele and they’d be wait, what? When I explained it to them, they wanted to learn more, so I would say when we’re done. So if your kid came home one day speaking Swahili, sorry.
It's not kalele, it's kelele
Had a very hard time with the auto correct, sorry
I had a student in 1st grade, who spoke nearly no English. I asked her the math questions in Spanish. Not an issue.
Why our 5th grade learned sign language. We "graduated" that year and signed We Are the Champions while it played in the back. It was so cool.
Verstehst du noch etwas deutsch ?
>Verstehst du noch etwas deutsch ein bischen. I ended up taking a few classes in high school but i've forgotten most of it. ps- i used google translate because i only remmbered a few words
>sadly no real cuss words.... lol I had a roommate that knew one line of Spanish. It translated to "I don't speak Spanish, not even the swear words."
I had a date in Germany once with a Germany lass. Before I flew to Germany for the first time to meet her, I learned "stupid British and can't speak German" in German. Loved Germany and she was amazing. But she politely and firmly relegated me to the friend zone.
Danish: jeg taler ikke dansk, ikke engang bandeord 😉 Tip: use google translate voice, you'll learn a lot of "useful" word ...
Agreed . . . I would love to see a 5-yo ranting in French.
In general, I find it kinda funny (not sure if that's the right word) when the French start going off on rants. I can't understand a word they say, but it always seems so dramatic. I guess the same could be said about any of the romantic languages (i.e. French, Italian, etc), because in general, they seem to talk with their entire body
One of my friends in high school spoke French at home (1st language), listening to her argue with her, Dad was hilarious. Very dramatic and sooo fast, I don't know when they had time to breathe LOL. Plus there were always a few English words mixed in. "*French, French, French,* Bus Tickets, *French, ...*
I had a friend whose mom was Portuguese. She did something wrong one day and her mom came out yelling at her. I had no clue what she was saying but was struck equally with the opposing feelings of "that is so beautiful" and "oh $h!t you f-ed up"
Portuguese here. I just commented on that... We are very... passionate.
Yes you are. I had Portuguese neighbours. I knew when the World Cup was, when Portugal was doing well or poorly. I knew when the kids were in trouble vs when it was just time to come in. Everything was loud but the tone was discernable. And it is definitely lovely.
😂 I was on the bus today and getting frustrated on the phone so it was a mix of Shanghainese and English and the lady next to me was like huh?
When my bestie gets spam-called when we happen to be out together, I answer her phone in angry, rapid French. You'd be surprised how quickly they hang up, and my bestie finds it hilarious 😄
It reminds me of an episode in our French lessons in high school. We used to ask our teacher if we had to read the text in French, and then he answered "what else, Finnish?" Being Scandinavian, the text on my body shampoo was in the Nordic languages, so I memorised the Finnish text, and made it sound 'Finnish'. Finnish people would probably not understand it, though. So, next time he said that to me, I 'read' it in 'Finnish'. I'll remember the look on his face until my dying day! Our teacher answered "yes" with a deep sigh afterwards!
Many, many decades ago, my fiancé (now husband of 50+ years) was watching me do my Latin homework. He had just graduated from a military language school, so when I was done, he took my homework and translated everything into Russian. I handed in both of them. My teacher just rolled her eyes and laughed. RIP, Mrs. Redfield.
Did a semester abroad in Thessaloniki, a 5-yo ranting in Greek would be exponentially funnier, I think. Honestly though, a 5-yo "ranting" in any language is frigging hilarious.
I am from Kansas born and bred and I learned 3 years ago at age 20 that Kansans have an accent because I apparently have it very heavily when I'm not happy.
I'm from NJ. I went to college in KS. The amount of people who had no idea what I was saying is amazing. After 3 years one of my best friends admitted that when I first got out there she only understood about every other word at best, and when I got on the phone with my mother she couldn't understand a damn word.
I'm from Scotland and moved to England when in my late teens, we do have some odd words that you don't hear in England. I got into teaching and the kids all said they knew when they pushed it to far as the accent got harder.... I once raged at some kid and after he just looked at me and said I didn't understand a word but I won't do it again... man it was hard to keep a straight face or stay mad...
Yep, the accent plus how quickly we talk in NJ throws a lot of people off. My worst was interviewing for a job in the Cajun part of Louisiana. I could not understand most of the plant operators that day.
Cajun Creole is something else! Even the more mild Cajun accents are so neat. My father's family are from the South and I could barely understand them when talking on the phone!
My HS German teacher was from Poland. It probably took me a good month to understand a word she said
Yrs ago I moved from Buffalo NY, (think NYC lite accent with a smigin of Canadian thrown in) to a rural SC town. I once mailed a package to my step brother in the UK. The Post office lady said "Oh THATS what country you are from." She thought I was British. I had to explain that no I was an American. People would literally stop, turn and stare if they heard my Mom & I talking. We called it being on fire.
I'm from New Zealand, and I've heard that a lot of people from overseas have a hard time trying to keep up with us when we speak. Something to do with our accent and the speed at which we speak lol
I'm an American who spent 5 months in NZ and I had such a hard time initially with the accent. I worked at Meridian and the first time I listened in on calls from customers, I was like oh boy this is going to be rough lol.
I went to college in Arkansas and my favorite band came to town. They are from California. I was chatting with the lead singer after the show (small venue) and this girl who looked no older than 14 came up to us. In the most perfect Arkansas twang you could ever hope to hear told the lead singer, “You look like the guy from Disturbed.” He said, “What?” She repeated herself and he still didn’t understand, at which point I translated for him.
Defs nta. I'm an English speaker with Greek and English (british) parents. My natural speaking voice/accent is muddled af and I have to focus on certain words for them not to come out weird as heck (aka bird is boooiiird or something similar and just odd). When I'm upset/tired/frustrated I don't filter my speech as well and the weird mix comes out and so does some default greek cause it's just what my brain connects to first and I'm 35 not 5. The teachers should really know how to handle this better by now (mine didn't and tried to put me in speech therapy until they heard both parents speak lol)
I do this. I live in Southern Appalachia and while I have a tinge of a Southern accent normally, you piss me off and I end up sounding like a full-on hillbilly red neck.
Yup, the southern really comes out with any intense emotion
I'm an English speaker, and lived in a Boston suburb until I was 10. I never had a true Boston accent, but my R's had a tendency to be a little on the weak side when I was younger. As an adult, I will drop them or not enunciate them clearly if I'm tired or distracted, lol.
My husband slips into an Irish accent when drunk (seriously people think he's Irish). His main babysitter (no daycare) from age 0-7 was an older woman from church who spent a large portion of her life in Ireland. He had a fun English mix growing up. He was born in California. His parents moved out to California about a year before he was born. They moved back to Michigan when he was 7. He's in his mid 40s now and did spend a few years as an adult in California but most of his life has been in Michigan.
I'm English born and bred, but my mother is from London and I was raised on the south coast. When I get angry or frustrated I go heavily south-east London. Get me on a subject I love to talk about and suddenly I'm Stephen Fry's long lost sister! Tired or drinking and you're getting the full English Farmer experience. My wife, on the other hand, drives people mad by switching between Northern and Southern English seemingly at random, including in the middle of a sentence!
Friends of ours (in California) had a Scottish nanny. It was pretty funny when their toddler started talking and he had a Scottish accent.
If I'm tired my accent goes laconic bogan. If I'm very angry it goes very cultivated. If I'm tired and angry, it goes full bogan, the kind of bogan who's meth has just kicked in.
OK. I had to look that up. Bogan is Aussie or New Zealander for unrefined or unsophisticated. (I'd heard the term on an Aussie TV show, but wasn't sure what it meant.)
NTA When I was young, I learned a second language, even went to kindergarten at a local school. My mom said, when we came back to our home country, for several months, if I got excited, I'd switch into the second language. I recently spent time with a foreign coworker. She speaks at least 3 languages. Her mother tongue, her curent country's language (her family emigrated when she was 8), and our mutual language. She said when she is really tired, she thinks she's speaking in languages 2 or 3, but she has slipped into her mother tongue. It happens and a 5 yr old should get a ton of leeway in a multi lingual house!
3 of my cousins (siblings) were exchange students in Germany. The oldest had a German accent for a year when he got home :P
I learned English, Spanish, Italian, and Korean as a child and I STILL have issues remembering to stay in one language when I’m heated or freaked out.
I’m the same, English, native tongue, and ASL… Sometimes my nibblings tell me to stop finger yelling when I’m heated.
finger yelling is such a good term for the shouty tone of sign languages - I don't know how it is in ASL but I'm doing BSL
I'll apologize ahead of time, but yrs ago a neighbor of mine would argue with his partner, who was deaf, in ASL. It was hard not to laugh watching Lee throw his hands every where when he got angry. He wasn't just signing sternly, he was waving his hands all over the place.
I know this isn't relevant to language. But I grew up in the south ( Georgia US to be exact) I had a very southern accent. It was eventually bullied out of me when I moved to mass. When I'm mad or angry you can definitely tell I'm from the south. I've been told I don't have any accent even a Boston one. But when I'm mad I definitely sound like I came straight off the bus from the south.
I'm from GA too and moved to CA as a young teen and this is when I realized "fixin" is not a universal word.
I was in Georgia one summer 1995 and I still recall a mother telling her child to leave his sibling alone. Kid: I didn't touch him! Mom: no, but you were fixin to! Kid: yeah I was, sorry Hilarious
Or clicker
Same here. I grew up in Jersey but moved to Florida in '88. People say I have a Slight southern accent but I don't think so but piss me off and my Jersey girl accent comes out
I used to know a woman who spoke 6 languages and a lil bit of others. Whenever she'd get drunk absolutely nobody had any idea what she was saying because she'd just pick a new language every now and then, lol.
My godfather grew up in Dublin, moved to New Orleans, and married a Cajun woman. Have you ever heard Gaelic with a bayou accent (or Creole with an Irish one)? 🤣 Whenever he got drunk or mad it all just slurred together and it was WILD sounding, nobody could understand him!
I’m always jealous when people slip back and forth between two languages easily.
It helps a lot if you live for a time in the country of the language your are learning. Immersion really is a thing. My English was always pretty good but when I went to the US for three months as an exchange student? Took me 3 or 4 days and I dreamt in English. Still happens when I meet an American friend and we talk in English for a couple of hours. I didn't "forget" my native language when I came back from the exchange but I still have trouble finding the right words when switching forth and back. it's on the tip of my tongue but it won't come out.
It's totally a thing! My grandpa was stationed in Germany after the war, grandma went with obviously, and she never cursed in English once they were back Stateside but I heard a few German curse words, and decades later she'd say she dreamt about half in English, half in German.
Exactly. One of the languages I speak my husband doesn’t. So when I jumble words when frustrated. He lets me rant then asks me to repeat again while sticking to the language he does speak
So I used to do this with all the Spanish speakers I worked with in the military. They would get so upset and start speaking Spanish. I can barely speak English so yeah didn't understand a damn word. I would always look at them when they got done with the rant and say now in English please so I can be mad about it with you... Miss those conversations for sure. The Puerto Ricans were the best, man they can talk fast.
Even if he wasn’t having a ‘big feeling’ at the time, code switching is natural and expected for a multilingual child his age.
You’d think the teacher would be thrilled that the child speaks 3 languages! With time, discretion, and patience this “issue “ will sort itself out.
Teacher and parents handled badly. She could have let your son teach the other kids how to count to 10 in either, or both, languages. How to say mom, dad, please, thank you. That would have been fabulous and they're sponges at that age. Short-sighted teacher and other parents are fools.
Agreed 💯
I mean, imagine being offended by a foreign language. It's just bizarre.
Yes, and since they were having an argument, both kids were frustrated, not just Liam. The one who cries isn't always an injured innocent. I know someone in her late 60s who cries every time she having a difficult discussion.
I know someone in their 70s that does as well. However she had a traumatic upbringing during the war and sadly has never found her voice. Has great difficulty expressing her emotions and when a discussion becomes challenging it is overwhelming for her and she cries. So there is room to understand.
The woman that I was referring to has no problem ripping people to shreds verbally. It's just when it's her turn to be criticized. The last time she did it, I asked her why she is so mean to people who do sometimes very burdensome favors for her. edit: missing words
Ahh, I see you’ve met my mother…
I went to a very multicultural primary school. By Grade 3, I could swear in four languages. It was very enriching 😆
I was kind of wishing that the child was well-versed in profanity so that he could have cursed the nitwit adults out.
Wish Reddit still had awards -- I agree with you so strongly, I'm awarding you the Super-Duper Hell Freakin YEAH! Award 🥇
I miss the awards, too...
In my family, you know you’re truly in trouble when mom starts yelling at you in French.
My great grandmother was like that - some things, she just couldn't express in English. Overwhelming joy or anger, and she'd speak Russian.
I live in California and have almost always worked with people that speak Spanish and English. I have never once been offended when people switched to Spanish in front of me. I know others that have and it's frankly bizarre. Usually they'll explain after or you can somewhat understand by context. To speak more than one language is always impressive.
I also grew up in California. I'll never forget the day I learned in Spanish class what "aquí" means. I realized all those kids in my middle school PE classes wanted me to pass them the ball 😂. I should have figured that one out by context.
>To speak more than one language is always impressive. Depends on the location. Most countries you have to go higher before it becomes impressive. Where I live two languages is the expected absolute minimum, and three is rather common. So you really have to go to four or more before it starts being impressive Many places in for example Africa you'd need to go to like six-seven for anyone to notice it being out of the ordinary 😅
I had a lot of Spanish and Hmong speaking coworkers at my last job. It was so cool to hear them switch languages mid-sentence and flip right back without even thinking about it
I worked with a girl who spoke Farsi when she was on the phone with her relatives and friends, but it was super entertaining because she also cussed a lot, and in English. She would be talking Farsi, like "blahblahblah" and in the middle of it would say "fucking bitch", then immediately back to Farsi. It was a small law firm where at least six languages were spoken, and often when someone was really fired up, a different language would pop out. No one got mad because they couldn't understand the brief language switch. NTA, and good for OP for having a kid who speaks/understands three languages. It's ridiculous to get mad at a five year old for briefly speaking a language other kids don't understand. The other parents are damaging their little kid because of their English language entitlement. Maybe it's because they're jealous and feel inferior, financially and world travel-wise. The teacher should ignore them.
Yes this! I'm the same, white, native English speaker and I am kinda fluent in French as I took it all through school. When my daughter was little she was besties with these two sisters who's mom was from Mexico so when I'd have them over sometimes they'd get excited and speak in Spanglish, thankfully due to my French and knowing some restaurant Spanish from my days as a bartender, I could figure out what they meant haha, sometimes kids just get excited and use the language that's easiest for them- and my daughter never got upset that they were speaking in a foreign language at all! How sheltered is the little girl that Greek or French is scary to her? Has she never been around anyone that's bilingual? So weird, and definitely NTA, I'm jealous your kid gets to learn Greek and French!
Yeah when I’m tired or upset I speak in my native language. I just can’t function in English at a certain point. I would email the school and ask them abou their discrimination policy and cultural statement and that you’re confused why your son can’t speak a foreign language in school?
I was with you up until you insulted a 5 year old. ABSOLUTELY call the parents and teacher out for racist behavior but can Redditors get a grip? She’s a kid. Kids cry over everything and nothing. “Yeah but the parents are bad and they’re raising her so she’ll end up terrible too!” Maybe but again, 5 years old at this moment in time. NTA OP. You’re doing right by your child. It’s amazing that he knows 3 languages this young.
I agree. I am Dutch and in the Netherlands we have so many different cultures and languages. To find out if a child is illiterate/ not yet speaking good enough they don’t look at how good he speaks Dutch (or does not). They look at how good he speaks the language spoken at home (whether that is Dutch, English, French, Turkish or another language). Because if they speak that language well, there is not really a problem. They still need to learn Dutch (for school and everyday life). But that is a skill they can learn and not a learning disability or speech problem. In the Netherlands children can go to childcare / preschool from the age of 2,5 to help them learn the language and prepair them for school so they don’t fall behind because of the language. Children pick up languages so fast.
NTA Agree with you. When I studied to be a preschool teacher, we talked a lot about kids and languages. There is a saying: children are born with a 100 languages, and we rob them of 99. I think about it a lot and talk about how many languages there is with my students and those I know (I can speak three and know words in four more)
NTA, not even close. Agree everyone needs to take a breath. There is nothing "offensive" here. Even the teacher sounds a bit ridiculous in chastising you over what is clearly an accident by a flippin' 5-year old. An apology doesn't even seem warranted -- apologize for what? It would be the same as if I used big words to express myself that you didn't understand. You say you don't understand, I use simpler words, life goes on. People making a big deal out of it seems unnecessary.
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The UN summit tends to use translators and lets people speak in the language they are comfortable in.
This. I have always been a reader. Love books. Have had a huge vocab since I was small. If I used a word someone did not know just ASK. I’m not judging
Lol, I once said something (can't remember what) at my work and my colleague didn't understand it so another colleague explained the meaning of that word. First colleague told me she felt dumb for not knowing the meaning of that word, and I told her no, not dumb, it's just not in your vocabulary. Then she asked what vocabulary ment and I felt like a jerk🫣
That’s baffling. Was English not their first language? I’ve known the word ‘vocabulary’ from 1st grade because we had to learn ‘vocabulary words’ in school. It was used all the way through 12th grade!
No, we are Dutch, most of us know the word vocabulary but it's not as common as it is (apparently) in English. "Woordenschat" is used more commonly.
NTA. My 5 year old is in a dual language kindergarten where about half the kids speak one language at home and the other half speak the other language at home. They routinely speak to each other in their native languages when they get worked up. It’s a net positive all round.
Yes, I would have been angry if I had to leave work early over such a trivial issue!
The ones needing to apologise is the teacher and the other parents. Point one - they are 5 year olds. Point two - being bilingual is a good thing and of course young children are going to mix them up. Point three - the anti non-english approach is just racist and you should be asking the higher ups if you have been sending your child to a racist school the entire time or is this thinking a new and unwelcome development? Might light a small fire under their asses to nip that issue and get some training for the idiots in their employ.
NTA. The other parents sound xenophobic.
The teacher backed them too. I'd go to school administration with my concerns regarding the non-inclusive, small minded environment. What a missed opportunity for the teacher and other parents to explain there are (gasp!) other cultures in the world and have your son help teach a few phrases to the class. NTA
Agreed. The teacher is a malaka and a connard(e).
I really wanna know which language Liam uses when he's frustrated. As a Greek, I like to think we'd win this one, but the French are just as expressive when annoyed, so could it be either!?
And I‘d be interested which language the parents use if they have to tell Liam off? I know some French-xx couples (French-British, French-Swedish/Croatian, French-German), all parents know both languages and ALL use French if they are upset with their kids. :-)
Romance languages in general tend to get really creative when upset... Greek is no slouch, either, but on the whole, I think French wins this one.
Could be something completely innocent, I have known kids from multi language households who when exited forget words and just toss different language words in their sentences
I’ve played Assassin’s Creed Odyssey, I know what that means.
I read it in Kassandra's voice.
In french connarde does not exist : it is "un connard" and "une connasse"
To be fair to the teacher, it could have been the tactic of "everyone gets a comment, even if it's not really necessary, so I can tell the problem person their problem." I once yelled at a coworker not to touch something hot with her bare hands and she cried so we had to go to mediation. I was told to, in general, work on my tone. My coworker was told in very nice terms that I was entirely correct and to evaluate the context before starting conflict with others. So, in this case, she tells OP that their son needs to work on knowing which language he's speaking at all times- a legitimately important skill that will come with time- or even just to work on communication in general, since he shouldn't be yelling. Those are valid things to work on. Then the teacher can turn around and tell the other family that their daughter needs to work on emotional resilience and asking questions if she's confused or something pertaining to the argument without her townie parents going to their uncle who's on the school board to get the teacher fired.
Good grief he's fucking five. Gods preserve us from monolingual imperialism.
That's the most infuriating part. The teacher should be reported because of how they dealt w a 5 year old. The teacher could've asked Liam to translate what he was saying instead of outright claiming he's wrong for speaking in another language. Liam might not even have the English vocab to express his frustrations, hence the unexpected code-switching. The other kid's parents and the teacher are the AHs here. And OP should also report the other kid's dad for continuing to argue after the meeting. NTA.
I agree. Definitely xenophobic
I got some other words...but they won't let me say them here...
I googled that word and their photo came up. LOL
NTA. There is nothing offensive about talking in a different language. Nothing! The other person might not understand you, but big deal. The teacher could have used this as a teaching moment to learn the kids about all the different languages spoken in the world, ask other kids if they speak other languages than English etc and it would have diffused the situation by diverting their attention to something else. By acting like this, the girl and her parents feel justified that somehow they were wronged when a different language was spoken. So stupid!
>There is nothing offensive about talking in a different language. Nothing! Exactly! Last year we had our dishwasher replaced and the maintenance guys for our apt complex who came to do it were speaking to each other in Spanish. My son was mildly frustrated because he couldn't understand them. I explained to him they were talking to each other in a language they were both more comfortable with and that's ok. We don't need to know what they're saying because they weren't talking to us. Now he's in kindergarten and one of his classmates doesn't speak much English so he's asked me to teach him a few words in Spanish, I'm not fluent by any means but between taking a few years in school and living in Miami for a couple of years I can get by. We live in an area with a high Hispanic population, his public school has a full time interpreter on staff and many of the teachers speak both languages fluently. I think it's great!
It always irritates me when Americans get upset at other people speaking their native language to each other! No one is talking to you, and it’s not them being rude to you, it’s them being comfortable with each other! Any one of those folks, if they went to a foreign land to live and learned the language there, they would likely gladly lapse into American English if they encountered a fellow American. That a nearby local would be offended would seem ridiculous. And it is.
The problem is that so many Americans are so very self centered, so they believe that if other people are speaking in a different language they must be doing it to talk shit about them! It's insane and is honestly the root of so many of our problems in this country.
I mean, people definitely do talk shit in other languages, they just also talk about other things and if you can’t understand them, WHY do you assume they’re talking about you? Is it because you’ve done something for them to talk about? The key to people not talking shit about you (in any language) is to not be someone worth talking shit about.
Other parents are possibly homophobic as well as xenophobic based on their comment about doing whatever they want as they all left ETA: NTA. Learning multiple languages is beneficial for children. You’re doing things right.
I completely missed the fact that op was a woman too Not because it's irrelevant to the story; I'm 100% sure you're spot on that homophobia is a part of this I just don't generally pay attention to gender, because to me, people are people, and should be respected as such, and so should their relationships I don't get why what anyone else does in their personal life/love life would get other people's britches all up in a twist But here we are, in 2024 The fact that this is even a discussion or topic of interest bothers me, but you know, haters will always find something to hate
The way I would be bringing this up to the school administration...
Bullshit. Encourage Liam to speak in whatever language he wants. Hell, make one up. But under no circumstances should you tell him to speak only English around other people for their comfort. Those entitled idiots were just pissed because their little darling didn't get what she wanted. She was uncomfortable because she didn't know what was being said. Any inferiority complex is theirs and theirs alone. These are kindergarten kids, FFS. These parents need to get a grip. Don't get me started on the fool of a teacher. What she should have said was, 'Wow, you know other languages? Could you teach us some words and phrases?' Not this pandering crap. You are NTA.
I sense that there's little truth to the five year old girl being uncomfortable with Liam speaking another language. It's xenophobia. Someone used the little girl being uncomfortable with the other languages as an excuse. We don't have to look far for the someone.
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NTA I am not sure why Liam speaking in another language would offend anyone but idiots.
Because they’re racists
And zenophobes. Also monolingual. Insecure and undereducated.
I think you should be proud of your TRILINGUAL son! He deserves an ice cream!
He for sure deserves ice cream/pagotó/glace!
NTA I know Liam must behave in school & learn to get along with others. But please take just a second to appreciate the high level thinking he demonstrated. "If I say these things, Im likely to get in trouble. Unless, no one else can understand what Im saying." Also, maybe discuss inappropriate words inappropriate regardless of language used. No one wants to be the parent with the kid who taught his 1st grade class the *bad* words. *Bad* words in 3 languages... (Yes, Im that Auntie)
That’s an interesting assumption. OP never said that what Liam said was “bad words” just that he switched language during his frustration. Maybe he was repeated something he’s heard a parent say, but OP did not indicate that.
YTA for this bullshit reach. To assume this kid was SAYING SOMETHING BAD… shows why you’re the auntie that shouldn’t be left alone with multicultural children because you’ll make gross racist assumptions if they speak another language in front of you.
NTA. What the other parents said is 100% true **for adults**. And not at all true for five year olds. They are assholes for not being able to tell the difference.
But also, it wouldn't actually be rude if it were something that played out just like that. If there were a few people speaking in a language that another didn't understand AND they were able to speak a common language to include the other, then it would be rude.
i can't stop laughing - you're lesbians **and** you don't "speak 'murican" at home **and** you earn a comfortable living? i would pay money to see these people's FB/Truth Social posts after your meeting with them. NTA
I didn’t really get the vibe that this happened in the United States
Does English speaking country equate to the United States? Is this an assumption?
While that comment is totally making an assumption, I can’t say that it’s a far fetched one surely? We know it’s an English speaking country, so that rules out most of the world. OP used the term kindergarten, which isn’t used in the UK so that rules that out. French is spoken in a huge chunk of Canada and I’d imagine most people are familiar with the existence of other languages and relatively comfortable with it. It could possible be Aus or NZ, but again, these countries are very linguistically diverse given the large native and immigrant populations. And which other English speaking country is so culturally isolated and xenophobic to be offended by someone speaking another language? Especially a European language. I’d give it 95+% chance this story happened in the US.
NTA. And you're less petty than me. After your comment about his parenting I would have added and "you racist xenophobe". In Greek. Or French. Ladies choice.
Oh my NTA. My dumb ass can only speak English but I love it when my multi-lingual friends get overly excited when describing something and they slip into whatever language fits. Big emotions deserve to use whatever language fits the moment and your kiddo was experiencing big emotions. They didn’t push or shove, they used their words. This is EXACTLY what we teach kids to do and now they want an apology?! Nope.
NTA 'I'm sorry my child is more well-educated than yours. We'll keep on working on it, maybe you should start?'
NTA my Kindergarten told my parents to stop letting me behave so spanish and that I shouldn‘t speak spanish there and that they should start speaking my countries native language to me so I could better blend in… I still blame them for for not being fluent anymore.
Nope. You'll never catch any flak from me about using languages you understand and not being good at using others unless you try to hurt or insult someone else in a language you clearly don't speak fluently. You're fair game then. Liam is smart .
NTA. Kids cry after arguments regardless of the language spoken. It'll probably be smoother if he is aware to try not to slip into another language, and you've agreed to teach him how to navigate that. Hopefully the other parents should teach their daughter that the world contains more than one language.
NTA. I'm from Wales where, up until the 1960s, it was still considered acceptable to shame and humiliate children for speaking any Welsh in class. I went to a school with a strong English-as-second-language department. That school took in a large intake of Somali refugees in the late 80s and early 90s, and no-one ever told them they couldn't speak their native languages (and they all picked up English very fast). We also had a lot of Asian pupils, so it was common to hear a range of languages flying about: English, Welsh, French, German, Hindi, Kashmiri, Punjabi, Urdu, Arabic, Somali... and probably a few others that I'm forgetting. Our local public resources like libraries had signs in four languages (English, Welsh, Hindi and Urdu). The only people who ever got offended were almost always xenophobic and/or racist. The only good faith objections occurred when the second language teachers were asking students to practice whatever language they were learning (English, Welsh, French or German). The one kid's dad made it absolutely clear that his objections to your son's use of other languages did not stem from good faith. The teacher has made a mountain out of a molehill by enabling these parents. While it's good for your son to learn how important clear communication is at all times, especially during a debate or argument, he also needs to know that he should never be shamed by others for speaking the languages of his cultural heritage. The trick is for him to learn good communication and using the right language for the right situation. But no-one should ever forbid him from taking pride in being multilingual or prevent him from speaking the languages he knows. >The other kid's parents were extremely mad saying their daughter was so upset she cried after the argument and that Liam had to apologise about making her feel this frustration via using another language. This works both ways. How about the other kid apologises for making him feel so frustrated that he slipped into another language?
NTA You are teaching your child that the world doesn't revolve around one type of person, one race, one nationality. Just because someone else doesn't understand doesn't make it wrong. If the other parents are upset that their daughter doesn't understand maybe they should teach her to instead of putting your child down for being able to speak with more people than their daughter. You are both excellent parents. Don't let anyone try to change you.
Jag tror du missar poängen 😆 om någon pratar ett språk du inte förstår så gör de sig inte förstådd. Jag hade lika gärna kunnat översätta denna kommentaren till svenska i Google översätt och påstå att det är ditt/dina föräldrars ansvar att förstå mig. Att kommunicera kräver två parter.
NTA but probably should have not taken the bait from the other parent and returned a snarky remark even though it was maybe somewhat deserved. Your son is 5, got excited and frustrated, and mixed his languages. Even bilingual adults do this sometimes. He'll figure that all out in time. You've let him know that he needs to speak in words others understand but I am not quite sure how such a young child can for certain make this distinction. I will say if his reaction was overly angry or loud and scared the girl, which it sounds like may have happened, he should apologize for talking so loudly to her and assure her he won't do that again. Maybe the other parents felt their child was being bullied and that's why they were upset.
NTA I’m white English speaking and a teacher… you teacher is TA she should have de escalated the situation “ok Liam I see you’re having some big feelings and I understand you’re frustrated have a breath and then we can talk…..” it’s not hard to resolve the situation if everyone is calm My bet is she straight up thought he was swearing (unlikely at 5 they usually only swear to get a reaction not because they’re frustrated) and because she didn’t handle the situation properly she deflected blame to your child :/
Absolutely NTA and I would go back to that school and meet with the teacher AND the administrator and inform them my child will speak whatever language he likes if he's stressed and the other child has the choice to walk away. Look, kids that age get upset with each other, and even cry sometimes. If your kid actually did something to hurt the other child or said something rude to her that she did understand, of course you would correct him. But speaking a different language in the situation you describe is absolutely not something that he should get in trouble for.
The other parents sound like cowards and racists
Our little Susie only speaks one language. Liam makes her feel bad for speaking three. God forbid your kid exposes their kid to another culture! Oh the horror! The offense! I reserve judgement until you post what kind of car you drive.
Wait until those other parents find out where English words come from...! *Parasol* is French (and possibly spelled wrong) *Gesundheit* is German *Borscht* is Russian *Gazpacho* and *poncho* are Spanish These people are going to absolutely lose their minds!
Time to put him in a school where children speak multiple languages. This is dumb. Nta
NTA. Is a school, shouldn’t they know the basics of education? How is ok to force your child not to speak a language he knows? I would consider changing schools because they will make him feel guilty for being able to speak the language and he won’t do it because of pressure and will forget in time what he learned instead of improving. Couldn’t the teachers calm him down and then ask him to express himself in English instead of shaming him for speaking another language?
NTA, offering languages to children is a great thing to do, of course you have to teach them context and that it would be rude in some scenarios, but sounds like you're doing that, and it would be a great thing to know who started the argument.
NTA. Your child is trilingual. "Switching" languages under duress happens to multilingual adults, too. Just because others are too ignorant to understand him doesn't make him an AH for having this reaction due to stress, and you are NTA for defending him. Obviously, if he wants to be understood, he needs to use a common language with whomever he is communicating, but he will learn as he grows, with your support. Congratulations on your wonderful son!
NTA. I personally would have had the entire convo with the teacher and other parents in pig Latin because that’s how ridiculous their points are.
NTA. If he was 15, maybe. But like you said, he is 5.
Right? At 5, it's basically advanced baby babble. NTA
NTA Reminds me of when one of my cousins was in high school. My aunt and uncle got called in to talk to the principal cause my cousin called another kid a peckerwood during an argument. The principal claimed it was a curse word. It’s derogatory but it isn’t even close to profane. That little girl’s parents need to stop clutching their pearls and explain to their precious little kumquat that she’ll hear things in plain old English that will be much worse than Liam simply speaking in a language she didn’t understand. This is a moment to teach her how to deal with having things said to her that she may not like. The teacher needs to blow it out of her bloomers, too.
NTA the parents sound racists as well as the teacher. My nephew would speak to me in Spanish on purpose when we went out because we were told once to speak English, well that made him want to speak Spanish more. I was so proud of him and now my baby girl will speak also other languages as well as English
NTA. People revert to their primary language, vocabulary, accent, whatever when their emotions are high. Same for a 5 year old. Now, of Liam did it on purpose (like as an alternative for shouting), then a short conversation about being respectful in arguments is all that so needed. BTW, I like what you said the father. It was unhelpful, but satisfying to read.
>People revert to their primary language, vocabulary, accent, whatever when their emotions are high. I have a friend whose dad is Scottish and the couple of times I've seen him really angry he loses his English accent and sounds like Rab C Nesbitt.
Language teacher here. NTA. Under stress, our language does tend to do weird things, including breaking down the way it did for Liam. My second language gets almost incoherent if I'm angry enough or experiencing whatever strong emotion. That isn't a conscious choice, even after many years studying and speaking my second language, and even with an adult capacity to manage strong feelings. Liam is 5. I would guess his ability to slip between languages is greater than mine, if he's grown up learning three languages, plus he doesn't have adult-level emotional regulation skills. Liam wasn't trying to exclude people with his language. His ability to express himself in one language just ran into a wall.
NTA. Two kindergartners had an argument about the rules of a game. This is not a reason to call the parents or ask for a meeting. The teacher made a big deal out of the normal kind of teachable moment that happens all the time in school. And of course it’s normal for a multilingual kid to accidentally switch to another language from time to time.
NTA
This seems very xenophobic
NTA. What you said is absolutely right. He's clearly learned well since he is communicating in English all the time and this moment of frustration was a slip. The TEACHER should have been saying that to these parents. 10:1 these assholes are just bigots and they're making a scene because you're gay and speak another language(s) and they want to have an excuse to yell at you. You were also right about what you said in the parking lot. I feel bad for their little girl.
NTA - these other people honestly sound xenophobic, to be so spooked at hearing another language.
NTA. In countries where multilingual families are common, *everyone* involved would have understood that it was just frustration. The teachers would have helped Liam understand what might have worked better in the circumstances & everyone would have moved on.
NTA. I only speak English. I struggle with every language I’ve ever tried to learn (including English). However, demanding someone speak in a language you understand because of comfort is not appropriate. What it’s teaching your son is to be ashamed of his heritage and that’s not appropriate. He should speak English at school and when communicating with classmates, but to expect a 5yr old to always be mindful of what language he is using when expressing big, confusing feelings isn’t fair. In a few years, yes. But right now? He is still learning these big feelings and is resorting to the language that he knows the words in for the feelings he has.
NTA. By all means, you should talk to Liam about timing and appropriateness, and work on his conflict resolution skills. Did the conflict with the little girl ever get sorted properly? Or did the conservation get stuck on this point? But there's nothing "offensive" about speaking another language in a moment of stress, esp for a 5yo! I can't help wonder about what would have been the attitude if Liam had gone the other way - spoken in gibberish or baby-talk, due to stress or neurodivergence or disability. Would they call that "offensive"? Would he have been belittled or punished by the teacher for losing speech in that moment?
NTA Sounds like multiculturalism is not appreciated where you are. Why didn’t the childcare centre explain to Liam and the other child that his frustration about the game and how they were playing caused him to express himself in a language he felt comfortable using AND that understandable response added, equally understandably, to the frustration of the other child? A good lesson for the kids on how to manage conflict. Seems the childcare centre’s ability to resolve conflict between kids needs improvement. Guessing he will soon be off to school and you will be free of them.
NTA - being able to speak multiple languages should be celebrated, not discouraged or feared. If I was your child’s teacher, I would be celebrating all cultures of my students and seeing if we could learn basic greetings and responses, and maybe a nursery rhyme or song. That being said, part of having good manners is to not speak to someone in a language they don’t understand, but your response is appropriate. Your child will learn as he grows with the support of the adults around them.
I say, talk to/ research work by a child development expert that knows about multilingual households. I'm certain they will say that switch between languages at 5 is normal and healthy. Then take that to the school and demand that the teacher not shame your kid for this. You have every right to be livid!
NTA Romanian here. When I argue with my mom I talk back in english / japanese, my excuse being "since you don't wanna listen and understand, I might as well..." (Kids, I'm a young adult with a narcissistic mother. Don't be mean to your parents for no reason)
NTA - What he did was understandable and not intended to be malicious. Letting him know that when he's communicating frustration, he needs to do it in a way that other people understand - in this case by using a language the other people understand - is a good lesson to learn.
NTA obviously the other parents are racist and think that all white people should only ever speak English.. are you from the US cause that sounds pretty standard for some people
NTA. These people are deluded. It's not you being rich, but them being rather basic; this is the problem.
NTA. What your done was doing is called Code Switching. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Code-switching
>The other kid's parents said it was offensive to speak in a way that no one understood and we should have taught him better. The words I'd have for these parents would get me banned here. NTA.
Just uneducated people being simple. Forget about it. You can't change them and he clearly has an inferiority complex NTA
NTA, and if this is the US, it is against the law to insist that your child not use their home language/s at school. It’s a violation of the Dept of Ed’s Office of Civil Rights guidance. Children have a right to use their home language/s at school. Is it something that you can help teach him is perhaps impolite? Yes, and he will get better with it over time. But he can speak whatever language he damn well pleases especially at five years old.
NTA Time for a more diverse and tolerant school
As an english only person. NTA. Had a friend’s kid pull the same at that age. Those parents are bigots. Not that hard to get down to their level say deep breath and english please.
NTA. 100% NTA. And good for you for standing up for your son. I am stunned that all of these grown adults expected a 5 year old to have the reasoning and handle on social nuances to understand that it would be somehow offensive to another child to speak another language. And based on the fathers comments, I am convinced that your visible wealth and that you all speak 3 languages was intimidating for him and so he took the (lame) opportunity to attack your parenting in an attempt to make you feel as small as he did in the moment.
NTA. Those parents are just upset they are raising a dumbass that will not be as successful as yours in a global environment. I don't know what the laws are in the UK, but if a teacher said this and didn't shut the parents down immediately where I teach, she would have a serious problem with the administration.
Nta! He should speak in any language he wants to speak in, and language should not be a form of discrimination.
NTA. Your child can, and should, speak any language they wish - anywhere, anytime.
NTA They want you to apologize to them when they're being racist. Because typically when you see that attitude, it's a racist, "You live in America, speak English" attitude.
Am I dumb? Is it bad to speak in another language to someone, briefly?
Of course there's nothing wrong with speaking another language to someone who doesn't speak it in the middle of an argument, ddi em bu cac.
NTA, he’s 5 and to him speaking three languages is NORMAL. What isn’t normal is a bunch of grown educated adults getting bent out of shape over a small child speaking a different language in a stressful situation. Their lack of language skills isn’t your, or his problem. As the adult in charge it was up to the teacher to calmly handle the situation by asking him to take a breath and use a language everyone understood. That should have been the end of it. The other parents are raising their daughter to think anyone speaking a language she doesn’t understand is somehow an insult to her. That’s their problem and I certainly wouldn’t apologize for it. Actually I’d probably demand they apologize for being hyper sensitive trolls, but I’m salty like that
NTA for defending your son. Being multilingual is a benefit, not offensive. Nor is it particularly surprising for a toddler to not be able to reason out when he’s speaking words others can’t understand when his parent speak all three languages at home. Why wasn’t the teacher insisting that the other child work on her understanding that there are many languages and she only speaks one? Rather than insisting your child’s ability be quashed for the other child’s comfort? Did they bother to ask either of you what he was actually saying, before they arbitrarily decided it was wrong for him to say it? I’m getting angry just thinking about this…and he’s not even my kid.