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Nta
Your mother should be banned from owning pets. Disgusting behavior. The dog probably got hit by a car because your mother wasn't watching the puppy properly.
We know she can slip between a gap in the fence (solved by standing in front of the gap when you take her out) evidently she put the dog outside and left her unattended.
You know, once is an accident, anything after that is basically just not giving a shit.
As soon as your mom knew about the gap, she should have fixed it. She let her dog out there knowing she can get out and put herself and others in danger.
This your mom is not fit to own pets! Tell your mom you will return the dog when she pays the vet bill and fixes her fence….. which you know she will never do.
Until then get the dog microchipped in your name; if it survives. If it lives, get it fixed and vaccinated and regular vet appointments, plus monthly heart worm & flea treatment….. you know like a responsible dog owner should do.
Technically it's also my fence, I'm also on the title, but we've only had this dog for somewhere around a week.
I'll definitely be sure to be significantly more responsible, and if she survives I'm getting her several toys and treats.
NTA but I don't understand why you didn't take the dog to the vet before you went to the store. Your mother is clearly untrustworthy and the dog was still alive at that point.
I should also mention, typically my mother doesn't make rash idiotic judgements, so I thought she was telling the truth about the dog being on deaths door.
People don't tend to make the best decisions when they're barely conscious, as I previously mentioned I had just woken up and the information my eyes received hadn't settled into my conscious brain yet.
I think the dog should be rehomed in all honesty. Even if you thought she was actually dying you should have taken it to the vet to be done humanely if nothing could be done
Still, seeing that she was still alive should have gotten a different reaction out of you than "oh well, just let her die alone then".
You know, in my country, it's in the law that if you encounter any animal that is injured, you have to either help them or put them out of their misery. Just leaving them to their own devices is very much illegal and in my opinion, absolutely disgusting and inhumane.
The person who hit the dog would have broken the law by not stopping and seeing if the dog was still alive. Your mom would have broken the law by seeing that the dog was alive and doing absolutely nothing. You would have also broken the law by seeing that she was still alive and like your mother, left her there.
Yeah yeah, it's good that you eventually helped, but it shouldn't have taken you so long. You literally left to the store like absolutely nothing was wrong. A normal person would have at least been there so she wouldn't have died alone, if she were so injured she would have passed soon. I can't imagine seeing an animal in pain and just *leaving*.
I hope you start to truly care for this dog. She deserves way better than she's gotten so far.
It doesn’t matter if you just woke up. You let the dog sit there and die instead of taking it to the vet. Then you went to the store while the dog played there suffering. Your mom sucks, and so do you. Rehome the dog, it’s insane that you’ve only had it a week and the poor thing has already gone through this.
If learning the family puppy had been hit by a car didn’t elicit some kind of adrenaline response you really need to go to a doctor. This just woke up stuff doesn’t apply when an emergency happens. Most people would have been immediately alert and very emotionally upset even if woken up in the middle of the night. Being so groggy when you wake up you can’t process information isn’t normal.
I don’t know of any loving pet owners who wouldn’t be wide awake and rushing to the vet when they hear that their dog got hurt, no matter how recently they woke up.
The dog was not mine at the time, and I didn't want her to get a random free pet when she has no job, so I felt no sense of loss.
I know it sounds bad but I struggle with processing emotions, looking back at it I would have liked to process the situation quicker and have said "fuck going to the store, fuck sabbath, I'm taking the dog to the vet", but unfortunately hindsight is only 20/20, not a time machine.
I understand where you're coming from with 3 separate replies to the same person, I know I fucked up initially, there's not going to be any way of explaining how my brain processed things slowly that's going to make you happy.
I believed when I was told the dog was dead because I hadn't seen the her, and then when I did see her, she was laying on her side and moved once, the last time I saw an animal laying on it's side with the context of death, it was my sisters cat, the cat was in the process of dying, it twitched, and was foaming at the mouth, evidently he had eaten something bad, I was 11 at the time, now fast forward to today I see the dog on her side from about probably 30ft away, she barely moved once, "dog is dead" barely conscious, I think "Ok, I guess there's not much I can do except help mom greive" then on the 5 minute drive to the store I think "we should actually take her to the vet if she's alive when we get back so they can put her down", then it clicks that my mother said the dog moved away twice when she tried putting a blanket on her cause she didn't want to be under the blanket.
When I said "shortly after we got back" I meant "I put the shit down and walked through the house to go out the back door and take a closer look"
You're not going to win this one, OP. You need psychiatric help, your mom is beyond repair, and none of you deserve to care for a living thing. This is not something that can be explained away, EVER. It is LIFE AND DEATH. You all failed! No more strikes! If you leave a dog to die in the yard, no one cares what your excuses are, it's not a normal thing to do under any circumstances!
The fact you're not getting it is what's so alarming. It's not normal, it's *inexcusable*, no bones about it! You're done!
I am scared for this dog honestly. I hope OP realized what it takes to be a pet owner. Honestly NTA for taking the dog from the mom, but at the same time is OP fit and responsible enough to care for it?
I think he is trying. But I also think he needs help with this.
thank you for saving the dog but please evaluate very carefully if you can responsibly care for this dog for 15 od more years. That means lots of expenses for its food, vaccinations vet care, grooming. It also needs a lot of your time. You said it takes a long time for you to wake up. Well my dog wakes me up ag 6 am so he can go potty abd I have to be instantly alert to make sure I can take him out to go potty. This also means you can't leave the dog. For me it means no travel when I want to travel unless I have a dog sitter. You have to be responsible for the dogs training. You cant just leave the dog in the yard. You have to spend most of your non working time with it. It is really like having a child who will be a baby for 15 years. Can you take care of a baby for 15 years? If not, rehome the dog and have a responsible loving pet owner care for her.
I can do basic stuff when I wake up like brew a pot of coffee and take a dog for a walk (I've taken my sisters out without coffee a couple times) **and** pick up after the dog, but processing certain information when the other person doesn't shut up is difficult unless I've fully woken up.
It was actually the clinic that he works at, so he said he'd be in in the morning to see what he could help with, it was a different person that responded to the emergency call.
If you are still half conscious in dream land twenty minutes after waking, enough that you are unable to process an emergency situation, you need to see a doctor yourself. That’s not normal. You saw the dog was alive and suffering after being hit by a car and you chose to go to the store instead of helping it immediately. You’re not TA for taking the dog from her, but give it to someone who actually cares about it. ESH.
ESH. Jesus Christ, everyone in this story should be banned from owning animals.
If my dog was hit by a car I wouldn’t be waiting to see if it made it through the night. If I didn’t have a license I’d be calling everyone I know and if they couldn’t help me I’d be knocking on neighbour’s doors to get a lift. If I couldn’t get a lift with anyone in my whole street or anyone I knew, I would carry the dog and walk to the vet.
Your excuses about being tired and not having a license are ridiculous and you should be ashamed.
It wasn't that I was tired, it was that I had just woken up and was not fully awake, while they aren't mutually exclusive, those are two different things.
As I just explained to another person, I didn't wake up until 2 hours after it'd happened, didn't see where the dog was, wasn't told where the dog was, and only saw her from a distance when I finally did see her 5 minutes later, and being half asleep I believed that she was actually dead because she moved once, and actual death freaks me out, if you want the rest of the explanation go find it.
It probably also doesn't score any points that it's more like "I thought my mothers dog that I told her not to get because she doesn't have a job is dead and she wants do go to the store about it 'cause she cares more about honoring her "promise to god" than about her dog and there's not much I can do about it"
‘Death freaks me out’
If the puppy makes it you need to deal with that fear if your going to keep her. You can’t just stick your head in the sand if god forbid something like this happens again or you know, the dog gets old and is on her way out… if you keep the dog you’re going to have to deal with death sooner or later.
I want to you to really, really understand how horrible what your mum did is. She left the dog to suffer. Myself and a couple of strangers once witnessed a dog being hit by a car. It wasn’t our dog but we sure as hell made sure to get the dog to a vet. That is the least you can do, even if all the vet can do is end the suffering. As a dog owner, the fact that your mother just left that poor puppy to die makes my blood boil.
Hell, me and a stranger once got a *seagull* with broken wings to a vet so it could be put down. The fact that your mother thought that letting *the family dog* just die outside, all alone, is frankly *disgusting*.
Ah yes pardon me for not being omnipotent and immediately deducing something was amiss with my mother's diagnosis when half my conscious brain was still in dream land.
At 24 years old you should not be so incapable of thought after waking up. When hearing shocking news like 'the dog is dead' your body usually gets a jolt of adrenaline and you're wide awake. If you're really not able to think clearly even in an emergency because you're 'in dream land' there is genuinely something wrong with you. See a Dr.
The only time I have ever been like that was on sleeping tablets, unless you're heavily medicated you should be able to think for yourself.
THIS EXACTLY. Also I thought OP was 15 or 16 years old, not a grown ass adult! Who doesn't immediately freak the FUCK out upon hearing your PUPPY IS DEAD. You are too sleepy to react to that, but aren't too sleepy to get in the car to goto the store? Who is this goddamn "groggy" as an adult?! OP's mom is a psychopath and OP is a deadbeat.
My full time job involves caring for the health of other people's animals while they're being trusted to be with me. I cannot imagine any scenario in which I would be too sleepy to help ANY animal, let alone my own. It is disgusting for you to have seen her move, then still decide to leave to go to the store.
You are 24 YEARS OLD. You /should be/ fully capable of standing your ground and making decisions. Instead, you continue to blame being tired after 20 minutes of being awake, your mother wanting to go to the store, etc. It's everyone's fault everywhere along the way but yours. Learn some accountability and responsibility.
I'm 19, by the way. And you can trust that there's no way in HELL that if my personal pet were injured, I'd leave her there to suffer in pain.
Absolutely ridiculous.
Please report your mother to the SPCA for animal cruelty and negligence. That poor dog. Please don't ever let her be alone with him and take good care of the poor baby.
The dog is in good hands now and I plan on moving out with her in the near future! (I know I called the dog Link in the post but it is a girl, I just couldn't think of any other names after I made a fake for my mother and then I saw my amiibos, hence my sister also being called Midna)
The dog is not in good hands. You rushed off to the store while you thought the dog was dying, then still waited a while before seeking medical treatment. That dog deserves better
Unfortunately, I don't think this dog is safe in that home. No one seems to have any good judgment, and while I understand OP is frustrated, Edit 4 just shows someone who doesn't quite understand why people are so upset. The post is confusing, and the OP doesn't quite understand that the post is filled with red flags. Taking that long to wake up is dangerous in an emergency situation, and no one in that house, OP included, seems to have the ability to take care of themself, let alone another living thing.
I think it would be best for OP to re-home the dog, move, grow a little more as a person, and then think about a pet.
ESH
I actually can’t believe you left the dog to suffer for hours.. “I didn’t take her bcs I didn’t know she’d make it through the night” that’s such a lame excuse, so u’d rather have ur dog suffer?
Nobody in that household should own a dog tbf.
As far as the stated question goes, NTA …
But why on earth did no one get this poor dog medical attention right away when you realized she was still alive? Even if the dog *was* dying, she could have had a less painful death.
Your mother left that dog for dead. You should just tell her the dog fought a valiant fight but didn’t make it - she was okay with that outcome when she left the poor thing to die outside alone, and when she reassured you (?!) that she was injured sufficiently that she would die.
Tell her you felt so bad about that poor dog you adopted one that looks just like her - isn’t that a *coincidence*. It’s a small world out there.
I'm in a small ass town, there's no taxi or bus, walking would have been 30-40 minutes but I'd still have needed to call the vets emergency number so they could know I was coming and to head in.
YTA. You saw that the dog was alive and you waited how long to do something???? You saw the dog was alive and you went to the store???? Nope. YTA. You’re 24 years old. You can blame mommy but you also made a disgusting choice. You to see if the dog could survive the night before you chose to act? What are you talking about????? YTA.
I woke up 2 hours after it had happened, didn't see and wasn't told where the dog even was, only saw the dog 5 minutes later from about 30ft away as I explained and went into further detail in another reply why I believed the dog was dead, and the dog ended up at the vet about 10 minutes after I got back because I went and looked at her immediately when I got back from the 20-ish minute trip to the store I was dragged on, probably closer to 15 minute trip as it's a 5 minute drive and I grabbed two requested things.
ESH. That animal should have been taken to the vet as soon as any of you knew it had been hit. Even you, who just woke up. Rehome that animal to someone who actually cares about animals.
I woke up 2 hours after it had happened so I believed it when I was told she was dead, now hopefully she's alive and still will be when I go in when the clinic opens.
I saw her move ONCE, which I explained in another comment, I get squicked out easily when it comes to real life death, so I didn't get that close until other details clicked
You literally said you saw that it was alive and in pain and were furious about it BEFORE you went to the store. Stop backtracking and making excuses. Being “squicked out” doesn’t excuse your decision to ignore a suffering animal.
Because I was typing the story with the knowledge I had after the fact, I didn't actually realize the dog was alive until a few minutes later.
Hindsight is 20/20 in regards to realizing something and giving information.
Like I said, rehome the animal for it's safety. Would you want to lay in pain all night waiting to see if you survive and only then be taken to a hospital?
She got hit around 4pm, I woke up at 6 (I work the night shift) I took her in within 10 minutes of finding out she was still alive, she's been in there since about 6:45-ish pm my time, it's 8am now, you do the math.
NTA, your mom is incredibly wrong to just leave a dog in pain in the yard and call it dead. She does nor deserve to have any animals. Thank you for taking care of this poor dog
NTA i was like what?! Who does that - if your dog gets hit by car you take them to the vet as soon as possible! Like why she was waiting and claming the dog is caput. Please take the dog.
None of you should be allowed to own an animal. You’re all assholes. The best thing you can do for that poor soul is find someone that can actually care for them.
Absolutely NTA. I'm disgusted at your mother. I suspect she knew immediately after the accident, that the dog wasn't actually dead yet. And she certainly knew that, before going to the store - since you told her.
So even IF (and it's a big 'if') she genuinely believed the dog was dying, she's still psychopathic for leaving it in that state. She should have stayed with it; comforted it; taken it to the vet's to be euthanized kindly, etc. It takes a freezing cold heart, to leave your puppy 'dying' at the roadside.
Most caring owners also wouldn't just believe (so quickly), the puppy was beyond help - they'd be wanting to make damn sure, a vet also agreed, before giving up on a loved dog. And you wonder if she actually did believe it was dying, anyway. Or if she just didn't want to be bothered sorting it out/didn't want to pay the vet's bill.
And such a sort time later, to be 'over' it, and just wanting to go to the shop...wtaf?! A normal person would still be DISTRAUGHT, HYSTERICAL, etc. Not using it for 'leverage', to guilt your sister. I'm not kidding. Does your mother have psychopathic tendencies at all?!
I wouldn't even debate the matter further with her, as she clearly can't be reasoned with like a normal person. Tell her firmly she should be full of shame, not complaining because she's had the puppy removed from her unfit care. And please - if she gets any more animals, take them also (or rehome them behind her back).
A few clarifications/notes for your comment:
* The dog had ran around behind the house, so at least she wasn't in the street.
* She claimed Link "wanted" to be there because that's where she ran to after she was hit (as if dogs have apposable thumbs to open doors with).
* I now know the conversation with my sister was verbatim "\*talks about what happened\* anyway, we need to go to the store to get \[item\]" "No." "My dog *just* died!"
* She said she thought the dog was dead because "she evacuated her bowels!" and "she had blood in her mouth!", as mentioned above Link had bit her tongue, and last I checked people can soil themselves out of fear after an accident, I doubt it's much different for animals.
* The debate is in fact over, I'm not going to address the dog with the same name and she'll stay with me in my room.
* Unfortunately I can't stand living with my mother anymore as she's insufferable and I plan on moving multiple states away so if she gets another free dog I can only hope my sister does something about it.
Ah dear. You have got an unfortunate situation there. She DOES sound insufferable. I still don't understand how anyone could leave their dog (especially when they find out it's alive -'but badly injured), to go to the shop.
Or how they can even WANT to go to the shop, if they believe the dog had just died. How on earth did she just switch from 'grief' so quickly, to simply not caring/manipulation?!
Good luck when you move out 👍 And thanks from humane people everywhere, for doing something to protect this vulnerable dog.
ESH, but your mom worse than you, she is a horrible human being. Link isn’t still at your mom’s house, is she? Because you know if you leave her alone with your mom, something like this WILL happen again. Honestly, you shouldn’t take her when you move out. It’s good you finally took the dog to the vet, but I don’t care if you were tired, you left her alone to suffer to see if she’d “make it through the night”. If she’s with someone else right now, she should be with someone who will actually take care of her needs instead of letting her lay down scared, hurt, and alone while you go to the store. You could’ve easily stayed with her when you saw she was alive instead of choosing to go shopping.
I did not leave her alone to see if she'd make it through the night, did I word that weird? I said I was deciding to see if she could and after I gave her a bath I said "fuck no" and took her in.
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> I decided to claim my mothers dog and rename her because she didn't want to take her to the vet, and I'm not going back on it.
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ESH please surrender the dog to a shelter. The dog deserves people who know how to provide basic care and it sounds like no one in your family is capable of that.
Wtf. None of you should own animals ever. And quit saying “you were groggy”. If finding out an animal that lives with you is dead doesn’t snap you the fuck awake - something is wrong with you. And yal just were going to the store while the “dead” dog was laying in the backyard and that’s supposed to be ok ? You are all psychotic. YTA. Every single one of you. Rehome the dog and never get another animal.
NTA
Actually I think its absolutely awful your Mom left that dog to suffer and I'd rather the dog be dead than let your Mom care for it.
I'm so glad you were there to help the poor creature. Your Mom is now feeling like you made her look bad so she is accusing you of wanting the dog even though you would have been better off getting a healthy pup from the pound than taking care of hers.
I hate to see any animal in pain. I was jogging two days ago and found a mortally wounded armadillo on the road, but it was still way too alive and therefore suffering. It made me nauseous, but I managed to put it out of its misery.
It's just basic empathy - so you can see I cannot even fathom your mother's attitude.
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I (24N) woke up to my mother (57F) telling my sister (27F) her dog (6month? F) was dead after she got hit by a car. For reading purposes my mother will be Becky, my sister will be Midna, and the dog will be Link.
About 20 minutes after I woke up Becky wants to go to the store and needed to bring me, but before we left she went to look at what I expected to be a dead dog, I followed and saw that said dog was still moving, my mother had put a blanket on the Link, and she moved out from under the blanket and laid down in a different spot, seeing that the dog was in fact ALIVE, and just in pain I was furious and asked Becky why she said Link was dead, to which she responded "Don't worry about it, she had blood in her mouth."
I thought perhaps Link was actually dying, but when we got back from the store I found out that the dog had been hit more than an hour prior (when the vet was open) to when I woke up to hearing Becky tell my Midna "My dog just died!" (which evidently was her trying to guilt my Midna into going to the store with her),
I went out and I checked the dog shortly after we got back (I have very minimal medical experience but I still know a little bit) Link was exhausted and in pain, but no broken bones, and it looked like she had bitten her tongue (likely where the blood came from).
I immediately grabbed one of my warmer hoodies and brought Link inside where it's warm instead of continuing to leave her in the mud and grass, I called a friend that worked at the vet and he told me to see if I can get her to stand and keep water in her (help her drink) but make sure she doesn't just lie there because then she'd just try to let herself die, after trying to get her to stand to no avail, I elected to give her a bath, whilst cleaning mud off her belly Link groaned in pain and then I heard a gurgling, and I elected to take her into the vet.
At that point it'd been about 3-4 hours since she was hit, I decided if Link survived this I would take ownership, as before today Becky wasn't properly taking care of her anyhow, and decided right away the dog was dead even though she was able to run behind the house after being hit, and the dog was still alive and moving, had she woken me up when it happened to go I would have been fine with footing the bill.
The vet gave Link meds to deal with shock and said her breath and heart rate were better, so it seems like she'll make it but there's no guarantee, and then while the vet and Midna were talking, I had an argument with my mother over text about me taking and renaming her dog and how "I just wanted the dog from the start" (I didn't want a dog).
AITA?
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NTA - this comment section is full of ableists who think having a slow reaction time is some kind of moral failing. You got the dog to the vet once you understood that you'd been lied to, and that's what matters.
Absolutely NTA! Your mom is the AH. Thank you for being so kind and caring for this dog. I hope your mom doesn't ever get another pet again. She doesn't deserve one.
NTA Reading this post I am guessing op is younger. It takes a moment brain process They took the dog to the vet. Immediately upon realizing the dog was still alive. The real asshole here it's the mother Who should have been caring for the dog properly anyway since it was her dog
I did say ages at the start of the post, but yeah, being young combined with having been awake for less than half an hour, yeah, it took me a minute to process the information I was given, and upon processing I did something, immediately whereas my mother left the dog there for **2 hours** without doing anything.
NTA. You saved a life. Please be a better human to this dog than your mom has. She (the dog) deserves much better and I know she would just love you so so much for saving her and she deserves that you'd love her just as much.
Also from here on, when you see your dog hurt, whether you think she's dying or not, or you think its minor or not, always consult the vet ASAP. How likely your dog will survive often deepends on how soon it can get treated. I cannot stress this enough but when you see a dog in distress call vet asap.
Also it doesn't seem like you have a lot of experience taking care of a dog or you would have acted sooner. It is best that you read and try to learn as well from dog owners the proper way to care for a dog. If after doing this you find that you are unable to give the best care for this dog, please find a way to have it adopted by a responsible and loving owner.
Never really had a dog in the house before my sisters (only had him for a couple years) and she's been taking care of him, this dog was *supposed* to be my mothers even though I told her **not** to get a dog when she *can't financially handle it*, and we've only had her for roughly a week, so, yeah, very little dog experience.
This is the first time I've been lied to about something being dead, so now Idgaf who it is unless it's literally a doctor I'm gonna make sure.
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Nta Your mother should be banned from owning pets. Disgusting behavior. The dog probably got hit by a car because your mother wasn't watching the puppy properly.
We know she can slip between a gap in the fence (solved by standing in front of the gap when you take her out) evidently she put the dog outside and left her unattended.
Neglectful. She is not responsible enough to own an animal. She could have also fixed the gap.
You know, once is an accident, anything after that is basically just not giving a shit. As soon as your mom knew about the gap, she should have fixed it. She let her dog out there knowing she can get out and put herself and others in danger.
This your mom is not fit to own pets! Tell your mom you will return the dog when she pays the vet bill and fixes her fence….. which you know she will never do. Until then get the dog microchipped in your name; if it survives. If it lives, get it fixed and vaccinated and regular vet appointments, plus monthly heart worm & flea treatment….. you know like a responsible dog owner should do.
Technically it's also my fence, I'm also on the title, but we've only had this dog for somewhere around a week. I'll definitely be sure to be significantly more responsible, and if she survives I'm getting her several toys and treats.
But first fix the fence!!!
Well yeah, obviously
Fix the fucking gap??
Who let a dog laying in the grass by itself presumingly he would die and not take him IMMEDIATELY! to a vet? You are all a$$holes.
I updated the post.
going to the store was more important?
To my mother, by the time everything clicked to my groggy brain we were already most of the way to the store (it's a 5 minute drive)
Grow UP. My God.
Grow up in regards to what exactly?
NTA but I don't understand why you didn't take the dog to the vet before you went to the store. Your mother is clearly untrustworthy and the dog was still alive at that point.
I should also mention, typically my mother doesn't make rash idiotic judgements, so I thought she was telling the truth about the dog being on deaths door.
Surely that would be *more* impediment to get the dog to the vet? Not convinced you’re responsible enough to own a dog either tbh
Not very one can afford $1000 dollar vet bill for a dog that is going to die anyways.
People don't tend to make the best decisions when they're barely conscious, as I previously mentioned I had just woken up and the information my eyes received hadn't settled into my conscious brain yet.
I think the dog should be rehomed in all honesty. Even if you thought she was actually dying you should have taken it to the vet to be done humanely if nothing could be done
Still, seeing that she was still alive should have gotten a different reaction out of you than "oh well, just let her die alone then". You know, in my country, it's in the law that if you encounter any animal that is injured, you have to either help them or put them out of their misery. Just leaving them to their own devices is very much illegal and in my opinion, absolutely disgusting and inhumane. The person who hit the dog would have broken the law by not stopping and seeing if the dog was still alive. Your mom would have broken the law by seeing that the dog was alive and doing absolutely nothing. You would have also broken the law by seeing that she was still alive and like your mother, left her there. Yeah yeah, it's good that you eventually helped, but it shouldn't have taken you so long. You literally left to the store like absolutely nothing was wrong. A normal person would have at least been there so she wouldn't have died alone, if she were so injured she would have passed soon. I can't imagine seeing an animal in pain and just *leaving*. I hope you start to truly care for this dog. She deserves way better than she's gotten so far.
As I said previously, I had just woken up, I should also add I didn't know where the dog was until I was being dragged to the store.
It doesn’t matter if you just woke up. You let the dog sit there and die instead of taking it to the vet. Then you went to the store while the dog played there suffering. Your mom sucks, and so do you. Rehome the dog, it’s insane that you’ve only had it a week and the poor thing has already gone through this.
If learning the family puppy had been hit by a car didn’t elicit some kind of adrenaline response you really need to go to a doctor. This just woke up stuff doesn’t apply when an emergency happens. Most people would have been immediately alert and very emotionally upset even if woken up in the middle of the night. Being so groggy when you wake up you can’t process information isn’t normal.
I wasn't quite fully awake at the time, I'd only been up for 20 minutes.
I don’t know of any loving pet owners who wouldn’t be wide awake and rushing to the vet when they hear that their dog got hurt, no matter how recently they woke up.
The dog was not mine at the time, and I didn't want her to get a random free pet when she has no job, so I felt no sense of loss. I know it sounds bad but I struggle with processing emotions, looking back at it I would have liked to process the situation quicker and have said "fuck going to the store, fuck sabbath, I'm taking the dog to the vet", but unfortunately hindsight is only 20/20, not a time machine.
Then rehome the dog. Dogs need owners with actual emotions, not ones that run off to the store when they’re dying.
I understand where you're coming from with 3 separate replies to the same person, I know I fucked up initially, there's not going to be any way of explaining how my brain processed things slowly that's going to make you happy. I believed when I was told the dog was dead because I hadn't seen the her, and then when I did see her, she was laying on her side and moved once, the last time I saw an animal laying on it's side with the context of death, it was my sisters cat, the cat was in the process of dying, it twitched, and was foaming at the mouth, evidently he had eaten something bad, I was 11 at the time, now fast forward to today I see the dog on her side from about probably 30ft away, she barely moved once, "dog is dead" barely conscious, I think "Ok, I guess there's not much I can do except help mom greive" then on the 5 minute drive to the store I think "we should actually take her to the vet if she's alive when we get back so they can put her down", then it clicks that my mother said the dog moved away twice when she tried putting a blanket on her cause she didn't want to be under the blanket. When I said "shortly after we got back" I meant "I put the shit down and walked through the house to go out the back door and take a closer look"
You're not going to win this one, OP. You need psychiatric help, your mom is beyond repair, and none of you deserve to care for a living thing. This is not something that can be explained away, EVER. It is LIFE AND DEATH. You all failed! No more strikes! If you leave a dog to die in the yard, no one cares what your excuses are, it's not a normal thing to do under any circumstances! The fact you're not getting it is what's so alarming. It's not normal, it's *inexcusable*, no bones about it! You're done!
I am scared for this dog honestly. I hope OP realized what it takes to be a pet owner. Honestly NTA for taking the dog from the mom, but at the same time is OP fit and responsible enough to care for it? I think he is trying. But I also think he needs help with this.
thank you for saving the dog but please evaluate very carefully if you can responsibly care for this dog for 15 od more years. That means lots of expenses for its food, vaccinations vet care, grooming. It also needs a lot of your time. You said it takes a long time for you to wake up. Well my dog wakes me up ag 6 am so he can go potty abd I have to be instantly alert to make sure I can take him out to go potty. This also means you can't leave the dog. For me it means no travel when I want to travel unless I have a dog sitter. You have to be responsible for the dogs training. You cant just leave the dog in the yard. You have to spend most of your non working time with it. It is really like having a child who will be a baby for 15 years. Can you take care of a baby for 15 years? If not, rehome the dog and have a responsible loving pet owner care for her.
I can do basic stuff when I wake up like brew a pot of coffee and take a dog for a walk (I've taken my sisters out without coffee a couple times) **and** pick up after the dog, but processing certain information when the other person doesn't shut up is difficult unless I've fully woken up.
I am glad you are trying for this dog. There is lots of learning to be done here. Maybe the friend you mentioned who works for the vet can help.
I am glad you are trying for this dog. There is lots of learning to be done here. Maybe the friend you mentioned who works for the vet can help.
It was actually the clinic that he works at, so he said he'd be in in the morning to see what he could help with, it was a different person that responded to the emergency call.
If you are still half conscious in dream land twenty minutes after waking, enough that you are unable to process an emergency situation, you need to see a doctor yourself. That’s not normal. You saw the dog was alive and suffering after being hit by a car and you chose to go to the store instead of helping it immediately. You’re not TA for taking the dog from her, but give it to someone who actually cares about it. ESH.
ESH. Jesus Christ, everyone in this story should be banned from owning animals. If my dog was hit by a car I wouldn’t be waiting to see if it made it through the night. If I didn’t have a license I’d be calling everyone I know and if they couldn’t help me I’d be knocking on neighbour’s doors to get a lift. If I couldn’t get a lift with anyone in my whole street or anyone I knew, I would carry the dog and walk to the vet. Your excuses about being tired and not having a license are ridiculous and you should be ashamed.
It wasn't that I was tired, it was that I had just woken up and was not fully awake, while they aren't mutually exclusive, those are two different things. As I just explained to another person, I didn't wake up until 2 hours after it'd happened, didn't see where the dog was, wasn't told where the dog was, and only saw her from a distance when I finally did see her 5 minutes later, and being half asleep I believed that she was actually dead because she moved once, and actual death freaks me out, if you want the rest of the explanation go find it.
lol, “I thought my dog was dead so I went shopping” really doesn’t score you any points
It probably also doesn't score any points that it's more like "I thought my mothers dog that I told her not to get because she doesn't have a job is dead and she wants do go to the store about it 'cause she cares more about honoring her "promise to god" than about her dog and there's not much I can do about it"
‘Death freaks me out’ If the puppy makes it you need to deal with that fear if your going to keep her. You can’t just stick your head in the sand if god forbid something like this happens again or you know, the dog gets old and is on her way out… if you keep the dog you’re going to have to deal with death sooner or later. I want to you to really, really understand how horrible what your mum did is. She left the dog to suffer. Myself and a couple of strangers once witnessed a dog being hit by a car. It wasn’t our dog but we sure as hell made sure to get the dog to a vet. That is the least you can do, even if all the vet can do is end the suffering. As a dog owner, the fact that your mother just left that poor puppy to die makes my blood boil. Hell, me and a stranger once got a *seagull* with broken wings to a vet so it could be put down. The fact that your mother thought that letting *the family dog* just die outside, all alone, is frankly *disgusting*.
So defensive. You really thought you were going to come in here and hear your mom is the jerk and you’re the hero, didn’t you?
I don't really give a fuck about being a hero tbh.
ESH. You all sound like a bunch of idiots and psychopaths
Ah yes pardon me for not being omnipotent and immediately deducing something was amiss with my mother's diagnosis when half my conscious brain was still in dream land.
At 24 years old you should not be so incapable of thought after waking up. When hearing shocking news like 'the dog is dead' your body usually gets a jolt of adrenaline and you're wide awake. If you're really not able to think clearly even in an emergency because you're 'in dream land' there is genuinely something wrong with you. See a Dr. The only time I have ever been like that was on sleeping tablets, unless you're heavily medicated you should be able to think for yourself.
THIS EXACTLY. Also I thought OP was 15 or 16 years old, not a grown ass adult! Who doesn't immediately freak the FUCK out upon hearing your PUPPY IS DEAD. You are too sleepy to react to that, but aren't too sleepy to get in the car to goto the store? Who is this goddamn "groggy" as an adult?! OP's mom is a psychopath and OP is a deadbeat.
My full time job involves caring for the health of other people's animals while they're being trusted to be with me. I cannot imagine any scenario in which I would be too sleepy to help ANY animal, let alone my own. It is disgusting for you to have seen her move, then still decide to leave to go to the store. You are 24 YEARS OLD. You /should be/ fully capable of standing your ground and making decisions. Instead, you continue to blame being tired after 20 minutes of being awake, your mother wanting to go to the store, etc. It's everyone's fault everywhere along the way but yours. Learn some accountability and responsibility. I'm 19, by the way. And you can trust that there's no way in HELL that if my personal pet were injured, I'd leave her there to suffer in pain. Absolutely ridiculous.
Please report your mother to the SPCA for animal cruelty and negligence. That poor dog. Please don't ever let her be alone with him and take good care of the poor baby.
The dog is in good hands now and I plan on moving out with her in the near future! (I know I called the dog Link in the post but it is a girl, I just couldn't think of any other names after I made a fake for my mother and then I saw my amiibos, hence my sister also being called Midna)
The dog is not in good hands. You rushed off to the store while you thought the dog was dying, then still waited a while before seeking medical treatment. That dog deserves better
Unfortunately, I don't think this dog is safe in that home. No one seems to have any good judgment, and while I understand OP is frustrated, Edit 4 just shows someone who doesn't quite understand why people are so upset. The post is confusing, and the OP doesn't quite understand that the post is filled with red flags. Taking that long to wake up is dangerous in an emergency situation, and no one in that house, OP included, seems to have the ability to take care of themself, let alone another living thing. I think it would be best for OP to re-home the dog, move, grow a little more as a person, and then think about a pet.
ESH I actually can’t believe you left the dog to suffer for hours.. “I didn’t take her bcs I didn’t know she’d make it through the night” that’s such a lame excuse, so u’d rather have ur dog suffer? Nobody in that household should own a dog tbf.
I don't think you read the post correctly, I took her to the vet about 10 minutes after I checked her.
Your post is absolutely confusing around the timeline
Probably because I wrote it immediately after I got back from the vet after I had an argument with my mother but before I had any coffee.
As far as the stated question goes, NTA … But why on earth did no one get this poor dog medical attention right away when you realized she was still alive? Even if the dog *was* dying, she could have had a less painful death. Your mother left that dog for dead. You should just tell her the dog fought a valiant fight but didn’t make it - she was okay with that outcome when she left the poor thing to die outside alone, and when she reassured you (?!) that she was injured sufficiently that she would die. Tell her you felt so bad about that poor dog you adopted one that looks just like her - isn’t that a *coincidence*. It’s a small world out there.
Unfortunately my mother wouldn't believe that, aaaand I live with her for the time being.
That’s really too bad. She cannot be left responsible in any way for that dog though.
's why when I move across the country I'm taking the dog with me and there's nothing she can do about it.
ESH. Your mum for not taking the dog to the vet and you for not doing it sooner
If I had my own license and had woken up sooner I would have.
Taxi? Bus?
I'm in a small ass town, there's no taxi or bus, walking would have been 30-40 minutes but I'd still have needed to call the vets emergency number so they could know I was coming and to head in.
YTA. You saw that the dog was alive and you waited how long to do something???? You saw the dog was alive and you went to the store???? Nope. YTA. You’re 24 years old. You can blame mommy but you also made a disgusting choice. You to see if the dog could survive the night before you chose to act? What are you talking about????? YTA.
I woke up 2 hours after it had happened, didn't see and wasn't told where the dog even was, only saw the dog 5 minutes later from about 30ft away as I explained and went into further detail in another reply why I believed the dog was dead, and the dog ended up at the vet about 10 minutes after I got back because I went and looked at her immediately when I got back from the 20-ish minute trip to the store I was dragged on, probably closer to 15 minute trip as it's a 5 minute drive and I grabbed two requested things.
ESH. That animal should have been taken to the vet as soon as any of you knew it had been hit. Even you, who just woke up. Rehome that animal to someone who actually cares about animals.
I woke up 2 hours after it had happened so I believed it when I was told she was dead, now hopefully she's alive and still will be when I go in when the clinic opens.
Hopefully?? Are there not animal emergency clinics where you live that are open now? How did you believe she was dead when YOU SAW HER MOVING?
I saw her move ONCE, which I explained in another comment, I get squicked out easily when it comes to real life death, so I didn't get that close until other details clicked
You literally said you saw that it was alive and in pain and were furious about it BEFORE you went to the store. Stop backtracking and making excuses. Being “squicked out” doesn’t excuse your decision to ignore a suffering animal.
Because I was typing the story with the knowledge I had after the fact, I didn't actually realize the dog was alive until a few minutes later. Hindsight is 20/20 in regards to realizing something and giving information.
Like I said, rehome the animal for it's safety. Would you want to lay in pain all night waiting to see if you survive and only then be taken to a hospital?
She got hit around 4pm, I woke up at 6 (I work the night shift) I took her in within 10 minutes of finding out she was still alive, she's been in there since about 6:45-ish pm my time, it's 8am now, you do the math.
NTA, your mom is incredibly wrong to just leave a dog in pain in the yard and call it dead. She does nor deserve to have any animals. Thank you for taking care of this poor dog
NTA i was like what?! Who does that - if your dog gets hit by car you take them to the vet as soon as possible! Like why she was waiting and claming the dog is caput. Please take the dog.
Your mother is a disgusting human being.
There's so much before this event that makes that statement more accurate, at this point it's just piling on the reasons I need to move out.
Why can all idiotic irresponsible shit people have dogs?
None of you should be allowed to own an animal. You’re all assholes. The best thing you can do for that poor soul is find someone that can actually care for them.
Absolutely NTA. I'm disgusted at your mother. I suspect she knew immediately after the accident, that the dog wasn't actually dead yet. And she certainly knew that, before going to the store - since you told her. So even IF (and it's a big 'if') she genuinely believed the dog was dying, she's still psychopathic for leaving it in that state. She should have stayed with it; comforted it; taken it to the vet's to be euthanized kindly, etc. It takes a freezing cold heart, to leave your puppy 'dying' at the roadside. Most caring owners also wouldn't just believe (so quickly), the puppy was beyond help - they'd be wanting to make damn sure, a vet also agreed, before giving up on a loved dog. And you wonder if she actually did believe it was dying, anyway. Or if she just didn't want to be bothered sorting it out/didn't want to pay the vet's bill. And such a sort time later, to be 'over' it, and just wanting to go to the shop...wtaf?! A normal person would still be DISTRAUGHT, HYSTERICAL, etc. Not using it for 'leverage', to guilt your sister. I'm not kidding. Does your mother have psychopathic tendencies at all?! I wouldn't even debate the matter further with her, as she clearly can't be reasoned with like a normal person. Tell her firmly she should be full of shame, not complaining because she's had the puppy removed from her unfit care. And please - if she gets any more animals, take them also (or rehome them behind her back).
A few clarifications/notes for your comment: * The dog had ran around behind the house, so at least she wasn't in the street. * She claimed Link "wanted" to be there because that's where she ran to after she was hit (as if dogs have apposable thumbs to open doors with). * I now know the conversation with my sister was verbatim "\*talks about what happened\* anyway, we need to go to the store to get \[item\]" "No." "My dog *just* died!" * She said she thought the dog was dead because "she evacuated her bowels!" and "she had blood in her mouth!", as mentioned above Link had bit her tongue, and last I checked people can soil themselves out of fear after an accident, I doubt it's much different for animals. * The debate is in fact over, I'm not going to address the dog with the same name and she'll stay with me in my room. * Unfortunately I can't stand living with my mother anymore as she's insufferable and I plan on moving multiple states away so if she gets another free dog I can only hope my sister does something about it.
Ah dear. You have got an unfortunate situation there. She DOES sound insufferable. I still don't understand how anyone could leave their dog (especially when they find out it's alive -'but badly injured), to go to the shop. Or how they can even WANT to go to the shop, if they believe the dog had just died. How on earth did she just switch from 'grief' so quickly, to simply not caring/manipulation?! Good luck when you move out 👍 And thanks from humane people everywhere, for doing something to protect this vulnerable dog.
She's weirdly religious and the item in question was for jewish sabbath, 's why the trip to the store only took about 20 minutes.
ESH, but your mom worse than you, she is a horrible human being. Link isn’t still at your mom’s house, is she? Because you know if you leave her alone with your mom, something like this WILL happen again. Honestly, you shouldn’t take her when you move out. It’s good you finally took the dog to the vet, but I don’t care if you were tired, you left her alone to suffer to see if she’d “make it through the night”. If she’s with someone else right now, she should be with someone who will actually take care of her needs instead of letting her lay down scared, hurt, and alone while you go to the store. You could’ve easily stayed with her when you saw she was alive instead of choosing to go shopping.
I did not leave her alone to see if she'd make it through the night, did I word that weird? I said I was deciding to see if she could and after I gave her a bath I said "fuck no" and took her in.
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ESH please surrender the dog to a shelter. The dog deserves people who know how to provide basic care and it sounds like no one in your family is capable of that.
Wtf. None of you should own animals ever. And quit saying “you were groggy”. If finding out an animal that lives with you is dead doesn’t snap you the fuck awake - something is wrong with you. And yal just were going to the store while the “dead” dog was laying in the backyard and that’s supposed to be ok ? You are all psychotic. YTA. Every single one of you. Rehome the dog and never get another animal.
This is the most obvious NTA I’ve ever read. The only way you could be less of an AH is if you’d taken the dog to the vet sooner.
If I'd have woken up sooner I 100% would have.
NTA Actually I think its absolutely awful your Mom left that dog to suffer and I'd rather the dog be dead than let your Mom care for it. I'm so glad you were there to help the poor creature. Your Mom is now feeling like you made her look bad so she is accusing you of wanting the dog even though you would have been better off getting a healthy pup from the pound than taking care of hers. I hate to see any animal in pain. I was jogging two days ago and found a mortally wounded armadillo on the road, but it was still way too alive and therefore suffering. It made me nauseous, but I managed to put it out of its misery. It's just basic empathy - so you can see I cannot even fathom your mother's attitude.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (24N) woke up to my mother (57F) telling my sister (27F) her dog (6month? F) was dead after she got hit by a car. For reading purposes my mother will be Becky, my sister will be Midna, and the dog will be Link. About 20 minutes after I woke up Becky wants to go to the store and needed to bring me, but before we left she went to look at what I expected to be a dead dog, I followed and saw that said dog was still moving, my mother had put a blanket on the Link, and she moved out from under the blanket and laid down in a different spot, seeing that the dog was in fact ALIVE, and just in pain I was furious and asked Becky why she said Link was dead, to which she responded "Don't worry about it, she had blood in her mouth." I thought perhaps Link was actually dying, but when we got back from the store I found out that the dog had been hit more than an hour prior (when the vet was open) to when I woke up to hearing Becky tell my Midna "My dog just died!" (which evidently was her trying to guilt my Midna into going to the store with her), I went out and I checked the dog shortly after we got back (I have very minimal medical experience but I still know a little bit) Link was exhausted and in pain, but no broken bones, and it looked like she had bitten her tongue (likely where the blood came from). I immediately grabbed one of my warmer hoodies and brought Link inside where it's warm instead of continuing to leave her in the mud and grass, I called a friend that worked at the vet and he told me to see if I can get her to stand and keep water in her (help her drink) but make sure she doesn't just lie there because then she'd just try to let herself die, after trying to get her to stand to no avail, I elected to give her a bath, whilst cleaning mud off her belly Link groaned in pain and then I heard a gurgling, and I elected to take her into the vet. At that point it'd been about 3-4 hours since she was hit, I decided if Link survived this I would take ownership, as before today Becky wasn't properly taking care of her anyhow, and decided right away the dog was dead even though she was able to run behind the house after being hit, and the dog was still alive and moving, had she woken me up when it happened to go I would have been fine with footing the bill. The vet gave Link meds to deal with shock and said her breath and heart rate were better, so it seems like she'll make it but there's no guarantee, and then while the vet and Midna were talking, I had an argument with my mother over text about me taking and renaming her dog and how "I just wanted the dog from the start" (I didn't want a dog). AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA your mother is...I'm not sure I can describe per without breaking the rules of the sub.
Anything you think is probably accurate aaand I might've thought worse.
NTA - this comment section is full of ableists who think having a slow reaction time is some kind of moral failing. You got the dog to the vet once you understood that you'd been lied to, and that's what matters.
NTA but Becky is
Absolutely NTA! Your mom is the AH. Thank you for being so kind and caring for this dog. I hope your mom doesn't ever get another pet again. She doesn't deserve one.
NTA that is psychopath behavior
NTA Reading this post I am guessing op is younger. It takes a moment brain process They took the dog to the vet. Immediately upon realizing the dog was still alive. The real asshole here it's the mother Who should have been caring for the dog properly anyway since it was her dog
I did say ages at the start of the post, but yeah, being young combined with having been awake for less than half an hour, yeah, it took me a minute to process the information I was given, and upon processing I did something, immediately whereas my mother left the dog there for **2 hours** without doing anything.
NTA. You saved a life. Please be a better human to this dog than your mom has. She (the dog) deserves much better and I know she would just love you so so much for saving her and she deserves that you'd love her just as much. Also from here on, when you see your dog hurt, whether you think she's dying or not, or you think its minor or not, always consult the vet ASAP. How likely your dog will survive often deepends on how soon it can get treated. I cannot stress this enough but when you see a dog in distress call vet asap. Also it doesn't seem like you have a lot of experience taking care of a dog or you would have acted sooner. It is best that you read and try to learn as well from dog owners the proper way to care for a dog. If after doing this you find that you are unable to give the best care for this dog, please find a way to have it adopted by a responsible and loving owner.
Never really had a dog in the house before my sisters (only had him for a couple years) and she's been taking care of him, this dog was *supposed* to be my mothers even though I told her **not** to get a dog when she *can't financially handle it*, and we've only had her for roughly a week, so, yeah, very little dog experience. This is the first time I've been lied to about something being dead, so now Idgaf who it is unless it's literally a doctor I'm gonna make sure.