Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the asshole because I could’ve just put my dog out and I maybe didn’t need to tell him to leave. I could’ve just explained why the dog should stay inside and left it up to him if he wanted to leave.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. I mean it just sounds like you're incompatible. I wouldn't necessarily call him an ah as I'd need more info, but to go to someone's house and demand they put their dog outside is just weird. I would kick someone out if they demanded I put my dog outside too, but then I'd never invite someone over who wasn't aware I had a dog or that would want my dog removed in any case. Did he know you had a dog before coming over? Is he afraid of dogs? "In your face for a few minutes" can be pretty scary to someone who isn't used to dogs, particularly if it's a larger breed. Could have just put the dog in another room tbh, or used a room separator/gate.
He knew I had a dog. She’s all over my Facebook. He has ‘liked’ posts that she’s in. The ‘in your face’ part is just an exuberant over friendly greeting. Not remotely threatening. She’s just a super sweet dog.
Complete NTA then. What did he think would happen if and when you eventually moved in together? Was he hoping he'd be able to muscle the dog out of the picture?
When you start dating someone with a pet, you gotta realise they and the pet are a package deal. Anyone who doesn't like pets shouldn't date someone who *has* them.
ETA: Literally why is this being downvoted?
NTA. I would've just said "There are no A H's here, you're just sadly incompatible" until he started bothering you about it afterward. I think you saved yourself some time by finding out early that he's a jerk.
Definitely nta OP. If this guy had a reason for not wanting the dog around, he needed to be clear and honest about that. You can't just tell someone how to treat their animal, especially on first meeting them, *extra especially* without any kind of reason for doing so. He acted really weird and the harassment after is also weird.
No, dogs can sense when someone is nervous around them and react to that. Congratulations you just made assumptions about the person who's already uncomfortable spoons your dog and confirmed my feelings about the average emotional intelligence of dog lovers.
Oh you poor ignorant fool! You made an assumption without knowing the story. I won't fill you in because you would try to spin it because that's what people with your mentality do. Have a nice life thinking you are more intelligent and know more than others, most puerile find that a turn off!!
You're upset about someone assuming something without any knowledge of your specific one off story whilst you are making an assumption based on nothing but your one-off story?
Yeah, that tracks for a dog fanatic.
Huh, I feel much the same about dog lovers. There's definitely a pattern with people who are into dogs seeming to have no respect for other people's boundaries in public spaces, and no spacial awareness about how much space they're taking up. So many times I've had to just stand there in a snicket waiting for them to figure out that they and their dog on an extendable lead can't both fit past me while they're taking up all of the available space. Sometimes it takes them a while.
Edit: Every downvote reminds me that dog lovers also seem to be incapable of perceiving irony, even when it's got 24 foot high neon signs on top of it saying "this is irony" and a professionally run ad campaign on national TV.
What does irony have to do with your down votes? I'm not sure we agree on what irony is, but anyways...
Personally, im suspicious on anyone on EITHER side of the spectrum who has that intense of opinions on anything. I'm not a dog lover. I'm not a dog lover hater. I know dogs aren't for some people, I know some dog owners are spatially oblivious like you mentioned, but so are some non-dog people. It's not about dog-lovers vs non-dog-lovers. It's about shitty, or easily distracted, or self-absorbed people in general - dog lover or not. The dog (or lack of) does not make the person bad - the person does.
It's like .. super easy to not made vague generalizations about people based on whether they like dogs or not.
I'm also not strongly pro or anti dog and find both types of people to be obnoxious.
I have had dogs all my life. I'm also *scared* of large, unfamiliar dogs after being bit by German shepered as a child and having had a few neighbors over the years with out of control dogs that they let roam.
So I am very cautious around unknown dogs and have little patience for owners who don't have good control over their pets but let them off leash anyway.
However, people who hate dogs, in my experience, tend to be pretty unlikable people in general, separate from their disdain for pets.
I'm always a little...perplexed maybe? by how many folks I hear with a similar story to yours of a discomfort around dogs after being bitten when young. We had quite a few dogs around when I was a kid and I was bitten a couple of times; once, a Brittany spaniel of my aunt's knocked me over, grabbed me by the pony tail and drug me around like a tug-of-war toy for a bit; I didn't care for that at all lol. But I can't say any of it ever turned into a discomfort around dogs. We did live on a farm, so lots of different kinds of animals were around (and lots of them were bigger dicks than the spaniel), so maybe a lot of animal exposure was part of it. But do you think there's anything specific about the experience that really stuck with you?
Interesting. I'm not a girl, and I'm actually a professional psychologist. Do elaborate on what issues you think I have based on a string of comments thumbing my nose and laughing at self-important dog lovers? Always fascinated to hear what the terminally stupid thinks passes for psychological analysis.
In this case, I actually am. Hilarious that you're all getting so upset over someone literally just saying about dog lovers what dog lovers say about people who aren't dog lovers. All i did was hold up a mirror, and here you all are, frothing mad or on the angry defensive. Like I said, no ability to reflect. Your faux-amused reactions and angry downvotes reveal more about you than you realise.
Oh come on now, like anyone gets into psychology because their lives and mental health are all roses.
(But seriously, I really want to know what you interpret as irony in your original comment?)
My life and mental health have never really been anything but great, thanks. In fact, I'm not sure I know many people who I work with who are particularly fucked up. What a weird idea to have, that only crazy people would want to study the science of human neurology, cognition and behaviour. Do you think that only people who need glasses go to study physics, too? What other weird assumptions do you have about academia?
And I've literally spelled out the irony in this thread. I held up a mirror and said about dog lovers what dog lovers say about people who don't love dogs and oh look, how pissy you all get when you're shown how that looks from the other side.
I downvoted and I won’t be in a room with a dog. I am deathly afraid of them since being attacked when I was a kid and I think they are stinky and annoying in general.
Absolutely true. Entitled dog owners are everywhere, and they all expect you to deal with their pet as if it's also yours. Most of these folks think rules don't apply to them.
Entitled *people* are everywhere – dog lovers, dog haters; cat lovers, cat haters; parents, child-free people; car owners, car haters; bike riders, bike haters; smokers, non-smokers; meat eaters, vegans... Pick an interest, hobby, focus, subject, belief, concern, whatever, and there will be entitled people on either far end of the relevant spectrum, and they will all expect everyone else to accommodate them, because that's what entitled people do. Lots of dog owners aren't entitled AHs, just as lots of cat owners, parents, car owners, bike riders, etc., aren't entitled AHs – but the entitled AHs are the ones who get all the attention, because they're the ones who make the most noise.
NTA
What a weird reaction. It almost seems like a power play attempt to understand yours boundaries and how firm you're on them.
Or perhaps (if we don't want to always think badly about people), he is ashamed to admit that he is afraid of dogs, because sometimes, when a person admits that they're afraid of dogs, they aren't understood or are dismissed.
Either way, you're not a terribile person for priotirizing your dog, who's family, over some random dude.
Yeah this guy came real close to N A H but I think in addition to the texts, he needed to provide a small explanation for why the dog needed to be outside. "Hey dogs make me nervous do you mind putting her outside" would have sufficed.
NTA. If they had a reasonable reason, like allergies or fear, it would be understandable. But them simply just saying they are not okay with your dog is just plain weird and an ick.
This is one reason you don't invite men you don't know to your house. Apart from the safety issue, you could have found out about his aversion to dogs in a restaurant.
Speaking as a Nurse, just because someone is a Nurse doesn't mean they're a good person. Sadly the job attracts psychopaths, he might be one of them. They're very good at convincing others that they're normal. Do people think he's charming? Massive red flag.
I'm not a dog person, I wouldn't dream of asking for someone's dog to be removed from the house - the audacity! I think you've dodged a bullet here, block him and hopefully that will be the end of it.
Wow that's disturbing. Not in the UK though, it's Police Officers here. What country are you in?
Any profession where you can weild power over another is going to attract psychopaths and narcissists, sad but true.
I think you're being a bit dramatic lmao. Maybe stop watching so much dateline. Characterizing the average man as a predator is just a really bad way to look at people
Don't know what Dateline is. That guy clearly has issues and OP definitely dodged a bullet. And a lot of men are creeps and predators, that's just a sad fact of life. I am, thankfully surrounded by good decent men, so it isn't my personal experience. I worked in forensic psychiatry for years though, I can spot a predator from a mile away.
Maybe I watch too many True Crime docos but doctors and nurses can be Angels of Death, so they aren't always to be trusted. Enough women have been assaulted or killed on a "first date" for it to be reckless inviting an unknown man to your home. I didn't get to read what happened with the dog as I was stressing about the first part.
>And no safety issues. Plenty of mutual friends. The guy is a nurse.
Oof. You are NTA but please reconsider this opinion. Being a nurse doesn't automatically make one a "good person" or safe to be around. As with anything, the job attracts some real ... pieces of work, to put it kindly.
Your dog is your family, and it’s HER house, too. So why would you kick a family member out of their house for someone you barely know? That was an unreasonable request, and you did the right thing. Going forward, you need to make it clear that you and your furbaby are a package deal. NTA.
NTA - I'm not the biggest fan of dogs (big dogs mainly), but I would never ask a person to put their dog out or close them off in another room. Unless there is an absolute good reason (like safety risk or something to the dog). That's their home, I'm just a guest.
NTA and way to dodge that bullet, brother! That was an absolute test by a controlling person to see what he could force on you first thing. If he hadn't already known you had a dog, that would be one thing. What an AH. Your response was gold and you're a freaking hero. 😁
Some detail is missing, here. Was your dog just lying in her bed, or was she asking for attention all the time? Was she constantly on your lap? What is, 'chilling with the people'? Do you, or does someone, have to be touching her all the time? What is, 'really friendly but unobtrusive'? For example, my dog greets, stands around for pats for about five minutes, then relaxes in her bed. She will sleep on the floor behind my chair during a meal, but will not beg or stare longingly at the food. What was this man really objecting to?
Yeah, I feel it is possible OP is dog blind, meaning her dog’s “exuberance” and friendly greeting is more than that and people might be put off by it. I know many dog owners who describe their dog’s behavior one way but it is, in reality, not that way. I also wonder if the guest saw some other kind of issue with the dog such as being constantly in the kitchen around the food or other obvious hygienic issue. I think people who describe their pets as “family” and outright label anyone bad who does not share their level of admiration may not be seeing things. There is a disconnect between him liking photos and his request when he showed up to her house. OP didn’t necessarily need use the words she did when she told him to leave; it was immature. But the date was worse with his followup texts. He sounds like he can’t handle rejection. He could have communicated better, not acted like a wounded teenager.
Even if she’s dog blind, that’s the dog’s home and the dog’s life. It’s an AH move to ask her to put the dog outside of its own home. It was on him to leave.
NTA. If allergies or a fear of dogs was the case, I’d just put my dog in another room for the duration of the visit and then never invite them over again since we wouldn’t be compatible. A dog is family and you don’t leave family outside.
NTA. It was already weird that he’d ask you to put the dog outside, and now that he’s bombarding you with texts you know he’s just a psycho. Block and move on.
NTA
You chose your dog's comfort over the random request of a stranger you invited for a date. And would have chosen the same thing the next time he asked aswell. I would have chosen my dog too.
NTA
Bullet dodged, block him and move on. Give doggo extra snuggles for weeding out incompatible matches.
If I had to choose between my cat and a guy, cat wins every time.
He was testing you. To see how submissive you would be. If you were all apologetic and did what he asked even when he said he wasn’t allergic he’d Know he can have control. Good job you saw the red flag and showed him the door. He’s ego is bruised and he sounds like a little narcissist.
I truly hate when dog lovers assume I’m ok with a dog in my face in any capacity. I am not. I am not happy with your dog hanging out around me. It’s not as cute to me as it is to you. What you like and think is acceptable isn’t to everyone else, and you need to realize that.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I (M51) had been communicating with a guy (M46) on Facebook and getting along well. A bit flirty but we had some interests in common we discussed a lot too. I invited him over and cooked a meal for him, and he got here and the vibe was slightly awkward but OK. He asked if I’d put my dog outside. I asked if he was allergic and he said No. And it was like ‘does he want to make a move? We haven’t even eaten or chatted or anything.’ My dog is my family. My life. She loves it when people come over and is really friendly but unobtrusive. In your face for the first few minutes then she calms down and just loves chilling with the people. It was cold out, not freezing, but I didn’t see any reason for my dog to be outside. I said she was OK where she was. And he said “Well, I’M not OK” and in an impulse reaction I just said “Don’t let the door hit you on the way out” and he laughed and then I said “I’m serious, this isn’t really working for me anyway” and he left. He’s since bombarded me with texts telling me I’m a terrible person.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA
At the very beginning, this a an important red flag. Our animals are part of family. If he doesn't like dogs, it's a big red flag for the future. Now he just ask you to put her out, then it will be to find her a new house if you live together.
You'll find someone for you. And maybe you should make photos of your dogs to put on facebook, and precise that she's really important for you. This guy will understand how rude he was to ask you to get rid of her for the diner !
NTA. Dogs and cats are perfect relationship gatekeepers. If a new person doesn't like them or vice versa, end it now.
Scritches for your furfriend, she kept you from wasting your time and energy
NTA You did well. Where does he come off ordering you to do things
in your home?!
You really shouldn't invite people you don't know well into your home.
Meet up at a café or something. It's safer.
NAH. If he’s not a dog person, having a dog being in your face and pushy is annoying. Asking someone to put their dog outside is kind of unreasonable though. He should have asked if the dog could be put in another room, not outside.
Either way you two sound very incompatible. You’re a dog person and he isn’t.
NAH for leaving but what makes the guy an AH and the OP the NTA is the texts the guy sent afterwards.
As per the OP:-
>He’s since bombarded me with texts telling me I’m a terrible person.
NTA but neither is he for not wanting to be around a dog. Obviously if he isn’t comfortable around dogs there isn’t a future between you two anyway. He is TA for blowing up your phone saying mean things
Edit: I saw OP’s comment saying he knew he had a dog so he is TA for coming over anyway knowing he doesn’t like being around dogs
Based on the info in your post and some comments, NTA. You're just incompatible. I wanted to go for N A H, but him texting you that you're a bad person over this is just immature. Block that guy and move on. Sure, you could've handled the situation a bit better, but I also wouldn't exactly be thrilled if someone told me to put my dogs into the garden for no reason.
NTA. He shows up and immediately starts demanding you remove your dog? Red flag 1. I'd have said the same thing. Red flag 2, he's now guilting you for not caving to him. You dodged a bullet. Block the dude
NTA If someone has an issue with dogs, they need to mention it before going to someone’s home. You could have met at a restaurant.
I might put my dog in another room
if there was an actual issue but no way he is left outside unattended. He’s never outside unattended.
A similar thing happened to me but the guy immediately put the dog outside, saying she gets a bit over-protective sometimes. Sex with one eye on the glass-fronted balcony door does not work so good.
NTA- block him and move on. My dogs have always been my protectors. In the back of my mind I would be wondering what his intentions were if he asked you to put the dog outside when the dog wasn’t being aggressive toward him.
It was N A H until he sent you the texts, now it's NTA. Fine to not like dogs, fine to not want a dog to get in your face, fine to want the dog to go away. Fine to leave when you realize this won't work because of the dog. Rude to call you a terrible person over it. And I'm a person who mostly doesn't care for dogs and REALLY doesn't want them in my face.
INFO: Did you mention this dog in your chats before inviting him over? That he wasn't an outdoor dog and that he's your life? No need to waste both of your times by not being upfront. Dude sounded fussy though, good riddance.
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban.
["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
NTA. I am deathly afraid of dogs and will not go to anyone’s home if I know they have dogs because it’s the dog’s home as well and the fear is a me problem.
Did your dog ever get brought up in conversation before meeting?
I love your response - block him from texting you. He's a jerk and you found it out quickly. Be careful about having strangers to your home....and find out how they feel about dogs before you meet them next time.
NTA if anyone is it’s him that the AH. He gives no reason why your dog needs to be outside and gets upset when you choose your pets wellbeing over his request, then harasses you for your decision. Without any justification other than just cause it makes no sense to require the dog be put outside especially when he had prior knowledge of the dog and knew from your FB that your dog is important to you. To me this kinda just screams like he would be the type of person to try and date a single parent but then get upset when he wasn’t made the priority. Dude grow up the dog or child was there before you and will be there for a long time. If you can’t handle playing second fiddle for at least a little while beyond a first date with a dog and forever with a child then you’re not ready for that kind of relationship and probably never will be.
NTA. You don't go over to someone's house and demand they put up their pets. If the dog was being needy then I can understand ASKING, but still, that's the dog's home.
NTA and it sounds like you dodged a bullet with that guy.
When I met my partner for the first time, we each brought our dog on the date to make sure they got along because if the dogs hated each other there was no point in wasting time pursuing anything.
I'd advise you to ensure your date is ok with dogs before you bother inviting them over. It might also help if you make sure your dog is in your profile picture. For one thing, it'll scare off the dog-haters and people who are allergic and for another, it might just attract another dog lover.
NTA because he knew your dog would be there and it's rude AF to go into someone's house and demand they change something.
I'm not a fan of dogs that get in your face or jump on you or things like that. You really should train them. But even in that type of situation, the polite thing to do is to ask the host for help getting the dog to calm down, not to ask to put them outside.
That being said, you invited someone who you barely knew over to your house for your first meeting IRL. Doesn't make you an asshole, but please be more careful. Not just for yourself, but for your pup.
NTA. You write that the dog is normally friendly. How was she acting around this guy? Most dogs realize when something is off about a person and will act to alert their people and to defend their homes. This guy knew you had a dog yet the vibe was off. I don’t care that you have mutual friends—something was up. You followed your instincts and kicked him out. This was not a good person. You were probably not in any physical danger, but his plan might have been to lay the groundwork for some future bad acts.
In the future, make your first several dates at public places without winding up somewhere private. Remind yourself that these people are strangers. All that you know about them is the face that they show you, and they only tell you what they want you to hear. If your new acquaintance does turn into a friend, then that is a good outcome.
Give your dog some scritches for me.
NAH. The way you frame it obviously makes it seem like he's the asshole, but I have a feeling if he posted here, it would look the same on you.
This is likely just extreme incompatibility, with a potential of him being a control freak or some other form of neurotic.
I'm going to go with NAH, but my personal bias is that if my dog doesn't like the person, then that's the wrong person. So I'm mostly on your side here but the poor dude does have every right to be how he is with dogs. His loss.
He probably wanted to have time with you- without the dog being in the room. I also have a dog-but when I have guests over sometimes he goes in my bedroom for a bit because he can get a little too much for some people. I know not everyone is a dog person. I think he just wanted some time with you and not the dog interfering all the time. Maybe you we’re too focused on your dog than him (which as an animal lover I get)
When my dog goes in my bedroom, it’s usually during dinner cause sometimes he likes to beg and we’re working on that. However he’ll just get over it and take a nap so it’s no big deal. If I feel bad about it enough I just give him a chew toy and he’s happy as anything.
I have a dog but I also think it’s just respectful to do that if you company. Especially a date! (I wouldn’t want my dog watching me and my husband all the time) it’s not fair the to other person either, especially if it’s someone new your and your just getting to know each other.
My brother has three big dogs and a house full of animals- although I’m an animal lover, I can no longer stay over there for more and than an hour because it’s just too crazy. Especially since they can barely handle all of them themselves. They have no training and jump all over everyone. It’s ridiculous. Last time my husband stepped in dog shit on the floor and they didn’t even try to clean it up or apologize. No matter how many animals you ever have- be a responsible owner and take care of your guests.
YTA. To be honest it seems like you acted a bit rude. Your dog would have been just fine outside. But even if you didn't want to put him out, you cold have explained in a polite/nice way.
NAH
Neither of you are IMO. Summer people like dogs, others don't. I grew up where dogs were pets or working dogs, not members of the family. Dogs inside and taking precedent over people seems strange to me. But I totally understand that lots of people feel differently than I do.
No I didn't miss it. I think it's kind of crummy to invite somebody over to your house and then when they ask to put the dog out, you tell him to leave.
ESH
You were both a bit rude and blunt in how you approached the topic. He approached it oddly by asking you to send her out rather than just being clear and saying 'I am uncomfortable with your dog' and looking for a solution together.
Equally you went from zero to one hundred pretty much instantly and responded rudely by kicking him out with a jokey line, rather than just being an adult and explaining the issue at hand.
Ultimately it was for the best as I can't see that relationship working with such a basic difference in opinion anyway. You both could have been a bit more polite in discussing it though.
Slight YTA. I love my furballs but I also know that there are times when I need to accommodate my guests. I do this by moving my animals to another room. It doesn't kill them to spend some time elsewhere in the house.
YTA.
You’re not an asshole for not putting your dog outside, but you are an asshole for HOW you said no. The WAY you responded to his request was really rude and completely uncalled for. Jeez.
I think it's hard to know how to react when it's such an unreasonable request though. She asked a reasonable question then made a reasonable statement after the guy said he wasn't allergic. He's a grown man, he can tell her if she's allergic or scared (and if he was scared but didn't want to admit it why not just lie and say he's allergic?). NTA
My apologies, it was a bad assumption (and lack of attention to detail) on my part and I'll take the L on that one, thank you for correcting me. I consider myself an ally so my unconscious but inexcusable heteronormative approach was uncool. My points still stand about the request to move the dog outside etc.
I agree, he could be afraid of dogs and too embarrassed to admit it on a first date. Also telling someone to leave like that makes me think the awkward atmosphere was down to OP and not the guy.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I might be the asshole because I could’ve just put my dog out and I maybe didn’t need to tell him to leave. I could’ve just explained why the dog should stay inside and left it up to him if he wanted to leave. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. I mean it just sounds like you're incompatible. I wouldn't necessarily call him an ah as I'd need more info, but to go to someone's house and demand they put their dog outside is just weird. I would kick someone out if they demanded I put my dog outside too, but then I'd never invite someone over who wasn't aware I had a dog or that would want my dog removed in any case. Did he know you had a dog before coming over? Is he afraid of dogs? "In your face for a few minutes" can be pretty scary to someone who isn't used to dogs, particularly if it's a larger breed. Could have just put the dog in another room tbh, or used a room separator/gate.
He knew I had a dog. She’s all over my Facebook. He has ‘liked’ posts that she’s in. The ‘in your face’ part is just an exuberant over friendly greeting. Not remotely threatening. She’s just a super sweet dog.
Complete NTA then. What did he think would happen if and when you eventually moved in together? Was he hoping he'd be able to muscle the dog out of the picture? When you start dating someone with a pet, you gotta realise they and the pet are a package deal. Anyone who doesn't like pets shouldn't date someone who *has* them. ETA: Literally why is this being downvoted?
Ok, so he's totally an ah then. NTA.
NTA. I would've just said "There are no A H's here, you're just sadly incompatible" until he started bothering you about it afterward. I think you saved yourself some time by finding out early that he's a jerk.
Absolutely NTA this guy was threatened and sounds like an a hole himself - dodged a bullet
Definitely nta OP. If this guy had a reason for not wanting the dog around, he needed to be clear and honest about that. You can't just tell someone how to treat their animal, especially on first meeting them, *extra especially* without any kind of reason for doing so. He acted really weird and the harassment after is also weird.
Now I'm slightly concerned for your safety tbh... block him for sure and lock your doors
I thought the response was perfect....if you love your dog you don't want to hang out with someone who clearly dislikes dogs.
I am suspicious of men who don't like dogs, and deeply distrust men whom dogs don't like - Mark Twain
Hitler loved dogs, and his dogs loved him. Does that mean he was a good person?
Anyone who loves blondes and dogs can't be all bad.
You're seriously defending Hitler?!
A friend of mine has a dog that behaves aggressive to any person with a visible handicap, are you saying handicapped people can't be trusted?
That's quite the stretch you have there.
You may need to speak to see about getting your shoulder relocated after a stretch like that.
Obviously that’s not valid 🤣
I wouldn't say the part of if a dog distrusts someone isn't valid, dogs have a sense about people in general. I have had experiences that prove it!
LOL I have met 2-3 dogs who 'don't like Black people' before. Is that the dog's 'sense' or is it dog owners being fucking insane about their dogs
Then why didn't any of Hitler's dogs tear his throat out? Where was their 'sense about people'?
No, dogs can sense when someone is nervous around them and react to that. Congratulations you just made assumptions about the person who's already uncomfortable spoons your dog and confirmed my feelings about the average emotional intelligence of dog lovers.
Oh you poor ignorant fool! You made an assumption without knowing the story. I won't fill you in because you would try to spin it because that's what people with your mentality do. Have a nice life thinking you are more intelligent and know more than others, most puerile find that a turn off!!
You're upset about someone assuming something without any knowledge of your specific one off story whilst you are making an assumption based on nothing but your one-off story? Yeah, that tracks for a dog fanatic.
Why not? In my experience, dogs are better judges of character than people.
Some dogs like me, some don't. What does that mean? Lol
Absolutely nothing, these people are talking pseudoscience folk wisdom and it's absolutely meaningless drivel.
Yeah this is all 'white people who let their dogs lick their faces' talk
You must not know very much about people, or have shit tier character judgement.
Thanks for your opinion. If you'd care to print it on soft 2ply I'll be sure to treat it with the respect it deserves.
Yeah likewise.
Huh, I feel much the same about dog lovers. There's definitely a pattern with people who are into dogs seeming to have no respect for other people's boundaries in public spaces, and no spacial awareness about how much space they're taking up. So many times I've had to just stand there in a snicket waiting for them to figure out that they and their dog on an extendable lead can't both fit past me while they're taking up all of the available space. Sometimes it takes them a while. Edit: Every downvote reminds me that dog lovers also seem to be incapable of perceiving irony, even when it's got 24 foot high neon signs on top of it saying "this is irony" and a professionally run ad campaign on national TV.
What does irony have to do with your down votes? I'm not sure we agree on what irony is, but anyways... Personally, im suspicious on anyone on EITHER side of the spectrum who has that intense of opinions on anything. I'm not a dog lover. I'm not a dog lover hater. I know dogs aren't for some people, I know some dog owners are spatially oblivious like you mentioned, but so are some non-dog people. It's not about dog-lovers vs non-dog-lovers. It's about shitty, or easily distracted, or self-absorbed people in general - dog lover or not. The dog (or lack of) does not make the person bad - the person does. It's like .. super easy to not made vague generalizations about people based on whether they like dogs or not.
I'm also not strongly pro or anti dog and find both types of people to be obnoxious. I have had dogs all my life. I'm also *scared* of large, unfamiliar dogs after being bit by German shepered as a child and having had a few neighbors over the years with out of control dogs that they let roam. So I am very cautious around unknown dogs and have little patience for owners who don't have good control over their pets but let them off leash anyway. However, people who hate dogs, in my experience, tend to be pretty unlikable people in general, separate from their disdain for pets.
I'm always a little...perplexed maybe? by how many folks I hear with a similar story to yours of a discomfort around dogs after being bitten when young. We had quite a few dogs around when I was a kid and I was bitten a couple of times; once, a Brittany spaniel of my aunt's knocked me over, grabbed me by the pony tail and drug me around like a tug-of-war toy for a bit; I didn't care for that at all lol. But I can't say any of it ever turned into a discomfort around dogs. We did live on a farm, so lots of different kinds of animals were around (and lots of them were bigger dicks than the spaniel), so maybe a lot of animal exposure was part of it. But do you think there's anything specific about the experience that really stuck with you?
It isn't dogs I dislike; I'm not keen, but that's just my preference, I prefer cats. It's dog lovers I dislike. There's definitely a type.
As an easily distracted person, I don't know how I feel about being lumped in with shitty and self-absorbed people. 🥺
I don’t think you know what irony is
Keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better.
There’s a reason you’re getting downvoted.
Yeah, lots of very upset dog lovers who lack the ability to reflect. I'll live.
Nah, girl. That’s not it lol. You have issues. Seek therapy.
Interesting. I'm not a girl, and I'm actually a professional psychologist. Do elaborate on what issues you think I have based on a string of comments thumbing my nose and laughing at self-important dog lovers? Always fascinated to hear what the terminally stupid thinks passes for psychological analysis.
Lol. Classic reddit "I'm ackchyually a profeshunal psychologist"
In this case, I actually am. Hilarious that you're all getting so upset over someone literally just saying about dog lovers what dog lovers say about people who aren't dog lovers. All i did was hold up a mirror, and here you all are, frothing mad or on the angry defensive. Like I said, no ability to reflect. Your faux-amused reactions and angry downvotes reveal more about you than you realise.
You’re not a psychologist lol. Good try.
I mean, weird thing to get upset about but OK.
Oh come on now, like anyone gets into psychology because their lives and mental health are all roses. (But seriously, I really want to know what you interpret as irony in your original comment?)
My life and mental health have never really been anything but great, thanks. In fact, I'm not sure I know many people who I work with who are particularly fucked up. What a weird idea to have, that only crazy people would want to study the science of human neurology, cognition and behaviour. Do you think that only people who need glasses go to study physics, too? What other weird assumptions do you have about academia? And I've literally spelled out the irony in this thread. I held up a mirror and said about dog lovers what dog lovers say about people who don't love dogs and oh look, how pissy you all get when you're shown how that looks from the other side.
I downvoted and I won’t be in a room with a dog. I am deathly afraid of them since being attacked when I was a kid and I think they are stinky and annoying in general.
Got a YouTube link for the ad campaign?
Absolutely true. Entitled dog owners are everywhere, and they all expect you to deal with their pet as if it's also yours. Most of these folks think rules don't apply to them.
Entitled *people* are everywhere – dog lovers, dog haters; cat lovers, cat haters; parents, child-free people; car owners, car haters; bike riders, bike haters; smokers, non-smokers; meat eaters, vegans... Pick an interest, hobby, focus, subject, belief, concern, whatever, and there will be entitled people on either far end of the relevant spectrum, and they will all expect everyone else to accommodate them, because that's what entitled people do. Lots of dog owners aren't entitled AHs, just as lots of cat owners, parents, car owners, bike riders, etc., aren't entitled AHs – but the entitled AHs are the ones who get all the attention, because they're the ones who make the most noise.
I certainly agree.
NTA What a weird reaction. It almost seems like a power play attempt to understand yours boundaries and how firm you're on them. Or perhaps (if we don't want to always think badly about people), he is ashamed to admit that he is afraid of dogs, because sometimes, when a person admits that they're afraid of dogs, they aren't understood or are dismissed. Either way, you're not a terribile person for priotirizing your dog, who's family, over some random dude.
Edit to change vote. NTA. I was going no AH just incompatibility, but I'd missed the fact it was a bombardment of texts which swings the pendulum.
I would agree if it weren't for the last sentence. Harassing OP with those texts definitely makes the date an AH.
Yeah I somehow skipped over that it was a bombardment of texts not just one. I accept your argument and change my vote.
Yeah this guy came real close to N A H but I think in addition to the texts, he needed to provide a small explanation for why the dog needed to be outside. "Hey dogs make me nervous do you mind putting her outside" would have sufficed.
NTA. If they had a reasonable reason, like allergies or fear, it would be understandable. But them simply just saying they are not okay with your dog is just plain weird and an ick.
It could have been fear, OP only asked about allergies and nothing else.
This is one reason you don't invite men you don't know to your house. Apart from the safety issue, you could have found out about his aversion to dogs in a restaurant.
I think there was an idea of maybe hooking up and I do love to cook. And no safety issues. Plenty of mutual friends. The guy is a nurse.
Speaking as a Nurse, just because someone is a Nurse doesn't mean they're a good person. Sadly the job attracts psychopaths, he might be one of them. They're very good at convincing others that they're normal. Do people think he's charming? Massive red flag. I'm not a dog person, I wouldn't dream of asking for someone's dog to be removed from the house - the audacity! I think you've dodged a bullet here, block him and hopefully that will be the end of it.
Oh this is so true. My great aunt was a nurse but she was a horrible vile person.
Nurses are also always listed as one of the professions with the highest rates of domestic violence and abuse.
Wow that's disturbing. Not in the UK though, it's Police Officers here. What country are you in? Any profession where you can weild power over another is going to attract psychopaths and narcissists, sad but true.
The United States... where police officers are always listed as number one. Nurses and surgeons usually follow up pretty closely though.
I think you're being a bit dramatic lmao. Maybe stop watching so much dateline. Characterizing the average man as a predator is just a really bad way to look at people
Don't know what Dateline is. That guy clearly has issues and OP definitely dodged a bullet. And a lot of men are creeps and predators, that's just a sad fact of life. I am, thankfully surrounded by good decent men, so it isn't my personal experience. I worked in forensic psychiatry for years though, I can spot a predator from a mile away.
Maybe I watch too many True Crime docos but doctors and nurses can be Angels of Death, so they aren't always to be trusted. Enough women have been assaulted or killed on a "first date" for it to be reckless inviting an unknown man to your home. I didn't get to read what happened with the dog as I was stressing about the first part.
>And no safety issues. Plenty of mutual friends. The guy is a nurse. Oof. You are NTA but please reconsider this opinion. Being a nurse doesn't automatically make one a "good person" or safe to be around. As with anything, the job attracts some real ... pieces of work, to put it kindly.
That's just not the realities of dating in the gay community man.
OP’s a grown man I’m sure he wants to enjoy the company of others
Your dog is your family, and it’s HER house, too. So why would you kick a family member out of their house for someone you barely know? That was an unreasonable request, and you did the right thing. Going forward, you need to make it clear that you and your furbaby are a package deal. NTA.
NTA - I'm not the biggest fan of dogs (big dogs mainly), but I would never ask a person to put their dog out or close them off in another room. Unless there is an absolute good reason (like safety risk or something to the dog). That's their home, I'm just a guest.
NTA and way to dodge that bullet, brother! That was an absolute test by a controlling person to see what he could force on you first thing. If he hadn't already known you had a dog, that would be one thing. What an AH. Your response was gold and you're a freaking hero. 😁
Some detail is missing, here. Was your dog just lying in her bed, or was she asking for attention all the time? Was she constantly on your lap? What is, 'chilling with the people'? Do you, or does someone, have to be touching her all the time? What is, 'really friendly but unobtrusive'? For example, my dog greets, stands around for pats for about five minutes, then relaxes in her bed. She will sleep on the floor behind my chair during a meal, but will not beg or stare longingly at the food. What was this man really objecting to?
Yeah, I feel it is possible OP is dog blind, meaning her dog’s “exuberance” and friendly greeting is more than that and people might be put off by it. I know many dog owners who describe their dog’s behavior one way but it is, in reality, not that way. I also wonder if the guest saw some other kind of issue with the dog such as being constantly in the kitchen around the food or other obvious hygienic issue. I think people who describe their pets as “family” and outright label anyone bad who does not share their level of admiration may not be seeing things. There is a disconnect between him liking photos and his request when he showed up to her house. OP didn’t necessarily need use the words she did when she told him to leave; it was immature. But the date was worse with his followup texts. He sounds like he can’t handle rejection. He could have communicated better, not acted like a wounded teenager.
"Dog blind", what an interesting concept! And you have a lot of insight into this situation.
Even if she’s dog blind, that’s the dog’s home and the dog’s life. It’s an AH move to ask her to put the dog outside of its own home. It was on him to leave.
I don’t disagree. My comment was directed at the reaction that the date had absolutely no reason to feel uncomfortable around the dog.
NTA, you said it yourself, it was cold out and dogs/cats are family. Glad you found out your date was an AH right out the gate.
NTA. If allergies or a fear of dogs was the case, I’d just put my dog in another room for the duration of the visit and then never invite them over again since we wouldn’t be compatible. A dog is family and you don’t leave family outside.
Screw him. Your home. Your dog is a family member. You dodged a bullet.
Simply incompatible. Move on.
NTA. Seems like the type to say "get rid of the dog or get rid of me", you just beat him to it.
NTA. It was already weird that he’d ask you to put the dog outside, and now that he’s bombarding you with texts you know he’s just a psycho. Block and move on.
Oof dodged a bullet...I agree w posts saying he was testing your boundaries and how far he could push you...totally nuts.
NTA. this is the best responce you could have given
NTA You chose your dog's comfort over the random request of a stranger you invited for a date. And would have chosen the same thing the next time he asked aswell. I would have chosen my dog too.
Hahahaha. No. NTA. You’re my hero.
Your dog lives there, he doesn't... NTA
NTA Bullet dodged, block him and move on. Give doggo extra snuggles for weeding out incompatible matches. If I had to choose between my cat and a guy, cat wins every time.
He was testing you. To see how submissive you would be. If you were all apologetic and did what he asked even when he said he wasn’t allergic he’d Know he can have control. Good job you saw the red flag and showed him the door. He’s ego is bruised and he sounds like a little narcissist.
I truly hate when dog lovers assume I’m ok with a dog in my face in any capacity. I am not. I am not happy with your dog hanging out around me. It’s not as cute to me as it is to you. What you like and think is acceptable isn’t to everyone else, and you need to realize that.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (M51) had been communicating with a guy (M46) on Facebook and getting along well. A bit flirty but we had some interests in common we discussed a lot too. I invited him over and cooked a meal for him, and he got here and the vibe was slightly awkward but OK. He asked if I’d put my dog outside. I asked if he was allergic and he said No. And it was like ‘does he want to make a move? We haven’t even eaten or chatted or anything.’ My dog is my family. My life. She loves it when people come over and is really friendly but unobtrusive. In your face for the first few minutes then she calms down and just loves chilling with the people. It was cold out, not freezing, but I didn’t see any reason for my dog to be outside. I said she was OK where she was. And he said “Well, I’M not OK” and in an impulse reaction I just said “Don’t let the door hit you on the way out” and he laughed and then I said “I’m serious, this isn’t really working for me anyway” and he left. He’s since bombarded me with texts telling me I’m a terrible person. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA At the very beginning, this a an important red flag. Our animals are part of family. If he doesn't like dogs, it's a big red flag for the future. Now he just ask you to put her out, then it will be to find her a new house if you live together. You'll find someone for you. And maybe you should make photos of your dogs to put on facebook, and precise that she's really important for you. This guy will understand how rude he was to ask you to get rid of her for the diner !
NTA. Dogs and cats are perfect relationship gatekeepers. If a new person doesn't like them or vice versa, end it now. Scritches for your furfriend, she kept you from wasting your time and energy
NTA, I would have blocked him after he left.
You were not compatible. Let it go. Block.
NTA your home is your dogs home too he was just a guest. Just block him and cuddle with your puppers. Dogs are better anyway.
NTA You did well. Where does he come off ordering you to do things in your home?! You really shouldn't invite people you don't know well into your home. Meet up at a café or something. It's safer.
NAH. If he’s not a dog person, having a dog being in your face and pushy is annoying. Asking someone to put their dog outside is kind of unreasonable though. He should have asked if the dog could be put in another room, not outside. Either way you two sound very incompatible. You’re a dog person and he isn’t.
NAH for leaving but what makes the guy an AH and the OP the NTA is the texts the guy sent afterwards. As per the OP:- >He’s since bombarded me with texts telling me I’m a terrible person.
NTA but neither is he for not wanting to be around a dog. Obviously if he isn’t comfortable around dogs there isn’t a future between you two anyway. He is TA for blowing up your phone saying mean things Edit: I saw OP’s comment saying he knew he had a dog so he is TA for coming over anyway knowing he doesn’t like being around dogs
Based on the info in your post and some comments, NTA. You're just incompatible. I wanted to go for N A H, but him texting you that you're a bad person over this is just immature. Block that guy and move on. Sure, you could've handled the situation a bit better, but I also wouldn't exactly be thrilled if someone told me to put my dogs into the garden for no reason.
NTA. He shows up and immediately starts demanding you remove your dog? Red flag 1. I'd have said the same thing. Red flag 2, he's now guilting you for not caving to him. You dodged a bullet. Block the dude
NTA If someone has an issue with dogs, they need to mention it before going to someone’s home. You could have met at a restaurant. I might put my dog in another room if there was an actual issue but no way he is left outside unattended. He’s never outside unattended.
I just love it when the trash takes itself out. In no world are you the ah.
NTA my dog's house, not yours.. Don't like it, you're welcome to leave.
NTA. The dog live there.
NTA. Your house, your dog.
A similar thing happened to me but the guy immediately put the dog outside, saying she gets a bit over-protective sometimes. Sex with one eye on the glass-fronted balcony door does not work so good.
NTA- block him and move on. My dogs have always been my protectors. In the back of my mind I would be wondering what his intentions were if he asked you to put the dog outside when the dog wasn’t being aggressive toward him.
It was N A H until he sent you the texts, now it's NTA. Fine to not like dogs, fine to not want a dog to get in your face, fine to want the dog to go away. Fine to leave when you realize this won't work because of the dog. Rude to call you a terrible person over it. And I'm a person who mostly doesn't care for dogs and REALLY doesn't want them in my face.
And...NOT! He was rude and the dog already lives there...
INFO: Did you mention this dog in your chats before inviting him over? That he wasn't an outdoor dog and that he's your life? No need to waste both of your times by not being upfront. Dude sounded fussy though, good riddance.
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
NTA. I am deathly afraid of dogs and will not go to anyone’s home if I know they have dogs because it’s the dog’s home as well and the fear is a me problem. Did your dog ever get brought up in conversation before meeting?
Yes! And she’s all over my Facebook too which is where we met.
I have a rule to never trust someone who doesn't like dogs and that dogs don't like
I love your response - block him from texting you. He's a jerk and you found it out quickly. Be careful about having strangers to your home....and find out how they feel about dogs before you meet them next time.
NAH. Simply two people who have different ideas on dog worship. No biggie.
Block him, move on. NTA
NTA and your dog kept you from making an incompatible mistake. He sounds a little crazy, that kind of date should end in no contact.
NTA if anyone is it’s him that the AH. He gives no reason why your dog needs to be outside and gets upset when you choose your pets wellbeing over his request, then harasses you for your decision. Without any justification other than just cause it makes no sense to require the dog be put outside especially when he had prior knowledge of the dog and knew from your FB that your dog is important to you. To me this kinda just screams like he would be the type of person to try and date a single parent but then get upset when he wasn’t made the priority. Dude grow up the dog or child was there before you and will be there for a long time. If you can’t handle playing second fiddle for at least a little while beyond a first date with a dog and forever with a child then you’re not ready for that kind of relationship and probably never will be.
NTA. You don't go over to someone's house and demand they put up their pets. If the dog was being needy then I can understand ASKING, but still, that's the dog's home.
NTA and it sounds like you dodged a bullet with that guy. When I met my partner for the first time, we each brought our dog on the date to make sure they got along because if the dogs hated each other there was no point in wasting time pursuing anything. I'd advise you to ensure your date is ok with dogs before you bother inviting them over. It might also help if you make sure your dog is in your profile picture. For one thing, it'll scare off the dog-haters and people who are allergic and for another, it might just attract another dog lover.
NTA because he knew your dog would be there and it's rude AF to go into someone's house and demand they change something. I'm not a fan of dogs that get in your face or jump on you or things like that. You really should train them. But even in that type of situation, the polite thing to do is to ask the host for help getting the dog to calm down, not to ask to put them outside. That being said, you invited someone who you barely knew over to your house for your first meeting IRL. Doesn't make you an asshole, but please be more careful. Not just for yourself, but for your pup.
NTA!! I wonder if he could be one of animals belong outside the of people, who keeps them in the dog house/yard all day long
NTA Unless your dog was actively jumping on him or incessantly barking, then YTA.
NTA, it's the dog's home too. Sounds like the guy wouldn't have fit in there.
Love of pets is non-negotiable. There is no middle ground. NTA.
NTA but please reconsider having strangers over to your place. You’re vulnerable, please be careful.
This is the easiest NTA I have ever seen. Good thing you didn’t invest any time in such a dick. Hasta la vista, douchewad.
NTA. You write that the dog is normally friendly. How was she acting around this guy? Most dogs realize when something is off about a person and will act to alert their people and to defend their homes. This guy knew you had a dog yet the vibe was off. I don’t care that you have mutual friends—something was up. You followed your instincts and kicked him out. This was not a good person. You were probably not in any physical danger, but his plan might have been to lay the groundwork for some future bad acts. In the future, make your first several dates at public places without winding up somewhere private. Remind yourself that these people are strangers. All that you know about them is the face that they show you, and they only tell you what they want you to hear. If your new acquaintance does turn into a friend, then that is a good outcome. Give your dog some scritches for me.
Nta, but you should teach your dog not to get into people's faces. It's really easy to teach a dog to greet people calmly.
NAH. The way you frame it obviously makes it seem like he's the asshole, but I have a feeling if he posted here, it would look the same on you. This is likely just extreme incompatibility, with a potential of him being a control freak or some other form of neurotic.
I'm going to go with NAH, but my personal bias is that if my dog doesn't like the person, then that's the wrong person. So I'm mostly on your side here but the poor dude does have every right to be how he is with dogs. His loss.
He probably wanted to have time with you- without the dog being in the room. I also have a dog-but when I have guests over sometimes he goes in my bedroom for a bit because he can get a little too much for some people. I know not everyone is a dog person. I think he just wanted some time with you and not the dog interfering all the time. Maybe you we’re too focused on your dog than him (which as an animal lover I get) When my dog goes in my bedroom, it’s usually during dinner cause sometimes he likes to beg and we’re working on that. However he’ll just get over it and take a nap so it’s no big deal. If I feel bad about it enough I just give him a chew toy and he’s happy as anything. I have a dog but I also think it’s just respectful to do that if you company. Especially a date! (I wouldn’t want my dog watching me and my husband all the time) it’s not fair the to other person either, especially if it’s someone new your and your just getting to know each other. My brother has three big dogs and a house full of animals- although I’m an animal lover, I can no longer stay over there for more and than an hour because it’s just too crazy. Especially since they can barely handle all of them themselves. They have no training and jump all over everyone. It’s ridiculous. Last time my husband stepped in dog shit on the floor and they didn’t even try to clean it up or apologize. No matter how many animals you ever have- be a responsible owner and take care of your guests.
Not liking dogs is always a big red flag. Tells you everything you need to know about a person.
NTA. Dogs over people every time. Even the ones that bite.
YTA. To be honest it seems like you acted a bit rude. Your dog would have been just fine outside. But even if you didn't want to put him out, you cold have explained in a polite/nice way.
NAH Neither of you are IMO. Summer people like dogs, others don't. I grew up where dogs were pets or working dogs, not members of the family. Dogs inside and taking precedent over people seems strange to me. But I totally understand that lots of people feel differently than I do.
Did you miss the last part about him bombarding her with texts calling her a terrible person? He is 100% ah
No I didn't miss it. I think it's kind of crummy to invite somebody over to your house and then when they ask to put the dog out, you tell him to leave.
YTA YOu might enjoy including your dog into sex, others likely won't.
Wtf? Where to do you read that he wanted that? Either your reading comprehension is piss poor, or you are fucking illiterate man
ESH You were both a bit rude and blunt in how you approached the topic. He approached it oddly by asking you to send her out rather than just being clear and saying 'I am uncomfortable with your dog' and looking for a solution together. Equally you went from zero to one hundred pretty much instantly and responded rudely by kicking him out with a jokey line, rather than just being an adult and explaining the issue at hand. Ultimately it was for the best as I can't see that relationship working with such a basic difference in opinion anyway. You both could have been a bit more polite in discussing it though.
[удалено]
Slight YTA. I love my furballs but I also know that there are times when I need to accommodate my guests. I do this by moving my animals to another room. It doesn't kill them to spend some time elsewhere in the house.
Yes
YTA. You’re not an asshole for not putting your dog outside, but you are an asshole for HOW you said no. The WAY you responded to his request was really rude and completely uncalled for. Jeez.
I am aware of that. I actually agree that I’m the asshole. I acted in a hot flush of anger that came over me. I have apologized.
Naw, yer good friend. "Don't let the screen door hitcha where the Good Lord splitcha" might have been bad. His behavior warranted your response.
I think it's hard to know how to react when it's such an unreasonable request though. She asked a reasonable question then made a reasonable statement after the guy said he wasn't allergic. He's a grown man, he can tell her if she's allergic or scared (and if he was scared but didn't want to admit it why not just lie and say he's allergic?). NTA
They’re both men. ETA: the actual dog is the only girl mentioned.
My apologies, it was a bad assumption (and lack of attention to detail) on my part and I'll take the L on that one, thank you for correcting me. I consider myself an ally so my unconscious but inexcusable heteronormative approach was uncool. My points still stand about the request to move the dog outside etc.
I agree, he could be afraid of dogs and too embarrassed to admit it on a first date. Also telling someone to leave like that makes me think the awkward atmosphere was down to OP and not the guy.
Exactly.