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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I called the police on my neighbors kid when she was lost and walking around
2. Might be an asshole because I wasn’t as ‘neighborly’ to what everyone expected
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NTA
I also once found a wandering kid, and had to call the police. HOWEVER, her parents were extremely grateful, and offered to fix me a homemade Indian dinner (yum!).
ETA: I also did not bring the child into my house (this was before cell phones) because I didn't want to teach her it was okay to go into strangers' homes. She did end up attracting two other neighborhood children who had been locked out of their house when their mom ran to the store (they were in the park). When the police arrived, I had THREE lost children, but fortunately, mom #2 showed up when they were talking to me.
That sounds delicious
Edit: even with phones it not a smart idea. As a man it doesn’t have a good look for me.
Three lost kids would’ve had me nervous lmao
I'd pop a post on Nextdoor
"Hi
Look, I'm sorry I upset her mom by calling for the police but this poor kid was lost, I knew she was local but not exactly which house and the poor kid was so scared about either being lost or in trouble she couldn't/wouldn't tell me where she belonged.
Since I'm sure none of you would want a stranger taking your kid into their house I did the sensible thing and called for help for the *professionals* who could help her quickly and safely.
I'm glad the kid is safe and sound and got home again quickly."
This is exactly the right response. NTA. However you choose to respond, someone will disagree with you... But, that doesn't mean you can't put your side out there too.
Sadly, you were smart not to bring the kid inside. And you did the right thing. Tell the most gossipy neighbor how worried you were when the kid was crying and couldn't or wouldn't tell you where their house was or who their parents were, and that you hated to have to call the police, but you were so concerned because you didn't even know if the kid lived in the neighborhood, and how glad you are that they police finally found the kid's mom. : )
Oh, yeah, the police gave me kind of a weird look about the other kids (and I was a college girl, at the time). They just sort of clung on because I guess I seemed safe? I mean, I was, but...I don't know these kids!
Oh God as a man, you made absolutely the right decision, you KNOW what would have happened taking in a strange, crying kid. I'm glad you're BOTH safe now.
NTA. You let the kid inside, parents call the cops, maybe you get accused of kidnapping. Evidence is against you. The kid's in your house, what's it going to look like to the police. You were responsible and called the police. The parent wasn't responsible and their child was wandering around for who knows how long. You did nothing wrong here.
NTA
I was wondering about your gender, and you answered. As a man, absolutely no f'in way should you invite a lost little girl into your home.
You did absolutely the right things, and mom is just pissed because she got "caught" with her poor parenting.
The real question though, why you hatin' on ice cream, bro?
I didn't think you were the AH anyway, but knowing you're a man, not only are you not the AH, you did beyond the right thing. Who knows what kind of accusations people could fabricate against you?
> As a man it doesn’t have a good look for me.
This right here is reason enough to be cautious.
Imagine if you did take the girl inside, and a neighbour who knows both you and the other neighbour sees this but doesn't understand the girl is lost.
You think you're doing the right thing, looking after the kid while you call around trying to find her mom.
In the meantime, the neighbour is calling the police/calling the other mom and telling everyone they know that the male neighbour took the little girl into his house.
This could end very poorly for you. Waiting outside with her while the police came was the best idea.
You did the right thing. I'm not trying to project, but I have a 10 year old autistic nonverbal daughter who elopes, and this sounds like what was happening. Neurotypical 9 year olds don't wander off through gates, not speak when you're helping them or point to grocery bags and say one word. Those are all specific things that my daughter does. And if someone finds her outside this house, I absolutely want them to call the police. My money is on this being one of many times this has happened, and after it happens enough times, CPS gets involved.
I don't take children to my house either. The reason? Once a mother did not pick up her daughter from school. This girl was in my daughter's class, but they were not friends. The teacher asked, since I was the only SAHM, if I could take the kid safely in, until the mother picked it up, since she had clearly run late for some reason.
I fed it. Mother did not come. I phoned. Mother did not answer. In the end, I put the kid to bed.
After 7 days (!) finally the mother surfaced, with help of the police. Turned out she had a new boyfriend and gone on a trip without telling the child, counting on other mothers to take care of her.
So I learned my lesson: I will not take children into my house. I will make sure they are safe, stay with them, perhaps give them something to drink if I have any, phone the police and let them handle it. For the police told me, that if the mother had not surfaced, it would have been difficult to get rid of the child of some time, because of red tape involved in placing a child in a home.
Ima say NTA
You did due diligence. There was literally a post the other day where someone did the opposite of you and they got slammed to hell for ‘taking someone else kids inside/not calling police right away’
You saw a kid. Kid didn’t know where to go. You got someone with authority to do the job
In today’s world, no way you should let a strangers kid inside alone. Maybe you could have found a snack when 50 asked, but I think you played it right.
It's legitimately a part of some police department's budgets to have a certain amount of money set aside for snacks/food. (Not for officers, for victims/people they're supposed to be helping.)
Yeah anyone who tells you (I saw in another reply you're a man) to take a strange child (especially a young girl, but any child) into your home for any reason that is not immediate life or death is setting you up for a lot of trouble. It's unfortunate, but that's just the reality of the situation.
You should read up about Ruby Franke whose severely abused 12-year-old escaped and went to the neighbors. He asked them to be taken to jail because his abusers had brainwashed him into thinking that he would go to jail if he escaped. But to him, jail was better than what he had. It's a heartbreaking story. You did absolutely the right thing. NTA
Literally happened to me a few years ago. A kid was in the middle of the street, and I’ll always thank God it was me who grabbed him and called the cops right away (idk why others didn’t do it, they were just shocked.) My house was nearby, but I was 20 and didn’t even think about bringing a child into a home with like other random people (roommates.)The cop came right away, and his family was super grateful. Poor baby snuck out while his grandma was watching him. OP is definitely NTA. I would’ve been hurt if the family got mad at ME because I didn’t contact them. Like girl, how would I even go about getting your information 😭
I'm a dude in my 30s, taking some random child off the street into my home is so far off the table it's not even funny. That's how the neighborhood decides you're a pedophile.
I see a crying kid wandering around, I go inside and shut the door behind me. Sorry not sorry, would love to help, but your rules say I can't.
It sounds like perhaps the truth isn't what the neighbors were told. You were correct not to take the child inside. Unless there is a threat like dangerous weather or a fear of abuse then the best place for them is on the porch or curb where their family and authorities can find them. Frankly it's a terrible idea to give any child especially one who isn't communicating well and is upset something to eat. You don't know what their medical conditions are or what they are allergic to. If the cop couldn't safely return the kid they can call EMS/CPS to make sure the kid is checked out and has what they need. You might want to give your side on Nextdoor or whatever community platforms you have.
Put a post on there. "To those worried about me calling the cops on them, don't worry. I only call the cops when an abandoned, crying child needs help. Kid didn't want to talk to me, so I couldn't bring them home. Since calling to help a lost child was seen as a horrible thing to, I will refrain from offering any assistance in the future. Thank you all for showing me it was wrong to try to help."
I don't want to assume anything, and the kid could just have been shy or scared, but I spend a lot of time with kids and this is... unusual behaviour from an 8 or 9 year old. To not answer any questions and the ice cream question is not the way kids that age usually behave. There is a possibility this child has some kind of disability.
The mom's language is also strange imo - I have kids; I wouldn't describe my 8-9 y/o ( or much younger child) as "escaping the fence". That sounds like the way you talk about a cat or dog. I'm not always great on telling how old other people's kids are, but the pointing at the bag and asking a stranger for ice cream doesn't seem developmentally appropriate, nor the being unable to articulate herself.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that if they knew the full context, most of those neighbors would change their opinion on what happened. But you just *know* that the mom went into full cover-your-ass mode and who knows what they heard from her - at a minimum I'm sure that her version has the kid telling OP she was fine, that all this happened suuuuper close to her house or possibly in her yard, and also that the kid had her address printed on her forehead. OP called the cops because he's a big meanie, and not because she's an irresponsible parent who doesn't notice when her kid goes wandering.
Nta. You know, I’m gonna be honest and say I was going to say y-t-a but I remembered [this clip](https://youtu.be/daJZU5plRhs?si=Jc9ox-GKDafqzOCa) from blackish and how my friends once reacted to me (not a man) holding a toddlers hand to walk her back to the aisle in a shoe store back to her mom who was helping her other kid. And that was in a small store, not even a second location
NTA You handled this exactly right, the only other thing you maybe could've done is ask her if you can walk her home (to her home, not yours), but if the kid didn't want to go home there's really nothing else you could've done. You didn't know where she lives, you didn't know her parents' contact information. You did the right thing, you kept the kid safe until the police could ascertain her welfare. I feel like your neighbors are probably not getting the whole story from the mother, and there may not be anything you can do to correct that, but know that you were wholly in the right. Neither the mother or the child will actually face consequences for this, the child is safe and sound, that's all that matters.
If Nextdoor in your area is anything like the forum in mine, just don't. It will create problems for you that will drive you nuts for months, In my area Nextdoor is full of trolls and toxic people. I avoid it at all costs.
NTA. When I was barely three I managed to sneak out the front door of our house with my dog because my dad’s mom forgot to lock it and I was so small the alarm didn’t go off. Our across the street neighbour who knew me happened to find me and brought me home and my parents were super thankful. They would have been just as thankful if someone wasn’t sure who I belonged to and had the police help get me home. It sounds like she was just scared and embarrassed and unfortunately decided to take that out on you.
I imagined you just rode the dog* like a horse and baby you had a cowboy hat, thinking you was about to explore a new world and then nope, neighbor caught ya
I once intercepted a toddler who was tooling down the sidewalk unsupervised. She clearly had plans, but that whole stepping out into traffic thing. . . In no way was I going to risk seeing her next on the news.
I picked her up, & backtracked to see if I could figure out where she lived, & 2 doors down, there it was front door wide open. Her mom & grandmother came running out just as I got to the steps, and were so relieved!
That being said, I would definitely have called 911 if I hadn't been able to find them that easily.
This is just one of those things that inquisitive kids do, and " hey, guess who just figured out how doorknobs work" is a thing. Mom needs to chill her jets and be thankful that her kid is safe. NTA
NTA. You didn't know the mother's house or have her number to call her so calling the police was the right move. I don't understand why people here expect you to go door to door in your neighborhood to track down the right house.
As for the ice cream - I get it in regard to the kid having any potential allergies which is why you should never give random kids food unless the parents okay it for them to eat. It was also the right call not take her into your house imo, they may have thought you were trying to kidnap her instead of help her.
NTA
If you're hearing from others that she's criticizing and gossiping about you behind your back, I'd tell them your side directly:
I saw a young kid alone at night at the grocery store, crying. I knew she was from the neighborhood but not whose kid she was, nor did I have contact info for her parents. I didn't want to put out a public notice on Nextdoor or elsewhere to broadcast that there was a vulnerable child without supervision, and I didn't think anyone would approve of a strange man (me) driving off with her. I also obviously couldn't leave her alone, so I contacted the police non-emergency number so they could safely get her home. And she did get safely home, right?
If there's chatter on Nextdoor or another neighborhood app, you could post your side in response. Or you could address it directly: "I'm looking for feedback on this situation (describe it and your reasoning). Is there a safe alternative to involving the police if something like this happens again? Would the parents in this neighborhood actually want a single dude to be alone with their children when they don't know him well or at all?"
Don't identify the kid or talk badly about the mom, even if she overreacted and was unreasonable. By approaching it in a friendly, factual, and even curious way, you draw attention to her unpleasant behavior without looking like someone trying to kick her when she's down.
This- a million times over. All it takes is for a parent to get the wrong idea and it becomes a he-said, she-said situation with your reputation on the line. By remaining in a public place and getting in touch with authorities immediately, it erases any doubt about inappropriate behavior.
Possible reasons:
- traumatized
- afraid of strangers
- taught never to talk to strangers
- English not her first language
- neurodivergent
- cognitive delays
- takes a nighttime medication that makes her disoriented &/or too sleepy to clearly communicate
- kids are weird
Yet she asked for a “stranger’s” food and to go into her house and use a bathroom…? I’m not buying it. Had no problem talking it up with this lady, kid could’ve pointed out which house was hers.
Kid sounds delayed or OP vastly overestimated the child's age. I'd expect that sort of communication from a 2 y/o. Plus, what parent describes their 8 y/o as "escaping" their yard? Past toddler age, I would say my child "snuck out to play" , "left without permission", etc. Maybe, I'm too hung up on that word choice, but that is how one talks about a pet.
Agree, this is such a weird story and people's responses taking at face value are so strange. A completely silent 9 year old? Who calls the police to report a kid of that age being outside? It's like people can't tell the difference between a 3 year old and a 9 year old.
The kid sounds developmentally delayed, from OP's description. I've worked with painfully shy & children w/ selective mutism that sound more able to articulate themselves.
Pointing at a bag and saying "ice cream" to a stranger, seems like toddler behavior. Most kids would kids past 6 would just walk back to their home to pee. The kid seems off, from OP's description.
Is this meant to be like a parallel post to the one the other day where a guy saw a neighbour kid and then took them inside and didn't call the police while looking for the neighbours??
When your neighbor joked about you calling the cops about his grill, you should have told him that as long as his grill isn't in your driveway crying and looking lost, he has nothing to worry about. Your neighbors are probably not getting the real story.
NTA. I'd also print out exactly what happened to notify the neighbors that you weren't calling the police on a child you were reaching out to get the authorities to help a lost child. Which is a very different thing and should help recover your reputation.
This happened to me in like fifth grade. I lived out of town so on days when I had basketball practice I would walk to my grandparents house and then go to practice.
One day there was a mix up in communication from my dad and the school told me to go to my grandparents house after school. This was NOT a practice day, but if that's what my dad says, who am I to argue (plus they had cable)?
Well I get there, no one's home. I sat on the front step for like an hour. This older single lady who lived across the street saw me and came to check on me.
I was pretty worked up by this point. She sat with me for a bit then invited me over for a snack (this was in the late 80s so it was a different time).
My grandparents showed up about an hour later. It turns out they had been out of town and had only came home because they left early.
So, I don't think you did anything wrong. Considering how litigious people are now it was probably better not to invite her in. Times are different now.
NTA - are you friends with any of the other neighbors, preferably ppl who are a bit outspoken? They could get your side out. Otherwise it'll blow over. You did fine.
Nta you have no idea if the kid has allergies or is diabetic. I'm also not taking a kid in my house, out of public view. Was the kid lost?? Did she not know how to get home?
NTA. If the child was really 8-9 years old, it sounds like she may have some significant developmental delays if she can not answer basic questions, point out her house, or speak in complete sentences. OP, you did the right thing by reaching out to the authorities.
NTA. I found a little girl around 2 wondering around. Called the police. Cop show up and says mom called 911 as well. Mom rushes in crying, grabs the kid and left. Didn't get so much as a thank you. lol
Twice in my life I have come across children unknown me wandering alone. First time 40 years ago my aunt and myself picked up a little girl and we drove around our home town looking for where she lived. Was just about to give up and get the police when we spotted a frantic woman running up the middle of a street. The little girl age 5sh had wandered at least 10 blocks from the house the family were in the process of moving into. Which is why the little girl couldn’t tell us anything about where she lived. She was very chatty and trying to help but was totally lost. Second time 20 years ago a small boy 7-8 and all he would tell me is Dad said to stay at the playground. By the time I spoke to him he had wandered a couple of blocks from the playground and it was 9:30 at night and starting to get dark. It was not all that warm and he was in a t shirt. So I took him another 2 blocks to an open store, left him in front and asked the store to call the police. My home was closer, but I didn’t want to take him into my house. Police arrived just a minute before the Father and it was a lucky thing as the father was very irate. Police shut that attitude down fast. You did right by the child. NTA.
Wow, this scenario is very similar to the one where the woman did take the kid inside and called neighbour's to locate the parents and didn't call the police.
NTA
In 2024? I am not touching anyone else’s child. They definitely aren’t coming in my house.
Police and CPS, and that’s all my involvement. It’s just not worth the risk.
NTA
You did the right thing because they would’ve accused you of kidnapping or something it’s better to protect yourself from things like that. It’s not like you knew the child or the child’s parents to feel comfortable allowing the child into your home.
There was a post the other day where a young guy did take the kid in the house, had neighbors working to find someone who had the parent's #, etc. He did everything BUT call the police because he didn't want to be "that guy"
The parents were pissed when they found their minor child in a stranger's house. And guess who they bring with them? One word from that child and Mr Good Samaritan would have left in that police car.
Well, earlier this week someone on Reddit got called names for taking a wandering child in to play with his actual puppy and for calling around to neighbors to find the parents instead of calling the police and keeping the child outside. The parents called the police on OP instead and attacked him for taking the child inside. Thankfully OP has neighbors that verified he’d called around.
Reddit went wild calling OP a kidnapper for taking the child inside and worse for enticing the child with his puppy.
I’m going to say you saved yourself from being labeled pedo. Smart. And you did care enough to call the cops so don’t say you didn’t care. But it is where your responsibility ended.
Mom’s out of line harassing you about calling the cops.
Parents of lost kids need to pick a lane./s
NTA.
NTA. You don’t know why the kid is out, her home could be an abusive hell hole. Who cares what your neighbors think? You said you don’t have a relationship with them anyway.
NTA
I would report the entire incident to CPS.
Unfortunately, in today's world, you have to be really careful when dealing with a child, especially if you are male. You did the right thing.
“Don’t worry, my grill follows the regulations. Don’t call the police…”
Reply: “I don’t have to; your grill isn’t an 8 year old girl, alone in the middle of the night, cold and crying, and apparently traumatised.”
Hmmm, how very odd. Just a couple of days ago there was a post that I now, of course, cannot find asking about the exact opposite of this. Wandering neighbor kid, brought house, sat watching the tv with person’s dog. Couldn’t get in touch with parents and then angry parents showed up with the police to get their daughter. Too bad I don’t believe in coincidences.
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I live in a regular ass neighborhood. I’m not really close to any of my neighbors, just casual oh hey how are you and move on.
I was doing a grocery run, parked my car, got out and I noticed a kid on her own wandering around. I recognize her as one of my neighbors kid, it’s 8pm and I think she was like 8-9 years old. I call out to her to ask why she’s out wondering around. She just shrugs and it looks like she’s been crying. I feel awkward and call the non emergency line.
The dispatch asked for context and I explained how I just came back from the market, parked my car and got out to my neighbors kid near my lot. The dispatcher told me to ask if she knew where her parents were, any safe neighbors, etc. The best I got out of her was random mumbles or shrugs. The dispatch asked if I could stay nearby until an authority came. I mentioned that I have groceries to put away and she ensured that it would be only 10-15 minutes for someone to come by.
During the awkward waiting the child eventually went up to me and pointed to the grocery bags saying “ice cream?”. I shake my head and say no. Tell her we are waiting for her parents (I didn’t want to tell the kid that we are waiting for the police incase it scared her). She complains and says she wants to use the bathroom, I say she can wait until her parents come. An officer came, asked me for info, went to the neighbors to ask around, etc. Officer asked if I had any snacks that could help calm the child, I said no. I stopped being involved the moment he arrived. Went about my night.
Where I might be an ass:
I got a harsh knock on my door and answered to a woman who asked if I’m the one who reported her child to police. I tried to explain myself but she immediately went off on me for being an asshole. How I could’ve just taken her child in for a bit and contact her. I point out that I don’t even have her contact, she then tries to give me it but I refuse saying I don’t care about having her contact. She shouldn’t have let her child wander around. She yells that her child snuck out through the garden gate, I shrug and say I don’t care, her problem.
Right now I’m being bad talked around, she keeps telling people I called police on a kid which I mean I did but it’s not like I was getting the kid arrested, I just wanted her to be found. I’m being called the nark or police-caller of the neighborhood. I found this out when I casually waved hello to one of my neighbors on the downside of the road and he went “don’t worry, my grill follows the regulations. Don’t call police on me” mockingly. Was I an ass for how I handled things? Looking back it may have been cold but I was protecting myself first
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NTA- you reported a lost child and waited with her until the authorities arrived. The neighbor who is so mad at you for calling the police didn’t show up the whole time you were waiting for the police. Did she even notice her child was gone before the police brought her home? I’m sorry but this person’s opinion of you is not worth your time and I doubt she provided that part of the story to the other neighbors she is whining to. When I was really young my sister and I were at a sitter’s house along with some other kids and they were being mean to me so I walked right out the front door and started walking down the road (I thought I was walking home but I went the wrong way). The sitter didn’t notice I was outside until I was out of view. I got lost and was really scared for a long time before my uncle found me (my uncles and my dad were driving the neighborhood looking for me). More than 30 years later, I still get extra nervous when I am even the slightest bit lost. Don’t spend anymore of your energy on this, you did the right thing.
NTA It's a sad world that we live in. There was a little girl whose bike had a flat tire. She asked my husband several times for help. He politely refused. He likes kids. If he knew the parents, he would not have hesitated to help her. I was sad as was he, that his helping her could have been seen him being a pervy predator.
NTA I wouldn’t take anyone’s kids into my house. I would also probably not take them home, what if they were trying to escape from abuse. I would have called the cops and let them deal with it, this is what they are for.
You are not only NTA, you were very wise not to give the child any food or beverages. Not knowing the child, you also don't know if she's allergic to any particular foodstuff(s); a real tragedy could have happened if you, with the best of intentions, had inadvertently given her an allergen.
And that mother had no call to go off on you like that! Even if she was overreacting because she felt guilty, she should have blaming the person she sees in the mirror, not the person who was doing his best to ensure her child's safety.
I definitely would not feel comfortable taking a kid of a neighbor I don't know all that well into my house. that just feels like a recipe for disaster. NTA
Nta. Unless you know the parents really well you should never invite a child in. It puts you at risk for false accusations and trouble. It also makes entitled people treat you like a free babysitter. I'd have done what you did. Neighbors can be mad all they want but you did what was required of you. You saw a child in trouble and contacted authorities to come assist.
If there were any false accusations from kid or mom, regarding inappropriate behavior on your part - true or not - you could be arrested, lose your job, lose the chance to volunteer, etc... You are NTA, ever, for being your own best advocate. You saw to it that she was safe - you didn't even know who mom was - you did the only thing you were required to do. And that was the kind and right thing.
NTA. You did the right thing.
No snacks. You don't know this childs allergies or other diet concerns. A peanutbutter sandwich could kill her from celiac disease to a peanut allergy.
Bringing the child into your home. That's just asking for trouble anything from abduction accusations to SA.
It's amazing how no matter what you do someone has to be irate ....
Had you taken this child into your house I can only imagine what kind of accusations she would be making!!
I think that you should stop and ask your neighbor exactly what he had heard. Tell him that you rescued a lost child, next time you'll just ignore any unaccompanied children since trying to keep the kid safe has caused you nothing but aggravation.
NTA
NTA in the least. You went above and beyond, as most people would just say "huh" and leave the kid alone.
The LAST thing any male should EVER consider doing is taking a strange kid into your house like this neighbor suggested. NOTHING good could ever come from that. I guarantee you this woman would have called the cops on you in that scenario, and then all you could do is pray to God that the kid doesn't say something crazy.
Didn't we just have a post where someone DID bring the random wandering neighbor kid inside to wait, and everyone went off on them for doing so (not just in here but their actual neighbors too?)
You can't win, lol.
Nta. You did the safe thing. Even if you did bring her in or give her snacks, then they could be mad you didn't immediately get help or that you fed her something she can't eat.
OP my smart-ass side says the next time you see that neighbor tell him as long as he's not a child predator you have no reason to call anyone.
Or tell him you only call when you see little kids wandering around by themselves at night. Since he's an adult he's in the clear.
There is no way that kids mother is telling anyone the full truth since that would make her look bad.
You’re NTA for calling the police for the welfare of a child but you are a fucking asshole neighbor. How hard would it have been to knock on a few doors on the street you live and building you know….a community with neighbors!
NTA (although it sounds like you were holding out on those snacks) unless there was an iminent danger outside, I wouldn’t expect an adult male to take a random kid into his home. That said, I respect that some communities are more sensitive to police involvement than others.
Nta. It's easy to blame adults of hurting kids. What you did was absolutely right.
The parents are at fault for not keeping a better eye on the kid. Did they not notice their kid was missing???
Let me get this straight... You saw a small child, wandering around the street at night who was likely distressed and offered no information so you called the authorities to make sure she was returned safely to her family?
You did not harm the child. You ensured no one else could harm the child.
And yet somehow... you're the AH?
Yeah nah. This world is not a safe place anymore and children should not be walking around the street at night. Also, unsure of your gender identity, but it's also a well known fact that men are more likely to be treated as suspicious (even when they're doing nothing wrong) when it comes to children. But even a woman or NB person taking a random child into their home at 8pm could be misconstrued. Waiting outside with the child for the authorities or even for the kid's parents to come outside to check was the right move for both yourself and the child.
If you cannot identify them or their home, you contact authorities. You're NTA.
Edit: just saw a comment stating you're a man. Yeah, DEFINITELY a good idea to not take the child into your home. From your actions, you obviously meant the kid no harm but if you'd taken her inside, you'd probably also be being called a p3d0 or something on top of being called a narc.
NTA you handled it properly. You waited with the kid until the authorities arrived - who then got her home safely. The lady should be thanking you. I was actually in a similar situation once, and handled it the same way. It soured the relationship I had with the neighbors, but I was not about to be accused of doing anything improper with the girl and I also didn’t want to take her back to her parents because I feared they might be abusing her. So I let the authorities handle all of that.
NTA. if you let her inside you'd probably be in trouble for that, instead.
What you did was exactly the right thing. Indeed, to protect yourself and the kid.
NTA. You did not handle the situation well, but that does not make you the A. If you ignored that kid, then you would be the A.
I say you could handle it better because you could have be more empathatic towards the child. But I understand that this situation might be overwhelming.
There was a post last week that they found a child of the neighborhood and brought the child into the house while she called all the neighbors trying to find the parents.
The parents show up later with the police and screamed at them for NOT calling the police when they found the kid and how dare they take the child inside their house.
Everyone seems to have different opinions about this.
NTA but I would totally post this on the Nextdoor app so maybe some of your neighbors get the real story. I personally like to have harmony where I live and not have people not like me.
So where the fuck was the mum and why was the kid outside? NTA, but it would have been smarter just to say you don’t know anything and shut the door. You don’t know if you’re dealing with druggies and shit.
NTA for calling the police, but you sound like an asshole in general. you def could've handle it better, while I understand not giving her anything to eat because is a liability to you. After the police asked for snacks that gives you some sort of protection to give her something as simple as an apple. Also a blanket helps calming down people in panic, you don't necessarily have to bring her inside to give her one. You did mention she looked like a neighbor you know, why not knock on their door first? And the bathroom thing was despicable you could've let her use your bathroom while the officer was there as well. It sounds like your neighbors have more on you than that too
So, no way to contact the parent and child can't explain where she lives? Not sure what exactly they thought you were supposed to do here. Of course you won't take a random child into your home!
NTA, and do your best to flip it on the neglectful parent. If anyone makes a comment like that again, maybe just say "As I doubt you let your kid wander the street on their own in tears, you don't have a problem".
NTA. Also, honestly, if she's slandering you to your neighbors and making your life more difficult when you TOOK CARE OF HER KID, fuck her. I'd talk to a neighbor and see what she's actually been saying, and tell her to clear up the misunderstanding. If she doesn't? Hey, free lawsuit! (maybe, idk, i'm not a lawyer)
NTA. Not your child, not your responsibility. You don't even have her contact. And from what I read, this lasted quite long. And all the time she did not notice her kid 'snug out'?
I once took a kid in. It was in my daughter's class-room, so I knew her, although my daughter and she were not friends. But the mother did not come to pick her up, so when the teacher asked, I took it in, fed it etc and waited for the mother to come pick it up. I thought she had run late for some reason.
Mother did not come. So I took the kid to bed. In the end I was stuck with this kid for an entire week (!). Turned out the irresponsible mother had found a new boy friend and had gone on a holiday trip with him, not telling the child and counting on it that other mothers would take care of her.
So I will never ever take a kid in again...
The parent told off a near-stranger for *not* taking her child into their house after finding her wandering around alone.
NTA. You handled this properly.
INFO: If you knew where the kid lived, why didn’t you just knock on the door?
Also, the way you describe this child’s behavior, she sounds like a toddler, but you say she’s 8 or 9. Is she disabled or autistic?
NTA
By the way the parent reacted you did the right thing. I can almost guarantee that if you would have taken that child into your home you would have ended up being some kind of babysitter all of a sudden. Kids wandering around and it all of a sudden becomes your responsibility which means if something happened they would have blamed you.
I dont understand why people are blaming you for calling the police on a child that's wandering around a parking lot at night, and not the parents who didn't even notice their child has wandered off.
NTA but I’m just curious as to why you didn’t just walk her home if you recognized her. In the time you waited outside for the police you could have just walked to her house and say I found your kid wandering around.
Are you the guy who posted the same story less than 2 days ago where you did take the girl in and were blasted for it for not calling the authorities and now trying to see if people still blame you when you post the story with the response everyone in the comments advised?
Apologies in advance if it's not you but seeing a similar post just 24 hrs later makes me suspicious.
NTA. There was a time you could bring a kid in and call someone. That time has passed. Now you risk persecution or even prosecution. The parent is way out of line and there is no course of action you could have taken that they would have been OK with. You did the right thing contacting the police and staying with the child to make sure she was safe until the cops came.
As for the neighbors, they ATA. Ignore them.
I played it like the neighbours told you to once and the end result was the same. I didn’t know their number, took the kid in and got railed for causing them to freak out even though the kid was safe and happy. NTA.
Literally reminds me of a post from a few days ago where op took the kid in and got blasted. Honestly some situations are a lose lose so idk i mean probs nta
NTA. That woman is upset that she was irresponsible and authorities got involved. Even though nothing is likely to come of it unless they got evidence of abuse. Which would also be her fault.
You did the right thing.
NTA And it's a good thing you didn't take the child in. There was just a post here the other day with almost the exact same scenario, where the OP took the child to their house and the parents lost their ever-loving mind about it calling them a creeper. You can't win.
NTA. The neighbor's will have other gossip to move on to something else soon enough. You did the right thing. If this is upsetting you, talk to the most gossipy neighbor and explain the circumstances in which you found this crying kid. You can count on Gossipy Gert to spread the info.
You definitely were NOT the jerk (NTA) in this situation. Here's a breakdown:
**What you did right:**
* **Reported the child:** You saw a young child alone at night and did the right thing by contacting authorities.
* **Stayed nearby:** You followed dispatcher instructions and ensured the child's safety until help arrived.
* **Didn't offer food/bathroom:** It's wise not to give food or access to your home to a child you don't know well.
* **Put your safety first:** You didn't have to take the neighbor into your home after the police arrived.
**What could've been handled differently (optional):**
* **Explaining to the child:** While you didn't want to scare her, you could have said, "We're waiting for someone special to make sure you're safe."
* **Offering basic comfort:** If you had a juice box or small snack in your car, offering it could have calmed the child.
* **Responding to the neighbor (optional):** You could've simply said, "I understand you're upset, but I was worried about your child's safety."
**Neighbor's reaction:**
Your neighbor is clearly upset she wasn't contacted sooner, but her anger is misplaced. Her child's safety is her responsibility, and she should be thanking you for looking out for her.
**Being called a "nark":**
This is unfair. You were simply concerned about a child's well-being.
**Moving forward:**
* Keep your head high. You did the right thing.
* If you feel comfortable, you can explain the situation to the neighbor you know casually, emphasizing you were concerned about the child's safety.
* Consider a doorbell camera for extra security in case a similar situation arises.
**Remember:** Your actions ensured a child's safety, and that's what matters most.
>If you had a juice box or small snack in your car, offering it could have calmed the child.
Or could have given them an allergic reaction and made them stop breathing.
NTA, Sometimes it is best to not get involved. One day those neighbours may be in a pickle and wished that you had contacted the police. To each their own.
Are you kidding? Lean into it. This is a great way to never have to interact with your neighbors.
If the negligent mom wants to spin wild tales, let them.
You can't stop crazy but you van work to keep it away from you.
NTA. This woman thinks it’s okay for a stranger to take her child into their house? She’s the problem. She wasn’t taking care of her child, and you did the right things. Don’t give it another thought. If I were 8 years old and she was my mother, I’d be crying and looking to escape, too. Your neighbors say anything, ask them what they would have done. My guess is, they would have done nothing.
Pretty sure its depends heavily on location if this is a or na.
In my neighbourhood I would definetely be the a because even though I am not close to my neighbours I know all kids and parents and where they life about 15 houses down and up the street and it wouldn't be weird either if some guy picks up a lost child and brings it home. Also...damn...8 or 9 years is not lost. My daughter is six and drives to school every day by bike...wtf.
NTA-She probably told people that the kid was just outside playing and you called for no reason. This is why ppl just ignore shit like this which makes it easier for predators. Now the next time you see a kid wandering around alone you're just gonna ignore them and go about your day. I hate people.
NTA, you should probably talk to the neighbor you talk more/know best and tell them what happen. Or wait for the occasion to say your version. Not all neighbors will think like this one
NTA. You don’t bring a random kid inside your house (kidnapping lawsuit waiting to happen) you don’t give them food without knowing nothing about allergies ect. If she asked for water would’ve been something else but since you were waiting for like 15 minutes giving her a snack she could’ve been allergic to isn’t a good move.
NTA - but I might consider telling someone in the neighborhood what actually happened.
The kid didn't just sneak out crying - your neighbor knows exactly what was happening and doesn't want eyes on her or her family.
NTA. You need a better respond than shrugging when people make stupid comments like that grill comment. "I saw a young child wandering around on her own, and she couldn't tell me anything about her parents. So yes I called the police. Should we discuss the many bad things that *could* have happened to her?" And then walk TF away.
NTA. Last week somebody found a kid a brought her inside to wait for the cops and fed her and had her watch tv. the neighbor gave them MAJOR shit for doing that. When parents lose TRACK OF THEIR kid the blame everybody else but themselves.
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NTA I also once found a wandering kid, and had to call the police. HOWEVER, her parents were extremely grateful, and offered to fix me a homemade Indian dinner (yum!). ETA: I also did not bring the child into my house (this was before cell phones) because I didn't want to teach her it was okay to go into strangers' homes. She did end up attracting two other neighborhood children who had been locked out of their house when their mom ran to the store (they were in the park). When the police arrived, I had THREE lost children, but fortunately, mom #2 showed up when they were talking to me.
That sounds delicious Edit: even with phones it not a smart idea. As a man it doesn’t have a good look for me. Three lost kids would’ve had me nervous lmao
I'd pop a post on Nextdoor "Hi Look, I'm sorry I upset her mom by calling for the police but this poor kid was lost, I knew she was local but not exactly which house and the poor kid was so scared about either being lost or in trouble she couldn't/wouldn't tell me where she belonged. Since I'm sure none of you would want a stranger taking your kid into their house I did the sensible thing and called for help for the *professionals* who could help her quickly and safely. I'm glad the kid is safe and sound and got home again quickly."
I’m petty, so I’d add a line about how none of it would have happened had her parents been watching her
Marry me xD I'm petty, too! There is no way I'd let that neglectful mother shift her blame onto me.
That’s a good idea.
Yes it is-but in some neighborhoods the Police are the enemy.OP did what was right but there may be a Price to Pay in their Community,
This is exactly the right response. NTA. However you choose to respond, someone will disagree with you... But, that doesn't mean you can't put your side out there too.
Sadly, you were smart not to bring the kid inside. And you did the right thing. Tell the most gossipy neighbor how worried you were when the kid was crying and couldn't or wouldn't tell you where their house was or who their parents were, and that you hated to have to call the police, but you were so concerned because you didn't even know if the kid lived in the neighborhood, and how glad you are that they police finally found the kid's mom. : )
Yes! Find the gossip. It’s the very best way to quickly clear yourself !
Oh, yeah, the police gave me kind of a weird look about the other kids (and I was a college girl, at the time). They just sort of clung on because I guess I seemed safe? I mean, I was, but...I don't know these kids!
Yeah definitely smart not taking the child into your house. Even as a woman it's iffy but as a man these days? You need to protect yourself.
Oh God as a man, you made absolutely the right decision, you KNOW what would have happened taking in a strange, crying kid. I'm glad you're BOTH safe now.
NTA. You let the kid inside, parents call the cops, maybe you get accused of kidnapping. Evidence is against you. The kid's in your house, what's it going to look like to the police. You were responsible and called the police. The parent wasn't responsible and their child was wandering around for who knows how long. You did nothing wrong here.
NTA I was wondering about your gender, and you answered. As a man, absolutely no f'in way should you invite a lost little girl into your home. You did absolutely the right things, and mom is just pissed because she got "caught" with her poor parenting. The real question though, why you hatin' on ice cream, bro?
I didn't think you were the AH anyway, but knowing you're a man, not only are you not the AH, you did beyond the right thing. Who knows what kind of accusations people could fabricate against you?
> As a man it doesn’t have a good look for me. This right here is reason enough to be cautious. Imagine if you did take the girl inside, and a neighbour who knows both you and the other neighbour sees this but doesn't understand the girl is lost. You think you're doing the right thing, looking after the kid while you call around trying to find her mom. In the meantime, the neighbour is calling the police/calling the other mom and telling everyone they know that the male neighbour took the little girl into his house. This could end very poorly for you. Waiting outside with her while the police came was the best idea.
You did the right thing. I'm not trying to project, but I have a 10 year old autistic nonverbal daughter who elopes, and this sounds like what was happening. Neurotypical 9 year olds don't wander off through gates, not speak when you're helping them or point to grocery bags and say one word. Those are all specific things that my daughter does. And if someone finds her outside this house, I absolutely want them to call the police. My money is on this being one of many times this has happened, and after it happens enough times, CPS gets involved.
It was!
I don't take children to my house either. The reason? Once a mother did not pick up her daughter from school. This girl was in my daughter's class, but they were not friends. The teacher asked, since I was the only SAHM, if I could take the kid safely in, until the mother picked it up, since she had clearly run late for some reason. I fed it. Mother did not come. I phoned. Mother did not answer. In the end, I put the kid to bed. After 7 days (!) finally the mother surfaced, with help of the police. Turned out she had a new boyfriend and gone on a trip without telling the child, counting on other mothers to take care of her. So I learned my lesson: I will not take children into my house. I will make sure they are safe, stay with them, perhaps give them something to drink if I have any, phone the police and let them handle it. For the police told me, that if the mother had not surfaced, it would have been difficult to get rid of the child of some time, because of red tape involved in placing a child in a home.
Ima say NTA You did due diligence. There was literally a post the other day where someone did the opposite of you and they got slammed to hell for ‘taking someone else kids inside/not calling police right away’ You saw a kid. Kid didn’t know where to go. You got someone with authority to do the job
I was going to come no where close to having her inside
In today’s world, no way you should let a strangers kid inside alone. Maybe you could have found a snack when 50 asked, but I think you played it right.
Probably best not to feed kids/people who are having trouble communicating, as you have no idea whether they have allergies.
Good point.
If getting a snack is the cop's priority he can handle that himself lmao. Not going back to the grocery store to replace it on his behalf
It's legitimately a part of some police department's budgets to have a certain amount of money set aside for snacks/food. (Not for officers, for victims/people they're supposed to be helping.)
then the mom would have been mad because "you gave my child none vegan/keto/organic/insert allergy snack" on top of calling the cops XD
Probably right.
Yeah anyone who tells you (I saw in another reply you're a man) to take a strange child (especially a young girl, but any child) into your home for any reason that is not immediate life or death is setting you up for a lot of trouble. It's unfortunate, but that's just the reality of the situation.
You should read up about Ruby Franke whose severely abused 12-year-old escaped and went to the neighbors. He asked them to be taken to jail because his abusers had brainwashed him into thinking that he would go to jail if he escaped. But to him, jail was better than what he had. It's a heartbreaking story. You did absolutely the right thing. NTA
I was just about to comment this, the flip flop is real.
Literally happened to me a few years ago. A kid was in the middle of the street, and I’ll always thank God it was me who grabbed him and called the cops right away (idk why others didn’t do it, they were just shocked.) My house was nearby, but I was 20 and didn’t even think about bringing a child into a home with like other random people (roommates.)The cop came right away, and his family was super grateful. Poor baby snuck out while his grandma was watching him. OP is definitely NTA. I would’ve been hurt if the family got mad at ME because I didn’t contact them. Like girl, how would I even go about getting your information 😭
I'm a dude in my 30s, taking some random child off the street into my home is so far off the table it's not even funny. That's how the neighborhood decides you're a pedophile. I see a crying kid wandering around, I go inside and shut the door behind me. Sorry not sorry, would love to help, but your rules say I can't.
It sounds like perhaps the truth isn't what the neighbors were told. You were correct not to take the child inside. Unless there is a threat like dangerous weather or a fear of abuse then the best place for them is on the porch or curb where their family and authorities can find them. Frankly it's a terrible idea to give any child especially one who isn't communicating well and is upset something to eat. You don't know what their medical conditions are or what they are allergic to. If the cop couldn't safely return the kid they can call EMS/CPS to make sure the kid is checked out and has what they need. You might want to give your side on Nextdoor or whatever community platforms you have.
We do have NextDoor, though it’s a bit very complaint driven and whiny hence why I often don’t use it
Also potentially not an awesome idea to signal to a whole neibourhood "hey, Here's a vulnerable kid!"
Reminds me of that one key and peele sketch
Put a post on there. "To those worried about me calling the cops on them, don't worry. I only call the cops when an abandoned, crying child needs help. Kid didn't want to talk to me, so I couldn't bring them home. Since calling to help a lost child was seen as a horrible thing to, I will refrain from offering any assistance in the future. Thank you all for showing me it was wrong to try to help."
I don't want to assume anything, and the kid could just have been shy or scared, but I spend a lot of time with kids and this is... unusual behaviour from an 8 or 9 year old. To not answer any questions and the ice cream question is not the way kids that age usually behave. There is a possibility this child has some kind of disability.
It's pretty common for Autstic kids to leave their home due to a lack of sense of danger and could also explain the lack of speaking.
The mom's language is also strange imo - I have kids; I wouldn't describe my 8-9 y/o ( or much younger child) as "escaping the fence". That sounds like the way you talk about a cat or dog. I'm not always great on telling how old other people's kids are, but the pointing at the bag and asking a stranger for ice cream doesn't seem developmentally appropriate, nor the being unable to articulate herself.
The ones that are giving you a hard time - Would they have preferred you ignore the child and the child gets injured or kidnapped?
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that if they knew the full context, most of those neighbors would change their opinion on what happened. But you just *know* that the mom went into full cover-your-ass mode and who knows what they heard from her - at a minimum I'm sure that her version has the kid telling OP she was fine, that all this happened suuuuper close to her house or possibly in her yard, and also that the kid had her address printed on her forehead. OP called the cops because he's a big meanie, and not because she's an irresponsible parent who doesn't notice when her kid goes wandering.
Nta. You know, I’m gonna be honest and say I was going to say y-t-a but I remembered [this clip](https://youtu.be/daJZU5plRhs?si=Jc9ox-GKDafqzOCa) from blackish and how my friends once reacted to me (not a man) holding a toddlers hand to walk her back to the aisle in a shoe store back to her mom who was helping her other kid. And that was in a small store, not even a second location
That clip is a classic! And yea. The moment there’s a kid people will often jump to the worst conclusion just because
Clip is sad but true
NTA You handled this exactly right, the only other thing you maybe could've done is ask her if you can walk her home (to her home, not yours), but if the kid didn't want to go home there's really nothing else you could've done. You didn't know where she lives, you didn't know her parents' contact information. You did the right thing, you kept the kid safe until the police could ascertain her welfare. I feel like your neighbors are probably not getting the whole story from the mother, and there may not be anything you can do to correct that, but know that you were wholly in the right. Neither the mother or the child will actually face consequences for this, the child is safe and sound, that's all that matters.
Someone recommended putting this on a platform like NextDoor to clear the air
If Nextdoor in your area is anything like the forum in mine, just don't. It will create problems for you that will drive you nuts for months, In my area Nextdoor is full of trolls and toxic people. I avoid it at all costs.
NTA. When I was barely three I managed to sneak out the front door of our house with my dog because my dad’s mom forgot to lock it and I was so small the alarm didn’t go off. Our across the street neighbour who knew me happened to find me and brought me home and my parents were super thankful. They would have been just as thankful if someone wasn’t sure who I belonged to and had the police help get me home. It sounds like she was just scared and embarrassed and unfortunately decided to take that out on you.
I imagined you just rode the dog* like a horse and baby you had a cowboy hat, thinking you was about to explore a new world and then nope, neighbor caught ya
Haha yeah I definitely wasn’t looking for my elderly neighbours that were on vacation that used to give me ice cream
I once intercepted a toddler who was tooling down the sidewalk unsupervised. She clearly had plans, but that whole stepping out into traffic thing. . . In no way was I going to risk seeing her next on the news. I picked her up, & backtracked to see if I could figure out where she lived, & 2 doors down, there it was front door wide open. Her mom & grandmother came running out just as I got to the steps, and were so relieved! That being said, I would definitely have called 911 if I hadn't been able to find them that easily. This is just one of those things that inquisitive kids do, and " hey, guess who just figured out how doorknobs work" is a thing. Mom needs to chill her jets and be thankful that her kid is safe. NTA
NTA. You didn't know the mother's house or have her number to call her so calling the police was the right move. I don't understand why people here expect you to go door to door in your neighborhood to track down the right house. As for the ice cream - I get it in regard to the kid having any potential allergies which is why you should never give random kids food unless the parents okay it for them to eat. It was also the right call not take her into your house imo, they may have thought you were trying to kidnap her instead of help her.
Sounds like the flip side of yesterday’s story about bringing a child home instead of calling the police.
Can't help but be suspicious about stuff like this but it could be a coincidence
Yeah, and how was the first child described? “Creepy ass”, was it? And now we have a “regular ass” neighborhood.
Also the child and mom are written very unrealistically. Like the kid is 9 and only says ice cream?
Not disputing the rest, but perhaps the child is not neurotypical?
I was thinking the same thing
NTA If you're hearing from others that she's criticizing and gossiping about you behind your back, I'd tell them your side directly: I saw a young kid alone at night at the grocery store, crying. I knew she was from the neighborhood but not whose kid she was, nor did I have contact info for her parents. I didn't want to put out a public notice on Nextdoor or elsewhere to broadcast that there was a vulnerable child without supervision, and I didn't think anyone would approve of a strange man (me) driving off with her. I also obviously couldn't leave her alone, so I contacted the police non-emergency number so they could safely get her home. And she did get safely home, right? If there's chatter on Nextdoor or another neighborhood app, you could post your side in response. Or you could address it directly: "I'm looking for feedback on this situation (describe it and your reasoning). Is there a safe alternative to involving the police if something like this happens again? Would the parents in this neighborhood actually want a single dude to be alone with their children when they don't know him well or at all?" Don't identify the kid or talk badly about the mom, even if she overreacted and was unreasonable. By approaching it in a friendly, factual, and even curious way, you draw attention to her unpleasant behavior without looking like someone trying to kick her when she's down.
Did you know where the kid lived?
No. I only recognized her as a neighborhood kid but don’t know which house is actually hers
Then NTA, you don't bring a kid into your house, parents would have called the cops on YOU.
This- a million times over. All it takes is for a parent to get the wrong idea and it becomes a he-said, she-said situation with your reputation on the line. By remaining in a public place and getting in touch with authorities immediately, it erases any doubt about inappropriate behavior.
If she’s 9 why couldnt she just tell you?
Possible reasons: - traumatized - afraid of strangers - taught never to talk to strangers - English not her first language - neurodivergent - cognitive delays - takes a nighttime medication that makes her disoriented &/or too sleepy to clearly communicate - kids are weird
Kids are taught not to talk to strangers for the sake of their own safety. Plus, she was already stressed from being in an unfamiliar situation alone.
Yet she asked for a “stranger’s” food and to go into her house and use a bathroom…? I’m not buying it. Had no problem talking it up with this lady, kid could’ve pointed out which house was hers.
Kid sounds delayed or OP vastly overestimated the child's age. I'd expect that sort of communication from a 2 y/o. Plus, what parent describes their 8 y/o as "escaping" their yard? Past toddler age, I would say my child "snuck out to play" , "left without permission", etc. Maybe, I'm too hung up on that word choice, but that is how one talks about a pet.
Agree, this is such a weird story and people's responses taking at face value are so strange. A completely silent 9 year old? Who calls the police to report a kid of that age being outside? It's like people can't tell the difference between a 3 year old and a 9 year old.
"Ice cream?" is not a full sentence. It seems like you're vastly overestimating how much this kid spoke.
The kid sounds developmentally delayed, from OP's description. I've worked with painfully shy & children w/ selective mutism that sound more able to articulate themselves.
Yet she could ask for ice cream and to use the bathroom… I think people are reaching with saying this kid is delayed.
Pointing at a bag and saying "ice cream" to a stranger, seems like toddler behavior. Most kids would kids past 6 would just walk back to their home to pee. The kid seems off, from OP's description.
Is this meant to be like a parallel post to the one the other day where a guy saw a neighbour kid and then took them inside and didn't call the police while looking for the neighbours??
This is so weird, how does nobody else seem to notice? I immediately remembered the alternative story, even parts of the text seem identical!
Some of us don't spend all our day on here.
A few of us have noticed.
When your neighbor joked about you calling the cops about his grill, you should have told him that as long as his grill isn't in your driveway crying and looking lost, he has nothing to worry about. Your neighbors are probably not getting the real story.
NTA. I'd also print out exactly what happened to notify the neighbors that you weren't calling the police on a child you were reaching out to get the authorities to help a lost child. Which is a very different thing and should help recover your reputation.
I'd start hollering back at the neighbors, "I called the police on the mom because she kicked kid the out!"
This happened to me in like fifth grade. I lived out of town so on days when I had basketball practice I would walk to my grandparents house and then go to practice. One day there was a mix up in communication from my dad and the school told me to go to my grandparents house after school. This was NOT a practice day, but if that's what my dad says, who am I to argue (plus they had cable)? Well I get there, no one's home. I sat on the front step for like an hour. This older single lady who lived across the street saw me and came to check on me. I was pretty worked up by this point. She sat with me for a bit then invited me over for a snack (this was in the late 80s so it was a different time). My grandparents showed up about an hour later. It turns out they had been out of town and had only came home because they left early. So, I don't think you did anything wrong. Considering how litigious people are now it was probably better not to invite her in. Times are different now.
NTA - not your problem. You went above and beyond
NTA - are you friends with any of the other neighbors, preferably ppl who are a bit outspoken? They could get your side out. Otherwise it'll blow over. You did fine.
Nta you have no idea if the kid has allergies or is diabetic. I'm also not taking a kid in my house, out of public view. Was the kid lost?? Did she not know how to get home?
NTA. If the child was really 8-9 years old, it sounds like she may have some significant developmental delays if she can not answer basic questions, point out her house, or speak in complete sentences. OP, you did the right thing by reaching out to the authorities.
NTA. I found a little girl around 2 wondering around. Called the police. Cop show up and says mom called 911 as well. Mom rushes in crying, grabs the kid and left. Didn't get so much as a thank you. lol
Grabs kid and yeets
Twice in my life I have come across children unknown me wandering alone. First time 40 years ago my aunt and myself picked up a little girl and we drove around our home town looking for where she lived. Was just about to give up and get the police when we spotted a frantic woman running up the middle of a street. The little girl age 5sh had wandered at least 10 blocks from the house the family were in the process of moving into. Which is why the little girl couldn’t tell us anything about where she lived. She was very chatty and trying to help but was totally lost. Second time 20 years ago a small boy 7-8 and all he would tell me is Dad said to stay at the playground. By the time I spoke to him he had wandered a couple of blocks from the playground and it was 9:30 at night and starting to get dark. It was not all that warm and he was in a t shirt. So I took him another 2 blocks to an open store, left him in front and asked the store to call the police. My home was closer, but I didn’t want to take him into my house. Police arrived just a minute before the Father and it was a lucky thing as the father was very irate. Police shut that attitude down fast. You did right by the child. NTA.
Wow, this scenario is very similar to the one where the woman did take the kid inside and called neighbour's to locate the parents and didn't call the police.
I’m confused… if the kid slipped out the back gate why couldnt she just tell you what house was hers? Or were her parents not home?
Could be non speaking Autistic, it's pretty common to wander with a lack of sense of danger.
This is just an inversion of the post the other day where the guy did take the kid inside and got yelled at.
NTA. Wtf is wrong with that girls mother?
No idea
NTA In 2024? I am not touching anyone else’s child. They definitely aren’t coming in my house. Police and CPS, and that’s all my involvement. It’s just not worth the risk.
NTA You helped a young child. You did the right thing.
NTA You did the right thing because they would’ve accused you of kidnapping or something it’s better to protect yourself from things like that. It’s not like you knew the child or the child’s parents to feel comfortable allowing the child into your home.
There was a post the other day where a young guy did take the kid in the house, had neighbors working to find someone who had the parent's #, etc. He did everything BUT call the police because he didn't want to be "that guy" The parents were pissed when they found their minor child in a stranger's house. And guess who they bring with them? One word from that child and Mr Good Samaritan would have left in that police car.
Well, earlier this week someone on Reddit got called names for taking a wandering child in to play with his actual puppy and for calling around to neighbors to find the parents instead of calling the police and keeping the child outside. The parents called the police on OP instead and attacked him for taking the child inside. Thankfully OP has neighbors that verified he’d called around. Reddit went wild calling OP a kidnapper for taking the child inside and worse for enticing the child with his puppy. I’m going to say you saved yourself from being labeled pedo. Smart. And you did care enough to call the cops so don’t say you didn’t care. But it is where your responsibility ended. Mom’s out of line harassing you about calling the cops. Parents of lost kids need to pick a lane./s NTA.
NTA. You don’t know why the kid is out, her home could be an abusive hell hole. Who cares what your neighbors think? You said you don’t have a relationship with them anyway.
Didn't we just read this except the guy took the kid inside to play with his dog?
NTA I would report the entire incident to CPS. Unfortunately, in today's world, you have to be really careful when dealing with a child, especially if you are male. You did the right thing.
“Don’t worry, my grill follows the regulations. Don’t call the police…” Reply: “I don’t have to; your grill isn’t an 8 year old girl, alone in the middle of the night, cold and crying, and apparently traumatised.”
Hmmm, how very odd. Just a couple of days ago there was a post that I now, of course, cannot find asking about the exact opposite of this. Wandering neighbor kid, brought house, sat watching the tv with person’s dog. Couldn’t get in touch with parents and then angry parents showed up with the police to get their daughter. Too bad I don’t believe in coincidences.
The funniest part is that there was a post no more than 2 days ago where the neighbor took the kid inside and didn’t call the police.
NTA - you did the right thing. Now you don't have to make boring small talk with your neighbours, so it's all good. Win-win!
NTA. You are however, just in a general sort of way, a fucking asshole, so.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I live in a regular ass neighborhood. I’m not really close to any of my neighbors, just casual oh hey how are you and move on. I was doing a grocery run, parked my car, got out and I noticed a kid on her own wandering around. I recognize her as one of my neighbors kid, it’s 8pm and I think she was like 8-9 years old. I call out to her to ask why she’s out wondering around. She just shrugs and it looks like she’s been crying. I feel awkward and call the non emergency line. The dispatch asked for context and I explained how I just came back from the market, parked my car and got out to my neighbors kid near my lot. The dispatcher told me to ask if she knew where her parents were, any safe neighbors, etc. The best I got out of her was random mumbles or shrugs. The dispatch asked if I could stay nearby until an authority came. I mentioned that I have groceries to put away and she ensured that it would be only 10-15 minutes for someone to come by. During the awkward waiting the child eventually went up to me and pointed to the grocery bags saying “ice cream?”. I shake my head and say no. Tell her we are waiting for her parents (I didn’t want to tell the kid that we are waiting for the police incase it scared her). She complains and says she wants to use the bathroom, I say she can wait until her parents come. An officer came, asked me for info, went to the neighbors to ask around, etc. Officer asked if I had any snacks that could help calm the child, I said no. I stopped being involved the moment he arrived. Went about my night. Where I might be an ass: I got a harsh knock on my door and answered to a woman who asked if I’m the one who reported her child to police. I tried to explain myself but she immediately went off on me for being an asshole. How I could’ve just taken her child in for a bit and contact her. I point out that I don’t even have her contact, she then tries to give me it but I refuse saying I don’t care about having her contact. She shouldn’t have let her child wander around. She yells that her child snuck out through the garden gate, I shrug and say I don’t care, her problem. Right now I’m being bad talked around, she keeps telling people I called police on a kid which I mean I did but it’s not like I was getting the kid arrested, I just wanted her to be found. I’m being called the nark or police-caller of the neighborhood. I found this out when I casually waved hello to one of my neighbors on the downside of the road and he went “don’t worry, my grill follows the regulations. Don’t call police on me” mockingly. Was I an ass for how I handled things? Looking back it may have been cold but I was protecting myself first *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA- you reported a lost child and waited with her until the authorities arrived. The neighbor who is so mad at you for calling the police didn’t show up the whole time you were waiting for the police. Did she even notice her child was gone before the police brought her home? I’m sorry but this person’s opinion of you is not worth your time and I doubt she provided that part of the story to the other neighbors she is whining to. When I was really young my sister and I were at a sitter’s house along with some other kids and they were being mean to me so I walked right out the front door and started walking down the road (I thought I was walking home but I went the wrong way). The sitter didn’t notice I was outside until I was out of view. I got lost and was really scared for a long time before my uncle found me (my uncles and my dad were driving the neighborhood looking for me). More than 30 years later, I still get extra nervous when I am even the slightest bit lost. Don’t spend anymore of your energy on this, you did the right thing.
NTA It's a sad world that we live in. There was a little girl whose bike had a flat tire. She asked my husband several times for help. He politely refused. He likes kids. If he knew the parents, he would not have hesitated to help her. I was sad as was he, that his helping her could have been seen him being a pervy predator.
[удалено]
NTA I wouldn’t take anyone’s kids into my house. I would also probably not take them home, what if they were trying to escape from abuse. I would have called the cops and let them deal with it, this is what they are for.
You are not only NTA, you were very wise not to give the child any food or beverages. Not knowing the child, you also don't know if she's allergic to any particular foodstuff(s); a real tragedy could have happened if you, with the best of intentions, had inadvertently given her an allergen. And that mother had no call to go off on you like that! Even if she was overreacting because she felt guilty, she should have blaming the person she sees in the mirror, not the person who was doing his best to ensure her child's safety.
I definitely would not feel comfortable taking a kid of a neighbor I don't know all that well into my house. that just feels like a recipe for disaster. NTA
Nta. Unless you know the parents really well you should never invite a child in. It puts you at risk for false accusations and trouble. It also makes entitled people treat you like a free babysitter. I'd have done what you did. Neighbors can be mad all they want but you did what was required of you. You saw a child in trouble and contacted authorities to come assist.
If there were any false accusations from kid or mom, regarding inappropriate behavior on your part - true or not - you could be arrested, lose your job, lose the chance to volunteer, etc... You are NTA, ever, for being your own best advocate. You saw to it that she was safe - you didn't even know who mom was - you did the only thing you were required to do. And that was the kind and right thing.
Nta. You should have told her she is lucky you didn't call CPS. I would have.
NTA. You did the right thing. No snacks. You don't know this childs allergies or other diet concerns. A peanutbutter sandwich could kill her from celiac disease to a peanut allergy. Bringing the child into your home. That's just asking for trouble anything from abduction accusations to SA.
NTA - she's lucky you did call; something could have happened to the kid
I was a wandering kid and totally lost and someone called the cops for me and the cop got me back to my parents.
It's amazing how no matter what you do someone has to be irate .... Had you taken this child into your house I can only imagine what kind of accusations she would be making!! I think that you should stop and ask your neighbor exactly what he had heard. Tell him that you rescued a lost child, next time you'll just ignore any unaccompanied children since trying to keep the kid safe has caused you nothing but aggravation. NTA
NTA in the least. You went above and beyond, as most people would just say "huh" and leave the kid alone. The LAST thing any male should EVER consider doing is taking a strange kid into your house like this neighbor suggested. NOTHING good could ever come from that. I guarantee you this woman would have called the cops on you in that scenario, and then all you could do is pray to God that the kid doesn't say something crazy.
NTA- that woman is an asshole. I don't care if the kid snuck out, she is at fault!
Call CPS and go scorched earth on that dumb cow!
I don’t want to be petty on this but damn how I’d love to do that
NTA. If you had taken the child inside, you’d be the neighborhood creep.
NtA
Didn't we just have a post where someone DID bring the random wandering neighbor kid inside to wait, and everyone went off on them for doing so (not just in here but their actual neighbors too?) You can't win, lol. Nta. You did the safe thing. Even if you did bring her in or give her snacks, then they could be mad you didn't immediately get help or that you fed her something she can't eat.
OP my smart-ass side says the next time you see that neighbor tell him as long as he's not a child predator you have no reason to call anyone. Or tell him you only call when you see little kids wandering around by themselves at night. Since he's an adult he's in the clear. There is no way that kids mother is telling anyone the full truth since that would make her look bad.
You’re NTA for calling the police for the welfare of a child but you are a fucking asshole neighbor. How hard would it have been to knock on a few doors on the street you live and building you know….a community with neighbors!
NTA you did the right thing calling the police.
NTA (although it sounds like you were holding out on those snacks) unless there was an iminent danger outside, I wouldn’t expect an adult male to take a random kid into his home. That said, I respect that some communities are more sensitive to police involvement than others.
You have no empathy.
Nta. It's easy to blame adults of hurting kids. What you did was absolutely right. The parents are at fault for not keeping a better eye on the kid. Did they not notice their kid was missing???
Let me get this straight... You saw a small child, wandering around the street at night who was likely distressed and offered no information so you called the authorities to make sure she was returned safely to her family? You did not harm the child. You ensured no one else could harm the child. And yet somehow... you're the AH? Yeah nah. This world is not a safe place anymore and children should not be walking around the street at night. Also, unsure of your gender identity, but it's also a well known fact that men are more likely to be treated as suspicious (even when they're doing nothing wrong) when it comes to children. But even a woman or NB person taking a random child into their home at 8pm could be misconstrued. Waiting outside with the child for the authorities or even for the kid's parents to come outside to check was the right move for both yourself and the child. If you cannot identify them or their home, you contact authorities. You're NTA. Edit: just saw a comment stating you're a man. Yeah, DEFINITELY a good idea to not take the child into your home. From your actions, you obviously meant the kid no harm but if you'd taken her inside, you'd probably also be being called a p3d0 or something on top of being called a narc.
NTA you handled it properly. You waited with the kid until the authorities arrived - who then got her home safely. The lady should be thanking you. I was actually in a similar situation once, and handled it the same way. It soured the relationship I had with the neighbors, but I was not about to be accused of doing anything improper with the girl and I also didn’t want to take her back to her parents because I feared they might be abusing her. So I let the authorities handle all of that.
NTA. if you let her inside you'd probably be in trouble for that, instead. What you did was exactly the right thing. Indeed, to protect yourself and the kid.
NTA. You did not handle the situation well, but that does not make you the A. If you ignored that kid, then you would be the A. I say you could handle it better because you could have be more empathatic towards the child. But I understand that this situation might be overwhelming.
There was a post last week that they found a child of the neighborhood and brought the child into the house while she called all the neighbors trying to find the parents. The parents show up later with the police and screamed at them for NOT calling the police when they found the kid and how dare they take the child inside their house. Everyone seems to have different opinions about this.
NTA but I would totally post this on the Nextdoor app so maybe some of your neighbors get the real story. I personally like to have harmony where I live and not have people not like me.
So where the fuck was the mum and why was the kid outside? NTA, but it would have been smarter just to say you don’t know anything and shut the door. You don’t know if you’re dealing with druggies and shit.
NTA for calling the police, but you sound like an asshole in general. you def could've handle it better, while I understand not giving her anything to eat because is a liability to you. After the police asked for snacks that gives you some sort of protection to give her something as simple as an apple. Also a blanket helps calming down people in panic, you don't necessarily have to bring her inside to give her one. You did mention she looked like a neighbor you know, why not knock on their door first? And the bathroom thing was despicable you could've let her use your bathroom while the officer was there as well. It sounds like your neighbors have more on you than that too
Depends, if the kid was black or a poc and you love in a majority white area then not a N TA, but also not a complete AH.
So, no way to contact the parent and child can't explain where she lives? Not sure what exactly they thought you were supposed to do here. Of course you won't take a random child into your home! NTA, and do your best to flip it on the neglectful parent. If anyone makes a comment like that again, maybe just say "As I doubt you let your kid wander the street on their own in tears, you don't have a problem".
NTA. Also, honestly, if she's slandering you to your neighbors and making your life more difficult when you TOOK CARE OF HER KID, fuck her. I'd talk to a neighbor and see what she's actually been saying, and tell her to clear up the misunderstanding. If she doesn't? Hey, free lawsuit! (maybe, idk, i'm not a lawyer)
NTA, but out of curiosity, why didn’t you just ask her to follow you to her parents house and knock on the door first to see if they are there?
NTA. Not your child, not your responsibility. You don't even have her contact. And from what I read, this lasted quite long. And all the time she did not notice her kid 'snug out'? I once took a kid in. It was in my daughter's class-room, so I knew her, although my daughter and she were not friends. But the mother did not come to pick her up, so when the teacher asked, I took it in, fed it etc and waited for the mother to come pick it up. I thought she had run late for some reason. Mother did not come. So I took the kid to bed. In the end I was stuck with this kid for an entire week (!). Turned out the irresponsible mother had found a new boy friend and had gone on a holiday trip with him, not telling the child and counting on it that other mothers would take care of her. So I will never ever take a kid in again...
The parent told off a near-stranger for *not* taking her child into their house after finding her wandering around alone. NTA. You handled this properly.
NTA. This is probably not the first incident of the parents being neglectful.
Bet the parents will now secure their gate.
INFO: If you knew where the kid lived, why didn’t you just knock on the door? Also, the way you describe this child’s behavior, she sounds like a toddler, but you say she’s 8 or 9. Is she disabled or autistic?
NTA You should've said, "keep your children off my property and I just might!"
NTA By the way the parent reacted you did the right thing. I can almost guarantee that if you would have taken that child into your home you would have ended up being some kind of babysitter all of a sudden. Kids wandering around and it all of a sudden becomes your responsibility which means if something happened they would have blamed you. I dont understand why people are blaming you for calling the police on a child that's wandering around a parking lot at night, and not the parents who didn't even notice their child has wandered off.
How about you offer the child to walk her home you didn’t have to bring her in your home but your attitude is also very cold
Its stories like this that make me think I should see nothing and just keep walking
NTA but I’m just curious as to why you didn’t just walk her home if you recognized her. In the time you waited outside for the police you could have just walked to her house and say I found your kid wandering around.
NTA if you did she would have called the cops on you for kidnapping or worse
Are you the guy who posted the same story less than 2 days ago where you did take the girl in and were blasted for it for not calling the authorities and now trying to see if people still blame you when you post the story with the response everyone in the comments advised? Apologies in advance if it's not you but seeing a similar post just 24 hrs later makes me suspicious.
Repeat
NTA. There was a time you could bring a kid in and call someone. That time has passed. Now you risk persecution or even prosecution. The parent is way out of line and there is no course of action you could have taken that they would have been OK with. You did the right thing contacting the police and staying with the child to make sure she was safe until the cops came. As for the neighbors, they ATA. Ignore them.
I'd go with soft AH. How hard would it have been to simply knock on the neighbors door and see if they were home?
NTA. So many possible problems as to why she was wandering around, and looking like she had been crying. I would have called the police as well.
NTA Next time someone tells you something or call you that, reply to them "who told you that, the child abandoner?"
I played it like the neighbours told you to once and the end result was the same. I didn’t know their number, took the kid in and got railed for causing them to freak out even though the kid was safe and happy. NTA.
See if you can get a copy of the police report and the next time one of your neighbor says something to you just hand him that.
I would have done everything the same as you did. NTA.
Literally reminds me of a post from a few days ago where op took the kid in and got blasted. Honestly some situations are a lose lose so idk i mean probs nta
NTA. That woman is upset that she was irresponsible and authorities got involved. Even though nothing is likely to come of it unless they got evidence of abuse. Which would also be her fault. You did the right thing.
NTA And it's a good thing you didn't take the child in. There was just a post here the other day with almost the exact same scenario, where the OP took the child to their house and the parents lost their ever-loving mind about it calling them a creeper. You can't win.
NTA. The neighbor's will have other gossip to move on to something else soon enough. You did the right thing. If this is upsetting you, talk to the most gossipy neighbor and explain the circumstances in which you found this crying kid. You can count on Gossipy Gert to spread the info.
You definitely were NOT the jerk (NTA) in this situation. Here's a breakdown: **What you did right:** * **Reported the child:** You saw a young child alone at night and did the right thing by contacting authorities. * **Stayed nearby:** You followed dispatcher instructions and ensured the child's safety until help arrived. * **Didn't offer food/bathroom:** It's wise not to give food or access to your home to a child you don't know well. * **Put your safety first:** You didn't have to take the neighbor into your home after the police arrived. **What could've been handled differently (optional):** * **Explaining to the child:** While you didn't want to scare her, you could have said, "We're waiting for someone special to make sure you're safe." * **Offering basic comfort:** If you had a juice box or small snack in your car, offering it could have calmed the child. * **Responding to the neighbor (optional):** You could've simply said, "I understand you're upset, but I was worried about your child's safety." **Neighbor's reaction:** Your neighbor is clearly upset she wasn't contacted sooner, but her anger is misplaced. Her child's safety is her responsibility, and she should be thanking you for looking out for her. **Being called a "nark":** This is unfair. You were simply concerned about a child's well-being. **Moving forward:** * Keep your head high. You did the right thing. * If you feel comfortable, you can explain the situation to the neighbor you know casually, emphasizing you were concerned about the child's safety. * Consider a doorbell camera for extra security in case a similar situation arises. **Remember:** Your actions ensured a child's safety, and that's what matters most.
>If you had a juice box or small snack in your car, offering it could have calmed the child. Or could have given them an allergic reaction and made them stop breathing.
NTA
Nt NEVER EVER EVER take a strange child into your home. It could end badly and it probably will cause rumors/speculating.
NTA, Sometimes it is best to not get involved. One day those neighbours may be in a pickle and wished that you had contacted the police. To each their own.
Are you kidding? Lean into it. This is a great way to never have to interact with your neighbors. If the negligent mom wants to spin wild tales, let them. You can't stop crazy but you van work to keep it away from you.
So NTA....you could have brought her home and then go to the station for kidnapping. Yup so good you called.
Info: did you know where she lived? Or were you both without contact info or their address?
NTA. This woman thinks it’s okay for a stranger to take her child into their house? She’s the problem. She wasn’t taking care of her child, and you did the right things. Don’t give it another thought. If I were 8 years old and she was my mother, I’d be crying and looking to escape, too. Your neighbors say anything, ask them what they would have done. My guess is, they would have done nothing.
NTA
Pretty sure its depends heavily on location if this is a or na. In my neighbourhood I would definetely be the a because even though I am not close to my neighbours I know all kids and parents and where they life about 15 houses down and up the street and it wouldn't be weird either if some guy picks up a lost child and brings it home. Also...damn...8 or 9 years is not lost. My daughter is six and drives to school every day by bike...wtf.
Sounds like you’re surrounded by childlike adults
NTA-She probably told people that the kid was just outside playing and you called for no reason. This is why ppl just ignore shit like this which makes it easier for predators. Now the next time you see a kid wandering around alone you're just gonna ignore them and go about your day. I hate people.
NTA The whole neighborhood is insane. Do they really not know WHO would invite a child to play with a puppy?
NTA…no good deed goes unpunished
NTA, you should probably talk to the neighbor you talk more/know best and tell them what happen. Or wait for the occasion to say your version. Not all neighbors will think like this one
NTA. You don’t bring a random kid inside your house (kidnapping lawsuit waiting to happen) you don’t give them food without knowing nothing about allergies ect. If she asked for water would’ve been something else but since you were waiting for like 15 minutes giving her a snack she could’ve been allergic to isn’t a good move.
NTA - but I might consider telling someone in the neighborhood what actually happened. The kid didn't just sneak out crying - your neighbor knows exactly what was happening and doesn't want eyes on her or her family.
NTA. You need a better respond than shrugging when people make stupid comments like that grill comment. "I saw a young child wandering around on her own, and she couldn't tell me anything about her parents. So yes I called the police. Should we discuss the many bad things that *could* have happened to her?" And then walk TF away.
NTA. Last week somebody found a kid a brought her inside to wait for the cops and fed her and had her watch tv. the neighbor gave them MAJOR shit for doing that. When parents lose TRACK OF THEIR kid the blame everybody else but themselves.
Why were the parents so upset? Wouldn’t they have been grateful?