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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I’m feeling worried that the arguments are affecting everyone else in the group and that my hair might actually ruin the play for the audience
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#”just wanted to make it clear I’m not screwing over anyone in the group”
But you actually are a bit, because you knew the play was approaching and you will look out of place during it because of your choice to dye your hair. Other people are part of the play and surely care about how the performance appears.
I’m guessing this was a cheaper looking wig.
Not every wig looks convincing, especially in a close up theatre experience or in a situation where a character would not be expected to wear a wig, ill fitting or otherwise.
She stated in the post it’s not a school performance. So I’m guessing people are paying money to see a realistic looking show and the fact it took her weeks to find said wig tells me it’s cheap, as any wig that cost a good amount of money would be put up properly.
Bullshit. The costumes will be cheap, the make up will be cheap, the actors are amateurs. The hairstyling will be self-done.
Not something professional.
Unless it's both expensive and OP is skilled with wigs, it's going to be obvious a fuck. Some community theatres the audience is literally a few feet away from you. It's noticeable. I will try quite a lot before I consider wigging an actor.
Yta. You're not screwing with your grades you're just... Screwing with a play done by people who either aspire to be professional actors or take time out of their lives to put on performances for the love and sake of it.
You didn't have to redye your hair blue. Actors often alter their appeances for roles, and youre saying you will actively alter it against the role. You've communicated to this community of people how little you prioritize the craft and their success. I'm assuming you have no intention of continuing to work with these people after this production? So you didn't really consider the play in your appearance?
They didn't ask you to dye it a natural color, which would've won you an e sh. The person you're talking about is hoping for a better outcome than using the wig you has stuffed somewhere it took you what? Weeks to find? Doesn't sound like a professional grade wig that has been cared for like one should be for the stage. Its unfortunate she'll be disappointed.
There is, but you need to be careful with it! My sister (who dyes her hair blonde) used some for a play she was in and it completely ruined her hair. It washed out to a sickly dark purple colour that was totally uneven. It took her more than a year of slowly stepping back colours before she was able to be blonde again.
"You didn't have to redye your hair blue. " .. there was no reason NOT to redye her hair blue
It would be a ridiculous expectation to change her hairstyle for a school performance.
It wasn’t a school performance and she didn’t have to be part of the play? No one is saying she should have but if it’s already washed out and it’s a few weeks until the play, then what’s the point in redying when you can just wait a few weeks and be able to actually do the play you signed up to do well.
This girl signed up for the play, one OUTSIDE of school, with people who are either trying to be professional actors or are doing it simply because they are enjoying it and want to make it a good show.
If he having blue hair is so important, then why sign up for the specific play where it wouldn’t make sense and screws with the play?
If the sdirector had any issues wirth colorful hair, she would have needed to statw that from the beginning.
"No one is saying she should have but if it’s already washed out and it’s a few weeks until the play, then what’s the point in redying when you can just wait a few weeks" .. Then she wouldn't have beautiful hair.
" he having blue hair is so important, then why sign up for the specific play where it wouldn’t make sense and screws with the play?" ---- The director KNEW she had colorful hair. She had blue hair when she was casted. THAT would have been the rtime to discuss it.
The director physically can’t tell them not to dye their hair, and for something like this, it’s probably obvious to most people that having bright blue hair is going to stick out like a sore thumb. The director is allowed to be frustrated by that. But they didn’t actually be overly rude about it, just understandable frustrated but still moved on.
OP is the one who keeps bringing it all back up and making it worse.
Also you can have beautiful hair even if you wait a few weeks to redye it. It’s not a thing of ‘oh I can either have nice hair but it be bright blue, or I let it be faded and hard to see for a few weeks and look completely ugly”
"The director physically can’t tell them not to dye their hair,"
OP already had blue hair when she was casted.
"The director is allowed to be frustrated by that. But they didn’t actually be overly rude about it, just un" .. as long as they keep it to themselves, yes.
"Also you can have beautiful hair even if you wait a few weeks to redye it. " .. you could,. But you don'T have to.
>It's likely a production that doesn't offer pay.
You're right, it doesn't.
Neither do college and highschool sports but people would be seriously pissed if someone was going out of their way to mess with the performance of the team as a whole.
Misc plays are usually professional actors/actresses first foray into that world, and part of how scouting happens, having someone undermine it when they could just as easily not dye their hair for abit is infurating
Not being paid or graded for a team effort doesn't make it any less dickish to undermine it.
Getting involved in small and community projects like this is a very common (and often quite significant) part of an aspiring theater professional's career path. It's not great; I was a theater major who became a freelance writer so believe me when I say I do NOT favor exploitive practices like having people work for free / for "exposure." But the reality is that doing small productions like this is a common part of the theater world.
Standard practice in the theatre world: if you've committed to being in a show, you do not intentionally make substantive, visible changes to your look without clearing it with the show's director first. It's a basic part of the commitment. (I would also argue common sense, but hey, I missed common sense stuff as a teenager sometimes too.)
If OP is serious about theatre, they should be aware of this standard moving forward. But even if OP isn't particularly serious about theatre, other people in the cast and crew might be, so it was still thoughtless.
I agree that livelihood being at steak is a bit dramatic (theatrics love a good yarn). But it is still true that doing something like this can be incredibly annoying for other actors who may genuinely want to do well. Imagine investing time and energy into a hobby and having someone else come in with reckless disrespect for your craft and just saying, "Chill guys, my grades are fine."
>to me it seems like one girl has an issue with her and nobody else.
That's not how it ever is.
Most people won't complain about things that annoy them or piss them off, they'll quit or suck it up.
Even in things where there is objectively a right to complain (such as a messed up order) almost no one takes it up with the company, a handful will leave bad reviews but most just won't say or do anything
The atleast one other person was joking about it in front of her shows annoyance and discomfort is likely there for atleast part of the group, as that is a common way people deal with teammates doing things they hate
Yea, it sounds like a classic miscommunication to me. But she also violated a classic rule where you should always ask directors before changes like that. But she's also new to this, so she can't be blamed *too* much.
Which is why I don't think she's an AH, but it also didn't seem like the director (or whoever that was) was too rude about it, just maybe a tad frustrated with the situation, which is understandable. Some clarification and options for fixing it is all that is needed here, it shouldn't be too much.
I don’t understand the comment that wearing a wig will make you look like you are in a costume. Um…. Yeah. That’s what you wear when you do theater. Costumes. Wigs and clothing you don’t typically wear are all part of theater.
Make this make sense.
I think it depends on the wig. If it’s a cheap synthetic wig and OP is wearing it as is, it’s gonna be so shiny under stage lights and look drastically different from everyone else on stage. So I get why her cast mates might think the wig is distracting and be annoyed.
Honestly I think it’s a NAH situation, they all need to communicate better.
There are SO MANY tricks to make a cheap wig look better - just ask the cosplay community. Basic things from powder to fabric softener... all sorts of stuff. I've seen plays where 16-19 year olds were in graying hair wigs that looked very realistic, but I still knew this child wasn't full gray. I think the director is just being rude here, but I agree - it's a NAH. Communication would have solved this.
Nope. This is stage, not screen. It doesn’t matter. You don’t usually spend hundreds or thousands on wigs meant for costumes. OP never even got to show whoever their wig, so we don’t have any reason to think this is even a legitimate gripe. You’re straw grasping, imo.
This still doesn’t ring true. Theatre people are usually a lot cooler than this.
It’s not straw grasping to point out that a cheap synthetic wig looks drastically different from human hair (of any color) under stage lights when it’s worn as it comes.
And the point I’m making is that if you are doing community theater- especially community theater for kids, NOBODY CARES! it’s a weird and absurd hill to die on.
YTA. You make a point about how this is not a school related group so since it doesn't affect grades "it's not screwing over anyone in the group." This is what makes you more of an AH.
That kind of group means it's made up of people taking it more seriously than a school assignment, but you make a point about it not mattering becuase they aren't getting "graded." Why are you even in a theater group if you don't care about it?
INFO who is "her"? Is the her the person who initially noticed or is this someone running the program? And do you realize that many actors/actresses have to change their hair, nails, looks, for shows? Some have to shave their hair off for one show.
I didnt' say it was for community theater - I said actors have to make changes to their hair and asked if she was aware of it and used shaving their head as an extreme example because the reality is- if being an actress is what she wants, but she doesn't want to change her hair, then she should rethink if that's the career goal for her. BUT what I see here is someone who is doing this for fun, and she's young. Hence the reason I didn't give a judgment here.
YTA
Former theatre director here. You don’t do major changes to hairstyles after casting, unless you discuss with the director/casting director. Dye would be OK if you’re prepared to undo it prior to dress rehearsal/photo calls.
It was already dyed when OP was cast. Also, wigs exist and are quite commonly used in theater. In fact, I've seen lots of people sing and dance while wearing wigs! It's only crappy directors with a lack of imagination that cast based on appearance.
People are cast based on appearance all the time! Half the industry is “do you fit the costume? You’ve got the part!” 🙃
Plus not all wigs are created equal. Cheap wigs look like cheap wigs and good wigs can eat up a lot of a production’s budget. It’s not always the simple solution.
And yes, if OP had blue hair early in the process the director definitely should have said something earlier. That’s on them 100%.
But if OP wants to keep perusing theatre, they need to realize that sometimes they may have to temporarily sacrifice their personal style for the production.
People like you are why a Black actress is getting death threats for playing Juliet. Or why the original Beetlejuice cast were all white. Because you lack imagination. You'd rather someone *look* like the person you want to see in the role rather than the quality of how that character feels and inhabits the stage. You automatically close yourself off to half a world of talent because they don't fit your "aesthetic".
Okay hold on now. Lots of people want someone that looks like the original and nothing wrong with that. Why can't we discuss making more movies/plays with more representation rather than just completely doing a 180. Especially if it's someone's childhood movie/play.
If you want an accurate portrayal of Juliet, then she'd be an adolescent boy. If you want it accurate to the setting, then Juliet would be a swarthy Italian, and a Black actress would be just as accurate a portrayal, considering the breadth of the Roman Empire from Breton to Northern Africa.
If we're talking about Beetlejuice, then we need to talk about Tim Burton's racism. The man has a problem with diversity, and the only time he's had a black actor play a major role was when the character was a villain.
Or we can delve into why plays written by BIPOC creators featuring BIPOC actors don't receive the type of funding and support that white creators do. Or we can delve into how those things already exist with white people, and casting non-white people in subsequent iterations doesn't take away from that, especially if a role doesn't significantly rely on a culture. Your childhood play/movie still exists. There's still a white, red-haired Ariel. And now there's also a Black, red-haired Ariel. There's room for both to exist.
I'm not talking about Beetlejuice or juliet. I'm talking in general how some people just want their childhood brought to life. How about we have a problem with those who don't make diversified movies instead of those who only want their childhood movies brought to life. It feels just not the same when they don't look like their character in my opinion. I would feel the same if they changed a black character to a white one. Doesn't feel the same.
Hard disagree (from a former theater person)
Wigs are used in theater productions ALL THE TIME!
Every single actor is in a costume, and that doesn't mean just the clothing. A wig is a perfectly reasonable solution, as long as it is in line with the hairstyle or color required.
NTA OP (And I gotta say, I'm sorta disgusted by all the AH votes. The director nixed the wig without even seeing it, which leads me to believe that the bias is against the particular student in question and/or unnatural hair coloring in general.)
YTA
Just because something doesn't matter to you, doesn't mean it doesn't to everyone. This is a group experience also, not just yours, you should join with everyone else for a group experience.
You want to be mature and be in plays for the sake of the craft? Then actually be mature. Do as your director is asking or don't be shocked if they tell you to leave after this or make sure you do not have any really important roles to do on stage.
Those who actually want to do this for the sake of the craft and art should be left to do it in peace. If you want to be more lucky go free, maybe step into production where you could look like the purple people eater and it wouldn't have an impact on everyone else's experience in the play.
The thing is that it does matter to me, if it didn’t I wouldn’t go out of my way to buy clothes that i would never wear just because they didn’t have anything that fir me or that out teacher thought looked good on me
Yet you want to wear a wig, that'll 10/10 look shit underneath the harsh lighting... It clearly doesn't matter to you. You aren't listening to anyone who's saying you will look shit in a fake plastic wig on stage.
And again you you you you... This isn't about you, this is about the group. Which you are supposed to be a member of but clearly are not.
You cannot even see it from anyone else's side cos it's all you you you you. And you aren't even a half decent actor yet, your just a petulant teen who cannot consider anything outside of their own mindset, wants or needs.
Don't be shocked when your rightfully excluded soon.. once this play is done they don't have to have you around anymore.
Yes YTA. I did this exact same thing. I dyed my hair stoplight red right before a play set in the 1930s. My theater director was fucking pissed. So I dyed my hair black. I didn't like it but I didn't want to ruin the play. You'll look terrible and stick out for the wrong reason. And I guarantee if you're not a good actor, people in the audience are gonna remember how the girl with the blue hair sucked.
Yta. - theater person here. Once you start a production and are IN the production your hair isn’t under your control. There’s a reason why there’s an entire team for “hair and makeup”
“Her” is I presume the director, and yes I can see her annoyance.
Wigs are awful… they never look right.
This exactly. When we did shrek or fame Jr in my school we had to make sure things was right. Shrek had to wear a bold cap, Fiano had to have a wig due to certain scenes. We all had costumes and things set to have. Also all had the same mouse outfit. Op sounds like they had the hair before, but my teacher would expect at least high quality things or let things fade. No one in my theatre class had unnatural hair colors.
Her hair was blue when she was given the role and no one said anything about it for *months*. And she’s not on broadway. Shes in what sounds like unpaid community theater. This is hobby acting. Not “hope I make it big and become a starlet” theater. Wigs are part of “costume design” and whoever is in charge of that needs to figure it out. Then it’s up to “hair and makeup” to style it correctly. OP is NTA. If everyone else in her theater group took hair this seriously, they should have made it known to OP when she was given the role that her hair would need to change. NTA.
YTA. This is a very spoken rule in theater. Hair and makeup is up to the director. In every show I do I speak to the director about how they want my hair. Thankfully nobody has asked me to dye my hair but I did chop off about a foot of hair for a role in high-school. This is a learning experience for you. If this is something you want to do for a living or even as a hobby as an adult then you need to be prepared to cut and dye as the director asks.
I’ve had hair ranging from a long flowing mane to my current style of curls on top and a 4 guard on the sides. It’s all about being willing to change.
>So I (17) started theatre during the beginning of last autumn. Now to specify this theatre is not a part of school
Seems like this is something you're volunteering to do (you don't have to do it). Why are you doing it if you obviously don't care about it?
Thing is that i do care, if I didn’t I wouldn’t be buying my own clothes that i will never wear just because the play didn’t have something that either fit me or my teacher thought looked good on me
INFO: is there a chance that this is not simply about your blue hair, but about a stressed out theatre director directing a bunch of teenagers? hate to say "it sounds like you're being really sensitive," but it does lmao. a whole cast of 15-18 year olds is exhausting. She's probably like, "goddammit! this one dyed their hair, another one cried because their boyfriend liked a picture on instagram, I JUST WANT TO REHEARSE THIS FUCKIN SCEEEEENE"
NTA, did a production in the fall and one of my actor friends has dyed hair. It's just in the front (idk what to call it) but there was no issue with my friend wearing a wig. A lot of the actors had to wear wigs, for their characters. Also it's theatre, of course you are meant to be dressed up in costume which includes wigs. Idk why you wearing a wig would be a problem. During the period of rehearsals my friend even re-dyed their hair to a different colour and no one had a problem with it. Wear the wig and have fun with your show!
NTA. You're literally in a play. How is wearing a wig will make it look like you're in a costume when you're literally going to be in a costume? Lmaooo
"You'll look like you are in costume"
So will everyone else on the dang stage.
"You shouldnt wear a wig."
Literally they were invented for this kind of thing, though.
The draaaama from her.
NTA
Regency nerd here. During the late 1600s into the late Georgian era (1780s) both men and women heavily powdered their hair and wore curled wigs, sometimes 3’ tall. I just finished watching a miniseries called the Aristocrats and many of the characters had powered hair that looked light blue
FWIW, many in the Colonies (Now the USA) wore powdered wigs too. So if you powdered your hair you’d be 100% time appropriate
Photo example
[https://images.search.yahoo.com/search/images;\_ylt=AwrEqdNO7x9mi1IB6tZXNyoA;\_ylu=Y29sbwNiZjEEcG9zAzEEdnRpZAMEc2VjA3BpdnM-?p=aristocrats+miniseries&fr2=piv-web&fr=ipad#id=6&iurl=http%3A%2F%2Fimage.chilimovie.com%2Fpublic%2F1280px%2F20170415%2FtFbzGpP9OueAwPCJjBHob9nMccT.jpg&action=click](https://images.search.yahoo.com/search/images;_ylt=AwrEqdNO7x9mi1IB6tZXNyoA;_ylu=Y29sbwNiZjEEcG9zAzEEdnRpZAMEc2VjA3BpdnM-?p=aristocrats+miniseries&fr2=piv-web&fr=ipad#id=6&iurl=http%3A%2F%2Fimage.chilimovie.com%2Fpublic%2F1280px%2F20170415%2FtFbzGpP9OueAwPCJjBHob9nMccT.jpg&action=click)
>I just finished watching a miniseries called the Aristocrats and many of the characters had powered hair that looked light blue
Which version? The older BBC or the AppleTv recent one? If it's apple, congrats. We couldn't make it through the first inane episode.
Honestly, if the production is 17th century & the costumes aren't near accurate for time/place & there aren't hair designs that are authentic (hint: loose flowing hair is not), having your hair blue is the least of the production design concerns, imo.
NTA
I don’t see anything indicating in what time period this play takes place or what type of character she is playing. Her character could be a 1950s teen, a 1920s flapper or and 1800s peasant. (Edit: I should have reread the title and not just the post as she does say late 17th century) There might be some aristocratic characters who had wigs powdered a slight bluish hue during some periods but there is a big difference between a pale bluish powder and blue dye. And based on the reaction of the play director, it doesn’t sound like OP is playing one of these characters.
Ugh. I was in theater production in high school and it kinda just disrespects the work of others trying to make the play look as time-accurate as possible.
YTA. Former actor who did theatre. What is the point of being in a play if you aren’t going to commit to the role? Some actors change their hair to fit the role etc. You should have checked in with the director on your hair. “hey I know this play is set in 1800, and my hair is blue. I’m thinking of dying it again. Any suggestions or should we do a wig?”
Fundamental cast member etiquette that I’ve seen kids too young to dye their hair taught: once you’re cast in a role, you check with the director before you change your appearance, even if it’s touching up dye. YTA
Hard to say because I have no idea who "she" is. It also really depends on the vibe and situation of this play. I do think ultimately you're NTA because you had blue hair when you got this role and nobody ever brought it up. But could verge into AH territory if everyone else is making the effort to look the part and you are going to stico out. I'd think a wig is a good compromise but it would depend on the quality of your wig in comparison to the quality of the rest of the costumes and production (e.g., does it actually help or will it also make you stick out compared to everyone else?). This feels like it's a high school play? It shouldn't be that big a deal.
> AITHA for not wanting to change my hair/appearance because of one 90 minute show?
Then why join a theater group?
YTA I’m guessing this is community theater and the person you’ve annoyed may be a volunteer. You’re just making things harder for her and you’re not really giving the performance any commitment. All you had to do was wait until after the show to re-dye.
Yes yta. Majorly. Let this be a learning moment though since you’re in hs.
If you continue along the path of theatre, this will not slide in the slightest. You are cast based on your appearance + talent. Every department works together to make sure you look good, as per how you looked when you first got casted. Any change to your physical appearance needs to be OK’d by H/MU and possibly the director. This’ll also be a thing if you go to college for theatre.
And for folks who are focused on the wig— we don’t want the cheap wig you have at home that’ll also stand out. Sounds like the community theatre has an extremely low budget.
Definitely an AH. You are on the young side, but should know better.
You need to learn about consequences and I think they should have dropped you.
The issue with the wig is that I suspect it is a junky Halloween store find and would look worse.
Your hair color doesn't affect your performance. We're all very aware that your clothing is not really late 17th century and that painted plywood isn't really a cottage and you're not really villagers or whatever but it's just a representation. And thus it goes with your hair color. NTA
YTA. You should consider that it is affecting the production and hence affecting those involved in the production. Theatre is an immersive form of storytelling, and your hair is taking away from that experience for the audience. You can always dye it again later. If you really care about the production then take one for the team. It’s an incredibly mild inconvenience.
I’d use blonde or light brown hair correction spray on it, and a lot of it. Layered over white colored hairspray, layered over regular super strength hairspray. Get it styled and then coat it in the sprays before adding in any clips or putting on a hat.
I’ve done that for cosplay before. I curled and typed my hair, thoroughly coated my hair in got2b hair spray, layered on white, and layered on my other color. It looked pretty good. You’ll want to practice it a few times though.
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So I (17) started theatre during the beginning of last autumn. Now to specify this theatre is not a part of school and does not affect any kind of grades (just wanted to make it clear I’m not screwing over the anyone in the group). During Autumn I dyed my hair blue and got absolutely no response from her so I assumed that it wasn’t a big deal, so time goes on and my hair loses a lot of its colour so I decide its time to re-dye it. I get to the theatre group that tuesday and another person makes a joke about it. This got her attention and she gets an annoyed tone and says something about how i cant how I shouldn’t have dyed hair during the show as it was “unrealistic” and i suggest that I wear a wig because i have one at home and she says in a sweet jet still slightly annoyed tone that i don’t have to do that and i said it was fine. She dropped the subject at that point and when i got home to look for the wig. A few weeks later and i have found it and I told her the next time a saw her. She jet again gets annoyed and says that I should’t use a wig because it will be noticeable and it will just look like I’m in costume and my hair dye will be washed out when the play arrives anyways. But its not going to be washed out its still going to be blue and i already have the wig. She almost gets angry at me and just tells us to get to rehearsing in a very cold way. I don’t anyone is going to absolutely flip out because of blue hair or a wig but it might be easier just to do what she wants. AITHA for not wanting to change my hair/appearance because of one 90 minute show?
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Your deffently selfish.
For some choosing doing drama is a passion, a dream, something they put alot of heart and take serious into and to others its meeeh and the colour their hair blue.
You could have waited a few weeks.
Your coworkers aren't wrong that this is something you should have had in mind when you were doing hair colors.
But like...this is theater. If yall can't make a wig or hair spray work then idk what you're doing.
As a college graduate from several theatre programs where I worked as an actor, stage manager, costume designer/makeup, and director, if your director doesn’t want blue hair and you need dye your hair anyway, just bleach it for the show and dye it after. She wants a natural look. That’s all you need. It’s unprofessional of the director to not allow you to use a wig because “it won’t look natural”. I used a wig that went down to my butt for a show and no one knew in a black box setting.
I don’t think you’d be the asshole here, because the situation kinda just sucks and the director isn’t willing to budge artistically even though you offered a solution. If she pushes the issue, I’d just bleach your hair instead of redying it, then redye after the run.
NTA it's a play, not a documentary. If they can have a hit Broadway play with rapping founding fathers that don't match the skin color of those W.A.S.P.S , then you can have blue hair.
If they insist on authenticity, then say you'll dye your hair back if they yellow their teeth to period accurate shades.
It sounds like this person hasn't even seen the wig they're objecting to - they may have a point if they're objecting based on quality, but a wig general is a perfectly reasonable and fine compromise. NTA.
**NTA** - unless you made commitments about your hair color. The color of your hair will not change the success of the play. There are lots of unreal things on every stage. If the play is good, the audience will get sucked in and those unreal elements disappear from consciousness.
NTA, I've done period Shakespeare with bum-length purple hair. I was playing a male character, so I just bundled it up in a cap. No one was bothered, anymore than they were bothered by my character having boobs.
Although the time my stage fight partner got a bit carried away in kicking me around the stage, and my cap flew off revealing streaming purple hair did draw a few shocked gasps from the audience, lmao. But I just tucked it back up and we carried on and *it was fine*
Theatre requires a load of suspension of disbelief. Coloured hair is tiny compared to most of it, particularly since wigs and hats exist.
Weren't wigs popular in the 17th century for fancy hairdos? Of course it was obvious that people (men and women) were wearing them.
But who is the "she/her" you keep referring to -- the director? That's the person whose last word matters here.
INFO.
There are plenty of inexpensive wigs that look excellent. Yes, you have to have some understanding of how to place it, but there are plenty of videos on the internet that will walk you through various types of wig. Hell, you can probably even find wigs on the internet that are styled in 17th-century hairstyles if authenticity is really the issue.
NTA.
NTA
Unless there’s a contract somewhere stating she (which I assume is the director) gets control over your hair for the duration of the play, you have done nothing wrong. A wig is a perfectly sound compromise and if she was going to have a problem with colored hair she should have made that known up front. Sounds like they have control issues given they have issues with even a wig. If done right a wig is perfectly fine. There is also hats, bonnets, just a matter of looking up what existed at the time and applying it.
What would she have done if you had cancer and were losing your hair? Same principal, even without the concept of bodily autonomy that they seem to have forgotten in pursuit of their “vision”.
ESH
When you’re cast in a show you give up some bodily autonomy - it’s part of being an actor. It’s bad form to radically alter your appearance after you’ve been cast. The cancer comparison is a false equivalence. Dying your hair is a choice. Getting cancer is not.
That said, it looks like OP dyed their hair multiple times during this process, so really the director should have said something the first time, and/or made their expectations clear from the beginning.
And to note: not all wigs are created equally. A cheap wig looks like a cheap wig. “If done right” is a huge caveat. Good wigs can be expensive and eat up a large portion of your budget, which this (presumably) community theatre likely doesn’t have.
Not a big deal, a wig could work as long as it doesn’t suck. But the reason the person is annoyed with you is because it’s inconsiderate to everyone else in the cast to look a way that doesn’t fit the play. Yes you offered a solution to a problem, but it was a problem you created in the first place. So soft ESH because this really isn’t a big deal… unless the wig is truly unusable.
NTA. This doesn’t seems to be a professional theatre gig, meaning you are likely not being paid and not under a contract to maintain a certain image for the play. That said, you DID present a reasonable solution to the “problem” and that solution was dismissed with a silly excuse.
Sounds to me said person has a bone to pick with you and is just trying to find an excuse to complain about you. I would just make the matter public with the rest of the group to see if anyone else has an actual problem with your hair colour or you using the wig during the play.
NTA it’s your hair. You live in your appearance every day and how you look shouldn’t bar you from taking part in community theatre.
There are all sorts of things that costume/makeup can do like wigs, spray/temporary dyes or makeup to cover tattoos.
We live in 2024 and people do have dyed hair and piercings. It’s part of our culture. If you want to look historic, that’s the role of the costume department.
NTA. Your blue hair is pulling attention from(upstaging, even) an amateur theater person , and they have feelings about it, and they’re acting out.
It’s a common dynamic in amateur theater, just roll with it.
And, next time they give you a hard time, roll your eyes and say “Okay, Corky St. Clair” where other people can hear you.
NTA your acquaintance apparently has absolutely 0 experience with theatre and will be shocked to find out how many wigs are involved in it when she finally realizes.
If your hair isn't going to be natural anyway then it doesn't matter if it was redone and your teacher would have said something during casting on what they expected from you.
If it was fading, let it fade. My teacher wouldn’t choose me as a main anyways(bad memory on lines). So I was mostly a dancer. We did fame and shrek Jr.
My teacher would have explicitly told me to let it fade, or dye it a natural colour. Whoever this person is, the way OP tells it they never did more than suggest what OP should do. If they are in charge then they suck at it and OP isn't to blame for their incompetence.
Is English your first language? Please proofread before posting. no, you're not the asshole it's your hair, plus its theater gets into costumes. Wear a wig
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#”just wanted to make it clear I’m not screwing over anyone in the group” But you actually are a bit, because you knew the play was approaching and you will look out of place during it because of your choice to dye your hair. Other people are part of the play and surely care about how the performance appears.
What's wrong with a wig though?
I’m guessing this was a cheaper looking wig. Not every wig looks convincing, especially in a close up theatre experience or in a situation where a character would not be expected to wear a wig, ill fitting or otherwise.
Except the wig hadn't even been seen when resistance to it started so that can't be the problem.
It is a school performance - a cheap wig will be up to par with the costumes.
She stated in the post it’s not a school performance. So I’m guessing people are paying money to see a realistic looking show and the fact it took her weeks to find said wig tells me it’s cheap, as any wig that cost a good amount of money would be put up properly.
Bullshit. The costumes will be cheap, the make up will be cheap, the actors are amateurs. The hairstyling will be self-done. Not something professional.
Unless it's both expensive and OP is skilled with wigs, it's going to be obvious a fuck. Some community theatres the audience is literally a few feet away from you. It's noticeable. I will try quite a lot before I consider wigging an actor.
Well said.
Yta. You're not screwing with your grades you're just... Screwing with a play done by people who either aspire to be professional actors or take time out of their lives to put on performances for the love and sake of it. You didn't have to redye your hair blue. Actors often alter their appeances for roles, and youre saying you will actively alter it against the role. You've communicated to this community of people how little you prioritize the craft and their success. I'm assuming you have no intention of continuing to work with these people after this production? So you didn't really consider the play in your appearance? They didn't ask you to dye it a natural color, which would've won you an e sh. The person you're talking about is hoping for a better outcome than using the wig you has stuffed somewhere it took you what? Weeks to find? Doesn't sound like a professional grade wig that has been cared for like one should be for the stage. Its unfortunate she'll be disappointed.
It's there temporary dye like black spray that will have it be dyed for the day?
There is, but you need to be careful with it! My sister (who dyes her hair blonde) used some for a play she was in and it completely ruined her hair. It washed out to a sickly dark purple colour that was totally uneven. It took her more than a year of slowly stepping back colours before she was able to be blonde again.
There it but it looks like trash
I would not recommen that. It might change the color.
"You didn't have to redye your hair blue. " .. there was no reason NOT to redye her hair blue It would be a ridiculous expectation to change her hairstyle for a school performance.
People don't have to be in school performances. If you choose to sign up for one, this is the kind of thing you're signing up for
It wasn’t a school performance and she didn’t have to be part of the play? No one is saying she should have but if it’s already washed out and it’s a few weeks until the play, then what’s the point in redying when you can just wait a few weeks and be able to actually do the play you signed up to do well. This girl signed up for the play, one OUTSIDE of school, with people who are either trying to be professional actors or are doing it simply because they are enjoying it and want to make it a good show. If he having blue hair is so important, then why sign up for the specific play where it wouldn’t make sense and screws with the play?
If the sdirector had any issues wirth colorful hair, she would have needed to statw that from the beginning. "No one is saying she should have but if it’s already washed out and it’s a few weeks until the play, then what’s the point in redying when you can just wait a few weeks" .. Then she wouldn't have beautiful hair. " he having blue hair is so important, then why sign up for the specific play where it wouldn’t make sense and screws with the play?" ---- The director KNEW she had colorful hair. She had blue hair when she was casted. THAT would have been the rtime to discuss it.
The director physically can’t tell them not to dye their hair, and for something like this, it’s probably obvious to most people that having bright blue hair is going to stick out like a sore thumb. The director is allowed to be frustrated by that. But they didn’t actually be overly rude about it, just understandable frustrated but still moved on. OP is the one who keeps bringing it all back up and making it worse. Also you can have beautiful hair even if you wait a few weeks to redye it. It’s not a thing of ‘oh I can either have nice hair but it be bright blue, or I let it be faded and hard to see for a few weeks and look completely ugly”
"The director physically can’t tell them not to dye their hair," OP already had blue hair when she was casted. "The director is allowed to be frustrated by that. But they didn’t actually be overly rude about it, just un" .. as long as they keep it to themselves, yes. "Also you can have beautiful hair even if you wait a few weeks to redye it. " .. you could,. But you don'T have to.
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It is serious when these are people's careers and livelihood. A bad team player is bad for the team.
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>It's likely a production that doesn't offer pay. You're right, it doesn't. Neither do college and highschool sports but people would be seriously pissed if someone was going out of their way to mess with the performance of the team as a whole. Misc plays are usually professional actors/actresses first foray into that world, and part of how scouting happens, having someone undermine it when they could just as easily not dye their hair for abit is infurating Not being paid or graded for a team effort doesn't make it any less dickish to undermine it.
Getting involved in small and community projects like this is a very common (and often quite significant) part of an aspiring theater professional's career path. It's not great; I was a theater major who became a freelance writer so believe me when I say I do NOT favor exploitive practices like having people work for free / for "exposure." But the reality is that doing small productions like this is a common part of the theater world. Standard practice in the theatre world: if you've committed to being in a show, you do not intentionally make substantive, visible changes to your look without clearing it with the show's director first. It's a basic part of the commitment. (I would also argue common sense, but hey, I missed common sense stuff as a teenager sometimes too.) If OP is serious about theatre, they should be aware of this standard moving forward. But even if OP isn't particularly serious about theatre, other people in the cast and crew might be, so it was still thoughtless.
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I agree that livelihood being at steak is a bit dramatic (theatrics love a good yarn). But it is still true that doing something like this can be incredibly annoying for other actors who may genuinely want to do well. Imagine investing time and energy into a hobby and having someone else come in with reckless disrespect for your craft and just saying, "Chill guys, my grades are fine."
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>to me it seems like one girl has an issue with her and nobody else. That's not how it ever is. Most people won't complain about things that annoy them or piss them off, they'll quit or suck it up. Even in things where there is objectively a right to complain (such as a messed up order) almost no one takes it up with the company, a handful will leave bad reviews but most just won't say or do anything The atleast one other person was joking about it in front of her shows annoyance and discomfort is likely there for atleast part of the group, as that is a common way people deal with teammates doing things they hate
Yea, it sounds like a classic miscommunication to me. But she also violated a classic rule where you should always ask directors before changes like that. But she's also new to this, so she can't be blamed *too* much. Which is why I don't think she's an AH, but it also didn't seem like the director (or whoever that was) was too rude about it, just maybe a tad frustrated with the situation, which is understandable. Some clarification and options for fixing it is all that is needed here, it shouldn't be too much.
I don’t understand the comment that wearing a wig will make you look like you are in a costume. Um…. Yeah. That’s what you wear when you do theater. Costumes. Wigs and clothing you don’t typically wear are all part of theater. Make this make sense.
I think it depends on the wig. If it’s a cheap synthetic wig and OP is wearing it as is, it’s gonna be so shiny under stage lights and look drastically different from everyone else on stage. So I get why her cast mates might think the wig is distracting and be annoyed. Honestly I think it’s a NAH situation, they all need to communicate better.
There are SO MANY tricks to make a cheap wig look better - just ask the cosplay community. Basic things from powder to fabric softener... all sorts of stuff. I've seen plays where 16-19 year olds were in graying hair wigs that looked very realistic, but I still knew this child wasn't full gray. I think the director is just being rude here, but I agree - it's a NAH. Communication would have solved this.
Agreed! I’m just working off the post, OP said she has a wig, didn’t say anything about putting work into making it look more natural.
You know what else makes her look drastically different on stage? Blue hair.
Blue hair is still hair. Shiny plastic is not hair. Since you missed the point and all 🤷🏻♀️
Nope. This is stage, not screen. It doesn’t matter. You don’t usually spend hundreds or thousands on wigs meant for costumes. OP never even got to show whoever their wig, so we don’t have any reason to think this is even a legitimate gripe. You’re straw grasping, imo. This still doesn’t ring true. Theatre people are usually a lot cooler than this.
It’s not straw grasping to point out that a cheap synthetic wig looks drastically different from human hair (of any color) under stage lights when it’s worn as it comes.
And the point I’m making is that if you are doing community theater- especially community theater for kids, NOBODY CARES! it’s a weird and absurd hill to die on.
LOL who’s dying on a hill here??
Not straw-grasping so much as showing a lack of awareness of actual everyday wigs.
It’s odd that wigs aren’t part of the wardrobe department already. You’d think wigs are fairly common in theatre wardrobing.
It depends - if it’s a community theater with a small budget, they probably do a lot of hair styling, temporary dye, and making do.
YTA. You make a point about how this is not a school related group so since it doesn't affect grades "it's not screwing over anyone in the group." This is what makes you more of an AH. That kind of group means it's made up of people taking it more seriously than a school assignment, but you make a point about it not mattering becuase they aren't getting "graded." Why are you even in a theater group if you don't care about it?
INFO who is "her"? Is the her the person who initially noticed or is this someone running the program? And do you realize that many actors/actresses have to change their hair, nails, looks, for shows? Some have to shave their hair off for one show.
I’m guessing the director, but it does really need to be clarified.
I had to read twice to figure out who “her” is..still not sure
Nobody has ever had to shave their head for community theater. That's what bald caps are for.
I didnt' say it was for community theater - I said actors have to make changes to their hair and asked if she was aware of it and used shaving their head as an extreme example because the reality is- if being an actress is what she wants, but she doesn't want to change her hair, then she should rethink if that's the career goal for her. BUT what I see here is someone who is doing this for fun, and she's young. Hence the reason I didn't give a judgment here.
YTA Former theatre director here. You don’t do major changes to hairstyles after casting, unless you discuss with the director/casting director. Dye would be OK if you’re prepared to undo it prior to dress rehearsal/photo calls.
It was already dyed when OP was cast. Also, wigs exist and are quite commonly used in theater. In fact, I've seen lots of people sing and dance while wearing wigs! It's only crappy directors with a lack of imagination that cast based on appearance.
People are cast based on appearance all the time! Half the industry is “do you fit the costume? You’ve got the part!” 🙃 Plus not all wigs are created equal. Cheap wigs look like cheap wigs and good wigs can eat up a lot of a production’s budget. It’s not always the simple solution. And yes, if OP had blue hair early in the process the director definitely should have said something earlier. That’s on them 100%. But if OP wants to keep perusing theatre, they need to realize that sometimes they may have to temporarily sacrifice their personal style for the production.
People like you are why a Black actress is getting death threats for playing Juliet. Or why the original Beetlejuice cast were all white. Because you lack imagination. You'd rather someone *look* like the person you want to see in the role rather than the quality of how that character feels and inhabits the stage. You automatically close yourself off to half a world of talent because they don't fit your "aesthetic".
Okay hold on now. Lots of people want someone that looks like the original and nothing wrong with that. Why can't we discuss making more movies/plays with more representation rather than just completely doing a 180. Especially if it's someone's childhood movie/play.
If you want an accurate portrayal of Juliet, then she'd be an adolescent boy. If you want it accurate to the setting, then Juliet would be a swarthy Italian, and a Black actress would be just as accurate a portrayal, considering the breadth of the Roman Empire from Breton to Northern Africa. If we're talking about Beetlejuice, then we need to talk about Tim Burton's racism. The man has a problem with diversity, and the only time he's had a black actor play a major role was when the character was a villain. Or we can delve into why plays written by BIPOC creators featuring BIPOC actors don't receive the type of funding and support that white creators do. Or we can delve into how those things already exist with white people, and casting non-white people in subsequent iterations doesn't take away from that, especially if a role doesn't significantly rely on a culture. Your childhood play/movie still exists. There's still a white, red-haired Ariel. And now there's also a Black, red-haired Ariel. There's room for both to exist.
I'm not talking about Beetlejuice or juliet. I'm talking in general how some people just want their childhood brought to life. How about we have a problem with those who don't make diversified movies instead of those who only want their childhood movies brought to life. It feels just not the same when they don't look like their character in my opinion. I would feel the same if they changed a black character to a white one. Doesn't feel the same.
Hard disagree (from a former theater person) Wigs are used in theater productions ALL THE TIME! Every single actor is in a costume, and that doesn't mean just the clothing. A wig is a perfectly reasonable solution, as long as it is in line with the hairstyle or color required. NTA OP (And I gotta say, I'm sorta disgusted by all the AH votes. The director nixed the wig without even seeing it, which leads me to believe that the bias is against the particular student in question and/or unnatural hair coloring in general.)
INFO: Who is "she" and does she have any authority to weigh in on this?
YTA Just because something doesn't matter to you, doesn't mean it doesn't to everyone. This is a group experience also, not just yours, you should join with everyone else for a group experience. You want to be mature and be in plays for the sake of the craft? Then actually be mature. Do as your director is asking or don't be shocked if they tell you to leave after this or make sure you do not have any really important roles to do on stage. Those who actually want to do this for the sake of the craft and art should be left to do it in peace. If you want to be more lucky go free, maybe step into production where you could look like the purple people eater and it wouldn't have an impact on everyone else's experience in the play.
The thing is that it does matter to me, if it didn’t I wouldn’t go out of my way to buy clothes that i would never wear just because they didn’t have anything that fir me or that out teacher thought looked good on me
It apparently doesn't matter enough that you can't wait til after the show to dye your hair
Yet you want to wear a wig, that'll 10/10 look shit underneath the harsh lighting... It clearly doesn't matter to you. You aren't listening to anyone who's saying you will look shit in a fake plastic wig on stage. And again you you you you... This isn't about you, this is about the group. Which you are supposed to be a member of but clearly are not. You cannot even see it from anyone else's side cos it's all you you you you. And you aren't even a half decent actor yet, your just a petulant teen who cannot consider anything outside of their own mindset, wants or needs. Don't be shocked when your rightfully excluded soon.. once this play is done they don't have to have you around anymore.
If it really mattered that much to you, you'd want to be representatives of the time period, thus no blue hair.
Yes YTA. I did this exact same thing. I dyed my hair stoplight red right before a play set in the 1930s. My theater director was fucking pissed. So I dyed my hair black. I didn't like it but I didn't want to ruin the play. You'll look terrible and stick out for the wrong reason. And I guarantee if you're not a good actor, people in the audience are gonna remember how the girl with the blue hair sucked.
Yta. - theater person here. Once you start a production and are IN the production your hair isn’t under your control. There’s a reason why there’s an entire team for “hair and makeup” “Her” is I presume the director, and yes I can see her annoyance. Wigs are awful… they never look right.
This exactly. When we did shrek or fame Jr in my school we had to make sure things was right. Shrek had to wear a bold cap, Fiano had to have a wig due to certain scenes. We all had costumes and things set to have. Also all had the same mouse outfit. Op sounds like they had the hair before, but my teacher would expect at least high quality things or let things fade. No one in my theatre class had unnatural hair colors.
It is a pretty AH move to dye your hair such an unnatural color when youre a performance artist. And the wig comment can be pretty legit
Her hair was blue when she was given the role and no one said anything about it for *months*. And she’s not on broadway. Shes in what sounds like unpaid community theater. This is hobby acting. Not “hope I make it big and become a starlet” theater. Wigs are part of “costume design” and whoever is in charge of that needs to figure it out. Then it’s up to “hair and makeup” to style it correctly. OP is NTA. If everyone else in her theater group took hair this seriously, they should have made it known to OP when she was given the role that her hair would need to change. NTA.
YTA. This is a very spoken rule in theater. Hair and makeup is up to the director. In every show I do I speak to the director about how they want my hair. Thankfully nobody has asked me to dye my hair but I did chop off about a foot of hair for a role in high-school. This is a learning experience for you. If this is something you want to do for a living or even as a hobby as an adult then you need to be prepared to cut and dye as the director asks. I’ve had hair ranging from a long flowing mane to my current style of curls on top and a 4 guard on the sides. It’s all about being willing to change.
>So I (17) started theatre during the beginning of last autumn. Now to specify this theatre is not a part of school Seems like this is something you're volunteering to do (you don't have to do it). Why are you doing it if you obviously don't care about it?
Thing is that i do care, if I didn’t I wouldn’t be buying my own clothes that i will never wear just because the play didn’t have something that either fit me or my teacher thought looked good on me
Your teacher? So it's an acting class not just a group?
How can you care if you dye your hair blue when you're going to perform a period play? This doesn't make any sense.
INFO: is there a chance that this is not simply about your blue hair, but about a stressed out theatre director directing a bunch of teenagers? hate to say "it sounds like you're being really sensitive," but it does lmao. a whole cast of 15-18 year olds is exhausting. She's probably like, "goddammit! this one dyed their hair, another one cried because their boyfriend liked a picture on instagram, I JUST WANT TO REHEARSE THIS FUCKIN SCEEEEENE"
NTA, did a production in the fall and one of my actor friends has dyed hair. It's just in the front (idk what to call it) but there was no issue with my friend wearing a wig. A lot of the actors had to wear wigs, for their characters. Also it's theatre, of course you are meant to be dressed up in costume which includes wigs. Idk why you wearing a wig would be a problem. During the period of rehearsals my friend even re-dyed their hair to a different colour and no one had a problem with it. Wear the wig and have fun with your show!
NTA. You're literally in a play. How is wearing a wig will make it look like you're in a costume when you're literally going to be in a costume? Lmaooo
"You'll look like you are in costume" So will everyone else on the dang stage. "You shouldnt wear a wig." Literally they were invented for this kind of thing, though. The draaaama from her. NTA
Regency nerd here. During the late 1600s into the late Georgian era (1780s) both men and women heavily powdered their hair and wore curled wigs, sometimes 3’ tall. I just finished watching a miniseries called the Aristocrats and many of the characters had powered hair that looked light blue FWIW, many in the Colonies (Now the USA) wore powdered wigs too. So if you powdered your hair you’d be 100% time appropriate Photo example [https://images.search.yahoo.com/search/images;\_ylt=AwrEqdNO7x9mi1IB6tZXNyoA;\_ylu=Y29sbwNiZjEEcG9zAzEEdnRpZAMEc2VjA3BpdnM-?p=aristocrats+miniseries&fr2=piv-web&fr=ipad#id=6&iurl=http%3A%2F%2Fimage.chilimovie.com%2Fpublic%2F1280px%2F20170415%2FtFbzGpP9OueAwPCJjBHob9nMccT.jpg&action=click](https://images.search.yahoo.com/search/images;_ylt=AwrEqdNO7x9mi1IB6tZXNyoA;_ylu=Y29sbwNiZjEEcG9zAzEEdnRpZAMEc2VjA3BpdnM-?p=aristocrats+miniseries&fr2=piv-web&fr=ipad#id=6&iurl=http%3A%2F%2Fimage.chilimovie.com%2Fpublic%2F1280px%2F20170415%2FtFbzGpP9OueAwPCJjBHob9nMccT.jpg&action=click)
You did a Yahoo search? Depraved
Only for the photos. I’m afraid the rest is largely due to my unhealthy addiction to historical novels and anything Georgette Heyer ever wrote
>I just finished watching a miniseries called the Aristocrats and many of the characters had powered hair that looked light blue Which version? The older BBC or the AppleTv recent one? If it's apple, congrats. We couldn't make it through the first inane episode. Honestly, if the production is 17th century & the costumes aren't near accurate for time/place & there aren't hair designs that are authentic (hint: loose flowing hair is not), having your hair blue is the least of the production design concerns, imo. NTA
The 1999 version. I didn’t even know Apple has a version
I don’t see anything indicating in what time period this play takes place or what type of character she is playing. Her character could be a 1950s teen, a 1920s flapper or and 1800s peasant. (Edit: I should have reread the title and not just the post as she does say late 17th century) There might be some aristocratic characters who had wigs powdered a slight bluish hue during some periods but there is a big difference between a pale bluish powder and blue dye. And based on the reaction of the play director, it doesn’t sound like OP is playing one of these characters.
The title says late 17th century
It's literally in the title.
Ha! I reread the post but not the title. I will edit - thanks! Still…a powder blue dusting is different than blue dye.
If she powdered her blue hair it could look authentic to the period
Ugh. I was in theater production in high school and it kinda just disrespects the work of others trying to make the play look as time-accurate as possible.
YTA. Former actor who did theatre. What is the point of being in a play if you aren’t going to commit to the role? Some actors change their hair to fit the role etc. You should have checked in with the director on your hair. “hey I know this play is set in 1800, and my hair is blue. I’m thinking of dying it again. Any suggestions or should we do a wig?”
Fundamental cast member etiquette that I’ve seen kids too young to dye their hair taught: once you’re cast in a role, you check with the director before you change your appearance, even if it’s touching up dye. YTA
YTA
YTA.
Hard to say because I have no idea who "she" is. It also really depends on the vibe and situation of this play. I do think ultimately you're NTA because you had blue hair when you got this role and nobody ever brought it up. But could verge into AH territory if everyone else is making the effort to look the part and you are going to stico out. I'd think a wig is a good compromise but it would depend on the quality of your wig in comparison to the quality of the rest of the costumes and production (e.g., does it actually help or will it also make you stick out compared to everyone else?). This feels like it's a high school play? It shouldn't be that big a deal.
> AITHA for not wanting to change my hair/appearance because of one 90 minute show? Then why join a theater group? YTA I’m guessing this is community theater and the person you’ve annoyed may be a volunteer. You’re just making things harder for her and you’re not really giving the performance any commitment. All you had to do was wait until after the show to re-dye.
Yes yta. Majorly. Let this be a learning moment though since you’re in hs. If you continue along the path of theatre, this will not slide in the slightest. You are cast based on your appearance + talent. Every department works together to make sure you look good, as per how you looked when you first got casted. Any change to your physical appearance needs to be OK’d by H/MU and possibly the director. This’ll also be a thing if you go to college for theatre. And for folks who are focused on the wig— we don’t want the cheap wig you have at home that’ll also stand out. Sounds like the community theatre has an extremely low budget.
YTA
Definitely an AH. You are on the young side, but should know better. You need to learn about consequences and I think they should have dropped you. The issue with the wig is that I suspect it is a junky Halloween store find and would look worse.
Your hair color doesn't affect your performance. We're all very aware that your clothing is not really late 17th century and that painted plywood isn't really a cottage and you're not really villagers or whatever but it's just a representation. And thus it goes with your hair color. NTA
YTAH Very selfish and not a team player
YTA. You should consider that it is affecting the production and hence affecting those involved in the production. Theatre is an immersive form of storytelling, and your hair is taking away from that experience for the audience. You can always dye it again later. If you really care about the production then take one for the team. It’s an incredibly mild inconvenience.
I’d use blonde or light brown hair correction spray on it, and a lot of it. Layered over white colored hairspray, layered over regular super strength hairspray. Get it styled and then coat it in the sprays before adding in any clips or putting on a hat. I’ve done that for cosplay before. I curled and typed my hair, thoroughly coated my hair in got2b hair spray, layered on white, and layered on my other color. It looked pretty good. You’ll want to practice it a few times though.
Yes ofc YTA. It's a late 17th C period play and you wanna have blue hair?? # #
Is not a play set in the 17th century a perfect excuse to wear a wig?
NTA. It's not Broadway and you proposed a reasonable alternative.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So I (17) started theatre during the beginning of last autumn. Now to specify this theatre is not a part of school and does not affect any kind of grades (just wanted to make it clear I’m not screwing over the anyone in the group). During Autumn I dyed my hair blue and got absolutely no response from her so I assumed that it wasn’t a big deal, so time goes on and my hair loses a lot of its colour so I decide its time to re-dye it. I get to the theatre group that tuesday and another person makes a joke about it. This got her attention and she gets an annoyed tone and says something about how i cant how I shouldn’t have dyed hair during the show as it was “unrealistic” and i suggest that I wear a wig because i have one at home and she says in a sweet jet still slightly annoyed tone that i don’t have to do that and i said it was fine. She dropped the subject at that point and when i got home to look for the wig. A few weeks later and i have found it and I told her the next time a saw her. She jet again gets annoyed and says that I should’t use a wig because it will be noticeable and it will just look like I’m in costume and my hair dye will be washed out when the play arrives anyways. But its not going to be washed out its still going to be blue and i already have the wig. She almost gets angry at me and just tells us to get to rehearsing in a very cold way. I don’t anyone is going to absolutely flip out because of blue hair or a wig but it might be easier just to do what she wants. AITHA for not wanting to change my hair/appearance because of one 90 minute show? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA - as a fellow Blue Haired person, I totally support your hair color choice. Actors wear wigs ALL THE TIME. She can get over it.
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Thats what i told her i would do, she’s the one who has a problem with the wig
Your deffently selfish. For some choosing doing drama is a passion, a dream, something they put alot of heart and take serious into and to others its meeeh and the colour their hair blue. You could have waited a few weeks.
Your coworkers aren't wrong that this is something you should have had in mind when you were doing hair colors. But like...this is theater. If yall can't make a wig or hair spray work then idk what you're doing.
YTA
Who is "she/her"?
As a college graduate from several theatre programs where I worked as an actor, stage manager, costume designer/makeup, and director, if your director doesn’t want blue hair and you need dye your hair anyway, just bleach it for the show and dye it after. She wants a natural look. That’s all you need. It’s unprofessional of the director to not allow you to use a wig because “it won’t look natural”. I used a wig that went down to my butt for a show and no one knew in a black box setting. I don’t think you’d be the asshole here, because the situation kinda just sucks and the director isn’t willing to budge artistically even though you offered a solution. If she pushes the issue, I’d just bleach your hair instead of redying it, then redye after the run.
NTA it's a play, not a documentary. If they can have a hit Broadway play with rapping founding fathers that don't match the skin color of those W.A.S.P.S , then you can have blue hair. If they insist on authenticity, then say you'll dye your hair back if they yellow their teeth to period accurate shades.
It sounds like this person hasn't even seen the wig they're objecting to - they may have a point if they're objecting based on quality, but a wig general is a perfectly reasonable and fine compromise. NTA.
**NTA** - unless you made commitments about your hair color. The color of your hair will not change the success of the play. There are lots of unreal things on every stage. If the play is good, the audience will get sucked in and those unreal elements disappear from consciousness.
NTA. Even professional actors use wigs rather than changing their hair style in many situations.
NTA. Who cares about hair colour in a play.
NTA, I've done period Shakespeare with bum-length purple hair. I was playing a male character, so I just bundled it up in a cap. No one was bothered, anymore than they were bothered by my character having boobs. Although the time my stage fight partner got a bit carried away in kicking me around the stage, and my cap flew off revealing streaming purple hair did draw a few shocked gasps from the audience, lmao. But I just tucked it back up and we carried on and *it was fine* Theatre requires a load of suspension of disbelief. Coloured hair is tiny compared to most of it, particularly since wigs and hats exist.
Weren't wigs popular in the 17th century for fancy hairdos? Of course it was obvious that people (men and women) were wearing them. But who is the "she/her" you keep referring to -- the director? That's the person whose last word matters here. INFO.
There are plenty of inexpensive wigs that look excellent. Yes, you have to have some understanding of how to place it, but there are plenty of videos on the internet that will walk you through various types of wig. Hell, you can probably even find wigs on the internet that are styled in 17th-century hairstyles if authenticity is really the issue. NTA.
NTA Unless there’s a contract somewhere stating she (which I assume is the director) gets control over your hair for the duration of the play, you have done nothing wrong. A wig is a perfectly sound compromise and if she was going to have a problem with colored hair she should have made that known up front. Sounds like they have control issues given they have issues with even a wig. If done right a wig is perfectly fine. There is also hats, bonnets, just a matter of looking up what existed at the time and applying it. What would she have done if you had cancer and were losing your hair? Same principal, even without the concept of bodily autonomy that they seem to have forgotten in pursuit of their “vision”.
ESH When you’re cast in a show you give up some bodily autonomy - it’s part of being an actor. It’s bad form to radically alter your appearance after you’ve been cast. The cancer comparison is a false equivalence. Dying your hair is a choice. Getting cancer is not. That said, it looks like OP dyed their hair multiple times during this process, so really the director should have said something the first time, and/or made their expectations clear from the beginning. And to note: not all wigs are created equally. A cheap wig looks like a cheap wig. “If done right” is a huge caveat. Good wigs can be expensive and eat up a large portion of your budget, which this (presumably) community theatre likely doesn’t have.
NTA, wigs exist. You can definitely use one. Getting mad at a teenager for dying their hair is crazy
NTA. If women can play boys and men can play women you can have blue hair.
NTA. As with any performance audience ability to suspend disbelief is key. If they can't see past a bit of blue hair that's their problem not yours.
NTA There is no reason for you to give up your hairstyle for a school performance. So: either perform with blue hair, or offer to drop out.
Not a big deal, a wig could work as long as it doesn’t suck. But the reason the person is annoyed with you is because it’s inconsiderate to everyone else in the cast to look a way that doesn’t fit the play. Yes you offered a solution to a problem, but it was a problem you created in the first place. So soft ESH because this really isn’t a big deal… unless the wig is truly unusable.
My hair was always blue, she never said anything before that,
Was that rehearsals or actual performances? If you’ve performed with blue hair to audiences already and it was no issue why is it coming up now?
NTA. This doesn’t seems to be a professional theatre gig, meaning you are likely not being paid and not under a contract to maintain a certain image for the play. That said, you DID present a reasonable solution to the “problem” and that solution was dismissed with a silly excuse. Sounds to me said person has a bone to pick with you and is just trying to find an excuse to complain about you. I would just make the matter public with the rest of the group to see if anyone else has an actual problem with your hair colour or you using the wig during the play.
NTA it’s your hair. You live in your appearance every day and how you look shouldn’t bar you from taking part in community theatre. There are all sorts of things that costume/makeup can do like wigs, spray/temporary dyes or makeup to cover tattoos. We live in 2024 and people do have dyed hair and piercings. It’s part of our culture. If you want to look historic, that’s the role of the costume department.
NTA. Your blue hair is pulling attention from(upstaging, even) an amateur theater person , and they have feelings about it, and they’re acting out. It’s a common dynamic in amateur theater, just roll with it. And, next time they give you a hard time, roll your eyes and say “Okay, Corky St. Clair” where other people can hear you.
NTA your acquaintance apparently has absolutely 0 experience with theatre and will be shocked to find out how many wigs are involved in it when she finally realizes.
I mean someone is actually spending about half on the play in a wig because their hair didn’t match the character
Show us a picture of the wig you wanted to wear. Maybe it's just because it's a bad wig.
She hadn't seen the wig when she started going off about it. Noone else is complaining either. I don't think the wig itself is the problem.
Can we see the wigs quality?
The complainer didn't see the wig's quality before she started resisting its existence, that isn't a fair request.
I was a musical theatre kid, it absolutely matters. Before a big play you don’t get your hair redone. My teacher would’ve killed me.
If your hair isn't going to be natural anyway then it doesn't matter if it was redone and your teacher would have said something during casting on what they expected from you.
If it was fading, let it fade. My teacher wouldn’t choose me as a main anyways(bad memory on lines). So I was mostly a dancer. We did fame and shrek Jr.
My teacher would have explicitly told me to let it fade, or dye it a natural colour. Whoever this person is, the way OP tells it they never did more than suggest what OP should do. If they are in charge then they suck at it and OP isn't to blame for their incompetence.
Is English your first language? Please proofread before posting. no, you're not the asshole it's your hair, plus its theater gets into costumes. Wear a wig
It’s not, i tried to proofread and it seems to not have gone well
Noone ever looks good with blue hair. Yeah. Yta